Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!
by FollieOfMadness
Summary: "Adam Phoenix Millennium, as per your sentence, you are hereby deemed by Central to test the Time Traveling Device, and, if you succeed in traveling to the past, to additionally assassinate the 14th Noah, aka, Allen Walker." Well...shit, ran through my mind. Ch2 revised.
1. An Introduction of Sorts

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

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_Chapter 1: Burn with me_

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**Author's note: HA! Doctor Who references, and what not.**

**Anyway, this chapter is my new story about D. Gray-man. Don't worry; this story has to introduce you to the OC main protagonist, Adam first off. So no time-travelling.**  
**Yet.**

**For those that are saying that Tykki is OOC, I tried the best I could to make him as he normally is but well I can't do everything perfectly.**

**Disclaimer:**

**I do not own D. Gray-man, nor do I own any characters from the Manga/Anime. Besides Adam, but he's just a OC.**

**Adam: You wanna run that one by me again?**

**Me: Oh, uh, Adam. Shouldn't you be on **_**that **_**train?**

**Adam: Yeah yeah, I'm going there soon. But what did you say about me, **_**just **_**an OC?**

**Me: Well, you are "Just" an OC.**

**Adam: *Activates flame Innocence* How about I see what happens when I set your hair on fire. *Grinning***

**Me: Err, right. Enjoy the read viewers, now if you don't mind, I'm going to go get health insurance. *Sprints***

**AN SUPERIOR:**

**Hello there ladies and gentlemen. I welcome you to my story. Now, first things first, I want to say that I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did so making it. Sincerely, I do. For me, this stories isn't just words, and before I go on I want to mention that I am not trying to be melodramatic or anything like that, it is an anime.  
**

**WAIT WUT**

**Yes, yes, I know. This story is an Anime to me? Well...yes. It is. For me, every scene is done in Anime. Every mental image is drawn with pixels and sparkles and big ol' eyes and hot as hell characters. But that isn't the main reason. The main reason I view this as an Anime, is because it does the same thing for me that an Anime does. It gets me involved in a universe that doesn't have to abide by life's rules. It doesn't have to make everyone's life miserable (granted, that makes for good anime but that's besides the point), nor does it mean that it has to end sadly. For me, Anime is a way of escaping reality, to a world where we _can _change what happens, to world where we don't have to deal with our own problems, to a world where the good things happen to good people and bad to bad people. For me, Anime is an escape, in of itself. An escape that I hope you all can enjoy as much as I do.**

**So, read on, and escape our harsh reality with me. Into a (hopefully anyway :P ) better one.**

**Enjoy.**

**This is going to be a long ride, for both of us.**

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You know, they tell tales of those that sacrificed their lives "For The Greater Good". They also tell tales of those that sacrificed their lives "For The Greatest Amount of YouTube Hits." The former are heroes; something I could only ever strive to be, the latter losers, something I can't help but feel like currently.

Why loser? Well, it's simple. I'm _losing._ Nothing to it. Just as a bird flies, grass grows and sun shines, I lost considerably.

Currently, I'm on the track to lose my life.

Why to lose my life? Simple. I'm burning myself alive with an Akuma; a level 3 to be exact, to save a person that would sooner see me dead than thank me.

"Stupid Exorcist! YOU'LL DIE WITH ME!" The level 3 Akuma yelled, pretty obviously.

"Thank-k, y-you, captain, obv-vious." I stuttered, pain preventing complete speech.

For details, here they are. The Akuma wasn't far from me; the Iron Maiden-esq creation of mine was only able to accommodate so much space after all. The fire within was of my life-force; ordinary fire just wouldn't cut it, damn Akuma armour had to high a melting point to be annihilated.

The battle had been one sided through and through; nothing I could do would harm him, and with my brother so close, I had no other option. I either died alongside my brother, or he lived and I didn't. For me, to die, in a cleansing fire of some mock form of redemption, was like heaven. I was absolved of my crimes, in the flames of hell, and whilst it hurt, a physical agony could never quite match my mental one.

The excruciating pain evoked the same shout one would get from years of pent up frustration and guilt; long, arduous, and only befitting of the actions of the monstrosity making such a sound.

Whilst I can never describe the feeling of such a situation, that being burning yourself alive's agony mixed with saving my brother relief's and fatalism's happiness, I can tell you this. It was the weirdest thing I had felt up to that point.

Well, weird in terms of things not about your mother.

Ha, I thought. Can't stop me now, 'cuz I joking up a good time!

In a strange form of hilarity, or perhaps one that made perfect sense, my thoughts drifted from death to the living; more specifically, the Supervisor of the North American branch.

"How dare you die on the battlefield! Do you know how it'll look on my report that you've DIED?" I've known her long enough to realise that'll be word for word her statement upon returning.

An assessment of her character can be given perfectly with this speech she often gives me:

"Come on! This is just Akuma! I have the utmost faith in you, Adam. I know that you'll become the strongest Exorcist of all of us someday! You'll get so strong, and muscly that all the women will faun all over you! Isn't that what all men want?"

I'm never motivated, but to avoid her strangling (Which she does to quite comedic effect. Well, if you're not me) I humour. What a wonderful relationship, when you think about it; one based on fear.

At least, this way, I always know what to expect from her. A good strangling and a bad pep talk.

"HAH! YOU FOOL! THERE ARE DOZENS, NO, HUNDREDS MORE LIKE ME! AN EXORCIST THAT DIES FIGHTING JUST ONE LEVEL 3 DOESN'T EVEN DESERVE HIS INNOCENCE!" The level 3 ranted, his words barely reaching a noise level above the crackling of fire, obliterating everything and anything.

It didn't matter anymore, responding to him, what I did this for; all of it was engulfed by the flames that were consuming every other aspect of existence. All of my senses, sight, touch, smell, hearing, and taste, all respectively replaced by the fire.

All was orange.

All was pain.

All was ash.

All was smouldering.

All was bitter.

All was being destroyed; including me, before me.

The more and more my mind fell into the abyss of death, or at least unconsciousness, the more it screamed to keep my eyes open, the more it shouted to escape anyway possible, the more it screamed to _live_. The answer was the same on all accounts:

I can't. It's just not possible.

Waiting. Waiting was all I could do. Set myself down in front of the Grim Reapers door after knocking politely, and wait for a response.

To pass the time in such a strangely numb state I was in, more than likely due to the destruction of my nerves, I thought over myself.

Did I have a life worth living?

Such a thing has been debate of many men, all of them greater than me, for innumerable amounts of time.

I was born in America, in California on the 4th of July, in Chicago.

I never knew quite my parents; strange, I know. My relationship with them was never close, in fact, it was quite distant. I was not the son greeted daily, I was the child who just so happened to be living on the same premises as them. That was my innermost thoughts on the matter.

However, the life I had known as a child was tossed into a great, blazing inferno one day, when I was 8.

It was the same as any other night, but I awoke, without knowing why, and went into the kitchen of my home. Nothing was suspicious; at first glance, that is. The second glance revealed interesting results however, very different result matter of fact.

There, on the stove was the kettle, boiling. Sure that my parents hadn't left the stove on when they went to sleep, I approached the great boiling beast with trepid steps and a cautious mindset.

Inside the kettle was something unimaginably odd. 'Twas my Innocence, and it was being boiled for whatever reason. The same kind of compulsion one would get when seeing a member of their family drowning came over my being, and with no consideration whatsoever, I extradited the Innocence with my bare hands.

It burned. Oh lord, it burned. I held a piece of boiling hot Innocence in my right hand, and it didn't just hurt, it seared the flesh from my hand, and replaced it with itself. I found myself to be compatible the worst way possible; via test run of its power, power that I was incapable of controlling.

Said power was the manipulation of fire; fire, that spread straight from my hand, and onto everything . The curtains. The drapes. The carpet. The wood of the house itself. Everything burned, because everything burns. The blaze became uncontrollable, the agony in my hand too great for me to even move, so I had no choice in the next matter.

Whether my parents lived through the inferno, or not.

The family I had was cut in two. I had four members in it, my uncle, my parents and my brother. Now, the last two were the only ones alive, and my brother made sure to never let me forget it.

The emotion behind his eyes made the Innocence pale in comparison. His eyes shot holes in my soul with a 44 magnum, never reloading, never relenting.

As per house fires, I later found myself in a hospital, and as such, in a hospital bed. It was just after the police, of who had numbed expressions, interviewed me about the whole incident, I met a General of the Black Order. General George Fitzpatrick, Accommodator of the Innocence "Rogue's Cloak".

The man wore a cloth; navy blue in colour, around the lower half of his face, so I never saw anything of it below his eyes. Speaking of which, their similarities to the colour of the cloth was uncanny; to the point in where one would think he based the cloth on _them. _As for hair, he had plenty of it, but kept it organised in a single pony tail that trailed all the way down to his neck, and slightly beyond. The dark blue cloth was in fact part of a matching get up of the same substance; he wore a cloak the same material as the cloth, more than likely another part of it, which extended to his kneecaps.

The cloth never wavered; it stood stock still as he moved, as if it were a separate entity, which judging by the glowing cross on the back of it, it probably was.

He took strides to get to me, and knelt to see me better, as the height difference between us was certainly something to write home about. His expression, or lack thereof for that matter, never told me a thing about the man. He had no pity, no sympathy, and no worry. No urge to comfort me, no urge to tell me that it was going to be alright, and no urge to grasp in any way shape or form.

I took the opposite of exception to this; joy filling me at the thought that I wasn't going to talked down upon after such an event happening to me.

He spoke; nothing else, just spoke, a question for me. "Child. Have you ever heard of Innocence?"

When I shook my head, he explained it to me. All of it. The story of the Akuma, Innocence, and my part as an Exorcist to help humanity.

I couldn't have been happier to be given a purpose again. My problem with my parent's death was erased; there was no reason to feel sad anymore. My logic had ground to stand on, and with it I could overcome my sadness.

How naïve I was at that time of the road ahead.

However, my fretting over the safety of my brother came first that day, and I had to ask what would happen to him. He didn't lie; no matter how much I wished he did. He explained to me that my brother was found to be an accommodator as well, and would have to be taken with me to the Black Order. He held no excuse; no explanation for why it had to be my brother to fight in a war he had just minutes ago told me was nearing its end, and not for the better. He told me to take it up with God if I had a problem with Innocence, since that seemed to the most effective method of understanding Innocence and their motives to date.

I ecstatically, and fearfully, agreed to become his apprentice. My brother was to become the apprentice of another General like him, or so I was told, although the identity of said person was unknown to me.

"I'll go with you, if you promise that my brother will never be put in harm's way." My condition was, I believed, fair, and as such he wasted no time in responding.

"I swear, on my honour as an Exorcist, I will protect your brother to the best of my ability."

And that was that, I became an Exorcist as not only did God have a hell of a sense of humour, but since he was an unholy sadist.

The mission we took that day was a simple one; albeit, unmemorable, as I can't seem to remember the point of it. What I do know was the mission was between me and my brother, the one who hated, but still tolerated, me.

The fighting had been intense, obviously. Could it be any other way for an Exorcist? During it, a slip up resulted in my brother downed, at the mercy of a level three. In a fit of fury, I caged the Akuma with my Innocence, myself getting caught up in it as well by mistake. Or maybe God just hates me, as that would explain why he forced Innocence upon me; I dunno. Might explain a lot actually.

The red flames turned blue; a colourful sign of just what it was using to exterminate the Akuma, my life-force.

Despite the bright flames, darkness seeped into my vision ever so slowly, and eventually overcame it entirely.

{**Arise, the majestic Phoenix!**}

My vision returned to me in a flash. (Geddit) The Innocence used to construct the "Cremation Coffin" as I dubbed it, receded into my arm. My form didn't stay standing any longer than was possible in such a situation, as I fell to the floor smoke trailing behind.

Contrary to the sheer agony expected form being reminded of all my wounds sustained during the fight, pleasure, of the raw kind, came over my skin, my being, my _soul_.

It was pleasant; to the extent that it was sleep inducing.

I blinked, and held my eyes closed for a small expanse of time.

I blinked again, and held my eyes closed for a moderate expanse of time.

I blinked yet again, and held my eyes closed for a long time.

I blinked, again, and held my eyes closed until I inattentively drifted off.

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_{G**e**t **h**i**m **t**o **a **h**o**s**p**i**t**a**l**!**}_

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_One year later…_

_Rattle. _I threw my eyelids back, wiped the sleep from my eyes and sighed. I was day dreaming again; of the event in where I had my closest call to date.

The day I burned myself alive.

Shaking my head to remove the sentence from my mind's eye, I swept the train, visually, for a threat. None were apparent to the common glance.

Albeit from my seat on the train I was on, I couldn't see much. The window, the seats, and the people, all opposite of me, were all visible. The people in the rows beside me, to the left and the right, and opposite of those seats and the people residing within them and so on were not.

I examined what I could see of my surroundings thoroughly; nothing of note was there for first glance, the casual one I made earlier, and then came the secondary glance, the predatorily accurate one. With eyes beyond calculating, I scrutinised every detail, and came up with a hit not that long in. Said hit was an Akuma; undoubtedly, from the way it seemed to carry itself. My master, George Fitzpatrick (A name very unsuited for a man with a Japanese lineage, thinking about it) taught me to examine all details, and choose the best option for you to ensure your survival.

He taught me how to read people; it wasn't that hard to grasp the difference between human and Akuma, I had been a pick-pocket as a child after all. My prey, so to speak, was a young woman with magnificently dark purple hair and wearing a nondescript blue long-sleeved t-shirt, no sleeved sweater of the inverse colour on top, and tom boy level of short shorts.

Mentally marking her with the LT button, I approached, hearing the typical heartbeat that indicated my target was nearby, and pressed X when in range. The last thing she heard, before the Hidden blade conjured up my sleeve turned her into a shish kebab, was me whispering into her ear, particular words.

"Requiescat en pace," were those words. Her ears perked; not fully, as the blade prevented her from doing so.

I didn't even bother gazing at the explosion, as I was already out of that particular train carriage and onto the next by the time she did explode.

Damn, I thought. I only got a silent bonus. God damn half a second decides between 3 hundred and 2 hundred points, grumble grumble. Should've just used poison. That would've net me another 2 hundred then and there, damnit. People passed me in a mad dash to escape, terrorism their instant reaction to seeing an explosion on a train, however I paid them no heed as I scanned through them for any other potential threats.

I was still only human, but only just, therefore with all the panic temporarily caused by the explosion I couldn't make heads or tails of anything or anyone. Having no choice but to risk it, I progressed forward, towards the front of the train. It was nearing the destination I had to 'stop off' at, anyway.

The train had been in a tunnel-esq part of New York, in the sense that all the looming buildings had prevented any form of light from penetrating the windows. It would have been dark, pitch black even, only without Riddick, if the lights weren't on-board.

Through the nondescript window of the unremarkable train, I could see the end of the tunnel drawing near, quite quickly actually.

As the train burst out of the tunnel like some kind of scene from Alien, I found, in my vision, was what I was looking for; the Innocence, embedded into a billboard, directly opposite of this train. How it got there was irrelevant, how _I _get there however wasn't so. Devising a plan, one laced with sheer stupidity, was easy. Pulling it off was another story.

I took a few steps back, and prepared myself as I was about to do the unthinkably awesome.

Yes, I am the embodiment of theatrics itself. Or at least, that's what I considered myself to be.

I was _this_ far away from running and jumping out the window, when…

"Oi, boy. Aren't going to jump out that window there, are you?"

The voice belonged to a slowly being corrupted; at least that was what it looked like given his darkening skin, man. Tall, dark and most certainly handsome; and he walked as though he knew it. From my difference in height, I could see under his fringe, and straight at the Stigmata lining his forehead.

Noah! All instincts of mine said to run, continue my run up and escape, whereas years of honed fighting experience was telling I would never make it to the window. I only had one choice, stand and fight, even if it cost me my life, a price that I was unhappy with I assure you.

I readied my Innocence, making a fiery sword and shield defend myself. "Tsk tsk. Haven't you learned about the wonders of heat transference? In this train, the conduction would spread incredibly quickly. Which would kill everyone single person on this train. You can't fight me here without killing innocent people." He said smugly.

"But," He continued, hand convulsing. "I can do with you as I wish." The convulsions stopped.

His speed was blaring; his hand was through my chest before I could bat an eyelash.

"Relax boy, as the Noah of Pleasure I can choose what objects I can touch." He paused, lethally. "What do you think would happen if I decided that it would be a good idea to rip out that heart of yours?" He tried pulling his arm back inside my body, as it went through, but couldn't.

"What trickery is this, boy?" He inquired.

"My skin is mostly made of Innocence," a partial lie admittedly; only on my right side had the Innocence spread, and I was lucky as hell that had decided dead centre in my chest was the best place to put his hand, as it went no further than that, "Old Man, so you can't choose to remove your hand without ripping off your arm." I retorted, mimicking his expression when he first spoke to me.

"Clever, boy." He spoke. "Say, do I know you?"

"No, we've never had the pleasure of meeting before. I'm sure I would have remembered." I responded, puzzled.

His face was annoyingly close to mine; he was examining my face as though it was a work of art.

"Ah! That's right! You remind me of that buffoon, the first Millennium Earl." He grunted, "he acted like such a clown." He admitted. "But, say, boy, do you think you can kill me?"

I had already realised the possibility that if I killed him now, his arm would materialise, and since he went straight through my heart it would kill me near instantly.

"Let me guess, you powers only work on limbs attached to your body, so if I kill you then you're arm will materialise inside of me and kill me. And I'm guessing that since you haven't simply let it materialise that you don't want to get your clothes stained. So, we're stuck here, until either your compatriots or mine find us, and then yank your arm out of me." I said.

He gave me a smirk that practically signed my death warrant then and there. "Not quite. Have I ever told about my 'Teez'?"

Well, it's safe to assume that I'm fucked.

_30 minutes later…._

My vision had become impaired several minutes prior to then, and it hurt to breath, to move, to do anything really, after 15 minutes of fighting this man. A nibble from his Teez had replaced all feeling with numbness in my left arm, and a poorly deflected blow with my right hand had left the wrist aching uncontrollably.

The battle had quickly escalated out of the train and to the front door of the building which possessed the Innocence embedded sign, and was not going in my favour. I had barely scratched the man; me, he had gotten plenty of. He had enough of my blood inside his god damn butterflies to last a lifetime, or to make another me, and I was definitely showing for it. My legs shook, all my hits were half-assed, my mind could barely focus, and all I wanted to do then was sleep, despite the fate I knew was assigned to sleeping under these circumstances.

"Tired yet, boy?" The Noah spoke ironically; that is, he _teased_.

"You should, try banging, your mother, some time. It is, far more, exhausting, than this." All words escaped panting lips, and I didn't even think half of them were eligible.

Still, his eye twitched in agitation, and he sighed. "Boy, you've come up with nothing more than 'your mother' retorts this entire fight. At least try and be creative."

A flaming tendril caught his leg, and his eyes widened in a quizzical fashion. "Next time, try spending, less time, taunting, and more time, on your, guard." I wheezed.

With a swift strike he broke free, and landed a couple yards further down the street. Destroying a pack of butterflies with an obliterating strike from my blade, I smirked. Bingo. He landed right where I wanted him to.

The Noah had no time to truly react before the block he was in was levelled, courtesy of my flame C4, and smoke clouded all. "Ha. You can, insult big, but you can't, take a blow, for shit, can you?" I breathed out, trying to calm down and regain at least some of my breath before he got up. I wasn't stupid; Noah don't go down that easily.

"You really shouldn't have done that, _boy._" Spoke a voice through the smoke. Three guesses as to who it is.

Out of the smoke came a battle damaged, barely, Noah, eyes and body primed to destroy me. "You really shouldn't have done that."

Making a flame barrier didn't do anything to stop the Noah; he disappeared underneath it and reappeared on the other side, plans for murder unchanged. All objects thrown were either avoided or deflected with some form of star shaped Dark Matter shield, thingy, (Not that good with descriptors) therefore making my attacks absolutely _useless._

He was nearing, I was moving, and eventually I touched something I _really _wished that I didn't.

A wall. I had hit a dead end. Soon, I'll be that adjective, the way things are going, I thought grimly. Beg? Nah. I don't hate myself enough for that. Go out fighting? Fuck it, worth a shot.

"Hey, Noah! Wanna hear how I got this Innocence?" I was doing my best heath Ledger impression. Please for the love of god let him be so impressed by my acting skills that he lets me go, I silently pleaded.

Apparently, Noah Badger don't give no shit, as he was impassively evil all the time.

Well, that was kind pointle-

_The last thing I felt before consciousness failed me was the sense of being stabbed through my back, and me falling to my apparent doom on the ground, before the Noah._

**_My last thoughts as I fell became simple._**

_**Well, that escalated quickly.**_

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Author's note: **Cliffhanger, I know. But if published work can do it then so can I! MWUAHAHAHAHA! That and there's also a foreshadowing thing at the end. Thingy. Majig.**

**After all, the Millennium Earl has gotta revive SOMEDAY now...**

**Adam: I still haven't forgiven you for insulting me. So get on your knee's immediately and start begging for your life before I castrate you with a petrol can. While on fire.**

**Me: How is that even physically possible?**

**Adam: *Grinning like a mad-man* Wanna find out? *Activates Innocence***

**Me: Good thing I got life insurance...**

**Anyway, review, positive or negative, I get encouragement to write these when I get reviews. **


	2. SHARINGAN

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

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_Chapter 2: Crossbreeding: Fact or Fiction?_

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**Disclaimer:**

**I do not usually own D. Gray-man, but when I do, I make Lenalee and Allen kiss.**

**Wait, what?**

**REAL Disclaimer:**

**I'm not going to say it, Adam is, because Adam is my prison b*tch, aren't you Adam?**

**Adam: I will kill you one day, Jackass.**

**Me: I'd like to see you try.**

**Adam: *Devilish smile and stare* How 'bout I singe a few more strands of that hair of yours?**

**Me: Well, uh, um, Review rate ETC ETC, I've, uh, got to SPRINT *Runs away screaming***

**AN SUPERIOR:**

**Out of either boredom or inability to feel okay with this chapter being as it is, I'm rewriting this. Simple as that. I'm making a few changes to this chapter, such as adding a bit more to it and whatnot. You'll see when you read this, those that have read the previous version.  
**

**Now, LET'S ROCK!  
**

* * *

**_?_**

"_I already told you, no. I don't care about that child anymore, that, hand of his is getting more and more misshapen! We should just give him back to the adoption agency!" The woman speaking was my mother; not my biological one as you may have guessed already.  
_

"_And I already said to you, just like in our marriage vows I promise to be with this kid for better or for worse. That's what a good father does, care for his son-" His words of virtue were cut short by a white-hot tongued individual.  
_

"_But he's not our son! He's a monster! He bleeds every night, all over the pillows and sheets! His forehead's lined with the sign of the impure! Stigmata, XXXX, Stigmata! I'm telling you, he's a monster!"  
_

_Their voices. Sin versus virtue; right, against wrong.  
_

_He was the saint; she, the sinner.  
_

_In spite, I sought to destroy her, with the same immolating fires of hatred she used against me.  
_

_This right hand gave me everything I needed to simply burn everything away. To turn all into ash.  
_

_Just let it burn, I had asked it in pure fury.  
_

_Let it burn._

**_Burn._**

**Burn.**

_Screams of torment became evident above the crackling of fire, alongside my insane laughter.  
_

_Twist, the world did. Without warning, it did so, and I found myself in unfamiliar territory. Namely, a room that defied description and a mirror that reflected more than should be possible.  
_

_A diamond-shaped marking on a stranger's forehead, right behind me, was within it.  
_

_I turned around to face this, enigma, only for him to disappear completely._

_I gazed into it again; instead, my face was his._

_The diamond-shaped marks were in my forehead._

_Shifted, the entire world did. Every detail became obscured and then clear, within moments of each other. It revealed a place that's type I had seen plenty of; a cemetery, although the place itself was unknown to me.  
_

_Before me was not just graves, as one would expect from a cemetery, but a child. He was grieving, evidently. The only thing of anything particular description was the mitten he wore on his left hand.  
_

_To the little boy in front of a tombstone, I said "I can bring him back, you know."_

* * *

**_THWACK!_**

* * *

"Ow." Came my automated reply at waking up, alongside a gingerly applied to my face rubbing hand.

I became faintly aware of my surroundings; a typical hospital room, with me in a typical hospital bed, when I erected myself. Nothing glamorous, sadly. Upon losing all feelings of sleepiness, I started to ponder just what the hell I was on when I dreamed last night.

That was, until I was being strangled by the Supervisor of the North Branch.

"HOW DARE YOU GET INJURED LIKE THAT ON A MISSION! YOU FAINTED WHEN IN THE MIDST OF A NOAH! DO YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF WE DIDN'T GET THERE BEFORE HE KILLED YOU?!" She screamed.

The Supervisor of North American Branch, Mrs Sarah Chalk, was like this on all occasions. Mission successes, failures, everything. It wasn't quite that she _wanted _to hurt people, she told me once that she despised violence, but she saw 'no other way to drill it into us the severity of the situation no matter what.'

Hey, if that helps her sleep at night with the knowledge that she is effectively trying to murder people, then it's fine by me.

I attempted speech only to be stopped by the fact that I was swallowing my tongue.

"Gh, kkkh, kcvk, ghhg, jjk." Complete jargon came from me in defense.

Wait. Fainted? I'm pretty sure that I had a blade in me when I passed out.

Amidst the strangling, I managed to run a hand over the entirety of where I felt the blade, and came up with nothing.

I wasn't stabbed; this wasn't physical evidence to indicate that. However, what was that aura, that primal fear I felt, that made me feel like throwing up all over myself?

My answers certainly weren't going to be found in hell, therefore I took actions to ensure my survival.

"Stop, strangling, me. Please." All words were strained most definitely.

My pleading did nothing; as I had suspected it probably would, given the fact that it was _her _that I was talking about. Turns out, she was ranting the entire time, and I just wasn't paying attention, therefore I decided to do so.

"…AND HOW DARE YOU GO ON AN UNSPECIFIED MISSION!? NO ONE KNEW WHAT KIND OF THREAT WAS THERE! YOU'RE LUCKY THAT MRS BRIDGE WAS WITHIN STONES THROWING DISTANCE! OTHERWISE YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN KILLED!"

I was in the Infirmary at the North American branch and she was the one crying/strangling me for being incompetent.

Proverbial sigh:

It figured, I was home.

Whatever kind of dysfunctional one it was, it was still home.

The end of the strangling brought about me giving a verbal report of my mission.

The question 'why was it verbal' was two fold. One, I had made it adamant that there was no way in _hell _that I would write out the entirety of my missions by hand. I'm not some insane Author of a stupid fan-fiction, I'll have you know. Two, it would have been impossible to. Now, the question of the question's answer is obviously 'why was it impossible?'

Answer? My hand was telling me go fuck myself. Effectively.

Every once in a while, my hand would go bonkers, for a reason unknown to me, doing the whole shebang of convulsing for seemingly its own amusement.

Did I mention the pain? It hurt like HELL when it happened.

Every occurrence of this event typically happened whenever I had a alien, yet strangely familiar, dream. Such as the previous one I had that day.

Whether this means that the Noah clan were playing tricks on me to get me to kill my friends (Note: I didn't know the Demon eyed Noah wasn't capable of making me see false images at the time. And I was pretty paranoid; I think I remember throwing a perfectly good muffin away because I thought it was poisoned. Well it was poisoned as it turns out, but I was still being paranoid none the less - _Adam_) or I for some unknown reason (that could most easily be explained as being crazy) am being unjustified.

I didn't need this, I thought.

To elaborate; Mrs Bridges is one of the 4 Generals.

The 4 are, from weakest to strongest, Mr Eisenhower Autumn, Mr Archrast Beige, Mrs Bridge Rockwell, and, the man of the hour, my master, Mr George Fitzpatrick.

I only ever saw him fight once, during my apprenticeship with him. I will never forget the speed and ferocity with which he wielded like a blade (geddit) in combat. The two daggers he utilized were too fast for the eye to follow, let alone comprehend.

That was his Innocence, "Rogue's Cloak". It was a Crystal-type that conjured a cloak (Note: At the time I didn't know that the cloak made him invisible, I thought it was just for show –_Adam_) and 2 daggers, one black as night and the other brighter than the dawn.

Although, Innocence, the concept of Akuma and the entirety of this secret war factored in, that was be no means strange. Fact of the matter is the powers of other Exorcists are far stranger.

Case in point, Kristen Beige, (Archrast is her brother) the woman with the massive feet, obnoxious sense of superiority over everyone and general being a bitchness has Innocence with the ability to summon animals to fight for her. She is known as a power-type Exorcist, the kind that gain more or less superpowers with Innocence compared to an Equipment type, of who would use their Innocence itself as a weapon, or parasite types who do the same except they kind of die quicker.

Last time I made rather witty comment about her shoe size she summoned an Alligator to try and bite my head off. Damn thing nearly succeeded, but not before I had fractured my thumb on 'E' in my attempt (And success) to stop it.

Needless to say, comments about her shoe-size has gone down in recent months.

Marian Bellwood, a British (And Brutish) chap from London; his Innocence gives him the ability to control liquids. Another power type, you see.

He god damn threw piss at me in my sleep because I had insulted him for having a girl's name.

Also needless to say, all attempts at retaliation with the same type of attack have had...lackluster results.

What kind of jackass throws their own piss at people, though, getting back on topic?

I could go on with the amount of times I've practically been molested by these people that I call friends, truly I could given how much they must obviously envy my sheer genius and good looks, however for the purposes of this...story I will continue.

Anyway, my verbal report quickly fell into the 'finished' category, and Chalk left the room. Soon enough, the typical hospital routine that ensured my ability to move by myself came around, which I passed with flying colors, and before you could say 'suck my crippled ass' I had left and was venturing towards my room.

I had just enough time to reach it and lay down before an almost dreadfully familiar knock came to my door.

"Adam, mission." The female voice of Kristen Beige spoke as I rose from my bed and ended up at the door.

"I got back from the hospital not even thirty seconds ago. You and I both know the response I'm going to give."

"'You can suck me as hard as your mother last night'? Indeed, I do know you're retorts, you simpleton."

"Wrong your."

"Excuse me, imbecile?"

"I said the next time you insult me make sure you rearn Engrish properry next time."

"Racist douchebag idiot."

"Fat footed, head-ed, and ego-ed bitch."

"You coming or not, stupid?"

"Already have." WHOOSH! The flame clone I had left behind to talk to her disappeared audibly, giving her a pretty clear indication of what had happened.

"AD~~~AM~~~! YOU PIECE OF SHI-"

"Whoa whoa _whoa!_ This is meant to be a fucking family friendly story you cocksucking motherfucker! Cut down on the cursing, geez! Is it so much to ask?"

The natural retort came from behind, and a Siberian Tiger immediately responded in its own natural way.

Cue announcer saying 'Slice 'n' Dice!'

Anyway, dodging everything like a baller, I saw my opening through the feline's ferocious barrage of claws and took it, typical fighting bullshit aside. The Siberian Tiger took its last breath inside of a concrete wall, as a Flaming Adam Punch had positioned it so, prior to disappearing far faster than one could blink.

"So, you want to admit defeat or do I have to pin you again? I'd prefer it be the foremost; even I'm not desperate enough to want to be on top of you." Cools words; fiery reaction. If you're wondering why I mentioned pinning, well, it was how situations like this turned out. I disliked her, and she disliked me. Disputes weren't uncommon; especially this kind, and we eventually agreed to settle who had won by either pinning or surrender.

She currently leads me by two, soon to be one after she admits defeat.

"Just shut up you moron, and go get your mission." She called out exhaustively, having also just got back from a mission if the bandages around her orange hair/face were anything to go by.

"Okeydokey. Later bitch." Cue 'a-okay' sign as the screen transitioned to later.

* * *

_**SPEAKING OF LATER, IT WAS**_

* * *

"Am I the only one who feels like this is being rushed through?" I thought aloud, swiveling in my chair to face Mrs Chalk in her office. The office was an office; nothing fancy, beyond the portrait of the man she had told me was her husband. Apparently, he was an artist, and died one too. The Akuma blood virus killed him; before that though he finished his painting that he had spent weeks on. Afore mentioned portrait was that painting.

"Adam. Typical snatch and grab Innocence mission. However, we do have a bonus objective this time," as she spoke I was busy with my forearm in my face. "What on earth are you doing?"

"Huh?" Came my unprepared reply. "Oh, just updating my journal and checking inventory." Chalk, being the woman who had worked over me for years, didn't question my words for a second.

"The bonus objective is the rescue of a defector. We got lucky; this time, we have a level three who's grown a conscience and has handed itself to us for immediate removal of its bloodlust and loyalty Matrix. Thankfully, the Earl still hasn't taken over all the powers of the previous one, meaning has been unable to understand the current allegiance of this Akuma so far. We do not know how much longer it will take however for the matter to come to his attention. Precautionary measures were taken, and it was during her transition into custody that it was found she knew the location of a piece of Innocence that a great deal of Akuma are currently incapable of-"

"Wait wait _wait._ She? The defector's a _woman_?" Such news wasn't uncommon; hence why Mrs Chalk didn't quite understand the significance with which I spoke.

"Yes...why?"

"Foreshadowing."

"What?"

"What?"

* * *

**_AT MISSION PLACE  
_**

* * *

Amaya writhed inside the Bondage Absolute Garb (BAG for short) typically used to confine Akuma, her sudden claustrophobia giving her a sense of complete unease of her invisible (to her) surroundings, the basement of a supporter's house. Something about the situation felt off, despite her being unable to use her five senses to comprehend any form of danger. Contrary to her inability to acquire new information at the moment, she had been right to assume something bad was going on outside of her portal prison.

Outside the B.A.G. were the voices of the Finders she handed herself in to, laced in malice and anger.

"She's defenseless!" Protested the only woman there. From Amaya's first observation of the group, she remembered her having ocean green colored eyes and hair, the latter held in a simple Ponytail.

"She's a sodding Akuma! I'd say, kill her where she lays!" Shouted the Finder Unit's Leader, a man unrealistically British in every physical sense.

"She's agreed to help us! She's going against everything she knows for the good of humanity! How dare you treat her like garbage!"

"She _is _garbage! She's a god damn _Akuma, _the scum of the Earth!"

"I'm starting to doubt the scum here is the one in the B.A.G., personally!"

The argument had no end in sight; it appeared to only be getting progressively hotter.

"Shut up you _git!_ I'm the Leader of this Unit, and if you have a problem with how I do things, then you are welcome to sodding leave!"

"Just because you lost your family to Akuma doesn't mean you have the right to destroy a helpless one!"

"Listen to yourself! You're defending _that **trash!**_"

"No, I'm arguing with _trash** now**_!"

Bain, the Leader of the Finder unit, was not known for making rational decisions when angered. Sure, he could pull them out of his ass freely when in battle, but during those times the adrenaline kind of removed all other emotions for him, therefore giving him free reign over his judgement. However, in such a situation, what happened could have only been described as 'brutal, and unnecessary'.

What happened was he shot her. Then and there. He had whipped out a pistol, fully loaded, and fired the entire clip at her. No breaks in between trigger pulls.

No mercy.

He wasn't so stupid as to think he could kill her hand to hand before the rest of his Unit could get him off of her. Sadly, such rational thought tended to be counter productive for him, as he ended up thinking up even more ways to deeper plunge himself into trouble.

After this was all over, he was undoubtedly going to 'regret' it, make a 'toast' in her name, and then drown his 'sorrows' for a week before resuming his normal Finder duties. After altering the records so that it read it was an accident, of course.

Of course, such actions would only have been necessary had he _hit _her.

The bullets were all blocked by a flaming helping hand, courtesy of yours truly.

Now, when I go into the basement of a supporter's home where I'm told by my Golem Billy Bob Joe that the Finders I'm supposed to meet are there, certain expectations are present.

Such as not having to save someone from _dying _seconds after arriving. Were I not an Exorcist, I wouldn't have been able to react in time, and therefore save Rebecca, the girl I knew from earlier Finder squads.

She always did seem to have the luck of the devil, surviving squad loss after squad loss like that.

"Ah, come on! I disappear for, let me see, five, six missions and I have to save you _again_, Rebecca?" I was referring to how, five or six missions ago, I rescued her from the previous Finder unit she was in.

Keyword _from._ The special ability of one level two was especially hazardous, as it turned the squad into human puppets and used them to try to kill me.

As mortals went, they were rather easy to annihilate with fire, I think. It helped that I was getting an opposite type attack damage bonus.

After all, things that burn are obviously the nemesis of that which burns, are they not?

"A-Adam!" Rebecca exclaimed, ocean green hair flailing slightly, almost like an ocean breeze had collided with it.

"Who else but me could save your pretty little ass from extinction, one time after another?" A light blush seemed to cover her cheeks momentarily, before she assumed her normal argumentative stance.

"Could you have arrived any _later_!?" She challenged.

"Yes." I said flatly, eyes sweeping over the room and noticing the 'oh shit' expression of Bain and his gun reloading.

"I was almost _killed!_"

"The only reason almost is there instead of an empty space is thanks to me, for your information."

"Listen to me you egotistical son of a bitch, you have the _gall _show up late, _and _say that I should be thanking you for saving me when I could have easily saved myself!"

"Your point?"

That popped her argumentative bubble.

"I don't have one." She responded in an almost sad monotone.

"Oooookay." I replied. Peering over her shoulder, I continued, "I presume that the Akuma is in the B.A.G.?"

"You presume correctly." She said coolly. "Why?"

"Because that one guy with the crooked-as Teeth is trying to shoot it." I said in an equally cool voice.

Cue her stunned facial reaction and fast head turn. She was about to shout out 'stop' before she saw him, bound and gagged, lying on the floor.

"I may or may not have noticed him doing that earlier and or fed a lie to the local police, oh wait wrong time for a reference. Woops. I meant, I may or may not have noticed him doing that earlier and have ensnared him with my flame Innocence. Maybe."

Eyebrow twitching, but otherwise calm, she said in that exact tone of voice "you could have just told me you were going to stop him."

I smiled broadly. Now was my chance. "I don't make girls promises I don't know if I can keep. Or something like that."

"RELEASE THE CAPTAIN!" The Scottish man of the group shouted, his loyalty shining in both his eyes and words.

"Not until he promises to keep his firearm to himself, buddy." I taunted whilst nearing said bound individual. "You promise," I squatted right in front of the man, "not to try to hurt Amaya again, or do I have to start getting jiggy with it on your face?"

The Captain certainly wasn't a suicidal idiot, as he soon promised (ungodly reluctantly) to not harm Amaya. The strain to put his words together was clear, indeed.

"Eh, that's the best I'll get out of you." Cue me raising him five feet off the ground and releasing the restraints. "_That's_-" OOMPH! "-for trying to kill Amaya. Me dropping you to the ground is just because I don't like you."

Grumbling, the angry kind, the Squad Unit Leader stood to his full height and reigned (figuratively) over me. Now, I may not be tall, but this guy was so most definitely. He was a head higher than me, said head being of a Horse.

"Get away from the Captain." The Scot growled, viscerally.

Hands defensively poised, I quipped "I'll keep back from your Lover, Sheep humper. So long as he doesn't try to hurt Amaya again, I'll stay back. The second he does though, he'll be missing a few things. Appendages, or rather, _a _appendage. His d*ck, probably." My attention went to the Scot. "Might give it to you as a memento, actually."

Said soon to be manhood-loser didn't pale as expected/hoped, but his subordinates did.

"D-Don't do anything Captain! One putrid Akuma isn't worth the loss of the ultimate weapon down there!" A random, nameless Finder said.

The Captain give it a good ten seconds before he backed off, not doing so in fear I surmised, but more at the pleas of his men.

"Ooookay. So, the Alpha bitch having learned his place, who wants to take first turn carrying Amaya?"

* * *

**_PLACE, LATER, AFTER THE TYPICAL 'EVERYTHING'S TOO QUIET' JINXING THE MAIN PROTAGONIST BS...  
_**

* * *

...BOOOOOOM!

The Akuma blood bullets fired as consistently as snow on the coldest winter evening ever, creating an unending wall of purple death to anyone who would leave the cover presented by the rubble.

Of which, I was behind, along the Finder Squad (with the exception of the random finder that spoke up earlier, for obvious reasons involving what happens when a bullet enters ones head) that were supposed to be the best of the best despite what them quivering might lead you to believe.

"I'D BE MORE MOTIVATED TO SAVE US ALL IF ALL OF YOU WEREN'T ACTING LIKE PUSSIES YOU KNOW!" I roared over the newest batch of gunfire.

"BITE ME, GIT!" The Leader of the Finders returned.

A shot penetrated through the thick concrete cover we had, approximately _really fucking close _to my head. A lock or two of my hair fell like leaves on the wind to the ground.

"F*CK THIS!" You get one Burger with Strength if you guess who said that.

I shot up faster than the next volley could ever hope to travel, and (**AN: You people have spoken! Your votes on my still running poll have decided Adam's choice of weapon, but due to the tie I'll be going with what's higher up on the Alphabet first, therefore Adam's weapon for this fight is...**) conjured...

"DARTH MAUL, SUCK IT!" The flame replication of said Sith's Lightsaber became a blur in perfect sync with its wielder's speed. The first Akuma fell with a swift stab wherein the blade extended and three more Akuma behind it fell. Quickly, and consistently, Akuma began exploding seemingly of their own volition. My slashes across them being quick enough to give the speed of light a run for its money may or may not have had anything to do with it.

In retaliation, the level ones surrounded me.

It would prove to be the last mistake they ever made.

I satire-d Neo in the face by wedging the blade into the ground and spinning on it to rapidly kick the Akuma in a perfect circle.

Said kicks had the added benefit of a spiked shoe sole.

It turned into a meat grinder fast as more and more level ones began funneling into my kicks, all trying to attack me. The only thing that prevented it from continuing was the only smart one having gone in from above, and was impaled by a quickly escaping individual's blade for its efforts.

Outside the circle of Akuma, which I landed, a horde out of nowhere appeared. "A WILD PACK OF RETARDED AKUMA APPEARED!" I taunted whilst preparing myself for launching.

I jumped; they shot; I dodged; they fired more; I flew gracefully; they fired angrily, seemingly. I cut; they flew away; I ripped; they exploded; I murdered; they _died_. Movements became irrelevant as Akuma after Akuma were slashed, stabbed, or otherwise dismembered by my Double-Ended Lightsaber. I was no longer conscious of my actions; all attacks, blocks and counters became controlled by years of experience.

To write it out would go something like this:

Sadistically, Adam grinned in sick anticipation of the assured onslaught. Like lemmings, the creations of the Millennium Earl neared, blissfully unaware of the destruction soon wrought upon them.

Neither side started before the other; Adam leaped precisely as the front most Akuma fired the first round.

It was a slaughter.

"Haha...hahaha...hahahaha...HAHAHAHAHA..._HAHAHAHAHAHA!_" The laughter of pure insanity began to seep through all the violence, its source the supposed 'savior' of Akuma, the _Exorcist, _a term that couldn't now apply to Adam Phoenix Millennium.

Right as Adam deflected the strike of an Akuma bullet, memories of a particular day in which he lost himself the same way he had then surfaced, and snapped the young man's psyche out of its gutter.

I fell to my knees, tears beginning to surface as 'certain memories' did likewise. "No...I can't do this...can't like it happen again..._never..._" At 'never', my hand tightened its hold on my blade, or Darth Maul's Double-Ended Lightsaber to others. "_NEVER AGAIN!"_ With fury only partly for the Akuma, I tore through them with more viciousness than the most violent of Animals could manifest.

The Finders meanwhile were shitting themselves. They saw the Exorcist that had, just minutes ago, back before all of this went to hell, during the transportation of Amaya (Of who was still around and being carried by the Scot, albeit unwilling on his account) been cracking jokes like nobody's business. Now, he was a ruthless killing machine, Akuma dying left and right as he parried and stabbed and slashed and gutted and all round brutalized the Akuma.

For once in his life, the Finder Unit leader was almost sympathetic towards the Akuma.

He might have been too, had they not murdered his entire family in the past.

"My god..." Rebecca choked out. Despite having seen Adam lose himself to blood-lust and then hate subsequently on several occasions, she still felt...hurt, almost, seeing him like that. The animalistic anger and sheer savage depravity of his blood-lust happening in reverse to this listed order pulled at strings in her heart that she wasn't even aware she _had_. When Adam smirked in aggressive pleasure upon blocking an Akuma's shot and cutting it in half, and soon after savagely beat one of the Akuma's with the handle of the Lightsaber, she flinched. Even so, she retained her position behind the cover, not stupid enough to think she could change a thing.

_If I just had the power of an Akuma..._she thought. _Then I could just _help _more than being a stupid Finder. If only..._

Her thoughts ended as quickly as they came, shame billowing in place of them.

As she sulked, Adam fought, and whilst he did so, the Akuma population decreased rapidly.

Sure enough, Adam was placed in a fight between him and the last Akuma around...

..._CLANG!_ A blocked bullet rebounded and churned the practically made of rubble road in dust, giving me the opening I needed. _KTCH! _The blade pierced with minimal effort. _SHNK!_ It was removed with that much effort too.

Before me laid the corpses of the dozens upon dozens of annihilated Akuma, my breathing testament that I had done it, as well as the last few living ones.

The barrage weighed down on me in my moment of relaxation at them being the last few alive. My flashy Lightsaber spinning deflected all the shots, prior to my utilization of it as a Meat Grinder on one unlucky Akuma. It fell apart at the seams after the last few twirls were done, and I was behind it having gone through it.

I turned; I saw, I leaped, I eviscerated. The second last Akuma came apart cleanly, exploding before I even touched the ground again.

I made a 'come at me' gesture at the last Akuma in sight, and it obliged apparently instinctively.

You know how that dance goes.

BOOM! Anticlimactically admittedly, the Akuma exploded. "Well, that was a sha..." My eyes widened in response to the Akuma Oil staining my Dual-Ended weapon.

A lick. Give it a lick. Taste the sweet euphoria that is blood, my mind whispered to me. Automatically, the blade neared my mouth, and also automatically, came my will to stop. The hand that had betrayed me via nearing the blade was stopped by my other one. "I can't. Not after what I did last time..." I mumbled. Soon enough, through sheer human willpower I evaporated the Oil with my flame Innocence, causing me to once again fall to my feet, sweating and breathing intensively.

"Well, that was close. I almost passed ou-" _PLOP._

* * *

_***SPOILER ALERT*  
HE PASSED OUT  
**_

* * *

"What is it with me and being knocked unconscious?" I mumbled as I rubbed my bandaged head, finding myself in the infirmary. "I must be their best customer." I mused, staring at the door. I sighed, and tried to enjoy the undoubtedly last bit of comfort I'd get before I'd be sent on a mission.

Again.

Maybe, if I killed myself, I could get a day off work...

Nah. They'd use my corpse for other means...

...Hopefully, not the perverse kind...

...What the hell happened to this train of thought?...

...Thinking about it now, I don't want to know...

...I really wish I had an interruption no-

_Adam._

I blurred through a series of clumsy hand-signs and whispered "Kage Bushin no reference, I swear!" There wasn't any response to my attempt, and obvious success, at humor. But seriously, I thought examining the eerily empty Infirmary, what was that...voice, thingy?

_Adam~._

I almost jumped out of bed, the fact that I could still barely feel my limbs being the only reason why I didn't. "Who are you?"

_Adam~~._

"But I'm Adam, damnit!"

_Adam~~~._

"Who's this Adam guy? Explain yourself!"

_Follow me, Adam._

"YOU AREN'T MAKING ANY GOD DAMN SENSE!"

_WOOB WOOB WOOB WOOB WOOB._

"WELL WOOB WOOB WOOB WOOB TO YOU TOO, JACKASS!"_  
_

I stared at the door once again. The 'woobs', whatever you could it, thingys, had gradually left the room in that direction. I'm not a curious person, I'll tell you that, but when angered I'll chase just about anything.

Cue me running out of said doors screaming at 'the fucker' to get back here.

"...AND AFTER THAT, IF YOU DON'T GET BACK, I'LL FUCK THE _OTHER _HOLE..."

You get the idea.

In no short amount of time, I stumbled across a room checkered in pattern and color. The black and white theme didn't stop with the tiles, rather it ended with the black cushions on the white couch. There was other furniture, too. A table, complete with a black tea set to accompany its white frame, nested itself between the couch and two chairs, both evenly spaced and facing the table, almost making a makeshift circle of chairs (Couch included).

"Glad you decided to join us, Adam." The same, odd voice said. The voice, punnily enough, spoke volumes about the man's character before I even noticed him sitting in the leftmost chair (if I were to be sitting on the couch, which I did shortly after he spoke, that is). He sounded noble, most certainly, also authoritative, akin to a leader in fact. Such an estimate was only proven when I noticed the middle aged Victorian-esq clothing wise man sitting in afore mentioned chair.

"Sit." I did. On the couch. I stared at my surroundings and self. When did I get from the door to the couch? "I can manipulate quite a few things in here, since I effectively own this portion, if you're wondering how you got to the couch without walking. And before you ask, no I cannot read your thoughts. You're face doesn't leave much to the imagination, as much as I wish it would."

Cue eye twitch. "Did you just insult me?"

"Oh dear god it doesn't understand basic humor," he mumbled under his breath, but definitely loud enough for me to hear, "of course not." The entirety of its tone was sarcasm. "I wouldn't even dream of insulting such a handsome, simply scrumptious woman like yourself."

"Why thank- HEY! SUCK ME, OLD MAN! BUT I'D BET YOU'D LIKE THAT TOO!"

_That _got him up in arms. "WHO YOU CALLING OLD, BOY!?"

"WHO YOU CALLING BOY, PEDO!?"

"WHO YOU CALLING PEDO, CHILD!?

"WHO YOU CALLING CHILD, OLD MAN!?"

The lighting, the _electricity _coursing through the air was almost spine tingling; I half expected sparks to start shooting from our eyes.

Then I sat down, and tried to act like an actually normal person.

"Is there a reason why I'm here?" Whilst speaking I examined the room visually, finding myself physically incapable of getting myself off the couch.

"You want the long version or the short version?"

"Er, short version...?"

"God obviously hates everyone that you've ever spoken to, met and seen, especially me. But, if you're asking why you're _here, _right _now, _it's because God hates _you._"

"What 'chu talkin' 'bout boy?"

"I'm speaking of the fact that right now, a certain _someone _related to you is being held captive by your so called 'correct side' the Black Order so that they can conduct heinous experiments in the name of God on him."

If my eyes ever widened in my life, it would have been then. "_What?_"

"It's as I said. Right now, your brother is being forced into the Noah-Exorcist Crossbreed Program, also known as the Sixth Exorcist program. They take children Exorcists, and children in general, to experiment on. The latter being the ones who get the worst treatment." His tone never wavered at any point in his sentences. He was entirely conversational.

I was far too shocked to respond.

In case you're wondering, how I know isn't important. What's important right _now, _isyou're in the Infirmary, in the real world, this place isn't quite that, and your brother is on the lowest floor of the North American Branch. Boy," he effectively paused dramatically by taking a tea cup and pouring said beverage in it.

"As soon as you are cast out of this world." He paused, randomly, and half suspected that he was only doing it for dramatic effect.

"_Run. _As fast as you can, _run._ Oh, and due to the constructive connectivity of equilibrium and its quantum counterparts being inverse to relative frequencies of defenestration and other assorted manipulative machinations you won't remember anything about all of this except what I said about your brother when you wake up.

Goodbye."

"Wha-"

* * *

**_SHOOPDAWOOP_**

* * *

I pronounced a 'T' whence jerking up, from the familiar comfort of a hospital bed to sitting slightly less so.

For (at the time what I thought) the first time I was in an empty infirmary, no nurses (That I could see), no patients (Also that I could see), all somewhere else seemingly, with a nagging voice in the back of my head.

_Danger. Brother. In._

A fog overcame my mind; the haze of confusion, more would know it as. Confoundedly, and robotically, I stepped out of bed.

"Danger...brother...in..." I verbalized the voice.

Soon enough, my own mind came into play as I reached the Infirmary door. "Oh shit, my brother is in danger," everything was slurred and no hint of urgency, when it should have been, was present, I didn't say my mind had become _completely _sober FYI. But, soon enough, "OH SHIT, MY BROTHER IS IN DANGER!" echoed throughout the halls, and its owner also happened to travel them.

Specifically, the ones leading to the basement.

* * *

**_A RUNNING DOWN A SERIES OF STAIRS BEFORE REALIZING THERE WAS AN ELEVATOR AND GOING 'I DUN GOOFED' LATER  
_**

* * *

...CRACK! The sound of whip shattering the sound barrier was dangerously close to my head, as I rolled side to side at random intervals to keep my opponent guessing.

When the end of the whip very nearly blinded me, I ended up pondering just how the hell I had ended up in this situation.

All I did was come out of the Elevator, I thought, and ask the odd fellow dressed in a Crow uniform why he was guarding a door covered in Dark Matter and Innocence seals. I was trying to be nice when he started shouting, but things escalated at the mentioning of certain activities between me and his mother, and then he started trying to kill me; so much for diplomacy.

The thoughts of why soon became of thoughts of how, IE, how I was going to beat an opponent that seemed intent on pushing me ba-

A smirk reserved only for those that just had a brain wave became my lip's expression.

Purposely, my guard failed, and I was forced to make a move backwards to retain my uninjured status. The Crow advanced; as expected, and stood exactly where I wanted him to.

"Boom." I mouthed, as a certain event with the same sound effect occurred, blasting the Crow to square one.

"And then the Crow stepped on a mine turtle; the end." I taunted as I neared, determined to make sure the Crow was unconscious. A flick to the forehead and no response told me that he wasn't, causing me to stand to test the door's lock.

It was locked, however, keys inside the Crow's pocket had something to say about that.

And almost biblically, the door opened to reveal one of the most perturbing sights I've seen; second to one other. Something, I wouldn't forget.

Ever.

Forever.

PERIOD.

THE THE REST OF TIME.

The door lead to an observation box; what it observed was _grotesque_. Said grotesque image was of the, _at least_, thousands of surigical-esq tables, cloths covering them, all children sized, leading off into the distance for every direction besides behind and directions of that calibre. What broke up the horrifying monotony of it all was the plain, concrete pillars every few tables down the track.

From the perspective of the box's center; stairs leading to the gruesome chamber's floor were to the right and left, with a window in front-most allowing you to see it all.

Atmosphere; eery.

Taste; bland.

All in all, I obviously would like to build a house here. The sight of the corpses was at the very least a better love story than Twilight, and the cold that chilled all it came into contact with gave the overall feel a nice Death's womanly kind of touch, if you catch my drift. Def would eat again.

Anyway, I subconsciously approached the sight, and before I even realized it I was pressed up against _frighteningly _cold glass.

_Danger. Brother. In. _

The small reminder went a long way in reminding me why I was there; and soon enough I had jumped through the window into hell and landed (Like a person in charge of a worker or organization - _Adam_) between two occupied (By the deceased) operating tables.

The sounds of desperation, IE someone screaming for help, wafted into my ears the second I touched down.

Pure instinct from recognizing the sound of my brother's voice fueled me; granting my body the speed of a demon to reach the voice's source so fast Sonic the Hedgehog was Jelly.

I came upon the source at afore mentioned speed, and found my brother shouting for the science department to 'get the fuck off of him before he shoves his hand so far up his rectum that he'll be able to practice ventriloquy on him'.

I have absolutely no clue where he got such words from, I assure you.

This time round, theatrical instinct is what compelled me, to shout "FALCON KICK" as I did just that to the person holding my little brother, Abel Millennium. As one might imagine, given our status as siblings, he bared an extreme resemblance to myself. Same dark hair, same piercing blue eyes, and same heavy weight on his heart, dominating his stance. The true, defining feature that divided us was of course the height and age difference.

He was like me, in more ways than what was given to him at birth.

"Bro!" My only remaining kin exclaimed.

"Brother!" I said, lifting him off the ground with a hug.

He tapped out at the amount of forced I used, leading me to put him down.

After kneeling to get to his height and grasping the situation again, I said, "lets get the flock outta here, Brother."

* * *

_**A RUNNING BACK TO THE DOOR LATER**_

* * *

...I barely made it past the door leading into that nightmarish, cavern, room, place, thingy? Before my brother asked a question I had been asking myself since I rescued him.

"Bro, where are we going?"

_That _stopped me in my tracks.

Truth be told, in the rush to get here under the influence of a in-my-mind voice, I hadn't thought at all about the aftermath; the consequences. I had assaulted a Crow, damaged Black Order property, assaulted another man wearing a scientist Department uniform/Lab coat, and also freed an 'test subject'. I briefly pondered if I had dug myself a pit even deeper than if I had just stayed out of it.

Then of course, I thought back to the fact that if I didn't go after my brother in time he'd be laying down with the rest of the slain Test Subjects, and all worries vanished, like that.

"Someplace other than the Black Order. I don't know where, but somewhere that the Order can't reach us is preferable. I won't let them take you, Brother, I won't. Ever. 'Till my last dying breath."

His tensing frame let me know I either struck a bad, or good, chord.

Nothing came from him as I approached the Elevator, and pressed the lift key, eyes briefly wondering over to the Crow member unconscious by the door. I expected movement, and I certainly got it.

He moved.

And so did I, dropping my Brother off so roughly I cringed at his 'ugh!'.

His whip surged forward; I dodged; he retaliated, so did I; I conjured a knife; he tried to whack it out of my grasp. He failed; I returned the favor, succeeding (He may be a Crow but you can't beat years of experience) in changing his whip into a shadow of its former self. The knife disappeared as a Jyuuken strike caught him square in the chest; knocking him and the wind in his lungs in opposite directions. He wasn't down though; they never are that quick.

"That's what she said," I mumbled upon intercepting a blow designated to incapacitate my right leg, and reversing the circumstances by twisting his arms around and kneeing him repeatedly managed to achieve my goal.

When he slumped against the wall, slowed his breathing in a way reminiscent of being unconscious, I concurred that he was in fact that.

Sighing, I turned around speaking before I had done so fully towards my Brother. "Lets get out of he-"

My pupils dilated, my body fell, my limbs became useless, and I collided with the ground immediately after a very precise blow struck me.

The last thing I saw before the butt-buddies that were unconsciousness and darkness overcame me, was the face of an Inspector.

A Leverrier.

* * *

**Author's note:**

**...  
**

**AN SUPERIOR:  
**

**So, I changed a few things, and stuff. :P To the new folk, you won't be able to tell the difference, but trust me when I say that this chapter has improved by a massive degree.  
**

**Anyway, thought I'd let you guys know that I'm working hard on the next chapter; that is at this time of revision chapter 38. I'm working on it, I swear!**

**With that said, tata, I'll see you next time~~.**


	3. Answers: Or Lack Thereof For That Matter

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

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_Chapter 3: Answers; Or lack Thereof For That Matter_

* * *

**Author's notes: Hello there readers of my D. Gray-man FanFic, I have some exciting news! I have a deviantART account, so, now I can make custom images to help along the story and stuff.**

**To clarify: I myself knew what the Earl (Unless you're just stupid then you've probably realised that the Millennium Earl is being revived inside of our main protagonist Adam Phoenix Millennium. -Gasp- I did not see that coming) looked like or had a rough estimation, but now have an image of what he looks like, or at least looks similar. (Note: To clarify again, I meant as in what Adam sees when he looks in the mirror)**

**Link below if you want to check out my Deviation:**

**Remove the spaces.**

**d r34dnoise. deviantart art/Th e-Millen nium-E arl-N oah -Form -30 74 7495 2**

**And yes, i did intentionally draw him without the top part of his head. He only has a mouth for a head. Does that encourage you enough to go check it out yet or what?**

**Edit: I wanted to give a shout out to those that reviewed and subscribed to the story:**

**Reviews: Alisia723 & animeangel2798**

**Subscribed: Alisia723 (Wow, you must like it here)**

* * *

_2 Hours later, at the infirmary….._

_The stingy air of the back room of a club, never ceases make me feel unnerved._

"_Royal straight flush." I said, proclaiming my victory._

_I took the earnings, it helped that I was only 7, no one ever took my seriously and as such they gambled high when I was around. _

_My parents were so poor that we would have to secretly gamble in order for me and my brother to get fed._

_My mother didn't even bother to ask just how I got fed, just that I did._

_Was that a sign that she was a good mother, or a bad one?_

_It was something that I had always asked myself._

_My dad worked hard in the mines, so when he came home he didn't do anything but sleep._

_I suppose you could call my life sad, but hey, at least I wasn't dead, because when you're dead, you don't come back._

_I looked at my winnings, only for them to have disappeared, along with the back room of the club._

_There were no walls in this place._

_What is this place?_

_I looked up, the sky was red, but the water was blue._

_The moon above was white, but the one below, in the reflection, was black._

_A throne, no, something much more prestigious than a simple throne, was in front of me, floating on the blue water._

_Chains were wrapped around a sleeping figure on the chair._

_Who is that?_

_I walked towards the chair, floating on the water effortlessly._

_Whatever kind of dream this is, it's definitely an odd one._

_He opened his eyes; he looked a lot like me, only 20 years older. Maybe older._

_I asked him, "Who are you?"_

_He opened his eyes more so; they were deep, deep purple pits that looked like they reached to the deepest pits of both hell and madness._

_He grinned, "Is it time?"_

"_Time for what?" I asked._

"_Is it time for my revival?" He answered._

_My eyes narrowed, "Just who are you, anyway? You're very similar to me."_

"_Is it time?"_

"_Is it time for what?"_

"_Didn't I just answer that?"_

"_Is it time for your revival? I don't know, since I don't know what you're talking about."_

"_Who are you?"_

"_I am Adam Phoenix Millennium, and you are?"_

"_My name is Adam Phoenix Millennium as well, in my current form anyway."_

"_No, I am Adam Phoenix Millennium. You're just someone tied to a chair."_

"_Why are you asking me these questions? I am you, so just ask yourself these questions and you'll get answers."_

_Stigmata appeared on his forehead, and his skin became dark._

"_Noah!" I said, terrified._

"_Yes, I am Noah. And I am you, so therefore…." He said, gesturing for me to answer._

I opened my eyes quickly and quickly gasped for air.

Beside the bed was the Inspector, _The _Inspector, whose infamy is only outshone by Inspector Leverrier's infamy.

Inspector Edward D. Leverrier, yes, his grandson was following in his footsteps.

I stared at him, "What are you doing here?"

"Because you went into restricted area, without authorisation, assaulted a crow-"

"-Assaulted a Noah Exorcist cross-breed you mean." I said harshly.

His eyes narrowed, almost as if he was scared of my knowledge and yet was asking me a question at the same time.

"How did you know about the project?" He asked, in a voice without emotion.

"A little butterfly told me." I said, mockingly.

"You still need to be reprimanded-"

"And you need to grow a pair and stop sending children as test subjects, Sir. That was my brother that I had to rescue from your people." I said, venomous.

"We have to do it, in order to win this war." He said, standing firm.

"You know, Inspector, just how low are you going to stoop to win this war? Are we any different than the Noah if we're simply inhumane to everyone else and claiming it's for a greater cause?" I asked, eyes narrowed.

His eyebrows (As massive as they were) were fidgeting like a squirrel on fire.

"We are not like them. We are actually human-"

"-If we're human then we aren't showing it." I said angrily.

He gave a glare and simply refused to talk to me, instead preferring to sit by the bed without a sound.

"What are you waiting for?" I asked.

"For the crows to get here. We can't have you deserting on us now, can we?"

"Where are you escorting me to?"

"I am not obligated to tell you that."

"Of course, what else could anyone expect of a Leverrier?" I sneered.

A knock on the door to the infirmary was heard; Leverrier responded "Come in."

It was just one crow.

"Where are the other crows?" I asked.

He smirked, "Did I say crows? I meant crow. This man, Ezio, will be your escort."

Ezio bowed towards Leverrier, you couldn't see anything behind that crow mask of his.

The most I could tell of the man was that he was young, or was just short, because he was barely a centimetre taller than me, and I was 16.

"I urge you to come with me, Adam." He said, formal.

"So is this your equivalent of a pet?" I said, failing to keep the sneering tone out of my words.

"No, this is my personal crow, Ezio. He isn't my *pet*, contrary to popular belief. He will be escorting you." He replied.

He threw a bundle of clothes at me, "Get dressed" he said and left the room with the crow just outside, watching through the glass part of the door.

I put on the clothes, nothing to magnificent, nothing dazzling, which bored me.

Usually I liked to put on extravagant suits/attire, Crimson suits and black formal wear.

I liked suits a lot, needless to say.

It was just a plain white T-shirt and Blue denim Jeans, I looked at the reflection of my face in the bathroom that was conveniently inside the Infirmary room.

I froze, a mass, yes, a mass, was behind me.

I turned my head in shock only to find him not there.

Yet, when I looked at the mirror, the fat guy was still staring right back at me.

"Nice suit." I said sarcastically.

"Why, thank you. I do my best to look nice." The visage responded.

"As do I." I responded plainly.

After I finished dressing I went with Ezio, still slightly perturbed by the vision, following him as he escorted me through the North American branch.

All the while I was lost in thought, thinking of just what my dream had been of.

"_Just ask yourself these questions and you'll get answers."_

But, who was he?

Well, he said he was me, so I suppose he might be my Innocence giving itself a mental form of some kind.

Innocence has been known to cause strange phenomenon at times, so it might be safe to presume that it was just the Innocence trying to communicate with me.

Still, I couldn't shake the feeling that I wasn't thinking of something, something, obvious, something, right in front of my face.

What did he mean by "Revival?"

Innocence can, if its previous accommodator dies, choose someone else to wield it.

Maybe that's why? Maybe the accommodator before me was stronger, so therefore it means obtaining its previous power level?

I got the same feeling, like I was missing something obvious yet again.

Why did it call me a Noah?

I drew a blank on that one.

During my heavy thinking I accidently bumped into Ezio.

Accidently being the key word.

"My apologies." I said automatically.

Years of pick-pocket training had caused that to happen.

I continued to follow him, but then a question went into my mind.

Why hasn't he bound me? Why hasn't he used something to bind my Innocence?

I shivered at the thought of what might be the answer.

That he was either arrogant, or was genuinely capable of taking me on in a direct fight.

The foremost was the most likely, or at least, that's what I _wanted _to believe anyway.

My examined my spoils, all of his spells that would bind Innocence were in my pocket, out of sight, out of mind.

I didn't know why I took it, force of habit? Sometimes when I get nervous I act just like I did before the Order.

Or, something like that, maybe I had an ulterior motive? Again, sometimes I do things that I don't even realise are pretty smart, giving the appearance that I was genius whether or not I was thinking.

It made me slightly disturbed thinking that my subconscious was thinking for me. But no matter, my subconscious had a plan, or something, so I considered it best to follow it.

I was lead into a room that was massive and cylindrical, with rows of seats lining the walls.

All in all, there was 30 people, all sitting around me, some I recognised instantly, the generals, my master, some people I knew from central when I went on a courier mission there once, but that was pretty much it in terms of who I knew.

All the other faces wore poker faces, showing no emotion, no _life. _

It was horrifying to see such a scene, people that looked nothing like any humans I've seen, sat emotionless, from a higher vantage point, just waiting to pick apart my flesh, just like a crow.

Or was that a Raven?

I was put into the centre of the room, into a cylinder shaped platform, that rose until I was at eye level with the crows/ravens staring down at me.

Standing 20 metres above the ground was making me feel queasy, nor were the stares I got helping me.

"Adam, Phoenix, Millennium. You, single headedly, have, broke into a secured zone that was restricted to those general rank Exorcist and above."

He flipped the page, my guess what that it was probably a massive report about what happened but he was skimming over it, I never understood why the crows would make such massive reports if all anyone ever did was skim it.

His glasses made the fat on the side of his head overlap it slightly, I swear, the man's head looked like it was made of putty.

He also had a receding hair-line.

But one of the other people there was gesturing towards me, not unlike the man in my dream.

"What?" I asked, confused.

He face palmed and said "This is the part when you add your counter argument, explain why you did what you did, or add defence against it by saying that it wasn't you that did this, even though we have overwhelming evidence that you did but, still."

"Oh, uh, right. Um, I had to help my brother because he was being kidnapped." I said.

"He was being recruited-"

"Forcibly recruited." I interrupted, my voice was venomous.

"Order in the court!" The man that's face looked like putty swung a hammer and hit the wooden (Note: It turns out it was made of mahogany- _Adam_) desk.

At that, I realised what this must be, it was a trial.

I gulped. A trial? But why? If they have "Overwhelming evidence" then why even bother? Was this an intimidation tactic? Get me thinking that I have a spark of hope, only to crush it?

I didn't feel afraid though, I didn't know why however, it just felt as though I was just waiting, waiting for the right opportunity to strike.

"As I was saying, he was being recruited into the X-orcist program, not kidnapped, therefore you have no grounds to make such an accusation." He said calmly, he also smirked.

I wonder, did he enjoy watching me suffer? Was that a personal taste of his? Did he like to watch the light go out in people's eyes as all hope is lost?

"So after damaging the property of not only an elevator hatch but your brothers own room door!" He scoffed, "Hey can you proclaim that what you do is for your brother if you so happily destroyed his door?"

There it was again, that glint in his eyes, like he was savouring the moment. Was that man a sadist?

Something about him seemed familiar, like I knew him from somewhere.

"I myself do everything for my Niece and you don't see me destroying her door."

Again, a glint in his eyes, he _was _enjoying this.

He looked up at the ceiling and said, "Ahhh, my dear sweet Rhode."

My heart sank.

Rhode, Rhode, I knew name.

Rhode Kamelot.

"You mean Rhode Kamelot!" I said before I could stop myself.

He glared at me, eyes wide with shock, but instead of a glint, in his eyes was a question, "How did you know?"

"No-no, I mean Road Marian, she's my Niece, on my wife's side." He stuttered.

It was momentarily, but I swear that I saw, gold, in his eyes.

_It's because he's a Noah, just like you._

What? What was that?

_I am not an *it*. I am you, so therefore you can call me you, or to keep things from getting too confusing, Millennium. _The voice at the back of my head said.

Alright then, Millennium, what do you mean that he's a Noah?

_I mean what I said, that man is a Noah, Shirley. That's why he feels familiar to you, because you know him from my memories. It is also why you know his Niece's name, Rhode Kamelot, because you also remember her from my memories._

And by your memories you mean-?

I could practically hear the face-palm that came from inside my own mind.

_I, am you. I, am a Noah. So, therefore….?_

Are you suggesting that I'm a Noah?

_Yes! The idiot finally gets it! Congratulations! You're finally not acting like an idiot. We should throw a birthday party in celebration of the first intelligent thought of your life!_

Shut up.

_Make me._

Great, I have man/child hybrid voice in my mind, faaaaaan-tastic.

_Who're you calling a child, boy?_

Who're you calling a boy, old man?

_Who're you calling an old man, child?_

One of the other people looked at him suspiciously; I think they were probably either the judge the jury, or both.

"I thought your wife's maiden name was Auditor?" He looked at the putty faced man with one eyebrow slowly being raised.

"Are you having an affair?" One of the men farther down the deck yelled out.

"Yeah! Are ya?" Another one bellowed.

Soon it was pretty much a riot, Shirley versus 29 other gentlemen that were determined to beat him for dishonouring his wife by having an affair.

I anime sweat dropped, "They uh, are really going at it. And this is over the honour of a woman…?"

_That's right. But that's only based upon your knowledge of the situation; they could secretly be beating each-other as revenge for some long forgotten grudge for all you know._

Riiiiiiight, I'll keep that your-knowledge-is-as-extensive-of-the-situation-as-mine in mind.

10 minutes later though, it was resolved, with Shirley beating the lot of them.

I didn't really get a good look at him previously, but now that he was on top of a mound of I-can-only-presume-unconscious people I managed to get a full image of the man.

He wasn't lean, or skinny, by any means, in fact, if anything he looked like he was wearing a fat suit.

He had rather pale skin, and grease stains on his suit that I could only guess were from the many-a-night take-away's (Note: I didn't realise that they were actually nose bleed stains until afterwards – _Adam_).

He looked weathered, as if he had recently lost his family or something, like someone grieving.

If he's a Noah,_ if_, then his grief could be explained by the fact that the twins (Jasdero and Devit or something like that) were recently assassinated by that brutish British bastard Marian Bellwood.

That fish and chips fellow had managed to beat someone that had almost killed me last time I went on a mission.

The mission was to collect a piece of Innocence and destroy an Akuma hive in Italy.

Akuma hives are hospitals that care for dying patients, we had to eliminate all Akuma in the area and find the Innocence.

It didn't go well, from the second we found the Broker behind it, I could barely contain my rage; I almost lost control of myself that day.

He had turned this woman, who was barely thirty into an Akuma and yet had the gall to actually say "Why shouldn't I take advantage of my situation?"

Then those smug teenagers almost managed to get me; I only escaped because I managed to put them in Cremation Coffin.

Also, it was a *we* on that mission, little miss sunshine Kristen Beige went with me as well, she managed to beat them back though whilst I was still struggling to get to the nearest hospital.

Afterwards, I couldn't show my face around her for a week. I wouldn't hear the end of it from her how I was "Crawling on all fours and (She should be impressed, they broke my right arm, several ribs and had burnt the flesh off of half my left arm with that "Red Bomb" bullet of theirs) crying my eyes out".

I wasn't crying though, my steam from my wounds was just getting in my eyes.

Admittedly though, I couldn't beat them not because I was weak, but because my Innocence was too powerful for me too control.

If I HAD used my ultimate attack, "Cremation Coffin: Mass Grave" which has an effective radius of several kilometres I would have levelled the town.

Strangely, I felt somewhat disturbed that Shirley's face was that pudgy.

_It's because that's my emotions your feeling._

So, it's disturbing because…..?

_Because last time I saw him was when he was a minster of a country, I didn't know he'd get that fat._

He once was a minister…?

_Yes, a long time. Back when I was alive._

Just how long ago are we talking?

_100 Years give or take a decade._

I stared quizzically at Shirley, he didn't, uh, look his age.

_It's because Noah's don't physically age. I would have been dead a long, long time ago if I aged._

Wait, just how old are you then? And whilst on the subject, what's your REAL name?

_I was known as the Earl of the Millennium, you figure it out. But you can simply call me Baron, since you're my servant._

You're the Millennium Earl? Yeah, now tell me the one about how I can fly. And I don't serve anyone, old man.

_I AM the Millennium Earl, but it's your choice about whether or not you want to believe me. And yes, you DO already serve someone, you have a leash around your neck right now, even if you don't realise it._

Then I choose to not believe you. Simple. Just who do I serve, even if I don't realise it, as you said?

_Your choice to be wrong._

You didn't answer my question-

"I HAVE COME TO A DECISION!" Shirley shouted.

"Oh god my EARS!" I yelled right back at him.

He merely glared at me, "You, Adam Phoenix Millennium will have to become the test subject for the time travelling device. You will either, be sent so far back in time that we will only find your fossils, it won't work or you'll die. It sounds like a most appropriate punishment to me." He said smugly. "You live, you're pardoned, you die, then that means you just die, if you get sent back in time so far that we only find your fossils then well that just means we have data for the next test. But…" He put an emphasis on but.

"But what?" I asked, fearing for my life.

Being the Science Departments lab rat. Considering the crazies there that make abominations (Including a certain vitamin that caused a mock Zombie apocalypse 100 hundred years ago, amoung other monstrous creations) for breakfast that would be a death sentence.

"But, if you get sent to the past, to the correct time-line, then you are to carry on the mission given to you beforehand to the letter. Is that understood?" He said, pointing at me.

"I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna get mauled by some chimera thingy from Full Metal Alchemist that some crazy at the science department made and I'm gonna di-"I was interrupted by Sheryl. "Sorry, could you repeat that, Sir?" I asked, giving a poker face.

"I said that if you get sent to the correct time-line, then you are to carry on the mission to the letter. Is that understood?" He repeated.

"Y-yes sir, crystal clear." I stuttered.

_Oh my~. It seems that you might meet the rest of the family after all; I only wish that it was under more pleasant circumstances~._

Shut it, that's only if we make it alive. And who do you mean by "The rest of the family" anyway?

_Why, me and the other Noah of course._

Will you give it a rest already? I know you're not the Millennium Earl, there's no way you could be.

_Just what is so impossible about me being the Millennium Earl?_

The Millennium hasn't chosen a host for his revival in a hundred years, why me, when I, an Exorcist, have come into contact with my master many times, who is many times stronger than me might I add. Why?

_Why~?_

Yes, why?

_Why~? Because, I did not choose who I would be resurrected as. The 14th is the only one who gets to choose who his host is._

Oh. That explains a lot. If so, then why not kill me and just wait until another host is chosen for you then?

_Simple, it's because I see myself in you. You had, no, have the same eyes as me, filled with the burning desire to destroy all in a glorious climax of everything! You are theatrical, you have a cynical outlook on everything, you have wit, I dare say that you are the human equivalent of me if I ever had one._

What would you know of my hatred?

_Because I am you._

* * *

**Author's notes: It appears young Adam harbours distaste for humanity on a level akin to the Earl. How interesting.**

**What will happen on the next instalment of D. Gray-man: The New Black World Order!**

**Will Adam go back in time to meet Allen?**

**Just what is his official mission!**

**Just what is his un-official mission? (The mission of what he wants to do when he goes to the past!)**

**And just what is the nefarious Millennium count plotting?**

**This all will be answered (Sort of) on THE NEXT INSTALLMENT OF D. GRAY-MAN Z.**

**Adam: Oh no, you did NOT just make a Dragon-Ball Z reference!**

**Me: *Goes super saiyan* Hey, it came with the new poster I got of Goku going super saiyan.**

**Adam: We'll see just how well that head of hair of yours stands up to the power of a Phoenix!**

**Me: *Cracks neck and drops training weights* Bring it on.**


	4. Thanks to the Time Warp Again

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

* * *

_Chapter 4: Thanks To The Time Warp Again_

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**Author's notes: Nothing much to say about this chapter, just that I enjoyed writing it because now (In the next chapter that is) we get some Allen and other main characters action! Yay!**

**Disclaimer: I own D. Gray - man about as much as Adam owns the money in his wallet.**

**Adam: Hey! I worked hard to pick-pocket that money!**

**Me: Cheater.**

**Adam: Kiss my ass!**

**Me: ...Hacker.**

**Adam: Panting and sweating as you run through my hallways, how could you ever hope to stand a chance against a perfect, immortal machine?**

**Me: You did not just make a System Shock reference!**

**Adam: *Grins* How does it feel to be on the receiving end?**

**Me: *Grins***

**Adam: What are you grinning at?**

**Me: That's what she said :)**

* * *

"_You have a leash around your neck right now, even if you don't realise it."_

I was worried at the implications of what the visage in my mind had said.

Just what did the mysterious voice calling itself "The Millennium Earl" mean by that statement?

Is it speaking of my service to the Black Order?

_No no no, nothing so drab. I was speaking metaphorically, not in the actuality that you are nothing more than a dog of the Order._

Thanks for the information, wiseass.

_Any time._

I had gotten used the constant bickering between me and the voice, it had become part of my daily routine even.

Wake up, get yelled at until to get my best looking suit only to wear my Exorcist coat, get breakfast, get yelled at for my choice in cuisine, get a mission from the branch head (Which due to the fact that I wasn't allowed to leave the order merely transferring documents between places), get yelled at (Again) for being a dog of the Black Order, get back home, get yelled at some more for thinking that the Order was my home, go to bed only for the voice to suddenly flare up and keep me awake 'till 3 in the god damn morning listening to it rant on and on and on about how I should "Join up with the other Noah's".

Needless to say, I had contemplated suicide already.

But it had given me food for thought about my situation, I, was a test subject for the Order, to be used for testing calibrations and the like.

I was also an Exorcist, fulfilling my duty to serve the Black Order, hand chosen by "God" to use Innocence.

I was also (Supposedly anyway) host to the worst threat in all of the Black Orders history: The Millennium Earl.

I still don't believe that you're the Millennium Earl.

_I can prove it to you. If you let me take over your body, which I can assure you that I will give it back, I can conjure up some Dark Matter and blow this place to smithereens. Come on, I know you want to._

No, if you are in fact the Millennium Earl then who's to say that you won't double cross me?

_I am a man of my word. You can trust me._

That's circular logic and you know it. I need to trust that you are trustworthy? Please, a 5 year old could come up with a better reason. And whilst on the topic of discussion, can you please elaborate on just what you meant by saying I had a leash around my neck?

_It's your choice to be wrong._

Now you're avoiding the question again, just what did you mean by saying I had a leash-

"HEY! TEST SUBJECT! STEP THROUGH THE PORTAL NOW!" The man with the megaphone said.

The man with the megaphone was known as "Clarke Stark" since his first name was Clarke and he liked Iron Man a whole lot.

Although, there was nothing heroic about how he was telling me to step inside of the portal that had a 75% chance of killing me.

He had glasses that looked as if they could fall off at any second given just how close they were to the edge of his nose; his hair was in a ponytail that almost made him look like some kind of hipster.

He was of average height, about 6 "2, maybe 6 "3-ish?

The most striking part though was the almost Elvis style haircut, and his eyes that had an unnatural amount of discolouration, (He had next to no colour in his eyes, and the colour that WAS there was pure grey) almost as if someone had cleaned his iris's with bleach.

"YEAH YEAH, I'M WORKING ON IT JACKASS!" I yelled back.

"Here goes nothing." I mumbled to myself.

I stepped foot first into the portal, at first, when I had come to an open clearing with grass as far as the eyes could see I thought that I might be Europe instead of America.

I stepped back through head first and let him know, "Yeah, think it's probably Europe given the way the place looks, the grass goes in every direction and it has a nice spring breeze in there."

"Alright, let's see here. The machine says that it should be Europe, in 1899, the day the Boxer rebellion began." Elvis said. (I've took to nick-naming people as a way of calming myself down. Why? By the time I've typed this report, I've met 13 different artificially created species of fish that made me throw up just by looking at it, and yet the science department just ate them for lunch - _Adam_)

I peeked back through, it was still the same place, same breeze, it was, relaxing, to say the least.

It practically beckoned me to go through, but I refrained, as they said that they didn't know just how dangerous it would be to go back to the past fully, hence why I only poked one or two limbs through the portal at a time.

"Step out of the portal please, we have to calibrate it so that it goes back in time to the Era of the first Black Order" Elvis said, almost yelling at me with a megaphone.

I stepped back out and took a good long look at what could very easily have killed so few moments ago.

It was circular; it looked very, very similar to a Stargate from the show Stargate, and had strange markings along the rims of it as well. (Note: I found out later that the markings were actually drawn on for effect, not for anything practical – _Adam_)

"Alright, just when are we talking about? As in during the very beginning of its formation, or sometime around the last few days before its destruction?" I asked.

"It is…during the years before Allen Walker joined the Order." He responded.

"Just how many years prior do you mean?" I asked.

"Let's see… It says here… Now add this and that, subtract this… Ahah! It says here, according to my calculations, approximately 3.2 years before he was born."

"3.2 Years? Alright, I'll just head on through now."

I poked my head in, "Please try poking more than just your head in now, Test Subject." He said plainly.

The place looked like London, I was in (Or rather, the portal was) a back alley. It was surprisingly empty.

I tried my left arm, "Good, good, now try your Innocence hand."

I nodded and poked my other arm in through, no problems.

"Interesting, every single time we tested it with other Innocence Accommodators they reported massive pain in whatever part of their body they held the Innocence in, even Equipment type accommodators, and their Innocence immediately started breaking down back into its natural form of a cube."

I looked at my hand, what made my Innocence so special?

"I'll report these findings to Inspector then" He said the words I had dreaded to hear, because now, came the cleaning.

They stripped me down and used a high-power hose to remove any radiation that might have leaked onto me, along with any diseases I might have contracted; I was put into a highly comatose state for days on end whilst they monitored my brain activity along with my cognitive function.

It was horrible.

This happened every time I had a testing session with Elvis.

Well, at least the Nurses were good enough eye candy.

The door to the room opened; there stood Shirley, the overweight judge from earlier.

Oh, didn't expect him to the one to escort me to the "Cleaning" room, albeit the man's a sadist so maybe he wanted to watch me suffer?

I noticed outside the bodies of the guards, the Noah Exorcist cross-breeds, laying on unconscious outside the door.

Something wasn't right, the air was disturbingly cold; more so than what they had to keep the room at in order to prevent the time-travelling device from overloading and going into a nuclear meltdown that would (Apparently) destroy the entire country of America.

The folds of flat of the man simply fell to the floor, I looked at the excess skin in awe, as it turns out _he was _wearing a fat he was wearing putty on his face that simply dropped off.

He kneeled before me, "Lord, have you, returned?"

What?

"Yes, I have, although not fully. You have been a good Noah for following me all those years, Sheryl." My mouth moved although I did not wish it to.

"Lord! It truly is a pleasure to see you again after all these years." He said, tears streaming done his face.

"Likewise, Sheryl." My mouth said.

He hugged me like I was his last bastion for survival, nearly choking me in the process.

Tears came down my face as well, but I couldn't control my own movements as I desperately wanted this man to stop hugging me so tightly for fear that I might black out at this rate.

Still, why couldn't I move?

_Because right now I am the one controlling you, my dear servant._

Oh, the voice in my head claiming to be the Millennium Earl. So how are you doing? I thought sarcastically.

Shirley was crying on my shoulder, "There there, there there, just let it alllll out Sheryl, I had missed you too."

_I am doing well, thank you very much, servant._

Will you stop with that "servant" crap? I'm not anyone's slave.

_You, an Exorcist, saying that you aren't a slave to anyone is of such a great irony that I can't help but grin wider than ever before._

I take it that's some kind of high-class way of insulting me?

_Yes, more or less._

At least you're honest. Anyway, if you are in control of me right now, then would you kindly get this man to stop crying on me?

_No. He's family. He's still in mourning, and so am I. Poor Jasdero and Devit, they never even got to kill a single Exorcist their whole life._

Yeah yeah whatever, you can mourn all you want some other time, but can you please get this man OFF OF ME.

_No need to be so harsh, servant._

I was practically fuming at that last statement.

"Sheryl, Sheryl, I can understand your grief as much as any other Noah but can you please stop crying on my coat? I need my host to at least look presentable." The-voice-inside-my-head-that-was-using-my-mouth-to-speak said. (Geez, that's a mouthful, I might as well as call him Millennium from now on)

"O-o-of course, m-my lord." He said, politely apologising as well.

He put my hand on Shirley's shoulder, "Shirley, I want you to do something. I want you to continue what you were doing, going undercover at the Black Order that is. Wait until I tell you it's time, and then, we'll strike."

He had an abnormally large grin that, if I didn't know any better would have sworn was from ear to ear.

"Yes, my lord." He bowed once more, put the fat suit back on and closed the door to leave.

_There, you can move to your heart's content again, how 'bout that?_

Just what are you plotting, Millennium?

_Nothing really, just a grand opening for my revival, that's all._

That is assuming you're the REAL Millennium Earl.

_Do I have to go over this again? Because I can explain it to you as many times as I need to until you remember._

That almost sounded like a threat, Millennium.

_If you can hear my tone of voice that only means that you're now one-step closer to becoming my puppet completely._

And you still haven't answered my questions. One, what are you planning exactly? Two, just what did you mean that I have a leash around my neck?

…_.._

You're not answering me.

_And why should I tell you anything at all?_

Because, if you don't, then so help me god I will slit my own throat.

_You would never leave your brother behind._

Would I, Millennium? I thought in the most sinister tone possible.

_No. You would never leave your brother behind, that much I can say with a certainty._

I merely stayed silent, hoping that what I was trying to do was working.

_So it's the silent treatment, eh?_

I swear I could detect the slightest hint of worry in his voice.

I raised my right hand to my throat and invoked my Innocence.

You better start answering. Now. I thought in the most demanding voice possible.

…_.._

…_.._

_No._

What? What do you mean no?

_I meant that I'm not going to answer your questions._

I face-palmed, this isn't going anywhere, fast.

Shortly afterwards however, Elvis came back, along with The Inspector.

"Adam. I am giving you a mission that is of the utmost importance, it could in fact win us this war, if it succeeds." He paused to gather his breath. "Adam, you are travel back to the months prior to Allen Walker is born, find Mana Walker, observe him until he find meets Allen, follow around Allen Walker after that until Allen turns Mana into an Akuma, then follow Allen around on his apprenticeship with Cross Marian until he gets to the Order. After that, just follow him around, sending weekly reports back of course about all your observations from observing Allen and onwards from there. And then finally, when Allen turns into the 14th and defeats the Millennium Earl, you are to then execute him on the spot".

I stood there, staring, was he serious?

"Are you actually serious?" I said, with my face contorted in confusion.

_I can't actually believe the fool is going to attempt this. You're weak! There's not a snowballs chance in hell that you'd defeat the 14th!_

I gulped, realising what this must mean.

All my options seemed to result in certain death, besides if it simply didn't work, but from the tests it seemed to work perfectly fine.

They were executing me without a proper trial.

"You, you can't do this! Inspector! You can't just, just, execute me like this! Inspector! I swear if you lay a finger on my brother though, I will rip you apart! I swear it!" I said, furious.

He smirked, "I'd like to see you try and kill me," He paused before saying the next part. "Noah." He added.

I froze, how did he know? No wait, I'm not a Noah. I simply can't, because, if I'm a Noah, that means that my brother will hate me, and I can't bear to see those eyes look at me with hate ever again.

_The first stage of coping with a traumatic experience is denial, you know._

Shut up Millennium, you're not helping.

_You're telling yourself to shut up, you DO realise this, right? Hopefully? Please tell me you're not an idiot._

And you do realise that you just asked yourself if you're stupid? Two can play this game, Millennium.

_Touché._

Oh it's on; it's on like Donkey Kong.

I was kicked into the portal, out on the dirty streets of London back in the 19th century.

"And don't come back here, this portal will open once a week, at precisely midnight every Sunday, you will hand your reports to Ezio who will be waiting at this location for a period of no longer than 1 day after the portal opens. Do not miss out on one report or I will execute you, Noah." And just like that the Inspector closed the portal, leaving behind a note and massive amount of reading material.

I opened the letter,

_Dear Noah, _I cringed, I wish he would stop addressing as a Noah. I'm still an Exorcist.

_These piles of reports are copies of the reports that the Bookman, Lavi, had made back during the Era of the first Black Order. These indicate exactly what happened in every scenario that he is involved in, so make sure that what happens in the reports actually does happen, or else the butterfly effect could very well cause you to never exist in the first place, among other catastrophes._

I sweat dropped a little, "No pressure." I mumbled.

I took the pile of reports only to realise something; the bastard hadn't left me enough money to get a room for at least the night.

My stomach growled at me, alright, time to resort to my ordinary money gathering techniques.

I cracked my neck, pausing dramatically.

Time, to go fishing for some money.

_3 Hours later._

As it turns out, there was a club within spitting distance of where the portal was. Using my master level abilities at poker I had won enough to practically pay for next month. Not to mention the pick pocketing, it turns out that people are harder to pick pocket back in these times than in modern day, but hey, I relished the challenge.

Of course, given my Parasite type Innocence, I ended up having to settle with the cheapest possible room for the night.

It was old and rickety, but nor did I care, as tomorrow, I was going to begin my search for Mana Walker, so i most likely wouldn't even go to the same part of town twice.

I wish the inspector had given me a photo of Mana or something, that way I'd be able to find him by asking around, but oh well, I took a swig from the beer bottle, tonight I was going to enjoy myself, as I knew I could at least try to have fun. Besides, what are the chances that me coning someone out of money was going to amount to anything problematic?

It's not like paying a guy a fiver was going to prevent me from being born, was it? Ah to hell with it, I didn't care; I was too drunk to care anyway.

I fell face first onto the bed and passed out.

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**Author's notes: Man is Adam going to have a hangover when he wakes up. I actually got the idea for a scene of Adam drinking and such from another FanFic, known as 'When the Mirror Lies'. It actually is my favourite FanFic on this site so far for no real particular reason.**

**I've been considering writing some other FanFics at the same time, that way when I don't feel like writing one story I can write another instead.**

**So, far the ideas are a RE crossover (Maybe just a simple RE story in of itself about someone else that survived the Raccoon City outbreak, but sadly died when the nuke demolished the city. Possibly) and a Black Butler 'What if X OC was introduced' story.**

**And don't worry about my Highschool DxD story for those that were waiting for it, I actually am using my time to think of the plot and a way of making the first chapter nice and readable, as so far I've read it and scraped every version of the first chapter because the plot was boring.**

**Also, I'm sad to say it but the gravy train of my story is actually being slowed down, I'm only going to have a bar minimum of one per week. Released on Saturday or possibly Sunday. (Note: I say ****bar minimum**** because I mean that there's a chance that I could release more than one chapter a week. But don't get your hopes up, I usually spend my afternoon reading FanFics so it is entirely possible that I'd forget about it)**

**Something else that I wanted to add: Adam's personality is still as the Earl described, he is in fact cynical, I just haven't put him in a situation where it truly shines, nor have I put him in a situation which truly reflects his hatred towards humanity. I am however going to put him in those kinds of situations, so don't fret about having to wait, the next one comes out this week, Sunday at the latest.**

**Edit: I had to make some changes to the story when I realised the Nea was killed 35 years prior to Allen being born. Woooops. It just some minor changes over-all, but it means revising a bit of what I've already written. By the way, I hope you realise that the last part is as it is because Adam is drunk. He doesn't sound like that unless he's drunk.**

**New AN: Again, I've done this. And again, this is just a error skim, so there probably is still an error or twelve in this.**


	5. Stop, Drop Your Friend

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

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_Chapter 5: Stop, Drop Your Friend-_

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**Author's notes: There's isn't much to say beyond "PLEASE RATE REVIEW SUBSCRIBE AND FAVOURITE PLZZZZ" *Hold down z key for 5 minutes***

**Now, with that out of the way, onto, the story...**

**Disclaimer: I've run out of internet meme ideas, I was hoping to make a gay joke, butt f*ck it, I'm going with some good old fashioned did-you-see-what-I-did-thur.**

**I do not own D. Gray-man nor will I ever.**

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_Darkness._

_Nothing but black in all directions, and yet, somehow, despite the aura that made me want to scream in fear, it was comfortable. Homely even._

_And almost as if a voice calling from the darkness, telling me to get closer, I couldn't help but walk towards the darkness, but something internally told me to stop moving, so I stayed on the gray circle that was under my feet._

_Screams of rage, screams from the foster family that had adopted me after fire, they were screaming in agony as I set the house ablaze, they came from all directions and yet none at the same time._

_Wait, no, I wasn't adopted by anyone after the fire; I was taken in by the Black Order after I killed my parents._

_Whose memories are these?_

"_Do you want me to bring him back?" The mass of black said to the small piece of white._

_The small piece of white seemed happy, and yet, I couldn't shake the feeling that this child was being misled._

"_Now, just call out to him and he'll come back to you." The black mass said._

"_MANA!" The white piece screamed._

_A human skeleton, no, not a skeleton for any human that I've see, something, worse, was there in front of the white piece._

_Akuma!_

_I tried calling to the kid to run but nothing came from me. No sound, no movement, nothing. I was helpless as the kid dug his own grave._

_His arm turned into a massive claw and attacked the Akuma, seemingly of its own accord, the last words the Akuma uttered, was, "I, love you, Allen." as it disappeared._

_Gray tears came from the white piece, the black mass simply left._

_I blinked; this wasn't the same as where I was moments ago. It was my room, at the manor._

_No, not my room, this is someone else's room, but whose?_

_Tapping was heard on the door, I was sitting on the chair and saw a woman come in, she looked beautiful, but not my type, for one, she had an aura around her that made you want to just turn the other direction, almost as if she was a serial killer._

"_I've been monitoring your progress, I need you to investigate someone for me, his name is Arystar Krory the third, he may have had contact with Cross, but even if the investigation doesn't pan out to anything kill him, just to be on the safe side. You have an unlimited amount of Level 1 Akuma at your disposal." I said, and yet I didn't._

_I wasn't speaking, and yet my lips moved._

"_Yes, Millennium Earl." The person bowed and left, respectively._

_I practically leapt out of chair as a child assaulted me by ninja leaping at my neck._

"_Play with me! I'm bored!" The child said._

_The child's tight embrace was warm and familiar, and yet I still felt unnerved being around her._

_Wait, that voice, was that…..?_

_The door closing shook me awake from my thinking._

_I blinked yet again, this time it was more akin to where I was to start with, only there was a levitating mirror and I peered into it._

_Noah, I felt my forehead, stigmata, I looked at my skin. It was a dark gray._

_I looked once more into the mirror and saw an abomination._

_It was a body that had no head, well, everything above the mouth was gone, literally, everything, eyes and all, it had sleeves and yet no arms, the coat it was wearing had no buttons and had an inverted Cross on it._

_It had a grin that went from one side of its face to the other; it terrified me and made me feel sick; I bent over to throw-up at the monstrosity._

"_What, what are you?" I managed to say in between heaving._

_The grin somehow seemed to get even wider, "Why, I am you."_

Morning rays of sunlight made a contrast against my dark skin.

It was just a nightmare.

Wait, dark skin?

I blinked and looked at it once more, it was white. My right hand however being black as it's ever been since the fire that consumed my parents' lives.

My right hand, Innocence, caused that fire.

I shook my head but then instantly regretted it.

"Ah, note to self, never shake head quickly when you have a hangover." I mumbled to no one in particular.

I got up and washed my face, my vision was a bit blurry, but that probably came from me sleeping with my arms over my eyes.

I looked at the mirror, me, I'm still here, still alive, despite the what-I-thought-was-going-to-be-the-death-of-me mission I was handed as my execution without proper trial.

Well, I have 16 years or so to live, better make it count.

Actually, as an Exorcist, I always thought I was going to die young, never thought I genuinely WOULD but, still.

I creak caught my attention as I turned quickly towards the noise, it was the innkeeper. Strange, he seemed, out of it, like someone had roughed him up a bit.

"You ok?" I asked instinctively.

I invoked my Innocence, just in case.

"Y-yeah, I'm just peachy. Now, listen kid, this man, CLAIMS to be your father and says that he wants you downstairs now." The Innkeeper said.

I went downstairs, keeping a pair of eyes on the back of my head on the Innkeeper, not entirely trusting him.

The man was tall, bulkily built, I didn't know him but something about him seemed familiar.

"Ah! Son, you're here, now come with me." He reached his hand out towards me, speaking with a fatherly voice.

His eyes quickly darted towards the Innkeeper, but before I could react I turned around to see the Innkeeper hit me with a bar stool.

Out of the corner of my eye as I fell to the floor I saw the Akuma rise out of the Innkeeper, and the man claiming to be my father turn into one as well.

"You're right! Exorcists this young are really stupid! "Oh, hello, this man claims to be your father, would you come downstairs with me?"" The Akuma-that-rose-out-of-the-carcass-of-the-Innkeeper said.

He was a level 2.

"Yes, but what could you expect of a level 3?" The-Akuma-that-rose-from-the-man-that-pretended-to-be-my-father said.

A level 3? Is that all? I could easily fight one opponent, hell, probably could beat a level 4 in a fight if it was alone, but my problem stems from the fact that there is a level 2 here as well.

With my flame conjuration I could easily create a Cremation Coffin and crush him, but I can't trap the level 2 inside so easily.

My Innocence still hated me, so I could only refine my power to a very, _very_ minimal degree. Either I destroyed the block or one Akuma.

Looks like I'll have with an experimental-yet-damn-awesome idea I had.

"I demand payment for my ideas; you owe me one Exorcist flambé!" He held out his hands a roaring flame.

It was purple, huh, "Dark Matter Flames", that was new.

Looks like it was a battle between to fire based attackers, only mine was far more awesome.

The level 2 stared in awe; at least, I think it was awe, considering the guy looked like he was the offspring of a chicken a dog I couldn't tell.

"Oh no! I was the one that knocked him unconscious! I should be the one to kill him!" The level 2 retorted.

"No. I am a level 3; I should get to kill him. Plus I was the one that came up with the plan." The level 3 sneered.

I glared at what appeared to be a scissors paper rock game between two Akuma.

Er, what? Was all I could think.

"Ha-ha! Rock trumps paper!" The level 2 yelled triumphant.

"No, stupid, paper beats rock! Paper wraps around rock and suffocates it! Because rocks need oxygen! My Earl, you're as stupid that as that Exorcist over there." He said pointing at me.

"Innocence, Invoke! Level 2 unlock! Flames of rage!" I yelled as I got up.

Torrents of flames were thrown between me and him; his was a bright yet sinister purple and mine an angry red.

"Die, Exorcist!" The Level 3 shouted.

"Like-wise!" I shouted back.

I was concentrating, not on the fight but on trying to build something complex out of my flames.

See, I had the idea during the time I was still a test subject for the time-travelling device. I thought that since I had the ability to conjure up anything physical out of flame that I might want to try and make a gun with it.

This was the test run, the first time I tried this out.

It was floating in the air, staying there because I was hoping neither would notice until it was ready.

Bright purple flames erupted over the counter I had taken cover behind, I blind FIRED (Eh eh, geddit?) back at the Akuma with my flames of rage.

It was fast and flame-urious (Geddit?) (**New AN: Please don't tell I sound like that, and my god I was so corny**), the Akuma scrambling away from my shots and I was doing vice versa against his shots.

He had singed a few hairs off of my hair, I wasn't sure what happened to the level 2 though, but was thankful it had kept out of this so far-

"This is the end of the line Exorcist-"The level 2 had snuck up behind me, only to be rudely interrupted by my newly formed gun and me testing firing it.

It felt nice in my hands, feeling _just _right, like I intended it to be.

"Get a load of this!" I yelled firing furiously at the Akuma with my gun in hand.

It was flailing around humorously as it fell to the floor, badly damaged from all the bullet holes in its chest.

Of course though, creating such a powerful piece of equipment took a lot out of me, and firing off the very last bastions of my energy reserves didn't help either, I coughed up blood but stood strong to finish off the Akuma.

I put my boot on its neck and put the gun to its head, the butterfly effect? Who gives a rat's ass? I need to survive first and worry about the consequences later. All for my brother.

I fired one last bullet into its skull and it lay still, that was until it exploded and blew me out the window.

"Forgot, that, they, explode." I said to myself, smiling lightly.

I layed on the ground, I was pretty sure I was bleeding internally from a few fractured ribs and such. I attempted to get up only be met with searing pain and coughing up more blood. Yep, internal bleeding.

I looked at my chest, as I had a sneaking suspicion and was proven correct, there WERE ribs poking out of my chest.

Looking to my left, I saw a carriage coming my way, great, I was going to get run over as well?

It's a good thing that my Exorcist coat was in ruins, as anyone that knew of the Black Order was going to realise that I wasn't wearing the correct uniform.

The carriage ground to halt, making several "Nah-ing" sounds as it went.

A prestigious woman leapt out of the carriage, along with a man that I also faintly knew.

"Oh my dear lordy! He's hurt badly! Someone, someone please get a doctor!" She said with what I noticed was a dandy accent.

The man had red-hair, it flowed down to his shoulder, at least, I think it did, it might have been either the concussion or the fact I was bleeding out but he appeared to have a white mask on the left side of his face.

A gun made its home in a holster around his waist.

Gold trimming lining his Exorcist coat.

A general? But general who?

"Cross! Cross! Please my darling, get this poor poor man to a doctor, he needs help!" The prestigious woman, who didn't even know me, was trying to save my life.

I felt my faith in humanity grew a smidge.

"Yeah alright Kristine, no need to shout." He said, mumbling his words.

He sounded disturbingly drunk for some reason.

"I'll take him with me back to the Black Order, as he appears to also be an Exorcist, given his outfit." He said, I could only guess gesturing to me.

The blackness over took my eyes and as my ears began to rang.

I opened my eyes and blinked quickly as the light shone into my retinas burned a little.

I attempted to get up only to be met with stiff resistance.

"Don't get up to quickly, your ribs punctured your lungs and your chest. You're lucky you survived, if it wasn't for that Innocence you would have toast." The haphazardly dressed general said.

Cross? General Cross was sitting beside my bed?

I blinked unconsciously, taking in the scene around me.

I was in a hospital. That much is true, at least, but it wasn't one that I recognised, but then again it was understandable. I _was _in the 19th century after all.

"Quit staring at me with that puzzled expression, kid." He said with authority.

From what I remembered of my 5 minute read through of the Mana Walker's background, literally, 5 minutes because not much was known about the man, he was supposedly protected from afar by Cross, as Cross promised Nea that he would protect him.

Which begged the question, what was he doing here with me? Why isn't he looking after Mana?

"Who are you?" I asked. I already knew the answer but it would help if I found out what his name was now since it might have changed. Butterfly effect and everything.

Plus I had to pretend to be from this Era, and not from the future, so no jokes about future technology or Anime/Manga, which sucked. Understandable, but none-the-less, it sucked.

"I am Marian Cross-"He was interrupted by me giggling like a schoolgirl.

"That's a girl's name." I said, his cheeks flashed red.

He back-handed me and start yelling so loud I swear I he was going to bite the hornets of a hat of his and eat it like a chew toy.

"LISTEN YOU LITTLE PUNK ASS BRAT! I HAD TO FUCKING CARRY YOU 50 MILES TO GET HERE TO THE FUCKING BLACK ORDER, WHICH I WOULD RATHER CUT OFF MY MOTHERFUCKING THUMB THAN BE HERE MIGHT I ADD, SO YOU BETTER START SHOWING ME SOME FUCKING RESPECT BEFORE I HIT YOU AGAIN. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?" (**New AN: Yes, Samuel L. Jackson, I do**) He said the last part slower than the rest of his rant.

"Y-y-y-yes, mister." I said out of actual fear.

Is this what Allen's training was like? Or rather, WILL be like? Having this jackass teaching you about how to fight must be like asking a bomb to do math, it's only going to end one way and he's probably not smart enough to teach you it anyway.

"-Now, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted." He glared at me with menacing, evil eyes. "I am Marian Cross, a General Exorcist working for the Black Order. But I suppose you already know what the Black Order is, since you're wearing the coat of an Exorcist. Tell me, do you remember what your name is? You seemed to have sustained a concussion and all."

Well, no point in lying, is there? They won't have any record of my name or anything like that.

"Adam. Adam Millennium at your service mister." I said extending my hand.

His cigarette along with his heart seemed to stop for a second before continuing.

"What? What did you just say?"

Uh oh, did this guy already know someone named Adam Millennium?

"Erm, Adam Phoenix Millennium is my full name." I replied. "What? You look like you've seen a ghost or something, mister." I asked.

His shock managed to drown in his poker face expression soon enough however.

"No, it's nothing." He gripped his face, hiding away his eyes for less than a second. "Anyway, I'M the one asking the questions here, now, tell me, just how you got an Exorcist uniform even though you've never been to the Black Order."

Oh crap. Lie, what's a good lie, uh, oh! I know, maybe he'll believe me. Maybe?

"I, I got this from a dead man. Or at least, I THINK it was dead man, there was no remains, just ashes or was powder or something. I didn't know it was an Exorcists coat, I swear! I don't even know what an Exorcist is, or, "The Black Order", or anything, really, so can you please, please let me go?" I tried my best to sound fearful, slightly croaking as I spoke.

He remained with an iron-wall of an expression; he shifted uncomfortably in his seat before saying "Alright. So you're a street kid, who're your parents? I can help you find them if you're lost."

"There, their names were Rebecca Millennium and Adrian Millennium. They're both dead, mister." A tear welled up in my eye that wasn't entirely false.

He took a swig from a beer bottle and breathed in his cigarette. He looked like he was contemplating.

"Do you have a relative, or someone else besides your parents, like a guardian that they told you about just in case they died that would look after you?" He asked.

Something about his eyes seemed, sullen, despaired, sad. I was almost entranced by his eyes. What was causing this man such grief asking me such things?

"N-No one that I'm aware of, mister." I said putting on my best "Innocent child" demeanour that I used when pick pocketing.

I had never thought about anyone in my family besides my brother. I had an uncle, but he had passed away 2 years ago. Or, since I'm in the past, has yet to be born for at least 60 years.

"Do you have a place to sleep tonight kid?" He asked.

I swear that tears looked as if they were going to fall out of his eyes at any moment.

"No. I've been sleeping in Inn's and used Gambling and pick-pocketing to survive so far, since my parents died, mister." I said, trying to act innocent.

"Gambling and pick-pocketing to survive huh? How'd you learn those skills kid?"

"Well, I kind of had help, some other kid helped me a few years ago and taught me the tips and tricks of the trade, or at least that's what he called it, mister."

"I apologise in advance for prying, but when did your parents die?"

"When I was 8, they, they, died, because I killed them. This, thing." I said grasping my right hand.

Time to give one hell of a performance to end all possible doubts he had about me.

"This, thing, this monster melted off the skin on my hand." That part was true, my Innocence HAD in fact melted off my hand. "And turned it black." That was also true; I had often thought of it as a pun that my hand that controlled flame was the colour of ash. "It, it set fire to my parents' house, and sometimes, when I dream, I dream of that fire, what I could have done differently to get them to survive, if I had just clasped my hand and stopped the fire that came from my hand I wouldn't have killed them." That part was false, I dream of the fire sometimes, but not of what I could have done differently, my thoughts about what I could have done differently dried up long ago. "I can still hear the screaming when I close my eyes in fact, if I listen hard enough. Mister." I spoke with a voice that I hadn't entirely falsified with sadness. That part was partially true, I used to hear the screams and accusations that I was a coward for not helping my parents, but that I simply stopped paying attention to them, so technically it isn't there anymore.

"So, you're street kid, with no living relatives, or none that you are aware of, took a coat from a corpse of an Exorcist, has no idea what an Exorcist is or the Black Order is, presumably no idea what Innocence or Akuma are, no place to sleep or go to, and hasn't the common decency to say thanks when someone saves your life." He said the last part harshly. He sighed, "I guess I have no choice. Since I found you, and you're Innocence compatible, you'll be recruited by the Black Order and be placed under my watch as my second apprentice." He gripped his forehead like saying that statement was going to be the death of him.

"Like I needed another idiot apprentice." He mumbled silently to himself.

Oh. As it turns out, the time-travelling device didn't work properly and instead sent me into period of which Allen is Cross' apprentice. Oh god, I just realised that now I was Cross' apprentice.

Being murdered by mobsters here I come.

"Yeah, looking that grim is only an understatement for what being an Exorcist is about, kid. We live a life filled with hardship, loss, and regret. But, I don't think there's a single person though that regrets becoming an Exorcist though, even me." He looked off into space, he seemed positive, like he was thinking of something happy.

"You're making it sound kinda like a living hell, mister." I said, trying to stay in character.

"A few things kid now that you're my apprentice." He said, raising his hand. "1, do not hug me, I don't care just how sad you get or depressed or how bad you're nightmares get, just, don't touch me." One of his fingers went down. "2, do not ever, ever, EVER wake me up when I'm sleeping for whatever reason. You could be dying and you still aren't allowed to wake me." He moved another one of his fingers down.

"Not meaning to be rude for interrupting you mister but, it seems to me that these things have already happened to you today." I said.

He looked at me questioningly.

"It's all in the face and clothes, mister. You've got dirt stains around waist high, kind of like if a child already hugged you, and you've got bags underneath your eyes like if someone woke you up early in the morning, mister." I said, responding to his silent question.

"You've got good deduction skills kids; it might be useful for finding Akuma. Albeit, when you're travelling with me, my other apprentice will be able to spot them. He has a curse on his eye that he got from turning his foster father into an Akuma. Go easy on him though kid; he may be a good-for-nothing apprentice idiot that is way too clingy for my liking, but his hearts in the right place. That's more than I could say for more people that run the Black Order anyway." His voice trailed off at the last part.

"3." He continued on. "Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER, ask me how to use magic. I swear to god, if I have to deal with you asking me how to use sorcery then I might just murder you in your sleep." He lowered his ring finger.

The glint in his eyes didn't make it seem like he was joking. I gulped involuntarily.

"4. Don't ever mention my drinking habits, my gambling habits or my taste in woman. If I have to deal with you being concerned about how much I smoke, or drink, or gamble, or sleep with women, on top of Allen then I'll –again- have to murder you in your sleep. You got that?'" He lowered his middle finger.

"GOT THAT?" He yelled.

"Y-y-yes I do, mister."

"5." He sighed, a sigh of relief it seemed as well. "Stop calling me "Mister" and call me "Master". Since I'm now more or less your father figure I won't tolerate disobedience, and won't refrain from laying my hands on your face if it drives the message home. While we're both beautiful people, I still will slap you is what I mean. Got that as well?"

I nodded. No need to say anything.

I realised something that made me jerk back my head a little.

"Where's your other apprentice, mist- I mean, Master?" I asked.

He looked at me with an "Oh, forgot about that thing" face that someone would get if they left behind car keys by accident.

"I believe I may have accidently abandoned him. Maybe. Hmmm, I didn't bring him here with me, sooooo, yeah, I abandoned him. Accidently."

I anime sweat dropped, "Well, I guess that takes precedent over my other questions about whatever Innocence or Akuma are. Let's go find him, then."

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**Author's Notes: Oh Cross, you absent minded swearing dumbass you. (Maybe he intended to leave Allen behind...?)**

**Just going to answer a few questions I could foresee people asking:**

**1. Q: Why does he keep saying "Mister" to Cross?**

**1. A: It's simple. He's undercover, since he's from the future he can't reveal that he is from the future for fear of what the Black Order would do to him. So, therefore, he acts out a persona, the helpless little boy. I put this here as somewhat poetic because of how it is seen by the Black Order that The 14th could have been acting out the persona of Allen and yet here's a child who IS acting out a persona, not 5 feet away.**

**2. Q: Why did Cross get so fiesty at the mention of his name being a girls name?**

**2. A: Cross was taken to the order when he was a child, so he got teased by the generals (When they were younger as well) for having a girl's name. (New AN: I forgot to mention that it didn't happen, or hasn't been disclosed yet, in the actual manga. In truth, this was something I did to add layering to pretty much everything in the series.)**

**3. Q: Why did Cross speak highly of Allen, if only a little? It seems so OOC.**

**3. A: Not entirely. The way I see it, Cross would only ever compliment someone behind their back, never saying it face to face. That is of course my take on his personality, so it might not be right... (New AN: My interpretation is only partially right, I realised shortly after writing this chapter. You see, Cross compliments Anita to her face, so that disproves my ideal immediately. Then of course, I realised that Cross wouldn't compliment anyone he doesn't relatively like in person, he'd probably say it behind their back so to speak.)**

**4. Q: If Adam never read the reports about Cross, then why does he act like he knows him?**

**4. A: Ah, you're forgetting about The Millennium Earl rootin' 'round his noggin'. Don't forget he's a Noah, and not just any Noah, THE first disciple Noah, 'The Millennium Earl'. His memories are already getting mixed with the Earls, and the Earl knows Cross personally. Adam however is too blind to see that he's slowly being taken over, maybe he'll realise in a future chapter? Eh, eh?**

**5: (This is here just in case i forget something to answer that isn't intended to a hint towards a future plot-twist)**

**Are you all pumped for next chapter of D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel! Like I am!**

**Adam: No, no one's that excited about you continuing the story. As indicated by the amount of reviews you've gotten so far, 2. 2 For crying out load!**

**Me: Thanks for reminding me Adam, Review Review and of course Review!**

**Also, I understand the ending is abrupt but hey, it's freaking 10 at night here when I'm uploading this. Another thing to note, I might be on a once every 2 day releasing schedule as so far I've been nothing but excited for the future of this story! I've already got a badass power-up in mind for our hero/anti-hero/neutral guy all rolled into one that'll make nothing short of beating Chuck Norris in a fist fight. Stay tuned for the awesomeness of the next chapter, THE CHAPTER FILLED WITH NOTHING BUT FILLER.**

**But seriously, the next chapter is during Cross' training of both Allen and Adam (Including some brotherly love possibly) and then after that Allen and Adam joining the mission/beginning of their first mission. Yes, beginning because it's 2/3 parter. **

**DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUN!**

**Edit: "Because of a misunderstanding, Adam will face grave consequences". That's my brief spoiler-free summary of what happens next. Don't forget, tomorrow is when the next chapter comes out.**


	6. With a fiery fist punch,

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

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_Chapter 6: -With a fiery fist punch-_

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**Author's notes: Hey guys, I said I was going to make one for today, so I did.**

**I wrote this one in the space of an afternoon and a half, I almost thought I wasn't going to be able to write it all at once.**

**I'd like to thank IncredibleIdiosyncrasies for adding this to his subscription, its people like you that make writing these all the worthwhile.**

**I said in the previous chapter that this was going to take place during Cross' training of Adam and Allen when I realised that Adam had left his important documents behind. You know; the ones that told him what should happen in the future?**

* * *

This wasn't good, it was horrible, even.

I was interfering in the course of history in such a way that with any given moment I could kill anyone or save anyone that shouldn't have been saved.

I was only supposed to assassinate Allen Walker, or rather; he would assassinate ME because of our power difference.

I had dug myself a hole so deep I didn't know how to get out and my brother was going to pay for it.

Since the time travelling device was off by 14 years, it meant that they think I flunked about 14 years' worth of reports.

They said I was going to be executed if I didn't send a report each week, so what where they going to do to me if I didn't send a report back for fourteen years?

I cringed at the very thought of what they would be doing to my brother. Torture? Make him scream as loudly as possible? Make him suffer a slow, painful death? Or maybe he was going to be lucky and they would just execute him by firing squad.

Whatever it was, it wasn't going to be pretty.

"You alright, kid? You're walking towards a wall." Cross said, gruff.

"Wha-"Before I could reply I felt cold brick in my face as I bounced off of the wall and onto the dirty cobblestone street.

"Ugh, ow." Was all I managed to say.

I was worrying about something I couldn't change, if they were killing my brother, then that means they were killing my brother. End of discussion.

I felt emptiness in my chest at that thought.

Cross grunted and smirked at the same time, "You sure look like a dumbass now kid. Maybe I was wrong to think that you were smart…?" He asked more than he stated.

"Yeah, Master. I sure feel like it too." I said, still maintaining my innocent persona and childish demeanour as I spoke.

His smirk dispersed, "You don't have too much backbone, do ya, kid?" He stated more than he asked this time.

"Well, I guess not Master." I said plainly.

Not to mention just what they were going to do when they found out I was travelling with Cross and Allen.

I might inadvertently be preventing myself from being born, there, that's something to ponder instead of thinking about such grim thoughts.

"We'll need to work on just how clingy you are. Lord knows just how much I hate clingy women and children." He said the last part grasping his forehead.

"Yeah, I'm too clingy, Master." I said, mock agreeing with him.

"No no no no kid, you're supposed to defend yourself when I call you pathetic. You should have said, "Hey, screw you buddy". Cussing makes people back away further than if you ask nicely, kid. It also makes people stop insulting you." He said slightly irritated. "Didn't you're parents ever teach you this?" He asked.

"Really, Master? Does that mean if I tell you to go fuck yourself you'll stop teasing me?" I said, covering up my mouth afterwards.

"Where the hell did you learn that word?" He gave me a superficial glance, intrigued but still looking bored.

"Oh, I learned that one from when my parents yelled at each other. They fought a lot." I said plainly.

"Fought about what?" He asked.

"About all sorts of things, about their situation with how my mom had to work her fingers to the bone washing clothes and my how my dad had to do back-breaking work deep in the mines." I said, a twinge of sadness that I wasn't faking, not in the slightest, came upon my face.

"He would yell at my mother, and my mother would yell at my father, telling him to go – well, you know what I mean. I don't like that word very much, I don't like the way it rolls off my tongue." I added, averting my eyes.

"I apologise if I made you think about something painful, kid. I for one also don't like using such a word, there is a certain level of etiquette that one must adhere to if you're an Exorcist." He said.

He almost sounded like my father; he spoke the same way and in the same tone as well.

"However, the lesson still stands, if you cuss at someone they go away. Or at least, most of the time anytime, some will instead stay there and beat the crap out of you." He said plainly.

"How will I know which is which?"

"You don't. You guess and hope to god that not only is he listening but they aren't violent."

I anime sweat dropped, "That sounds like a terrible way to talk to people. Why can't I tell them to stop?"

Acting like a socially retarded kid was working wonders, he was lecturing me of course, that was annoying, but I still managed to gain his trust. That was something good in my darkest hour, at least.

"It's a masculinity thing. If you ask nicely in a fight for someone to back away, their pride will stop them from backing off. If you yell curse words at them then they aren't bound by honour to stay and fight. At least, that's the short way of explaining it." He sounded morbid at the last part.

Ah, honour. My previous master (Good ol' George) told me about honour and respect and the like, teaching me about how to be a proper gentleman. I always asked how it was going to help me to become an Exorcist, but he always replied with a nonchalant grin and an "It'll teach you be a better person at least".

"Oh, ok, Master." I said.

"Having to deal with a socially ignorant kid is actually harder than I thought it'd be. I always thought it probably would be the death of me, but no, it WILL the death of me." He joked.

"O, Kay, Master?" I said slowly, asking more than I was speaking. "Also, shouldn't we be looking for Allen, Master?" I added.

"Oh." He stopped moving.

"Right. Forgot about the little rug rat." He added, mumbling.

I continued to follow him for another 10 minutes, until I was sure we were lost.

"Um, Master, are we lost?" I asked innocently.

"No, no, we're simply fanning out to look for Allen. I wonder where that little rug rat ran off to….." He looked off in the distance, head held in his right hand, thinking.

"Master, it may be rude of me to ask, but shouldn't we check where you last saw him?" I asked.

His head snapped up, and I felt an uneasy aura wash over the area.

Yep, shouldn't have mentioned the obvious.

"It's our next stop." He said in an evil voice.

I grinned inwardly, I was having fun, and yet, somewhere off in the future, they were most likely killing my brother.

Something about my happiness didn't feel right.

We continued walking past several blocks of buildings that I didn't recognise; it seemed as if we were getting even further away from where I could only presume where Allen was.

A burnt out street caked in corpses was in front of us, before even Cross could react an explosion was heard around the corner.

We both ran after it.

Out there I saw a group of people get cut to ribbons by gunfire. Akuma gunfire. Akuma were tearing up the block.

But what caught my attention more than anything else was the white haired boy running straight for us.

He collided with Cross' forearm and fell right onto the back of his head, rubbing it gingerly.

"Hey, Master, should you have hit that little boy right now?" I asked innocently.

The boy stared at me quizzically, as I did the same.

White hair.

A cursed eye.

Short.

The description fit, and Cross only confirmed my fears.

"Allen, my new smarter apprentice, my new smarter apprentice, Allen." He gestured towards him and me, me and him, respectively.

""New apprentice"? Are you replacing me?" Allen yelled worriedly.

"No, nothing that heavenly has happened. I found this kid earlier today, he is an Accommodator, just like you Allen, and since I found him, I have to keep him-"Our introduction was cut short by Akuma firing straight in front of us. It missed us by a few feet.

Cross sighed and pulled out Judgement, "I'll handle this."

I only heard one shot, and yet all 3 Akuma exploded instantly after he pulled out his gun.

Smoke and Akuma virus fumes travelled our way, giving Allen the appearance of flapping in the breeze.

Well, he was short and skinny after all.

Cross stood proud and lit a cigarette, blowing a huff of smoke not unlike the cloud floating away in the breeze then and there.

"Allen, I take it you still haven't be able to activate your Innocence of your own will yet?" Cross gave a glare that could even cause Satan to writhe uncomfortably.

"N-n-no, Master Cross." The boy looked as if he was ready to crawl out of his own skin.

"Great. For your incompetence you're to take care of Roseanne for another week and clean every inch of grim off of my room with your own blood if you have to." He said harshly.

"Yes sir, Cross sir." He replied, depressed.

"Ah! And no more complaining, if I hear you use that tone once more or complain once more I will feed you to Roseanne. You got that?" He gave a cold glare that-just-officially made Satan uncomfortable towards him.

Allen held his head in shame before a light bulb seemed to pop on in his head.

"Hey, I never caught your name. What is it?" He smiled at me.

"Uh, I'm, Adam, Adam Phoenix Millennium, at your service." I said, stretching out my hand in a vote of confidence.

He titled his head to side, similar to how a dog would wag its tail and turns its head to the side when it didn't understand what was happening.

"Millennium's an, uh, interesting last name." Allen said, scratching the back of his head.

"Yeah, I get that a lot." I said frankly.

"Allen! Adam! Look sharp, we're leaving. Allen, be nice to Adam, he's a street kid and hasn't been raised with proper manners-"

"Hey! I have manners!" I interrupted.

"-See what I mean? Anyway, Adam, be nice to Allen, he's suffered just as many hardships as you, so play nice." He spoke to both of us like we were kindergarteners.

It was actually scarier meeting him than it was to think that my brother was being tortured.

Here was the child that in a few years' time would kill me, undoubtedly, and yet he was acting nice and looked genuinely like any other child.

Minus the scar and hair, of course.

I didn't know what scared me more, the thought that this kid was going to kill me or the thought that this kid was going to become strong enough to beat the Millennium Earl in a few years' time.

He couldn't even activate his Innocence for crying out loud-

_OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SHUT UP! I HAVE HAD IT UP TO HERE OF YOUR CONSTANT COMPLAINING ABOUT THE FUTURE! JUST SHUT UP! I'M TRYING TO FREAKING SLEEP HERE!_

-I had forgotten about you. So that's what you were doing, sleeping. Explains a lot actually, like the snoring, and the wet feeling that felt like drool that I couldn't shake at the back of my head.

_I do not drool. Or snore. End of discussion._

You know, you're acting kind of like me, if I was an old fart anyway.

_Who you callin' old, child?_

Who you callin' a child, old man?

_Who you callin' old, boy?_

Wait, just realised something. If you're the Millennium Earl-

…_It took you up until now to realise that? Can somebody say 'slow'?_

Shut up. Could you answer a few questions for me about the Noah?

_Since you're my servant, I could answer a question for you. *A* Question. Choose carefully._

Alright. From what I've gathered, your memories are seeping into my own, what does that mean exactly?

_It means that in time, you'll disappear, and only your body will remain. I will take over your heart mind and soul. Or, before that, we could come to an agreement. If you end up experiencing the memory that made me create Akuma in the first place, you will most likely side with me of your own volition._

What did happen that made you want to create Akuma anyway? And disappear? Just what did you mean precisely? And what else did you mean by heart mind and soul?

_Tsk tsk tsk. I said *a* question. Nothing more, nothing less._

Let me guess, "All in good time", right?

_Yes. You're already thinking like me. You're choice to deceive instead of tell the truth has already reflected that._

I am not you.

_Yes. You are._

"Hey. Hey. Adam, you ok? You seemed to stare off into space for a second there." Allen was shaking me awake, concern lacing his words.

"Y-yeah, I'm just peachy, Allen." I said, still putting on the innocent act.

I stared at the floor, not wanting to make eye contact with the soon-to-be-murderer of me.

"Hey, it's ok to be shy when you meet new people. It happens to everyone, even me." Out of the corner of my eye I could see him smile. His voice was of genuine glee, he was happy.

This only made me even more unnerved.

We were walking back towards where Cross and Allen were staying. I guess it was also where I was staying as well.

Having to spend a year with the womaniser douchebag Marian Cross, yeah, this was going to just fan-tastic.

As we entered the room, the first thing that went through my head was the smell. The smell of sex and beer.

Then what the room looked like. It was a pig sty, clothes discarded and empty bottles of alcohol littered the whole room.

Then the female fist that profoundly decked me.

"AH! PERVERT!" She yelled at me as she stepped over me.

She ran down the hallway, away from us, leaving a very, very surprised (And embarrassed) Cross to go after her, shouting.

"Wait! Angela- No, Mary, that's it, MARY! WAIT!" Cross cried as went down the hall.

Allen put his hand out in front of my still dazed eyes.

"Um, are you okay? You look like you got hit pretty hard. That happens sometimes; when the girl Cross is sleeping with is a majorly sensitive about being looked at they attack you. At least, that's my experience with women."

I took the hand and pulled myself off of the floor.

"It's alright; I'm used to getting hit pretty hard. I used to get beat up because of my hand being permanently charred." I said rolling up the sleeve of my right arm.

The Innocence on my hand was a colourless texture-less black, with a Red Cross on the back of my hand.

He stared in awe at the arm, "It's really similar to my arm." He said extending his left arm.

It was red. Charred flesh red.

"_Is this your father?" The mortician said._

_His face was completely burnt off, I couldn't even recognise him anymore, beyond the tattoo a rose cross on his forehead._

"_Y-yes, it is." I couldn't suppress the sadness, nor could I suppress the vomit that came seconds after seeing his charred corpse._

I turned to the side to heave at the sudden flashbacks; I just couldn't look at it. I just couldn't.

"Hey Adam, are you ok?" Allen asked, genuine concern spreading through the air, like a flame.

I only heaved in response, I felt dizzy, I couldn't think straight.

I was pretty sure I passed out at that moment, as the next time I opened my eyes I was underneath bed covers, in the same room I was in in what appeared just moments ago.

"What happened?" Were all the words I could muster before the sound of my stomach blocked out everything else.

Huh, I should have figured that you'd want food by now, stomach, I thought whilst looking down.

Allen came running along with Cross, I hadn't noticed it but the sun had gone down. It was night.

"Adam! You're awake! We were, well, I was worried about you, at least." Allen said.

"Adam. As of earlier today you are my apprentice, so I expect you to act like one. That means no more throwing up on the floor in front of others. You are going to become Exorcists and wear the rose cross one day; you should learn how to act polite sooner rather than later." He said, with a slight disdain in his voice.

"Even though you are my favourite pupil, you still have to clean up the mess you left on the floor. Do it now, it's really starting to stink up the place." To emphasize this, he waved his hand in front of his face.

"Alright Master. I'll do it." I said with a groan and a pout.

Cross grinned; the torture wasn't just cleaning the stain. It was what I had to wear whilst cleaning it.

He handed me a maid's outfit, telling me to wear it whilst cleaning the stain as part of my punishment.

After putting it on, I instantly felt a part of myself die inside.

Oh right, that was probably my dignity.

One year of this? Oh lord, kill me now.

Three quarters of the way through it I heard Allen sneak into the room, he wasn't allowed inside until I had cleaned the stain as Cross suspected that Allen would help me when it was my punishment.

Cross simply didn't head inside because he didn't like the smell.

"Here, let me help you with that." Allen said with a smile.

His smile never stopped unnerving me, it was so, so, pure, and innocent, yet had a twinge of sadness to it, like the grin of a carnival mask. Creepy, and false.

"The Joker." I mumbled to myself.

"What was that?" He asked, still smiling happily as he scrubbed away the stain with me.

"It's just, I was thinking about what you reminded me of. I just realised that you remind me of the Joker card in a pack of playing cards." I said frankly.

"Oh really? Why's that?" He asked.

"I think it's just the way you smile makes you look like you're suffering internally." I blurted out.

His smile lessened, and a pained expression crossed his face. Great, I had made him cry.

But the momentary lapse in his facial expression was just that; momentary.

He regained his false smile near instantly; I decided that I shouldn't pry any further into the problem.

Besides, if I was really curious about what ails him I could just use the sheet that the Inspector gave me, explaining what had happened in the course of history-

Wait. I don't know where it is. I must have, yes; I must have accidently left it at the inn I had stayed in when I was attacked by Akuma.

I face-palmed mentally, I might as well as get a piece of paper and duct tape it to my forehead to stop myself from forgetting.

I sighed.

"What's wrong?" Allen asked.

"Oh, it's nothing; I just think I've forgotten something of mine at the inn I was in when I was attacked by these big egg shaped monsters." I said plainly.

"You were attacked by Akuma?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"What's an Akuma?" I said, playing dumb.

"An Akuma is a weapon that is born when a person that grieves is visited by the Millennium Earl. He asks them to call out the deceased person's name and when the soul comes back, it is then trapped and its suffering is harnessed to power the Akuma," He paused.

"They wear the skin of the one that grieved for the soul that is trapped inside of them, like a coat. It's, disgusting to say the least." He added.

"Gross. It sounds horrible, why would anyone ever want to do that to another living human being?" I asked, still playing dumb.

"I'm not even sure the Earl is human at this point," An all too familiar look in his eye that I had seen in countless times in myself flashed as he spoke. Rage, anger, and sadness, all mixed into one.

"But back to the inn, what did you forget?" He said, switching subjects.

"It's nothing. I can just get it something to replace it." I said.

"Well, what is it that you need to replace then?" He asked, persevering.

"It's nothing important, I can just replace it. Don't worry Allen." I said, avoiding the subject.

Allen raised an eyebrow and looked away, focusing intently on helping me clean the stain.

Unconsciously, I started humming a favourite lullaby of mine; it was something that my mother, who wasn't really as mean as I made her out to be, sang to me before I fell asleep.

Allen's face lost all colour, his hands shaking, and he glared at me.

"H-h-how, do you know that song?" He said, looking like he had seen a ghost.

"My mother always sang it to me when I was young. Why?"

"Because, that's the song I made up with Mana."

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**Author's notes: DUN DUN DUUUUUUH! Plot twist! Adam's parents appear to have a mysterious background, how interesting...**

**His father having a rose cross Tattoo is odd enough, but knowing the 14th's song, just who were they, really?**

**Anyway, rate review and subscribe! I want to also make note that I'm thinking heavily over my other stories as of late, and have a pretty good idea for a Hellsing one and a Resident Evil one.**

**The description of my Resident Evil FanFic:**

**Resident Evil: {Title still in development}: Swoon and his many misadventures**

**Swoon, a 40 year old (Ish) male with a pimpin' beard and moustache combo goes to Raccoon city for a vacation from his previous military career. Wanting to get as far away from the governments reach as possible for reasons unknown, he arrives at Raccoon city mere hours before the outbreak. After the outbreak in Raccoon city, Swoon is cast in a desperate struggle to survive and against the zombie denizens of Raccoon city and the mysterious monster known only as "Nemesis". What Swoon doesn't know though is that the situation isn't what it appears to be, and as he meets other survivors along the way he pieces together the puzzle of just why Nemesis is so intent on killing him and why it has to do with his genes. **

**Edit: Just letting everyone know that I have FINALLY gotten to the better parts of the story, enough background, now it gets interesting. Will be released later today.**


	7. And roll on top of him Sarge

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

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_Chapter 7: And Roll On Top Of Him - Sarge_

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**Author's notes: Whew, just in the nick of time. Over here, it's only thirty minutes before I go to bed. So I JUST barely managed to get this in, as I'll be asleep by the time this gets uploaded as well.**

**As always, reviews are appreciated/encouraged, subscribe to me/my stories/my story, and rate this really high PLOX.**

**Adam: Begging, just how low have you stooped Dread?**

**Me: I CAN at any point in time make you die in the story. In fact, give me a moment. *Changes script***

**Adam: Wha-What are you doing to me!**

**Me: *Cheshire grin* Just making you into a girl with an irresistible lust of people with capital letters for Pen names and FanFic writers. Namely, me. *Evil laugh***

**Me: *Snaps fingers* Now strip.**

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It was late, and dark.

It had been a few hours since the shocking revelation that my parents knew the Fourteenth's song.

It still scared me, the thought that out of all of this that I could in fact have Noah as my parents, or they were people that were someone how involved with them.

Maybe they were brokers? My mother, well, I wasn't even sure about what kind of person she was really. I still toy with the idea of how she never asked how I got the money to feed me and my brother, about what that meant.

Was she a good person? Was she a bad person? My father had a Rose Cross tattoo, so that always lead me to believe that he was a Black Order supporter, but was he really? He might even have been an Exorcist.

But then if he was an Exorcist, then why couldn't he have escaped the fire? A mere fire wouldn't have stopped any competent Exorcist. That thought scared me, the thought that there might have been people that depended on him and he was so incompetent that he couldn't protect, much less himself, or that he was simply a sleep during the fire, which seemed much more likely.

Do you die peacefully from lack of oxygen when you sleep? Or was it more painful?

My thoughts clouded my vision and my observations of the environment, if I had been paying attention I would noticed that I had actually passed where I was going.

"Hey! You!" A familiar voice said form behind me.

It was Ezio, I had gone to the portal, I needed closure, even though I know I couldn't help my brother if he was being tortured, or already, executed I HAD to know which.

I wasn't going to sleep the next few days but it would put my conscious at ease. Sort of.

"Ezio! I had been looking for you. Listen, funny story-"I was interrupted by Ezio hitting me in the side of the head.

I fell. For what seemed like days I fell, closer and closer to the cobblestone street.

I was roughly aware of arms carrying me, a feeling that felt like someone had shoulder pinned my stomach arose. I WAS being carried, over Ezio's shoulder most likely.

When I finally awoke, I was tied to a chair, with the Inspector giving a lifeless facial expression and his trademark Hitler 'stache resting firmly on his face.

"Adam. You have failed to report weekly on your activities for a period no less than 13 or so years. For every report you missed, I promised to execute you. I plan on keeping that promise." He said the last part with an almost sadistic grin.

The cold air was stale; I thought I was in a basement of some kind. Maybe it was a personal cell that they made for me?

"How strongly do you feel about your brother?" His grin widened.

I instantly ripped the bonds (Innocence and Dark Matter seals) and felt a wave of pleasure wash over me as I held the smug bastard in a one-handed choke hold.

That wasn't the only thing that overcame my skin.

"So, you're finally showing your true colours. Noah. That Stigmata and ash gray skin is the only proof I need." That bastard. He had purposely provoked me.

"I, I, I may be Noah, but at least I don't use children to fight a war." I said harshly.

His face went back into a blank expression.

"What are a few children to the entirety of the human race? The higher-ups even agree with me. They authorised me to conduct the experiments, and I was only to following orders. Orders that I agreed with might I add, but my personal feeling of what we should do doesn't cloud my judgement. Unlike yours." He paused. "Are you honestly going to turn your back on everyone else on this planet for your brother? Letting scores of people die just so that you can be happy? "

"Yes." I said without hesitation.

His face contorted into disgust, a feature that was almost always stretched across his face.

"You're even more of a Noah than I thought. Not caring about humanity, only caring about your family." He sneered.

A grin that even I must admit was creepy and foreign crept across my face.

"I'm an Exorcist. The way I feel is because of how god has treated me, so in other words, if he cares about us so much then why create a super weapon that could destroy the planet and also wants to?"

This wasn't right. This wasn't me. Sure I was misanthropic, but to actually murder 8 or so billion people? That is not the sort of thing I would do.

Sudden realisation didn't creep upon my face but instead spread my mind.

BARON! ARE YOU THE ONE MAKING ME SAY THIS!

I heard a yawning noise, and the sound of someone getting out of bed, or at least what I imagined was the sound of someone getting out of bed.

…_._

…_._

_Maybe._

Maybe?

_It means possibly, child._

Who are you calling Child, Old man?

_Who are you Old, Boy?_

Release your grip on the Inspector. Now.

_Why Adam? Your thoughts on humanity is no different from any other Noah, so why save scum like him that you hate even more than I do?_

Because, as much as I believe in my misanthropic ideals, I also have a fundamental belief that it is repugnant to force your ideals on others. If you want to destroy the world, then that's fine, but if you actually do, then I'll come find you and burn you until there is nothing but ashes left.

_My my~, such big talk for such a weak, pathetic fool. But then again, everyone was a teenager once. I also thought the same thing at one point as well, Adam. It just goes to show that you will eventually become me. With, or without your permission._

Then that means I'll gladly go to my grave, knowing I evolved as person.

_You have, an, interesting way of perceiving your eventual outcome of becoming nothing more than a hollow shell._

Thank you. I take pride in being able to see the good in everything.

_If that isn't sarcasm then I don't know what is._

I could feel my body again. The Baron had released me. I immediately dropped the Inspector, only to feel a strong pull from behind.

I turned around to see a needle being jabbed straight into my arm, a nauseous feeling washed straight over me, I felt as though I could faint.

I fell to me knees, puking out the contaminant.

Only, when I looked up I saw something that was worse than the anxiety of fearing for my brother. I saw HIM, my brother, and his cold, cold look of hatred that looked at me with disgust.

It was just like the fire again, only worse. He saw me not as something to hate, but also fear, I was beyond redemption. The small bond I had re-developed since the fire had been broken in seconds.

This must have been the Inspectors plan, make me riled up and then show me to my brother, revealing me as a Noah, and make me feel dead inside.

He had executed me, just in another way.

He killed my heart.

I closed my eyes, and let the sedatives jab me repeatedly into an almost comatose slumber.

I awoke back on the chair again; the smell of puke wasn't there anymore, it smelt more like bleach had been applied rigorously throughout the room.

The air was still stale, but the room had a different _feel_ to it, if that made any sense.

It was a lot more terrifying and claustrophobic, the walls felt as if they were closing in on me.

They might as well for all I cared. I was, dead, in my brothers eyes.

My will had been broken, the Inspector had won.

He'd broken me.

Sadness was an overwhelming and emotionally distasteful feeling, but also scary, as I felt as if I was being physically dropped into a deep, dark pit.

I had no reason to live anymore.

But my tears wouldn't come, I suspected the Millennium Earl of doing so, making sure that I at least had the decency to not cry in front of my enemy.

Yes, my enemy. I perceived the Inspector no longer as a human being, more of a careful, narcissistic predator. A thing to be destroyed.

"…Oy." I mumbled through the grogginess of the sedatives.

"Pardon?' The Inspector said.

"…Story." I mumbled, the sedatives wearing off quicker now.

"Are you begging for mercy already?" He had a wide grin. An animal. A thing that needed to be eradicated.

"Des, troy." I said, in a louder voice.

His eyebrows raised, he had heard me.

"Des, troy? Destroy? Destroy what?" He said.

My Noah features washed back over me once more, and I felt an odd sensation of red hot heat encircle my body along with a purple energy gathering at my fingertips.

I looked up with a terrifying grin that would have even given the living Millennium Earl chills.

"Destroy. You." I said through gritted teeth.

{**Arise, Majestic Phoenix!**}

Flames erupted from my hands, but they didn't go towards the Inspector, they instead made a full U-turn and flowed excessively over my body.

I was ablaze, every possible part of my covered in glowing red flames, with the Golden eyes of a Noah being the only distinguishable thing on my whole body.

"DESTROY!" I yelled with vicious intent.

Flames went in every direction; the whole room was coated in blue fire that only continued to get hotter.

I reached out with an elongated arm grabbed the Inspector by the back of neck.

At any given moment, I could snap his neck like a twig.

His eyes darted down, looking at my whole body with nothing but primal and complete and utter fear.

"DESTROY THE INSPECTOR!" My now extremely deep voice said.

My face contorted, morphed, my face opened up and became Canine like, with rows of fully fledged, razor sharp teeth of flames lining my mouth, very much Leech-like in structure.

"INNOCENCE! LEVEL 3: HELLHOUND!" I said in voice that wasn't mine.

I put the Inspector head firmly between my jaws and attempted to clamp down as hard as I could.

The flames receded before I could even blink, as I felt a familiar touch on my chest.

The Inspector had pick-pocketed the pick pocket-er (How poetic _– Adam_). He had taken the Innocence seals that I had taken with from Ezio and stuffed them right onto my chest. When they had been in my pocket, I wasn't sure.

This was enough of a wakeup call to my conscious to stop myself from killing the Inspector.

I instantly de-invoked (Is that even a word? - _Adam_) my Innocence, once I realised what I was doing.

My rage had blinded me and forcibly taken over my body as a result.

I had sworn to never let my Innocence do that to me ever again, but, I still did.

It isn't however like that mattered. My only reason for continuing my journey through life has vanished. Gone. Disappeared. What was the point of my existence?

_The leash around the dog's neck has been weakened. Just like as if he let the dog out for a walk on its own. And now, when it whines and complains about being alone, it has no one to blame but itself._

Just, just shut up.

_If you truly have no point in living anymore, then go out and find another reason to live. You're only being selfish if you think about your own depression._

But why should I find another reason?

_Why not?_

I fell over on the floor, my Innocence deactivated, tears falling out of my eyes, along with blood as the Innocence had melted off more of the skin on my body.

It wasn't a problem however, as my Innocence simply grew into the places where my skin had once been.

Never did it replace the skin on the left side of my body, only on my right.

Tears of blue water became red with blood soon after they began to flow, as the blood pool simply grew in diameter with every passing second.

I felt like I was dead, nah, worse than if I was dead. I felt like I was being purposely built up just to be destroyed by god. Why did he hate me so?

_You can self loathe all you want, but that won't help you. Now that you don't have to live for brother, what will you do?_

I, I, don't know.

_Then, find that reason. Neah and Neah's brother had a stupid, but very much true, phrase to live by._

"Never stop walking". Wasn't that it?

_Ah, yes, precisely that. "Never stop walking until the day you die" if I recall the whole phrase correctly._

But, where do I walk to?

_Sometimes, the means don't need an ends, servant._

Will you stop calling me that?

I physically made a smile. At least, the pain went from being sharp to dull, so I thought that maybe as time passes it would simply, disappear.

Along with me.

But, I guess I'll get to that when I get to that.

Another dose of sedation and I was back in the chair, this time, the room was filled with at least 10 guards lining the walls.

All Noah-Exorcist cross breeds, I could only presume.

"This time, Noah, could you refrain from attacking me? If you do it again these men will not hesitate to kill you on the spot." The Inspector said smugly.

The Innocence and Dark Matter bonds were layered on thrice as thick. I couldn't get out even if I wanted to.

He sighed, "As I was saying, just how strongly do you feel about your brother?"

The sadness subsided to be replaced by rage, but I kept it down by imaging myself violently tearing the man apart.

"Very, very strongly. And I don't like where this is going, Inspector. Didn't you also say that you wanted to keep your promise and execute me?" I said blankly.

My voice was devoid of emotion, for some inexplicable reason. I thought I wasn't keeping myself contained very well, as at the time I felt as if the very air around me was vibrating with my unimaginable amount of hate that filled every inch of my being at the sight of the man.

"Yes, I did promise to execute you. And I did, I killed your heart. I've broken you. But, I also want you to know that your brother is in the X-orcist program." A grin that accented his aura of dark intent arose at the last of his sentence.

What. Did. He. Just. Say?

"Oh, that's interesting. I see that you're just trying to not only break my will but destroy me as well. Well played Inspector, well played. But I'll have you know that you can't destroy a fine mist no more than you could destroy Oxygen by setting a massive bonfire" I said, my voice still cold despite the intensity of my rage sky-rocketing.

His face was unnerved, he was off balance, he didn't expect me to be so cold after such a revelation, or at least I could only think as such. I wanted this reaction. I wanted his fear to be strewn all over his face. And this method was working.

"Moving on, now that the execution is over with, there will now be a new rule on your weekly updates. If you now don't adhere to the rule, we will hunt you down, and execute your brother in front of you. After all, he's merely one piece on the chess board, a pawn. Who cares about him besides you?" He said with a Cheshire grin.

"So it's a hostage situation, eh? I'd think more highly of you, Inspector." I said with obvious distaste.

His was becoming uncomfortable in his skin at this point, given my personality shift. That was from what I could gather looking at his face, and crawling skin.

"I'll adhere to the new rule. By the way, the only reason I missed 13 years of reports was because the machine malfunctioned, it sent me to 18XX instead of 18XX. Years AFTER Allen was already born." I said, with my own Cheshire grin.

If there was any doubt that he was uncomfortable, it disappeared as he gulped.

Was I really that menacing? My skin HAD become ash gray with Stigmata on my forehead, but I was currently my normal self. But was I ever going to my normal self again?

_You're complaining again~~~._

Shut up Old man.

_Who are you calling Old, child?_

Who are you calling a child, Old man?

_Who are you calling Old, boy?_

I inwardly smiled, we were at it again. I might have already thought this, but it still has merit. Maybe having the Earl talk to me chatty-Cathy about everything all the time wasn't so bad?

It was still creepy. I was slowly becoming friends with not only the person that tried to annihilate the world but the person that would eventually annihilate my sense of self and turn me into a shell for him to inhabit.

Is this Stockholm syndrome? It takes at least three days to work though, and I only started hearing him, around (ish) two days ago.

Or maybe it was longer than that? I didn't know just how long I've been in this room. My stomach was still rumbling, and I wasn't exactly thinning, so I sort of figured that I haven't been here longer than 24 hours or so.

"Alright. Crows, escort the Noah back to the time device. He won't misbehave; he's a good little chess piece, if you know how to handle him." He couldn't leave the room soon enough.

"Oh wait, wait, before you leave I need to explain my current situation to you, Inspector." I said trying to keep him from running, tail between his legs.

"What situation?" His eyes were beaming with professionalism.

"Well, funny story…" I explained the situation to Leverrier the third. His eyes widening further and further as I went on.

"This. We can use this. I may have been the final one to decide Adam, but the higher-ups were the ones that wanted to execute you this way." My thoughts instantly flashed to Sheryl and his ability as a Noah. No one could probably say no when the guy was threatening to decapitate you without even moving.

"So my apologies. But, if you could potentially train with the Exorcists back in that time period, become friends with the Fourteenth, then you could backstab him after he defeats the Earl. Its ingenious, I must give myself credit for such an idea." And poof, the small amount of professional respect I had gathered at the beginning of his speech had disappeared instantly at the last line.

"Training with the Exorcists though would also mean fighting Akuma, so make sure to hold back. You're only a newly found Exorcist; it would be highly unusual if a new Exorcist had the power of a veteran Exorcist." I had figured as much on my own.

"And don't disrupt anything major, small stuff like the amount of Akuma killed won't matter too much, or just how many civilians die for that matter as well. Make sure, even if it means by your own hands, that people die at the proper intervals." Wait. Was he actually suggesting that I kill Cross or an innocent individual person just so that history flows forward as it should? I had actually found a new emotion towards him besides anger and hate: Fear.

This man had a complete disregard for life. But then again, don't all Leverrier's? Still, it takes some backbone/asshole-ish-ness to act like that.

"That should be all the advice I can give you besides "May God Be With You" and "God's Speed", Adam. But you're still Noah" He just had to say it.

I was escorted through the order soon after his pep-talk, back towards the time travel device.

After being forcibly shoved into the time travel device (Note: That's a bit of a mouthful, should shorten that to the TTD – _Adam_), I went back to where Allen and Cross were staying.

All along the way, humming the Fourteenth's song and thinking over just what Leverrier had meant when he said "Even by your own hands".

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**Author's notes: Sooooo many new things this chapter, Adam's level three innocence that actually physically hurts him too use, his first Noah skin transformation, and, out first taste of the braggart that is the Leverrier the third. *Sob* OC'S GROW UP SO FAST!**

**If you found it rather humourless, well, I couldn't think of a way to make him being in basement room thingy humorous, plus it would be in bad taste 'cus of his brother and all. I guess that means that he and Millennium Earl have more to talk about now, nudge nudge, wink wink, hint at next chapter.**

**I'm actually accepting pairings to work into the narrative.**

**If I get 5 votes for characters other than Lenalee (Current planned pairing) then I'll integrate them into the plot and eventually a lemon! *YAY* As Rhode would say. Just send me a PM saying (As the subject) "My Vote For The New Black World Order pairing" and then list the character pairings you want into the plot, then I will make it shall (If I get 5 votes saying the same thing). Note: If someone votes for Lenalee, that will only count ontop of my already 5 vote head start on it. IE, add one vote, and it will become 6 votes for Lenalee and Allen.**

**And yes, I will make a you-are-your-own-grandfather joke somewhere in there.**

**Too remind people: These come out once every two days. The next one is on the 19th.**

**Edit: After the, err, somewhat violent reaction to Alleena (AllenXLenalee) I'll be working with the close possibility of AdamXLenalee (Adlee). See just how much THAT f*cks up the time stream.**

**Still, the voting stands. If you still want AllenXLenalee, VOTE. If you don't, VOTE.**

**Edit2: Changed it to a poll on my page. Aren't polls fantastic? Just go to wherever you need to go to use my poll and then vote. It only takes a minute or two. Come on, it's REALLY easy.**

**Edit3: Hey guys, I just have a few things to say.**

**One, the story won't be continued UNTIL I have 5 plus votes for character pairings on my poll. If you don't know how to get to the poll, then just PM me your answer for what kind of pairing you want.**

**Two, I updated my profile about my next project for D. Gray-man. I literally thought of the concept in the shower. Don't look at me like that; if I remember correctly, Soul Eater was started only with the intent of a girl holding a Scythe. And D. Gray-man was thought of when Hoshino was in the bath for 6 hours. (I think)**

**Three, VOTE YOU SONS OF B*TCHES.**


	8. The Newest But Oldest Chapter 8 EVAR

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

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_Chapter 8 (The real one): Newest Oldest Chapter EVAR_

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**Author's notes: Hello there dear readers! I'd just like to apologise for not actually making a new chapter and this one is pretty short. I just had a case of writers block something awful so I made a contest, hoping that by the end of the week I would get over it. I did, for the most part.**

**Still, I apologise formally for the length of this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-man, though if I did then Lenalee would SHUT THE FUCK UP AND STOP CRYING ALL THE TIME! Geez woman. Cry me a river why don't cha?**

**My thanks goes out to those that reviewed and subscribed to my story, namely inamehyuuga for not only putting me on her/his Favourite Authors list, but also Author Alert list, E'Meerkat for doing the same as inamehyuuga and Raiji Magiwind. It's people like you that encourage me to go on FanFic writing and stuff so peace out sucka, and let's get this story rolling...**

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I went towards the cemetery. I didn't know why, but I felt the compulsion to visit my parent's graves, it might have been out of force of habit.

After I always did something important or just needed to cry, I would go to my parent's graves. My mother was born in England, London, and she said that she wanted to be buried there as well.

My father said, and I quote: "Son, if I die, bury me next to your mother, will ya?"

He said that to me, on my Birthday, my 8th Birthday to be exact. Right before he was essentially cremated in the fire.

Before I knew it I was at the cemetery, standing over the spot where they would be buried in about 100 years or so. It was really awkward, speaking to dead people, whom weren't even conceived much less dead yet.

When my first assignment for the Black Order went well, I came here to say that I was learning to be a better person. To let their deaths mean something.

Now, I can't even tell if I made the right choice to lie to Allen, to have tried to help my brother, to have even joined the Black Order in the first place.

Not to mention my internal strife from not knowing how my parents knew about the 14th's song, and why they sang it to me in the first place.

Maybe they were Akuma? I shivered at the thought; they would have killed me if they were in fact agents for the Earl. So that was out.

Maybe they were Brokers? This was far more plausible, our family needed money and my parents seemed like the types to love each other and not others. But that wouldn't explain why my dad had a Rose Cross tattoo, and knew of the 14th's song.

Maybe they were Noah? It was technically possible. Not likely, but possible. Although, they were awfully weak for Noah if they couldn't even escape a fire. Could they have even been hurt by the flames? Well, the flames were set by Innocence, so that might explain it.

But again, that didn't explain the Rose Cross tattoo on my dad's head. Just who were my parents, really?

A choked sob came from my left, further into the cemetery.

The sobs were coming from a child; he looked roughly 8 or possibly 9 years old.

He was wearing a black suit, probably has been crying since the funeral of a loved one, I thought.

He had blonde hair, I think; it was difficult to tell in the pale moonlight as it made his tears glisten.

I wondered, would _he _come? I stared at the child from a distance, waiting for who I expected to show up.

It took no longer than 10 minutes before the Millennium Earl was there. I hid behind a tombstone to hide from his view.

"Say, would you like to have your mommy back?" He said in his sweet sounding, yet masking evil intent voice.

I came up from behind the grave stone, I probably shouldn't have interfered, I know I shouldn't have, but I did none-the-less.

"Back away from the child, Earl." I said, holding out my right hand in front of me.

His grin slightly dissipated, like I was an inconvenience. Yet, it was blissful ignorance that technically I was his reincarnation; therefore asking me to not exist would probably hurt him more than it would hurt me.

"Ah~! An Exorcist, you couldn't have picked a worse time. Tell you what, how about you simply back away and leave, and I'll let you live. Sound fair?" Murderous intent could be seen and felt for miles around.

"I don't think so." I said invoking my Innocence.

A geyser of flames erupted from my hand, pouring out like a flamethrower towards the Millennium Earl. He dodged it easily, and flew through the air, Umbrella in hand.

"Ooooh~. That attack wasn't as strong as a Generals attack, but about a third weaker than it. Tell me; what's your name, Exorcist?" He asked, head tilting to the side.

"My name is Adam Phoenix Millennium. And yes, it is an awkward name for an Exorcist. What's your real name, Earl?" I responded.

"Alright, for your bold efforts, I'll let you know my first name. Adam, the 1st disciple of the clan of Noah, though I go by many more names than just the Millennium Earl, I also go by the Millennium Baron, the Millennium Count, and my personal favourite The Earl Of The Millennium. Pretty prestigious, eh?" He said, mocking me.

"Yes, quite." I said through deep breaths.

Let me explain why I was breathing deeply, there are two reasons, but one leads to the other.

Reason 1, my flame Innocence requires Oxygen to ignite, so I need to have at least a very minimal amount of Oxygen to first use my Innocence.

Reason 2, breathing deeply and then quickly breathing out Oxidises your blood (Or something like that) essentially adding extra Oxygen to my blood stream.

He disappeared only to reappear behind me, sword in hand.

He tried to stab me, to which I responded by putting my hands on his shoulders and getting behind him. After conjuring a gun, I fired as many rounds as I could into his back, my bullets simply falling to the floor, scorch marks were the only thing that showed that damaged had in fact been done.

His sword swung faster than I could react and as such I got a glancing hit on the side of head.

I grunted out of pain as I crashed through several tombstones and eventually landed on top of a grave of a John Doe.

It was fitting, because after I was done with the Earl he was going to become unrecognisable.

"This is going to hur.t" I said through gritted teeth as I activated my level three Innocence. "Innocence: Level three! HELLHOUND!" I yelled out.

The flame soon engulfed me in a mad dash of my will telling it to, my head was made of flames, as it was reforged with a canine style head shape.

The teeth grew as well; I was becoming for lack of a better word a Werewolf, minus the changing depending on the stage of the moon.

My fingers stretched out and became claws, my feet and toes became wolf feet and wolf toes, and I made a vicious sounding snarl at the completed transformation of my body.

"Oooooh! I've never heard of a piece of Innocence that can not only shoot fire but shape shift its owner! I must say it will be a pleasure killing you." He sounded sincere but became far more sinister by the end of his sentence.

He dashed at me, sword in hand, I slashed, he ducked under and tried to slash my legs only to cut through pure flames that easily reformed.

"What?" Was all he managed to say before my next attack (Me biting him and gripping him with my mouth) interrupted him.

He vanished before I could bite down; he appeared behind me and slashed with one clean stroke straight through my torso, from the right side of my neck to my left foot.

It passed through without harming me and I retaliated by upper-cutting him.

The hit sent him flying back a few feet before he recovered.

"Strange." He said whipping off the small piece of blood that was on his lip. I had cut him if ever so slightly.

"You are weak, and yet I can't defeat you. I wonder, if I absolutely annihilate everything will you then just die?" Sounding calm at the beginning of his sentence and then quickly spiralling into anger by the end, a mass of purple particles formulated around his fingertips, making a ball no bigger than the head of a pin.

_You know, that is a ball of pure Dark Matter, and something that size could level the entire cemetery._

Really? I was taken aback by such claims.

Could he actually destroy this whole place with just _that?_

_He is you just as much as I am you and you are him and me. So technically, yes, YOU can destroy the entire cemetery with that attack._

_Run._

I did as the Baron said and ran as far as I could, grabbing the kid in my arms who had been watching the whole fight and then continuing to flee.

The explosion knocked me off my feet and catapulted me (Along with the kid) through a wall.

Thankfully, it was not only a condemned building, but I managed to turn around in time and absorb 99% of the impact.

I looked back at the graveyard; it was nothing but black marble looking surface. Flat, for an entire patch of land and not a blade of grass more.

Not only did the Earl have self-control that I didn't have, he also has power that I don't have.

That makes a deadly combination, I thought.

I un-invoked my Innocence (Note: It's official, I proclaim un-invoked a word in the Adam Millennium dictionary - _Adam_) and put the kid down.

The Earl was gone, that much was certain, but why didn't he finish me off? Why didn't he go ahead and just kill us both with his sword when he had the chance? Was he actually so complacent that he thought to not bother checking for survivors?

I didn't bother to look a gift horse in the mouth and began walking, only stopping a few steps away when I realised that the kid wasn't breathing, I shook him. No response.

I felt his chest, his heart wasn't beating. This was bad.

I sprinted as fast I could to nearest hospital and dropped him off in front of the front desk, hoping they could save him.

I didn't stick around for long; instead I sprinted back the way I came.

My mind wandered off, thinking about the kid at the hospital as I made my way back to the room where Allen Cross and I were staying.

Sheesh. Would his death be on my hands? Well, if he died then maybe he would find comfort in death, being with the ones he loved, or rather, loved one.

I didn't really care either way, I still managed to prevent an Akuma from being formed, and since I can still _feel _the Baron's presence at the back of my mind and that I was still alive, I hadn't somehow prevented myself from being born, nor have I stopped the Millennium Earl from dying or winning.

I sighed, all's well in wonderland as they say.

But, just because I can still feel the Baron's presence doesn't exactly mean he lost. He might have won and have died later on, but that also means we would have won as the world most likely still exists as I'm still here and not back in my time, as if I was then that would mean that they never needed me to go into the past.

Ack, complicated questions that I don't necessarily have the answers to, how bothersome.

I had gone to the hotel where I fought the level three without even realising it. I shrugged, whilst I was here than I might as well as just get the future telling documents and go.

After sifting through the ash for just over an hour, I found the pile of papers, burnt beyond recognition. Again I sighed, realising that I would need to get new paper from Leverrier.

Still, saving someone just made this day worth it. Albeit now I might end up killing countless people as he might snap and kill 30 or so people for some unknown reason, so that was still wearing down heavily on me.

As I reached the room, I crashed on the bed. This was going to be a loooooooong year of training.

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**Author's notes: Soooooo, encounter with the Millennium Earl, what-happens-to-the-kid-now?-Trust-me,-it-won't-be-pretty plot point is set in motion and now I can time skip to the training. YAY! As Rhode would say.**

***Clears throat***

**The once-every-two-days updates are going to continue, and I'm going to close the poll as well. Again, I apologise for the shortness of the chapter. **

**Something interesting to note though, is that I actually (From the only votes given) have a tie between Lavi Allen and Rhode for pairings. **

**0.0 Did not see that one coming. **

**But, since they didn't get 5 votes I'm just going to go with AdamXLenalee. Hey, it's your fault for not voting. Just saiyan.**

**Maybe I'll keep the votes for them in mind for future D. Gray-man FanFics, hm, maybe? Eh? Eh? Anyway, thanks for reading, rate and review, favourite and subscribe Annnnnd I'm out.**


	9. Officer Moor Hesse: Reporting for duty?

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

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_Chapter 9: Officer Moore Hesse: Reporting for duty?_

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**Author's notes: This is where the timeline starts diverging greatly. I guess there's no hope anymore that Adam can keep the timeline on track. *Sigh* At least he tried.**

**Plus, bet 'cho b*tches didn't expect TWO chapters in one day? Granted my previous one (The story for Soul Eater) I spent a whole week refining and was ready way before today but still, TWO CHAPTERS IN ONE DAY. AWWW YEAH.**

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_1 Year later….._

"Hey, stupid apprentice, I want you to go and catch one of those Lion things and bring it back here." Cross said, drunk as ever.

"W-what?" Allen said, with his jaw dropped so low it almost hit the floor.

"And as for you, smart apprentice, I need to speak with you about something. I don't remember what, but give me a minute and I'll remember it." Cross said, slurring.

Life had been terrifying during the past year, whether it is the countless death threats from scorned women and their husbands, or the mobsters and their countless attempts at assassinating Cross. They failed though, needless to say.

Strangely, despite the horrible conditions I was put through, alongside Allen, I was at peace with it. Like, I had accepted that I was probably going to die from this man working me to death. And what was even stranger was how I wasn't even the slightest bit sad about my brother's condition. I felt horrible that I had grown so detached, but it didn't even begin to be similar to the pain of feeling for him.

All in all, life was horribly interesting, I was feeling terribly good, and Allen was suffering.

With a groan, Allen left the room and went to go catch a lion. How he was ever going to do it was beyond me. But before he could leave, I caught a smile aimed straight at me, like he was saying "Don't worry, I'll be fine" without moving his lips.

After Allen had left, Cross began speaking with authority.

Huh, so he was acting drunk, you couldn't tell, I thought.

"Smart apprentice. As of today, you are officially an Exorcist. Pat yourself on the back that you didn't get dragged down by my stupid apprentice, he's an idiot, but he's a courageous idiot, I'll give him that." He said.

"R-really? I'm officially an Exorcist now?" I said, acting innocent and speaking with false glee.

"Yes, you are. And wipe that smile off your face smart apprentice, you look like stupid apprentice and make me want to slap you just as much." He said gruffly.

"Y-yes sir, Master." I replied.

It was a short lived conversation, after saying that much he just went back to drinking a bottle of scotch that he somehow hid inside of his Exorcist coat.

Time passed, and Allen came back with a Lion biting his left arm. As shocked as I was to see him actually having a lion with him, I was only outshone by Cross pimp-handing Allen and yelling at him that it was the wrong kind of Lion. It was a tiger.

Allen sighed, "If that's the case, can you help me get my arm out of this tiger? It's starting to hurt a little."

"Not a chance, you have to stay like that until you've learned not to be stupid. And that's final." Cross mumbled.

Immediately after giving out a sigh of defeat, Allen went to sit back down in the room, until the tiger bit in harder and he shook the thing so senseless it leaped off his arm and ran away. Well, that was anticlimactic, I thought.

"Now Allen, I have something important to tell you. For your hard work, which you didn't need to do if you weren't such a failure," I sweat dropped, just as cruel as ever I see, I thought. "You are now officially an Exorcist. I sent a referral letter to some guy named Komui at the European branch, so just go there with Tim campy and they'll let you in." He added.

"You, you mean it? I'm officially an Exorcist!" He cheered. But then he froze and gave a fleeting glance at me, "Is Adam an Exorcist to? He worked just as hard as me to become an Exorcist, Master." He said.

"Oh yeah yeah sure, he's officially an Exorcist too as of today." Cross said quickly.

"Wait, Master, aren't you coming with us to the European branch?" I asked, knowing what would happen.

He stood up, and started walking towards Allen, hammer in hand.

"Are you kidding me? I'd rather lose a thumb than go back there!" He raised the hammer and smacked Allen on the head, knocking him unconscious instantly.

He glanced over at me, "Adam. I need you to do something."

"Um, what is it, Master?" I asked innocently.

"Make sure that my stupid apprentice doesn't die, he's needed for something important. But don't tell him I said that, he'd never let me hear the end of it, got it?" He said sombrely.

"I'll try my best." I nodded.

"And another thing, this is just a survival tip for us smart people at the order, don't trust the higher ups. Learn to lie on reports, to act innocent and learn the importance of plausible deniability. Learn, to survive the harsh place that is the Black Order." He said ominously.

He started walking towards the door, but I stopped him.

"Where ARE you going, Master?" I asked.

He looked at me blankly, contemplated, and then answered, "I'll be going where I need to, smart apprentice." He said whilst ruffling my hair.

He snapped his fingers right before fully leaving the room, "Which reminds me. Tell Allen where the European branch is, don't need him wandering off in the wrong direction now." That was the last I heard of him for a while.

Shortly after Cross left, I sat back down. First things first, wait for Allen to wake up before venturing out to the European branch.

Which I also didn't know where it is, I realised, face-palming.

Well, it's in Europe, that much I know for sure. Hence European. Maybe?

_Weeks later, London_

Afterwards, Allen had woken up with a start, and once I was done explaining to him the situation ("You see Allen, funny story….") we embarked out on a journey to find the branch.

"TIMCAMPY!" Allen yelled as we chased a cat that had swallowed up Tim campy.

It took a right down a busy street, me and Allen viciously dashing towards said cat in an effort to save Tim.

Jumping over stalls and eventually attempting to cut it off by heading over the roof tops, sprinting, putting everything we had to get catch the catnapper.

We had it cornered, a solid brick wall behind it, it had nowhere else to go-

Whilst we were celebrating our victory it quickly rushed between our legs.

We both sighed and sweat dropped, thinking, and saying, in unison "Really? We had him!"

We followed the cat, cutting it off as it simply continued to run away, until it eventually found refuge in a church-ish building.

I think it was a church anyway; I wasn't too good with stuff like identification. Ask me what colour the moon is and I'd probably forget for a minute or two.

"It's in that building Allen, so I say, you go in through the front and I go in through the back. Give that little fur ball no chance of escaping us." I said maniacally.

"Uh, sure thing Adam." He sweat dropped, "I can tell that you're taking the fact that a cat beat you rather, err, heavily."

I gazed at him and he instantly jumped back, "I'm not crazy. You're crazy." I said quickly.

"Ooookay. Anyway, let's do it." He replied.

I nodded.

Allen dashed in through the front whilst I circled the building for a back entrance, giving up on finding it once I realised that there wasn't any way in besides the front door, I went back to the front of the building, feeling slightly defeated.

Peeking inside, I saw a familiar type of monstrous outline in the interior.

Akuma!

I dashed inside and invoked my Innocence, preparing to fire.

Purple gas spread everywhere in a violent explosion that was complimented by a scream of what I thought was a dying walrus.

Through the fog I could see another, more human (And short) figure standing behind another figure, I couldn't make anything out of them.

I shot my geyser of flames right into the air, dispersing the gas near instantly, and allowing me to see the two figures more closely.

It was Allen kneeling next to some woman that I didn't know, a rag covering her mouth.

"She's just unconscious; she didn't inhale enough of the gas to kill her." Allen said plainly.

"Okay, good to know. But was that an Akuma? What kind of Akuma was it as well? I sure as heck didn't see it leave, so it's fast." I said.

"I didn't get a good look at it either, my bad." He said scratching the back of his head.

"Don't be, right now it we should just drop miss police officer here off at the local police station. From there, I'm sure we can explain who we are, and that we intend to hunt the Akuma so that they don't send anyone here to investigate ever again." I said.

"How did know that they were police officers? And that they were sent to investigate?" He said bewildered.

"Officers? As in plural? Let me guess, he was the guy that just exploded into a poisonous gas right?" I said.

He nodded, "But still, how did you know?"

"Elementary, my dear Watson. She wears a police officer coat, and this place has an infamous reputation, heard about the place on the train that we took here. So, she must be here to investigate." I tapped my head, "It's all in the deduction, Allen."

"Right." He said simply.

Upon entering the police station and laying the lady officer down, we were immediately put in handcuffs and thrown into an interrogation room.

It wasn't pleasant by any means.

"Hey! What'd you do _that _for?" I asked.

The police officer adjacent from me and Allen, who was _fat _as could be might I add, started yelling at us.

"ADMIT IT! YOU MURDERED HIM DIDN'T YOU?" The morbidly obese man said. He grabbed Allen's arm and pulled up the sleeve, "SEE? YOUR ARMS RED, IT'S COVERED IN BLOOD!" Allen silently sat there as I spoke.

Both me and Allen sweat dropped, "No sir, we did not do what you are accusing us of doing. Now, under my rights that I know off by heart, since you have no evidence to support your claim and are not under arrest we can leave." I said, saying my many times rehearsed line that I always said to the police whenever I got in trouble.

The man's forehead looked as if it was going to burst his vein was so massive, when out of the blue the police woman from earlier popped into the room.

"Uh, sir? The short one was with me the whole time, but I'm not sure about the other one though, I haven't seen him at all. How is he involved in this?" She asked.

"Me? I just so happen to be the one that deduced you were a police officer and saved your sorry butt from that Akuma." I said smugly.

Allen glared at me, I whispered to him "Don't worry, just play along, I have a plan."

"Akuma? But those aren't real." An officer beside the fat guy said.

"That is not the kind Akuma I speak of. Akuma are weapons created by the Millennium Earl to destroy humanity. When tragedy occurs, the Earl flocks to the site of the grieving person and turns their loved one into an Akuma by telling them to call to them so that they can come back from the grave. The Akuma kills the grieving person, wears that person's body like a suit and goes about killing people secretly, or sometimes when there are large packs of them, destroy entire towns. You don't want them to destroy London, mister officer sir? Then I'd suggest you let us go." I said arrogantly.

He looked star struck, but the made a scowling face that only 3 year olds would be afraid of.

The police officer that had remarked about Akuma's not being real leaned in close to the fat man's ear, I could barely make out what they were saying.

"Sir, there were bullet holes at the crime scene, and these kids don't have a piece on them. We have to let them go." The fat man's eyebrows twitched furiously at us, annoyed that he'd been wrong.

He stood up, "Fine. You're, free to go, to go fight those mythical Akuma that you brag about-"

I invoked my innocence and made a fireball in the palm of my right hand, interrupting the fat policeman.

"-They aren't mythical mister police officer sir. My right hand and Allen's left arm are anti-Akuma weapons. Now, if you want the killings to stop, then I'd suggest that you never go there again and just let us go there to find it and destroy it." I said.

His eyes were wide with shock as both Allen and I left the police station.

"Geez, did you have to be so intimidating to the guy? He's just a bystander after all." Allen asked.

"Sorry, I've been to police stations many of times before so I had the acting tough routine down pat. I didn't mean to be so intimidating, but the point still stands that they shouldn't go there ever again. I only hope that they payed attention to me." I said.

"Why have you been to police stations before?" Allen asked.

"I used to pick pocket to get by." Partially true, I still do pick pocket as part of Master Cross's instructions.

"You shouldn't pick pocket, honest people work to get that money that you stole." He said seriously.

"I know, I know. It's why I gave up pick-pocketing people a bit ago, too morally conflicting." I said.

I stopped walking.

"We're here. The cat has _got _to be here, this is where I last saw the thing anyway as we were taking that police officer with us." I said.

I looked around the place, and went around the corner to discover the catnapper in the flesh.

"You! Allen! Try to catch it, the cat's heading your w-"

Turning around the corner I saw Allen already chasing the cat around in circles before the cat slipped inside of the house we were beside.

"Dang it." Allen said.

"Alright, I guess we'll knock." I said.

I attempted to knock on the door, only to find it open. In fact, it fell off its hinges. It fell and landed on a wheelchair.

This was bad. As further testament to that, Allen's eye activated as well.

I dashed inside, thinking only of what might have happened to the place, it looked like the whole place had been hit by a hurricane.

Heading up the stairs, I found the female officer next to the Akuma, weapons raised straight at her face.

It was a level 2, so I could easily defeat it. It looked like a stereotypical bandit from the Wild West, and using its many arms was holding at least 20 revolvers straight to the woman's face.

"Cremation Coffin!" I yelled.

The Innocence on my hand wrapped around the Akuma, encasing it in metal.

"Innocence, Level 2: Flames of RAGE!" I shouted as well.

The Akuma's screams could be heard even through the thick metal of the iron maiden-like coffin, slowly melting away.

Since I was supposed to be relatively new as an Exorcist, I made myself look as tired as possible, as if I had poured as much energy as I had into melting the Akuma alive.

The explosion blew the coffin open, but only a smidge so no need to be worrying about flying shrapnel going about the place.

My innocence receded back into my right hand, and I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Whoa! How did you do that coffin thingy?" Allen asked.

Oh crap. Forgot that I wasn't supposed to use cremation coffin as I hadn't technically "Discovered" it as part of skill set.

Erm, a good lie, a good lie, oh damn it can't think of any, err, um, dang, I'll have to go with the terrible on then.

"I don't know actually, I just _said _it, like I knew about it but I didn't." I said, acting mystified at what just happened.

"Well, I heard that Innocence sometimes acts on its own in order to destroy Akuma. So maybe that's what happened? And besides, we were lucky. Neither of us are experienced enough to deal with a Level two on our own, or even together. Your Innocence saved us, so thanks Adam." He said, raising his hand.

"No problem." I said, taking his hand and shaking it. I face palmed, "Right, injured person over there." I said, gesturing towards the police officer from earlier.

"Oh yeah, forgot about her myself actually." He said, lightly chuckling.

We both rushed over to her. Both of her eyes were wide open in shock, most likely mortified from the near death experience.

"Ma'am, ma'am, are you alright? Are you injured or anything of the sort?" I said.

"N-no, I don't think so. What _was _that, anyway?" She asked.

"That was an Akuma. And Adam here destroyed it with his Anti-Akuma weapon" Allen said, gesturing to me.

"Forgive me for saying this but." I cleared my throat. "Told ya so."

"An-anti, Akuma, weapon?" She asked, looking dumbfounded.

"Should you or should I explain?" Allen asked.

I sighed, "Because I've been the one speaking this entire, and because my throat hurts, I think it'd be best if you explained it to her. I'm tired" I said frankly.

Whilst Allen was busy explaining to her just what Innocence and Millennium Earl was, I however was examining the room.

If the Akuma was a gun totting Akuma, then why, oh why, did it destroy the place? Was it looking for something?

Not to mention the scene of the crime didn't match what you'd expect of an Akuma. An Akuma would have walked inside, activated its true form, and _then _started shooting, but it didn't.

It busted open the door, but then again if it was locked that was to be expected, albeit why wasn't the door shot down? Why wasn't it full of holes? Instead, the door was damaged, the door was busted open.

But then again, Akuma aren't the smartest creatures, so it might have simply had a lapse of judgement to instead knock the door open. I looked down the stairs and examined the walls.

Nothing at all, no bullet holes, only indents. The Akuma hadn't shot anything, and yet all it could appear to do was shoot given that it had 20 or so guns on it.

Maybe it simply thrashed its arms around? No, then there'd be more destruction if it'd just smashed everything willy nilly.

I looked at the floor, some indents here and there but overall, nearly spotless.

Let's see if I can make sense of what happened here. The Akuma was acting like an idiot and busted the door instead of shooting it down, went up the stairs randomly smashing its hands on the walls in a controlled manner, and then chased her up into the room that she was in know, and yet hadn't shoot her on sight.

If it was looking for Innocence, that would make sense though. But as far as I could tell she wasn't an accommodator. I sighed, it added up, but still felt somewhat like a hollow truth, time to ask the witness.

"Allen, I need to speak with her about the Akuma." I said firmly.

"Why?" He asked.

I glared as a response; "No time to explain." was my only answer.

"Miss, what's your name?"

"M-Moor, Moor Hesse." She said shakily.

"Miss Moor, can I call you Moor?" I said.

She nodded.

"Moor, tell me just what happened from the moment you first saw the Akuma to now." I said.

"Well." She breathed in deeply, and looked up at the ceiling, and then back at me.

"At first, I heard a knock on the door, and the when I opened it I found my brother, Marc, was there in his wheelchair. He had recently gone through some dark times because he was marrying my sister, and she died. Her name was Clair. He turned into, that, _thing_, and I closed the door in his face. I was too shocked to move, I just stood there on shaky legs as he shot the door down, and the when he did break through the door I mustered up the courage to run up the stairs, and he followed me into this room. He pointed the gun at me and asked "Where's the Innocence?" I told him that I didn't know what he was talking about and he laughed at me. He told me to stay there as he tore up the place trying to search for god knows what, and then he came back and asked me once more what the innocence was and then you guys showed up and well, you guys know what happened from then on." She said.

"I see." I said.

"Why did you need to ask?" Allen asked.

"Because, everything she just said was a complete lie. One, why would an Akuma that uses firearms bust open a door and not just shoot it down? Two, if the Akuma was outside the house and in a wheelchair, then how did the Wheelchair get inside the house? Three, why would an Akuma leave their victim alone? They could easily escape. Four, why the sudden shift in personality for the Akuma? It busts open a door like a crazy person and then all of a sudden is methodical enough to have cohesive thought? I don't think so. She's pulling our chain Allen." I said.

"And." I invoked my Innocence and made my flame conjuration pistol.

"She's going to tell us why she's lying to us. Right, Moor?" I said, pointing the gun at her forehead.

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**Author's notes: DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUN! Moor gets a bigger role in the story, but just what is that role you may ask? Tune in this Wednesday to find out.**

**Adam be gettin' serious up in dis. This is actually part of his acting, remember, he's pretending to be someone else. Right now, he's in pretending-to-be-innocent-child-yet-serious mode. Afterwards, he'll be his normal pretending to be someone else self.**

**You know, I've noticed something, I keep on saying "This is where it gets interesting" for some reason. To be frank, I don't actually think it's gotten to the best part of the story yet. I think that'll probably come from when Adam has to kill - *SPOILER* Hah, thought I was going to tell you of a future plot twist wasn't I? Oh well, laters.**

**I've got stuff to do to do stuff, like rewatch the Soul Eater anime. Peace out bruda's.**


	10. Talking With Jan: THE EPIC I

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

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_Chapter 10: Talking with Jan: THE EPIC I_

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**Author's notes: Hey guys, I'm pretty sure may have noticed already but I actually made this chapter extra-long because I wanted to thank you guys for actually voting. Plus, I didn't know where to stop so I went with stopping where I did.**

**Disclaimer: They said I could become anything, those sons of b*tches. I wanted to own D. Gray-man and yet I don't. *Evil grin* Yet.**

**With my babbling out of the way, on with the story...**

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The clacking of my conjured firearm broke the silence.

"Start talking. Are you a broker? Yes or no?" I said.

"A broker?" Allen asked.

"Master Cross told me about them, basically they're people that purposely create people in grief in exchange for cash so that the Millennium Earl can create more Akuma. Albeit, Brokers are a dime a dozen, so why go through the trouble of saving this one?" I lied. As a matter of fact Cross hadn't told me about them, I already knew beforehand about Brokers, the disgusting creatures.

His face widened in shock, "There are people that would actually do that? For money?" His fist tightened in anger.

"Allen, Master Cross?" I said simply.

"Oh right." He sweat dropped, and shivered at the same time.

"START TALKING!" I yelled harshly, Moor yelping back in surprise.

"I-I-I-I, don't know what you're talking abou-"She stuttered.

"LIAR!" I shouted, interrupting her.

I saw tears well up in her eyes, but something about the tears felt, familiar. Just where have I seen those kinds of tears before?

A hand gripped my arm, "That's enough. She doesn't know anything, so just calm down and lets leave, we have to get to the Black Order anyway." Allen said.

I lowered my gun, why did those tears look familiar?

"I'm sorry for the trouble miss. I guess I was just wrong, my deepest apologies." I said formally.

As we left the house, a sudden epiphany struck me like a lightning bolt.

I knew those tears because I once used them, those were the crocodile tears. I used them to secretly pick-pocket people when I made up a phony story about my mother abandoning me.

I was running back inside before I could even react, and I saw a glimpse of what I could only describe as a chequered door just as it vanished. A thought popped into my head, Rhode's door!

_Technically speaking, that isn't your thought, nor is it your memory that you remember that door from. It is in fact MY memory-_

Yeah, just shut up for once, alright? I'm thinking why she would save that one particular girl.

_Rhode loves her family just as much as I do. You figure it out._

If she loves her family, and her family are the Noah…..

_Yes, you're on the right track, come on, hurry up and figure it out._

….And she helped someone, that must mean they are part of her family. Wait, Moor's a Noah!

_It appears so._

Allen ran up behind me and patted me on the shoulder, "Hey, Adam, why'd you go running off like that? And where's Moore?" He said whilst looking around.

"I." Looking around the place and coming up empty, I continued "Don't know. And I ran off because I realised something".

"What did you realise?" Allen asked.

"At first, I thought that her tears were familiar. And now I know why. They were false tears. She was pulling our chain again, Allen, and now she's escaped because of it to god knows where." I sighed slightly in frustration.

I picked myself up (Figuratively I mean, I didn't actually fall over – _Adam_) and put on a cheery smile, "Oh well, what a shame that we didn't catch her. Come on Allen, we have places to go, people to meet." I said innocently.

Under his breath, I could hear Allen say "And people say I have mood swings". A cat strode on it through the place, and just as I caught it a familiar looking golden bird-thingy flew straight out of the cat's mouth. "Tim campy!" Allen cried out in joy.

_An hour later, on the back of a carriage (Thingy, I don't know what it's called okay?)….._

"Tim Campy, don't fly around too much. I and Adam have had enough chasing cats around for one day." Allen sighed.

"Yeah, next time you get mauled by a cat I ain't coming to save you, Tim." I said, pretending to be an innocent person pretending to be menacing.

Ack, such a mouthful. That's what she said.

"What-? You were mauled by a cat? I'm surprised you're safe." Said a voice from behind both me and Allen.

The voice belonged to one of the people that actually owned the cart, carriage, whatever it was that we were hitchhiking on.

He (Might have been a she, even) was wearing a rather stupid looking suit. His head was wider than his body in the suit, and he had a Akuma-like mask (It was happy instead of in agony as is the case with Akuma's), with a tutu (Or whatever the darn things called) around his neck, a gown (Again, whatever you call it) went from his neck down to his toes, it had a polka-dot pattern on it.

"Did you come here to do sightseeing, travellers?" A female voice said, in the direction of behind us.

"Ah, no, not really. We're on our way to the Black Orders HQ, the European branch, the Headquarters of Exorcists like us." I said, smiling.

"Now, Adam, we aren't officially Exorcists _yet,_ remember that, no matter how much we feel like we've earned it." Allen said, sending my blimp of braggart-ness down in flames.

"Alright, _mom._" I said mockingly.

"Anyways, we should catch some shuteye. It's going to be a long time before we need to get off." I added, reminding him.

"Oh, right." He yawned. "I need a good nap anyway."

The yawning was contagious, as I yawned after Allen, "Yeah, I guess I could use a quick nap myself."

Before I even realised it, I had drifted off to sleep.

"_Adam. Adam. Wake up, you're dreaming."_

_I groggily opened my heavy eye-lids, how could I even sleep in a dream was my question._

"_Oh, Baron, it's you. Where are we?" I asked, looking around the strange place._

_It was a small room with a chequered pattern on it, effectively making it equal parts black and white._

_The couch I was on, case and point, was black leather with white cushions._

_I sat up; Baron was sitting adjacent from me, in his chair that creaked under his size._

_He was wearing a formal suit; he wasn't wearing the preposterous costume that was his normal attire as the Millennium Earl. No, this time round he was wearing what he would wear at a formal gathering._

"_It's where I stay inside of your mind. My own personal room, if you will. It's actually quite convenient that you choose to sleep now, as I was meaning to ask you a question that ascertains to our, unique situation, is what you could call it." He said calmly._

_I shrugged, "No reason not to ask now. Go ahead, shoot." I said._

"_Alright, good. This question is more of a "What would you do if X happened" than anything else. Now, Adam, I will eventually without a doubt destroy the world. Do you understand that?" He asked._

"_I DO know in the end that you will destroy the world, yes. Why are you asking?" I said._

"_My plan involves me killing those at the modern day Black Order. Would you be okay with that? I'm asking, because I for a time also believed forcing people's opinions upon each other was wrong. It's the very simple fact that since you're my host, I need your full cooperation in battle otherwise I won't be at my strongest." He said._

"_No, I would never forgive you if you killed anyone that I know. Period. I do find it repugnant to force your opinion on someone else." I paused, took in a breath before continuing, "What changed?" I said._

"_What do you mean what changed?" He said._

"_I mean, why is it that you decided to destroy the world when you once believed the same as I currently do?" I asked._

_He gripped his forehead and took off his top hat, before putting it back on, regaining his composure as he did._

"_My belief in my philosophy grew, that's what. Every day, I saw humans killing each other because of selfishness or greed or difference of opinion. I saw it as so ghastly that I decided to take action, after all, it would take time that humanity doesn't have to reach a point where everyone understood each other. Humanity will destroy itself eventually that much is certain. And I know that countless times over it has been said that a world without flaws is a stagnant, hellish place. So why bother leaving anyone alive if they would eventually experience hell?" He said._

_I sighed, he had sound reasoning but morally, it was wrong. Or was I just saying that because he was forcing his opinion on others?_

"_I can understand the dilemma you see about this world. If I was someone that had as much experience with humanity as you do, then maybe I would act just as you are now. Maybe, I would be a Noah because I want to. But, I have chosen my side in this war, I am an Exorcist first, and a Noah last. I don't want this world to end, but maybe that's just me being selfish enough to want to live over the expense of others suffering. If anything, that makes me just as bad as a Broker." I said._

"_If you see eye to eye with me, then why not join me? Help the other Noah win this war, and destroy this planet. Why shouldn't people of similar beliefs rally behind the same banner? Hm?" He asked._

_It was my turn to laugh, "What's so funny?" The Baron asked._

"_Nothing really, just how sad the situation is. Were you not a Noah, or were I not an Exorcist, I would gladly follow rank and file behind this supposed banner of yours." I got up off the couch and headed towards the exit. I spun on my heel and faced the Baron once more, "Tell you what, if I, at any time, decide to help the Noah over the Black Order, you'll be the first to know that I've done so, deal?" I said with a smirk._

_He leaned back into his chair and poured himself a cup of tea, gradually adding a few too many sugars to it. "Deal."_

_I placed one foot in front of the other fell face first into a mop._

"_Oh right, forgot to tell you that's the janitors closet that I store all the tools I use to keep this place spotless. The exit is actually over there." Out of the corner of my now in pain eye, I saw him point towards the window that I hadn't noticed before._

_With a groan, I got up on my own two legs and walked towards it. "So, what? I just jump out the window to get out of here?" I asked._

"_This is your mind first and foremost. Your sense of theatrics, that are actually stupendously superfluous by the way, caused the exit to be through the window. Normally, I'd ask why to just about anyone else, but given that you are more or less me, I can tell just what the answer is." His smirk widened._

_I took a few steps back away from the window, "Yeah, why not?" I said._

_A sprinted, jumping right before impact. The sound of glass shattering actually hurt my ears, but that could be attributed to the glass cutting my whole body as well._

"-Am, wake up Adam. Wake up, we're almost there." Allen was shaking me awake, speaking to me, but something didn't feel right.

It was the feeling that you get when someone is about to kill you or you're about to die or someone you know is about to die, you know, the bad omen-ish feeling that feels like footsteps over your grave? Well, that washed over me, and boy did it wash over thickly.

I visibly shook until I stopped myself, why was I paranoid that something was going to happen?

"IT'S AN AKUMA!" A childish voice screamed from a ways away.

"Allen." I looked at him, no need to tell him twice. He nodded. "Thanks for the lift!" I and Allen said in unison.

We took our cases of stuff that we had stored in safe locations beforehand to prevent us from losing them when we chased the cat with us. We probably weren't going to find this carriage/cart ever again.

"IT'S AN AKUMA! YOU'RE GONNA GET KILLED-"The voice was muffled by something. I presumed by the Akuma killing him at the time.

We ran as fast as our legs could carry us through the streets until we happened upon a group of men and a small child.

"The Akuma? Where is it? Is everyone ok?" Allen said as we came around the corner.

I had already invoked my Innocence in preparation and made my pistol. Better to activate level 2 and be safe than sorry.

I un-invoked my innocence, false alarm. Though, I didn't drop my guard. Something was off here. But I couldn't put my finger on it, quite.

"There's no Akuma here." Both me and Allen sweat dropped at that.

"See Jan; just because you said you were gonna get killed." Thwack! The adult hit the kid over the head with his fist.

"Sorry, it was this guy's fault." The said pointing at the child. This just heightened my suspicions. But I still couldn't put my finger on what was troubling me about the situation.

"He was screaming about an Akuma, and messing with the adults." The said man adjacent to the one that thwacked the kid.

The kid rubbed the back of his head, "I'm not just playing around, idiot! There really is an Akuma!" I glazed over the group and noticed something suspicious. Why was it out of everyone there, that the homeless looking man was nervous? Surely, if he was anyone reasonable than that meant he wouldn't believe in a child stories about Akuma, would he?

Then it hit me, what had been bothering me. Out of all the kinds of monsters to say is attacking you, why an Akuma? Akuma aren't even that well known, besides Japan of course, in Japan Akuma means 'Demon'. Why wouldn't he say that the 'Boogie-man' or 'A Werewolf' or even a 'Vampire' was attacking him? A broad term such as a monster would have been a child's instinctual reaction to seeing something freaky. The average non-Japanese person probably didn't even know of Akuma's existing.

The child wasn't lying, but in the time that I hadn't been paying attention the child had been ranting.

"…Me like a kid!" I zoned out on the conversations once more. Invoking my innocence, I was going to do one test to make sure that I was either right or wrong.

I walked straight up to the homeless man, and said "Top of the evening." My eyes narrowed down to mere slits, "Akuma."

I pointed my gun at him just as he took the kid hostage.

"Too easy." BANG! The bullet went straight into his forehead, blowing his mechanism parts out the back of his head.

I practically threw the kid away from the explosion. I un-invoked my innocence and turned around to see the expression of half a dozen stunned people, Allen included, and one child that looked as if he had just gotten an Xbox (Xbox for life, PS3 SUX! – _Anonymous/Adam_) for Christmas.

"W-what on earth was that?" The bald man wearing suspenders said. All the other adults were shaking in their boots, so to speak.

"That was an Akuma. And that Exorcist there just destroyed it." The child said smugly. "SEE! TOLD YA SO!" The child shouted.

Allen sweat dropped, "How did you know that he was an Akuma? You don't have a cursed eye like me last time I checked." Allen said, puzzled.

I smirked, "Out of everyone here, he was the only one that was nervous about the child's Akuma accusations. Why would any rational adult believe a child unless he knew that they existed? As a test, just to make sure, I went straight up to it and said "Top of the evening. Akuma" and when he took the child hostage, I _knew _that he was the Akuma, as indicated by the fact he exploded." I said. Bragging wasn't my thing but it sure was fun.

The child, whose name I just remembered was Jan given that was what the other adults called him, tackled me to the ground.

"An Exorcist! (In the background I could hear Allen saying "But I'm an Exorcist too…") Wow, it's the first time I've ever seen one! Was that the Anti-Akuma weapon? Can I see?"

I was stunned for a second before I recovered, "Uh, sure. Can you get off of me first though?" I said.

He practically teleported off of me he was so hyperactive.

After dusting myself off, I rolled up the sleeve on my right arm to show him my entirely black forearm. But something was different. It was longer, it had spread further up my arm, reaching my shoulder blade.

Putting a poker face when all I wanted to do was stand there and stare, I demonstrated my ability by conjuring up a ball of fire and throwing in into the air.

Jan turned his head to side, like a dog would when they didn't understand what was happening, "But, you used a gun to shoot the Akuma, why can you make a fireball as well?"

"My Innocence allows me to conjure physical stuff out of flames see." As I spoke I summoned my pistol. "This gun is only basic, what me to show you something really cool?"

Jan's eyes instantly light up like a Christmas tree at that.

I concentrated, better to try out my idea in theory to see if it works at all first, right?

Whoosh! A fully automatic G18 with 50 Cal. Rounds appeared magically in my hands.

"Now stand back, 'cuz this is the first time I've tried this out." I said.

"Uh, are you sure it's safe?" Allen asked nervously.

"Don't be such a killjoy shortstack!" Jan said.

"Shortstack?" Allen said, before becoming depressed.

I aimed it straight at the sky, and fired dozens of rounds into the sky.

It was a massive amount of firework-like explosions that showered sparks and created overall a presentation that Jan probably wouldn't be forgetting for a long time. At this point, and Adults had run in fear from me.

"So cool!" Jan said, almost sounding like a schoolgirl.

A few minutes after the awesome-tastic presentation of power I showed Jan, Allen started chatting up Jan about how he knew about Akuma. We walked as we talked.

"My dad is a scientist for the Vatican. But he's _never_ home, due to work. I was bored so I started to read his science notes, and that's where I learned about Akuma!" Jan said, skating whilst talking.

"Why would they allow him to do that?" I asked.

"What'dya mean?" Jan asked.

"I mean, why would they allow him to send confidential information, such as science notes, to an unsecured location? They undoubtedly know that he has a son, you, Jan, so why would they send information that is need to know and such when there is prying eyes about?" I said.

Jan shrugged, "I dunno, maybe they're just so dumb that they didn't think of it like that. Maybe they should hire you as a scientist as well so that they can add a few more IQ points to the higher-ups!" Jan said giddily.

"It's just suspicious is all." I said with a sigh.

"Adam, you do raise a good point. If Central is anything like Master describes them, then they wouldn't make a folly like that for no good reason." Allen interjected.

"That's what I'm saying!" I said with a small amount of relief.

"Anyway, as I was saying." Jan started before purposely coughing loud enough to get our attention. "I hope that one day I'll also become one of the best scientists in the world, so I can make a weapon that will instantly remove an Akuma!" Jan said happily.

Jan's eyes narrowed at both me and Allen, "Anyways…"

"What?" Both I and Allen said in unison.

"I didn't know Exorcists could be so physically weak." I could practically hear Allen's anxiety hit him over the head with a rock.

"My image of an Exorcist was a macho man. You're completely the opposite, Allen, and, hey wait, what IS your name?" Jan asked.

"Two things." I raised two of my fingers. We all stopped walking.

"One…" I picked up Jan with my pinkie finger and tossed him into the air, catching him with my left hand.

"….Looks can be deceiving." I put Jan down as he patted himself down to get the dust off of him. "Akuma are very much testament to that. Two, my name is Adam Phoenix Millennium-" I saw Jan's eyes widen in retaliation to my last name, "-and yes it is awkward to be an Exorcist with the last name Millennium. Actually, me and Allen aren't really Exorcists yet, we've trained under one of the five generals, General Marian Cross – he is a man by the way, thought I'd just let you know that – who is the guy that I got the idea of a gun based weapon from. He has a freakin' HUGE revolver the size of his head that fires bullets faster than you can blink. He draws it out just as fast by the way, and now we're heading over to the European branch to officially join." I said.

"He's also a womaniser, an alcoholic, a gambler, and a demon. You should just see the size of the debts he left for us!" The devil horns were poking out of Allen's head again, which could only mean thing; stay out of his way.

"Ok Allen, just calm down." I raised my hand reassuringly, and leaned in close to Jan's ear, "One suggestion Jan, don't ever mention Cross to Allen. He distinctly remembers training worse than I do." I whispered.

"Oh really? What'd Cross do to you two?" The horns expanded two fold at that.

"For one." Allen said furiously. I gulped; this was going south rather quickly. "He made us work to the bone just to pay off his debts!"

"Yeah, but because we are Parasite-type accommodators we ended up being in just as much debt as we started with. We went from place to place; both I and Allen finally agreed on the fact that we were going to die because Cross was going to work us to the bone. Thinking back on it now, it seems really silly; I actually enjoyed my training because of all the different places and things we did. In fact that one time, in the mines….." I slowly trailed off my voice just as Allen looked as if he was going to explode.

"Ok ok, let's just forget about Cross for a second, ok Allen? Just breathe in through your nose." I breathed in deeply, gesturing for Allen to do the same, "And out with your mouth." I breathed out from my mouth.

I elbowed Jan, "Do it as well, or Allen's going to kill us for mentioning Cross." I said in a harsh whisper.

Jan didn't even respond verbally, he just nodded and breathed in and out as I did to calm Allen down.

"Breath in through your nose." I breathed in through my nose for what felt like the thousandth time, "And out through your mouth." And I breathed out for what felt like the thousandth time.

Jan was doing the same as me to help, and it was working. Eventually, we got Allen under control. He stopped fuming, but I made a note to buy some kind of Chill Pill (Or rather get the science department to make one) for Allen when he gets like that.

We continued walking, Jan talking to us again as we did so.

"How many Akuma have you destroyed so far?" Jan asked.

"I'm guessing, somewhere close to, do you mean life time or as in during Cross training?" I asked.

"Life time, I guess." Jan said.

"Life time would be…." I trailed off thinking it over.

Alright, add up the Akuma I killed at the motel (Which blew up by the way if you remember) and you'd get two, plus all the Akuma that I killed during Cross's training, and you'd roughly get 17. Now, take all the Akuma I've killed before going back into the past and that becomes uncountable. Or rather, I stopped counting after five-hundred Akuma.

"17." I lied.

"Really? That attack that you used to shooting all those bullets into the sky looked pretty strong." Jan said.

"As I said, looks can be deceiving. That thing was actually pretty weak. I doubt it would even hurt anything beyond a level 1 Akuma. And only with repeated shots could it have killed one." I wasn't lying actually. I still lacked complete self-control; I could still only go quarter or full power, so I used half power.

In actuality, if I had used full power it would kill a level 2 in repeated shots. I wouldn't even dent a Level 3 though, as it wasn't refined enough (By that I mean that I didn't put so much energy into every single shot, it's just a way to clear out large groups of level 1's and possibly 2's) to get through their thick armour.

"So does that mean you are actually pretty weak for an Exorcist?" Jan asked.

I sweat dropped, that wasn't how I thought he would interpret it.

"Not necessarily. I poured my energy into hundreds of bullets and such, so mathematically I'm pretty strong." I said.

"Oh. Ok, never mind that, how did you get your Anti-Akuma weapon?" Jan asked.

I stopped.

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**Author's notes: DUN DUN DUUUUUUN! How will Adam explain it to the kid that he killed his parents because of his Innocence?**

**I hope you people liked Adam's super-sleuthing 'cuz it'll be showing up time and time again. And for those that think that the whole G18 demonstration is OOC for Adam, let me elaborate:**

**Adam is acting out a persona, his persona that he acts out is one that can be super serious at one moment and showboating the next. He doesn't act he just is smart. The sometimes-changing-the-past-isn't-a-good-thing will come up soon. Maybe next chapter? Maybe next year? Who knows? I certainly don't, I just make up dis shiz as I go along.**

**A quick reminder that I update once every two days for those that didn't know as well.**

**With that, 'cho I'm out.**


	11. Talking With Jan: THE EPIC II

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

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_Chapter 11: Talking With Jan: THE EPIC II_

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**Author's notes: Bet cha'll didn't expect another chapter the very next day, huh?**

**The previous chapter ended abruptly, so I decided to make this chapter come out a day early as a way of apologising!**

**Adam: You're over working me, Author**

**Me: Remember that I can make you into a woman at any time. In fact, give me a second. *Starts typing on computer***

**Adam: What are you doing?**

**Me: Harcore XXX Gay tentacle erotica porn staring YOU, Adam.**

**Adam: *Portal opens up beneath Adam* NOOOOOOOOOO!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray-man. Yet. My master minded plot to conquer Hoshino's country and have her hand over the D. Gray-man series to me will come to close soon! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

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"That, is not something I have fond memories of, Jan." I said calmly.

"Why? Come one, tell me! The suspense is killing me!" Jan said overenthusiastically.

Allen shot Jan a glare and shook his head. "Jan, don't ask too many questions. Especially about Adam's past. Let's just say that Adam's childhood wasn't the brightest. And actually, while on the topic, Jan, just like that last Akuma, you shouldn't do anything that will get the creators attention. It's dangerous." Allen said.

_Oh, this is just ironic. "Don't attract the creator's attention", well, I'd say that you already got mine._

I smirked, it may be dark humour but still, it was ironic none the less.

Jan turned to me, I could see it in his eyes that he wanted someone to say that Allen was wrong.

I sighed. "Sorry Jan, Allen's right. It is dangerous, unless you have someone like us to escort you all the time, or you suddenly become an Exorcist like us, then it really is just too dangerous. I could only see this ending one way Jan, you in a body bag." I said grimly.

Jan stared at us, whilst I couldn't discern just what was in his eyes I could tell that he was hurt. His "Role models" just told him to shove off, that would have hurt just about anyone.

"Here." He handed Allen an onion with a wind up handle on it.

"Eh? An onion?" Allen said, just as dumbfounded as me.

The second I heard the ticking, without really thinking I covered my eyes and took a few steps back.

BOOM! The onion exploded into gas. Judging from the smell, it was some kind of onion bomb. I had to hand it to the kid, creating an explosive at just 8 or 9 years old? That takes some skill and natural talent.

"Haha-! It's my own invention, the onion bomb!" Jan said.

I patted Jan on the head, "You know Jan, it takes some serious skill and natural talent to be able to make an explosive at your age. I'm impressed; I think you could definitely achieve being the world's best scientist someday." I said in cheery tone.

I don't think anyone could have missed the sparkle in his eyes as I said that.

"Really? You think so? You don't doubt my ability to fight Akuma like the rest?" He said happily.

I smiled at him, "Jan, I didn't say that you could fight an Akuma but nor did I say that you couldn't. I genuinely think that you of all people could make an artificial Innocence or Anti-Akuma weapon for that matter." I said.

Allen was still choking on the gas in the background, so he tried to say something but more or less came out as ragged breaths and a few grunts.

"So, you're saying that if I make something that could rival or even beat normal Innocence then I can fight Akuma?" He puffed up his chest. "Your faith in me is well placed. I can totally do that without breaking a sweat."

Allen had just recovered from the gas when he started speaking, so he was a little raspy.

"Jan, stop, you shouldn't actively seek out Akuma. They'd kill you easily, so just go back home and stop seeking out Akuma. If we weren't here today you would have been killed." Allen said.

Jan stomped his foot and ran off, I chased after him, "You think I'm just gonna let the Akuma attack us all? Hell no!" Jan shouted whilst skating away.

"What do you 'could have'? I wasn't! Don't treat me like a kid you weakling!" Jan yelled at Allen.

I turned to see Allen slowly shamble towards us, rubbing his eyes as he walked.

After sprinting for a straight minute we ended up at a manor, both me and Jan took a break at the front door to catch our breath.

"Come on Adam; let me show you my room." Jan gestured for me to follow him through the manor.

I nodded, and followed Jan until we reached a room with a 'KEEP OUT' sign on it, along with a skull and cross bones.

After going inside, Jan asked me about the physical properties of Innocence, he said that he needs as much information on Innocence as possible before he could actually experiment with it.

So, I spent the next five minutes answering his questions.

"Alright, it says here in my dad's notes that Innocence is the polar opposite to Dark Matter. Why is it the opposite?" Jan asked.

I leaned back into the chair. "Innocence is, at its most basic level, made using light energy. You know, light itself. The sunlight that shines in through the window could potentially make Innocence, but it is still unknown how innocence is made." I smirked, "maybe you'll be the one to find out how to make Innocence, Jan. Anyway, Dark Matter is made using Dark energy. The absence of light creates energy on its own, in a sense, Innocence is the embodiment of something that all humans hold precious –a beacon of light, hope- and Dark Matter is the embodiment of what all humans fear; nothingness." I said.

"Wow! Really! I didn't know that! Tell me everything that you do and you don't know about Innocence!" Jan said happily.

I paused, "how would I know what I don't know about Innocence?" I asked.

Jan sweat dropped, "good point. You're smarter than you look, you know that?"

"Why thank you Jan. I appreciate the word of a friend." I said.

He smiled back at me before resuming with his serious face (That made him look like he was crapping himself) and asking me questions.

"Okay, what shape does Innocence take naturally? Like, when the Black Order originally found it, was it like an ore vein, or….?"

"Innocence is actually a cube when found. But it takes on many different shapes depending on the Anti-Akuma weapon. Allen's left arm, for instance, actually turns into a giant silver claw that he uses to either grab and crush or slice and destroy Akuma, as you already know, my Anti-Akuma weapon allows me to conjure up flames into a physical object. You even potentially could get an Anti-Akuma weapon that would, say, just a random example, vibrate the Akuma to destroy them. Creating a resonance so strong that Akuma simply fall apart, for instance." I said.

"Okay, good, good. Now one more thing, is it possible to manually trigger the phenomenon that Innocence usually is found from?" Jan asked.

"Manually triggering a phenomenon? Well, theoretically it's possible, I mean it hasn't been done before, but maybe you should research it to make sure it works? All great scientists start out with a theory of what would happen before they try it out for real." I said.

"Hm, I predict that eventually I'll find a way to manually trigger a massive storm to wipe out huge amounts of Akuma. There, that enough of a 'theory' for ya?" Jan said with a smile.

Before I could answer with anything more than a smirk, there was a knock on the door.

"Mister….Mister Jan, a guest is at the door, do you hear me? Mr Jan!" Said a voice form behind the door.

You know, as someone that is actually a Noah, I can sense Innocence, of a sort. Due to the Innocence I have for my right arm, it sort of messes with my ability to sense Innocence. However, if its close enough, like say 2 or so metres away, then I can sense it.

I sensed innocence just as the door opened.

"Leo!" Said Jan happily.

Leo? Why does his name sound familiar?

_Oh, Leo, THAT boy. I remember him. He's the Akuma I created that turned out to actually meet Allen Walker when he tried to kill Jan, albeit, why can I, or rather, why can WE sense Innocence? How have you distorted time this time, Adam?_

Hey, don't look at me; I didn't intentionally do any of this.

The boy that I could only presume was Leo stepped into the room and stopped as saw me.

I stopped when I saw him as well.

"You, that kid. The Millennium Earl." I said, shocked.

I cleared my throat, "So, how are your wounds treating you, Leo? Last time I saw you, you weren't breathing and at the front desk of a hospital. I thought you died." I said.

Leo just stopped and stared at me. It was Jan that broke the silence. "No way! You're the guy that saved Leo from the Millennium Earl? But Leo said that it was a giant werewolf made of flames. How did you do that?" Jan asked giddily. "Can you show me that big werewolf form? How did your fight against the Millennium Earl go? Did you win, did you lose, _badly_?"

"M-my wounds are treating me fine, Mister Exorcist." Leo said shakily.

"That werewolf form was, again, an experimental technique. I don't think it would be safe to use it indoors either." I said to Jan. "And glad to hear that, Leo. It's nice to see that as a destroyer I could save at least one person." I said with a smile.

"Ooh! I know! Let's go outside! And then you can show us your werewolf form!" Jan said as more of an order than a demand.

"Fine with me." I said.

"You, Leo?" I added.

"I still can't believe that the same person that saved me from the Earl is actually here right now, talking with my best friend, Jan. I have to say." He stepped up closer to me. "Thank you for saving me from myself. At the time, all I wanted to do was just, die. So I grieved at the gravestone of my mother, waiting for the Earl, and when he did show up, I was relieved. But then, you saved me from him, and at first I hated you for taking away my opportunity to be with my mother one last time, but after that, I realised that my life wasn't completely worthless as I thought. Because." He took out a small cube that glowed green, with rings around it, out of his pocket. "It turns out I'm an Accommodator to Innocence." Leo finished with a smile.

My jaw dropped faster than I would have even realised.

"Ac-ac-ac-ac-ac-commo-mo-mo-mo-modator?" I stuttered.

"What's your Anti-Akuma weapon? What can you do? Are you really strong yet?" Jan asked.

I idea popped into my head, a rather ludicrous one but still, an idea none the less.

"I can think of a way to answer those questions Jan, plus showing you my werewolf form." I said with a sly grin.

{**Time skip**}

"Uh, you sure this is safe?" Leo asked nervously.

"Quit worrying Leo! This is most likely safe and you're only going to let Jan down if you don't!" I yelled form my place 50 paces away.

"Ready…" Jan started.

I cracked my neck, and I could practically hear Leo's fears bubbling inside of him.

"Steady…" Jan added.

We were outside the manor, behind it actually.

"Go!" Just as Jan said it I invoked my Innocence to level three.

I braced myself for the pain that usually comes with using my level three werewolf transformation (I dubbed it "Lycanthropy Mode" for various reasons, one of them being to piss my Innocence off since it had proclaimed it as 'Hellhound' without my consent.) and yet it did not come.

I was so shocked by this that Leo had already tried three times to invoke his Innocence and had yet to succeed.

Shaking myself from my shock, I ran at Leo with only a quarter of my maximum speed. No need to be harsh.

I slashed were Leo was and came up with air. What? I could have sworn…

And then it hit me. Literally. Leo came out of nowhere and kicked me straight in the back of my knee.

Teleportation, optical illusions or super speed. That's what I had it narrowed down to.

Albeit it didn't matter, because the second his leg touched my leg his pant legs caught on fire.

Leo screamed as his leg was on fire, but I just un-invoked my innocence and the fire was put out.

So, I was right. My theory that all flames spread by me were putout-able if I un-invoked my Innocence. This means that my parent's deaths were even more on my head than ever. I sighed, depressing thoughts and self-loathing can come later.

"You ok, Leo?" I extended my hand, "You fought against a superior opponent and los-AHHH!" The little bugger Leo pulled me onto the ground as well and pinned me.

He grinned, "I win." It was true. We had it as whoever forfeited first or was pinned first lost.

"You won, you sly little, person you." I said with a smile. "Although, can you get off of me?" I asked.

He climbed off of me quickly.

I patted myself down from having fallen straight into dirt. I was covered in dirt. My back was anyway.

"What's your Anti-Akuma weapon? Teleportation? Super Speed? Optical illusions?" I asked.

"Well, I can make people see things." Leo said.

"That's what an optical illusion is, Leo." I said.

"Right, I'll keep that in mind." Leo said, scratching the back of his head.

"Uh oh, here comes mister lecturer." Jan sneered.

I looked over to where Jan was looking to see Allen sprinting towards us.

"Can't wait to tell Allen that we found another Innocence Accommodator so close to home. Where did you find the piece of Innocence, by the way Leo?" I said.

"At the hospital I was staying at, the cube just fly in threw the window, into my hands. I don't know where it came from though." Leo said. "But since then, it won't come off." He added. To demonstrate this, he tried pulling the Innocence off of his left hand. It wouldn't budge.

"It seems like it's trying to merge with your hand and become a parasite type. But that's just a guess though, it probably is in fact Equipment type but it might simply not want to leave you, Leo." I said.

"Doesn't want to leave me? Well, that's a first." Leo said darkly.

"Adam! Jan! There you are! We have to get out of here, right now. There's a horde of Akuma that are heading our way-"Allen stopped and stared at Leo's hand. He turned to me, "is he a…?" Allen said.

"Yep. He can make optical illusions with his Innocence." I said.

Allen turned his head to the side like a lost puppy, "what?"

I face-palmed, "an optical illusion is an illusion that you see, with your eyes." I said.

"What were you saying about Akuma?" Leo asked.

"Oh right. There's a horde of Akuma coming this way. At least 30 of them." Allen said.

"Look! There!" Jan said.

Before our very eyes were a small horde of Akuma, all of them level 1's.

"Well Leo, it looks like your time as an Exorcist comes early. We're gonna need you for this fight." I said.

"Need me? Why could you possibly need from me?" Leo asked.

"You illusions could make the Akuma shoot each other. In fact, do you think you could try it right now?" I said.

He nodded shakily, "I'll try" He pointed his hand up at the horde of Akuma.

After a few moments, nothing happened, but then, one pointed its guns towards the one beside it. This continued like a domino effect until all of the Akuma were pointing there weapons at each other.

BOOM! One Akuma one the one beside it, and within seconds of that one, BOOM! Another Akuma went down.

Pretty soon, the sky was filled with purple explosions and bullets. In ended within a single minute, with one lone Akuma being the only one alive after the massacre.

"Adam, if you would do the honour." Allen said.

"Certainly." I said.

Conjuring up a fire ball, I shot it straight at the Akuma. BOOM! Down in flames it went.

"Congratulations Leo. Welcome to the Black Order, well, not yet anyway." I said.

"Unfortunately, you have to come with us, Leo. To the Black Order." Allen said.

"But, what about my family? What about my Uncle, and my Aunt? They'll surely miss me, and I don't want to leave them, either." Leo said.

"Leo, if you stayed with you Uncle and Aunt, they would be a constant target in order to get at you. The Millennium Earl is a ruthless as he is cunning. You need to be brave, and come with us. If you don't, we can't guarantee your Uncle and Aunt's safety." Allen said.

Had to hand it to Allen, he could make prison sound better than a five star hotel.

He had 100 in speech, but only one in Charisma, as they say.

Leo bit his lip, "If it means they'll be safe, I'll come with you." Leo said.

"Leo." Jan said.

Both Leo and Jan shook hands, "The next time I see you Leo, I sweat that I'll be the greatest scientist of all time!" Jan said bravely.

"And the next time I see you, Jan, I'll be the greatest Exorcist ever!" Leo said.

A sudden memory of me and my brother played through my mind.

"_Bro, I swear that one day, I'll become the strongest Exorcist of all time!" My little brother said._

"_You won't do that, 'cuz I'll become the strongest Exorcist ever brother!" I said._

The memory ended and a brief flash of pain went through my chest. It still hurts to think of my brother, I realised.

Before we could leave though, Leo had to explain it to his Aunt and Uncle.

We escorted Leo to his home. It was a rather decent sized apartment with three bedrooms. I assumed it for each one of the people staying here.

"Uncle, Auntie, I, I have to go with these people to protect you." A tear fell out of his eye, "thanks for being there for me when no one else was."

Leo's Uncle and Aunt were sitting on the couch opposite to us, for some odd reason, his Uncle was crying and his Aunt was comforting him.

Interesting couple, I thought.

_Ah yes, indeed they are interesting._

What is it that you want, Baron?

_I don't want anything; can't a fella just speak with his servant any time he wants?_

Yes, but not unless you want something. Just what is it that you want?

_Well, there's this one teeny tiny thing that I want._

What is it?

_I want a plasma screen TV._

What? But those aren't even invented yet!

_I don't mean a physical one. I want one for inside of here; it gets rather dull doing nothing in here 24/7. Besides, if I had a plasma 72 inch screen TV I wouldn't bother you as much._

I internally sighed.

Fine, just how do I give you a plasma screen TV?

_You simply need to imagine one spontaneously appearing in the room that I'm in._

Alright, done.

_Thanks. There some midsummer murders that I have to catch up on, so if you don't mind…._

I could hear a TV faintly in the background being switched on.

I could hear someone munching on popcorn as well.

Baron, where did you get popcorn?

_Muffin button._

What?

_Nothing. It was just here so I decided to eat it whilst watching midsummer murders._

Again, I internally sighed.

Alright, but you better not annoy me anymore, got it?

_As a servant, I should backhand you for speaking to me in such a manner. However, given our situation, I don't think it's physically possible._

Right.

"Alright, come on Leo that should be everything that you were meaning to say, isn't it?" Allen said, breaking me out of thinking.

"Huh? Oh right, come one Leo, we should get going." I said.

All three of us stood up and headed for the door.

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**Author's notes: Leo is an accommodator? DUN DUN DUUUUUUN! But wait, I said there'd be a sad ending for Leo, but this clearly isn't it. I wonder how his life is ended? Hm...**

**What did you guys think of the time skip? It's actually my first time skip, EVARZ, so let me know if you think it was used appropriately PLOX.**

**Since things are brightening up again, I decided to go with some slight humour here. I truly am sorry for the abrupt ending, again.**

**The next chapter will released tommorrow as compensation, 'kay?**

**After tommorrow, the schedule will go back to the normal once every two days. **

**Rate review and subscribe people! Don't forget to go to my profile page and vote on how the relationship between Adam and Lenalee turns out!**

**Laterz, I'm out.**


	12. The Front Gate: A Pentagram on my WHAT?

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

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_Chapter 12: The Front Gate: A Pentagram On My WHAAAAT?_

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**Author's notes: Since this one ends (Again) on a small cliff hanger, IE Adam Allen and Leo getting adjusted into the order sort of flows from this point in time.**

**So, again, because I feel that I'm letting you guys down, I'll work myself to the bone once more to get the next chapter out tomorrow. Yes, I know I said that I would resume my usual schedule but fug it. I've got too much free time anyway now that I'm on holidays here in Australia. Now if you don't mind I need a Coke can and a dose of humour fanfics to keep myself from passing due to the constant typing.**

**Disclaimer: D. Gray-man is going to be mine in few days. My army of the Black Knights have Japan surrounded. Soon, I will destroy the Britannian armada, and then, D. GRAY-MAN WIL BE MINE! MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**On with the story...**

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"Adam! You ok down there?" Allen yelled.

"I'm just-"A rock that I put all my weight on broke off, causing me to panic grab another rock a couple of feet away. "-Peachy." I finished.

"Hey! Don't forget that there are two of us here!" Leo shouted right in my ear.

"I haven't forgotten that I'm carrying you Leo-"I realised something, I face palmed myself using my free hand. I invoked my innocence. "-On second thought, hold on tight Leo, this is going to be dangerous." I said enthusiastically.

I felt Leo's grip on my back tighten. That was all I needed as a go ahead.

I conjured up a massive elevator beside me, floating in mid-air.

In front of the elevator was a platform for me to land on after jumping. I wasn't sure if this was going to sustain my weight, but oh well.

I imagined the sound of eagle as I made a leap of faith onto the platform….

…And it didn't cave in. That was good.

The doors on the elevator opened automatically. Well, actually I made it move using my ability to control the Innocence flame but hey, details, details.

I pushed the button that said 'Top floor' and waited as elevator music played. I passed Allen who was still climbing the wall and waved at him through the see through glass front door of the elevator.

He looked at me, shocked but then shrugged as the elevator surpassed him.

Calmly and orderly, I stepped out of the elevators and told Leo that he could stop holding onto me, he slid off my back and landed on the dirt path that lead to the European branch.

20 seconds later, Allen came up over the side, grumbling about who would put the building all the way up here.

With a grunt, Allen pulled himself up over the side. "I, I finally made it." Allen said relieved.

"About time slowpoke. I and Adam were just about to set up camp waiting for you." Leo said with a sly grin.

"Still." I said, looking up at the momentous building. "We made it, to the headquarters of the Exorcists."

"'The Black Priests.'" Allen finished for me.

Leo looked at both of us before yelling "What are we waiting for? Come on!" He gestured for us to follow him as he ran off towards the front door.

As we were walking, I could see the fearful expression on Allen's face, "Or is it? I've heard stories, but… the surroundings sure have a weird feeling to them. Is this really the right place, Adam, Tim campy?" Allen said, looking at me.

The branch was in a completely different location to what it was in modern day. The modern day one was more akin to a fish bowl than anything. With its round exterior and curved corridors, the place was perfectly circular.

This place though, was perfectly layered. The widest layer at the bottom, with each level getting smaller and smaller as it went upwards.

Why does the Black Order have a fascination with interesting shapes?

"Anyway Adam, we should get going; Leo's probably going to get himself into trouble again." To clarify; Leo had run his big mouth and gotten us into trouble twice already along the way here. The first time, he mouthed off at a mobster that had knocked Leo over, the second time, Leo tripped and fell onto a woman's skirt, ripping it off. The woman's husband tried to beat Leo quite severely. Allen though wouldn't let him, so he rescued Leo and ran off with me.

I sighed; caring for a kid that had a mouth where his brain should be was going to be difficult.

A black golem flapping caught my attention, and I instinctively reached out and grabbed it.

"The heck is this?" I asked more to myself than anything. Realising that it was a golem, I released it and watched it fly a few feet away from me, following both me and Allen as we walked.

_**Meanwhile, inside of the Surveillance room at the Black Order…**_

"No no no, you can't let outsiders come in here~~" Said Komui, holding his cup of coffee. "Why didn't you stop from grabbing the golem? And how did he even notice the golem when it was so dark out?" Komui added, and asked.

"Oh, supervisor Komui." Said a stunned Reever. "These guys seem to be a little different than normal outsiders. That guy wearing the red tie and tailored vest for instance, he caught the golem, a _black _golem might I add, when it was dark out. He's to some serious night vision eyes."

"But, I just said that." Komui said in a low voice, slightly depressed. A thought crossed his mind, no! I can't be sad in front of my dear sweet Lenalee! He thought, holding his fist up in the air.

"Look here, brother!" Said Lenalee.

(**A/N**: **I've got the Manga open side by side with this word document and DAMN is Lenalee fine. Lecherous thoughts is what you get Lenalee when you bend over like that, so you only have to blame yourself Lenalee!**)

"That boy, the one with the red bow tie. He's accompanied by General Cross's golem." Said Lenalee, pointing at Tim campy, flying beside Allen.

_**Back outside with Adam Allen Leo and Tim Campy (Deep breath) at the front gate of the Black Order…**_

"Excuse me." Allen began, speaking into the black golem that followed behind us.

"We were sent here by priest," Allen grumbled something that I could only recognise as 'Despicable' and 'Devil', "Cross Marian. I'm Allen Walker; beside me is Adam Phoenix Millennium-"

Before they could gasp I said, "Yes it is awkward to be an Exorcist and have the last name Millennium." I said quickly and then breathed a sigh of relief.

Allen looked at me with a raised eyebrow before catching on, with a silent 'Oh right. Duh' that I'm pretty sure was aimed at himself, he continued. "We would like to discuss some issues with the priests."

In front of us was a rather odd looking gate. No weirder then the gate that was at the North American branch modern day, I can assure you.

The black gates beside it had giant black cross engraved in them. Rivet looking things were embedded in them at odd intervals.

Compared to, say, the front gate of the North American branch modern day, which had a freakin' MASSIVE cross that split in two to allow people to enter.

_**Back at the surveillance room and stuff…**_

Murmur from the room could be distinguished as people saying "A friend of the general!" Another said "He's still alive after all!"

"The boy is saying that he and his friend are to be "Introduced". Supervisor, have you heard anything?" Said Reever.

"…" There was an awkward silence before Komui responded. He took a sip from his coffee.

"…Nope." He finally said.

_**Back outside (Again, *sigh*, these cuts are getting tiring. I might as well just remove these in the final product (New AN: About that past me…)) with Allen Adam Leo and Tim campy.**_

"Take examination from the gatekeeper behind you" Said a voice coming from the golem.

Both I and Allen turned around to see the gate keeper. Along with someone else in a very precarious spot.

Leo had somehow managed to get on top of the door.

"LEO! GET DOWN HERE NOW! YOU COULD GET SERIOUSLY INJURED!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. I could hear people falling over coming from the golem, so I must have startled some people because of my shout. I can apologise later, I thought.

"LEO! IF YOU DON'T GET DOWN HERE IN 5 SECONDS, I WILL CLIMB THAT GATE AND RIP YOU A NEW ONE!" I threatened.

"5!" I started.

"Make me!" Leo responded, sticking out his tongue.

I invoked my innocence.

"4!" I said.

"3!"

"2!" I had already conjured a fireball when Allen tapped me on the shoulder.

"Adam. Don't do anything rash now." Allen said calmly.

I didn't care; I was acting like I was pissed because it was what my persona would do.

The devil horns sort of came out on their own. "Do you think I care?" I whispered harshly. Allen seemed to back away in fear for a second.

"1!" I shouted.

I threw the fireball at Leo, only for it to pass through him.

"Son of a…" I never got to finish my statement because before Leo knocked me over.

"Ha! That's for remarking about my smart mouth you creep!" Leo yelled at me, triumphantly.

"LEOOOOOOO!" I screamed at the top of my lungs and into space from my position of Leo sitting on me.

"Leo, it's not nice to tackle people and trick them into thinking that you could have been seriously hurt. You made me worry that you could have been hurt." Allen said disapprovingly at Leo.

"Now get off of Adam, he's probably in a lot of pain right now, right, Adam?" Allen added.

"I'm not that weak, Shortstack. And I just want Leo to get off of me, not to beg and plead for him to." I said.

"I'm not short." Allen said depressingly.

"Now look what you've done Adam, you've made shortstack cry. I'll make you feel just as much pain as he does!" Leo stood up and tried to jump and land on me only to land ass first in dirt as I rolled away.

"Haha! I beat you!" I said triumphantly.

"Yes, you've successively beaten a 9 year old. Also, you could have hurt Leo if he actually was on top of the gate!" Allen said.

"Shut it Allen!" Both I and Leo said in unison.

Allen sweat dropped and hunched over a little, I could already tell what he was thinking. 'It's going to be a long night'.

_**What the people in the surveillance room were thinking whilst this was going down…**_

"They're complying." Said Reever.

"Yes. It seems so-"Komui was interrupted by a loud booming voice.

"LEO! GET DOWN HERE NOW! YOU COULD GET SERIOUSLY INJURED!" Said a voice through the golem.

Half of the people in the room fell over at the sound, and Reever fell out of his chair. Even Lenalee took a step back.

"Loud, isn't he?" A slightly dishevelled Komui said.

Murmurs from the group of individuals made them all believe that was the common opinion.

"Focus the golem on what he's yelling at." Said a slightly injured Reever.

The person operating the golem nodded, and zoomed in at the top of the gate.

"LEO! IF YOU DON'T GET DOWN HERE IN 5 SECONDS, I WILL CLIMB THAT GATE AND RIP YOU A NEW ONE!" Said the same booming voice from before. This time nobody budged.

"Brother, I don't see anything." Said Lenalee.

"It's just air." Added Reever.

"5!"

"What was that?" Asked Komui.

"I think he's…"

"4!"

"…Counting down, brother." Said a confused Lenalee.

"3!"

"Counting down to what?" Komui asked.

"If I remember correctly he said 'If you don't get down here in 5 seconds I will climb that gate and rip you a new one.'" Said Reever.

Lenalee just nodded.

"2!"

"But what about the chance that he's counting down to an explosive that he hid in the Black Order?" Said Komui plainly.

Dead silence as everyone considered the possibility.

"1!"

Without even thinking he ran over to Lenalee and hugged her, "I LOVE YOU MY DEAR SWEET LENALEE! I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT IF THIS TRULY OUR LAST FEW MOMENTS ON THIS EARTHHHHH!" Said a crying Komui.

A flash of orange – a fireball – came across the golem's vision, hitting an empty space in the air.

Everyone in the room turned to the odd scene of Komui hugging Lenalee. Komui in turn opened his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. He wasn't dead. That was good.

Lenalee however was annoyed, and kicked Komui straight in the jaw, sending him flying into the ceiling.

Reever tugged on Komui's sleeve, a groan was heard in response.

"You still haven't told the gatekeeper to conduct the test yet, supervisor." Said Reever.

Komui fell out of the ceiling like nothing happened. Not even a scratch.

"Right." Said Komui adjusting his glasses. "Gate keeper, scan them, and the little child there." Said Komui, pointing.

Everyone turned to see the child that was staring at Adam with clear anger in his eyes.

"Where did that child come from?" Asked Reever.

Lenalee turned towards Komui who just shrugged as a response. "Gatekeeper, on second thought, hold up on the examination for five minutes." Said Komui.

They talked through the golem.

_**Back at the entrance. Again…**_

"Who's the kid?" Said a voice coming from the golem.

"This 'kid', is Leo Michelangelo Kennedy, thank you very much!" Leo said proudly, with a puffed up chest.

"Why is he with you?" The golem asked.

I took Leo's hand showed it to the golem. Gasps could be heard when they saw the Innocence embedded in his hand.

"We found another accommodator along the way. The Innocence simply doesn't want to be removed from his hand" I said simply.

"Fascinating. I'll have Hevlaska examine it." The golem said.

"Nebraska? Isn't that a country?" I asked, pretending to be dumbfounded.

In truth, all Exorcists knew of Hevlaska and her innocence abilities. In the modern day Black Order we have someone else that has the same ability, her name is Nikeala. It's pronounced nick-ale-ah, by the way. She made sure to drill that into me many a year ago.

"Just take the examination and then we'll able to show you." The golem said slightly angered.

I turned to look at the giant face on the wall; it had words engraved into its chin, 'Gate' and 'Keeper'. Oh, 'Gatekeeper', I realised.

"Hello?" Allen said as more of questions than a statement.

The face came to life and scared the crap out of all of us present. Leo even screamed like a girl.

Its face came unnervingly close to Allen's, then Leo, and then finally resting upon me with its big, bulging eyes.

"X-RAY EXAMINATION. DETERMINING WHETHER SUBJECT IS AKUMA OR HUMAN." Giant rays of light shot out of the Gatekeepers eyes and more or less eradicated my vision for a few seconds.

The Gatekeeper wasn't even examining me! His gaze was staring at Leo, when suddenly…

"EXAMINATION COMPLETE! TARGET IS HUMAN!" Giant tick markers appeared in the Gatekeepers eyes.

The eyes flashed across over to Allen, and then resting on me (Again).

"X-RAY EXAMINATION. DETERMINING WHETHER SUBJECT IS AKUMA OR HUMAN." Rays of light shot out of the Gatekeeper again and actually hurt physical pain as it examined me.

After a few seconds, nothing happened, but then…

"THIS GUY IS OUTTA HERE!" Shouted the Gatekeeper.

"WHAT?" I shouted back at the Gatekeeper.

"THIS GUY IS A BUG! HE HAS A PENTAGRAM ON HIS SHOULDER! THE PENTACLE IS THE MARK OF AN AKUMA! THIS GUY IS ACTUALLY… A FRIEND OF THE MILLENNIUM EARL!"

You know, the definition of Irony is when someone attempts to tell a person one thing, but what they say is different than what they mean. To clarify, I am in fact a friend of the Millennium Earl. Sort of. If you could call it that. But he's saying I must be his friend because I have a pentagram on my shoulder.

I would laugh if this situation wasn't this terrifying.

"INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT!" The Gatekeeper shouted.

I simply glared, mortified at Allen, who gave me the same expression.

I don't think anyone missed how Leo backed up a couple of inches away from me.

"You're, you're a friend, OF THE MILLENNIUM EARL!" Leo said as a statement instead of a question.

"No! It's not like that! I don't even have a pentagram on my shoulder!" I removed my vest to show my left shoulder. No pentagram, none.

"But what about your other shoulder?" Leo said with a sneer.

I showed him my bare right shoulder, expecting nothing on it.

To my surprise, the Innocence on my right arm had spread and formed the shape of a Pentagram on my shoulder.

I backed up a few steps, and froze. How could this be happening? How? When did this happen?

I looked up from my staring to see a shadowy visage appear in the sky, and land on top of the gate.

I didn't care. And this wasn't me acting, this _was _me being shocked. Genuinely, I was shocked at my innocence taking such a shape. Why would it do that?

_Uh, hello, are you paying attention? I think the answer to question is right in front of you._

_Noah._

It hit me the second the Baron said Noah. Was my innocence turning into a pentagram because of my Noah-ness?

Glaring down at me from above was vulture like eyes. They looked like they wanted to kill me and skin me for supper.

"Taking a child hostage along with you? That's a new low, even for the likes of you." Said the visage in a harsh voice.

"Wait! Wait a moment! Adam isn't what you think he is! He's an Exorcist, just like me and Leo!" Allen said, trying to defend me.

I felt it before I saw it, a wave of wind, a blade coming through the air, heading straight for my head.

I dodged to the right, rolling away from the attack.

Allen leaped to my defence, putting his activated arm between me the sword wielding visage that was before me.

"Out of the way, beansprout!" Shouted the samurai-like person.

"Beansprout?" Allen repeated. He backed away and sat down with his head in-between his knees. "I'm not short." He mumbled.

The pony tailed samurai charged at with his blade, I blocked with my Invoked innocence, creating a replica sword.

"I figure, if I fight, I might as well as fight on equal ground!" I yelled as we collided in a sword clash.

He did a quick dash back, and asked me "How the hell did you copy Mugen?"

"It's my Innocence. I can conjure up any physical object that I can think of." I said.

"What? You have Innocence?" The pony tailed sword user said. "GATEKEEPER!" He yelled furiously.

The Gatekeeper began crying profusely.

"But… Well, if I can't determine his insides, how can we know for sure! What if he is an Akuma?" The Gatekeeper said.

I created a giant satchel of C4 and stuck it to his face.

"YOU TRY TELLING ME THAT I'M AN AKUMA AGAIN AND I'LL BLOW YOU SKY HIGH!" I angrily yelled, my eyes twitching, hand on a detonator.

"Adam!" Allen yelled disapprovingly at me. The C4 dispersed.

The horns, again, sort of came out on their own, "stay out of this Allen!"

"GYAAAA~~~! DON'T TOUCH ME, DIMWIT!" The Gatekeeper cried out.

"Hmph… well, whatever." The Samurai said nonchalantly. He drew his blade back, "if I check your insides, we will know for sure! Activate! Anti-Akuma weapon! I shall slice you with this "Mugen"."

The Samurai charged at me, but I had anticipated this.

I raised the detonator, any second now, and, wait for it… NOW-

"Wait! Really, wait! Adam isn't your enemy! You should have gotten a letter of recommendation from Master Cross!" Allen shouted, interrupting my plan.

The samurai stopped in his tracks a few metres from me. He was almost standing on the exact spot I wanted him to stand on. "A letter of recommendation… From the general…?" The samurai said.

"Y-yes, a letter." Allen said shakily. "Addressed to a person named Komui." I snapped my fingers.

"Oh yeah! That letter, forgot about that." I said, smirking.

I had snuck C4 inside of the Samurai's pocket when we clashed. A second longer, and I would have blown the samurai sky high.

_Such a shame, I would have liked to see the plan work. It would have been entertaining to see the Exorcist get disintegrated._

I internally sighed; I sometimes forget that you're not 'the Baron' but the Millennium Earl. Do you enjoy seeing Exorcists suffer, or is it just people in general that you enjoy watching suffer?

_No, I would have just liked to see him get blown sky high. I'm not sadistic; I thought it'd be funny 'tis all._

You sounded disturbingly British for a second.

_That wasn't my intention, luv._

Now you're just mocking me.

_Oh no no no no no no ADAM LOOK AN AKUMA!_

I didn't even flinch.

Haha, very funny. I gave you a TV, a, 72 INCH PLASMA HIGH-DEFINITION TV might I add, and yet here you are annoying me. I thought I told you to leave me alone.

_You did, you did but, it gets rather lonely in here, all by my lonesome._

Now you want me to think up of some imaginary creature in order for you to leave me alone, right?

_You catch on quick, servant._

I internally sighed, anything specific?

_Not really, but it can't be anything stupid. A human being might be nice._

Alright, as you are a Noah, how 'bout I just summon the entire Noah family for you to speak with. Okay?

_That would be just fantastic._

Digging through the Earl's memories of his family, I soon made his entire family appear from nowhere in my head.

_Ah, it is good to see them again. Even the ones that have passed on you managed to bring back. Thank you._

This time, I could actually feel a sensation of warmth behind his thanks; this in turn caused me to lighten up a bit.

Anytime Baron.

I let the flames dispel out of the samurai's pocket, a rising flame that felt as cool as the summer breeze flew straight out of his pocket. I actually felt what the flames felt like when I let it disperse once.

That's what it felt like, granted I was its accommodator, but hey, details, details.

The samurai looked down at his pocket before looking at me, with evil vulture-like eyes, realising what I'd done.

"Kanda! Stop your attack!" The Golem said.

"O. Open the gate?" The Gatekeeper asked, complying.

_**Surveillance room, now…**_

"Hm. Children sent by Cross and a 9 year old accommodator. I'll have fun judging them~." Sang Komui, quietly to himself.

"Lenalee." Said Komui with authority.

"Yes, brother Komui?" Said Lenalee.

"Help me set up. With have three new Exorcists."

* * *

**Author's notes: Adam has a Pentagram made of Innocence on his shoulder? DUN DUN DUNNNNN! Just what is happening to his Innocence. Is it truly JUST because of his Noah-ness? Or is there more depth to his Innocence then that? Adam by the way hasn't any time to ponder what's happened and such, that's kind of why I haven't bothered to go over what Adam has been thinking because it just wouldn't fit given what's going on.**

**For those wondering what Adam looks like: "Tailored vest, dress shirt and slacks generally accompanied by a Coat and a hat; a style which all gentlemen including mobsters wore in the 30's". Put that in Google and it should be the second image that shows up.**

**I also hope you like Leo's personality. Leo is a child so he acts like a child, simply put. That's basically his personality in a nutshell. Albeit, to keep it slightly interesting, he has a dark way of seeing things given his mother's death. He will become a character that has importance later on, but it's up to you guys to realise just what will happen to Leo before it does happen.**

**Review rate and subscribe! I also wanted to know, what did you think of my jump cutting between the gate and the surveillance room? It's actually the first time I've tried to do it so be honest now, did it work well? Did it fail? Etc etc?**

**Laterz, I'm out.**


	13. So, Allen, REALLY funny story

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

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_Chapter 13: So, Allen, REALLY Funny Story_

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**Author's notes: Sooooooo sorry guys that I didn't upload yesterday guys. I left it to too late to work on my next chapter and ended having to go to bed before I was finished. Woops. I've allotted myself more time this time 'round and instead have been working since 5:30. It's currently 8:21, I had to make some changes here and there.**

**Because my conscious (Maybe that's where Suzaku went?) won't leave me alone I'll post TO OWHOLE CHAPTERS tomorrow. How 'bout that? THEN, and only then, will I actually get back to once every two days uploading schedule.**

**REVIEW GOD DAMN YOU! I'VE GOTTEN 617 HITS AND ONLY 6 OF YOU HAVE REVIEWED! HALF OF THOSE WEREN'T EVEN PROPER REVIEWS! REVIEW GODAMNIT! RATE AND SUBSCRIBE EVEN! AHHHHH!**

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"What should we do about the kid?" Asked Reever.

Komui grasped his chin, "Well, he is innocence compatible, but he also is rather young. Hm, all we really can do for him is to make him feel as at home as possible really." Said Komui.

"Brother, how old do you think he is?" Said Lenalee, solemnly.

Komui sighed. Komui had in fact only become a supervisor for the Black Order so that he could be with his sister, Lenalee, as she was taken away from him so that she could be raised as an Exorcist by the Black Order.

He knew that Lenalee could feel the pain of just about anyone child that became an Exorcist, as she was put through the same pain, and more.

"Hm, 9, maybe 10? I don't know, maybe you should ask him yoursel-"Komui didn't even get to finish his sentence as Lenalee blew past him, clipboard in hand, towards the front gate.

* * *

_**Meanwhile, at the front gate entrance thingy…**_

* * *

"Allen Walker. Adam Millennium. Leo, we allow you all to pass." The golem said.

Kanda took a few steps closer towards Leo; I feared the worst and activated my Innocence.

"Wait, wait, Kanda!" The golem said quickly.

Kanda stopped, "Komui." He turned towards the golem, "What is going on here?"

"I'm sorry~. Simply put, these children – with the exception of that little boy over there in the corner gawking at everyone – are Cross's apprentices. He's even dubbed them as 'The Competent Apprentice' and the 'The Incompetent Apprentice' in the letter." I heard him take a breath and some ruffling, he must be moving around.

"Say sorry, River Squad Leader. Go on, go on." The golem said.

"YOU MAKE IT SOUND LIKE IT WAS ALL MY FAULT!" The golem shouted, almost splitting my ears.

"Tim Campy is with them, that is the proof. He is on our side." The golem said, now calm.

Whilst I was staring at golem, a girl with a metal clipboard came on by thwacked Kanda on the head.

"Gosh~." She said disapprovingly. "I told you to stop!" (That's what she said. Quite literally, actually. – _Adam_) **(New AN: Christ, how did I miss the 'that's what she said' joke originally? IT'S SO OBVIOUS! */Gives up on life*)** It was incredibly awkward for pretty much everyone there.

Kanda, given his anger at being hit, was obviously hit constantly and he interpreted it as a sign of weakness.

Allen just stopped and stared as I was currently doing. We both didn't know what was happening.

Leo, well, Leo was still cowering in fear, and amazed, behind the rather convenient rock far away from all of us, and from Kanda. I think he was just as wowed by him as he feared him.

I didn't blame him, Kanda had some skill as a swordsman, SOME skill, albeit during my training with George (You know, my ORIGINAL teacher of combat skills? From when I first joined the modern day Black Order?) Fitzpatrick I was given basic training on how to use a sword along with some pointers. That was it. I was also trained with about 30 different kinds of weapons from all over the world.

You could say that I was a bit of a Jack Of All Trades.

Back to my main point though, for me to have actually deflected a hit when I was only a beginner either I was lucky or he didn't expect the attack, he was over confident or he was a bad swordsman. That's what I had it narrowed it down to.

"If you don't come in soon, I'm going to close the gate." The young lady added, annoyed.

Now that I thought about it, she was rather cute. Not really my type though, I'm much more partial to red heads.

But still, she was beautiful enough to turn any woman, I thought lecherously.

_Do you mind? We share a mind you know. Keep your lecherous thoughts to yourself._

My apologies Baron, but she is rather cute.

_Oh god, what is seen cannot be unseen. I think I need to go cleanse out my eyes with Bleach._

The anime or the cleaning agent?

_Both._

I'll leave you to it, then. Wait, are you going to watch it on Netflix? Don't you rack up a big bill now Baron.

_Whatever, just leave me be._

Hey, that's my line!

…

"Enter!" The female said, pointing towards the entrance.

We all followed her; I had to more or less drag the mortified/amazed Leo through the door from his hiding place.

We stopped underneath a massive arch that loomed above us.

"I am Lenalee." The female – whose name I just heard was Lenalee – started. "The assistant to the supervisor. I'll be taking you to the supervisor."

"Nice to meet you." Allen said.

"Ditto." I remarked.

The samurai boy/girl starting walking away when Allen called out to him.

"Oh, Kanda." Allen said.

Kanda gave him a furious glare; I didn't envy Allen right now; that much I could tell you.

"…That was your name, right?…" Allen said, slightly fearful.

Allen outstretched his hand, "Nice to meet you."

I knew on a subconscious level that it was going to fail. I was sure of that.

But still, I repeated the gesture alongside Allen.

"Who the hell would want to shake hands with a beansprout and a cursed person?" Kanda said rhetorically.

You could feel the anger mixed with depression in the very air around Allen. Alongside mine that was.

"Discrimination." Both I and Allen whispered at the same time.

"I'm sorry. He just got back from his mission and he's a bit tired." Lenalee said, trying to cheer us up.

"Yeah, that's an understatement." I said.

We continued following Lenalee through the halls adorned with guards.

I eavesdropped and heard a conversation mentioning me Allen and Leo.

"Newcomers, eh…"One guard said.

"Heh, there all just children." Said another.

"I thought the short one was an old man… what's up with his hair?" Yet another guard said.

"I heard the one with the pitch black hair was cursed, on his right shoulder is a pentagram." One guard said about me.

"We're being talked about." I whispered softly to Allen.

"The one passed out over the cursed one's shoulder looks only about 9 or 10." The guard that spoke first said.

"Are those children really ready for all this…?" The second guard said.

"Well, there is no age requirement for 'Innocence'." Another said plainly.

In the back of my head, I had the distinct feeling that we were being watched by something other than the guards.

We stopped to look up at the huge Black Order emblem on a banner.

"So, this is the 'Black Order'." I said out loud to myself.

Lenalee continued to show us the various rooms of the brooding building.

"This is the cafeteria." Lenalee said, gesturing to a room with many benches and tables.

A little bit later onwards during out walk, she said "Right now, we are walking over the training room floor on the third level."

Another ways away from the last time she spoke up, she said "Here is the longue." She gestured to a large amount of stripped couches with windows and seats right in front of them.

"Cool." I said without really thinking.

This time around though Lenalee talked as we walked, "There are other places too, such as the sanatorium, library, and individual rooms. I'll take you to those later on." Lenalee said calmly.

"You get individual rooms?" Allen said.

"That's one thing better than Cross already." I murmured. "Still a great guy." I added, murmuring.

In truth, I neither hated nor liked Cross. But, my persona was grateful for him saving me off the streets so I had to act this way.

"What?" Allen asked.

"Nothing." I said quickly.

"All Exorcists go off to their missions from here". Lenalee said, interrupting me and Allen's short lived conversation. "So, some people call this base, 'Home'."

I smirked, "Home, huh? I could get used to that." I mumbled to myself.

"There are some who purposefully don't come back here though." Lenalee said.

"Yeah, like our master." I and Allen said at the same time.

As we kept on going further and further down, we came across a menacing set of rooms.

"Ah! What kinds of rooms are on this floor?" Allen asked.

"You don't need to know." Lenalee replied.

"Why?" Allen asked.

"You just don't." She replied.

Unbeknownst to Lenalee, I was sneaking up on the doors. As I reached one door with a 'Z' carved into it by objects unknown; I slide the door open…

[THIS SECTION OF THE REPORT HAS BEEN REDACTED DUE TO MENTAL HEALTH OF MAKER OF SAID REPORT. FULL REPORT OF EVENT WILL BE AVAILIBLE AFTER REPORT-MAKER RECOVERS FROM PHYSCOLOGICAL SCARS]

…I closed the door almost immediately, shaken to my very core.

I walked over to Allen, "She's right Allen; you don't need to know what's in there." I said shakily.

"You looked?" She asked with wide eyes.

I nodded, "I'm afraid so." I said shakily.

"I told you that you didn't need to know." She said as she walked towards the stairs leading down.

"Ok, let's get going." Lenalee said calmly.

Allen leaned in close and whispered to me, "What was in there?" He asked.

I looked at him with fear in my eyes, "You never, ever, need to know." I put my hand on his shoulder, "There is peace in ignorance, remember that next time you ask me." I followed Lenalee, leaving a confused Allen behind before he quickly caught up with us.

"Hello, how are you doing today?" Asked a strange man in a beret.

The man practically emanated – no, he actually did – an aura of light around him like he was some kind of Holy Spirit.

What the hell was he on? I wondered.

"I am Komui Lee, the scientific group supervisor." He explained.

We walked down some stairs; to my right was a massive room with three tower shaped platforms that rose out of complete darkness, I shivered at what was down there.

On the mid-most platform was a spire type object that was connected to, well, what could best be described as sphere that had a large amount of wires jutting out of it of various lengths and widths.

All in all, the room looked, to put it in words, tron-ified, with the sides of the platforms being covered in the stuff that makes up motherboards on computers.

"I welcome you, Allen, Adam, Leo…?" Komui said.

"Err, is Leo alright?" Komui asked; pointing at the still stunned Leo I was holding over my shoulder.

"Oh him? I'm sure he'll be fine. Maybe. Possibly. 40, 30 percent sure?" I said, coming off as more of question than a statement.

Allen sweat dropped along with Lenalee, whilst Komui just shrugged it off.

"Ah well, we can take him to the infirmary later." Komui said nonchalantly. "There was a little trouble earlier, eh?"

Komui led us to a room with a single operating table in the centre.

Various cabinets adorned the walls filled with different types of medication; none of them had names I could even hope to pronounce. (Among them I noticed one that caught my eye, 'Benzoylmethyl Ecgonine' – _Adam_)

"So, can you show me your arm?" Komui asked.

"What?" I replied as Allen said "Huh?"

"I was talking to Adam. Earlier on you seemed to be shocked to see that curse on your arm, so I just want to examine, for both our sakes of course." Komui said calmly.

I sighed, "Alright." To be truthful, I was relieved that my arm was getting examined. I didn't even know about the curse, nor did I know that I had it.

I pulled up my sleeve on my arm and put it on the table. Komui took a magnifying glass and examined my arm thoroughly, not missing a single detail.

"It seems, you whole arm is in fact cursed. Strange really, there's innocence in your right hand all right, and that also seems to be the origin from the innocence. Hm…" He gripped his chin, unsure of what to make of this I presumed.

"Do you know of a period of time in which you could have been cursed and not notice?" Komui asked.

"Um, no, actually." An idea crossed my mind. "Allen, your left eye was cursed after you got injured, right?" I asked.

"Uh, yeah, but what does that have to do with anything?" He said, slightly uneasy speaking about his past.

"Back, a long time ago, when I first obtained my Innocence, it burned down my house, killing my parents with it. But that's not all; it touched my hand and melted the very flesh off. I sustained injury, plus an event where my parents could have in fact been cursing me. I'm not sure but that is the closest thing I have to a time frame of when I could have been cursed, but that was 9 years ago, and it's only now showing up." I said.

"My apologies for bringing up such a painful incident. However, it is most intriguing; I definitely need a tissue sample. Lenalee, would you please hand me the anaesthetic?" Komui said.

"Sure brother." Lenalee handed Komui a needle.

"Wa- wait, do you really need a tissue sample?" I said slightly shaken.

"Yes. I do." He said, eyes gleaming.

Allen looked away, and so did I.

After being violently stabbed with a needle directly in the arm, something strange happened. The needle got stuck in my cursed arm.

"It seems that the skin regrows at a spectacular rate on your cursed arm. How interesting." Komui violently yanked the needle out and threw it perfectly into a biohazard bin.

"Wa-wa-waaaait! WA-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I screamed as he did the first incision.

During the operation (In which Komui used power tools to get through my arm as regular Scalpels just kept breaking with the amount of force he used on them) I heard Lenalee speak to Komui.

"Brother Komui. After this, you're going to that place, right? To check if Allen and Adam are human or not? Just in case…"

"Hm?" Komui completely turned his attention away from the delicate operation and looked at Lenalee, "nah, its ok, their human."

"How do you know?" Lenalee asked.

"In this world, the only organisms that can get cursed are humans. And Allen has a cursed left eye, judging from what Adam said." Komui said simply.

After the torturing session was over and Komui had obtained a sample the size of my entire forearm, in 10 seconds the entire patch of skin grew back.

"Fascinating." Komui said, adjusting his glasses.

Then, after that happened, he guided me and Allen to an elevator. Leo had been taken to the infirmary by Lenalee.

Komui pushed a button (Or did he pull a lever? My vision was slightly messed up because of the anaesthetic) and the elevator descended into darkness.

"Your arm won't move because of the anaesthesia, but it'll ware off soon enough~." Komui said.

"Did you have to 'examine' my eye as well?" Allen said, a little woozy from having been operated on as well.

"Hm? Oh yes, I did. I needed a tissue sample of ordinary cursed tissue to compare your abnormally cursed arm tissue too. Relax, it's only 2 square centimetres worth of eye~." Komui said nonchalantly.

"Ack, almost makes me wish I didn't have a, what did you call it? 'Parasite type'? Arm and just a regular weapon." I groaned.

"Now, now, there are some side effects, parasite types are rare. You're both lucky to have Innocence in your left and right arms, respectively." Komui said.

"You've been talking about this 'Innocence' for quite a long time and you still haven't told us a thing about it. I only got a brief explanation from my Master, Marian Cross and all he did was say that Exorcists like us use it. I think you owe us an explanation." I said.

Allen nodded, "Just what is Innocence, really?" Allen asked.

Just then, a bright light shone out and highlighted a group of people wearing black cloaks, it covered up their faces.

I couldn't discern one voice form another. They were speaking in unison for some reason.

"The power of all intellectual omnipotence." The barbershop quartet (The equivalent of, really. I know, I know, there's five of them) said.

"Yet again, I have gotten my hands on a god." So, they thought of themselves as one entity? That's, creepy.

_If you want creepy, you should just try watching your own images of how you see that child Lenalee. I don't think I can finish my popcorn._

Now you're the one complaining, Baron.

…_I'm too old to deal with this._

You just called yourself old.

…_I'm leaving. It's time for the next episode of My Little Pony anyway…_

Oh, you like MLP FIM, Baron? I internally smirked.

The sound of a closing door rang throughout my head. He won't be talking to me anytime soon. Internally, I sighed.

It was funny really, at first I wanted the Baron to do nothing by leave me alone, but now, I couldn't imagine life without the annoying voice in my head. Huh, it was almost like having a conscious, an evil one, but a conscious no less.

I had a conscious I mean, it's just that I don't pay too much attention to the poor thing. It's probably starving at this point from lack of use.

"These are people of out boss, the commander-in-chief." Komui said.

Both I and Allen turned towards Komui.

He returned the glance before saying "Now, show your value to these people, Adam, Allen. Leo can show his worth later, once he recovers from his shock, in case you were wondering." Komui said.

"What?" "Huh?" I and Allen said, respectively.

A white tendril came out of nowhere grabbed me. I knew it was Hevlaska, so I quickly calmed down, but faked a nervous scream and look.

"Adam!" Allen called out, invoking his innocence on woozy legs.

"Relax, it's just Hevlaska, she's only going to examine his Innocence, its quick and painless, I can assure you." Komui said, putting his hand on Allen's shoulder.

Allen quickly un-invoked his Innocence and let his arm be by his side.

Meanwhile, I was being hoisted off of the platform and into the grip of Hevlaska, getting further and further away from the platform that held Allen and Komui on it, I could feel the tendrils wrapping around me further and further.

My right arm especially was getting examined.

"Ino…" Hevlaska began. "Ino…"

"Innocence…" Hevlaska finished.

In reports, Hevlaska is described as being many stories tall, and angelic. That does not describe her in the least.

She was MASSIVE. Her face was the size of my whole body AND THEN SOME. She emanated with an aura of tranquillity and near heavenly light that dwarfed the light coming from the sun many times over.

The tendrils pierced through my right hand without even breaking the skin, and began probing my insides.

Whoooooooooa! That feels reaaaaaally funky. YEOW! The hell is this? Whoa, YEOW! Ack, god, this feels so disgusting. WHOA! No need to go routin' down there for Innocence.

_Oh for the love of god SHUT UP! I'm TRYING to solve a case in L.A Noire, and in this case it's more about their tone then how they act. Geez._

My apologies Baron, are you the one getting violated by Hevlaska? No? Then shut up-whoa whoa whoa YEOW!

Soon, the tendrils encompassed my whole right side of my body, probing my body in a really creepy and awkward way. Unless you were getting, _felt,_ by the tendrils, then there is no way to describe it better than being felt up by jelly that had warmth to it.

"Your cross is really beautiful, Adam~." Komui sang.

"How is it, Hevlaska?" Komui added. "How is this apostle of god? Doe she satisfy your needs?"

Acting terrified, I tried my best to do what my persona would do; act rashly, though you could say that it came second only to breathing to me.

"Activate. Activate!" I yelled at my innocence.

"The anaesthesia won't allow it to move~." Komui repeated.

"ACTIVATE DAMN IT!" I shouted.

My hand erupted with fire, and pain, as I activated it.

"…CK! AHHHHHHHHHH!" I had managed to stop myself from swearing, but not a scream.

"Adam!" Allen activated his Innocence but Komui stopped him.

"Allen. He activated his weapon when he was under anaesthesia, that's what causing him pain." Komui said.

Allen un-invoked his Innocence, reluctantly.

"Ama… Amazing! He overcame the anaesthesia!" Hevlaska exclaimed.

"AGH!" I bellowed.

"You… Your nerves are paralysed. Don- Don't try to push yourself into activating it!" Hevlaska said.

"Calm down… I am not your… enemy." Hevlaska said slowly.

Just then, a cross appeared on her (He, she, it? She was rather androgynous if I do say so myself. If it wasn't for her feminine smile I would have mistaken her him it for a man) forehead. It was the same cross that was on the banner earlier on.

The symbol of the Black Order, huh. That's what it looked like 100 hundred years ago.

Our foreheads collided, creating a blinding light that I was thankful to have my eyes closed for, as even through my eye lids it hurt.

"Activating… your Anti-Akuma weapon… Is very dangerous when you're not fully synchronised." Hevlaska said.

"4%" Hevlaska began.

"12%"

"25%"

"39%"

"54%"

"72%"

"81%"

"…91%!" Hevlaska finished.

Hevlaska jerked her head back.

"You're all right now… It looks like 91% is your maximum synchronisation with your weapon." Hevlaska said.

"Synchronisation? Do you mean how well I can use my innocence?" I asked.

"Not quite. It's the life line for the Anti-Akuma weapon activation" Hevlaska explained. "The lower the synchronisation percentage, the harder it is to activate, and the user may become endangered"

"Endangered? So, you mean that it's possible that my Innocence could actually attempt to harm me?" I asked.

Hevlaska put me down on the platform.

"Anything is possible with Innocence, child. I also didn't mean to scare you." Hevlaska said. "I was just… trying to get to know your innocence."

"'Trying to get to know my innocence?' Were you talking to it or something like that?" I asked.

"Yes. Only, we were communing without words." Hevlaska said.

"Ooookay." I said.

"Adam Phoenix Millennium… there is many a thing that I wish to tell you, if you will let me." Hevlaska said.

"Ok, sure, why not?" I said rhetorically.

"Adam Phoenix Millennium… someday in the black future, you will not only destroy the destroyer of time, but save the destroyed evil, if not it, but its soul instead. You will become the biggest known phenomenon in human history, having saved the world by dooming it." Hevlaska said.

"Also, your innocence told me, that it wishes for you to not mourn for its misgivings, and instead forgive it, so that you can become a better person, and not just a puppet. It also says, that you will only ever be a contradiction of existence, and says that you should embrace that existence, as it will make a world of difference. Literally." Hevlaska added.

"At least, that is what I felt. That is my power." Hevlaska said.

"Like hell I'd forgive my innocence." I whispered harshly.

"How amazing~~~" Komui said, clapping.

"That is probably true~! Hevlaska's fortune-telling is correct most of the time. Hehehe, we can count on you, Adam!" Komui said giddily.

"Komui. Forgot about you…" I said.

SCREACH! The sound of bending metal hurt my hand just as much as it hurt my ears.

"You just let me feel violated by a giant monster! No offence, Hevlaska." I said.

"None took, Adam." Hevlaska responded, sweat dropping, alongside Allen.

"Adam, maybe you should calm dow-"I interrupted Allen with a deathly glare, the horns –again- sort of came out on their own.

"Stay out of this, Allen!" I said furiously.

"How, man~ you already punched~." Komui said.

I drew my hand back away from the metal clipboard that he had used to block the blow.

"Sorry, sorry, you were surprised, eh? You were scared, I know, I know~~." Komui said nonchalantly. "Exorcists who join must be examined by Hevlaska. Those are the rules."

"YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID THAT I WAS GOING TO GET VIOLATED THE MOMENT I WALKED IN THE GATE! I WOULD HAVE LIKED TIME TO PREPARE MYSELF!" I yelled angrily.

"You know, Komui, you still haven't explained what 'Innocence' is yet." Allen said, trying to change the subject.

"I can explain. But that explanation will come after Allen's worth is examined." Komui said, adjusting his glasses.

Allen barely had enough time to breathe before he was abducted by Hevlaska.

"Relax… Just as I said to Adam… I am not your enemy." Hevlaska said.

After giving Allen the 'R(ape)oyal Treatment', Hevlaska said Allen's prophecy.

"Allen Walker… sometime in the black future, your innocence will create an extraordinary 'Time Destroyer.'" Hevlaska said.

I stiffened, waiting for both Allen and Komui to draw the line between my prophecy and Allen's.

Allen turned slowly towards me, "Wait, you said my innocence would make an extraordinary Time Destroyer, and you said Adam would destroy the destroyer of time, but that's me. Does that mean…?" Allen asked.

"Afraid so~." Komui said nonchalantly.

"It appears Adam is destined to destroy you, Allen~~."

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**Author's notes: DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN! I finally have an ending to a chapter that I'm happy with. For those that are wondering, I plan on making these chapters either just as long or slightly over the length of a single issue of the manga. Yes, I know just what that would mean chapter wise. **

**We already knew that Adam was going to kill Allen EVENTUALLY, but how will Allen react to this news of his eventual demise?**

**More time getting butt f*cked in the next chapter FYI. **

**REVIEW YOU SONS-A-B*TCHES! I appreciate reviews so please REVIEW! Rate as well, if you can. Not to mention subscribe. DO IT! DO IT NOW!**

**Hint: You guys might want to check back in a few hours. I may surprise you with what I have uploaded...**


	14. Hang glider FTW: Flying towards walls

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

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_Chapter 14: Hang Glider FTW: Flying Towards Walls_

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**Author's notes: My apologies for the short chapter guys. I swear that I was working on this for a large portion of the day.**

**Don't fret though, because a second chapter will be released later today~! Aren't you excited? I know I am. Now we move onto the next issue of D. Gray-man Manga. Issue 8: Love All. **

**This story is going to take up most of my life, I swear...**

**Disclaimer: DAMN YOU LELOUCH LAMPEROUGE! He defeated me in a game of chess! GRRRRRR!**

**LeLouch: Now I, LeLouch Vi Britannia, command you, WRITE THE NEXT CHAPTER!**

**Me: *Geassed* Yes, sure thing LeLouch! *Skips way giddily***

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I looked away, unsure of how to respond. It was my mission to destroy Neah when the time came, but as I had hoped over the past year, time hadn't been so distorted that Allen wasn't the 14th's host.

I really do wish that just some shmuck had been the 14th's host, so that way I wouldn't have to destroy a close friend.

Being friends with the person that you will eventually kill you, Allen was metaphorically in the same situation I was, oddly enough. I smirked grimly; god has a hell of a sense of humour.

"Do you still want me to explain Innocence to you?" Komui asked, breaking the silence.

Allen snapped out of his horrified trance, "Oh, right. Yes, please do." Allen said.

"I'll explain then. Because Innocence is something you Exorcists need to know all about." Komui said.

Both I and Allen turned in Komui's direction, intent on hearing.

I knew the story of the cube, but it wouldn't hurt to have a refresher course.

"This story is only known to the black priests and the Vatican," Komui adjusted his glasses, "and also the Earl of the Millennium."

I involuntarily twitched, 'The Earl of The Millennium', or in other words, 'That Guy At The Back Of My Head That Watches My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic'.

_I can hear you, you know._

Oh, Baron, um, hello, now's not the time or place to argue.

_Agreed. I'm leaving, but by the time I get back, I better be able to yell at you, servant._

Ooookay.

"It all started nearly a century ago… one cube was found, and it began there." Komui began.

What I found odd was that there was some kind of eerie music playing in the background, the kind of music you would expect out of a sci-fi b movie.

Baron, are you playing that music?

_Yes no maybe. You can choose two._

Then I choose yes twice, you are, aren't you?

_Hey, don't hate the player, hate the game, or in this instance, hate the musical instrument._

Out of all the musical instruments that you could choose, you chose a Theremin to annoy me with…

"What was contained in the message was a saying from long ago… It was an instruction on how to use this substance." Komui said.

"What substance?" Allen asked.

"The cube itself was the substance, but- It was called the 'God's Crystal', which possesses a special power. We call it Innocence." Komui said.

Komui looked straight at both me and Allen before continuing.

"It is the cross in your left hand, Allen, and the cross in your right hand, Adam." Komui said.

I pretended to be taken aback just like Allen.

"Anti-Akuma weapons process the Innocence and turn it into weaponry." Komui said.

I looked at Allen with a raised eyebrow, 'Who knew?' I silently asked. And he in turn shrugged.

'Dunno.' He replied.

"The maker of the cube is known to have used this Innocence. Facing off against evil, they fought the Earl of the Millennium and won." Komui said.

A memory came careening through my vision and blocked out all my other senses.

"_Noah, heed my word, the Heart will return to destroy you. You may kill me, and destroy the Heart's brother, but you will never destroy him or Phelix." Said the black hooded man, gruffly._

_He was pinned to a tree, overlooking a cliff, with my sword. The sword of the Millennium Earl. The twilight was beautiful that day._

"_Well~, let's just see about that~." I said playfully._

_Just then, an explosion of light engulfed me and the hooded man, he was gone. Along with the Innocence he carried._

"_Brother!" Said Joido. The 3rd apostle. He had run out of the ark gate towards me. His hair was cut so short that it never wavered in the breeze._

"_They had a back-up plan! Get on the ark, quickly! They plan on flooding the earth and wiping us out with it!" He said worriedly, gesturing for me to follow him._

"_What? Oh, but they'd kill the entire population of this planet if they did that~." I said, giddily._

_I couldn't make out Joido's face. The most I could see was his ash gray skin hand; he was holding it out for me._

"_They're crazy enough to, trust me, brother." He said._

"_Let's go then~, brother~~." I said, taking his hand and walking with him towards the ark gate._

Whoa, Baron, was that one of your memories?

I could hear crying in the background.

_Oh? What? Yes that was. It's especially painful to think about Sylvester, he was killed by the fourteenth so many years ago. The thing is Joido wouldn't hurt a fly, granted he would kill a few Exorcists without a moment hesitation, but he was especially fond of animals and nature._

Oh, right. My condolences…?

I wasn't even sure if here could hear me above his sobbing.

"It happened about 7000 years ago, and in the Old Testament, it was referred to as 'Noah's Great Flood'. However, the cube tells us that those were the 'Three Days of Darkness'." Komui put his chin on his hand. "And according to the cube's prediction, the world is bound to meet its end at the hands of the Earl. So far, the cubes prophecy is correct. The Earl has returned to this world. Due to the cubes prophecy coming true, the Vatican decided to follow the cube's message. This is the revival of the Innocence and the black priests." Komui recited what was said on the cube, before saying "The Innocence-compatible people… are you Exorcists."

Allen's eyes widened, alongside mine.

"I had kinda figured that." I said to no one in particular.

"But the Earl hasn't forgotten the past either. He has created armies to destroy god. Those are Akuma. If Innocence is the white, then 'Dark Matter' is the black. The more it evolves, the more it develops. The Earl wants to destroy the Innocence and stop the revival of it. Innocence has spread throughout the world, because of Noah's great flood." Komui leaned against the railing. "There are 109 units in all. We are to wake up the people who contain the Innocence, and gather up an army to counter the Earl's army. The Earl is on the move to find the people with Innocence and destroy them." Komui said. "It's a rare to obtain the Innocence." He added grimly. "If we lose the race, the end will be just as the prophecy foretold."

"Fight!" One of the barbershop quintets said.

"That is your duty as one who has been chosen by the Innocence." The quintet said. "It is a duty!" They shouted in unison.

Komui turned to us.

"Well then, that's about it for the long explanation." Komui put his hand out, gesturing for us to shake it. "Let's fight together, to save the world. Neither of you will make a single dollar, though." Komui said with a wink.

"Why the hell not?" I said enthusiastically, shaking his hand.

He outstretched his hand to Allen as well.

"…Sure." Allen said plainly.

"I welcome you both to the Black Priesthood." Komui said with a smirk.

Pulling a map out form nowhere, Komui tapped on it, getting both me and Allen's attention.

"Right now, with both of you in our group, we have found 20 Exorcists. Most are around the world working on different missions, but you'll soon be able to meet them all." Komui said. Komui paused, "By the way, Hevlaska is an Exorcist too."

"WHAT?" Me and Allen shouted together.

"I am a… different type than you guys, but I am a compatible person for a cube… ever since the teachings started, I have been a keeper of Innocence." Hevlaska said. "I have… met many Exorcists…" Hevlaska said solemnly. "And yet… I have never sensed what I sense in you… Adam. May god be with you both… in the trying times ahead."

Afterwards, we met up with Lenalee again she showed us to our rooms. She then went to infirmary to pick up Leo and bring him to Hevlaska, 'He can finally speak again and move around on his own', she said.

Conveniently, my room was next to Allen's, so through the paper thin walls I could hear him speak.

"Whew!" I could hear Allen say. "Where did Tim Campy go…?" Allen asked.

That gave me food for thought; where did the little hellion run off too?

Before I could think anything further, Allen spoke up again, "Finally… I have come here, Mana."

I jerked back, realising that this was probably a sentiment and private talk with his dead father.

I used to do the same sort of thing; I spoke out to my dead parents in my room, to relieve tension. I sure as hell never wanted anyone to ever listen to me rambling.

Still, information is information. And information is what I had to put on the report, Leverrier would rip me a new one if I let personal feelings get in the way of my mission.

I pressed my ear up against the wall again.

"Finally, I'm at the starting line. 'Don't stop walking'. 'Keep walking forth'. I don't care about fate; I have chosen this path for myself. Adam may be the one to kill me, for whatever reason, but I'm at peace with that. I promise… whatever the cost, I won't stop walking. I will keep walking until I die." Allen said.

I felt extremely bad that I was listening to Allen. Eavesdropping, even.

I sighed internally, now I had to get out of the order to report to Leverrier and tell that would be it for the month.

I had worked it out with the inspector that I could only report once each month instead of each week. Sneaking out would be no easy feat given that it was the Black Order HQ I was sneaking out of.

Given that I had absolutely no idea how to sneak out the front door, I was at a loss for ideas. I fell down on the bed and gazed at the window.

DING! Idea.

Trying my best to muffle the sound of my breaking the window with my bed sheets, I punched the window out and cringed, hoping that no one would come running.

Nothing. No one, I breathed a sigh of relief. That was tense, ish.

I peered out the window, it was a really, really, _really _long way down to the bottom of the building. And the getting down the cliff would be just as difficult.

I took a deep breath and jumped out the window.

The wind whipped violently passed me as I fell towards the earth.

I only had a couple of seconds before I reached the ground.

3… I invoked my Innocence.

2… I fired my geyser of flame, trying to slow myself down.

1… I was slowing down, but not fast enough.

THUD! My best attempts at making myself slow down only made it so that I didn't break anything. It still hurt like hell thought, I'll tell you that much.

"Ow." I whispered through gritted teeth.

I ran towards the cliff, hoping to get there as soon as I could. I stopped right before the cliff.

I had another stupid idea.

I created a Hang-glider, "Well." I said to myself as I took a few steps.

"Here goes nothing." I jumped off the cliff.

"Whooooooooooa! Hey, this is working! This is actually working! Oh god nope never mind-AHHHHHHHHHH!" Just as my Hang glider started working I realised that I had never used one before and was fast approaching the ground.

"AHHHHHH!" I screamed as loud as I could.

"Forget this" I mumbled to myself as I destroyed my glider.

I created a flaming parachute and simply let it flap open and let me glide gracefully down.

After several minutes, I finally reached the ground.

"Now, to London." I said out loud to myself.

_2 Hours later, London…_

I stood outside of the place that the portal would open; waiting patiently wasn't one of my strong suits.

BAM! The portal appeared from thin-air and Ezio stepped out of it.

"Good to see you on time for a change. Get over here." Ezio said.

I followed Ezio in through portal and gave my report.

I explained to Leverrier that sneaking out of HQ would be hard enough, but carrying a massive pile of documents? Not a chance.

Instead, everything that happened was scribed by a middle aged woman that didn't even bother to look at me.

I layed down in the chair and relaxed, laying on detail after detail about just what had happened over the past month.

Leverrier himself questioned me about the prophecy Hevlaska had for me.

"Hevlaska said, and I quote 'Someday in the black future, you will not only destroy the destroyer of time, but save the destroyed evil, if not it, but its soul instead. You will become the biggest known phenomenon in human history, having saved the world by dooming it'. I have a rough idea of what that means, but I'm not sure." I said hesitantly.

"Oh? And just what do you think Hevlaska is talking about?" The Inspector asked suspiciously.

"'Destroy the destroyer of time' refers to Allen, since he is known as the Destroyer of Time. 'Save the destroyed evil' might refer to the Akuma I will need to destroy along the way, but I don't know what I could save the Akuma from is the question. Or…. It could refer to the Millennium Earl. 'If not it, but its soul instead' might mean that I actually convince the Earl to not destroy the world right before he dies." I shrugged.

"'You will become the biggest known phenomenon in human history, having saved the world by dooming it'. She might mean that I am the one to kill the Earl, but since he would eventually reincarnate those that could stop him would probably be dead by the time he does. Although, that wouldn't explain the whole 'Phenomenon' thing. What could be considered unexplainable about me? Besides the Innocence and Noah-ness, of course." I said.

"I appreciate you sharing your thoughts, Noah, but now I have to ask you to leave. You have a mission to complete, after all." He said with a smirk.

I sighed, "Yes sir." I said with a similar smirk.

After being escorted by Ezio out of the portal and back onto the streets of London, I went back to the Order.

Hopefully, they wouldn't notice I was gone for so long.

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**Author's notes: Someone really should remind Adam not to do whatever he thinks off the top of his head. He almost died thinking he could Hang glide, only to find out he couldn't. *Sigh/Sweatdrop***

**Vote for how the relationship should turn out between Adam and Lenalee! It is currently tied between:**

**'The relationship should end on a high-note. IE, they kiss right before the final battle and then Adam dies Lenalee cries and stuff' with two votes.**

**And:**

**'The relationship should end and it becomes a sort of awkward style of "Yeah, we kinda used to date" situation that people only mention at the water cooler' with two votes as well! **

**Vote vote vote! Review review reivew! Rate rate rate! Subscribe subscribe subscribe! And stuff...**

**To let you guys know: All dialogue (Most of it anyway) is taken from the Manga, all the characters names are taken from the Anime.  
Thought I'd try shooting their names up, mix things up a little. :)**

**I'd also like to give a shout out to 'D3vilNeverCry' for giving me the idea for some fantastic filler. You'll know it when you see it. :)**

**Peace bro, I'm out. TILL LATER TODAY!**

**Edit: Woops. Turns out that Komrin isn't until later, MY BADZ.**


	15. The Town of Martel: Not Even There Yet

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

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_Chapter 15: The Town Of Martel: Not Even There Yet_

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**Author's notes: Nothing much to say besides rate review and subscribe and stuff.**

**Since these chapters were really short in comparison to other chapters, I'll be posting two -again- tomorrow. Otherwise my conscious wouldn't leave me alone.**

**Disclaimer: F*ck off, I'm too tired. D. Gray-man is not min... *Passes out***

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The sun was about to come up by the time I made back to my room.

I fell over on the bed, exhausted at my late night shenanigans.

I let out a muffled groan when I felt the sunlight reach my back. "Just give me 5 more minutes, sun." I mumbled.

"The sun has risen." Allen said in the room next to mine.

"SHUT UP ALLEN! THESE WALLS ARE PAPER THIN YOU KNOW! AND I'M TRYING TO SLEEP HERE!" I shouted angrily.

"Oh!" I could hear Allen fall over, too which I responded with a groan.

"Sorry Adam-"

"SHUT UP! I'm trying to sleep here." I said angrily.

I could practically see the sweat from Allen's head fall down his face through the wall.

I closed my eyes, trying desperately to sleep before I could hear a familiar rumbling from both myself and Allen.

"Why do I have to be hungry now, of all times?" I said, still slightly angry.

I got up and got dressed in my usual attire. A Tailored vest, a dress shirt and slacks along with my red tie. I would wear my coat but that would be uncomfortable as it was pretty warm already.

Going outside and seeing Allen, we both went to the cafeteria to get something to eat.

We both went over to the front desk thingy (I don't know how to describe it, could you? All I could say what that it looked like a doorway minus the door was on top of a bench) and met a strange man with shades, dreadlocks, pig tail looking thingy's, and a sleeve-less shirt, vest, sweater vest? Whatever kind of shirt it was he was wearing it.

"Hm?" The strange man said.

"Oh! New recruits? Wow, and what pretty kids!" He said.

My gaydar was tingling just at the sight of the man, but now I was sure. The way he spoke about us also made me think of another little known word called paedophile, but I let it slide.

"Nice to meet you…" Allen said.

"Ditto…" I said.

"What do you little cuties want to eat? I can make anything!" He said happily.

"Anything?" I repeated.

"Anything." He confirmed.

"You heard him Allen." I said, with a sly grin.

"Lasagna and potatoes and dry curry and ma-po tofu and beef stew and a meat pie and calpaccho and a nashigoren and chicken and potato salad and corn and a kuppa, tomyank and rice, for dessert I want a mango pudding and 20 mitarashi dangos." Allen said.

I grinned, "ditto. Allen, you must be cuttin' back, that's not as much as your usual order." I said mockingly.

"You can eat all that?" He sweat dropped, but I didn't blame him. That was pretty much the reaction everyone got when they heard how much Allen and I ate.

Allen was about to answer me when someone shouted "What did you say?"

Me and Allen turned towards the source of the noise and saw a group of people crowded around the samurai guy girl Kanda.

"You wanna say that again?" One shouted.

"Stop it, Buzz!" Another yelled.

"Be quiet!" Kanda yelled.

"My meal tastes bad when you're talking about dead people." Kanda said nonchalantly.

"Is that how you show respect for your comrades?" The one whom I thought was called Buzz shouted. "We, the finders, support you with our lives… and you… you… AND YOU'RE SAYING YOUR MEAL TASTES BAD-?" Buzz shouted. He drew back his fist and attempted to hit Kanda right in the head, only for him to dodge out of the way with ease.

Kanda quickly retaliated by getting the man in a death grip. The man nearly twice his size was gasping for dear life.

"'Support us'?" Kanda said with a smirk.

"All you can do is 'support' us. You guys are the ones who weren't chosen to carry the Innocence." The man in Kanda's grip made a groaning noise.

Kanda's eyes had a stare like no other, one of both annoyance agitation and seriousness. It was enough to make me feel slightly uncomfortable.

"If you don't want to die, run away. Your insignificant life can be replaced at any time." Just then, Allen and yours truly's hand was around Kanda's wrist.

"Stop it." Allen said.

"What he said." I said, pointing towards Allen.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you when I have nothing to do with this,-"

"Hey, don't forget that you dragged me along by my shoulder, thank you very much." I interrupted Allen.

"Right, that _we _have nothing to do with, but I don't think this is a good way of resolving things." I smirked at that.

"I don't agree either about this kind of method of talking to someone. Even if you may not respect someone, fake it 'till you make it, as they say." I said.

He merely glared at us, "Back off, beansprout, cutpurse."

"Cutpur- My names Adam, wiseass." I said with disdain.

"And I'm Allen." Allen said.

"Heh, if either of you don't die within the next month, I'll remember your names. There are many that die here, like these guys." Kanda said.

Allen tightened his grip around Kanda's wrist; I simply just put my hand in my pockets.

"As I said, that's not a good thing to say." Allen said firmly.

"Hold on Allen, Kanda has got a partial point. 'Those that kill should be prepared to be killed', those words apply here most definitely. Whoever doesn't want to die should just leave. There's no two ways about it." I said grimly.

Allen looked at me with cold eyes, "You're agreeing with him?"

"No, not at all. Merely making an observation." I said.

Allen glared at me, and Kanda was glaring at Allen, "You're gonna die soon… I hate your type." Kanda said to Allen. "But you." Kanda said turning to me. "You could probably live out the next month, maybe whole 6 months at best here. Remember that." He said with narrowed eyes.

Allen turned towards me and then back towards Kanda, "Well, thank you." Allen said.

I had to take a step back just to marvel at the size of the flame that surrounded both of them.

"Allen! Kanda! Adam!" I turned towards the voice of the noise only to see a man carrying a large amount of books in his hands with, I'm not even entirely sure what's on his back, and Lenalee behind him.

"Eat your food in 10 minutes and come to the command post. You've got a mission." He yelled out to us.

He had dirty blonde hair, I think, I knew that it was blonde just a dark blonde, so I think it was dirty. I dunno. I'm not that good with descriptors.

After wolfing down our food, we headed to the command post to find out what our mission was. I was hoping that it wasn't a group assignment; lord knows how much I detest Kanda.

When we got there, the blonde haired man was there as well, alongside a sleeping Komui.

Lenalee was there too, much to my surprise. I was wondering what she was doing there until I remembered that she was the 'assistant' to Komui.

"Supervisor." The blonde haired man shook Komui once. No response. "Supervisor Komui!" He yelled.

He even thwacked him and it had no effect. I was impressed; whatever this guy was on was working wonders at getting him beauty sleep.

The blonde haired man leaned in really close to his ear and said at a barely audible level, "Lenalee's gonna marry someone~."

The man leapt up at shocking speed.

"LENALEE~~!" Komui shouted. "How can you get married without telling your own brother?" Komui cried out.

"He's your brother?" I stated more than I asked.

"Yep." She said simply.

"So, uh, is he the younger one?" I asked.

"No. Older." She said simply.

"Oh, really…" I said, sweat dropping.

"Sorry about that, it's the only way to wake him up." The blonde haired man said.

Once I got acquainted with the blonde haired man, -its turns out that he was THE Reever Wenham – and by that I mean I asked him his name, we were led by Komui into a room.

It looked like a private library, where all the books were stacked vertically instead of horizontally like ordinary books.

There was paper scattered all over the floor, not a single part of the ordinary floor could be seen.

"Err, sorry about that, I didn't go to sleep until daybreak so-"

"Umm, neither did I." Reever interrupted Komui.

I didn't either, Komui, you don't see me complaining about it…

_And there you go complaining._

Oh, Baron. Wasn't expecting you any time soon.

_Why not?_

You seemed pretty angry last time I err, heard you.

_I can assure you that I was not angry in the slightest._

If you say so…

"All right, we don't have much time, so after you hear summary, move out. If you want more detailed info, just read this while you head to your destination." We were handed sheets of information by Lenalee.

All three of us were handed the booklets, which meant one thing.

"You three are going as a group." Komui said.

I looked at him with pleading, worried eyes.

"Err, what? You already aren't getting along?" Komui said with a surprised look.

He hit the wall behind him and a book came down and thwacked him, square on the noggin.

"But, no excus- OW!" He bellowed out as the book him.

I chuckled, but the chuckling made everyone stop and stare at me.

"What?" I said still slightly chuckling.

"It's just, your chuckling sounds dark." Allen said.

"Like you're psychologically insane." Lenalee added eyes wide.

"You sound like an idiot." Kanda said abruptly, crossing his arms.

"Right, I'll keep that in mind…" I said, looking away out of nervousness.

"We've found Innocence in southern Italy, but it may get taken by an Akuma." Komui said, drawing back our attention. "Your job is to destroy the enemy and secure the Innocence."

_**Later on, at the underground water path…**_

"Nice fit." I said as I snuggly put on my Exorcist coat.

"Don't worry, factoring in your Innocence, I've modified it to be flameproof." Komui said with a smile.

"Thanks Komui. Though what kind of modifications did you have to make?" I asked.

"Oh, I had to replace about a third of the material that is normally used to make Exorcists coats, but other than that and extra half a pound, it's virtually identical to the standard Exorcist uniform." Komui answered.

Allen finished putting on his Exorcist coat.

"It's a bit big. Do I have to wear this?" Allen said as he put on the last button.

"It's proof that you're an Exorcist." Komui replied. "Don't worry, it's made for battle. And I tuned your gloves a bit."

A bulge on Allen's arm caught my attention and Allen's.

Out of Allen's arm sleeve (Aliens style) came Tim Campy.

"Tim Campy!" Allen called out happily.

"Where the heck were you all this time?" Allen asked.

"I was wondering the exact same thing." I said.

We stepped onto the Gondola as the person that steered it started rowing.

"Tim campy has the ability to project the past of someone he's been with. I got to see your adventures with him, Adam and Allen. That's why I didn't sleep…" Komui said.

I stared at Komui evilly for a second before snapping out of it. Just what kind of adventures did he mean? Did Tim Campy record me reporting to Leverrier? I stiffened, then that would mean they would have questioned me instead of offering me a means of escape. I relaxed.

Then again, knowing the Leverrier family, I wouldn't put it past Malcolm C. Leverrier, the grandfather of the current-most Leverrier to put me in this position so that he could see how I respond. How I react when put in a cage.

Was I paranoid? Maybe. For good reason? Without question.

"Later!" Komui said, giving us a thumb up and smiling.

"I'll be back!" Allen called out.

_**Meanwhile, in southern Italy. The land of Martel…**_

Three Akuma's were trapped in Talismans by the finders.

"All right, we've got it in the seal. Don't let them out even if you die." Said the captain finder.

"All right, we can buy some time now, Captain." Said the finder next to the captain finder.

"…I don't know if we a sufficient amount of Talismans." Said the captain. "Look at the one in the middle… it looks like it has killed a lot of people."

BANG! The sound of an Akuma bullet hitting flesh bone rang through the air.

The sound of wind blowing through bullet hole the Akuma had made in the barrier emphasised the eerie silence.

The captain stood in shock at the sight.

"Haha! Hahahaha! I'm an Akuma!" The seething mass of black and white said.

"Crap… run!" He finally managed to say.

The Akuma turned into an egg.

"This one's gonna evolve!" He shouted out.

"I'm an Akuma! A being created from Dark Matter!" The Akuma yelled. "Thanks for raising me…" The Akuma said as it poked its head out of egg.

As the egg completely shattered, the Akuma in all its glory stood before them.

"I've levelled up!" Said the now level 2 Akuma.

_Somewhere else in Martel…_

Through the radio, the finders could hear their comrades dying.

"Uwaaaa, no, they're too str-. Captain!" Was all they heard from the radio before they received nothing but static.

"Just hold on… the Exorcists will be here soon." One finder said to another.

"Until then, we must protect this Innocence."

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**Author's notes: I was considering how I was going to do the ghost town of Martel. When I decided to give my own twist to it.**

**Now, I'm tired, review rate and subscribe, and stuff.**

**Late... *Pass out again***


	16. The Town of Martel: Adam Versus LVL2

**D. Gray-man: The New Black World Order: Chapter 17**

**Author's notes: This is the nxt chapter, unfortunately this one is a short one as well. My bad :/**

**These may be shorter than the average chapters, BUT, BUT, its a mighty big butt, i'm posting the next one later today, so just be patient y'all. And tomorrow, since i have nothing better to do, i'll post another, full lengthed chapter, just 'cuz i'm a nice guy. :)**

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I was reading the report beside Allen, Kanda and finder whose name I found out was 'Toma'.

As I was reading the report, I was faintly aware of a train coming our way. I didn't think much of it at first.

That was, until the finder told us that we were going to board the train.

"The nearest station isn't for- ooooooh, you mean jump ONTO the train?" I said with a smirk.

"Yes, cutpurse, we're going to jump on the train. Problem?" Kanda said.

"None at all, Kanda" I said plainly.

"His name is Adam, Bakanda" Allen said in my defence.

"Shut the hell up beansprout" Kanda yelled.

Again, they were at it. Staring at each other so intently that even if you set their hair on fire they wouldn't notice. It was kind of like, well, repressed homosexuality really on both their parts. It would explain a lot, actually, now that I think about it.

TOOT TOOT! The sound of the train hooting its horn shook me away from the conversation.

As we leapt over the bridge, Allen said "There's one thing I don't understand"

"Just worry about the train for now!" Kanda shouted in reply.

The finder had gone on ahead and landed on a metal beam that stretched above the train.

"Please hurry, the train has come!" The finder shouted.

"Whaaat? We're going on that!" Allen exclaimed.

As we fell towards the train, I noticed an odd sense of familiarity, Déjà vu in layman's terms, come rushing as I landed.

What was with that? I wondered.

THUD! I hit the train and was instantly snapped back to reality.

"Illegally boarding the train…" The finder started as he caught his breath.

"We've always done it that way" The finder finished.

The finder quickly pointed out the hatch on the train that we had to climb in through.

The adrenaline started thinning out from my bloodstream, and I was feeling the rush going down most definitely.

As I jumped down, a man wearing a train assistant outfit approached us.

I dusted myself off as he spoke, "Excuse me, passengers!" He said.

"This is the 1st class train, and normal citizens are supposed to be in the 2nd class train… and you guys just came in from there…" He finished just as Allen came down from the roof.

"We're the black priests, please get the room ready" The finder said formally.

"The black…?" He said, surprised. His eyes instantly darted to all of our uniforms before saying "Y-yes sir!"

He bowed and left.

"What was that?" Allen asked.

"The rose crest you carry on your shoulder is the symbol of the Vatican, and it allows you to enter any place you desire" The finder answered.

"By the way" The finder began, catching my attention.

"I will be supporting you until we reach Martel. The name's Toma, I'm one of the finders. Nice to meet you" He said formally.

"Likewise, Toma" I said, outstretching a hand.

Toma shook my hand with delight, "Thank you for your generosity, Sir Exorcist"

"Just call me Adam Toma, no need to be formal" I said with a smirk.

"Yes sir, Sir Adam sir" He with slight laugh.

We went to a first class room; it was cramped, but comfortable. Toma could definitely fit in the room, but said that he shouldn't as he was just a finder whilst I was an Exorcist.

"All right, the question I was wondering about earlier…" Allen began.

I stood up, "Gotta go to the bathroom. I'll be back soon enough" I opened the door and left.

"Toma, where are the rest rooms?" I asked.

"They're two carts down to your right, there should be a sign indicating the men's room, Sir Adam" Toma answered.

I nodded and followed down the cart towards the back end of the train, when I felt a chilling aura.

I continued walking like nothing was wrong, but I still felt it. There was something else, or some_one _else here on this train that had knowledge of Innocence and war.

There were three possibilities to what it could be. One, an Akuma, but that wasn't possible as the Akuma would have been picked up by Allen's eye. But then again, Allen's eye had a range limit.

I went into the cart that had the sign for the bathroom, and walked inside.

Two, a broker. A broker seemed far more likely, but why would I feel a chill down my back for a broker?

I finished my business and washed my hands.

Three, the most frightening and least possible of the three. Noah.

I looked up into the mirror to see the visage of the Millennium Earl stare back at me. Without his head, it nearly gave me a heart attack, but I calmed down easily enough.

"Yes, Baron?" I asked.

"You don't need to be so tightly wound, you know. It's only your family on the train. Besides, if they wanted to kill you and the others they would have done so, easily. You might have even taken down a fellow Noah, yes, but you would have fallen in the end" The Baron responded.

"Good point. But then that begs the question; why are they on the same train as us?" I said.

"Maybe they have the same destination" The Baron said.

The stigmata lined my forehead and my skin turned ash gray.

"Baron, do you mind?" I said.

"I just think that your black form really brings out your eyelashes" He replied mockingly.

I smirked, "At least you can have a sense of humour about this" I said grimly.

"Why the long face? Are you sad because you may have to fight another family member~~? Or is it because you don't want the person that you will eventually betray to get hurt~~?" The Baron said.

"A little of both. Anyways, I think we should head back now, they'll get worried if we stay any longer" I said.

"Just remember~~~, don't worry. Allen's gonna die anyway~~" The Baron said right before he disappeared along with my ash gray skin.

I sighed, washed my hands with soap this time because I realised I forgot, and headed back to the train compartment.

I got back right as Toma said something. "The ghost of Martel is…"

_**Earlier that day, at an unknown location (Most likely the Ark)…**_

Rhode was getting impatient waiting for Tykki and the twins to arrive. Count Millennie had called a meeting for whole family, talking about what happens now or something like that.

Rhode had the attention span of a child, -no pun intended-, so she really didn't pay attention to what he said.

The table was adorned with food; the Earl was treating it like any other meeting, so it probably wasn't _that_ important. With the Earl, though you couldn't be sure. Ever since the 14th's betrayal, the Earl has been _off_, to put it lightly.

Just then, both Tykki and Twins Jasdero and Devit, burst into the room, and took a seat at the table.

"Sorry for being, Count Millennium" Said Tykki as he took a seat.

"Yeah yeah what Tykki said" Devit said rudely.

"Yeah same as Devit" Jasdero said quickly and sporadically.

They both took their seats as an Akuma maid came by to give them a plate of food.

"Well well, now that the whole family is here- oh, wait, where's Moor?" Said the Millennium Earl.

Everyone looked around, they had forgotten about her as well. Rhode sweat dropped, they may have been sisters but that didn't stop Rhode from forgetting that she exists sometimes.

Tykki was the one that broke the silence, "I'm pretty sure she passed me on the way in. She seemed pretty angry; -again- at one of the Akuma maids, I think that she's still beating one of them" Said Tykki.

As he finished his sentence, Moor walked in and took a seat just as quickly as she walked in.

"Moor, good to see you~" Said the Millennium Earl playfully.

"It's good to see you as well, Count Millennium" Said Moor, with a smile.

Then she directed her concealed hatred towards Tykki. "I TOLD YOU TO WAIT UP! I SAID THAT I WOULD BE HERE IN A MINUTE AND YET YOU LEFT ME BEHIND!" She shouted angrily.

Tykki swallowed hard. This wasn't good. "Uh, Moor, I'm sorry that I didn't wait up for you, please forgive me?" He said.

Forgive wasn't a word that Moor knew in her dictionary. She lunged at Tykki and began beating him with her fists.

Soon enough, the Twins burst into the fight as well and started whaling on each other with no discrimination of just who they attacked anger.

Rhode wasn't helping either by egging them on. "Come on! Even I can hit harder than that!" She called into the blithering mass of Noah.

The Millennium Earl cleared his throat loud enough for everyone to hear.

Tykki and rest of the Noah stopped fighting each other and looked at the Earl. He was gesturing for them to sit down and they did so. Without question.

"Okay, now that the whole family is here, at last, I have of only Tykki and Moor for a very special mission" Began the Millennium Earl.

"Moor, I need you to observe the Exorcist party that is going to Martel, along with Tykki. Tykki, I am assigning you a mission, observe one Exorcist in particular, his name is-"The Earl handed Tykki a photo of a black haired boy that looked disturbing like the Millennium Earl.

"Adam Phoenix Millennium. Observe him until I tell you not to, I want to know where this kid is every hour of every day. Got it?" Said the Millennium.

"Yes, Count Millennium" Said Tykki as he got up from his chair. "May I go get changed first? My clothes are all wrinkled"

"Sure, go ahead" Responded the Millennium Earl.

Moor stood up as well and left.

"Now that they're gone, Rhode, there's something I want you to do, it requires your ability as a Noah, and I'm not going to repeat myself, so listen closely. Rhode, I need you to…"

_**Meanwhile, in Martel…**_

"Where are yooou~? Ghost of Marte~~l" Said the level 2 Akuma.

"Oh my, this place is like a maze. And it's so small!" Complained the Akuma.

"But then again, it's like a treasure hunt, so it's fun!" The Akuma said giddily.

_Somewhere else in the maze…_

"Damn… there aren't any other places to run" Said the older looking finder.

"At this rate, we'll be caught soon…" Said the younger looking finder.

The two people that were huddling together all of a sudden started speaking to each other. "Lala, run…" The taller of the two said.

Lala responded with a faint smile, "No, I'm alright Guzol. I'll stay with you. You're the only person that'll accept me, Guzol" Said Lala.

Just then, the Akuma opened the door and screamed "Found ya!" With clear murderous intent.

_**Meanwhile, (For the thousandth freakin' time) outside of Martel…**_

The moon was crescent shaped and shining as we ran towards Martel. Toma explained to us about how we had to take the last part of the journey by foot.

With a groan, we headed out; Toma was leading us towards our destination of Martel, but for some odd reason he kept on looking back at me and Allen. Something was clearly bothering him.

"The Ghost of Martel is only a doll…" Allen said under his breath as we ran.

I remembered the report now, thinking about it to keep myself occupied as I ran towards Martel.

_Living between the rocks and the dry lands, the citizens lived a horrible life. And thusly, Martel was called "The Land Forsaken By God". Living in despair, the people started to create dolls in order to forget about their situation._

_Joyous dolls that dance and sing. But in the end, they got tired of creating dolls and eventually moved away. However, the dolls that were left behind still moved as they did before._

_Even now, after 500 years._

"It wouldn't be surprising if Innocence was used to create these dolls" Kanda said.

A cold chill ran down my back, like footsteps over my grave.

We all stopped.

"Allen, did you…?" I asked.

He nodded.

"What happened to the finders?" Allen said.

"Damn, we tried to get here as soon as we got the transmission. But they're already dead" Kanda said.

Allen was speechless, I was the same. I knew how quickly Finders died but, seriously? It just felt like a bad omen that they were already dead. Like something else must be there to have killed them.

"Hey, you two" Kanda spoke up.

Allen and I's heads turned towards Kanda.

"I'll say this before we start. I don't care if either of you are on the verge of being killed, if I find that either of you are a nuisance, I'll leave both of you behind" I twitched slightly; Kanda was getting on my nerves.

"In war there are always sacrifices, so don't think of us as teammates" Kanda finished.

I glared at Kanda, "Likewise, Kanda"

I did my best to be unnerving with my glare (Granted, I had the Baron help me be more intimidating, and then there's my Noah-ness, but still) and it didn't even faze him.

Allen didn't even look towards Kanda, "I don't like your way of thinking"

BANG BANG BANGBANGBANGBANG! Akuma gunshots came from off in the distance, in the town. All of us turned to see that Akuma next to a cube.

We rushed in as fast as we could, I could hear the words of a human voice I didn't recognise.

"We… we won't hand over the Innocence to you, Akuma!"

Just as the Akuma raised his foot so that he could stomp it down, I burst from the shade and hit Akuma-zilla with Fire grenade.

Whilst the Akuma was stunned, Allen rushed in and yelled "STOP IT!" at the Akuma and slashed it.

Only, Allen hadn't slashed it, the Akuma had caught Allen's hand.

Allen's left eye activated, and that sort of my signal to attack.

"Innocence: Level 2! Flames of RAGE!" I screamed.

Conjuring up a gun and firing it, the Akuma acted as if he was getting hit by punches, but other than that it wasn't even denting it.

He hadn't moved a single inch from where he was standing.

"Who are you?" Allen asked right before the Akuma kicked Allen into the next century, or rather, through the wall.

"Allen!" I called out as I turned my attention to the Akuma.

Plan, plan, I need a pla- I know.

I took a few steps forward the blocked the Akuma's attack with a flame shield.

"So, Akuma, I take it you're a Level 2?" I said with a smirk.

"That's right, I've levelled up! And I'm going to kill you to evolve even further! Hahahahaha!" It said giddily.

Keep it distracted, just keep it distracted.

"So, uh, how many people did you need to kill in order to reach that level?" I said, pretending to be struggling against his attack.

"Ooooh, what an interesting question. Um, I guess it's somewhere around 50 people, and when I kill all of you it'll make 53!" It said happily.

"What's with the self-confidence?" I asked.

"Oh whatever do you mean?" It said with a sarcastic tone.

"I mean, why are you so confident when you're gonna LOSE!" I yelled as I knocked his attack off and rolled backwards.

Detonator in hand, C4 placed on his metal body, the stage was set.

3… 2… 1- WHAM! The Akuma struck harder and faster than I expected and knocked me into the wall.

"It's gonna be fun killing you… Tee hee hee hee!" The Akuma called out as he got closer to my still unresponsive body.

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**Author's notes: I couldn't even call this a dilema, _yet_ anyway. Adam has got enough power to wipe this Akuma 10 fold easy, so just how will this even be a problem? For those that don't understand why Adam didn't just destroy the Akuma outright, Adam can't show all of his power otherwise he'll be rather suspicious.**

**That's why he used his C4 detonator thing, to make it look like it was some kind of 'big finisher attack' that he put all of his energy into. Adam is an actor, and everyone else are the props.**

**'Till later today.**


	17. The Town of Martel: That Toma Is A Spy

**D. Gray-man The New Black World Order Chapter 18**

**Author's notes: Whoa! Never thought i could pull this over, and with two hours to spare...**

**I FUCKING DID IT! I wrote two whole chapters two days in a row. *Sweatdrops* My conscious refuses to leave me alone though, so sadly i'm going to give you guys another chapter tomorrow. Sad for me, good for you.**

**I'd like to give a shout out to xXAkunohanaXx for not only favouriting this story but also subscribing to me AND the story. Thanks bro. Maybe i'll have a chapter entirely dedicated to everyone that subscribed favourited rated and reviewed, eh? That's for me to decide though.**

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"He was different from the other guys in white coats. He was wearing a black one!" The Akuma said to itself.

The sound of smouldering caught my woozy attention. My vision was slightly blurry, and my ears were ringing.

"Oh… I get it" The Akuma said as he walked towards me and lifted me up by collar.

"This power… you're the ones called 'Exorcists', eh?" He shook me to get my attention.

"Yes, I'm a… Exorcist" I struggled to the last part out as my vision was failing more and more.

"Awe~, don't die just yet. I was hoping that I could have more fu-"

I interrupted the Akuma with a swift upwards claw.

"Innocence Level 3: HELLHOUND!" I yelled as the flames consumed my whole body.

"Ooooh, pretty. If you are a dog, can I put you down like one as well?" It asked mockingly.

Our claws collided.

I snarled, "This form is what I call 'Lycanthropy Mode', because of the similarity's it has to Werewolves, but you want to see something even cooler about this form?" I let the hand glide through me, and do no damage.

"Near invulnerability" I said as I slashed upwards and knocked him through the roof.

He quickly recovered as I jumped through the hole in the roof and landed up where he was.

"This is going to be sooooo fun; I can hardly contain my excitement!" The Akuma said.

I glanced at the cube, it was gone, along with the inhabitants, Kanda had been smart enough and ruthless enough to leave me behind and take the Innocence with him.

I smirked, "Akuma, have you at any point ever felt a thing called 'fear'?" I asked.

"What? No! I'm an Akuma; I don't feel anything but the joy of killing!" He said, raising his hands into the air like a cheerleader.

I sweatdropped. Riiiiiight. Totally not weird at all.

"Then you're going to experience it right now!" I shouted as I slashed his legs.

He jumped and drop kicked my head only to go straight through, part way through my head my head materialised, thus trapping his leg in my mouth.

I pressed down with hardly any effort, but I could already hear the sound of bending metal.

I spat him out behind me, only misjudging the force I used and he ended up sailing through air into a building a ways away.

I nearly leaped out of my skin when I realised which direction I spat him out in.

I un-invoked down to level 1 and sprinted after the Akuma.

"ALLEN!" I yelled out, hoping the Akuma hadn't found him yet.

I heard a grumble and looked towards my left, I saw Allen lying in a pool of rubble.

"Allen, you alright?" I asked.

He nodded and closed his eyes. Damn, he's unconscious.

"Hahahahaha! Ooooooh, the first one is with the second one! Killing you two will be so much fun! Not to mention skinning that female Exorcist alive will just as fun!" The Akuma said happily.

"Female Exorcist?" I asked, dumbstruck.

"Oh! You mean Kanda, he's actually a guy, contrary to popular belief" I said.

The Akuma sweatdropped, "You're kidding, right?"

I shook my head, "I'm afraid not. But trust me, I had the same feeling as you when I heard he was a guy, I didn't believe it for a second" I said.

The Akuma shook its head, "Never mind that! Let's fight! The sooner I kill you, the sooner I evolve, and the sooner I evolve the sooner I get to level up again!" He put his hands up again, looking like a school girl and said "I want to become the first level 4 Akuma!" He pointed his finger at me.

"Believe it!" The Akuma said, laced with arrogance.

"I'll take that into consideration" I said.

I began to focus, no time like the present to test out a new idea, right?

"This is the first time I've used this ability in battle, and you're also the first one to witness its beauty" I said as he rushed at me.

I dropped Allen and jumped up forming the experimental gun in my hand and shooting it once into the Akuma's arm, then falling onto the ground on the other side of the Akuma.

The arm fell off.

"AHHHHHH!" The Akuma bellowed.

The experimental gun was even more effective than I thought. I was limiting myself to less than an eighth of my power and yet in one shot the thing had taken the Akuma's arm clean off.

The WTS .50 BMG (BMG means Browning Machinegun Cartridge) Pistol. If you thought the Desert Eagle was strong, well, wait until you got a load of this.

This baby had enough power to utterly DESTROY any soft targets it comes into contact with.

"How'd ya like that, Akuma? Hurts, don't it?" I said mockingly.

Something was wrong, the Akuma's arm fell off but it didn't explode. It wasn't screaming in agony or-

"Over here, over here!" The Akuma called from right behind me.

I looked behind me and saw a duplicate of myself, a doppelganger, a clone of me, if you will.

Searing pain went through my left arm, like it had been burnt to a crisp.

"What…? How…?" I said, still in disbelief.

The flame conjured gun disappeared; it couldn't hold its shape because its owner was in too much pain.

I looked over at the ground and saw Tim Campy inside of the false remains of the Akuma.

"Hehehe, I copied it" The Akuma said.

"Copied what?" I asked.

"Your power…" It began.

The Akuma's legs expanded and became its normal forms' legs.

"You underestimated me, didn't you?" The duplicate of me said.

"You could say that. Now, when you mean you copied my power-"

"I'm at level 2. Unlike the ball-like Akuma, my abilities have been discovered. Well actually, I just found out about them myself" It said giddily, ignoring me.

"And this, is the evolved form of my ability…" It twisted my own features even more into something grotesque.

"NOW I'LL KILL YOU!" It yelled out happily.

It pointed my copied arm towards me and did nothing. He tried shaking it but nothing happened.

"You don't know how use my powers, do you?" I said with a grin.

"TELL ME!" It shouted.

Ding, taking advantage of someone's stupidity incoming.

"Oh, that's easy; you just need to imagine yourself in a fire based cage. That's the general gist of it, anyway" I said.

"THANKS FOR TELLING ME HOW TO KILL YOU, IDIOT!" He laughed loudly as he closed his eyes, his grin ever widening.

Suddenly, flames came out of his arm and surrounded him in cage.

"Hey!" He put his head in-between the bars.

"You, YOU TRICKED ME!" He yelled in frustration.

"Good luck trying to get out of that one, Akuma" I said with a smile. I readied my gun.

"Any last words, Akuma?" I said mockingly.

"Yeah~" He started.

His skin changed, he became a replica of Allen and slashed the cage open, "I should be ASKING YOU THE SAME THING!" It shouted.

I dodged backwards, I could barely dodge anything with Allen over my shoulder, so I ran, I from the Akuma with Allen in tow.

Allen woke up just as I heard a crack.

"Oh shi-"I didn't even have time to cuss before the ground gave way.

"AHHHHH!" Both I and Allen said in unison.

Allen caught a chandelier and I grabbed his leg for dear life, "I swear I just saw my life flash before my eyes" I said relieved.

"Uh, same here. Where are we? What happened whilst I was out?" Allen asked.

"Two things. One, that Akuma can copy people and their powers, so it has your left arm Allen and it used it to try and kill us. I could have beaten it but you were there so I sort of went with running away for your sake. Two, I don't know. I think it's the underground. We're lucky that this chandelier hasn't broken ye-"Just as I said that the chandelier broke.

"AHHHH-"THUD! "-Ow" I fell to the ground, ass and several parts of my lower back hurting like crazy.

"Ouch!" Allen called out as he hit the ground a second later.

Allen looked to his right, "This is…"

_**Back on the surface, with Kanda Lala and Guzol…**_

"An underground path?" Asked Kanda.

They were running over the rooftops, trying to avoid the Akuma threat that loomed over them.

"To protect from the strong sunlight, there's an underground district below the city. It's like a maze, so if someone goes in without knowing their way around, they'll get lost" Explained Guzol.

"But there's an exit that leads us through the cliffs and out to the sea" Finished explaining Guzol.

"The beast called 'Akuma' can fly… I think it's best that we stay underground" Said Lala.

Kanda stopped running across rooftops and went to the street level with both Guzol and Lala.

RING RING RING! Kanda's golem rang and caught his attention.

It worked its way out of Kanda's coat and flew about rather elegantly.

"Oh, it's Toma. How are things there?" Asked Kanda.

"I was investigating from a different block. There seemed to be a heavy battle going on, and then I heard a loud gun shot, not an Akuma gunshot, but a regular firearm one, but it was extremely loud though, and I don't know what kind of weapon could make that kind of noise, and now both Sir Walker's and Sir Millennium's whereabouts are unknown" Explained Toma.

"Oh, it seems that only the Akuma has come out from the roof. And he's trying to catch the golem" Finished explaining Toma.

"All right. I'll send my golem as a guide, so only bring Tim. We don't want to stay here much longer" Said Kanda.

"We need Tim's ability right now" Added Kanda.

_Meanwhile, on other end of the line…_

"Ok" Replied Toma.

The Akuma caught Tim and held it above its face.

"Hehehe! I'll kill you too!" Said the Akuma.

He threw Tim on the ground (Like a boss) and started whaling on the poor guy.

"Eiya!" Said the Akuma as he karate chopped the golem.

"Hyahahaha!" Laughed the Akuma.

_Again, on other end of the line…_

"All right. We're gonna go underground, but do you know the path?" Asked Kanda.

"I… do" Replied Guzol.

Guzol started taking off his hat, "Guzol!" Cried out Lala.

"I… have been living here for 500 years, there's no path I don't know" Said Guzol.

He finished removing his hat and showed his face in the light. The man was well and truly ugly.

Even the usually stoic Samurai gave pause looking at Guzol's face.

Guzol put his hat back on.

"Hehe… ugly, eh…?" Commented Guzol.

"You're the doll? It's amazing you can talk" Said Kanda.

"Yes… you guys came here to take my heart, right?" Asked Guzol.

"If it's possible, I want it now" Said Kanda.

Lala was shocked by this.

"We don't need the trouble of carrying around a big doll with us the entire way" Said Kanda.

Lala rushed in front of Guzol.

"Gu… Guzol's the only one that knows the underground path!" Exclaimed Lala.

"Without him, we'll just get lost!" Added Lala.

"And who are you?" Asked Kanda.

She stuttered, "I'm… Guzol's…-" Lala was interrupted by Guzol.

"She was just an abandoned kid…!" Said Guzol in a raspy voice.

He coughed, "I found her… so… I adopted her…!" Exclaimed Guzol.

Lala turned towards Guzol, "Gu… Guzol…" Said Lala as Guzol burst into a fit of coughing.

Kanda didn't respond until a familiar voice came around the corner.

"Sir Kanda" Said Toma.

"I'm sorry but I can't back off now. Also, we can't let your heart fall into the hands of the Akuma. You can keep it for now, but in the end, we're still gonna take your heart" Said Kanda.

In a rare moment for the Samurai, he apologised, "Sorry for dragging you into this"

Toma held out a pile of rubble.

"It's Tim Campy" Said Toma.

The pile of sparked with light as it took the shape of a familiar looking golem.

"Show me the info on the Akuma. Tim" Said Kanda.

Tim replayed the memory of what happened as best he could.

"The gun shot came from Adam's innocence. It appears to the have the ability to take any shape it's wielder desires" Said Kanda as he grasped his chin.

As Kanda watched the battle he said "It's like a mirror…"

"What?" Asked Toma.

"This Akuma… he's backwards" Elaborated Kanda.

"Watch. When he took on the image of the Cutpurse, his clothes, his arm… they're all backwards" Said Kanda.

"Cutpurse?" Asked Toma.

"It's Adam. See, even the slashed fake is backwards… and this fake had no insides, it was only a 3-D doll. This isn't just some copy ability" Said Kanda.

"More precisely, he's using something to copy off of…" Said Kanda.

"And whatever he copies, he can equip and use it as if it was his own-"He saw how Adam trapped the Akuma in the cage and chuckled slightly.

"That is an idiot Akuma if I ever saw one" Said Kanda.

(The Akuma in the background: "Thanks for pouring salt in the wound")

"But" Said Kanda, getting back on track.

"His stupidity aside, as long as I see him copying the sprouts left arm and attacking with it…"

"We should have searched for Sir Walker and Sir Millennium" Said Toma. He raised his head up.

"We can't even tell if Sir Walker is real, even if he is alive" Said Toma, grimly.

"No, we can tell, because the Akuma would be opposite of him. But I wouldn't put it past him to be so stupid, given what I've seen of his… intelligence. Or lack thereof for that matter" Said Kanda.

Kanda smirked. He was even better at being witty than usual. Something was off.

Kanda walked around the corner and his eyes burst wide open.

"Those two are gone!" Shouted Kanda.

"They… they ran away!" Exclaimed Kanda.

"Damn, where could they be…" Said Kanda, frustrated.

"Sir Kanda, behind you…" Said Toma.

Right behind Kanda, was the mirrored Allen.

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**Author's notes: It's actually takes a long ass time to write this stuff. Not writers block wise, but because i have to keep popping in and out of Word to check on what the characters say in the Manga.**

**Just wait for the next chapters peeps. Cho, i'm out.**


	18. The Town of Martel: Left This Place

**D. Gray-man: The New Black World Order Chapter 19**

**Author's notes: HAHA! Finally a chapter that's over that blasted three thousand mark. :)**

**I'll be posting one 5 thou chapter each day until the holidays here in Australia are over. I just like how the story is heading so much that i have to prevent myself from writing just so that i can read the FanFic's i've been meaning too.**

**Rate review Subsrcibe ETC ETC.**

**Disclaimer: Hoshino Katsura is the proud owner of a one D. Gray-man Manga. It's also parked in my space. 0,0**

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_Meanwhile, with Lala and Guzol…_

Lala and Guzol were falling quickly, _too _quickly, if they hit the ground now, both of them could have been seriously injured.

SCREECH! Lala's hand screeched as she gripped the wall with her left hand and grabbed Guzol with her right hand.

THUD! Guzol hit the ground and sand went in every direction.

"Are you all right, Guzol?" Asked Lala.

"Ah… thanks for slowing us down, the impact wasn't too serious" Responded Guzol.

"Thank goodness" Said Lala, letting her hair flow freely.

"Lala" Did you hand get crushed!" Said Guzol, getting up quickly in alarm.

"It's fine!" Replied Lala.

"In any case, as long as you keep living, I will too…" Said Lala.

"UGH!" Said Guzol.

"Guzol!" Said Lala in shock.

"Hah… hah… *Cough*" Said Guzol.

He spewed out blood onto the ground.

"Guzol…" Lala embraced him.

"There isn't much time left, is there?" Asked Lala grimly.

"What… can I do for you…?" Asked Lala.

_Meanwhile, with Adam 'n' Allen…_

Dark narrow corridor was in front of us, and a dark just as corridor was behind us as well.

"Yeah" We both sweat dropped.

"We're lost…" We said in unison.

"Wh… what should we do…?" Allen said.

I shrugged.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHH! WE SHOULDN'T HAVE WALKED AROUND SO CARELESSLY! THIS PLACE IS A FREAKING MAZE!" Allen was freaking out hard-core. He looked just about ready to leapt into my arms have someone cradle him at this point.

"I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO GET LOST IN HERE LIKE SOME MISSING CHILD~~~!" Allen continued to freak out.

"AT THE RATE WE'RE GOING, WE-WE-WE'RE G-G-GONNA DIE HERRRRREEEEEE! I DON'T WANT TO DIE UNDERGROUND!" I paused, thinking deeply.

"Hey, Allen, do you think getting buried in –this- position would be comfortable?" I said with a smirk.

I put myself in the whole 'model' position of laying on my side with my hand on my hip, trying to look alluring.

Allen's eyebrows twitched, "NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO JOKE AROUND ADAM!" Allen continued to wail like a banshee and I ended up joining in.

Hey, my persona wasn't built to handle situations like this, alright?

"If only Tim Campy were here…" Allen complained.

Just then Tim Campy burst through the wall.

_Back with Kanda Toma and the Akuma…_

"…Ka…Ka…ndaa…" Said the Akuma.

"It… it's a mirror image!" Said Toma.

Kanda activated his Innocence, "It seems he is just as stupid as I thought…" Said Kanda.

The Akuma glared wide-eyed at Kanda.

"Ka…n…da…do…!" Said the Akuma.

"Return of the Apocalypse" Said Kanda.

"Underworld Insects! 'First Illusion'!" Shouted Kanda.

"Die!" Added Kanda.

The Insects neared the Akuma, getting closer and closer until-

REJECTED! A giant claw came out of nothingness and deflected the hit.

The Akuma turned towards its saviour.

"Wa… Master Walker…" Said the Akuma.

Yours truly was in tow.

_What I happened to be around to see…_

"You are…?" Allen said.

"It's gotta be…" I said.

We hopped out from the hole that Tim Campy guided us too.

"Bean sprout! Cutpurse!" Kanda yelled at us.

"Hey, Kanda good to see a friendly fa-"

"What do you think you're doing…!" Kanda said, ignoring me.

"Why are you protecting the Akuma…!" Kanda asked.

I glared at him and turned towards Allen.

"Kanda, I have an 'eye' that can tell people apart from Akuma. This person is not an Akuma!" Allen shouted.

"Master… Walk…er… Master…Ad…am" The duplicate of Allen said slowly.

There was a gap in his face, like he was wearing some kind of skin suit…

"A gap in its face…?" Allen said, obviously noticing the same thing as me.

He ripped off the covering and revealed a very familiar face.

"TOMA!" Allen and I shouted in unison.

"What…" Kanda said, just as confused as I was.

My mind was racing, and just as I figured it out Allen shouted "THAT TOMA BEHIND YOU AN AKUMA, KANDA!"

I readied my Innocence, but I wasn't fast enough though.

The Akuma punched Kanda straight into the wall, turning most of it to rubble.

Kanda grunted in pain "Ugh!" whilst the Akuma had him in a death grip and laughed "Hyahahaha…" Kanda's sword wasn't by his side, this was bad.

"Ka… Kanda!" Allen shouted.

The hole was immensely deep; he had gone through several walls using Kanda as a wrecking ball.

Me and Allen tried our best to get to the room where both Kanda and the Akuma was.

_At the scene of current struggle between Kanda and Akuma…_

"You bastard… when did you…?" Said Kanda.

"Hehehe… when you were talking with him! I found the one you call 'Toma' at the same time I crushed that yellow golem" Said the Akuma.

He put his finger to his forehead.

"I thought if I wore this 'image' then you wouldn't notice. See? Didn't you notice that this is a mirror image too?" The Akuma dragged his fingernail down and cut the skin on its forehead open.

"And I made him wear the 'image' of the white haired one… Hehehe. I'm smart. It's a good thing I copied the intelligence of that black haired one" he continued to drag the fingernail down and cut open the 'suit' he was wearing.

"My skin is duplicating paper. I really got you good" Bragged the Akuma.

Kanda smirked, "…Ha!" Was all he said.

SLICE! The Akuma slashed across Kanda's chest and made a grievous injury.

"Ke ke ke ke ke ke" Said the Akuma.

The Akuma was surprised, "Huh?"

"Hurry up and die already!" Shouted the Akuma.

"D**i**_e__**?**_" Said Kanda barely audible.

Blood splattered to the ground.

"**I**… **I** **c**_a_**n**_n_**o**_t_ **d**_i_**e** **b**_e_**f**_o_**r**_e_ **I** **f**_i_**n**_d_ **t**_h_**a**_t_ **p**_e_**r**_s_**o**_n_" Said Kanda, ominously.

"_**I**_…" Kanda stopped as the life went out of his eyes.

"Gyahyahahaha! Awesome~~ he died while standing!" Said the Akuma.

_We enter the fray…_

Allen furiously punched Akuma through the wall and out of my sight.

"YOU BASTARD!" Allen shouted whilst punching the Akuma.

I aimed down the sights of the gun and saw the Akuma. I turned towards Kanda and Allen with still pointing my WTS .50 BMG Pistol at the Akuma.

"Is he breathing?" I asked.

"Yeah, he's still alive" Allen said, breathing a sigh of relief.

I turned back and saw that the Akuma had gone through the hole in the wall that he made on impact.

"Damn. The Akuma got away" I said through gritted teeth.

"We need to get away from here, I don't think Toma or even Kanda would survive if the Akuma attacked again" Allen said.

I nodded, "Agreed" I said.

We walked through the halls of the abandoned place to find some kind of refuge; Allen was carrying Toma whilst I was carrying Kanda.

Allen grunted in pain, "Master Waler… please leave me here. You're badly wounded too…" Toma said.

"I will do no such thing" Allen replied.

I could see Allen's 'thinking' face. A serious expression went hand in hand with thinking for Allen.

Singing. That was the first thing that crossed my mind when I heard the angelic voice.

"Someone's… singing…?" I said, bewildered.

Both Toma and Kanda were still unconscious and passed out, respectively.

"A song… I can hear it… tell me you hear it to Adam, otherwise I think I'm going crazy" Allen said.

"Y-yeah, I hear it too" I said, a little shaken. What on earth was singing in this godforsaken hell hole?

_Where Lala and Guzol are, right about now (HA! I figured out a way to not say 'meanwhile'!)…_

"Are you crying, Lala…?" Asked Guzol.

Lala turned towards Guzol, not understanding the question.

"That's a strange question to ask, Guzol" Commented Lala.

"I can hear something… something like… sadness…" Said Guzol.

"Am I a doll…?" Asked Lala.

"Guzol" Added Lala.

"Why did you lie about being a doll?" Asked Lala.

He paused quite a bit before answering.

"I am a very… ugly human. I didn't want you to be broken by strangers" Said Guzol.

"Lala… stay by my side, and when I die, let my hand be the one that breaks you…" Pleaded Guzol.

Lala was stunned at his request at first, but then she hugged him, and said "Yes, Guzol. Lala is Guzol's doll"

"What shall I sing next?" Asked Lala.

Tears came from Guzol's eyes, "I am ugly… an ugly… human…" Said Guzol, sadly.

_Little did Miss Sunshine know that we were watching…_

Lal jerked her head in surprise towards us.

My jaw basically hit the floor, and I picked it back up slowly as Allen spoke.

"Ah… sorry, we didn't mean to eavesdrop, but…" Allen paused dramatically for a second.

"…you are a doll, aren't you?" Allen finished.

Lala returned with our words with a glare.

…And then she picked up a pillar, why? Because FUCK YOU.

I sweatdropped alongside Allen and I could swear Tim Campy.

She threw it straight at us, though I didn't move.

SLICE! Straight down the middle of the pillar a line was cut. Using the momentum of the pillar against itself, I merely put a flame blade in the air and in essence it destroyed itself.

It crashed into the walls behind me with an almighty thud.

I turned back away from my handy work to see Lala throwing a pillar at me – again -, but this time there was no way to place something in front of it. Not enough time.

I dodged quickly and took Allen's example of running away.

"Calm down and let's taa- WAA!" Allen yelled out as he narrowly avoided another pillar.

I put Kanda down alongside the wall. No need to give him more reason to yell at me.

"Doesn't look like she'll listen…" I could faintly hear Allen say.

Lala picked up another pillar just as I had an idea.

Allen invoked his innocence just as Lala threw the pillar at him.

Allen caught the pillar, grinned, and threw it back.

"HERE!" He shouted out as the pillar neared Lala.

I averted my eyes from the Doll's imminent destruction.

Only, it didn't happen. The stone pillar crashed into the other pillars. "HEY THAT WAS MY IDEA PLAGERIST!" I yelled in mock anger.

Allen sweatdropped, "Adam, now is not the time to argue" Allen said.

"Oh really? I think it's the perfect time to talk about how you always rip off my ideas!" I shouted.

"I did not! I thought up the idea on my own! You must have read my mind, Adam" Allen said eye twitching.

"PLAGERIST!"

"IDIOT!"

"Are you two always like this?" Lala asked.

The horns came out by their own accord again, "Stay out of this, Lala" I said furiously.

She sort of scooted away a few inches.

"Grrrrrr" We both said at the same time before remembering the wounded.

"Oh, right, Kanda and Toma…" I sweatdropped at my own ineptness.

"I'll go get them, you talk to Lala. I think she likes you more" I said with a wink as I walked over to Toma and Kanda's unconscious/passed out bodies respectively.

You couldn't miss the steam that emanated off of Allen's head at that, and the blush.

After attending to the wounded as best we could, Lala explained how Guzol came to be here.

As I heard it, I could feel rage stirring. The same dormant rage that made me feel so hollow and like I had to destroy something surfaced as they spoke.

My rage felt as if it was vibrating the very air around me, but I wasn't. I felt like I was poised to rip the whole damn planet in half, and yet I was sitting silently.

A tall of the abandoned meeting the abandoned, it might have even made a good book talking about these two's adventures.

I snapped out of my rage trance when I heard Lala say "Let me live with him until the end! Please" She was pleading with us.

I felt a part of me die inside when I heard Kanda say "NO!"

"Wait until this old man dies…? We can't grant this wish…" Kanda said angrily.

"We came here to protect the Innocence!" Kanda shouted.

"Take that doll's heart now!" Kanda yelled.

"The doll that wished to stay with you until you die. Hah… hah… what did we come here for!" Kanda exclaimed.

"I… I can't do it" Allen said.

Kanda glared at him, "Sorry. I just can't do it" Allen added.

Kanda violently threw the Exorcist coat beside him at Allen.

"This coat isn't a pillow for the wounded…!" Kanda said.

"It's the uniform of an Exorcist!" Kanda added angrily.

Kanda took his coat and walked over towards Lala and Guzol.

"There are sacrifices that must be made, rookie" Kanda said grimly.

"Please! Don't take it…" Lala pleaded, looking at me Allen and then resting her eyes on the sword.

Guzol covered Lala's head with his arm, "Stop…" He said meekly.

"Then I will one the one!" Allen shouted randomly.

He stepped in-between Kanda and the couple.

"Will it be enough if I am the 'sacrifice' for these two?" Allen said.

"Until then, I cannot remove the Innocence from this doll! If I… destroy the Akuma, then there isn't a problem, is there!" Allen said.

"To make sacrifices all the time in order to win the war… it's futile!" Allen added.

THWACK! Kanda smacked Allen in the face with a punch.

Kanda almost fell over himself he was so weak.

"Master Kanda!" Toma called out.

I turned, "Toma. You're awake. When did you get up?" I said.

"Just now actually, Master Millennium" Toma replied simply.

We both turned back to see the two arguing again, "How incredibly naïve… selling yourself out for some pitiful strangers…?" Kanda said.

"ISN'T ANYTHING IMPORTANT TO YOU!" Kanda shouted.

Allen didn't respond for a second and I could feel the hurt practically emanating off his face.

"Kanda. Don't mention Allen's past, alright? How would you like if I mentioned your obviously-sexually-abused childhood, hm?" I said with a smirk.

Kanda glared angrily at me, "Cutpurse. Go get the Innocence, but talk about my past one more time and I skin _you alive. _Got it?" He said with obvious truth behind his words.

I gulped, he wasn't joking. I walked towards Lala, and sighed. I was caught between a rock and a hard place.

"I couldn't live with myself if I did, nor could I live with myself if I didn't take the opportunity to get the Innocence" I smirked.

"I truly am a grey person…" I mumbled, grinning at my own humour.

Allen looked back at Kanda, not shying away from him anymore and said "There was something important… I lost it… long ago…"

"It's pitiful… I don't have a noble reason… I just don't want to see something like this happen. That's all" Allen finished.

Absentmindedly, I walked behind the spot where Lala and Guzol were sitting, and leaned against the wall.

Something made my ears twitch, like a premonition of sorts. It felt as if though I remembered something, and that was what bugged me.

What it was I didn't know, at the time at least.

I tapped the wall behind me, and found it hollow. Something in the back of my mind was screaming at me that 'something bad is about to happen'.

Oh, it was the Baron.

_I'm telling you! Something bad is about to happen! I've seen enough scary movies to know that tragedy always strikes when they character least expect it!_

You've been watching too much Men In Black III, Baron.

_Perhaps. But still, you never know when- oh! Right, I remember this part. Since I was paying close attention to the Akuma in this city, I remember that the Akuma burst out of-_

PIERCE! An elongated claw came out of the wall, straight through me.

"Ow…" I briefly said before being yanked through the wall.

Being roughly thrown around like a ragdoll was painful, I can assure. But you know what was even more painful? The god damn blade going through MY CHEST.

The Akuma surfaced, "I got the Innocence!" It said giddily.

It let both Lala and Guzol drop to the ground

It looked at me, "And him! I've killed two Exorcists today! Hehehe~~" The Akuma chuckled.

I tried to say something, but it came out as jargon and unrecognisable.

I fell to the ground as well, blooding seeping into the ground quickly and quietly.

The Akuma marvelled at the Innocence, "Ooooh~~~ so _this_ is Innocence"

I saw Guzol and Lala, lying together, side by side, but I was certain that they were both dead.

I couldn't do anything, couldn't think straight. Couldn't do anything at all.

"Oh, and I suppose I have to thank him for telling me how to use his arm. He told me to think of a cage, a cage spawned, so I figured it out! I have his arm and the white haired ones arm! HYAHAHAHAHA!" The Akuma gloated.

The Akuma stopped and stared at Allen, "Return it. Return that Innocence" Allen said plainly.

He was surrounded with energy, his arm was deformed- no, it was _changing _into something else.

"Return it" Allen said once more.

"M… Master Walker's Anti-Akuma weapon… it's going to change!" I smirked despite the pain of lying in the sand with a hole in my chest.

Thank you, captain obvious.

I attempted to crawl, but instead couldn't, my arms weren't allowing me to move.

My legs wouldn't budge either. I couldn't do anything. But why couldn't I move? At all?

I gazed at the battle with watchful eyes.

Allen leapt at the Akuma.

"IDIOT! Your weapon hasn't fully formed yet…!" Kanda said.

Allen aimed his arm at the Akuma; it had turned into a cannon.

A hail of, bullets, (I guess you could call them?) came straight out of Allen's arm and at the Akuma.

The bullets were more like nails than anything, as evident by the fact that he could stand on top of them, effortlessly.

Allen gazed down and saw Lala and Guzol, again, but then quickly glanced at me. I could only guess that his rage was renewed.

"You can't hit me when I shift into sand~. I figured that out with the dead black haired ones intelligence" Giggled the Akuma.

Allen avoided one blow and ended up face to face with the Akuma, before the Akuma swallowed up Allen whole.

"Kekeke, gotcha!" Bragged the Akuma.

He had sealed Allen inside of his mass of sand body.

"It's over for you!" Yelled the Akuma.

An idea popped into my head, it was most likely going to be futile, but worth trying.

"Inno… cence" I barely managed to say.

"Lev… vel… three… Lyc… an…throp… y… mod…e" As hard as it was to say that, I still managed to say it, and the flames that surrounded me were a welcome sight.

The claws, the teeth, the legs, and finally, the chest.

DING! I was fully transformed; then, the hole in my chest patched up with flames and disappeared. As if nothing had ever happened.

I roared as the pain became immense before subsiding, damn, cauterising wounds HURT.

But, nearly out of breath from screaming so hard, I regained my composure and ran at the Akuma.

"Look! It's Master Adam! And he's in some kind of, 'werewolf' state" Toma said. I could barely hear him from this distance, but no mistaking that it was him.

"That? That is his 'Lycanthropy Mode' as he calls it. It sounds stupid, I know, but it's what he's 'dubbed' it as. He also has the advantage of near invincibility in that state, but something like that most likely costs him an extreme amount of energy" Kanda said to Toma.

Toma froze; "How did you know, Master Kanda?" Toma asked.

"I saw him use it to fight the Akuma from the record Tim had of the encounter. I saw the record back when the Akuma was still tricking me into thinking he was you" Kanda explained.

"Ah. I see" Toma said simply.

Just as I reached the Akuma, Allen burst straight out of its back (Alien's style).

"Wha…?" The Akuma said.

Allen had used his arm to block the Akuma's arm.

The cannon on Allen's arm narrowed into a Lightsaber like device.

Allen sliced the Akuma down the middle at the same time as me.

"Ah! My sand skin!" The Akuma said, worried.

"So this is your real body, huh…" Allen blinked in confusion as he saw me beside him.

"Adam…? You're alive!" Allen said happily.

"Save it for later. We've got a job to finish. For Lala and Guzol" I said.

He nodded, "For Lala and Guzol"

"I'm not giving you a chance to change your appearance again. This is it for you" Allen said.

"I still have your arm and his arm!" The Akuma shouted.

He made a barrier as Allen fired continuously at him.

CLACK! He had drawn his claw back to attack but he only met my claws as resistance.

"Just as Kanda needs to the skill of a swordsman to use his sword so that he doesn't wave it around like a stick, and Allen needs skills as a hand to hand fighter so that he can use his claws, I need to have serious concentration in order to use my power. You can't win as long as you are constantly bombarded!" I said triumphantly.

"Allen! Hit 'em with everything you got and then some!" I said encouragingly.

Allen nodded at me and picked up the pace at which he fired his Anti-Akuma weapon.

"Unforgivable!" Allen shouted.

"Sh… shit! What? Even though I used his hand…"

"WHY DID I LOSE…!" The Akuma shouted.

Allen froze, and then coughed up blood.

His weapon disappeared and I shouted out what it must have been. "REBOUND!" Damn it, of all the times…

"GOTCHA!" The Akuma shouted.

BLOCKED! The left free hand of the Akuma was blocked by Kanda's sword.

"Thanks Kanda, I was wondering how I was going to block that" I said playfully.

"Che. Allen you, you useless idiot… what do you think you're doing, running out of power at the last minute!" Kanda said as more of a statement than a question.

"I was talking to you…" I said.

"You were the bastard that babbled on about protecting those two!" Kanda shouted, ignoring me.

"I _hate _the way naïve people like you do things…" Kanda said.

The giant black fist of the Akuma was looming over them, only stopped by Kanda's sword.

"I _EXIST _HERE!" I said, getting angry.

"And even more so, I _hate _people who don't keep their promises" Kanda said.

I sighed, "He's just going to ignore that I exist for a while longer, isn't he?" I asked myself.

"Ha… ha. Whichever it is… you still hate me… I'll also think that Adam was talking to you" Allen said.

"Oh thank you Allen, but I'm pretty sure he's just ignoring that I exist because of my remark about his past" I said, sweat dropping slightly.

"It's not that I've run out of power or anything like that… I'm just taking a little break" Allen said.

"And I'm pretty sure Adam was still talking to you, Kanda" Allen added.

"…Everything you do is irritating… Both of you. Adam, you're an idiot and the Beansprout is a naïve idiot… there, happy that I talked to you now?" Kanda sneered.

SLICE! With one quick motion, Kanda severed the Akuma's hand.

I took it as my cue to do the same, SLICE! With one quick slice, the claw I had caught with my own claws was cut off, and fell to the floor, destroyed.

"SCATTER!" Allen and Kanda shouted.

With a swift slice I cut across the Akuma, cutting it in half, Allen and Kanda completely destroyed the remains of it though.

"E… EXORCISTS!" The Akuma screamed in its last dying moments.

BOOM! The gunfire and Hell's Insects combined created a gigantic hole through the ceiling that burst out to the top.

The Innocence fell back down to ground, in-between Allen and Kanda, whom had both fallen over in exhaustion.

I wasn't tired, not in the slightest since I had barely used any of my true power. But still, I had to act the part.

Doing my best to look tired and act tired, I walked over to the Innocence only to discover Allen was awake.

"Oh, Allen… man, I'm beat. I feel as if I could…" I collapsed into the sand and closed my eyes.

"…That" I mumbled before closing my eyes.

Allen reached out towards the Innocence (Note: I know what happened because my eyes were slightly open the whole time, just an FYI – _Adam_.

"Please… live… once more. For Lala's sake…" Allen said as he reached for the Innocence.

_**3 Days later, at another location…**_

"Aaah… blue skies. Eemrald green ocean. Por favor~ Italia~" Komui said in a sing song voice.

I was on the phone to Komui speaking about our mission's success, sort of. With Komui, for some inexplicable reason the guy just wouldn't shut up about his life.

I ripped off the bandage on my right arm, it covered about 3 quarters of my arm but it was completely healed now. As it turns out, going into my level three state _did _still hurt me, it's just my Innocence is smart enough to shut off all signals of pain during battle with it.

Effectively, my arm was burned to a crisp, and yet it had regenerated in just 3 days, completely and utterly.

"Yes, I know it's 'Italia' that we're in, and yes it is beautiful here, BUT WOULD YOU LET ME FREAKING REPORT THE MISSION-"

"-Don't speak of Italy that way, it's amazingly beautiful! IT'S BEEN THREE DAYS SINCE YOU DEFEATED THE AKUMA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING! EVERYONE IS USING ME LIKE A SLAVE! THEY DON'T LET ME GO OUTSIDE. IT'S LIKE I'M A PRISONER IN THE DUNGEON OF SOME CASTL-"

"SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

"…"

"Sorry Komui, I didn't mean to get so angry. It's just that it's really stressful to try and report like I should and instead you interrupt me-"

"-Where is Allen?" Komui said interrupting me.

"You know what, screw yourself Komui, Kanda, you can do the report. I'm going to find Allen and get the hell outta dodge" I said as I passed the phone to Kanda.

He che'd but then accepted the phone reluctantly, like it was a hand grenade. Kanda was on the bed adjacent from me.

"DID YOU HEAR JUST HOW MEAN HE IS TO ME KANDA! I JUST ASK ONE SIMPLE QUESTION AND HE JUST LOSES HIS TEMPER! HE'S JUST AS UNREASONABLE AS YOU, YOU KNOW!" Komui cried out.

I didn't hear the rest as I stepped outside, only to run into the doctors saying that I shouldn't be moving around at all for the next 2 months.

"I'm fine" I showed them my arm, "See? Completely healed. The rest of my body doesn't hurt either, thank you very much. I'm perfectly fine, I assure you" I said as I went by various nurses and doctors who tried to stop me.

_Back inside, with Komui and Kanda…_

Kanda handed the doctor the bandages and walked out, "So, I hear that Adam has healed already. Is that true?" Asked Komui.

"Yes, he just walked out a few seconds ago. Why?" Said Kanda.

"He regenerated his wounds that would normally take 2 months to heal in the space of 3 days; there might be more to him than what he appears to be" Said Komui.

"And just what are you suggesting?" Said Kanda.

"I'm suggesting that Adam is hiding something. Though, I don't think he was secretly put through the second Exorcist program like you, Kanda. It's possible that we're dealing with another type of Innocence than just parasite type. Possibly even an evolution of parasite type" Said Komui.

"Or… he's something other than just human. Keep an eye on him when you can, I get the feeling that Adam has ulterior motives" Added Komui.

Kanda che'd and then sighed, "I'll keep an eye out for anything suspicious, if I find anything of the sort, I'll tell you. Now will you leave me alone?" Said Kanda grumpily.

"Actually, you've got another mission…" Said Komui.

_Back where Allen and Lala are…_

After Allen had inserted the Innocence back into Lala, she began move around as per normal.

But, she, well, there was no more 'she'. She was more of an 'it' than anything else, really. 'It', lacked human emotion and expression, 'it' was no longer Lala, instead it was now just a broken down, old toy doll that would perform for its master as per its programming.

I walked up the steps and saw Allen sleeping, his head on top of his arms.

"Allen, you awake?" I asked.

"Am now" He said playfully.

"Wait, Adam?" Allen's head jerked back in surprise.

"What is someone who's supposed to take 2 months to recover doing here?" Allen asked.

"I'm healed. And before you ask, I don't know how myself" What I said was true. My injuries not _just _on my arm had healed completely.

It baffled me that my damaged body, my _pierced through the chest _body had healed in just three days. I didn't know what it was, but it sure was convenient.

"No way…" Allen said, bewildered.

"Yes, 'way', I'm healed. I can't explain it, but someone it feels, _wrong _that I'm healing this fast. Almost like I'm a monster in human form" I wasn't acting. Not for the most part, anyway.

"You aren't a monster, Adam" I sighed in response.

"I know. It's just that I don't think of myself as entirely human, either" I said.

It was an awkward silence between us. Like something that shouldn't have been said had been said. Maybe it had.

What could I say to get our minds off this gloomy subject? Nothing came to mind.

"…You know, you never told me what that form was. The one with the claws, I mean" Allen said.

"Oh, I think I know what you mean. I call that my 'Lycanthropy mode', as testament to how much it makes me look like a werewolf" I grinned as I realised something.

"Huh, funny. We have Frankenstein's monster, Kanda, a Werewolf, me, now all we need is a Vampire and we'll be a trio of superstitions. We could call ourselves 'Team three-star'" I said with a smirk.

Allen laughed lightly at my joke before curling up again.

I sighed, "Allen. If it's hard to hear, than just stop her. What that doll is, 'it' isn't Lala anymore. You know that"

"But it's their promise. The only one who can break Lala is Guzol" Allen said.

"I sympathise with you Allen, I really do" I said.

There was nothing else I _could _say. I couldn't exactly give him a vote of confidence. Could I?

"Allen, while I can sympathise with your troubles over this, as Exorcists we did our duty. And that is all anyone could ever ask of us, if you are so insistent on blaming yourself for letting Guzol get attacked by the Akuma, then you should blame me as well. And Kanda too, we couldn't do anything, together" I said.

"…I know that. But I…" The singing stopped.

We both jerked out head up. We walked inside of the place to see Lala kneeling beside a dead Guzol.

I kneeled over to Guzol, and closed his eyes.

"Sleep, my good man" I said.

"Thank you" Lala said.

I looked up and saw Lala staring straight at me and Allen.

"For letting me sing until I break. The promise has been fulfilled" Lala fell into Allen's arms after she said that.

I looked at Lala, and then at Allen.

He was crying, "What's wrong Allen?" I asked.

"Adam… although what you said is true, I want to become an Exorcist that can save everyone"

* * *

**Author's notes: I think that the way i made Adam integrate into the plot was better in this one than previous chapters, don't you agree?**

**Adam might have a new type of Innocence? DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN! There also catching on to him. DUN DUN DUNNNNN!  
How will this dynamic story end!**

**Review rate subsribe favourite and stuff, i'm out. LATERZ.**


	19. Sir Komrin 2 And A Chainsaw LOLWUT

**D. Gray-man: The New Black World Order Chapter 20**

**Author's notes: Okay, THIRD TIME i've tried to write this. Hopefully, i won't get hit by blue screen 'o' death this time.**

**Dis-freakin'-claimer: After fighting the ANBU Black Ops and Star Clan, i've finally gotten hold of the secret formula of how Hoshino paints D. Gray-man. Hey, it's a start. Any good artist needs a good pen 'n' ink.**

* * *

"Hehe, it's finally done" Said Komui.

Komui was feeling sure of himself for finishing off his latest creation; Komrin.

Komui's feet were on one of the only places on the ground that wasn't covered by tendrils, wearing his sleepers as per usual.

"Supervisor, what's that unnecessarily bulky robot?" Asked one of Komui's colleague's.

"I told you, it's Komrin" Replied Komui.

Lenalee was staring at Komrin; agape at its odd design and structure.

"Brother…" Said Lenalee.

"Komrin…" She added.

_**At the underground water path way thing (Hey, I never bothered to even remember its name)…**_

Allen yawned as he stepped off the boat. Kanda wasn't with us; he said that he had 'another mission' close by that he had to go to as soon as possible.

"We got back pretty late~~" Allen said.

"This storm delayed our train" Toma responded.

We both stepped off the boat.

"Strangely, even after three days of rest I still feel beat. But there's something I need to do first. Allen, do you mind taking the Innocence to where it's supposed to go?" I said, already walking away.

"Sure. No" He yawned, "Problem" He stared at the Innocence in his hand, "Not that I have a choice when you're concerned but anyway" He mumbled.

"Toma" Allen said.

I could hear them speaking around the corner before I passed out of range. I needed to speak with Hevlaska.

BOOM! Lenalee fell down the stairs right in front of me.

"Lenalee! Lenalee, are you alright?" I said, kneeling down to pick up Lenalee.

Allen came rushing around the corner and saw Lenalee in my hands.

"You're back, Allen, Adam…" Reever said.

I hadn't noticed him before, what with being preoccupied to try and get Lenalee awake of course.

"Reever!" Allen exclaimed.

He fell into Allen's arms.

"This wound… did something happen?" Allen asked.

"R-run" Reever struggled to say.

"…From what?" I asked.

"Komrin is coming…" Reever said.

"Huh?" "What?" I and Allen said respectively.

CRASH! A giant robot came crashing around the corner next to the stairs.

Allen and I stared wide-eyed at the machine.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?" I said completely surprised.

"It's here!" Reever said with a nervous smirk.

"OH CRAP OH CRAP OH CRAP OH CRAAAAAAAAP!" I cussed as I dodged its giant metallic body falling straight into the water of the canal.

I think at the time Allen said something too but I wasn't paying attention.

"WHAT, THE HELL, ON EARTH, IS THAT THING?" I breathed out, taking deep breaths in-between my words.

"…Located!" The Robot said.

"Lenalee lee. Allen Walker. Adam Phoenix Millennium. Three Exorcists located" The robot added.

It had a giant beret on it, with a 'K' on the very top of it, with a 'SCIENCE GROUP' etching into the side of its head.

"Run Allen, Adam! This thing is after Exorcists!" Reever explained.

Its arms began spinning widely and rapidly through the air, "It's time for surgery~~!" The robot said as it chased after us.

"ITS GAINING ON US, IT'S GAINING ON US!" I said worriedly.

"REEVER! I PRESUME THAT SINCE THAT IT HAS A BERET ON IT WITH A GIANT 'K' AND HAS 'SCIENCE DEPARTMENT' EMBEDDED IN ITS HEAD THAT KOMUI MADE THAT ROBOT?" I asked.

"Yep. You presume correctly, that thing is Komrin, an omnipotent robot, made by Komui" Reever said with a scowl.

"And, as you can see, it's out of control!" Reever added.

"HOW!" I shouted. I had always heard the reasons not to trust the science department by Cross on a near daily basis. He would tell me about the horrifyingly graphic experiments done not only by him for when he was once a scientist in the science department.

He even told me of his own experiments. I think I remember an experiment that he told me of involving goat's blood, his father's car and trying to get the car to go faster. Or something. I think he said that he abandoned the idea and left outside of a manor in England so that they could deal with it.

"I heard the stories about Komui from my Master Cross, is it true what they say about the Chicken experiments?" I whispered to him.

He nodded. I gulped. Now I was going to have nightmares for the rest of my life.

"What happened?" Allen yelled as we continued to run for our lives.

_That was only 30 minutes ago. As usual, we were busy doing work that we aren't going to paid for…_

"Should I change jobs?" Said one science department member.

"If I can't sleep at all, I'd rather not wake up at all" Said Tapp.

"I can't finish… I think I won't be able to finish for the rest of my life…" Others complained.

"Don't give up, it'll all be over someday…" Said yours truly, encouragingly.

Lenalee came in like a gift from god, and asked "Anyone want coffee?" We all raised our hands in unanimous decision.

"Heeeey. Is everyone awake~~~~?" Asked Komui.

Now, normally whenever Komui is in that happy of a mood, we all usually run away in fear of what comes next, but today, we glad, even if temporarily that we had not run away.

"Look, look!" Shouted Komui, gesturing behind him.

"Tadaaa! Our science group's saviour, 'Komrin II'!" Said Komui.

"Wait wait wait, what happened to 'Komrin I'?" I asked, interrupting his flashback.

"…I don't know and I don't think anyone would want to know just what Komui did with the first one…" Reever responded grimly.

"Ooookay. Continue" I said nervously.

_The entire science department was stunned at just what the heck the robot was going there…_

"Supervisor, what's that unnecessarily bulky robot?" I asked.

"I just old you, it's Komrin. I just finished building it" Bragged Komui.

"It has my brain and personality 100% copied. He's an Innocence-made omnipotent robot!" Sang Komui.

"He can not only decrypt files, but he has surgical and care support for Anti-Akuma weaponry" Added Komui.

"It's another me! Now it will make our work easier~~~!" Said Komui.

We were all very grateful to the Supervisor for building it, that was, until it _drank._

"Hey brother. Is Komrin allowed to drink coffee?" Asked Lenalee.

"What are you saying, Lenalee? Although I said its 100% like me, Komrin is a robot. Of course it can't drink coffee…" Replied Komui.

We all stopped and stared at Komui as we realised just what that meant.

"It drank it…?" Asked Komui, nervously.

The robot started making odd noises and just stabbed Lenalee with a syringe out of nowhere.

"LENALEE!" Screamed Komui.

"I… am… Kom… rin…" Said the robot slowly.

"I make Exorcists stronger… that woman… is… an Exor…cist" Added the robot.

"Therefore, I must perform surgery and make her macho" Said the robot.

"WHAAAAAT!" Screamed everyone in the science department in unison.

After that, he tore up the science department.

"And that's the story. Sorry it's such a lame story" Reever said.

"Yeah, if you don't mind, I'm going to go throw up right about now" I said, face already turning green.

I put my head over the railing and heaved down the central shaft of the building.

My stomach rumbled.

"Great, everything I ate on the way here is now heading towards the first floor" I mumbled.

Allen and Toma looked a bit green themselves, "Better?" Reever asked.

I nodded, "Much, much better" I sweatdropped.

"Although I think there about ready to spew themselves" Pointing towards Allen and Toma.

Just then, both Toma and Allen ran over to the edge and started spewing themselves.

I sweatdropped again, "I guess it's just the season" I muttered.

"So, is Lenalee going to be fine? That must have been some stuff that Komrin injected her with" I said, Lenalee weighing down on my back.

"She's only sleeping because Komrin hit her with the Anaesthetics" Reever said.

Toma and Allen walked back over, "My apologies for losing it, Master Millennium and Master Walker" Toma apologised.

"Don't. It doesn't suit you to grovel, you know" I said with a smirk.

"I wasn't grovelling Master Millennium, I was just apologising for my indecency" Toma replied.

Reever was saying something to Allen but I wasn't actually paying attention. I was more focused on the tingling on the back of my neck. Something _bad _was about to happen. I could just feel it.

"Toma, I mean that you don't have to be so formal all the time. Relax, the way I see it, if you die standing up and with regrets, then you've lived what I could consider a full life" I said with a smile.

"It's not like speaking casually would _kill you _or anything" I added with a shrug.

"I suppose so" Was all he said before turning back to look forward.

"Look!" He pointed towards the central shaft of the building. And in the central shaft, was the science department, part of it anyway, on the elevator.

"Heyyyyy, are you alive~~!" The people from the platform called.

"Supervisor! Everyone!" Reever responded.

"Squad leader! Hurry over here!" Johnny called out.

"Nice to see that I'm wanted…" I sweatdropped.

"Oh, Allen Adam and Toma are back too. Get over here…" A random science division member called out.

"LENAELEE! ARE YOU STILL SLIM!" Komui shouted out.

CRASH! Komrin broke through the wall behind us. "IT'S HERE!" Reever shouted.

WOOSH! One massive cannon popped straight out of the platform and pointed towards the robot.

"Don't underestimate the science group!" Johnny said angrily.

"SHOOOOT!" Called out the rest of the science department.

Komui latched onto Johnny's face, "Don't shoot my Komrin!" Komui pleaded.

BAMBAMBAMBAMBAM! The cannon shot everywhere and destroyed everything in sight; if I hadn't created a sphere of protection when I did who knows what would have happened to Toma? Or me?

I un-invoked my innocence breathed a sigh of relief, "Thank you, Mast- Adam, thank you, Adam" Toma said, slightly stuttering.

"Anytime Toma. But what the hell was that?" I said more to myself than anything.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Reever shouted so loud that I felt my ears bleed slightly.

"There was a traitor…" A person on the platform replied.

There was a massive uproar from everyone on the platform as they beat the crap out of Komui and tied him up.

"Komrin…" Komui cried out.

"Adam might have a new type of Anti-Akuma weapon" Komui said to the robot.

"Say what?" I replied, agape.

"New… type?" The robot replied simply.

"Order placed! Adam Millennium, due to possible Innocence evolution, is now placed as first priority" The robot added.

GRAB! A hand shot out and grabbed me by my ankle.

"Mast- Adam!" Toma called out.

"Ah! Adam!" Reever shouted.

It dragged me along the ground, but I wasn't letting go of my spot.

"Talking Adam into surgery room" The robot said menacingly.

"I DON'T WANT TO GO IN THERE!" I screamed, faking freaking out.

"Now, squad leader Reever! While Komrin is taking the bait, bring Lenalee over here!" Komui said.

"HOW EVIL CAN YOU GET!" Reever replied.

I could hear them singing out evilly, the robotic duplicates of Komui that is inside of the robot.

"Surgery, surgery, when in doubt… surgery" They sang.

"Enough of this!" Allen said as he activated his Anti-Akuma weapon.

The sound of someone spitting caught my attention. And then the thud of Allen falling over.

What…? I couldn't comprehend what had just happened, until I saw Komui standing tall with a blow dart pipe in hand.

"Allen!" I called out, forgetting temporarily on my problems.

"Forget this" I said as I activated my Innocence.

"Innocence! Level 2: Flames of RAGE!" I said as I created a good ol' Desert Eagle to shoot the blasted machine.

"TAKE THI-"I was interrupted by one of the hands stabbing me with a needle.

My whole body felt numb, "Whaz waz zhaz?" My speech was slurred. Yep, anaesthetic, I had been injected with an anaesthetic.

I heaved up the contaminants, and feeling returned to my body just as I was about to be dragged inside of the machine. But not fast enough.

"Wreever!" I called out, my tongue still somewhat numb.

He looked at me just as the little robots hoisted me in by my arms, "Gev out of heere. Twake Lwenawee rand Awwen out of hwere as fwast as possibwle" I managed to say, though he probably didn't understand a word I said.

"Wrun" I said right before the doors fully closed on me.

WHAM! My face was smacked back into the door; someone was tugging on my coat.

I smirked, or at least I did something that resembled a smirk I hoped. But my coat was taken off before I could use the partially open door to my advantage.

The coat stayed caught in the door against whatever weight was bearing down on it.

I heaved again; this time I could feel most of my limbs, instead of just being able to stay conscious.

I was continuously dragged through the oddly big hallway to the ER (Note: It looked like a hospital anyway – _Adam_).

I was layed out on the table, this time I felt sick, but instead coughed up some foul smelling liquid I could only presume was the actually Anaesthetic.

I had complete function of my body again. "Now, this robot is going to pay!" The horns came out again, needless to say.

Making a giant flame chainsaw, and then using it to murder the two robots that dragged me into the operating room, I ran through the complex. The place was deceptively small on the outside.

One with scissors ran at me, SLICE! He laid on the grown, internal components strewn on the floor. Oil everywhere, including on my jacket.

Another dozen stood in my way. SLICE! SMASH! DESTROY! CRUMBLE!

50 Small robots opposed me. 50 _dead _robots lay on the floor adjacent from me.

I brushed my hair back into place with my right hand, and sighed. Now to figure out how to get out of here.

I stopped, turned around, and saw the way I came in. Oh, _that _would be the exit. I'm beginning to think that I'm just one big plot convenient point after another, but whether or not this story actually happened is a subject I can talk about another time.

I revved my chainsaw and heard a gulping from outside.

"COMIN THROUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!" I shouted as I stabbed the door with my chainsaw and cut it down the middle.

"TAKE THAT YOU RETARDED, ASSHOLE OF A ROBOT!" Pouring out my anger onto the robot that still resided within me from the mission to Martel, I sliced open the door, just as I saw Lenalee fly through the air.

"Oh, Lenalee, nice to see y-"I was interrupted by the attack by Lenalee that cut the robot in half. My arm was a few millimetres away from where she cut it in half.

"Adam! Are you all right?" Reever asked.

"Oh? Me? I'm just peachy. I don't know why but I kind of rejected the anaesthetic and heaved it all out. Probably shouldn't have mentioned the heaving" I added the last part after I could see Reever's facial expression turn nasty with disgust.

"The ability to heal quickly and reject contaminants, you're both two of a kind and one of a kind, Adam" Reever said with a smirk.

'The Ace and Two of Hearts' was brought to my mind for some reason. I shook my head, "Reever, we should go before they destroy the robot along with us" I said, sweat dropping.

He nodded, "Right"

After creating a pathway of flame to platform, curving it around the robots body and then eventually getting on the platform, we got there just in time to see Lenalee land on the end of the cannon, about to destroy the robot.

"Destroy it! Destroy it! Destroy it!" The entire science department was shouting out that phrase.

Something inside me felt, _off_, looking at Lenalee the way she was. She looked, somewhat lifeless, like she had seen much, _too _much for her own good. She even emanated an aura of ice-cold waves that I could feel with my spine.

Dafuq? Was all I could manage to think before she started walking towards the robot.

Komui stepped in front the robot, trying to defend it. I face palmed and just watched on at the scene.

"Wait, when did he get over there?" I asked out loud.

Reever just shrugged.

Intrigued in what he was going to say, I walked out onto the cannon and beside Lenalee.

"This thing tried to kill me. Do you mind if I help?" I said with a smirk. I was annoyed and impressed with myself. Impressed at just how quickly I managed to come up with a lie and annoyed that I had managed to become even better at coning. I guess old habits just die hard.

"I don't mind" Lenalee said without emotion. Her voice was ice, and it slightly perturbed me.

She turned back to her brother, and I raised my Innocence hand, "Komrin is not evil! The coffee is evil!" I rolled my eyes.

"Hate the crime, not the person. Hate the coffee, not Komrin, Lenalee, Adam" Komui pleaded.

"Supervisor Komui" Both I and Lenalee said in unison.

"Be ashamed of yourself for a little while" She said as she drew her leg back.

"Ditto" I said as I fired a barrage of bullets from my G18.

! THWACK! My barrage of bullets and Lenalee's single kick knocked the robot (Note: And Komui, though I didn't know how he survived – _Adam_) off of the cannon.

BOOM! The robot exploded as it hit the bottom.

I sighed, "Well, later Lenalee. I've got something to do, oh, and please look after Allen, he's still unconscious over there in the corner" I said pointing to Allen's rigid body over on one of the walkways.

She nodded, "Okay" Was all she said.

I created a bridge back to the platform.

"I would ask you all too please leave, I need to see Hevlaska immediately" I said formally.

They bowed and left, before slouching over, mumbling something about 'formality to Exorcists' and their 'work'. Something about it being similar I think.

They stepped off of the platform onto one of the floors as I activated it, going down to the bottom floor.

As I went down, I touched my forehead, and saw that there was still oil all over me. Based on the colour of the oil, I looked like a Noah, or at least I thought I did.

Funny, that.

I reached Hevlaska's chamber.

"Hevlaska. You there?" I called out.

"Yes… I am here…" Hevlaska replied, startling me.

"Hevlaska, I need you to examine my Innocence. On my latest mission, well, my _first _mission anyway, my body healed 2 months' worth of wounds in 2 and a half-ish days" I said.

"All right… I will examine, your Innocence…" Hevlaska said.

Getting touched by Hevlaska doesn't make the second time any better, believe me.

"Strange. Your Innocence… I can't sense it in your arm anymore… but I can still feel its presence…" Hevlaska said, bewildered (I think).

Before I could ask what she meant, she talked again "Wait… I can sense it… it… isn't _just_… inside of your arm… anymore" Hevlaska said.

"It's… it's… all over your… right side… interwoven with your body…" Hevlaska continued.

"'Interwoven'?" I repeated.

"Yes… the Innocence has melded with your body… further than just your arm… and it also appears angry…" Hevlaska said.

"'Angry'? At what?" I asked. This was really getting odd.

"Angry… because it senses a threat… a shadow of a person… that is the colour of shadow… is nearby… it says…" Hevlaska said.

"'That is the colour of shadow'…" I repeated to myself.

I nearly yelped as I realised it.

Noah! Wait, 'nearby'? Just how near?

"Just how near does my Innocence say this 'shadow of a person' was to me?" I asked.

"It says… within 200 metres… but it can't pinpoint a particular time… because it can still sense it… whatever this 'it' is…" Hevlaska answered.

I bit my lip and tasted blood, "So, my Innocence senses a threat, is actually overriding my body and spreading, but what about the curse on my arm? Does my Innocence say anything about that?" I said.

"It briefly mentions it… 'appearances are deceiving… you of all people should know that'… is what your Innocence says" Hevlaska said.

"Ooookay" I sighed, "Thanks Hevlaska, that helped" I mumbled the last part under my breath "Sort of".

"May god be with you… Adam" Hevlaska said as she put my down.

I pulled the lever (Note: Or was it a button? I forget – _Adam_) and saluted Hevlaska as I lifted off.

I went to the public laboratory; it was the only place left standing after the attack, so I had an inkling that they might be there.

I opened the door to see an unconscious Allen lying on a striped couch.

"How's he doing?" I asked, startling Lenalee.

"Allen? He's fine. He's just asleep now" Lenalee said.

I took a chair and sat beside her.

"So, what's with the skin tone? You get caught up in one of my brothers experiments? Or one of his inventions?" Lenalee asked.

"Skin tone? Oh, you mean" I gingerly touched my forehead and felt the oil, "-This? It's just oil from when I broke out of the Komrin robot" I said nonchalantly.

"Well, you should probably change. You're staining the chair…" She said, pointing at the stripy chair that now had become a solid one colour.

"Oh" I said, "Woops. Actually, I'm pretty sure my room was destroyed in the attack" I added nonchalantly.

"It's okay, you can use my room to wash off" She said with a smile.

I smiled warmly back, "Thanks Lenalee. Can I move in with you too?" I said with a smirk.

She blemished and looked away, but for some reason I felt compelled to look at her face, so I cupped (Note: It turns out that couped actually means 'cleanly cutting off something'. O,O) her face and…

* * *

**Author's notes: Ooooooooh C*CKED BLOCKED MOFO'S.**

**I'm not sure just how i want this scene to end, so i'm leaving it up to you guys.**

**On the poll, (That you get to by going to my profile page) depending on which gets three votes first, i will then write the next chapter accordingly.**

**Vote for 'The relationship should end on a high-note. IE, they kiss right before the final battle and then Adam dies Lenalee cries and stuff' and Allen will interrupt them, becoming a running gag of them almost kissing.**

**Vote for 'They are madly in love with each other and bang at one point in the story line' and they'll kiss. Note: This needs two more votes. So if you vote once then don't get your nickers in a twist if it doesn't get picked.**

**Vote for 'The relationship should catch on fire and they should hate each other to their last breaths! MUWAHAHAHAHAH! (You're a crazy person you know that?)' and she pulls away. Note: This needs two more votes. So if you vote once then don't get your nickers in a twist that it doesn't get picked.**

**Vote for 'The relationship should end and it becomes a sort of awkward style of "Yeah, we kinda used to date" situation that people only mention at the water cooler' if you want a filler chapter with a dating contest between Allen and Adam. To see who Lenalee wants to date more.  
You heard me.  
At the end of the chapter, you guys get a second chance at voting for how their relationship should turn out. Then, it'll reveal just whether or not they kissed based upon what you guys wanted to happen, ya dig? 'Cuz i'll just skip over the rest of the issue that it's based on and move onto the next.**

**Peace out, and if i don't get another vote by tomorrow, they _kiss_~~~~.**

**Komui, you cannot make a second account just to vote that it goes dones in flames.**

**You have been warned.**


	20. Sexual Encounters EXCLAMATION POINT

**D. Gray-man: The New Black World Order Chapter 21**

**Author's notes: Seriously people, 4 of the people that viewed my previous chapter (A few hours after it went up that is) and yet none of you voted.**

**I am disappoint.**

**This chapter is, sadly, just over the three thou mark, my bare minimum for how long i want my chapters to be. Sorry. This also sort of filler-sih, since the plot doesn't progress one bit. Besides getting Adam to the public library.**

* * *

…gently stroked her chin. I could feel my heart skip a beat for a second.

I got closer to her face, closer and closer, until, we made contact. I kissed her gentle lips; they were on top of mine. It was, enjoyable. I liked it.

We broke it off, and I could tell from the look in her eyes when she opened them that she wanted more, but the she looked away and started spitting and coughing.

I sweatdropped, "Am I that bad?" I said in disbelief.

"No, it's just, your lips taste like oil" She said through repeated coughing.

I sighed, "Sorry about that. I guess I'll go get changed then. Where is your room, by the way?" I asked.

"XXXXX floor and XXXX door to your XXXX" She responded.

"Thanks" I said as I got out of my chair. "You might want to release my hand, Lenalee. Unless you want to bathe with me" I said with a sly grin.

She blushed red like a tomato and couldn't let go of my hand fast enough.

Just as I was about to leave, I turned and said "Lenalee, you might want to know that the sponge on Allen's head has already dehydrated. You should refresh it" I turned back around and waved.

"Wait!" Lenalee called out for me, "Welcome back, Adam"

I grinned, "You know, the way you say that, you sound like a house wife. Maybe mine in a few years' time, eh?" I winked at her and left. I could hear the muffled shriek from her as I closed the door.

Sighing, I followed Lenalee's direction to her room. The door was open, oddly enough, but I didn't really bother to question it until I saw one of the science department people sniffing her panties.

"Wha-? What the HELL are you doing here?" I yelled in outrage.

The middle aged man sweatdropped, and ran away as fast as he could, trying to conceal his face.

"Ooookay. Note to self; get a lock for Lenalee's door, a sturdy one" I said out loud to myself.

I took off all my clothes and headed for the shower. Using a vigorous amount of soap to get the smell of oil off me only for it to be replaced with Lavender, I looked at myself in the mirror. And saw the visage of the Millennium Earl.

"Baron, what is it?" I asked.

"Always so formal~~~. Can't a fella just say hi to his servant?" He said nonchalantly.

"Not when you're involved. What is it?" I replied.

"Well~~~~, to tell you the truth, it's about what Hevlaska said" The Baron said.

"Yes?"

"She said a person 'the colour of shadow' and you've already realised that she probably means a Noah, right? So that I know we're on the same page here"

"Yes, I had come to that conclusion myself. And I've been wondering where this Noah could be"

"That's what I came to talk to you about"

"Oh? You came to tell me you know where the Noah is?"

"Not _exactly_, it's just a hunch"

"'Just a hunch'? Then what _is _said hunch, Baron?"

"It's nothing. It's a stupid idea"

"If you say so" I responded.

Now I was facing a problem, how do I either clean my clothes or get back to my room without clothes on.

I went with cleaning my clothes. Thankful that she had a washing machine in her bathroom; I put my clothes in and watched as the water spun 'round and 'round.

Making sure to separate the whites from the reds, I waited for what felt like forever. I used the time constructively though, thinking over the floor plan of the order and thinking about just how my Innocence could sense a Noah within 200 metres of me.

I ended up suspecting that someone in the Order was actually a Noah, but why they were here was my question. They don't show up 'till right before Lavi shows up and starts making his reports.

So why where they here? Maybe they were spying a particular person? Did they suspect I was a Noah? Or are they here for a different reason?

Why they were here was annoying me to no end. I couldn't figure it out and it bugged me. I sighed, even for once I couldn't figure out the puzzle, but that might be because I don't have enough pieces.

So, my Innocence was conscious enough to know that I was a thief, or used to be I guess. It also wants me to forgive it for killing my parents, but why should I? Why shouldn't I hate it? It deserved whatever it got as far as I was concerned.

Not to mention that it's spreading, like a disease throughout my right side. 'Appearances can be deceiving', just what did it mean by that? I have a curse on my arm; does that mean it isn't actually a curse? Then what is it? Or is it reminding me that Baron will eventually kill me and not forget it?

I sighed again, I was thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking and it wasn't getting me anywhere. Somewhere along the line was the answer that I sought, but where was it?

DING! The washing machine was done, but I paused a second before opening it. Did they have washing machines in the late 1800's? I shrugged. The Black Order is known for making items that are way too advanced for its time.

After putting my clothes back on and adjusting my tie, I went to door. Time to leave.

I made a grab for the knob to come up empty, the door was already opening and I and accidently grabbed the waist of the person opening it. It was Lenalee.

She pulled back as did I, but I still held my grip and we bounced back and collided into each other, and because of her short stature (Compared to me that is) I ended up falling on top of Lenalee.

"WHOA!" I said as I fell over onto Lenalee, she said roughly the same thing.

I had never been this close to a woman before. Chest touching, hands holding, legs intermingled.

I blushed like a tomato before turning my head away, Lenalee did the same thing.

I looked away and saw Kanda staring at us, "Did I interrupt something?" He said stoically.

"Uhhhhh no?" Both I and Lenalee said the same time, and it came out as more of a question than a statement.

"Che" Was all he said before simply walking away. But then he stopped.

"Lenalee, Adam, Komui said that both of you have to report to him in his office for a mission tomorrow, after you've had some rest" He started walking away again.

I turned back to Lenalee and saw that she had turned back as well.

"I should get some rest, but uh, I'm still pretty sure that my room was destroyed" I was hesitant to ask.

"Can I, uh, stay with you for the night, Lenalee?" I asked, cheeks blushing red.

Her face went an even deeper shade of red before smiling, "Of course silly, why wouldn't I help a friend in need?" I got off of her as she opened the door again.

"Also" Lenalee started as she took off her closes, I merely stopped and stared.

"LENALEE I DIDN'T MEAN LIKE THAT!" I put my hands up defensively in front of my eyes.

"PERVERT! You're supposed to turn away when a lady undresses! It's no surprise that you're Cross's apprentice, that womaniser…" I could see the veins on the side of her head pop out from the corner of my eyes.

I had turned away of course, what kind of man do you take me for?

"I'm going for a shower. I feel like I need one after being next to Mr Oil" She said the last part with obvious disdain.

I continued looking away until I heard the water running in the shower.

I looked back and breathed a sigh of relief. "Lenalee, what were you trying to say?" I realised that she had been saying something right before she started stripping.

"Huh? Oh, right, also, you smell nice when you aren't covered in oil" She said.

"You think? Uh, thanks Lenalee" I said, cheeks turning pink.

I didn't know why I was embarrassed, or why my inside felt like butterflies, but I had a pretty good idea as to why.

I face palmed as I realised something, "Hey, Lenalee, where will I sleep?" Probably should have asked as soon as I could have.

I heard the water turn off and Lenalee's footsteps against the marble floor of her bathroom.

"It's okay; you can sleep on my bed. I can just take the floor" She said with a smile as she stepped out of the bathroom.

"Actually, I can just take the floor, you can take the bed. It's only courteous of a young gentleman such as me to do so" I said with a bow.

She smiled again, "Why, thank you, Lord Oil Sir" She said jokingly.

"That's SIR Lord Oil to you" I grinned at my own humour.

She sat down on the bed next to me, "Well, I don't have a second blanket or anything. You can take mine though-"Before I could interject she put her finger on lips, "-And no objections. At least let me do this, Adam" She said in ever so slight pleading voice.

I sighed, "Alright, but if you start acting like you're cold I'm snuggling up next to you whilst you're sleeping, got it?" I said with a mischievous smirk.

She blushed again and shied away from looking at me.

She passed me a pillow and a blanket, and I accepted them graciously.

I closed my eyes to the rhythmic thumping of Lenalee's heart; sounding like it was about to pop out of her chest.

I was asleep before I even realised it.

_White light burst into my vision, jerking my droopy eyes awake. "What? Where, am I?" I said out loud to myself._

_The room was deceptively larger than you might think, as my words echoed loud enough to wake the dead._

_I couldn't move. I was tied to a chair with chains. I tried invoking my Innocence, and it didn't do anything._

"_Silly, in this world, Innocence is useless" Said a voice from behind me._

_I tried to turn my head only to find it incapable of turning. I could only blink talk and swallow._

_The room was nothing but darkness in each direction, with the exception of the spotlight bearing down on me from above._

_The chair I was in was, familiar, but I couldn't place my finger on where I'd seen it before._

_The figure that had spoken walked in front of me._

"_You're in my world know, Adam. You have an interesting last name for an Exorcist" Rhode said._

_Rhode, wearing her trademark blouse dark blue hair and stripy socks, was standing with her face a few inches away from mine._

"_Now, Exorcist, you're going to tell me everything. Your ulterior motives, your past, anything and everything that I want to know, got it?" She said in sickeningly sweet tone._

"_Who are you?" I asked, pretending to be confused._

"_A better question would be what, wouldn't you agree?" She responded._

_A candle appeared out of nowhere, and suddenly I found myself strapped to a table._

"_What's your full name, just to start off simple" The candle was inches away from my face._

"_Okay then, how about we go in turns, I answer one, you answer one, agreed?" I said with a smirk._

_She frowned, "It's no fun when they smile the whole time. Wipe that grin off your face" She said in a strict tone._

"_I don't do requests" I said as I struggled to get one of my hands free._

"_Do you do pain then?" She smirked as the stabbed me in the hand with a candle._

_It was made of hot wax and really sharp, would you have done anything short of scream._

"_AHHHHHHHH!" I yelled at the top of my lungs._

"_Okay, answer my question. Full name!"_

"_My name, is Adam, Phoenix, Millennium. And yes, I know it's, an awkward name, for an, Exorcist" I struggled to say through the pain._

_She smiled happily, "Good. Okay~~, next question, when where you born?" I hesitated for a bit and she removed the candle, only to stab it in my wrist._

"_AHHHHH!" I shouted out._

"_I-I-I-I, was born, on the 4__th__ of July, 18XX" I barely managed to say. If she kept up like this I was going to lose consciousness. Huh, losing consciousness inside of a dream, Inception came to mind._

"_Okay, good~~ boy, now, where were you born?" She said with an evil grin._

"_Ch-chicago" I stuttered._

"_Where are your parents?"_

"_Oh, them? They're up there, you know, in Buffalo" I said jokingly._

"_Don't joke with me" She said coldly, stabbing me in the arm with the candle._

"_Where are your parents?"_

"_I didn't have parents. My family has a history of infertility you know, so my mother couldn't give birth to me sadly. I can't imagine a world without me" I said with a smirk._

_The candle twisted in my arm and I let out a blood curdling scream._

"_Where. Are. Your. Parents?" She said angrily._

"_Am the only one that feels like bacon? Or maybe Ham, yeah, something meaty sounds good right about now" I said, messing with her._

_A dozen other candles came out of nowhere and stabbed me all over. I couldn't stop screaming until my throat couldn't physically shriek anymore._

"_Okay, next question. What is your ulterior motive?"_

"_My what? Sorry. Me no speaka da engrish" I said in a fake Mexican accent._

_You could see the steam emanating from her ears._

"_DON'T MESS WITH ME!" She shouted as the candles repeatedly stabbed me over and over._

_I couldn't scream that time, nor could I move. I was paralysed with pain, and I could feel my organs shut down almost._

"_Why are you doing all this? Why did you join the Black Order? Why are you faking how strong you truly are? WHY!" She shouted angrily._

_I had an idea. A stupid one, but one that might work._

_Yo, Baron, you there?_

_**Yes yes, I'm here. What is it?**_

_So, I'm pinned to a table and Rhode Kamelot is torturing me. Help?_

_**She's what?**_

_Torturing me for information about why I'm faking my true strength and the like. My 'ulterior motive'._

_**Ah, I see. It figures the younger version of me would resort to such violent measures to extract information.**_

_Uh, help? It hurts. A lot._

_**I can't I'm afraid. I'm not awakened enough to use Dark Matter, just turn your –or rather, our- skin grey.**_

_Thanks, you're a real pal._

_**Anytime.**_

This was going to hurt.

I don't know just how long I spent there, being tortured by Rhode for. I just knew that when it finally stopped, I opened my eyes and found Lenalee on top of me.

"Uh, Lenalee?" I said.

She moved slightly but nothing much else. She was sleeping, _on top of me._ I don't think I need to explain just how odd that was.

Sunlight came into the room, was that just a dream?

_Not quite. I definitely remember it. That pain your endured would have broken just about any human. If it wasn't for the fact that you're a Noah then you would have given in undoubtedly._

Oh, great. Now I'm gonna have nightmares from that ordeal. That pain however wasn't reducing me to tears. I felt, okay about it, I guess. It must be true what they say about breaking a broken man; that you can't.

It made me feel afraid though that I could brush off being tortured for hours on end. What am I, really? Or what am I becoming?

Lenalee's eyes opened slowly, and then jerked awake as she saw where she was.

She scooted back across the floor, "S-sorry, about that. You just looked scared in your sleep, so I…" She trailed off as she looked away.

"I'm fine, Lenalee. Really. And you don't have to worry, I was actually thinking that I could get used to waking up next to you" I said with a sly grin.

She blushed red as a tomato and looked away, ashamed.

"I need to go check on Allen…" She whispered.

She got up when I realised something, she had taken off her Exorcist uniform and was wearing her Pyjama's.

"Uh, Lenalee, you're wearing P-"She closed the door before I could finish.

I sighed, dusted myself off before heading after her.

"Lenalee! Wait up!" She didn't stop; she must have been out of earshot.

I rushed after her before realising I had also forgotten my uniform. Face palming, I rushed back into the room to grab mine and while I was at it, take Lenalee's since she would need to change into it.

I picked up mine and Lenalee's clothes and headed for the public library. Allen must be either close to or is awake by now.

Opening the door I saw Lenalee run out as fast as she had gone it, knocking both of us over and mingling us in a pile of clothes.

"Mhhmhmhm" My face was muffled by something, I think it was her Exorcist uniform.

I tried to pry the Exorcist uniform off my head and instead was met with a hand slap.

"YOU PERVERT! STOP TRYING TO COP A FEEL!" Lenalee yelled at the top of her lungs.

"THAT WAS YOUR-? I HONEST TO GOD THOUGHT THAT WAS YOUR UNIFORM!" I managed to say through the muffling.

Then it clicked, if that was her {*} {*}, then that meant what was muffling my face was, _that_.

My face turned redder than a tomato, as I scrambled away, desperately trying to get out from under Lenalee.

"" My words became intelligible from just how fast I was speaking.

I looked up, and to my horror, saw Komui. He had seen the whole thing. I gulped, hopefully he wouldn't overreact. Hopefully.

* * *

**Author's notes: You'll have to wait until next time before Komui murders Allen. SRY.**

**I also liked the amount of near sexual contact this chapter. It made me laugh when writing this. I am so immature. :)**

**Vote people. Eventually, i'll have to remove one of the poll choices and then eventually i'll remove another one so that it comes down to just two choices.**

**Laterz, i'm out.**


	21. I'm sorry, Lenalee is a what now?

**D. Gray-man: The New Black World Order Chapter 22**

**Author's notes: 'Sup readers? Nothing to interesting going on in my life, sadly.**

**I just wanted to say, VOTE GOD DAMN YOU! And please review. Reviews let me know what i did right, and what i did _wrong._**

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-man. I may be locked up in Arkham Asylum pending execution for the murder a lot of Japanese people (Sadly, the excuse 'I said Glass of Juice not Gas the Japanese' didn't work) i will STILL own it someday. Maybe even from beyond.**

* * *

Komui's head was on FIRE. Literally, the steam emanating from his head had caught the bandages on fire.

I gulped; this wasn't going to end well. Not by a longshot. Komui increased his pace towards me and pulled out a freakin' MASSIVE power drill out of nowhere.

"HOW DARE YOU TOUCH MY DEAR SWEET LENALEEEEEEE!" He screamed out.

Lenalee stepped in-between me and him.

What? Was all I could think at the time.

"Brother, it was an accident. A mistake" She defended me.

"You're right Lenalee, he IS a mistake, an ACCIDENT!" Komui screamed out of sadistic joy as he started trying to skewer me with the power drill.

"WHOA WHOA WHOA! Let's not do anything else hasty now Komui" I tried to say reassuringly.

"BROTHE-"Lenalee didn't get to finish her sentence as she was stabbed by a needle that Komui conveniently had.

"WHY DO YOU HAVE A STOCK OF THOSE WITH YOU AT ALL TIMES!" I asked frantically.

"Surgery~, surgery~, when in doubt surgery~~" He said to himself.

THWACK! That sound was the sound of Komui's drill hitting the railing behind me, as I ducked underneath it.

"If you won't be civil-"Invoking my Innocence, I created a grapple hook (Complete with the ability to recede) and attacking one end to Komui. I had only ever seen Rico (Or was it Ricoe?) from Just Cause do this so I wasn't entirely sure of this was possible.

"-Then neither will I!" I said as I shot the other end of the grapple hook onto the elevator.

THNK! Was all the noise it made as it attached itself to the elevator.

I made a salute as it receded, dragging Komui along with it.

"WAAHHHHHHH!" Komui screamed as he was pulled over the edge.

His grip on the stone tightened, actually cracking the stone.

"I WON'T LET YOU TOUCH MY DEAR SWEET LENALEE! I WON"T LET YOUUUUUUU!" He hoisted himself back, actually pulling against the Innocence.

I sweat dropped nervously, he just would give up.

I snapped my fingers and put it on 100% pull. I watched silently as the stone broke away with Komui and attached him upside down the elevator.

"Just stay there for a while! 'Till you calm down" I shouted out to Komui.

He was fidgeting like a squirrel over in the distance but I didn't care. I sweat dropped, relieved as I picked up Lenalee and brought her into the Library as well.

Oh so conveniently, there happened to be a _second _couch right behind Allen where I could lay Lenalee down.

I did. Just as I did though, Komui stepped in through the door carrying an assortment of weapons that I'm, pretty sure where invented 'till the 1900's.

In one hand, he was carrying a Spas-12 shotgun, in the other, he was carrying an Ak47.

I sighed, and dodged as he unloaded massive amounts of bullets at me.

"EVERYONE GET DOWN!" I shouted as the entire science department simply fell over.

RATATATATATAT! BANG! BANG! BANG! Komui was firing both fo the weapons as fast as he could around the room./

"I WON'T LET YOU TOUCH ME DEAR SWEET LENALEE! NEVER! NEVEEEEEEEEEEEER!" He shouted the bullets tore apart the Library.

"HOW DID YOU ESCAPE?" I asked.

"THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT! WHAT IS IMPORTANT IS THAT YOU KEEP YOUR LECHEROUS HANDS OFF OF MY DEER SWEET LENALEEEEEEEE!" BANG! BANG! BANG! The shotgun was withering away what little cover I had. Crap, this wasn't good.

I slapped my forehead as I realised something.

I stood up and let the bullet simply shoot me to pieces, my body as bloody mess of broken limbs and destroyed tissue.

Or was it?

"Think you could get rid of me that easily?" I said with as a dark a tone as possible.

See, I was mind messin' with Komui. All he was seeing was my flame clone. I had gotten good at making the flames on the different parts of items different colours.

In short, I could make a fake corpse.

And as such, I made the corpse pull at Alucard as it magically pulled itself back together.

The entire science department's jaws dropped, "I didn't know he could do that. How CAN he do that?" One asked.

"I don't know but it's awesome!" Any answered.

"You mess with the bull" The guns, both of Alucards guns (Because why not?) fell into the clones hands from thin-air.

BANG BANG BANG BANG! PEW PEW PEW PEW! I fired four shots as did Komui using the Ray gun from Call of Duty.

The bullets collided in mid-air and cancelled each other out. The clone raised a hand, "Give it a moment. It's not a flawless replica, after all" It said with a smirk.

The bullet s reformed out of nowhere and they went straight for Komui, closer and close-

THUD! They collided into the metal chassis of a sheet of metal that Komui pulled from nowhere.

"Like Cross's Judgement" The bullets simply turned around and went _under _the sheet of metal, hitting Komui in the face. Non-lethal I can assure you.

"Those bullets don't stop until they hit their target. I've gotten pretty good at replicating others equipment" It said with a proud smirk.

I rose from the cover I was behind, disabling the flame cloak I had made (Like I said, I could make stuff one colour of another so I made my right look like the wall to the right of me and my left look like the wall to the left of me.

'It's an invisibility cloak, Harry!'

I shook my head as the thought came rushing past my mind.

"And the best part" I said as the real me stood up.

"Is that you got beaten by a clone of me" I said with a grin.

"Clone. Disperse" I ordered.

"Oh, can't I exist for just a little bit longer? I like being alive" It pouted.

"No buts. Disperse" I said with my hands on my hips.

"But I don't wanna" It said, acting childlike.

FALCON PUNCH! Making Adam Jensen's arms and then punching the clone's lights out, it dispersed as it hit the floor.

"That hurt slightly" I said as I shook my hands, letting the flames on my hands simply fade away.

I turned back towards Komui's unconscious figure to find out that he was gone.

"Where did he-?" My question was answered before I even finished my sentence.

"SIR KOMRIN THE THIRD, DESTROY ADAM PHOENIX MILLENNIUM!" Komui shouted from the back of the giant ominous robot.

"You've got to be kidding me. WHEN DID HE EVEN BUILD THAT?" I shouted out of frustration.

Conjuring up Alucard's guns again, I stood fast as the robots head poked through the door and nearly demolished it.

"The bigger they are" I ran at and leapt onto its head.

"The harder they FALL" BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG! I fired all the bullets in the clips of the guns and a jumped back onto the ground, slightly skidding.

I had put a dent in it, but no more. "Damn" I whispered to myself.

The Casull and The Jackal, both of them only put a dent in that thing? Well, whatever that thing is made of, it's exceedingly strong. Then I internally face palmed.

Duh, just use all my power.

THWACK! One of the legs of Komrin came down and tried to hit me, only to be blocked by the handguns.

"Was gonna throw these away anyway" I mumbled to myself.

"He blocked Komrin's attack!" One scientist said.

"He must really be strong!" Another said.

"But isn't he only a rookie?"

"I heard that he has a 91% synch rate!"

"That would explain his strength"

The talking broke me out of my trance as the hit actually started pushing me into the ground.

CRACK! CRUMBLE! The ground underneath me was giving way.

SLICE! I turned the handguns into swords; most for the hell of it both of them looked like what Excalibur is supposedly said to look like.

Anyway, I cut through the arm as it made a extremely loud THUD! As it collided with the ground, slipping off the edge and into the abyss of the central part of the building, I leapt onto Komrin's arm, and ran up his arm Kratos style.

SLICE SLICE SLICE SLICE! I cut up Komrin's arm as it tried to swat me off.

I held my blade steadfast at the gigantic hand that came right at me; I waited for the right moment, NOW! SLICE! I cut through the arm and it simply fell to the ground.

I continued to run up Komrin's arm, meanwhile thinking 'Just do what Kratos does. Just do what Kratos does'.

Like I could remember. So I opted for what anyone else would have.

I a jumped in the air as a gigantic sword appeared from nowhere and started descending towards Komrin's head. I fell to the ground just as the sword did for dramatic effect.

"OFF WITH YOU HEAD!" I shouted mockingly as the blade went straight through Komrin and beheaded the robot.

Komui went white as a sheep, "You-you-you killed. YOU KILLED MY BABY!" Komui started crying, I wasn't paying attention at all. What I was paying attention to was the countdown on the robots head.

"What is that?" I said, pointing towards the head that was falling towards Hevlaska's chambers.

Komui moved further away from me, already he was pretty far.

"It's the self-destruct countdown. It'll blow up when it finishes counting dow-"I tackled Komui as the explosion went off.

BOOOOOOOOOOM! All the windows in the place instantly shattered, my ears hurt, no, they were also ringing. Nothing could be heard, nothing could be felt. My body felt extremely numb. And what was worse was the fact that Komrin's body was no slipping towards the central abyss of the building.

But I couldn't get Komui off of Komrin in time, nor could I get myself off of it in time.

Crap, crap, crap, Baron! Just remembered, do you have anything that could help me? Please?

_You know, you always seem to want something from me now a days. You never have a friendly chat with me like you should._

I'll remember to do that if I'm alive after this is over. Help?

He sighed, _since you're still stunned from the explosion, I could take over your body for you and get Komui and you off of the robot._

The robot tittered even further off the edge, Komui I'm pretty sure was unconscious or sleeping. Somehow.

Do it.

_As you wish._

Suddenly, my fingers twitched without me willing them to. Then my legs moved of their own accord. After that, my arms picked up Komui and half carried half dragged him off of the robot. But it wasn't fast enough.

I looked to my left as the robot finally gave way and started falling over the edge.

Normally, I would have pretended to scream in this instance since my persona would have, but the Baron didn't say a thing as he ran with unbelievable speed up the chassis of Komrin and to the ground.

He leapt and landed, Komui on back, as the robot reached the bottom of the floor and exploded.

He stood up straight, BOOOOOOOOOOOM!

The explosion knocked over everyone besides him, as he was standing proud.

_I presume that you probably want control of your body back now. But can I please just walk on my own two legs for a while? Please?_

Nope. You don't know how to act, Baron. If I let you walk around, then they'd sense something wrong near instantly.

_Aw~~, is my acting that bad?_

The next time I see you try and impersonate Samuel L Jackson, I will personally accidently shoot you. Got it?

_You're no fun._

And at that I could feel my limbs again.

I relaxed a little and let Komui down, as I fell over shortly afterwards.

It took a lot out of me to make that giant Great-sword thing. The larger an object is, the more energy it consumes to make, you see.

The more intricate it was the more energy it took to make as well. Not to mention maintain.

I could make, say, conjure up a 10 story building and it would consume the same amount of energy it would take to make a dozen M16's, ya dig?

Black rings came around my eyes and I blacked out to the sound of my stomach growling even more ferociously than before.

_**Later on, at the infirmary…**_

I woke up with a start as I remembered what happened. Breathing a sigh of relief that I had bested the giant robot, I relaxed.

I heard a very familiar sounding moan to my right.

I turned to my right like it would kill me if I did, and saw Komui in a full body cast. How he ended up needing that I don't know.

Something warm went down my face. Yep, that's blood.

I touched my forehead and froze, noticing the bandages on it. I had an uncomfortable inkling about what the bandages covered on my forehead.

Swallowing uncomfortably, I looked way and got out of bed, my stomach grumbling as I went.

I'm going to feed you, so just shut up.

_Who are you talking to?_

My stomach.

…

I didn't hurt at all, but I could feel something poking out of the bandages.

Lowe and behold there was shrapnel coming out of sides. Or rather, being _forced _out of my sides.

My body was actually _removing _the shrapnel on my right side on its own.

I ripped off the bandages and froze. My entire torso was covered in blood. And yet, I was still perfectly fine. It didn't hurt.

Taking off the bandages, removing the last pieces of the shrapnel that were jutting out of me and then eventually putting on my Exorcist coat (Which was conveniently draped over the chair beside my bed), I went through the door of the infirmary.

Only to bump into someone and –yet again- end up in a suggestive position on top of said person.

"Ah! Lenalee! You scared me!" I said.

"Adam! You're alive!"

I froze at that. "Why wouldn't I be alive, Lenalee?" I asked robotically.

"Well, the doctors said that some of the shrapnel punctured your internal organs and were killing you. You weren't supposed to even wake up until you died for crying out loud! And yet, here you are, plain as day. Alive" I could hear her gulp at the last word.

"What's poking against my leg?" I could hear her say in a half angry half annoyed voice.

"Uh, shrapnel" I said as I felt the general area.

"Yep, shrapnel" I said as I pulled the 9 inch piece of steel out of my thigh.

I examined it and instantly saw Lenalee's face twist in shock and horror.

She put her hand on her mouth, "What's wrong? Lenalee? Lenalee?" I shook her but got no response.

She continued to glare at the metal shrapnel, even as I threw it out of sight and out of mind.

"It's, it's so big" She said, slightly shaky.

I laughed out loud at that, "That's" I tried to get a grip on my laughter.

"That's what she said" I managed to say before bursting into laughter again.

I was violently pushed off of a red as a tomato Lenalee whom quickly scrambled to get to her feet.

"You know, for some reason you end up underneath me quite a lot. If I didn't know any better I'd say that you do it on purpose" I said with a laugh.

Normally, I would have expected Lenalee to just laugh it off with me. Or even hit me. Instead she somehow blushed an even deeper shade of red at my comment.

I was taken aback, so she _did _do that on purpose. I nervously looked away. Ooookay. I officially feel bad right now.

"What are the bandages on your head for?" She asked. She had a knowing look in her eye. I was slightly unnerved by that.

"These? I'm not too sure. Maybe shrapnel just passed by my head and scratched it? Dunno" I said with a shrug.

"Can I see?" She asked. There was a pleading look in her eyes, like if she didn't see it that it would end the world.

"Uh, sure" I said unsure of why she wanted to see.

I unravelled the bandages on my forehead, the tension was killing me, but most definitely it was affecting her. That much I could tell.

I added, "Maybe it might be a good idea to go somewhere more private before I-" I was pulled back violently by an unknown force.

"AND JUST WHY ARE YOU OUT OF BED YOUNG MAN?" A scary looking old woman said.

"GAH! WHO ARE YOU?" I asked.

"The head nurse of the Infirmary. Now I'd suggest that yo-"

"Actually, 'Head nurse', I feel fine. All the shrapnel and wounds have healed on their own. The shrapnel even pulled itself out of me. Really" I said.

The head nurse looked at me doubtfully, "Oh really? I'll put you through an X-ray exam just to be sure"

I turned back towards Lenalee and sighed, "Sorry Lenalee, I guess I'll have to talk to you at a later date" I waved and she returned the gesture right before the door closed behind me.

_At the examination room…_

"And just step in front of the machine now Adam" The head nurse said.

It was a plain white room, tiled, but very plainly so.

It had definitely been cleaned regularly, that's for sure. The room was spotless.

I stepped in front of the screen thingy and waited.

"Hm, I see, this is, disturbing. You aren't showing up on the screen" She said, gripping her chin.

I snorted, "That's strangely not a first"

"Why is that?"

"I didn't show up on X-ray at the front gate as well" I replied simply.

"I see. Well, we have no way to tell about whether or not to see if you have metal in your short of running a metal detector over your skin" She said plainly.

"I'm pretty sure that we don't have a metal detector anymore though" She paused briefly, but right before I was about to ask why they didn't have one anymore she said "Don't ask. Komui was involved"

I gulped, "Good to know"

I put my coat back on and left, but the nurse stopped me, "Where do you think you're going?"

But the clone of me that I had made because I thought this would happen kept her busy, I snuck out.

I knew that given her apparent attitude that she would have kept me there, so I effectively dodged her grasp (To put it in words) and am now walking to where I suspect Lenalee is.

I knocked on Lenalee's door; she answered it within seconds "Adam?" She asked.

"No I'm actually just an Akuma wearing Adam's skin. Do I look good?" I said jokingly.

She smacked me on the head, "Don't, just don't" I could see the pain in her eyes and I immediately felt guilt run down my spine and into my gut.

"I'm sorry" I said with a genuine smile.

She opened the door for me and I stepped inside and sat down on the bed.

"So, uh, Adam, why did you come here?" She said nervously.

"I came because I wanted to see your beautiful face" I paused to see her reaction and saw her turn away, blushing like a tomato.

"And because I wanted to know if you still wanted me to take off these bandages" I said gesturing to my forehead.

"Oh. That" She said, crossing her legs slightly and playing with one of her pig tails.

She paused, "Um, you can take the bandages off now if you want" She said, shying away from eye contact.

I unwrapped my forehead bandage.

A couple of things happened.

First, Lenalee gasped as she saw my forehead, along with widening her eyes.

Second, I felt the marks on my forehead, and then widened my eyes and became speechless. They were Stigmata, without a doubt.

Third, Lenalee broke the seemingly indestructible silence by saying "I, I kind of have something to show you to"

Fourth, she played with one of her pig tails and closed her eyes.

Fifth, her skin turned Ash gray and her forehead became lined with Stigmata.

Finally, I stared in shock at the now Noah Lenalee.

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**Author's notes: LENALEE IS A NOAH! WHAAAAAAAAT!**

**I know right? I originally wanted the plot point to be revealed the previous chapter, but now that it's out there, what will happen?**

**I am going to pretty much F**K the BRAINS out of the original plot with added plot twists, character growth, etc etc. This is one of them.**

**To let you guys know, Noah Lenalee was one of my very first drafts for this story. Adam was originally a standard character from the time that fell in love with Lenalee, then discovered she was a Noah. What happens? Well, they end up killing each other as a battle ensues. He's an Exorcist, she's a Noah, FYI.**

**That however passed as i realised that with this scenario nothing TOO interesting would happen. So i went with time traveller Adam instead. And now i have THIS story to call my own. :)**

**Review rate subscribe plox.**

**Laterz, i'm out.**


	22. He still hasn't hit that yet? COME ON!

**D. Gray-man: The New Black World Order Chapter 23**

**Author's notes: Some more AdamXLenalee relationship building here. I promise that the next chapter will continue on the plot of the main story. But do keep in mind that this is my story, and if you don't like Adlee then you can shove it.**

**Review rate subscribe ETC ETC.**

**Sorry that this is a really short one again. It goes over two thousand words, but barely, so sorry. :(**

**Unfortunately, since tomorrow is school i will only have the afternoon to work on it, instead of all day like this one. Okay i made have made this in the space of 4 hours but sue me.**

**Disclaimer: Why do i even have to say that this is fanfiction and not my story?**

* * *

I wasn't sure how long I sat there, mouth wide open, glaring at Lenalee. The next thing I felt though was Lenalee shaking me and asking if I was alright.

Of course I wasn't alright! YOU'RE A FUCKING NOAH!

But instead I replied meekly, "Y-yeah, just peachy"

"Whew. You scared me for a second there Adam" Lenalee said with a smile. Smiling with the stigmata lining her head and ah gray skin complimenting her features.

I felt mortified, angry, sad, bewildered and somewhat stupid for not noticing it. The dark aura around her earlier should have given her up. Albeit it wasn't like any Noah I felt, it might have been just the Innocence I sense messing with it.

Like how someone might spray cheddar cheese on top of the smell of apple cider and make something unrecognisable to the ordinary nose.

She sat down next to me, "I'm kind of glad that I'm not the only one, Adam. I don't know what this is, but it used to make me feel like a freak, so I never showed it to anyone, besides you, of course" She said with smile.

She hugged my arm, "I'm not alone anymore" I could feel choked sobs flow right out of her. She gripped my arm tighter.

I didn't even know when to begin, and my mind refused to stop spinning the gears that made me think. She felt sad all this time, and I never caught onto the hints. The clues. Deduce, guess! Think outside the box!

Instead, I felt guilty for her actually being this sad and me not noticing. There is _always _some kind of clue. If you don't find it, then you just are looking hard enough.

But I could afford to belittle myself at a time like this. Some other time, I can think over what's happened and what I have to brace myself for, but for now, I need to be steadfast and never give way.

I put my arms around her as crying increased exponentially. I needed to act, needed to pretend, needed to fake it to make it. I NEEDED to lie. Strangely, lying fit like a glove. But was no surprise to me, as I was the thief. And I had stolen what I shouldn't have; Lenalee's compassion.

I was going to murder my best friend, and most likely others in the Order for me to succeed as they would stand against me, for my brother, whom hated me at this point, to save people that I would sooner destroy by my own hands than rescue.

I chose this path, the path of an Exorcist. But did this path of an Exorcist really have to be this hard, or was it that it wasn't the path of an Exorcist, but of something in-between human Noah and Exorcist?

So many things to ponder, so little time, I mentally sighed. I was really looking forward to the time in which I could think clearly for once. Lenalee stopped crying just about the same time as I stopped the gears in my head from turning.

"Lenalee, I, I don't know what to say. Why didn't you tell me that you were so lonely on the inside?" I said, sounding like a concerned friend _because I was._

She turned away, "I just thought that you would think badly of me. I haven't even told Komui about it, I felt so ashamed" I could definitely tell she felt regret about not feeling Komui.

Good, good. She hadn't told anyone. Now to just properly damage control the problem.

"Lenalee, I don't even know what this, this, stigmata, or gray skin is, do you know?" I needed to see how much she knew.

She sniffled before answering, "Not much. I know that this, condition makes me stronger and faster. But I don't even know what caused it"

I brushed the hair that fallen into her face. She looked so depressing when she was sad, and yet so heavenly when she was happy.

"Lenalee, I don't know anything really either. Whatever it is, it's mortifying to see you this way none the less, promise me that you'll tell me when you're having problems. Promise me" I said with a concerned voice.

I needed to know when the changes (Such as the Noah memories and Dark Matter abilities) came into play. And, because I did indeed care for her.

It made me feel evil and cruel, but acting like I cared when I did and having to lie when I so desperately wanted to tell the painful truth was the only way out.

"I promise, Adam. I will tell you the truth and my problems from now on, but, can you also promise me the same?" She pleaded. I felt heart wrenched as I said the next part.

I embraced her, "I promise that I will never lie to you, Lenalee, and that I will tell you whatever is troubling me. Always" I smiled with my best impression of warmth and it seemed to work as she tightened her own embrace.

I moved out of the embrace and looked into Lenalee's eyes. "Lenalee, I promise you that we will find out just what this is. I only ask that you please refrain from telling anyone about this, okay?" I said with a false smile.

She smiled back, and my spirits instantly uplifted, "Okay" Was her simple response.

I kissed her on the forehead and held her tight, fearing that if I didn't, I would shatter into a million pieces. Already, I broke my promise. I couldn't tell her that I felt guilty about lying, and I couldn't tell her that I was lying in the first place.

I was officially, completely and utterly, SCREWED.

I sighed, "Lenalee, I think that we should get to Komui's office now, he said we had a mission to do, so dry your tears, we can have a heart to heart after the mission, sound good?" I made my best happy face and smiled, hoping that she would feel better from it.

"But, Adam, the marks on your forehead-" I stopped her.

"Bandages solve everything" I said with a smirk.

"Speaking of which, do you have bandages?" I asked.

She nodded. She led me into her bathroom where she opened the cabinet behind the mirror. It was adorned with an assortment of items, ranging from medicine for burns to medicine for diseases I didn't even know existed.

"Komui gave all this medicine for me, just in case" She explained, I nodded. It made sense. I noticed Komui's compassion towards Lenalee.

Plus, he was her brother, so who would blame him for it?

She applied fresh bandages to my forehead gingerly, and even then it hurt. To be frank, it was creepy beyond belief as to why this was happening. Normally the stigmata wouldn't come out unless the Baron made it so.

Wait a second.

BARON! WAKE UP!

_Yes, what is it? I was sleeping you know._

Precisely why I yelled. Did you make the stigmata appear on my forehead without telling me?

…_The stigmata appeared of its own accord?_

Ye-wait, are you saying that you didn't do it?

_That's, exactly what I'm saying. If the stigmata appeared on its own, then soon your skin will turn ash grey on its own as well. After that, you're Dark Matter abilities will activate. You'll become a full-fledged Noah. Even then though, you will have barely even scratched the surface of your potential. Your power will grow stronger and stronger as time goes on. As my power is, 'unleashed', that is._

_When you become a full-fledged Noah, you'll be able to activate your Noah skin on your own, without me doing it for you. They grow up so fast~~._

If I'm your supposed son, then you must be Old enough to have had me.

_Who you callin' old, child?_

Who you callin' a child, Old man?

_Who you callin' old, boy?_

Right. Well, that's, comforting. Sort of. I'm losing my humanity just as fast I feel like I'm losing my sanity/humanity. How, funny.

_You certainly are thinking of it better than most, would I dare say. How can you, really?_

Simply put? Laughing is easier than crying.

I ended the conversation thingy as soon as I finished speaking, or thinking. Whatever you call it. No need to go on a long winded spiel about my life and how it sucks.

"Annnnd done~" Lenalee sang.

Ah! My bandages, forgot about those. Lenalee and I were sitting on the bathroom floor, on a towel so that I didn't bleed everywhere. In case it started bleeding.

I lightly touched my forehead, okay, now came the problem of how to explain it. I had been injured in the fight with Komrin, but then I froze.

Did these stigmata appear when I was being cared for? I had no other marks besides the stigmata when I took off the bandages. But then again, it's not like I would. If I had healed as fast as I did last time, a single days rest could have healed the mark. Then, the stigmata came out after that.

It was a slim chance, but I hoped to god that it was what happened.

"Adam, what about your leg?" Lenalee asked/

"My leg?" I repeated. Then I mentally face-palmed, I had pulled a 9-inch piece of shrapnel out of my leg. Of course she would ask about it.

"Oh? That? I had genuinely forgotten about it. It doesn't even hurt anymore" I said frankly.

Lenalee gave me a disbelieving look before I said "Lenalee, I just promised you that I wouldn't lie to you. Why would I break it so soon?" I said.

She looked away, ashamed of not believing in me. "You're, you're right. I'm sorry for not believing you, Adam"

"Don't be. Everyone has flaws Lenalee, except you. Your perfect the way you are" I said with a smile.

She blushed pink and turned away, embarrassed.

"What? Don't be so modest Lenalee, I think I'd rather see you think highly of yourself then think lowly of yourself. You deserve it" I put my hand on her arm, and shot her an affectionate smile.

"You really know what to say to a girl, Adam" She said shakily as she stood up.

"I'm glad that we agree I'm awesome" I said with a laugh. She giggled as I stood up.

I sighed, "Alright, poker face. We need to go to Komui's office, and if her see's us like this he'll try to kill me. Again" I said, pretending to shiver thinking about Komui's wrath.

I saw Lenalee stare at me and blush, she looked down at the floor. I followed her previous gaze and saw that I had unconsciously held her hand.

"Sorry 'bout that. But I don't think I'd mind, walking hand in hand with you" I smiled.

Lenalee returned the gesture (Blushing a bright red too) before turning back into her 'white' form. I had forgotten she was in her 'black' state really. I was too busy staring at her eyes. Stop giving me that look; I'm not one for sappy romance stuff either.

Just as I was about to step out of the room, I turned and asked Lenalee something that I just realised I should ask.

"How long was I in the infirmary?" I asked.

Lenalee froze at the question, "Oh, 2 days"

I breathed a sigh of relief; I thought that since there was shrapnel in me that it had taken longer.

My conversation with Allen about being a monster came to mind, and my face was overrun with doubt.

'_I know. It's just that I don't think of myself as entirely human, either'._

"What's wrong?" Lenalee asked. She was worried for me. It was nice for a change to have someone care about me back. George (My master) was always stoic. Complimenting me only if I did good and scolding me for doing bad. I fail, I got hit. I succeed, I got a cookie.

Man, I could go for one of his cookies right now. The thought made my stomach rumble uncontrollably.

Lenalee chuckled, "You should eat first. Parasite types need to eat much more than normal people do. Don't worry, I'll just wait in my room" She said with a smile.

I nodded, but before I could walk to the cafeteria I heard Lenalee say "You still haven't answered my question, Adam. What's wrong?" It came off as cold and angry, but I knew she meant well.

I sighed and stopped, "It's just… due to my healing ability, I don't think of myself as entirely human. More along the lines of a monster in fact" I said calmly and resumed my walking speed.

"Adam! Why would you even think that?" I could hear the crackling in her voice. She either had residual crying left to do or she really did feel for me.

I turned on my heel and walked towards Lenalee, I stopped when I was right in front of her, "Lenalee. You don't need to cry for me, or be sad for me, I'm fine. I really am. I'm content with who I am" I put my hand on her shoulder reassuringly.

She sniffled as she looked at me, "I just didn't think that you thought if yourself as such. You aren't a monster Adam. I've seen enough monsters to know what they are" She added the last part darkly.

I patted her on the head, "Its okay Lenalee, also-" My stomach interrupted me before I could go on, "-I was going to say that I'm still hungry, but never mind. I'll see you as soon as I can" I waved as I walked away, and saw Lenalee wave back before heading inside of her room.

_After lunch was served to a starving Adam, on his way back…_

I was walking back when I heard a muffled sob from Lenalee's room, instinctively I ran to her room and threw open the door.

I discovered Lenalee on her bed with the covers over her head balling her eyes out.

I nudged her gently, "Lenalee? Why are you crying?" I asked softly.

The covers of her bed tightened around her, and I heard her barely reply "It's nothing, Adam"

"It doesn't sound like nothing" I said, slightly irritated.

"It just is. Just, please, drop it"

"Lenalee, I ask because I care" I said with a small amount of authority.

The covers tensed as she tightened them around her further, but then relaxed slightly.

Lenalee explained her past. Why it was that Komui was her only living family. Why she had known monsters before she met Adam. Why she doesn't want me to be sad.

"Adam, you're my friend, and my friends make up my world. It sounds selfish, doesn't it? That I fight not for the world, but for my friends. And if just one part of that world is destroyed, you being depressed I mean, it destroys my world" She finished explaining.

I gently stroked the covers where her arm was, "I see. I'm glad that you see me as a friend, Lenalee. But I don't want to burden you with my problems nor do I want you to be sad when I'm sad. I just want you to be happy, at all costs" I smiled at her.

She poked her head out from under the covers, and smiled back at me, but then looked away. "I'm glad that you're my friend too, Adam"

"Lenalee, you won't look at me. What's wrong?" I asked, sounding sincere.

She looked me in the eyes, "Adam, I, I" She looked away again.

"I'll tell you later" I didn't bother asking again. I knew that it would have just angered her.

I double tapped on her leg, "Well, come on now. We shouldn't keep Komui waiting any longer now, should we?"

* * *

**Author's notes: What was Lenalee going to ask Adam? What do you think? Type in a review what you think Lenalee was going to say to Adam!**

**I really think this chapter was a drag, cute, but a drag. Listen people, if you don't vote soon then what you want to happen will not happen.**

**Kissing before final battle and they used to date are still at the top with two votes! SO VOTE YOU SOBS!**

**If you guys don't vote for any of them by the end, i'll just remove the poll and go with Adlee all the way into Lemon territory. I'm dead serious.**

**Then, it'll resume the 'how should it go' until the final chapter of the Rewinding Town arc. After that, i'll give you guys a whole WEEK to vote on the poll before it gets closed and the winner gets decided. If it ties, then Adlee Lemon will come along SOMEWHERE in the story. I'll just have to set it up so that you guys don't expect it 'till that start getting freaky.**

**During said week i'll be working on an idea that i had randomly one day about what if i was a girl and in Soul Eater. I've now turned it into a story, OH YEAH.**


	23. TROLLFACE

**HOW THE INTERNET IS POWERED: BY DR34D "Da Bawss" NOISE**

You know, I secretly bet that the children aren't abducted so much as they are taken as fuel for the internet.

Me thinks that Bill Gates secretly powers the internet with not only the souls of the Korean immigrant children but with the children that are abducted each year.

Oh yeah, I'm talkin' for REALZ here. I think that Bill Gates secretly has a giant cage underneath his house that he uses to keep children captive and power the internet by Tron-ifying them into virtual energy. Then, he uploads the virtual energy to a factory in Minecraft in which he converts their souls into EMC therefore giving him DIAMONDZ for DAYZ and make him a virtually rich man. Then me thinks that he destroys all evidence of the computers existence to protect it from the Russian KGB (Not to be confused with the Russian KFC, a cheap knock off of pure Italian chicken that are harvested from the chicken mines) 'cuz we all know that they are actually in with the whole abduction thing and have secretly taken money out of Bill Gates pocket for years. Then, he takes the USB that he uploaded the files onto the then fuses the USB to his forehead so that he can mind meld with computers. Using the information that he took from Sarah Palin ('Cuz she's a Red Spy) he virtually uploads his conscious to the internet to meet Morgan Freeman, as he is actually a MACHINE, then talks with him about directions to the core of the internet (He always forgets hence why he created Morgan Freeman; to be his travel guide) and goes there. ONLY TO GET ATTACKED BY NINAJS EVERY TIME. He fights the ninja's with 1998 Microsoft discs that he uses as Shuriken ('Have a taste of 1998 processing power ninja SCUM) and decapitates them instantly and all 'cuz he secretly learned that from Anakin Skywalker since he is actually a cross-dimension travelling Wizard. With 1337 5k1ll5. He then hacks the mainframe of reality and right before he's done Master Chief and Willy Wonka come out of nowhere and bitch slap him and talk like 1930's gangsta's at the same time. They shout "TIME FOR THE FAMOUS BILL GATES TO GET" Master Chief pauses dramatically as Willy Wonka puts on sunglasses, "GATTED!" (Pronounced Gate-ed). Bill Gates fly's into the air ninja flipping and knocks Willy Wonka unconscious instantly. Master Chief starts shouting Duke Nukem one-liners with Bill Gates as they fight using Window's Keyboards the functioned as Katana's, and right as Master Chief is about to win Bill Gates turn into a race car and runs over that motherf*cker Master Chief. He kicks his limp body in the nuts and instantly a giant CARNIFEX appears from nowhere and shoots guns bullets of biomass at him which he easily dodges them and cuts it in half Kanda-style (As in the way he beat the giant Akuma in the Anime in Edo, Japan). It explodes into miniature children-zombies from Dead Space 2 and attempts to maul Bill Gates as he types in the last few keys. Right as he finishes and smashes his forehead into the USB socket the zombie-children start dancing to the beat of Party Rock Anthem and Bill Gates goes WTF but that was just a distraction to make him turn away as a Angry Marine face tries to eat Bill only to get ninja kicked in the face. The zombie-children stop dancing and attempt to bit his legs off only for to reveal that his legs are Auto-mail and Karate chop them repeatedly until their heads explode into giant computer parts. THEY WERE ONLY ROBOTS! But it didn't matter to Bill Gates because he uploads the dat at last but just before it finishes uploading, that rat bastard BRAINIAC interrupts the download and attempts to possess Bill until Bill activates his self-destruct sequence and explodes.

Bill Gates walks away unscathed from his missing head-ness and picks up the USB and uploads it again. ONLY FOR SASHA GREY TO APPEAR WIELDING NUN-CHUCKS WITH AN ARMY OF AKUMA BEHIND HER! Bill Gates just laughs and says "YOU JUST ASTIVATED MY TRAPCARD" 'cuz Bill Gates knew that they were coming and had layed down giant BOMBZ made of Windows PC's (They make excellent shrapnel - Bill) strapped with C4. They went KABOOM as Bill pressed the detonator and went OMFGAPGJHWIHGIH as all the pretty colours appeared along with a a double rainbow. Right as he typed the final key to save the internet from Sasha Grey's obvious plan to destroy it the nuclear core of the internet went into Meltdown from lack of power and Bill Gates got scarred. His legs gave under and he started crying right before Korn showed up and told him to "SHUT THE FUCK UP GET UP" and Bill Gates did and pressed the last key on the keyboard and stopped the meltdown and SAVED TEH INTERNETZ. Giant parades were thrown in Bill gates honour only for him to nearly get assassinated by Suzaku in his Zero outfit and kicked him in the nuts. Suzaku fell over writhing in pain as Bill Gates picked up his Buster's sword and neatly cut off Suzaku's hear and turned it into a toupee for his assistant who said he wanted some hair to cover up his baldness. The assistant thanked Bill Gates right as he ripped off his own head to reveal that he was actually JESUS and because Bill helped him Jesus promised to power the internet for him. Only just then JESUS was shot in the head by a Skirmisher Sniper from Halo with a Needle Rifle. Bill Gates, in a rage unlocked the 9-tailed fox demon spirit and attacked the sniper with a giant pall of AWESOMENESS. The sniper fell over and started convulsing at the sight of it and Bill gates shrugged it off only for the sniper to get back up and SHOOT HIM IN THE HEAD and Bill Gates fell down, dead.

Jesus, having newly resurrected blew up the sniper along with the building it was on revived Bill gates right as Jesus made a car appear out of nowhere because the KGB must have been on their trail if they had sent their top assassin to kill Bill gates. Jesus created a giant Hummer and put Bill Gates in it onyl for Bill Gates to say "JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL" and Jesus nodded and did. ALEINZ attacked a predator drone that Bill gates had control of 'cuz he secretly owned the whole world destroyed the green thingy. Onyl for the green thigny to try and murder Bill but Jesus wouldn't let him! Jesus jumped in front of space gun and wrapped himself around it, blowing up both him and Alien. Bill Gates got really really really angry at Jesus's death and stuff only for Mecha Sasha Grey to appear and challenge him to a lightsaber duel. They fought and Bill Gates cut off Sasha Grey's arms and legs right as they fought when suddenly Darth Vader appeared from behind Sasha Grey and started cutting off her limbs. Bill Gates stopped him from doign it 'cuz Sasha Grey was actually a doube agent working for him and punched Darth Vader in the face and destroyed the entire solar system in one almighty falcon punch. Bill Gates survived the destruction of Earth and was sad 'cuz now he had no one to talk to when all of a sudden JESUS appeared from nowhere and recreated the universe and gave Bill Gates the power's of God 'cuz Jesus it awesome like that and all of a sudden the KGB and the CIA were fighting over who could ask Bill Gates for his autograph 'cuz he was so cool. When suddenly a giant meteor struck the battlfield of Los Angelos and the black thingy from Spider-man merged with Jesus forcing him into being a villain because Jesus didn't want to hurt his only friend Bill Gates.

"NO!" Bill Gates cried out as Jesus turned into the anti-christ and starting singing satanic music (Dragula by Rob Zombie) and was murdering all the children. "NO NOT THE CHILDREN! I NEED THEM TO POWER THE INTERNET!" Bill Gate shout. Jesus cut off their heads with the whip from Castlevania and all of a sudden Hulk Hogan teleported in front of Jesus and beat him up using professional wrestling moves. Jesus was down for the count when suddenly MOSES came out of nowhere and made a giant boat 'cuz they needed to escape the ZOMBIE ALIENZ THAT WERE ATTTACKING. Bill Gates found a PC on board of the ark and uploaded internetz power.

**LA FIN**


	24. SUCK IT WOLVERINE

_**D. Gray-man: The New Black World Order: Chapter 24**_

**Author's notes: Super duper sorry with sprinkles on top I am for not giving you the guys the next chapter once every two days! I can't even remember the last time I updated this story! SO SORRY GUYS! DON'T HATE ME!**

**Anyways, with that off my chest, I still have not gotten to the conclusion of just how to explain the entire plot yet, I realised that coming to a decision was going to take a while and I decided to just wait when it came to it. IE, the chapters that will hold important information will be the chapters that you will have to wait the longest for.**

**I just want to thank the person that voted for the 'awkward dating scene' so that now I can write the filler "Allen Versus Adam In A Dating Contest" Chapter. YAY! As Rhode would say. I have an idea for when to write it, so, yeah.**

**I want to give credit to those that have favourited the story; all four of you. Those that are following this story; all five of you. And all nine of you that reviewed. It's people like you that make writing these so much better. *Sniff***

**I also want to give a shoutout to StellaRose-chan, just 'cuz I'm a nice guy and say go read Stella's stories! Innocent Heart is already a pretty decent story, and now it's undergoing revision so that it can be even better! YAY! Plus, for everyone that likes Noah characters, Stella's character is a Noah; she just hasn't awakened yet. :( I always a fan of Noah character stories though, so I'll still read it regardless! 'Cuz it's actually pretty good! YAY! *Cough cough* Ah, my throat is hoarse from all this yelling. God damn.**

**And finally, thanks to xXChibiVampire101Xx for following Witchez be CRAZY after just the first chapter, and for DeathofReality for favouriting it after just the first chapter! Really, it was just one chapter and yet you instantly did that! THANK Y'ALL!**

**On with the story...**

* * *

_**MEANWHILE (That fucking word. I swear, I AM GOING TO VIOLATE THAT WORD'S MOTHER), in a un-disclosed location (Actually, if you paid enough attention to the manga then you'd now where this takes place. Sadly, the author of said story is retarded) WHO YOU CALLIN' RETARDED FOO? Anyways, on with the story… (See what I mean?) STOP HALTING THE STORY! (I could say the same to you…) FUCK YOURSELF. RIGHT NOW. (I could say the same to YO MOMMA)You know what? I'm going to be the responsible one and simply say FUCK YOURSELF and let's get on with the story… for realz this time… (Don't sound too responsible to me…) SHUT UP!**_

A long egg against the darkness was assaulted by a spoon, and part of it was taken away and eaten by a rather imposing cop lady.

The substance was swished around in her mouth before it simply dripped out of her mouth. "It isn't sweet…"

The female cop turned around and looked straight at the Akuma maid, right before she punched the face off (Literally) of the Akuma.

"YOU PIECE OF CRAP!" She shouted angrily as she started to unleash her fists into the Akuma maid.

"YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF CRAP! YOU MORON! YOU WERE TO MAKE IT SWEET! AND YET YOU FAILED AT SOMETHING SO SIMPLE!" She more or less pulverised the Akuma into next century (Maybe she'd meet Adam's true parents then, eh? Eh? What do you mean it's in bad taste?) with a barrage of fists and rage mixed together.

She truly deserved the title of 'Noah of Wrath'.

"Hey, hey, don't show us something so nasty while we're eating" The tall dark and most certainly handsome man said. He was sitting just a seat away from the monstrous brute of a woman, whilst in-between them was a small child. Most certainly around 12 or 13 in age. Maybe older.

Oh, how appearances can be deceiving.

"It's peeling" This, most certainly Lady Killer of a man (Ironic, is it not?) said to no real person in particular. Maybe he was speaking to the brute, or he was speaking to the individual beside him? Only he knows.

But most likely it was the brooding brutish British (Yeah yeah I know she's English but British and English are nearly the same, right?) bitch (Another ironic word to use on her; can you figure out why? Hint: Loyalty) that he was talking to.

The BBBB (Nickname for 'Brooding Brutish British Bitch') simply walked away, but as she walked she said "Hmph" Well, technically that was a 'huff' but whatev's. What she DID say though, immediately after saying 'hmph' was "I'm going. My preferences for what I eat are different to yours"

To which the young child or rather young child LOOKING person said, "-"Oh wait a second, the tall dark and handsome guy spoke first. Woops.

He said, before she said, (She being the child) being "What's the matter with you? Just eat the god damn egg, you sweet tooth!"

The young looking female also joined in on the festivities of annoying Moor, saying "Calm down. We're trying to eat dinner with the family"

Yep. The rest of the family of mentally handica- Erm, I meant to say 'exceptional individuals' were there. Right.

"Isn't that right, Earl of the Millennium?" Finished the young child. See what I mean by mentally handicapped? If he's there, the IQ of the room drops by 50 degree's. But that's just how he is. King of the clowns.

Or rather, the most stupid out of all of them.

Yes yes I know I'm also calling myself an idiot but, hey, it's the truth. And I gotta speak it, bruda.

"Why don't you make us feel better by explaining why you called us all for a meal?" For the moment, we shall name her, 'little miss sunshine'. Sound good? Who asked you? I'm rolling with it.

"Maybe" Little miss sunshine bonked her head down on the table. "We're starting?"

_**TIMESKIP OF AWESOMENESS. NESS, ness, ness, ness… nes… ne… n… ss…**_

Today, in Miranda's world, something different happened than what would usually happen. What would USUALLY happen this morning didn't happen. Usually, she would just get splashed by water, filthy water by the way, and then go home to sleep.

Instead, a boy no older than 15 but most certainly looked like he was just before puberty in height, clad in black clothing, stepped into the alleyway of which this mysterious monster shouting "Where's the Innocence?" was holding her.

"Good afternoon, Akuma" The teenager spoke politely, like he was speaking to an old friend. Little did he know that he knew of Akuma's far before he thought he did.

The boy, with his arm made of Innocence, in the shape of something akin to a primitive version of a Lightsaber, slashed the monstrosity, and engaged into a fight with it, to the death!

The woman known as Miranda, whom also could be called 'little miss sunshine' to humorous effect, dashed from the alley, high-tailing it out of the place.

The strangest sight though, was most certainly the tears coming from her eyes; these tears were not of gratefulness that she had escaped with her life but of happiness that 'today' she had escaped from.

She ran home in ignorant bliss of her trials ahead.

Now, where was I you ask? Well, that's a funny story. You see, to put it simply; I was busy worrying over what could go wrong with this operation, as this mission was the one that Lavi, the future bookman, was recording events as of. The documents of what Bookman, his predecessor recorded though, were lost to the ages.

In truth though, they were hastily destroyed one night without a trace, and no one was the wiser. With the exception of one individual however. Said individual will remain anonymous for the time being though, as it wouldn't make the plot interesting now would it if I just handed you the answers on a silver-platter?

Life doesn't work like that; this story doesn't work like that.

However, I in this situation require a more thorough biography; in short, _**back to me**_.

God, have you ever gotten the feeling that at any given moment that you could just die and you would have expected it completely? That's how I felt exactly.

This was the mission of which Allen gets wounded by Rhode Kamelot (The Noah of whom I knew through the Earl's memories. They were gradually opening up to me as time went by; only, I could only remember back to the time of which Allen is about to defeat the Earl), and Lenalee gets angry at him.

According to Lavi's reports, Allen and Lenalee have certain feelings toward each other. Lenalee is said to have lost her virginity to him, if you don't get what I mean. The thought made my heart clench tighter and tighter as moments passed.

Her and _him_? The person I was going to kill in the end? Don't get me wrong, as much as it hurt to think of her and him together that way, it made me somewhat happy that she was going to be happy with him; if they still developed feelings for each other.

But that really is the problem; Lenalee gets the short end of the stick in this entire situation. If I fail, Lenalee's obvious emotional attachment to me would drive her to tears, and that thought scared me more than accidently making myself not exist a thousand times more.

If I succeed, then what could I do? I would have to leave. Go back to the future, and leave her behind. I would need to tell her that I was from the future, since I refused to lie to her after that point. It was all that kept me from bursting out secrets at this given moment.

Either I tell her the truth and leave her behind hating me, as she most likely would jump to the conclusion that I was just manipulating her to get close to Allen, manipulating her just for the backstab, or I tell a lie and simply vanish, she would probably end up searching for me, to no avail. How could you follow someone through time?

Either way, the future looked grim. I smacked my forehead, jeez, what was with me and ironic statements? I sighed, and realised that I had actually physically facepalmed and sighed.

"Um, Adam? Are you okay?" Lenalee asked. I could tell through her tone that she was genuinely concerned for me. If only I could tell her the truth.

"I'm just peachy Lenalee. You?" I responded with a small smile. I had been trying to avoid grinning and smiling as of late; mostly because on the train-ride here Allen and Lenalee made sure to tell me that I looked creepy as hell when I smiled.

Was that the Noah part of me? Or was it just the fact that the Earl also had an eerie way of smiling/grinning? Not that it mattered. Chances are, I, me, Adam Phoenix Millennium, wouldn't be around to deal with these problems. Not the smiling I mean, but the fact that I would eventually break Lenalee's heart, and kill Allen.

The guy I had grown fond of, in a brotherly manor, and the girl that I was sure I had some kind of feelings for. Hormones or love, as the Baron had told me.

_**FLASHBACK MOFO**_

_Baron, what do you think I feel towards Lenalee?_

_It was just before we left for the mission, and I was getting lunch wrapped up in a box that Jerry had been kind enough to give me._

_It was only light snacks, of which I knew wouldn't tie me over in a million years but at least it's something._

_Hormones are my guessing. It would explain those images in your mind. Horny little child._

_Hey! Who you calling a child, old man?_

…_You didn't even bother defending yourself about the horny part…_

…_No comment._

_Right. That, or…_

_Or?_

_Love. Plain and simple._

_Love? Sounds a little cheesy though, don't it?_

_Except for when it is._

_Love. The feeling of which people that are 'born' for each other supposedly feel. I always thought it was absolute croc, that it was stupid to think that there was someone you were born to be with, but the idea of being on the receiving end of Lenalee's affection did seem promising…_

_But to say I love her was, at least I thought, going too far._

_I wasn't even supposed to be feeling like this towards her, was I? I had a mission. A mission, to assassinate Neah after he became Earl._

_My only real complaint thought to my mission, to my burden to bear, was that was it what my heart wanted as well?_

_**END OF FLASHBACK MOTHERFUCKAAAA**_

Allen had showed up in my room shortly after though. It turns out he had woken just thirty minutes ago, and had come to my room to tell me to finish packing.

Allen though, had noticed my deep in thought facial expression, and had tried to ask me what was wrong.

Do you know how hard it was to say to the person that you were to kill that nothing was wrong? I wanted to shout from the rooftops, "I GOING TO EVENTUALLY KILL YOU ALLEN!" just to get it out of my system, but alas, nothing came.

Agitation didn't even begin to cover my emotions. Thinking over my situation, I felt as though by merely existing that I had somehow betrayed them. By liking Lenalee and thinking of Allen as kin, I had effectively made my own reason for coming here harder on myself and them than it should have.

It shouldn't have been this hard. I should have simply just died as the council wanted…

"Adam, are you alright? You're frowning" Lenalee said, concerned.

Lenalee shook me from my thoughts. Now wasn't the time to make hate myself and blame myself for my problems.

"I'm perfectly fine Lenalee, I can assure you" I said with a sly smile.

"In fact, I can show you just how fine I am. If you'll let me" I raised both my eyebrows in a "Sleep with me" fashion.

To say her face lit up like a Christmas wouldn't even begin to describe her facial expression.

"Anyway, moving away from that, where's Allen?" I said, breaking the tension between me and her. Well, it wasn't tension so much as it was Lenalee's constant squirming in her seat and my unwavering sexual dirtbag look on my face being the only thing that moved between us.

Allen walked in calmly, and out of the corner of my eye, I could _swear _I could see someone staring at us at the back of the restaurant/bar we were in. Sorry, describing surrounding's just isn't my thing. Nor is identifying them, for that matter.

"Hey, Adam scoot over" Allen demanded more than asked.

Without a sound I complied. I continued to stare at the person that was making failed attempts at staying hidden.

Allen handed Lenalee a drawing that I just took one look at and almost burst into uncontrollable fits of laughter. Seriously, who on god's green earth draws THAT bad? I was a rather moderate at it, but something about the drawing seemed familiar, when it hit me.

That drawing was just as bad as that little kid's that we and Allen met a while ago, Jeremy or something was his name, drawing of the Millennium Earl! Allen had the artistic drawing capability of a nine or ten year old! The thought made me break my mental rule not to smile or grin around Lenalee and Allen and burst into a large grin.

It came, and then it went just as Lenalee said to Allen "A drawing of her?" I could just HEAR the disbelief in her voice. She also thought the drawing was trash, but didn't want to offend Allen.

Feeling left out, I spoke up, taking my head off of my knuckles I said "Allen, that drawing is testament as to why you wouldn't succeed in anything beyond being an Exorcist" Allen sweatdropped and mumbled something about 'is' and 'bad'. I believe it was 'is it that bad?'

Lenalee shot me a disapproving glare. During missions, she was just as serious as me. I suppose some men would like a woman like that but to see her so serious slightly unnerved me. I never imagine the woman that had cried in front of me, repeatedly, to be so capable of serious expressions.

I bent my head down and shrugged my arms, "Hey, making an observation Lenalee. Don't fret. Wouldn't need your pretty little panties in a twist now, would I? They are the most lovely shade of white…" I purposely spoke just loud enough for Lenalee to hear me.

My shin had never hurt more than when she kicked me that day.

"Lenalee, how does Adam know your underwear colour?" Allen asked. Ooooooh, he was adding oil to the fire now.

Lenalee's face burned brighter than the sun and responded with a loud voice "It was just a good guess!"

Through a face contorted in pain, I maintained a sly grin and said "Aw. That hurts my feelings Lenalee. Why wouldn't you want to admit that we're sleeping together?"

I didn't regret a moment of it as Lenalee kicked me repeatedly in the 'nads. I wasn't going to feel my crotch for the rest of my life but it was worth it to see her face. So worth it.

Allen gave me and Lenalee a look of disbelief, the second I heard the first syllable out of his mouth I prepared myself for Lenalee's beatdown of Allen's crotch as well.

"He's joking right Lenalee?" Allen asked. I could feel some kind of emotion in his voice. Oh, jealously? Allen also had feelings for Lenalee. Oh well, tough luck sport. Get your own woman.

I could visualise me and Allen fighting it out to the death over who got Lenalee as a bride in ancient Rome. In the roman colosseum.

Then I imagined seeing Komui, giving me the thumbs up to kill him. And doing so.

The blood spilling out on the ground as I stabbed Allen straight through and through, chuckling softly at his last ditch attempts at life.

Struggling to breathe as the blood muffled his mouth, and putting him out of his misery by simply decapitating him.

Raising my blade to my face to lick off the bloo- Whoa, whoa. That got a little too real for my taste. (Geddit? *Ahem*)

Why did my imagination go that far? Shaking the thoughts out of my mind, I returned to reality to see Lenalee kicking the crap out of Allen's shin.

I took a step back, figuratively speaking of course, and realised that if she kept kicking him Allen was going to be needed to be carried.

Putting on an emotionless expression, if Lenalee was going to be one of the immature ones, I was going to have to command the team, of sorts.

"Lenalee. My apologies for the remark. Allen. Apologise for believing me. Lenalee. Stop kicking Allen. I don't care just how embarrassed you are, stop it. Allen needs to be able to walk you know. Given my unexplained ability regenerate quickly, I can already feel my legs and my crotch again. Allen isn't so lucky. So now you get to carry him" I said, giving Lenalee and Allen a hard glare.

She crossed her arms and looked away from me, before scooting back on her seat and meeting my eyes again. "I'm sorry for kicking you, Allen. But honestly, how could you believe that from Adam?"

"It's not my fault that you two look like a couple" Allen said, crossing his arms.

I choked on the food that I had brought out with me and had decided to eat at the time. What? We looked like a couple?

"Do we look like a couple?" Both I and Lenalee said in unison. We both turned away shyly and blushed slightly.

A thought popped into my head. How does Lenalee's heart keep up with her pumping that much blood through her cheeks? Pushing the question aside, I spoke up again.

"Allen. You still haven't apologised to Lenalee yet" I said formally.

He scratched the back of his head, "Right. I forgot" He cleared his throat, oh here we go…

"Lenalee. I am deeply sorry for annoying you past, present, and future" Just as Allen finished, I caught a movement out of my eye. Allen had taken Lenalee's hand, the same way someone would do with someone they lov-

THWACK! Allen got a rather large Lenalee-Chopkick to his head. When she had gotten up and out of his grasp I don't know.

He was out, cold. Serves him right for holding Lenalee's hand like that, I thought. Still, we needed Allen conscious so that he could identify the woman.

"Lenalee, we need Allen conscious in order for him to identify the woman who was attacked by the Akuma…" My voice trailed off as I looked behind Lenalee.

"GAH! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?" I screamed as I fell out of my seat.

She tried to escape by going through the window but I lunged at the woman, I needed answers damnit! I was lucky enough to catch her skirt.

"WOULD YOU CALM THE FUCK DOWN AND LET ME EXPLAIN? I'M AN EXORCIST DAMNIT!" I wasn't exactly calm either. The woman, whom I'd noticed earlier was spying on us was there, right behind me and Lenalee.

She wasn't an Akuma; otherwise Allen's eye would have reacted. That much I had known. Though, did his eye react only after he was bitten by Krory (A/N: Need confirmation about whether it's Crowry or Krory)? Or does it do that the whole time?

I couldn't afford to be wrong in this situation. So, I prepared a back-up plan. That plan being to levitate a giant flaming spear behind her head and see about whether she is an Akuma or not. Fool-proof.

_After getting her inside…_

Right before the woman began her introduction, I eyed my surroundings. Where's an Akuma, there's a dozen.

I noticed the people on the bar all hadn't ordered anything. Strange. But not uncommon for them to simply be waiting for their drinks.

Still, I kept them in mind as she began her introduction.

"I… I'm Miranda Lotto. I'm very happy that someone other than me has noticed this town's abnormality. I tried telling other people, but I was made a fool of. I really wanted to commit suicide, it was so horrid. Oh, but I'm able to dodge the poo now" Poo? What on earth?

*Rustle* I turned around and noticed that one of the men on the bar was looking at us. Or was. He turned around the second I saw him looking at us. Another strange occurrence.

I created a flame serpent the same colour as the floor and let it wriggle along the ground, stopping right behind the chairs of the people there. If need be, the snake would leap into the air directly upwards and I could, from there, detonate the snake and destroy the Akuma. It needed to be a shape charge though, I couldn't tell who was an Akuma and who wasn't. Those people right beside them probably weren't; they hadn't even bothered to look our way the whole time.

Chances are though, that those people sitting on bar stools were.

Whilst Miranda was busy assaulting Lenalee about her problems, I pulled Allen's unconscious body under the table to shield him from the fighting. Oh well, here goes nothing.

"Lenalee. Take Miranda and run. Those people over there are Akuma. Don't question me. Run" I said as I stood up.

They stood up as I continued to explain to Lenalee, "They've been acting fishy whilst we were talking the entire time. And with Allen unconscious, I was incapable of saying with certainty that they were Akuma. Now I can" The people's skin ripped and tore apart, revealing the Akuma underneath.

_**We had a fight on our hands.**_

* * *

**Author's notes: The fight feels somewhat sudden really. Still, I'm really happy how this chapter turned out, it took 4 FUCKING HOURS to make this thing and edit it, so SHUT UP AND ENJOY IT. Jk jk jk, though I am still tired. It's 10 at night here as I write this. Not really when I publish it but when I write this. :P**

**Oh right, SUCK IT WOLVERINE.**

**Adam is so serious and strong, and cheeky. Bugger. Making advances towards Lenalee. God though, that was just as hilarious to write as it was to read once more. XD**

**Laterz, I'm out.**


	25. The Rewinding Town And Stuff Like That

_**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!**_

* * *

_CHAPTER 26_

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**Author's notes: Oh. My. God. You do not know how much editing this monster took. XD After editing this, I came up with a ending different to the one I originally had, and therefore removed like 10 thousand words from this story. So yeah, enjoy this 34,045 word(s) story!**

**Shoutout's to everyone that fav'd among other stuff in-between the posting of the last chapter and this one right now:**

**CrazySarahify doing the unholy trio of fav'ing me as an Author, fav'ing this story alongside following it. You are awesomesauce. :)**

**Mukuro234 for following in CrazySarahify's footsteps and fav'ing this story, me as an Author, and following this story whilst he/she was at it! (Don't know the gender of the guy. :P) YOU ROCK! :)**

**I shall now read a poem in both of your honour:**

_**See, see the Wonderful sky **_

_**Marvel at its big CrazySarahify depths. **_

_**Tell me, Mukuro234 do you **_

_**Wonder why the YO MOMMA ignores you? **_

_**Why its foobly stare makes you feel Thank you. **_

_**I can tell you, it is **_

_**Worried by your Fantasplendid facial growth **_

_**That looks like **_

_**A Air. **_

_**What's more, it knows**_

_**Your Pork potting shed Smells of Jesus.**_

_**Everything under the big Wonderful sky**_

_**Asks why, why do you even bother?**_

_**You only charm Flamess.  
**_

**HAHAHAHA! XD I mean no offence guys/gals/one guy one girl. XD I just find whatever the Vorgon Poetry Generator spews out to be absolutely hilarious. XD**

**With that out of the way, I'd like to thank the following people for reviewing:**

******Stella Rose-chan for Reviewing 4 time(s) {Gee thanks. Your my number one reviewer! :) }**

**CrazySarahify for Reviewing 6 time(s) {NOT! HE/SHE IS! Hahahah :) }**

** Mukuro234 for Reviewing 1 t****ime(s) {Cheapskate}**

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**(He doens't have a profile, hence no link being available) CrossGrave for Reviewing 3 time(s) {SEE D3VIL, Lil'cuppyCAKEZ, and ShadowMoonPendant, even the anonnymous guy reviewed more often than you! Hahaha. :) }**

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**Ha, with that mountain climbed, we must now climb the one directly behind it! That one being dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot**

**THE DISCLAIMER!: I do not own D. Gray-man, although soon enough I will. I just need to somehow brainwash LeLouch vi Brittania into working for me, and then get him to beat Katsura Hoshino at Chess. Whilst riding the horse from 'My Horse Is Amazing'. FOOLPROOF, I TELL YOU!**

**I can't even remember what I meant to say half the time. Ah well. Price of awesanity I guess. :)  
_ON WITH TEH STORY! (ON PURPOSE SPELLING MISTAKE!)_**

* * *

_You know that feeling, that you get whenever you're expecting something to happen, but didn't want it to?  
__That was the precise feeling I had right then and there._

SWOOSH! The shaped charge snake launched into the air, and detonated with a resounding explosion…

…And it did nothing, because the shape charge was facing the wrong way.

Damn it.

Lenalee complied before the Akuma could recover. At least I could say later that it was part of some grander plan to let them escape…

Lies later, surviving first.

Wasting no time, I invoked my innocence, and created a flame shield that covered me from the first wave of attacks.

Low powered of course, no need to be suspicious.

The clanging of the shield was fierce enough to send my ears ringing, and I was in a momentary daze.

SHNK! Spikes protruded from the shield and nearly impaled all the Akuma, instead forcing them all to dodge.

Displacing the shield and reforming it into something else, I brought up the newly formed Casull and fired a well-placed shot straight into the head of the largest Akuma. He exploded quickly.

"VOICE OF PAIN!" The three-headed Akuma shouted.

Nothing could prepare me for the feeling of my head cracking. But it passed as quickly as it came. Right, can't forget, I'm actually stronger than I let on, so this attack barely fazed me.

Still, I acted out my pain whilst still keeping a close eye on the enemy, making sure they didn't get a sneak attack in.

"WIND SPLITTING SHACKLE!" An oval shaped (Horizontally anyway, but I found out later that it was actually just his torso - _Adam_) Akuma with blades for arms shouted.

The attack came down hard, crushing everything in a straight line from the Akuma to my left side.

I evaded, and clutched at my head. If they work together as well as I think they do, then they should be attacking me right about…

An Akuma came down from above and nearly decapitated me in a guillotine like fashion.

One of the slashes caught me on my cursed arm. It burned excruciatingly, but then subsided as my arm healed. I covered my arm, no need to let the Earl know of my healing abilities.

"'Ice fire', it's hotter than fire." The Akuma that had just attacked me explained.

They were ganging up on me, in front of me. Damn damn damn! I was backed up against a wall! Nowhere to evade…

I dropped the Casull and switched it out for a double barrelled shotgun. If I could aim it just right, I could catch them all in the wide blast. Adjusting the accuracy slightly, I was ready, as they loomed over me.

"Even if you just touch it a little bit, it will corrode your flesh." The Akuma with a wind-up key for a lower body said.

"Let's tear, let's tear!" The Akuma with blades for arms shouted happily.

"No, no. I'm going to use my voice to destroy his brain, it's fun." The three-headed Akuma said.

"We're going to tear." Argued the blades-for-arms Akuma.

"No, corrode!" Retorted the pony-tailed Akuma.

"No, the brain!" The three-headed Akuma exclaimed.

They all looked at each other quizzically as they came to an impasse.

Playing rock paper scissors happened to be that impasse.

What? Just what? Why on earth are they…

_Don't ask me. I may have designed these creatures but it was an occupational hazard that caused these Akuma to end up being like this._

'Occupational hazard'? What kind of 'condition' could make these Akuma like this?

_Like I said, and I quote; "don't ask me"._

You're no help.

_Anytime._

THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE!

_So does being able to travel through time, so shut up and let me watch my television, boy._

Who you callin' boy, Old man?

_Who you callin' Old, child?_

Who you callin' child, Old man?

_They're close to finishing their game of rock paper scissors you know._

Oh, right. I won't interrupt them, then.

_Why? Why not take this opportunity to destroy them?_

It's, kind of complicated.

Actually, it isn't.

My master, George, taught me honour, and things like it. It's honourable to let an enemy catch his or her breathe in a battle if they require so.

_That will kill you someday._

And just like that, he was gone.

"Alright, we've come to a draw. Repeatedly." Remarked the three-headed Akuma.

"Yes yes, a draw." The pony-tailed Akuma said.

"So I don't get to cut you. Yet." The blades-for-arms Akuma said.

"So, because we don't have a winner, we all win. Therefore, we ALL GET TO ATTACK YOU!" The three-headed Akuma shouted giddily.

"WE'LL KILL YOU, EXORCIST!" The three-headed Akuma shouted as I readied my shotgun.

"But first." The pony-tailed Akuma said, raising a massive arm. "We must thank you for letting us finish. For a while there, I half expected you to interrupt us while we were playing." The Akuma just thanked me? What the hell? And wasn't he acting stupid just a minute ago?

Recovering from my shock, I replied "You're welcome, Akuma. I live by a sense of honour for both myself, and my enemies."

The blades-for-arms Akuma snorted. "An honourable, Exorcist. Shame we're going TO KILL YOU!"

"**W**_a_**i**_t._**"** A disembodied voice said, causing me to snap to attention.

"**L**_o_**o**_k_**s** **l**_i_**k**_e_ **f**_u_**n**. **B**_u_**t a**_r_**e**_n'_**t** **y**_o_**u** **g**_u_**y**_s_ **f**_o_**r**_g_**e**_t_**t**_i_**n**_g_ **a**_b_**o**_u_**t** **r**_e_**t**_r_**i**_e_**v**_i_**n**_g_ **t**_h_**e** **I**_n_**n**_o_**c**_e_**n**_c_**e**_?_" The voice questioned.

"**C**_o_**m**_e_ **b**_a_**c**_k_ **t**_o_ **m**_e._" The voice demanded.

Why did I recognise that voice…

My spine chilled when I realised whom owned that voice.

Rhode Kamelot, was in the rewinding town.

I think a cuss is in order.

Shit.

_**SCENE CHANGE MOTHERFUCKAAAAAAAAAAAAAA**_

_At Miranda's apartment…_

Miranda being called scared, or in distress, would only underestimate the utter shock that she was experiencing.

"WHAT IS THAT THING!?" Shouted Miranda.

"A human turned into a mons…monster…I was attacked yesterday too! What is that thing!?" Miranda, the screamer, was on a table, for whatever reason. There was even nice comfortable chair within inches of where she was sitting, scared out of her sane mind.

If she ever had one that is.

"T-that black-haired boy, his hand, his hand…" If I was around, I would have smiled and laughed at just how ridiculous she was being.

"Calm down, Miranda." Lenalee's attempts at calming down the hysterical Miranda were failing, miserably.

"Do you think I can calm-…" Miranda was interrupted by Lenalee's Noah senses picking up Innocence in the clock key, the clock key in turn sensing a Noah in its midst.

The key made a noise that sounded like 'shara' shortly before Miranda tipped the table over, fantastically, and landed right arm first into the ground.

Lenalee, after screeching out in surprise, was still shocked, so what she said next came out slowly, and scarily.

"That…key." Lenalee whispered.

Lenalee couldn't understand what was wrong with herself, she had this, _need_, to destroy the key. To grab and crush it under heel, and then scatter the remains at a cross roads. It was a terrifying thought that she could feel such rage at anyone besides Leverrier.

Barely containing her mysterious anger, Lenalee asked "Is it for the clock?"

Miranda, being Miranda, was nervous, the years of being dejected from everyone else for failure immediately acting out, causing her to stutter and look forlorn in an instant.

"Y-you think I'm an idiot, don't you? For keeping this thing…" To be fair, Miranda, I, back at the 2017 Black Order, have the entire collection of Soul Eater, Soul Eater _Not!,_ and Fullmetal Alchemist, both Brotherhood and the norm. All of it stockpiled in my room.

It's a good thing Alchemy doesn't exist in this universe, otherwise Lenalee might have attempted Human transmutation. She might have even ended up like Paninya…

Back to the important stuff, Lenalee tried to comfort Miranda, saying "No, that's not what I think. You must have some important memories with it."

Miranda continued to look forlorn for a second, before going on a tangent of her life story. Including about how she acquired the clock she currently has.

_Later, when night had fallen on the Rewinding Town…_

"The Akuma ran away?" Lenalee asked me.

Ordinarily, I would be getting treated for the burn I received on my arm, but it had healed earlier. So I sat there whilst Lenalee treated Allen instead, the blow to his shin had left a nasty bruise, and he told us it hurt to walk, but otherwise he was fine.

Although, he always says that, even when he's hurting. If only I had the ability to get over such things as quickly, I can only move past my grief over my brother because apparently Noah have more control of their emotions. Yet they seem to get angry REALLY easily. Funny that.

In short; I envy Allen's bravery and am beating myself up over it whilst Lenalee is looking at me expectantly and I had to force a calm and goofy expression for the sake of all of us.

"Basically, sort of." Should I or shouldn't I say that I heard Rhode Kamelot? That was almost the question, except that I screwed up the line. Crap.

"Why are you confirming it twice?" Lenalee asked.

"Because I like to hear my own voice." I replied sarcastically.

I could see the vein on Lenalee's face getting a smidge bigger. Oh, is she getting angry? How adorable.

"Without the sarcasm, Adam."

"Fine, fine, killjoy."

"What did you just call me?"

"You heard me. Killjoy. Do you need me to spell it out for you?" Things were spiralling out of control far faster than I would have liked at that moment…

Oh god, the vein in her head is growing. I think I struck a nerve by teasing her…

"Um, maybe you should calm down, Lenalee, Adam…?" Allen interrupted.

We both glared daggers at Allen and yelled out in sync "STAY OUT OF THIS, ALLEN!"

Cue angry staring contest with Lenalee and myself.

"You know, it really isn't helping that you two argue kind of like a couple as well." I could hear Allen mutter under his breath.

I blinked. Allen still sees us as a couple, even after that? Damn it! And I had hoped that he leave me alone with it if I argued just once with Lenalee! That was the plan anyway…but instead it's backfired! Damn you, Allen!

My thoughts swirling around didn't make any difference whatsoever to my facial expression, as it was still false anger.

I breathed out a sigh. No need to argue if it won't do me any good.

"My apologies Lenalee. You misinterpreted what I said. I meant it as in, 'well yes, but they didn't run away exactly.'" I explained.

"Oh." She replied simply. Whew, I thought she was going to get angry again for my choice of wor- "Then why didn't you say that to begin with?" Well, CRAP.

I don't really want to explain that I orchestrated the argument. That might be the worst possible explanation.

"You look so cute when you're angry." I replied with my best charming smile.

Putting on 'teh moves' worked, as shown by how Lenalee is now blushing. That might deepen Allen's opinion that I'm Lenalee's boyfriend, but it worked. Argument avoided.

Allen cleared his throat, and with a pained look on his face I realised that Lenalee was actually gripping Allen's bruise a smidge too tightly.

Lenalee let go immediately, shocked expression on her face. Her Noah instincts must have made her try and destroy Allen, the host of his innocence.

Even now, my hand is gripping the interior of my pants pocket so hard I'm afraid that it'll rip it apart. Noah instincts are pretty hard to suppress, but in Lenalee's case she might lose it since she doesn't know to actively suppress it.

That might cause problems.

I can contain it, but I have no clue just for how much longer. I might snap at any minute and attack Miranda and destroy her Innocence, and the same goes for Allen.

That too, might cause problems.

Though, as long as I can maintain consciousness, (I'm presuming that the Noah instincts would work subconsciously that is, therefore making me dangerous when unconscious) I'll be fine. But when I do…

I dare not even think of the kind of destruction that the Millennium Earl's power is capable of.

The destruction of person after person, ripped to shreds by well-placed swords strokes. Building after building destroyed by Dark Matter explosions, entire families murdered in the blink of an eye. Towns, even city's, wiped off the face of the earth with a single explosion equivalent to that of a thousand nuclear warheads. Countries decimated from the massacres.

Blood. Blood flowing like the ocean through streets, swallowing up anything and everything in its wake. The lone survivors, two children, one clutching her teddy bear, and her big brother standing valiantly against the perpetrator, are staring the wave straight in the face. The blood boiling from the flames rising out of the buildings, crashes into two and melt's their skin right of-

"ADAM!"

Whoa, whoa! What the hell was that vision? That, thought?

I look at Lenalee's terrified eyes, and in her eyes I see the reflection of myself.

A grin going from ear to ear, glowing a malevolent white, with eyes that look like they go into the vary deepest depths of madness.

My face, my face…it wasn't mine anymore. It was the visage of the Millennium Earl. Just younger.

I started shaking, my usual ability to act calmly and think clearly gone. Fear overran me, and I ended up crawling up into a ball. The fetal position, to be exact.

I can't stop shaking. I can't stop being afraid. I can't stop, anything.

BARON! Baron, please, I, I, I need your help. Help me stop this, fear. Please. I'm begging you.

I could hear a slightly annoyed sigh.

_I can't. Part of the process of becoming a Noah means of course accepting the memories of the previous Noah's. It's that simple. You have get used to the memories of mine._

Baron, that town, no, country, where was that?

_If you payed enough attention, then you would have remembered that my knowledge is your knowledge._

So, your best guess is mine as well? Swell. Absolutely astounding.

_I know right? But ah, I must be off. One of my shows is coming on._

Bye then. Brony.

_Servant._

WHY YOU OLD- my thoughts were interrupted by a sack wack of epic emotional proportions.

What is this feeling? This fear? Or this….actually what is this? It feels, nice. It's…the kind of feeling I get when I'm anticipating something. Is this…anticipation? Why do I feel this good all of a sudden? Did I take pleasure in seeing that? What's happening to me? BARON!

But he didn't answer me, and I was drawn out of my thoughts by Lenalee dragging me to my feet and putting me back into my chair.

"ADAM! ADAM! Are you okay?" Lenalee shook me out of what remained of my daze. She looked really hurt and concerned, and out of the corner of my eye I could see Allen looking at me worriedly as well. He probably would have beat Lenalee to helping me off the ground, if he didn't have an injured leg.

In fact, now that I look at it, Allen is actually _restrained _to the chair. Man Lenalee don't take no shit, apparently.

Breathing in deeply, I put on my usual goofy expression and smile, and replied "Always Lenalee. I'm offended that you need to ask."

She frowned, and the hurt in her eyes was far more pronounced. "Why do you joke about things like this?! You just started shaking and crawled up into a ball for no reason, and you're joking?! Just give me a straight answer, Adam! Tell me, are you, okay?" She was pleading with me now. Just great, like my conscious wasn't annoying me enough.

Time to lie again. "I'm honestly telling you Lenalee, that I, honestly, am honestly fine, honestly. I honestly promise. Honestly. See? I wouldn't joke if I wasn't fine now would I?" My smirk just grew and my despair went up with it.

Lenalee's hurt went away, I either convinced her or she simply realised she wasn't going to get me to budge. I was hoping it was the former but the latter was far more likely. "Alright then. But could you tell me what that was?"

I paused. I can't tell her that I all of a sudden had a flashback slash new memory right then and there that caused me to grin evilly, relish it, (Which is still what flows through me) and then cause me to panic due to intense fear and shaking that I could only presume was sadness.

Lying, again, within the space of the same minute. Fan-tastic.

"It was-"I considered saying 'it was nothing. Truthfully, it was nothing' but that would just lead to an argument with Lenalee again.

"Just some bad memories. This arm," I said gesturing to my right arm. "Used to make me get beat up a lot on the streets, and I remember one time that I got hurt so bad that I thought I was going to die." I gripped my pants tightly. Time for the Emmy-worthy performance! "I. I." Here, I swallowed dramatically. "Was attacked by the towns people (I spoke that part with the slightest hint of scorn) and kidnapped. They attempted to stone me to death." Somehow, this didn't feel like lying…"In front of the whole village. I managed to wiggle my way out of the ropes and run but…not before taking repeated blows to various parts of my body. I managed to hobble out of there with my left arm broken in three places, my upper right thigh bone snapped in half, bleeding constantly all over and blood obscuring my vision." Cue flashing applause sign.

What was strange about that story was that it didn't feel false at all. It felt as though if…no time to dwell on it now.

I could see Allen look away and gripped one of the restraints tightly, and Lenalee look at me with a look of both shock and disbelief on her face. She was gasping.

"Adam! Why didn't you ever tell me you survived such torture?" She asked, and I could practically _sense _the tears welling up in her eyes.

"I didn't think it was relevant to our current situation. Speaking of which, how IS the accommodator? She's over there washing the clock the clock quite quickly." I tried to change the subject.

"Oh, yeah. Miranda hasn't moved since Lenalee explained about the Akuma and us." Allen interjected. Oh, thank you Allen, you're a life saver.

_Irrronyyyy._

Shut up Baron, I didn't ask you.

_Someone on their period now?_

Bantering won't get us anywhere.

_I believe Heath Ledger said it best; "Why so serious?"_

Haha, very funny. I guess I should be relaxing, it's just…what was that? The big brother and the little sister, standing side by side against the wave of blood flowing towards them…

_Haunted by the past. It happens._

Past? What past?

…_I've said too much._

And just like that, the door in my conscious mind slammed and I was left alone in a room filled with people.

Only, I'm kind of the moron intelligence wise, not the expression.

Unanswered questions on top of unanswered questions. Yep, still worse than the ending of Mass Effect 3.

Whilst my thoughts were clouding my vision, Allen had begun talking to Miranda. Huh, I do tend to space out a bit don't I…

Miranda stood up for no reason, looking like she wasn't even conscious, and walked briskly over to her bed.

"You're going to sleep!?" Allen shouted.

"This seems weird…" Lenalee commented.

I blinked. Strange, but not unheard of for people under extreme duress to act irrationally, although…she looked like she had no soul, as if she was being forced to do this without her consent.

The gears in my made an almost audible CLUNK! as I realised something.

She must come into contact with the Innocence source daily. And now, she's acting not on her own, that means that the Innocence must be clo-

I felt a set of eyes watching me and turned to the clock, expecting it to stare back at me. Nothing but the clock face greeted me, but the clock chimed angrily. It must have sensed me, and I it.

So the clock is the Innocence…that would explain the time related phenomenon.

And it ain't happy that there's a Noah in its midst.

I looked out the window, expecting to see the pitch black sky of midnight, and instead saw something phenomenal. Well, more so than the fact that town rewinds the same day over and over.

Giant clock shaped, things, (Still not good with descriptors, my apologies) were wriggling around and flying into the room, and into the clock, and (DOBBY WAS WATCHING! Sorry, 'My Immortal Dramatic Reading' by 'Tehpogo'. Watch all of the parts and you'll understand - _Adam_) surprisingly, Allen and Lenalee were still trying to wake Miranda up.

Those two are so oblivious sometimes…

"HEY! YOU TWO! LOOK OVER HERE! SOME WEIRD SHIT IS HAPPENING!" I shouted to both of them.

They both turned around and had the best reactions at everything, were I not under the constraints of a mission, I would have framed it, and put it in my room. Ah, good times would have been had.

But still. The pull from the clock was overwhelming, so much so that I had to create a flame grapple hook (The same kind that I used on Komui) to latch onto window, just as quickly as Allen and Lenalee latched onto the bed, with a sleeping Miranda simply waving around stupid looking in the wind.

Shit shit shit! The wind is- oh wait a second. I increased my power to max and my grip on the window became unwavering. Nevermind. I was going to go on a bitching streak about how I was close to being sucked in, but never mi-

Images flew by me; images of what had happened earlier that today, all of them on the face of the clock. One showed my glance towards Miranda, another showed my encounter with the Akuma, and the third one was of me getting hit in crotch by Lenalee. Good times were had.

Although, strangely enough, there was a red hue to the images that were of me, strange…it might be because I'm from a different time period though. Maybe. It can't be because I'm a Noah; otherwise the images of Allen passing by me would also have a red hue to it.

Interesting, in an odd way.

The last of the clocks were sucked into the clock, and then disappeared just as the clock hit 7 o'Innocence in the morning.

My flame Innocence receded back into my arm and I picked myself off of the floor. Right. That happened.

Light pouring in through the windows caught my attention and I was made aware that the sun had risen. In the space of a minute.

Allen and Lenalee said it far quicker than I could.

"IT'S MORNING?!" They shouted together.

Immediately though, as soon as they realised this, Lenalee started berating Allen for moving on his injured leg and forcibly tied him to Miranda's bed's headrest as Miranda got up out of said bed.

I sighed and sweat dropped, mulling over the situation before hearing Miranda utter words I knew were coming but still dreaded to hear. "Hmmm…? When did I get in bed?"

For some reason, I'm starting to think that if my soul isn't shaved, I'm going to send myself to my maker impeccably shaved.

_Somewhere else in Rewinding Town…On a rooftop or chimney, for those nit pickers out there…_

"That was amazing." That's also what she said.

"Mistress Rhode _(__**A/N:**_ _I'm just letting you know I'm pretty sure that it's 'Road' in the anime, but Rhode is simple cooler than 'Road' m'kay? So for continuity reasons as well I'm gonna stick with 'Rhode'),_ is it okay to leave the Exorcists alone…?" The Akuma asked. Rhode was giddily digging her fingers into the Akuma, licking the blood off of her fingers. Well, Oil but still.

"It should be ok, right?" At least the Akuma knew when to keep his mouth shut; by saying anything to Rhode he would have effectively shoved a fragment of Innocence up his own asshole, therefore screwing him. Painfully.

"Until they get the Innocence." Rhode continued.

_(__**A/N**__: Normally, this would be where I end the chapter since it's the end of the Issue and it's as good a place to stop as any, but no, I'M GIVING YOU GUYS A MEGA CHAPTER. The entire arc of the rewinding town will be in this chapter, so buckle in for this special treat! First though, a word from our sponsors)_

* * *

Adam: Hello, I am Adam Phoenix Millennium and I would like to tell of my maker's glorious- do I have to read this? *Hits script with back of hand*

Me: Yes, now read it cockhole!

Adam: No need to make references to Hellsing Ultimate Abridged on me, geez. Ahem, glorious idea of a giant story crossover between D. Gray-man, Hellsing, Code Geass, he's got a note attached it saying, quote on quote: "My apologies for not finishing the story yet, or updating Infinite Possibilities in a long time, but I have honestly considered just explaining the plot to everyone, the big twist, and then simply discontinuing it. Instead, I'll be having a 'LeLouch has a twin-sister' story in its place. My hope for it is that I set it out for a massive interweaving plot that's astounding in design and stuff. Basically, even more interweaved than D. Gray-man: The New Black World Order. So yeah, that's the announcement. Sorry." Right. Anyways, Soul Eater aaaaaaaaaaand I believe it says here, are you kidding me? Really?

Me: No, I am not kidding you. Just read it out, but now it is a strict possibility.

Adam: Fine, fine. It says here Halo is also a possible idea since you thought it'd be cool to have self-insert of yourself in the universe of being a Spartan in action, and want to duke it out with the Spartan augments to successfully, 'get Lenalee to shut the fuck up, stretch Allen out so that he's not a Moyashi anymore, shake hands and make fangirl noises at Alucard,' *Under breathe* Sick fuck. *Audible again* 'Meet LeLouch and see just how good at chess he really is, but secretly bet all money on him and become a millionaire, see just how long it takes for Kallen to become naked or barely clothed by timing it with a stop watch, be as asymmetrical as possible to see how Kidd would react, show Soul "Some real music none of the woman piano shiz biz that he plays" and finally see how hot Blair the cat is in person'. Oh, there's a subsection over here about 'things to do about Maka's self-esteem' with a whole list of villain-esq speeches about why she should be crying in a corner right now. Whoa, these are dark, man. Ha! This prank here about exploding books is pretty funny though.

Me: I never thought I'd stoop so low as actually feel good when my subject is the only one complementing me. *Sad face*

Adam: Don't I have a world to save?

Me: Not yet. First, MORE FUTURE FANFICTION PLANZ! PLAY ME ON STINGY MUSICIAN MAN!

*OC whose name I will not reveal yet*: It took me precisely 2 minutes 27 seconds for me to read this whole section of text. What must take up my time now? I have a recital of great importance, as it is where my story begins in the world of the E-

Me: Hush now youngling! No need to go telling everyone just what universe you are from. Though if they Scroll through the text they might find a hint or two as too the universe, hm, yes?

Mistress Anonymous: When are you going to introduce me? I think it's right about time that I get to shine.

Me: Damn it OC's stop revealing yourselves! I still have to work on you completely, the douche Musician is the only one close to completion, and Mistress Anonymous I still don't have the chance to work on you yet either.

Mistress Anonymous: Yes, Master. I shall return to the Death's Realm now to fulfil your orders of do nothing.

Me: STOP REVEALING PLOT DEVICES DAMN IT! I NEED TO KEEP THE DEATH'S REALM UNDER WRAPS SINCE THE IDEA ISN'T FINISHED YET EITHER!

Aku Tenshi: I'll return with her too, if that's okay with you master…?

Me: Always the timid one, aren't you? *Sighs and gestures to portal in wall* Go. Return to your lord and leave me be.

*Aku Tenshi and Mistress Anonymous teleport away*

Me: Right, now that THAT is over with.

Adam: What?

Me: I'd like to give a shout-out to Stella Rose-chan for no apparent reason, and would recommend reading her 'Innocent Heart' since it is now done with revision and badass shiz. Go on, do it! I'll still be here when you get back. Anyways, random crediting out of the way, I want to thank those that have this on their favourite stories lists, and are following this, among other things. I love you guys, BUT YOU DON'T REVIEW! REVIEW DAMN YOU!

Adam: Shouldn't we be getting back to the story?

Me: Yes, actually, we should.

**THIS TIME, ON THE NEW BLACK WORLD ORDER**

* * *

Oh, this is a total ass-whoring. Seriously. I need to be profane to stop myself from saying it out loud. For whatever reason, I can't stop the feeling of anger, and the endless need to destroy coursing through me. Baron mentioned to me earlier that as a Noah I would have strong bloodlust and a fiery rage in every fibre of my being. And, to make things even _better_, since it's the 1st's traits that I'm inheriting it means that I get his hatred towards humanity as well. Right now, I can barely stop myself from sneering too. You couldn't even begin to imagine the self-control it takes to do this.

This reminds me, fuckity fuck fuck fuckin' fuck fuck fuck fuckkkkkkk fuckity ass-whore fucking shit. Ah, that felt good to mentally swear. I needed that.

Allen was goofing around by somehow being inside of the clock, how I don't know, but he was. Lenalee and Miranda were busy yelling at him for it, and I was off silently brooding in the corner trying my absolute hardest to contain myself and not kill them all and cause millions of dollars in property damage. So yeah, that's currently my life right, how are you doing this fine freakin' evening?

Sadly, being angry and unimaginably bloodthirsty is not one of my favourite things. So you can imagine the mood I'm in right now.

Miranda was giving them the run down on her life, I could overhear her quite easily from where I was sitting, but hot damn, I'm in a predicament. I need to contain myself, and I need to do it until the 'evolution' as the Baron put it that I'm going through finishes. Hopefully it's soon, but not _too_ soon. I don't need to turn into a Noah right in front of the enemy; otherwise things could go awry really, _really _easily. As I know from Baron, the Millennium Earl can see and hear through his Akuma.

Not to mention the risk of when we meet the Noah later, as far as I know from reading the future telling documents, the Bookman Junior, his current alias being 'Lavi' apparently asked about what happened at the rewinding town and Allen gave a detailed description. I know roughly that I have to be knocked unconscious alongside Allen and Lenalee, but what I'm wondering is if I CAN be knocked unconscious, I'm not sure just how strong my resistance to the Akuma's attack is. I might fall for it easily or it will be nigh impossible. There's no way to be sure. I just have to hope that if push comes to shove I can do whatever I need to make things go along as they do.

_All you ever do is worry, servant. Relax for once. You're evolution is almost over, and pretty soon, you'll meet the family. Well, part of it, anyway._

…You're plan is for me to go with the Noah, isn't it?

_Yep. Am I that obvious?_

I just know how to read you, Baron. It's that simple. We're, _friends_, after all.

_In a master servant kind of way, of course._

Alright, if you want to call it that then fine. Whatever floats your ark, Baron.

_I see what you did thur._

Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week.

_You might want to pay attention again, the rest of your current compatriots are nearing the end of their conversation._

Right. Thanks Baron.

…_You're, welcome. Anything for a family member._

As uncomfortable as it is to think this, likewise, Baron. God that felt wrong to think.

"Let's think this through one more time…" I could hear Lenalee say.

Now, according to the future telling documents, it took them three days to think of an idea, and it'll look suspicious if I, the smart one, don't come to it, so I'll be needing to shorten that time span…

* * *

_**~TIME SKIP~ BITCHEZ~**_

* * *

The very next day I suggested the idea of helping Miranda get a steady job so that her Innocence would do as she asked and stop rewinding the same day. The idea was met with no real resistance and considerable praise.

Allen, with a giant pumpkin on his head, was juggling. I however, was doing magic tricks. I dressed appropriately of course, in a wizard's tuxedo and top hat. God I love top hats. (Don't forget the cane!) It wasn't that hard to deceive these people, honestly. It took me just about all of thirty or so minutes to draw a crowd of pretty stupid people.

"Ah, come one, come all! Witness the magic tricks of Mister Mysterious~~!" It actually felt like a true calling being a magician, being theatrical and deceiving people with simple tricks. If I didn't know any better, I swear I would have done this before.

"Oh wow! Can you pull a rabbit out of the hat?" One child asked giddily. Ah, the innocence in a child's eyes.

"Yeah! Can you? Can you?" Another interjected.

"Yeah, I bet you can't!" A resounding 'OOOOOOooooooOOOOO' in the style of 'oh no he didn't' rose from the crowd. Basically, people were egging me on. Alright then.

"Alright! Prepare to be amazed~~ by the astounding~~ abilities of Mister Mysterious~~!" I reached in the hat, and conjured up a flame bunny with white flame that looked like fur appeared in my palm. Pulling my hand out of the hat, I said "Tadaaa~~~! A bunny, but not just any old bunny~! Oh no, this is a rare north American pine woods rabbit, only one hundred are left in the world, and I just so happen to have one~!" Lying. Through. My. Teeth.

Another noise rose from the crowd, this one gasps of amazements mixed in with looks of astonishment to just plain OMFGWTFBBQ looks. Good times.

"Another trick, anyone?" I asked. The crowd roared in anticipation. God, this sounds like rock concert...minus the drunk people. Sparing the smallest glance from my work to look at the clock beside me, I noticed that I only had a few more minutes before the end of my shift. And only a few more minutes until Miranda will be kidnapped.

Alright, I thought with a physical sigh, time for the amazing finisher! I shouted out to all my adoring fans "ALRIGHT, NOW, MISTER MYSTERIOUS~~~ UNFORTUNATELY HAS TO LEAVE SOON, SO I'LL DO ONE AMAZING~~~ STUNT FOR ONE LUCKY PERSON! RAISE YOUR HANDS IF YOU HAVE A STUNT THAT YOU WANT MISTER MYSTERIOUS~~~ TO PERFORM!"

A girl down the back raised her hand and I called out "You! The little girl in blue at the back!"

The crowd dispersed and the little girl in blue appeared, with blonde hair and big pig tails that flowed straight down to her waist. She appeared troubled too.

"The trick you want to see Mister Mysterious~~ perform young lady?" I asked.

"I…" The sadness was obvious in her cringing face. I could recognise that sadness anywhere. It was the same look my brother gave me when we lost our parents. I stopped my shuffling of cards to look at her face. She was almost heavenly, so why was she sad?

"I…I just…" She stopped and regained her posture and looked me dead in the eye, fiery determination evident in them.

"I WANT MY PARENTS BACK!" She shouted at the top of her lungs. I was taken aback. What? What did she just say?

"You're…you're a magician, why can't you bring them back? You can even pull them out of the hat and they wouldn't mind, knowing." Now, she was full blown crying and looking straight at me, smiling sadly. Crushing hope, normally I'd relish it but, she just, she…she was different somehow, and I don't know how.

"Mommy never minded cramped spaces, in fact she said they made her feel safe, so she always got the smallest bed, and daddy was the kind of guy to always be polite and grateful for everything, every day of the life he'd thank God…but where's god now HUH? Now that I need him, he's, he's, taken them away, now there's no reason for me to live anymore! I hate God! I despise him for taking everything from me!" And just like that, she stormed off, leaving an entire crowd of people, including me, stunned.

I quickly dashed after her, gently pushing my way through the crowd. "Sorry folks! Mister Mysterious~~ will be back shortly for his amazing final trick!" I shouted out, quickly running after the little child and changing into my normal non-exorcist attire instead of the tacky Magician outfit.

It didn't take long for me to reach her, but whilst I had speed she had, err, height? Sort of anyway. Since she was so shorter than me she evaded me easily, dodging me easily. "HEY! I JUST WANT TO TALK!" She just kept running.

I finally managed to get an opening, finding her up against an alley wall and simply conjured a giant flame cage to keep her from running again. Not that I was tired, but still, it was too much of a hassle.

"Can't run through walls as easily as crowds, can ya?" I remarked as I stepped closer to the cage.

"You're, you're, you're, just like…_him_. That person that…killed mommy and daddy…" I stopped in my tracks. The wheels in my head were turning, 'I was like _him_?' An Exorcist like Akuma? Or did the Noah do this? They didn't interfere yet in the future telling documents, but according to those I shouldn't even be here, so something of this calibre is to be expected.

I slowed my pace and tried to approach her calmly, I just need to calm her down and- wait, why did _I_ need to calm her down? Oh wait, right, persona. For a second there I was just going to just leave her, but if I do then there would be loose ends, such as her testimony, which might make for suspicious behaviour were it to get out that I tried to help but then simply gave up and left as the slightest hint of trouble when it's not like me to do so.

Gah, I was giving myself headaches for no reason.

But now comes the biggest problem, how do I handle a child?

I didn't ask for this, and neither did Adam Jensen.

"It's alright, I'm not going to hurt you, but what did you mean I looked like them?" I asked. Noah or Akuma, I need to know which.

"Why don't you just ask those mean people what they looked like?!" She shouted in reply, but I could tell she was crying in that cage. It was the unmistakable blue against orange in the cage that caught my attention.

I took a step closer and she shrunk back a few feet. "Please, I'm only trying to help here! Just tell me who they are or what they looked like, please? I'll get on my hands and knees and beg if it appeases you!" I pleaded.

She stuck her tongue out at me and attempted to squeeze through the bars, only for her to get stuck in-between them. "Hey! Be careful! I don't want to have to carry you to a hospital for a few broken ribs because you squeezed out of the bars! I promise you that I'm only trying to help here!" Nothing I was saying was getting through to her.

Time to pull out the hurt card if she's going to ignore me. "At least tell me your parents' names then! I want to remember them and revere them just as badly as you do!"

She stopped and turned around, hesitant to answer. "Listen, if you are so intent on hating me then let me take your grieving from you. Let me be sad, like I deserve, and then you go on with your life!"

She squeezed back inside the cage and ran straight at the front of it, where I was standing. "And what do you of my pain?"

Emmy award winning acting time! "Because, when I was 8, I lost my parents. I know your pain, I could see it on your face the second I saw your face." I said in a desperate tone. Acting classes really helped at the 2017 Black Order.

That got her to stop; she looked at me, a miasma of emotions playing across her face, surprise, grief and anger. After a long and awkward pause, she spoke again. "You may have lost your daddy and mommy too but mine were killed by-"

"-So were mine. You see this hand here?" I pulled up my sleeve and showed my Innocence arm, she gasped in surprise. "With it, I can conjure flames in physical shapes, such as that rabbit back there. But you know how I got this arm? I killed my parents for it. When I was 8, on a winter day, I woke up in the middle of the night and went into the kitchen, and then…" I gripped my arm tightly. "This, whatever kind of substance it was, leaped onto my hand when I opened the kettle, and melted the very flesh from my bones. It hurt, I'll tell you that. Anyways, at first, from the pain, I couldn't control the flames, and it burned down my house, and killed my parents as well." I finished explaining.

She put her arms across her chest and pouted angrily in one fluid motion. "Knowing what you are, you probably deserved i-"

She wasn't able to finish that sentence on account of my attempt at hitting her. I already was near my breaking point from containing anger and bloodlust, and she just HAD to make a remark like that. I unclenched my fist, and pulled my arm back through bars in shame. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped like that. It's just, how would you feel if I said that you deserved it when you're parents died?" I could see her hands tense, clasping together. She's going to hit me, isn't she?

THWACK! And just like that she hit me in the face, through the bars. "Oww~~" I moaned.

Wait, that shouldn't have hurt. That really shouldn't have hurt; I'm a Noah/Exorcist for crying out loud! I eyed her briefly, could she be…? No, no, that's preposterous. But so is time travelling.

"You know, for an 8 year old, you can hit pretty hard." I remarked.

"My daddy taught me how to properly punch when I was 7, and I just learned how to master it the day before he…" Her head drooped low, and I could tell this was going to be rough going to ask.

How do I talk to an 8 year old female me? Damn, one of the great mysterious of life I suppose.

"I understand if you don't want to talk about it, but talking about them usually helps with the grieving process. All I'm saying." Act calm and reassuring. Act calm and reassuring, just gotta do that and I'm sure I'll be fine.

"T-thanks but, why do you care? I mean, I know you said you lost your parents and all but, why would someone like you care?"

Alright, time to pry. "And just what is 'someone like me'? I am just as human as you for your information, and I won't explode and turn into a monster. Or shoot balls of purple Dark Matter at you either. Maybe." I jested.

She pouted. "It's not funny to joke about that to me."

"I'm sorry, but I'm having fun, and that's all that counts for me." I said with a smirk.

Get the joke, get the joke, get the joke…"Meanie." She said with a smallest ghost of a smile.

"Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week." I remarked.

"But why would you want to be in a dirty alleyway all week?"

Internally, I face-palmed; this era wasn't when the expression was developed then. Damn. "It's an expression. It means," Crap, what does it mean? I know where and when to say it but not how to define it! Justice Potter Stewart, eat your heart out.

"It means that I'm joking. You know, you make a remark that others aren't sure whether it's a joke or not, you'd say 'Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week' and they'd realise it's a joke. It's a less rude way of saying 'It's a joke, idiot.'" She giggled at that. Okay, despite strangling her not a minute ago, or just over it anyway, we're on good talking terms.

There was a silence in the air that was almost palpable, before she sat down, back against the bars as she began talking again. "When I meant your kind, I meant people that could summon things out of thin air. Like this one that I met that, you know, my parents, he could create this blinding light, and then my parents just, exploded. No dynamite, nothing explosive, they just, exploded."

Blinding light? An Akuma with flashbang type ability could be very, _very _lethal. But why didn't he kill her? "So, a blinding light came from a man, what did he look?" Just in case I come across him, I need to know.

She sniffled and rubbed her nose before replying. "He, he had curly hair, in an afro. Glasses, but light reflected off made it impossible to see through them. I think they were red. He had a moustache as well as a stubble. Brown hair, I think? It was dark, I couldn't see that well. He had a dark green coat on him, but it concealed a black and gold coat underneath I think. It might have been black and white but I don't know."

I tried forming a mental image of him, and created a flame clone to my right of what he supposedly looked like. Her eyes went wide with terror before I explained, "It's part of being able to conjure flame, I can make whatever I think into reality. So, were his glasses this-"The glasses in question turned bright red, and she shook her head.

"No, they were darker, and more faded." I nodded.

"This dark?"

"Yeah, but more faded."

"Got it. Okay, this faded?"

"Yep. That's his glasses alright." I could feel the fear emanating from her in waves. Maybe making her see the person who killed her parents again wasn't such a good thing.

"We can stop if you want." I said reassuringly.

"No. I have to do so this, you promise that you wanted to help me? Then help me by finding him and making him suffer like I have." Now that was dark, to think such a thing was coming from an 8 year old…but to be fair, I've said and thought far, far darker. She really is an 8 year old me.

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." I said offhandedly. Her clenched hands stopped digging into her hand and she looked at me, tears, anger and a fiery determination in them.

"Oh yeah, that's easy for you to say. You may have killed your parents accidently but someone murdered my parents! What would you do?" Isn't she just a little ball of sunshine.

"To answer honestly? I would kill them. No doubt in my mind. I would ripped them in two with all my might, and burn the corpses into something beyond ashes, _nothingness._ But that's because I'm a monster. I'm not human, not anymore, anyway. You still are, you're a child, you have Innocence (Hah, puns – _Adam_) that I don't have. You can make the choice not to hate and become a degenerate. I can't, because I've already made my choice." I know this might come back to bite me, but I need to emphasise my point. "Case and point, my best friend, I will have no choice but to destroy him in the end. Because I am a Monster and that's what Monster's. I'd kill the person who I think of as my brother because of, no, WILL kill the person who I think of as a brother because of it. Why am I saying all this? Because I'm warning you with what I should have been told so long ago. Don't hate God over what has happened, and don't hate others because of it. Hate is a cycle, a never ending cycle that should be abolished. The path I chose because of it will be littered with corpses of innocent people, I know it."

She looked at me oddly, a mixture of fear, sadness, and pity? She was being sympathetic towards me?

Her hands clenched again and blood flowed onto her fingertips. Don't focus on the blood. Don't focus on it. Damn it! Once I get a taste I won't be able to stop. I know it. Don't look at it, it's not there, don't look at it, it's not there. Focus on her face damn you!

"I'm, I'm sorry for you, really, but why don't you just stop being a Monster? Can it be that hard?"

"Yes." I replied gravely.

She looked down, "I guess I could take your advice, Mister Monster, but you don't look like a monster, so what would you know of being one?"

"Plenty. I've got the memories to prove it." I replied.

"Like what?" Can I honestly go out and tell her about being a Noah? Having the blood on my hands from my earlier years at the 2017 Black Order? I could explain, and besides, it hopefully shouldn't take too long.

"I can tell you a particularly bloody tale, if you want."

She looked at me doubtfully. "Okay then, tell about 'how you're a monster.'"

I cleared my throat. "It all began one summer evening, when I was given an assignment in Sweden-"

"An assignment? You mean like what Teachers give you?" She asked. Right, she didn't know about the Black Order.

Might as well explain. And I do. All of it, the Millennium Earl, his Akuma, and the Exorcists job to defeat him and his armies. I especially stretched how important it was that she didn't grieve so openly once the barrier that surrounded this town was gone. She said, when I mentioned that this town was on repeat, that she had memories of yesterday, November 9th. She was a mental calendar kind of girl. But she did admit that it was a little strange about how the town seemed to move exactly the same each day. This just confirmed my suspicions. The only people that should be able to negate the effect of this Innocence are its accommodator, other Exorcists, and Noah. And since I didn't sense Innocence, it was beginning to seem like the later.

So, she was a Noah, and she had a strong sense of hatred towards god. That would only be enforced once she became a Noah, although it was beginning to seem a little bit much. Why are so many people Noah? Next you're going to tell me that Komui's secretly a Double Agent working for the Earl. He's certainly crazy enough…no, no, bad thoughts! He's not an enemy! At least I hope. I need to read further into the future telling documents later.

Anyway, back to the main subject at hand, she appears to be Noah, and she's currently homeless, that blue dress is the dress that she took from her home before she was evicted on October 8th, and she's been begging for money since. The reason it was so clean was that she had to hand wash it using a nearby river just outside of town. This means she repeatedly entered and left the town. But a Noah would have to force their way through the Innocence barrier, likely being hurt in the process, unless, even dormant, her Noah gene is very, _very _strong to be to just simply completely negate the effect of Innocence of this calibre.

Chances are that in years' time, she'll become a powerful enemy, maybe, but that might just be me being paranoid. You know what, Art from Mass Vexations or that other guy from Masses to Masses was right, Paranoia DOES save lives, so I'll just be paranoid instead of the alternative. Hopefully she chooses the right path, at least that's my hope that she does. Normally, I'd just simply tell someone like her bugger off, since I am a particularly grumpy person since it's my main way of letting out my always there rage.

But, I just can't bring myself to yell at her and walk off briskly. Plus if I act out of character for even a minute it might be the end of me. So that decision has been made, along with being the ones that made you. Except that I'm not at a restaurant with her and I don't think she's a man.

"…and that's the whole situation of this world. This, secret war." I finished explaining.

"Wow, just, wow. Are you on something Mister?"

I chuckled. "I wish. If only this was just a dream, but it's not. This might make a good book though, the concept of the secret war, granted it would have to be written in such a time where it doesn't exist anymore otherwise those up high in the Black Order would prevent publishing. Ah well."

"So…"

"So what?"

"So, are you going to tell me about the 'assignment' you got for Sweden?"

If I do end up seeing her again, it might be best to simply make up something easily believable and consistent. Since I haven't technically been to Sweden, I technically will have gone to it in a hundred years' time or so. But that's only technically. Technically.

"To be truthful though, I wasn't actually on assignment from the Black Order to go there."

"Then who?"

Right. Who?

"Erm, it was a job thing. I had to go collect some inferential data for a conglomerate business move of multi-molecular height." Confuse, confound, confine. The three C's of lying.

"Um, okay, I think I understand." _No, no you don't._

Oh, Baron! What are you doing here?

_Just woke up from a nap and thought I'd see what you're doing._

I'm in your Rewinding Town Base, killin' your time.

_I see. And just who are talking to?_

Some girl. Though, I have this suspicion that she has the Noah gene.

_Why would you say that?_

She entered and exited the town several times. Only Exorcist or Noah could do that. Well, possible Akuma, if they are strong enough.

_How do you know she isn't an Akuma?_

Simple. She cried.

_Tears of what?_

Sadness.

…_I see. You know, it's theoretically possible that she's an Akuma. Or will become one, anyway._

And why would you say that?

_An Akuma simply lives inside of a human body, it doesn't disrupt it otherwise._

So the tear glands would be intact.

_Precisely. And I should know. I made them. Sort of._

Sort of?

_Long story, I'll explain some other time._

Looking forward to it.

_Back to her being a potential Akuma though, it's possible._

If the Millennium Earl was going to do it then he would have, Baron. I think it's the barrier that's preventing him from hearing whatever single he tracks from grieving people. I have no doubt he would be able to force his way in here if he wanted.

_But what if he does know?_

Pardon?

_What if the younger me knows she's grieving, but is ignoring her for something else?_

Are you implying that he is busy with personal matters?

_Yes. Most likely._

What could the Earl of the Millennium be doing that could obstruct so much of his time?

_Usually, I'm taking calls from Brokers, overseeing the construction of new Akuma with the Skulls, playing with Rhode, or using the afore mentioned constructed Akuma to make new Level 1 Akuma._

Okay, but wouldn't grieving take precedence over everything else? That's another killer machine made with each one, if I was you, I'd be overworking the crap out of the skulls to make Akuma, and then go ahead and make as many as possible.

_That's what the old me did, working the Skulls to the bone, err, no pun intended, making Akuma. And in turn made many Akuma as fast as possible._

What is it like to make an Akuma?

_What do you mean?_

What it is like, to stand there, lying through your teeth, taking advantage of someone who's weak? What is the sensation you get when they call out the name of the loved one, and are effectively screwed over because of it? 'Cuz it sounds laughable, honestly.

_You're a dark person, aren't you?_

Yep. Your point?

_I like that in a servant._

Who you callin' servant, Old man?

_Who you callin' Old, child?_

Who you callin' child, Old man?

_Who you callin' Old, boy?_

Who you callin' boy, Brony?

…_You did not just stoop so low as to make fun of me for watching MLP: FIM._

Just did.

_I hate you forever now._

Good for you.

_Anytime._

DAMN IT!

And just like that the door slammed again and I was left annoyed at the bantering of him. Asshole.

But he's my asshole, that's how I see it, anyway.

The little child from earlier was giving me odd looks for zoning out for so long to speak to the Baron. Crap, think of a lie, think of a lie, think of a lie…

"I apologise, but I was just thinking. What was your question again?"

"What were you thinking about?"

"Stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

"Important stuff."

"And weren't you going to tell me a story?"

"Right. I was, anyway, so during my job in working for, err, a large wine manufacturing company; I was the right hand assistant of the top guy, since he needed someone young and fit to take errands. I used to work for him, but I lost my job the month before I joined the Black Order."

"What was it called?"

"Don't remember actually, I think it was something about fish? Shark? Something of that genre."

"What did you do as his assistant?"

I paused, right, assistant, assistant, assistant, oh! Assistant!

"I delivered important merchant agreement's to people all over the globe. Trade agreements, you know, signed letters that say 'we agree to buy from you for our products' and stuff." Not entirely false about trade agreements, as an Exorcist we did trade things for Innocence, that something being words with the person who had it and then we took it as payment for our valuable time being wasted.

"Really?" She was giddy now.

"Yes, really."

"So are you going to tell me about your 'assignment' from the wine guy thingy?"

"Yes, hold your horses. I'm getting to it. You are such an impatient little girl, aren't you?"

"No, I have patience, you just it wasted by explaining everything."

I chuckled. "Yeah, sure, of course. So, of course, what happened was-"

My head felt like a thousand horses were kicking the interior of it and trying to bust out of it.

"AHHHHH! MY HEAD!" I screamed out, clutching my face. It hurt. Pain, it was painful beyond belief, beyond description. Nothing could define this, nothing. No word in any language ever could describe just how painful this was, unless one word in one language combined everything that meant pain together and then you might get the feeling.

Look at me, wise-cracking when my head (Which is why I'm wise) feels as if it actually IS cracking.

And then, it was replaced by a pleasant, soothing sensation, like that of when I burned myself alive and my Innocence repaired my skin and became heavily woven into it.

My fingers were clutching my forehead so tightly my fingers were digging into it, and had peeled away entire sections of my skin. There was now blood pouring down my face, and onto my hands.

For anyone who's ever had any forms of addiction, imagine if what you were addicted too and trying oh so hard to not take it/drink it/use it/whatever kind of action you could do with it and all of a sudden it was flowing down your face and onto your hands. That kind of painful temptation was overflowing everything else I felt right. Just one lick, one lick and you can go back to never having blood again. One lick. One. Lick.

NO! I can't, I can't! Not again, those people…without warning, a fog descends upon my vision, making things harder to see. This almost looks like the effect that happens in Halo 3 when Grave mind speaks to you…

_Y_**O**_U_**C**_A_**N**_'_**T**_D_**E**_N_**Y****M**_E_**F**_O_**R**_E_**V**_E_**R**_,__E_**X**_O_**R**_C_**I**_S_**T**_._ (And it sounds like him, nearly anyway, to boot. -_ Adam_)

What the- what the hell was that noise? It sounded like it came from…nowhere, just thoughts. Somehow.

_I_**A**_M_**N**_O_**W**_H_**E**_R_**E**_A_**N**_D_**Y**_E_**T**_E_**V**_E_**R**_Y_**W**_H_**E**_R_**E**_. I_**A**_M_**Y**_O_**U**_A_**N**_D_**Y**_E_**T**_N_**O**_T_**Y**_O_**U**, _A_**D**_A_**M**_. _(I already have enough metaphorical dipshits in my head, thank you. - _Adam_)

What the hell are you? Show yourself, unless you're, chicken.

_W_**E**_A_**R**_E _**Y**_O_**U**. (Shut up, Elizabeth Greene. - _Adam_)

We? We being? Don't tell me your part of the Village People! I don't want gay people in my slightly bi-curious mind! No homo! Phobia!

_J_**O**_K_**E **_T_**H**_E_**N**_. W_**H**_E_**N **_Y_**O**_U_** G**_I_**V**_E _**I**_N _**W**_E_** W**_I_**L**_L_** M**_E_**E**_T_** A**_G_**A**_I_**N**_._ (Not until you're complete again, Beelzebub. - _Adam_)

BOOM HEADSHOT, BOOM HEAD SHOT. I could dance all day, I could dance all day, try n' hit me, try n' hit me, come on! BOOM HEADSHOT YAAAAA!

With that, the fog on my eyes disappeared, and things were back to normal. That was, weird. Very weird. No, that was like being mentally raped with a screw-driver. So excuse me for second.

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK FUCKFUFKCUFKCUFKCUFKCUFKCUKF UCKFRUCKFUFKUCKFUFKFUCKFUFRK CUFKUKTUFKFCKFUFUFKFUCKFUFKC UFKFUCKFUCKUKFUCKFUFKFUCKFUF KFUKCUFUFKCUFKDCUKUCKUKFUCKU KCUFKCUFKUCFKUCKFUCKFCKUFKU.

_What did I say about your teenage hormones?_

SHUT UP BARON!

_Okeydokey._

Now that the profanity stage is out of the way, that was weird. Though, that thing felt like it was trying to 'grab' my mind, however I can describe it, that's what it felt like.

Meeting the concerned gaze of the little girl, I realised that my wounds had healed and stopped bleeding, but something was wrong, otherwise she wouldn't be staring at me like that.

"Mister Monster sir, why are your eyes like that? Why is your forehead like that? How did you heal your wounds that quickly?" Oh for Pete's sake shut up! Just shut up! My head is throbbing so just shut the fu- whoa, whoa, were did that anger come from? Wait, Noah 'evolution', duh.

Captain Picard, you can facepalm now.

I sighed, strangely, this is actually convenient, at least now I can tell her what kind of things happen if you seek revenge and just lie and tell her what just happened to me now. That should work, nothing like Iscariot to inspire the fear of God in its people.

"That was more or less what happens when you become a Monster. You can practically feel the wrath of god burn into your skull, and trust me, it HURTS." I wasn't kidding when I said it hurt, nothing like the truth amongst lies to make them seem more genuine.

She cringed. "Is that why you have crosses in your forehead?"

"What?" Was my instant reply. I touched my forehead, and true enough crosses were engraved into my forehead. But these weren't the regular crosses, oh no, these were…

'Stigmata' I silently mouthed. I believe another profanity is in order.

SHIT.

* * *

_**~IN ANOTHER PLACE AT ROUGHLY THE SAME TIME~**_

* * *

"You can't, Mistress Rhode! Bad, bad!"

Poor little umbrella Golem, his pleas go unheard against the Ice Queen. In other words, 'dat bitch.

That's to be expected though, since he's (Does it even have a gender? – _Adam_) speaking to Rhode Kamelot, the Noah of Dreams, and one bloodthirsty daughter of a bitch.

"The Earl is not going to be pleased if you skip school to do whatever you want." Yeah, she doesn't care Umbrella buddy. So just go back to rest of the Captain Planet crew, m'kay 'heart'? You can go suck on Fire's ass for all that Rhode cares.

Speaking of 'off' teenagers, (Y'all totally know what I mean. If that Asian isn't a Lesbian I don't know what is – _Adam_) Rhode replied, "Shut up. Be quiet, Umbrella." Told ya so, Umbrella.

The Umbrella's next attempt at pleading was so pathetic that mentioning it would probably cause my fingers to simply implode and explode inside of themselves at a molecular level. In short, total Protonic Reversal.

"Let me go…" You know what I said about pathetic? Miranda takes that cake and fucking eats it in the time it takes for her start crying. Which is always. Therefore, she has already eaten the cake before it even existed. MIRANDACEPTION.

It was only right for Rhode to act like a bitch in retaliation, no? "If you die, I'll let you go."

If I was there, the first thing that would have come out my mouth would have been "LOLWUT"

But alas, I was not. And now, the joke will remain unsaid, but when brothers wage war come unfurled, Alduin bane of kings, Ancient shadow unbound, with a hunger to swallow the world. Of course.

* * *

_**~SOMEPLACE ELSE AGAIN~**_

* * *

Great. Just fantastic, the stigmata is now in a nearly constant pattern of revealing itself in my forehead, my forehead then feeling like it's being cut out with a knife, and when it's done, the Innocence in my skin just heals it and it feels quite pleasant. I have another minute before it comes again after that each time, I stopped screaming the third time it happened.

Speaking of which. FUCKFUCKFUCKCUFKCUFKCUFKCUFK CUFKCUFKCUKFUCK. Hey, I used less mental profanity this time, sweet! My pain tolerance just levelled up to FUCKING PAINFUL. Ooooh, and I actually levelled up too, now I can choose a new perk, let's see, OH GOD MY FOREHEAD HURTS, IT HURTS SOMEBODY HELP ME OH GOD, or FUCKING ASSWHORE MY FOREHEAD FEELS LIKE THE SKIN IS BEING SHAVED OFF. The last one grants me a plus 2 mace from Futurama. Fan-tastic.

I wonder if it also grants me ability to make others say "SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!"

I have a plus two mace, your argument is invalid.

"You know, this is starting to hurt." I attempted laughing and it ended up sounding like I was dying. Feels like it too, anyway.

"Are you okay Mister Monster sir? I can get you to a hospital if you need to go." Man, I can't say no to those eyes.

So I reject them instead, simple. "No, that's not necessary, I'll be fine. It'll pass. Hopefully. You know, I never caught you're name."

She smiled, but it was clear that it was strained. "It's Daniela. It's Italian, it means-"

"-God is my judge, yes, I know. I'm probably the only one who gets the joke that comes with it though, regarding your situation, but before I go on a tangent, my names Adam Phoenix Millennium. And yes, it's an awkward last name for an Exorcist." I interrupted.

There was a silence where we both decided what to do. "Your head is still bleeding." She stated, breaking the tension.

"Oh, right. Forgive me shirt." I ripped a small piece of my clothing off and tied it around my forehead. There, done and done. "But that was necessary. I'll need to visit a tailor after this." I said absent-minded.

She tugged on my arm as I stood up, "I may not have known you for long Mister Monster sir, but can you take me with you? I have nowhere else to go." She pleaded. She sounded just as desperate as she looked. Oh, damn it, I can't say no to that face!

I closed my eyes and sighed. "Unfortunately, I can't take you with me. I'm sorry, but what I do as an Exorcist is beyond dangerous, it's suicide, on a daily basis. At any moment I could die, and I don't want you under that kind of pressure." I said, trying to sound concerned. "But, I can take you to the nearest foster home. Unless your parents had relatives…?" I said.

"I do, but they're mean. Aunt Beryl is mean, she constantly picks on me, and her daughters, Crystal and Carol, are fat and stupid. They hate me, and Uncle is mean too. Fergus, my Uncle, is a thief. I don't want to go with them." I have the distinct feeling that I know her from somewhere, but I'm not sure.

"I see, that is quite the predicament. Although, I'm wondering something. You seem…familiar somehow. What is your last name, Mrs Daniela?"

She sniffed, blinking back tears. "It's Edgley. Daniela Edgley." Damn it! I know the last name from somewhere, but where?

Sighing once more and saying a silent prayer that things will be all right, I said, "I really am sorry, but I can't take you with me. I'll be leaving now, please don't follow me, and just go to your relatives. If it helps, I can tell that you are destined for great things, they aren't. Pity you're Aunt, cousins and Uncle. They will die for no reason and with most certainly no legacy to give. It is more or less the ultimate punishment to not be important, to have no reason for living. Think of how you are feeling now, minus the grief of your parents loss and that's how your Aunt Uncle and cousins probably feel." I reassured, before I got up, turned around, and walked away.

I walked a distance I thought was suitable and stopped, realising that I had no clue where I was going. Really should have decided on a direction and location beforehand…now I'm Lost, minus the confusing plot.

Great. If I had a UI, things would be so much easier. A minimap would be nice, fantastic even. Although, I probably would need questaid or whatever that WoW app was. Something to narrow my quest down to a circle would be nice.

Crap, if I'm the mage, then Lenalee's the Rogue, Allen's the Paladin. I think. Or would he be the Warrior?

_Don't forget me. I'd be the Sith Sorcerer, the mage DPS._

NO ONE CARES ABOUT SWTOR BARON!

_Well I'm sorry if I was expressing my opinion, servant._

Who you callin' servant, Old man?

_Who you callin' Old, child?_

Who you callin' child, Brony?

_Who you callin' Brony, Boy?_

Who you callin' Boy, Lucas dick sucker?

_You did not stoop that low._

I didn't; you did.

_Ah! Walked right into that one…_

No, I'd say hobbled, because 'slow down baby take a little longer' were Lucas' words exactly.

_Now you're just being transparent._

I'm not crazy, you're crazy!

_Hey, Vegeta-_

SHUT UP GHOST NAPPA YOU'RE NOT HELPING!

_Is it that time of the month again?_

I don't know, you tell me. In fact, I think you're late Earl, are you pregnant?!

_No, but YO MOMMA IS._

You leave my mother out of this!

_Yo momma so fat, that when she sits at the movie theatre, bitch sits next everybody._

Yeah, well YO MOMMA'S so tardy she'd be late for her own funeral!

_YO MOMMA's so stupid she trips over a wireless ether net cord!_

YO MOMMA's so fat that when people kill her in Call of Duty they get an AC-130 instantly.

_YO MOMMA's so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors._

YO MOMMA's so stupid she tried to put her m&m's in alphabetical order.

_YO MOMMA's so stupid she got locked in a mattress store and slept on the floor._

YO MOMMA's so stupid she thinks taco bell is a Mexican phone company!

_YO MOMMA's so old I told her to act her own age and she died!_

YO MOMMA's so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper!

_YO MOMMA's so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes!_

YO MOMMA's so old her social security number is 1!

_YO MOMMA's so old her birth certificate is in Roman Numerals!_

YO MOMMA's so dirty she has to creep up on bathwater!

_YO MOMMA's so dirty that you can't tell where the dirt stops and she begins!_

YO MOMMA's head is so big it shows up on radar!

_YO MOMMA's house is so dirty she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside!_

YO MOMMA's so fat that she is the only sacrifice required to make a Philosopher's stone!

_YO MOMMA's so ugly she makes Ishi after being turned into a cyborg look handsome!_

YO MOMMA's so slutty her pants have a droprate of 100%!

_YO MOMMA's so slutty, she's just like Karl Marx's view on socio-economics; every worker gets a share!_

YO MOMMA's so slutty she serves more requests than http!

_YO MOMMA's so fat that the escape velocity at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 M/S!_

YO MOMMA's so fat; I need _two _Pokeflutes to wake her ass!

_YO MOMMA's so fat her patronus is a cake!_

YO MOMMA's so ugly my patronus is a paper bag!

_YO MOMMA's so fat, the Sorting Hat from Harry Potter sorted her into the House of Pancakes!_

YO MOMMA's so fat her wand is a slim Jim!

_YO MOMMA's so fat she started popping buttons off her shirt and beads off her necklace at the dinner table was all "Vernon! Vernon do something!" and then she floated out of the French doors and your uncle was all "aghhhhhhh"!_

YO MOMMA's so ugly the basilisk looked at her and it died!

_YO MOMMA's so nasty the headless hunt goes around her!_

Oh my god, this is my favourite conversation in human history.

_I keep making up 'ugly' ones…but whatever, here goes:  
YO MOMMA's so ugly her Room of Requirement is the inside of a paper bag!_

YO MOMMA's so smelly her spot on the Marauder's Map is scratch and sniff!

_YO MOMMA's so big she has to apparate in sections!_

YO MOMMA's so fat she has the Goblet of Gravy!

_YO MOMMA's so fat when she joined the Death Eaters they changed their name to the Ham Eaters!_

YO MOMMA's so fat; she has a mumu of invisibility!

_YO MOMMA's so fat she puts her belt on with a boomerang._

Left directional arrow now wants to join the Ham Eaters.

_You'll have to swear your allegiance to Vealdemort first._

YO MOMMA is so fat it takes two warlock portals to summon her!

_I tried doing YO MOMMA, but it said Instance is Full._

YO MOMMA is so ugly that Princess Theradras is afraid to look at her!

_YO MOMMA's so fat that Chain Lightning hits her three times!_

YO MOMMA's so fat her 4pc set bonus was fries and a coke!

_YO MOMMA's so fat a DK tried to use Deathgrip and got a Hernia!_

YO MOMMA's so fat that Deathwing had to reinforce his Jaw to be able to bite her in 1 bite!

_YO MOMMA's my mount._

YO MOMMA's so fat she sat on Gilneas and sank it into the sea!

_YO MOMMA's so fat the titan's use her as a bowling ball, and Ulduar's formation ground is the lane!_

YO MOMMA's so fat when we buff her kings Northrend sinks 3 metres!

_YO MOMMA's such a skank they even banned her from Goldshire!_

YO MOMMA's so stupid she DID send daughters when they asked for sons!

_YO MOMMA's so fat at level 18 she learns Aspect of the Whale!_

YO MOMMA's so stupid, she died because she forgot how to breathe!

_YO MOMMA's so stupid she attacks Shadowrend wearing the best armour in Oblivion!_

YO MOMMA's so slow, if she makes a potion from Deathbell and salt, she speeds up!

_YO MOMMA's so stupid; she makes restore health potions with Nightshade!_

YO MOMMA grows a beard for the Nordic winters!

_YO MOMMA's so fat a giant tried to herd her!_

YO MOMNA's so fat the Elder Council mistook her for a Tenth Divine!

_YO MOMMA's so fat that when she tripped and fell to the ground, the event was recorded in history as the Great Collapse!_

YO MOMMA's so stupid when she went past the barriers on the edges of Big MT she didn't pass out!

_YO MOMMA's so dirty she had to wipe her feet off before leaving the vault!_

YO MOMMA's so ugly she made the Falmer blind!

_YO MOMMA's so fat that she loads in chunks!_

YO MOMMA's so buoyant that even without water walking enchantments she still floats in Lava!

_YO MOMMA's so ugly even Raiders wouldn't hit that!_

YO MOMMA's so oblivious she didn't know the code to activate the water purifier was 216!

_YO MOMMA's so stupid she didn't realise her dad was missing until she found him outside the vault!_

YO MOMMA's so stupid she thinks the Capital Wasteland is Los Angelos!

_YO MOMMA's so fat, Death the Kidd needs to connect all three lines of Sanzu in order to destroy her fat ass!_

YO MOMMA's so fat, Maka needs to use her wings to get around her!

_YO MOMMA's so fat that she was the staircase the Kishin used to reach the moon!_

YO MOMMA's so fat that Kratos mistook her for a boss!

_YO MOMMA's so fat that the Mad blood sphere Crona used to destroy that one town wouldn't be big enough to hold her!_

YO MOMMA's so fat that there was an entire section in the simple book about killing people dedicated to her!

_YO MOMMA's so stupid and slutty that she got a negative 69 on her Super Written Exam!_

YO MOMMA's-

Before I could continue the chain, I became aware that I was walking around town aimlessly, with someone following me. (**AN:** **That section of this entire chapter is my favourite. Can you figure out why?)**

I turned around and saw a very familiar girl wearing a blue-dress following me. "You don't give up, do you?" I sighed. What do to, what do to…

She shrugged and stood beside me. "No. My dad always said it was my 'Edgley family spirit' that made me as resilient as I am. He said that, and I quote, "Son" he thought I was a boy for a stretch of time by the way, "You have the famous Edgley spirit running through you and with that spirit, you'll be unstoppable! Nothing that life can through at you will stop an Edgley; anything's possible for an Edgley!" It sounded so stupid then, but now, I wish I had his spirit to help me." She looked down sadly. DAMN IT! STOP MAKING ME PITY YOU! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO ADORABLE?!

"Sounds like an interesting man." I replied. She smiled and giggled.

"You don't know the half of it. He was always mischievous, kind of a slacker, but he would do anything for us, for me and mom, to make us happy, and if that meant going to work he said that he should be proud. Every day that he has a use is a day worth living." She looked up at me. "That's what he said but, I don't have a purpose anymore, is life still worth living?"

I paused in my steps, both because I was unsure how to answer her and because I was still lost and none of the buildings look familiar to me. God damn it, curse you, memories! Actually, that's incredibly Ironic.

But still, I'm lost, and I don't have a pipboy to check for a map. WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO LOOK THE DAMN SAME?! GRR! I have half a mind to simply fly up above the town and wait for either Allen 'n' Lenalee to find me or the Akuma to find me.

Actually, why don't I? I glanced behind me and looked straight at Daniela. If I flew, she wouldn't be able to follow me. I sighed, alright; I guess I'm leaving her. But damn it why does the thought sadden me that I'm leaving her to those people that she calls Aunt and Uncle? I shook my head. No need to think like that.

I stopped moving, and I swear I've just walked in a giant circle. GOD DAMN IT WHY? WHY GOD WHY?!

Making a flame platform, I stepped on and turned around. But before Daniela could step on I made the platform float- with me on it- into the sky, leaving the child behind.

I was halfway there to the highest point I could go without hitting the ceiling when I gazed back at the child. I observed her eyes and felt regret instantly. Aw hell, why, god, why do I have to care about her too? I closed my eyes and formulated a wall to hit in frustration, before lowering the platform back to the ground level.

"Relax, I was only kidding. Can't take a joke, can you?" I said with a smirk as I finally reached the ground floor, with a thud.

She pouted. "Meanie." Was her short reply before sitting on the platform with me.

Just as I reached the top of the dome, she eyed me, and asked "How do you do this?"

"Pardon?"

"I mean, how do you live the life of an Exorcist? You walk like you have a big burden and all that much I can tell, but how do you do it? How do you do it when whenever you look in the mirror you see something worse than that which you hunt?"

This gave me pause. I am a smidge of a self-loather, and a Misanthrope, so how do I do it? By all accounts, I should be having a gun to my head at this point, or a lake of blood…I shook my head again. No need to dwell on that vision again.

"Honestly? It's all about how you move on. Forgive and forget works for _some,_ but not all. If you're the type that openly tells yourself, 'it's okay, I'm fine, I don't resent anyone for this', when you do, that'll only cause your rage to grow. Sometimes slowly, and sometimes quickly. Like me, I used to say, 'I'm good, nothing is wrong with me, I forgive god' when in my heart I knew that I hate him." Heh, but I didn't tell her that recognising the problem isn't even _close _to solving it.

"And now?"

"And now, I'm a monster. Your anger will make you a worse person, trust me." I said darkly.

The platform reached just about the highest we could go, I told her that, and we sat, and waited.

I wonder what Allen is doing right now…probably trying to put the moves on Lenalee. No, no Adam, Allen isn't that kind of guy. Don't get paranoid.

* * *

_**~What Allen Is Doing Right Now (Really)~**_

* * *

"Ice fire!" The magma faced Akuma shouted.

Allen was hit by a massive stream of Ice fire, and went down like a sack of rocks.

"ALLEN!" Lenalee worriedly shouted.

And now, the Akuma were closing in on her. Three against one, and now Lenalee was in for the fight of her life. Sort of. But her last thoughts before everything goes black, is, 'I hope Adam's okay. At least, he'll survi- BLEH *DYING NOISE*'.

* * *

_**~What Adam is Doing Right Now (Also really)~**_

* * *

It's taking longer than I thought it would for either my friends or my foes to find me. So I've been up here for about, say, 10 minutes? And neither of them have looked up. Just how often do people look up?

I looked up now and saw the sky, staring back at me, before returning my gaze back to the town. Man, this is boring. If only someone or something would try and find me.

* * *

_**~Cue Person Giving Orders To Find The Remaining Exorcist (NYAH!)~**_

* * *

"Bring the last Exorcist to me. I have… some unfinished business with him. If I can't get to his memories in my own world, then this world will have to suffice."

Basically, Rhode was ordering for yours truly's head on a platter, telling the Akuma to find me and bring me to her. If I was there, I would have thought a cuss was in order.

* * *

_**~Back To Our Favourite Self Loather (YAY!)~**_

* * *

I sneezed. Now, normally I'm not the superstitious type, but I get the feeling that I should trust that someone is talking about me somewhere else in the world.

I relaxed back into my laying down position; I might as well get comfortable. I saw the child next to me getting drowsy too.

I just need to not fall asleep, if I do, there's a nasty way down to go, one where I'm sure the child wouldn't survive.

Just resting my eyes, that isn't sleeping, isn't it? I closed my eyes, just resting my eyes. No falling asleep. It's actually pretty comfortable, but maybe that's because the texture of the platform is similar to a bed. That might have something to do with it. I almost am reminded of Halo, what with the Halo 3 trailer where part of it shows Master Chief laying down in a field of grass, and there is someone else there too. Only, I don't have nearly the same amount of luck as him, nor do I have a somewhat likeable AI in my head. Instead, I have a fat, annoying, Brony in my head. Well that, and what I'm willing to guess is some kind of embodiment of my animalistic hunger made real due by Noah-ness.

Or maybe it isn't real and I'm simply crazy.

Man, in real life, the plot twists suck ass.

Why can't it turn out that the Innocence I'm wielding is actually the key to a superweapon capable of annihilating all life and then there's like a Mass Effect Renegade and paragon choice between using it to destroy all other Innocence or ruling over the world with an iron fist?

Wait a second. All other Innocence. If I remember correctly, Allen Walker made explicitly sure to destroy all the Innocence the Black Order had collected. Granted, he wasn't Allen, he was the 14th, but still, why? What would he gain? The Earl could destroy us anytime, so why not? Is there something about Innocence that the Earl knows that we don't?

_Yep._

Baron?

_Yes, I, him and you know something about Innocence that others don't, you simply have to wait until all my memories resurface. Granted though, that would mean you would be overwritten once they do, but so far, you only remember the hundred years after my death, correct?_

Yes, I do.

_But you also remember the name of Rhode Kamelot somehow. Don't you think that's suspicious somehow?_

Actually, that _is _suspicious. Very suspicious. Any thoughts on the matter, Baron? You're the most Noah out of all of us. Well, that was a voice that spoke to me like it was my animalistic bloodthirsty-ness so I'll just call him bob.

_Animalistic voice? Interesting. You must be dealing with the Noah Instincts face to, err, mind. Also, I have a theory, a dumb one, but still a theory._

I'm all ears. And Noah Instincts, really, Baron? Seems a little pulling out of ass worthy.

_Yes. Quite. Back to the matter at hand though, my theory, is that you somehow have met Rhode Kamelot and just don't realise it._

Fair theory. But whilst I think it has merit, Rhode Kamelot dies during the second uprising against the Millennium Earl with the 14th leading the charge.

_Oh? Does she now? Pic or it didn't happen. I know Rhode, and the 9__th__ apostle, they are equally hard to kill._

…Come to think of it, I never saw it myself, just heard that afterwards it was given a proper funeral from the other Noah…do you think Sheryl Kamelot, given his position pulled some strings, err, no pun intended, to make it seem like she died?

_I wouldn't doubt it for a second that her adoptive father would do something like that. If you remember the court room, he mentioned his daughter, in the context that she was alive._

So, somehow, somewhere, I've met Rhode Kamelot in the future and will soon be meeting her in the past. Present. Whichever one it is.

_That's my two cents, servant._

Servant? WHO YOU CALLIN' SERVANT OLD MAN!?

_Who you callin' Old, child?_

Who you callin' child, Brony?

_Who you callin' Brony, Boy?_

Who you callin' boy, Lucas dick sucker?

_I ask you to respect your elders-_

HA! YOU JUST CALLED YOURSELF OLD! I WIN MOTHERFUCKAAAA!

…_Why do I even bother…_

I yawned, and could feel slightly drowsy. Man, arguing with the Baron can take a lot out of me. I unwound into the comfortable platform, feeling myself slip a smidge closer to sleep.

"Good morning, Daniela. And in case I don't see you, good afternoon, good evening, and good night." I said absentmindedly.

"G'night." I could hear her mumble in reply.

And before I realised it, I was asleep.

* * *

_**~TELEPORT TO THE MAGICAL LAND OF WONDERS (I.E THE INSIDE OF ADAM'S MIND{OR IS IT?/EVEN REAL IN THE FIRST PLACE?})~**_

* * *

Ow…what the hell? Why does my forehe- oh right Stigmata, for a second there I thought I had taken a blow to the head.

Uh, Baron, Baron any clue where I am? Err, Baron? BARON? GOD DAMN IT BARON STOP IRGNORING ME!

The grass beneath me was moist, and the air was fresh with a very familiar scent. The wind carried with it the sound of flames, and the bright light was hurting my eyes.

I sighed, great, no clue where I am, this place is on fire, and it's, wait, this, it's, familiar…my mind imploded and exploded at the same time repeated for the next few seconds as the answer ran through my mind.

This place. It's, oh god, this place. It's, the town that I destroyed, on that assignment to Sweden. Oh god no, and it's still only partly destroyed! I have to help them! Save someone at least!

I ran down from the hill I was on and towards the front end of the village. This was the place where I met the man guarding the gate, and he let me in, such a nice man…but he was also an Akuma, and I destroyed him the instant I saw him change.

Past him, was the family of 5 that I couldn't save because another Akuma burst out of the building beside the gate and started shooting bullets everywhere.

The Akuma's rubble remained there, burned all over from when I shot a fireball at it and it went up in flames. Then, after that, thing started getting crazy. Blood flowed all over the town. On the floor, over the people, even me. Hence why blood came into contact with my tongue.

So many innocents were killed, by my own hands at the time. I made giant swords and cut the houses in half, paranoid that another one would come out, only to murder all the tall people in the town. The police men came and tried desperately to stop me, but there bullets ricocheted of my flame shield harmlessly, and then I cut them to ribbons using the Claws from [PROTOTYPE]. Their corpses were still laying here, cut in half, with fear permanently plastered on their faces. Only one of them had an absolute look of defiance.

I wasn't in my right mind at the time. It was my first mission alone, and things just went badly. I lost control of whatever kind of animalistic bloodlust existed within me, and I murdered just as many Akuma as I did people. Women. Children.

Children! If memory serves correctly then the next thing that happens is…I used all my power to rush towards the house at the far end of the street. I need to save at least _them._

I burst into the house just as the husband of the family grabbed the gun from under his bed and attempted to shoot me, as I heard gunshots up in the bed room. I sprinted up the stairs; family photo's burning, material objects crushing under heel.

I got up there the split second before the past me impaled the husband on a pipe, and remarked, "Let off some steam."

That worked better in my head at the time…but never mind that, I needed to stop him, I followed after him as he ran down the hallway, blowing open the doors with solid punches and kicks, even going so far as to use a fire axe and say, "Heeeeeere's JOHHNY!" At one point. I managed to reach him just as he turns the door knob of the final door at the end of the hallway, and made an attempt to grab the old me before the doors opens. But I missed, and fell flat on my face. He moved out of the way at the last second! I hate it when NPC's do that in video games…back to the matter at hand though, the old me had managed to ready the butcher cleaver and was about to swing it down, when I jumped in front of him.

"Listen! You don't have to do this! Snap out of it, Adam! Stay focused! Look what that bloodlust has done to you! Wake up! WAKE, UP! STO-" But my voice is ignored as the Butcher Cleaver comes down straight on my head…

…And passes through me. Dafuq? I looked below me, and saw the blood coming from the mother and daughter I murdered all those years ago. I looked up, and saw the crazed look in my eye, the smiling face, the blood soaked face and hair, and me licking the blood off of the cleaver, laughing as I go. "MY VENGEANCE WILL NEVER BE SATIATED!" The old me remarks before walking off, to murder the rest of the town no doubt.

I fell to my knees. I couldn't save them. I couldn't. I failed them, again. I smack my fist into the ground as hard as I could and my hand hurt from it. I grinded my knuckles into the ground in anger.

"FUCK YOU GOD, HUMANITY! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO CREATE ME! A BEAST WITH MANY BURDENS TO BEAR, WHY KIND OF SADISTIC FUCKS ARE YOU? HUH? WHY ME?! WHY ME!? WHY DID I HAVE TO BE BLOODTHIRSTY!? WHY?! ANSWER ME! GOD, THE DEVIL, OR YOU! ANSWER ME! GIVE ME A REASON THAT I EXIST LIKE THIS! WHY?! WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Y!?" My fist barraged the ground until I swear I could feel them break. But I didn't care. Why, why, why, why?

"WHY DID I HAVE TO BE AN EXORCIST?! OR A NOAH!? WHY DO I HAVE TO MURDER MY SECOND CHANCE AT HAVING A BROTHER!? WHY DID MY PARENTS DIE BECAUSE OF ME!? ANSWER ME! TELL ME, WHY?! WHY ME!? WHY DO I LIVE!? WHY HAVEN'T YOU MADE GOOD ON YOUR PROMISE AND STRUCK ME DOWN!? YOU KNOW I'M WAITING! WELL GO ON! KILL ME! DO IT! DO IT NOW! KILLLLLL MEEEEEEEeeeeeee…" My screams became muffled beneath my tears. And for the first time, in a long time, I allowed myself to release my emotions, and cry and cry until my sobbing turned into furious screams of anger, and finally into diabolical laughter.

Laugh was funny like that.

* * *

_**~BACK IN THE MAGICAL LAND OF REAL LIFE (OR WAS IT REAL IN THE FIRST PLACE?)~ (And I know, the last sentence's pun hurt's)**_

* * *

Ow…why is my head- oh right, Stigmata. Why do I keep forgetting that? I looked up, expecting to see the sky, and see a starless sky.

Huh, didn't think that the light pollution would be that bad in this day and age. I tried to brush my hair back on top of my head only to find out I'm bound. Or rather, nailed.

I looked at my arms and saw that my right arm had been completely encased in some kind Innocence sealing seals, going by the markings. Those clever bastards…but who are said bastards? Surely this isn't a dream and I'm just saying some sick S&M fantasy or whatever.

…_ADAM! YOU'RE HERE! WHERE ON EARTH DID YOU GO!_

What? Where did I go? I. I'm not sure what you mean. I had a dream of the town I destroyed, I think.

_But your consciousness left your body! When the Akuma came, I couldn't control you and defend you so I had to act asleep!_

My consciousness left what now?

_You heard me! Your body! Your mind, your _soul_ somehow detached from your body and left for somewhere else! Do you realise how hard it is to make myself snore so loud?!_

Ooookay. That sounds unlikely, I'm sure all I had was a dream, but was it something more?

"Ad…dam." That was Miranda's voice. Now where is she…I looked around, expecting to find her captive and seeing just as I imagined, her crying like a bitch. You know, it'd be easy to remain calm in these kinds of situations IF YOU WEREN'T CRYING!

Yeah, Baron, we can chat as much as we want later. Busy right now. Life 'n' death and stuff C*CKS IN MY MOUTH.

_Okay then. 1 sec, editing Skype._

Yeah, Baron, we can chat as much as we want later. Busy right now. Life 'n' death and currently I'm stuffing C*CKS IN MY MOUTH.

FUCK YOU BARON!

And with that shout said, he Fus-ro-left. I took to examining my surroundings.

I blinked, realising that I remembered this place somehow. It does look familiar…especially that figure over there by the giant fi- I stiffened. That's Rhode Kamelot, I think.

I believe a cuss is in order.

"Shit." I said under my breath.

This was certainly unexpected. I mean, yes, I _knew _about the abducting part, but still, I didn't really expect it even so.

Looking around again, I noticed the Akuma nailing Allen to the wall is onto his fourth spike in. Huh, how long was I out I wonder.

Mustering up courage, I looked back over at the bonfire, and shouted, "HEY! LITTLE BITCH! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

The little bitch in question turned around, and frowned. "Such a filthy mouth, maybe you need to learn some manners." Candles appeared plot conveniently around me, one candle for what appeared to be every joint in my body.

"I just want to know what little miss torture is doing here, no need for violence. Unless you like it that rou- OW! FOR GODS SAKE IT WAS A JOKE!" As you can probably tell, she stabbed me in the arm part way through.

The Akuma on the wall just started on the fifth spike as I began talking again. "All I want to know is what you want with me. A name might help my address you better, Little Miss Sunshine."

She stared icily at me for a few seconds before replying. "I'll explain everything once he wakes up." Gesturing to Allen, I had expected that. I smiled and nodded.

"Alright, I can wait. In the meantime, how 'bout you tell me your name 'n' phone number sweety?"

"Are you hitting on me?"

"I wouldn't say hitting; I'd say something more eloquent. Such as 'I'll fuck the Innocence out of your eyes if you let me', and more commonly, 'Me and you baby ain't nothin' but mammals so let's do it like they do on the discovery channel." I smirked.

Her frown deepened. "You really do have a filthy mouth, don't you? Maybe we need to zip it closed." Instinctively, I moved my head to the right and missed the candle that would have nailed my jaw to my skull.

"Whoa. Close one. Almost hit me. That's what _you'll _be saying tonight, uh huh." I raised my eyebrows, pretending to look like a sleazebag at her.

She gave me a scary look, but I simply smiled lecherously and nodded. "It's so good that you return the gesture, it truly is. So, as a gentleman, I must of course be act like one, and take you out to dinner first. Which would you like, one lump, or two?"

"You know, there's a word for someone like you." Rhode said.

"Oh? And that would be…?" I inquired.

"Paedophile."

"Aw, I would have thought 'sexy' would be your first choice of words."

"You're a pig."

"So I taste delicious then? Thank you Rhode and we haven't even gone to dinner yet and already you like the taste of my di- OW! IT'S A JOKE YOU STUPID STUPID WOMAN! FOR GODS SAKE STOP STABBING ME!" Needless to say again, bitch stabbed me mid-sentence.

Allen decided randomly to wake up, and the first he did was (PUNCH A TREE, LIKE A BLAWK) look at me with mild worry in his eyes. Scared? Join the freakin' club. You get a discount for next pissing-your-pants session coupled with free psychiatry sessions from somewhat professional quacks.

"Yeah, I don't know where we are either Allen. But little miss sunshine over there has been relentlessly hitting on me. Literally. I guess she just likes it that roug-"*Cue stab* "BLOODY HELL! STOP STABBING ME ALREADY! IT'S REALLY STARTING TO HURT!"

You know, it's the simple things.

Rhode stepped to the side, and both I and Allen's went wide at seeing who was behind her. Lenalee. I believe another cuss is in order.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

Or a dozen, that works too. Ooooooh if I swear one more time I get a free coffee. Nice.

"LENALEE!" We both shouted.

"You better watch what you say, it's Mistress Rhode's doll now." The Akuma beside Rhode interjected.

"Screw you Magma face! She's not a material object!" I defended.

The three-headed came so close I could smell the oil beneath its skin. Oh god and its smells like blood. Must. Resist.

"She's Rhode's toy now." Damn, and I was hoping to get through the rest of this day without getting angry.

"IF SHE'S YOUR TOY THAT MAKES YOU A LESBIAN!" That got everyone to be stuck in place.

"What?" Rhode replied. "What did you just call me?"

"So that's why you weren't interested in my obvious good looks, you didn't want to get into my pants you wanted to get into her-"*Stab* "STOP STABBING ME DAMN IT IT'S A JOKE!"

Allen was giving me the 'don't make it worse than it already is' look and Rhode was giving me 'Imma go murder you in your sleep'. I wish I could frame this moment in my life, it would make a fine portrait.

"To be fair Adam, you sort of brought this on yourself…" Allen said under his breath. Now even Mister Paragon is saying that I deserved it. That's just harsh. Hurt /cry.

It might not be the best time to mention that I am having a very tough time trying not to burst free of the confinements and murder the Akuma viciously just to taste the bloody smell of its oil? Probably not. Maybe. Possibly.

Already, the temptation was making my chest swell with desire, and it hurt to not satiate the desire. So yeah. I'm flippin' fantastic, how are you?

Allen blinked repeatedly. "Wait, I know you!" Cue running away from the town guards, wait, I need to focus, ah, I should have gone with the concentration upgrade for several hundred DNA instead of getting the ability to lift cars! I would have been able to concentrate longer! Damn.

"You came to buy a ticket earlier…! You're 'Rhode'…?" Someone get this guy a medal, he's a genius! She was called Rhode, so, she must be called Rhode! The greatest god damn discovery of the century here. Only, it's not 1935 and Allen isn't a teacher part time. And he doesn't have a whip. Huh, Allediana jones, Exorcist slash tomb raider extraordinaire!

Blood flowed down my face from my Stigmata wound opening again, and now it was getting close to my mouth. Oh god, it's not there. Pretend it's not there. You know how many people you killed last time you tasted blood. Stop. Wait. STOP! STOP MOVING YOUR TONGUE ME! I bit my teeth down on my tongue, but not hard enough to draw blood. Don't release. Don't do it. Just hold it. Hold it. Man, I sound like I need to take a piss.

"Why are you with the Akuma?" And that's the question of a life time, but does it have an answer?

"You're not an Akuma…" No shit Allen-lock.

"What are you?" Little Miss Sunshine, Miss Torture, Little Bitch, _Bitch_ said all on its own. Noah.

"I'm a human." Yeah, just try saying that with a straight fa- oh wait she's not.

"What's with that face?" Gee, Allen, it might be because, I don't know, she thinks she's superior?

"Humans can't be friend with Akuma?" Not sure if troll or…

"Akuma…are weapons made by the Earl to kill humans…they _target_ humans…" Well, no offence Allen, but since I harbour an pretty much unquenchable hatred towards Humanity as a way of coping with what I know is all my fault if I was in position I would do what he did to. Well, maybe minus…actually no, getting the deceased loved ones to come back from the grave and kill the living loved ones is just too funny to pass up. I think I'd keep the design.

Yeah, maybe make them play 'Trolololo' at all hours when in their Akuma mode would be good. Oh, and add blaster sound effects from Star Wars to the gun shots. Good times would be had.

PEW PEW PEW PEW! "COVER ME!" PEW PEW PEW! "OH GOD MY LEG!" PEW PEW PEW PEW, PEW PEW PEW! "SHIT, THEY GOT HAROLD! FUCKERS! FUCKERS! MOTHERFUCKERS!" Good times.

"Weapons can be used by humans to kill other humans, right?" Ding ding ding! We have a new captain obvious in town! Mistress Stupidness!

Rhode's skin darkened around the edges, and I could actually _feel_ something from underneath my skin come up to, but I suppressed it. I can't exactly go "HAAAAAAAAAA SUPER NOAH-AIYAN MODE ACTIVATE!" in the middle of battle. "The Millennium Count is my brother. We are the chosen ones." I snorted at that, but no one seems to notice.

You know, I'm starting to feel gangbanged. I feel a almighty rage in me that I'm trying to stop, this new feeling that feels like something is forcing its way to my skin, and my bloodlust that I'm forcing down as well by biting my tongue. Shit's going down in my own body, how 'bout that.

And now my forehead is bleeding again. Great, hopefully they don't notice the headband otherwise I'm in for a very uncomfortable explanation about how I 'slipped and fell down some stairs'. At least, that'll be the explanation after I talk to Ghost Nappa. Or he offers it, anyway.

Pain, pain, shoving force, and more pain. One might say that my pain; (Put's on sunglasses – _Adam_) is to the MAX.

Cue the giant YEAAAAAAH sound effect.

"You Exorcists don't know anything, do you?" Siri; define, anything.

"You are the chosen ones of a false god." I chuckled at this, and both Rhode and Allen gave me odd looks. Shouldn't have done that.

"Care to owe an explanation to why you're interrupting mine?" Little Miss Sunshine asked.

"Sorry, I just find it laughable that somehow, even though we are supposed to be hunting monsters, this has still turned into a war of faith. Does the Millennium Count also molest children?" I smirked, and she frowned. Evilly. Perhaps I shouldn't have said that.

STAB! To the power of cubed and suck it up with a vacuum, this hurts! I've been stabbed at least thirty times! And it hurts, a lot. Excuse me, cussing is in order.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCHRI STIAN ASS MOTHER that hurt. Can you remove these…please? I don't believe I can feel…from the waist up." I managed a cross (Geddit? – _Adam_) between a smirk and a grimace. Heh, close enough.

The candles came right out of me, "It's no fun when they don't scream. Scream for me!" She ordered.

"Sorry, I don't do requests. I do women though, and you're looking prettier by the minut-"*Stab* I grimace but continue. "But before I try and make another snide remark I'd thought I'd just let you know BITCH LOOK LENALEE'S AWAKE!" I said, pointing with my freehand behind her.

She turned around quickly and evaded, but then simply floated back down from the Umbrella she used to dodge, I laughed along the way (In a white horse open sleigh – _Adam_). "That isn't funny."

I laughed more so, "You still fell for it. Sorry, continue with your 'I'm better than you even though just by telling you so that I'm not and now I'll kill you' speech."

"Wait wait." Allen interrupts. "'And now I'll _kill you_? Are you saying she'll kill us at the end of this?"

"Yep."

His head drooped low, and I saw his fist clench. "So there's no hope left?" He asked with scorn evident in his voice.

"Most likely."

THWACK! Allen's fist collided with the wall, cracking it slightly. "Adam. Don't give in. Whatever you do, don't give in. I promise that I'll find us a way out of here. I promise."

Wow, did not see that coming. I smirked. Allen for president! He sure knows how to give a good speech.

"Relax, Allen. I don't give up; I take a leave of faith." I smiled; it's nice to see he cares. Even if I will murder him violently in the future.

His head rose, and I saw him smile, the genuine heart-warming kind of one. Shame I'll be ripping it off in a few years' time. I wonder if Hitler had, or has in this case, a heart-warming smile. God, does Edward D. Leverrier have a heart-warming smile? That would be creepy as fuck.

The Millennium Earl? I don't even want to _imagine _that creepy bastard smiling like that.

_I can hear you, you know._

Exactly.

…_I hate you._

It's nice to see that you care.

The Noah Rhode raised her hand, saying "Are you two done with your pep talk? I still haven't finished my speech you know." No need to be grouchy, geez.

We're only eventually going to become your worst nightmares someday.

Well, Allen the 14th and I most likely will have gone insane by then, you know, with the bloodlust? I have no doubts in my mind that I'll become some kind of monster in time. More so, I mean. Maybe I'll turn into the Feral Ghouls from Fallout. That would also be creepy as fuck.

"We are the true apostles chosen by god. Noah's family." She finished.

I raised my hand to make a hand puppet, and opened and closed it with every syllable as I spoke next. "Nag nag nag, you monologue too much. Have you ever considered getting a Diary to write down your problems? Maybe writing out your fantasies of me would help you get over m-"*Stab* "JESUS ON A MONOPLY BUN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? IT'S A JOKE, IT'S A FREAKIN' JOKE!"

She ignored my cries of outrage and instead stared calmly, slightest smirk playing upon her lips, at Allen, a hint of amusement in her facial features.

"Would you please…stop harming my…friend? He may be…obnoxious somewhat…but he's still a dear friend to me." One day, I need to teach Allen the difference between people that give a fuck and people that don't.

Her being one of them. She frowned, "Why not? He deserves it for being such a sleazebag, and a pig. In fact, I think he deserves to _die._" Okay, the candle is in front of my face, and it is hot and made of wax. That candle equals pain, and lots of it if it gets me in the head.

"Eh, go ahead. I'm depressed enough for it." I remarked nonchalantly, getting a concerned stare from Allen.

She blinked a few times and her playful smirk turned into a frown again. "It's not fun when they lay down. Stand up and fight!"

"I'm gonna go with a noooo."

"Fight back!"

"Nope."

"Fight, BACK!"

"Not happening."

"I'll kill Allen if you don't fight back!"

"Meh, I know internally he's sad too. I'm sure he wouldn't mind." Allen stared at me and I swear I could see him go anime Chibi on me, as he started waving his free arm around in a 'wait a second, let's talk this out' gesture.

"Since when did you get to decide about whether or not I die?"

"I've always been capable of killing you in your sleep you know. It isn't even that hard. You know, last night I drew the word 'small' just above your crotch and you didn't notice."

"YOU WHAT?!" Both Rhode and Allen shouted in unison.

"You heard me. I stripped him last night and drew the word 'small' right above his crotch. It was easy too, he freakin' sleeps like a rock." I remarked, gesturing to Allen with my thumb.

Allen and Rhode both stared at me in disbelief. "What? What are you looking at? Allen can prove it if he removes his pants. Right Allen?" I said, gleeful smirk on my face.

Rhode and Allen both shake their hands violently and said "No! Don't! I'm fine! I believe you!"

I looked between them and start grinding the gears in my mind. Something is off, from the way they both react, to the way she looks at him, and vice versa. Something is amiss, and I don't know what. Man, I need to figure shit out quicker. I may be witty, and handsome, and smart, but I need to be smarter. You can't be too good looking, too rich, or have too many guns.

I shrugged, as well as I can at any rate when nailed to a wall. "Alright. But something's off about you two." I said, voice lowering as I continue to think. "Erm, at any rate, continue with your monologue, Rhode." I said, gesturing for her to continue.

"That was actually the end of my monologue. I should be leaving now-"

"SHHHHHHHHH!" The Umbrella suddenly said. A talking Umbrella, how 'bout that. Next, there'll be a talking carpet, a genie and the lamp and we can remake Aladdin. We already have the monkey (Allen).

"Mistress Rhode, SHHHH! You're not supposed to talk about the family with clueless outsiders!" Oh wow, this feels slightly like Jersey Shore for some reason. Family members yelling at each other and people being oblivious of others feelings? Yep, Jersey Shore.

"Eh-? Why?" She replies.

"You just _can't_! And besides, the Earl hasn't planned a scenario for you and these people!" Something isn't right about Allen. There's this, feeling I'm getting from, this aura. It's evil, I can tell you that much.

"Not only do you take me out without asking, you go and do this without telling anyone. The Earl is going to spank you!" Ooooooh you're in for it now girl. I half expect a cut in of the Umbrella and him telling just how unexpected the feelings that Rhode metaphysically (A Jersey Shore episode isn't complete without them failing at using one big word) said out loud was.

All we need is a table lined with family members and we can remake the Jersey Shore before they even _exist_, how badass is that?

"The Millennium Count isn't going to do something like that to me." You just keep telling yourself that. I'm sure the man that is, insane, harbours anger issues, clinically depressed, stupid, a mad genius, and rules over his subjects won't hit you. Yeah, sure. She moved over next to Lenalee and I had to do my best to contain a growl, not to mention saying 'LESBIAN'. "I'm just giving the story a bit of a dramatic flare, to make things more interesting. Something like this isn't going to affect the Millennium Count's Scenario."

Okay, now it was easily noticeable, there _was _something emanating from Allen. I had felt it many times before in myself; Allen was oozing hatred. Never thought he could have it in him to be so angry. Yeesh.

Before I knew it, Allen ripped his arm free from the wall in anger, and now it was in its most pronounced form. The only way you couldn't see or feel his anger was if you were dead.

"Why are you angry?" Oh god, it's already like Jersey Shore…

"You don't believe that I'm human?" For once, I don't have a hilarious comeback. Although, she is somewhat suggestively positioned in front of him…oh god, bad thoughts, bad thoughts! The power of Christ compels me to stop thinking of them like that. Crap, it's already burned into my mind's eye. WHY GOD WHY?!

My image of them together doesn't help when she cups his face. No, no, no, don't kiss, oh god no, don't kiss…instead she hugs him around the neck. Whew, for a second there, I thought I was going to think like a Paedophile again.

"Warm, aren't I?" I had to stifle laughter again. That's what she said. The bleeding seemed to have stopped too, a while ago, so I don't have to worry about licking my lips anymore either since I rubbed it off just now.

"Isn't this what it feels like to touch another human?" Oh god no no no no DAMN IT MORE PAEDOPHILE THOUHGTS. WHY CAN'T I STOP THEM!?

Allen grunted out of clear anger, and his claw loomed overhead behind Rhode, threatening to destroy her.

"Even though you're the same as other humans, why…?" Allen asked. The amusement in Rhode's face dropped like (YO MOMMA'S PANTS – _Adam_) a sack of rocks, and was replaced by one of mild annoyance.

Despite the clear anger Allen felt, he was still reluctant to strike her. Hm, interesting. Was his decision influenced by something else I wonder? Like his di- OH GOD PAEDOPHILE THOUGHTS WHY GOD WHY.

"Damn…" I'm willing to bet that's him cussing because he can't do it. Hm, that's what she said. Smiley face.

"'The same?' Note quite." Rhode said. Damn, gimme 'dat facial expression, but in all honesty she looked creepy as fuck. It's starting to get a little unnerving too. Yep, now she's creeping me out.

She grabbed Allen's claw, and slashed her own face with it. Whoa whoa whoa! The hell!

"Wha…" Allen was in just as much shock as I was. Wait a second, Allen's somewhat weak, Noah are notoriously strong, and even a normal human could survive having the skin of their face cut off….oh. 'I'm trollin', they hatin', always tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty, always tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty, always tryin' to catch me, tryin' to catch me, tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty. My music's so loud, they hatin'…' Rhode's not far off from being black honestly…where did my train of thought do? Oh, right. If she's alive or not. Right. That or kittens in bags. Who puts cats in bags anyway? Cats hate bags. Wait wait, back on the _good _train of thought about her life…

Yeah, she's alive.

Speak of the devil, bitch grabs Allen's shirt like in something out of Condemned with that one guy in the locker, who had lost his lips in that one school place. What was his name? I think he was a teacher, and you find his lips next to a chalk board with the words "Loose lips sink ships" written with chalk on said chalkboard. Or was it a blackboard? God, Serial Killer X was a sadistic fucker, wasn't he…

"We are the 'supermen-'" Hey, that's sexist! "-who inherited the genes of Noah, mankind's oldest apostle." I'm surprised that without lips she could speak so clearly. *Snort snort* Magic?

Huh, 'Hey, I just met you'  
'And this is crazy'  
'But I'm a Noah'  
'We can speak without lips maybe' comes to mind.

"We're different from you lowlifes." I could hear her say that with the slightest hint of scorn.

I chuckled softly, "Funny. I hear that from about a dozen people each day as an Exorcist. What makes you different, Little Miss Sunshine?" I said with a sneer.

Just act like my somewhat normal self and pretend to have no knowledge of the future. That's what I needed to do, only it's getting me into trouble far more than it should. Well, what do I expect when I back talk to everyone? And pull a Stephen Colbert on all of them and sarcastically remark why they are wrong, whilst I'm at it…

She let go of Allen's shirt and stepped over to me, looking me straight in the eye as she kneeled down. She leaned in close and whispered to me, "You have the eyes of a killer. And a Noah." I stiffened. I looked at the reflection of myself in her eyes, but my eyes were still the normal colour. Not amber, like a Noah's, so what did she mean?

She leaned back again, and walked back over to Allen. I looked away, lost in thoughts over possible meanings of her words.

Baron. Help?

_Do I have to think for you?_

It would help, but I've learned from Soul Eater that not thinking is bad. So, I guess yes and no…?

_Fine. You hate humanity, yes?_

Yeah, because I can't stand the thought of just how many other people are suffering because of the way humanity is naturally. Among others.

_Then that's your answer. You have the eyes of a Noah, because you hate humanity. Not so hard, is it?_

Fair enough. Also, that's what she said.

And with that, the door slammed shut, signalling that he has left the building. I would if he too rocked his pelvis back and forth. Like his hair.

In time that had passed, Allen and Rhode were having a staring contest, Allen's eyes unwavering into her eyes. There's some kind of palpable feeling in the air between those two, I swear.

"If you two kiss, I'm throwing up all over you two. Just so you know." I said, breaking the tension.

Rhode eyed me evilly, before absentmindedly raising one of the nails that had nailed Allen to the wall and stabbing it through Allen's left eye. That's gotta hurt.

"That's gotta hu-"Before I could finish my sentence, I couldn't help but stare at the blood covering the nail, and Rhode licking it. I gulp inattentively. Man, I feel like that fat guy in the food court that is going on a diet and is forced to eat healthy food whilst someone next to him is eating KFC. Actually, just about anyone dieting could feel the same way…

Blood. Blood. The word echoed around in my mind. God damn it! Concentrate on the now! Stop it! STOP! BLOOD IS NOT HEALTHY! Fuck, I can't take it. I need it. I _need it. _I could feel my hand move on its own and reach towards it, before I clenched it and drew it back, ashamed that I had gotten so close to actually tasting it again.

Damn, I'm so weak mentally, maybe if I was stronger I wouldn't hate humanity so much…no time to dwell on more reasons to hate myself, as Rhode is giving me an inquisitive look.

"What? I thought I saw the light at the end of the tunnel and reached for it, before realising that I have _genuinely _met the Devil's Bride. Gotta ask, does he like S&M? Or is he the Rough Rider kind of typ-"*Stab* "OW MY DEVIL AGAIN IT'S MEANT AS A JOKE WHY DON'T YOU GET THAT!"

"Always with the stupid remarks." She sneered.

"Sorry can't hear you over the sounds of your husband saying 'BITCH MAKE ME A SAMMICH'." That earned me another stab. "OWWWWWWW SHIT THAT HUUUUUUUURTS. Is that what you said when you lost your virginity to hi-"*Stab* "GRRRRRRR, stop it. Sorry, I was just quoting the dialogue I heard from you two DOIN' I-"*Stab* "OW, THAT REALLY HURT! Was I believe the first thing you said when he used S&M on yo-"*Stab* "RAINBOWS OUT OF YO MOMMA'S ASS, I wouldn't know, I'm not the one undressing her, I'm pretty sure her lesbian daughter wa-"*Stab* "OWWWWWWWRAAAAAAAA GOD MY ARMS ON A BICYCLE JESUS FACE!"

_**~SOMEOTHER PLACE ROUGHLY A FEW SECONDS AGO~**_

The door to the Earl's room opened, well, was stepped through, _technically _not opened. In came Tykki, the Noah of Pleasure, for reasons as of now unknown.

"Hey, Earl, have you seen Rhode? She's not in school." Said Tykki.

"Hm? Oh, yes actually, I'm seeing her right now." The Earl gestured to the monitor he was in front of, and stepped aside, giving Tykki a full frontal view of the monitor, it was the size of the Earl, _and then some._

The monitor was linked to the Earl via a headset on his head. "What's this, Earl?"

"This, is my Akuma Monitor. Normally, only I would be able to see this vision via my mind's eye since the Akuma are linked to me, and me only, but, I made this so that I could get others to observe this. For instance, other Akuma. That way, I could create a more precise 'hub' of activity observation. Normally I'd have to check all 'channels' of Akuma's vision to see if there was anything notable happening, now by establishing these Akuma Monitor's it allows me to watch specific areas instead of everything at once. It's ingenious, really, and I just thought of it yesterday~~." Said the Earl in his usual sing song voice.

Tykki was astonished, and his face showed that. "Wow, Earl. It, really is clever. But why is this one Monitor special?"

The Earl pulled a spare headset out of nowhere and handed it to Tykki. "Here, listen and watch."

The Earl pulled up a chair for Tykki, and Tykki sat down, thanking the Earl and watching with amusement. There, on the screen, was Rhode, in her 'dream' world, torturing Exorcists. One particular Exorcist had caught Tykki's attention. It was the Exorcist that he lost trying to follow through the Rewinding Town, hence why he was at home and not following him.

"So that's where he ran off to." Whispered Tykki.

The Earl turned the volume up and Tykki immediately snorted. "He's so disrespectful towards us Noah, and yet he's so, so-"

"-Funny? I know. He really is just a barrel of laughs. A joke. But what kind, I wonder…"The Earl interrupted.

Tykki knew better than to ask the Earl, and instead just sat down watching the Monitor.

"_That's gotta hu-". _Adam suddenly stopped talking, and for whatever reason reached his hand out to Rhode, like he was reaching out for dear life.

"I know that look." Said Tykki inattentively. "It's the kind of look I've seen from the Junkie homeless all too much. He's reaching out for his next 'fix', but what is said fix?"

The Earl shrugged in his seat, an awkward motion due to the trademark fat suit he always wore. "I'm not sure. I just know he's reaching out in that direction. That aside, let's continue." The Earl turned his head back towards the screen, and if possible, his trademark grin grew wider.

"_What? I thought I saw the light at the end of the tunnel and reached for it, before realising that I have genuinely met the Devil's Bride. Gotta ask, does he like S&M? Or is he the Rough Rider kind of typ-"*Stab* "OW MY DEVIL AGAIN IT'S MEANT AS A JOKE WHY DON'T YOU GET THAT!" _Tykki chuckled, whilst the Earl merely watched with delight.

"He's got quite the mouth on him, and I wouldn't mind teaching him," Tykki flexed his hands, "more _gentle_ ways to speak to a lady. And a Noah at that."

"Indeed. (Outdeed - _Adam_) He certainly has." Agreed the Earl.

"_Sorry can't hear you over the sounds of your husband saying 'BITCH MAKE ME A SAMMICH'."_ _*STAB*_

"You know, I bet we could make good money out of this." Said Tykki offhandedly.

"Oh?" Inquired the Earl.

"If we started charging money to watch Rhode and this Exorcist fight, we might just earn enough to dominate the world economically. Sub humans love their television, Count."

"Hm, you may actually have a point. Sub-humans do love their television; it'll be something to keep in mind then."

"_Sorry can't hear you over the sounds of your husband saying 'BITCH MAKE ME A SAMMICH'." That earned me another stab. "OWWWWWWW SHIT THAT HUUUUUUUURTS. Is that what you said when you lost your virginity to hi-"*Stab* "GRRRRRRR, stop it. Sorry, I was just quoting the dialogue I heard from you two DOIN' I-"*Stab* "OW, THAT REALLY HURT! Was I believe the first thing you said when he used S&M on yo-"*Stab* "FUUUUUUUUUUCKING RAINBOWS OUT OF YO MOMMA'S ASS, I wouldn't know, I'm not the one undressing her, I'm pretty sure her lesbian daughter wa-"*Stab* "OWWWWWWWRAAAAAAAA GOD MY ARMS ON A BICYCLE JESUS FACE!"_

Tykki was full blown laughing by the end of it, and the Earl was chuckling darkly alongside him. "'M- my, arms on a bicycle Jesus face?' Does he even realise what he's saying?" Said Tykki, laughing dying out.

"Wait. He's stopped saying anything." Said the Earl with a glum tone. "Shame. His comments were to die for."

"He might be dead." Suggested Tykki. His head tilted upwards just the slightest as he realised what the Earl's comment meant.

"Oh, wait, I see what you did there Earl."

_**~BACK AT THE PLACE WHICH WE ARE JUST NOW OBSERVING~**_

Damn, I can't feel my jaw, my head feels light, and my vision is blurry. All in all, today is looking like it's becoming a good day. A very, very good day.

"I don't think anything of killing these insignificant humans. I just _hate _this world, full of these worthless beings. You should all just die and go away." If I could applaud, I would. That gets a 6.9 on the Retardichter scale for villain speeches.

"Nice speech." I said, making my sarcasm evident. "It really blew me away, especially the part about how you love di-"*Stab* "ALRIGHT ALRIGHT I'LL STOP WITH THE COMMENTS JUST STOP STABBING ME IT HURTS!"

Rhode's attention went back to Allen, and she gripped her sleeve with her teeth. "You know, god…he wishes for this world to come to an end. That's why he rewarded the Millennium Count and us with these Akuma."

Oh come on, even _I_ have to admit that's weak. I 'pfff-ed' distastefully. "Yes, because God would make a plan that had a chance of failing." Of course, it was said underneath my breath. Stab me once, shame on you; stab me _twice,_ shame on me.

Rhode eyed me, confidence gleaming in her eyes. "And what makes you think that you stand a chance of winning?"

I smirked, confidence _also _gleaming. "Because, we're human, and we're nothing if not stubborn." I made an attempt to stand only to find that my arm was preventing me from moving since it was being held captive. I closed my eyes, and concentrated. My eyes burst straight open as the cast holding my arm did the same, and I was standing tall quicker than anyone could blink.

"_And,_" I flexed my hand, attempting to regain feeling in it. "If you intend to take us down," I punched the air as hard as I could (Whilst not looking suspicious) with my recently freed hand and cracked my neck. "I'll make sure there's many, _many _more than you in Hell when I reach there." I put my right arm up, and gave the 'come get me' gesture to Rhode.

Allen also prepared himself, and we both dashed off as a shield descended upon me. My shield. I smirked. Both I and Baron shouted mentally at the same time.

**SHOWTIME!**

The Akuma cut us off as they leaped to their master's defence, and Allen's face showed alarm. "Can't you kill me?" Rhode said as she threw off the Exorcist's coat she was wearing and turned her back. Allen and I gunned it, but Allen was thrown back against the wall, and my shield absorbed the blows but forced me to stop.

I shouted behind me before returning my attention to the Akuma, "ALLEN!" and with an overly-dramatic punch the flames of the shield turned into shrapnel that went straight for the Akuma. The Akuma merely dodged as I too evaded an attack by the Magma faced Akuma, ice fire barely missing my head.

On a whim I spun on my heel and jumped from conjured platform to conjured platform, Desert Eagle forming as I went. With an ounce of theatrics, and fires on my arm, I quickly shot beneath me and almost hit Rhode. Almost being the keyword. Rhode had moved quicker than I had blinked, and craned her neck to look up at me. She smirked creepily and it gave me the idea to twirl and fire directly above me mid-air as I bound to the next platform. The bullet grazed the blades for arms Akuma as he had tried to sneak up on me, and he recoiled in pain.

I landed on the platform and stood and waited for the next attack, and without missing my mark a fire blade shot out straight at my back. But it didn't reach it. It collided straight into the three-headed Akuma's mouth as it attempted to scream. From that blade, an almost vine like line of flame broke out all over the Akuma, as the flames melted its interior. I breathed a sigh of relief before turning the platform I was on upside down and bounding straight for the ground, but my moves didn't end there.

Taking another flame blade and turning it into a dozen, I created a 360 degree perfect circle, and made it spin as fast as lightning as I threw them at the Akuma like Throwing knives. Said Akuma was the Magma-faced Akuma and it didn't even bat a glance at the blade. His eyes widened as the blade grew larger. He avoided the attack, but only after the giant sword cut off one of his hands. It bellowed in anger. "Damn, I missed."

With a move like the wind, I jumped straight up and latched onto the platform as the blades for arms Akuma blew a tornado attack my way. A guillotine's blade feel from the sky and the blades for arms Akuma narrowly avoided the attack, only for it to nearly then get destroyed by the assault by me viciously striking with a sword all up in his face. He blocked the attacks one after the other but in this test of stamina and mistakes I was incapable of fatigue and perfect. Blade sparks charged the air as we, unstoppable forces, met our immovable objects.

"Do I really look like that when I'm struggling?"

The Akuma looked behind itself and saw me, _**ME **_me, not the clone that I had used to assault it. The Akuma had but one second to realise he'd been played before a barrage of bullets tore his body into another dimension and then some. The explosion didn't even falter my moves as I threw a line of explosives on the floor, and detonated them all. The aftershocks were but kittens to my battle tank exterior as the last Akuma, whom for all intents and purposes was the yarn that cat's seek out, got knocked straight off of its feet (Figuratively speaking of course) and fell over, crippled.

The magma-faced Akuma was blown in two, and it struggled for the last refuges of life as it lay on the floor, leaking oil, surrounded by scorch marks. Footsteps, mine, were but mere whispers to the Akuma as its systems steadily shut off, one after the other, and the black hole of a gun barrel was nothing but an abyss to its failing eyes. The last thing it heard, a bang, the last thing it felt, a piece of condensed flame boring through its forehead, and the last thing it was heard was one hell of a bang.

Rhode gave a slow clap as I rose from my kneeling position, and she spun in her chair, weird as hell Allen look-a-like cat in hand as she gave me a villain-esq speech. "Very good, Adam, _very good._ Nyah! I'll GET YOU NEXT TIME AD-AM! NYAH!" And then she turned into Starscream and flew through the ceiling…

Wait, what?

I shook my head and immediately that I was back on the wall, Allen wasn't wounded, Rhode didn't look like a stereotype of a villain mixed with Skeletor, and the Akuma were still alive. What just happened?

_Next time you daydream in the middle of a battle I'm not bringing your consciousness back._

Oh! That makes a lot of sense…

_As do a lot of things that I say._

Exactly. As do a lot of things that I say. Not what you say, good god, what you say is stupid beyond belief.

_One might say the same thing about what YOU say._

Whom is said one? I'd like to 'meet' him. And 'shake' his 'hand' 'calmly' to show that I 'don't present a threat to his wellbeing.'

_Riiiiiiight. You honestly don't know who?_

Do you know?

_You know what, no, I don't, who do you think it is?_

ALIENZ.

Face slapping sound ensued.

Baron just left rather than respond; I probably would have too in his situation.

"That isn't God's will…it's the Devil's!"

Taking that as my cue to focus, Allen ran off before I could even get my bearings, and only by the time Rhode had replied "Who cares? Either way is fine." Had I realised that we were forcing the attack.

The Akuma's rushed to Rhode's aid, and Allen was faced with a predicament. I caught up with Allen only just as he was attacked, which were moments after Rhode said "Can't you kill me?", and I was left all on my lonesome. With three to four individuals seeking my doom. Swell.

Wasting no time, a flame shield covered my attack. Okay. I've day-dreamed this. I can do thi- THWACK! The Akuma, also wasting no time, got behind my shield and hit me in the back, and I was cast aside against the wall, sliding up beside Allen.

"ADAM!" Miranda called out.

Heh, I got a fan. Tastic.

I stood up, and brushed myself off, only to get cast against the wall again as another wave of conjoined attacks struck me. Or rather, the shield I had put up at the last possible second to deflect the attacks, but still forced me back a few feet. I cast a ball of fire around the shield, using it like the Riot Shield from Call of Duty as I wielded another item in my other hand, that being the Desert Eagle after casting the ball.

Barrage met barrage as I shot straight at the Akuma, and they shot straight at me, but soon, I was falsely overwhelmed by power that I could easily overcome as the constant attacking knocked the shield from my hand, and I was caught up in a massive wave of conjoined attacks from the Akuma.

"Are three Akuma too much for you? I would have expected more from you Adam."

From lying on low, I saw Rhode look at Miranda, and for the briefest of moments I had the inkling that she was going to kill her.

Miranda said something through tear stained eyes that even I couldn't hear, but what Rhode retorted with was heard by all. "You too…it's about time I 'released' you."

Oh, so she IS going to kill Miranda. Kill Miranda. OH SHIT SHE'S GOING TO KILL MIRANDA!

I ran as fast as my persona's legs could carry me and jumped straight in front of the candles, forming a barrier around both I and Miranda. Allen had more or less thrown himself onto the fire to, so to speak, as he had attempted to shield Miranda with his claw, only I beat him to the point. Derp.

I smirked and chuckled lightly before coughing up blood, and with a worried head I had turned to my chest to check injuries.

There was a candle sticking out directly in my sternum. Oh, THAT would explain the horrendous pain. Oh, HORRENDOUS PAIN! I thought as I finally realised the pain emanating in bolts from my chest. I couldn't stand, so I had fallen to my knees, and taking a look behind me, I realised that my defence hadn't been as absolute as I'd liked; Allen had taken many, _many_ hits.

"…Damn, didn't raise it fast enough…" Were the only words I could say through the pain.

Breathing heavily, and with blood spilling out of me in enough amounts to make Blood banks jealous, I was helpless to do anything, so Allen had to be the one to rescue Miranda. He pulled the spikes from Miranda's hands, and she crawled all the way to the wall Allen and I had been bound to just mere minutes ago.

I looked straight at Rhode, whom was smirking triumphantly, and flashed a smirk. Truth be told, it was pretty funny, since in this situation she had been intending to kill Miranda, and had nearly killed Allen, her 'love-life' as the future telling documents had said, also of whom was host to the Noah that she had a relationship with. She looked at me, confused, before I mouthed 'Jokes on you.' To her. As I fell to the floor, panting heavily and most certainly dying, I attempted to laugh.

This was comedy gold.

**The world was nothing but a blur, and to my horror I realised that my ability to heal quickly wouldn't be able to cut it, as healing a wound like this, last time being stabbed through the chest that is, back in Mater, took a day and a half in of itself to heal.** **I could only hope that Miranda invoked her Innocence before I died; otherwise I would most certainly fall into the abyss of death.**

**Time drew on, and I realised that Miranda hadn't invoked her innocence yet. My fear grew, and a thought echoed like a shout in a hollow cave, a thought that thought:**

_**I'm going to die here, aren't I?**_

**WE INTERRUPT THIS EPISODE OF THE NOARH'SEY SHORE TO BRING YOU THIS WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS**

Me: What up? Didn't see that coming did you? No, Adam isn't dead; he's just, temporarily relocated. Permanently.

Adam: WHY U NO LET ME LIVE?

Me: Like I said, I haven't killed you off, you're just temporarily relocated. Permanently.

Adam: Riiiiiight.

Me: Hey, your fault for letting yourself be stabbed by Rhode's candle. .

Adam: …

Me: I thought you were witty, but it appears you're actually something else that rhymes with it.

Adam: …

Me: Oh right, he's dead. Of course he isn't going to respond. Whoops.

Anyways, audience, many revelations this chapter, aren't there? Hope you like the dialogue between Rhode and Adam, and the 'Akuma Vision' made by the Earl! It'll play a part in future comedy sketches. But what did you guys think of it? Did you hate the dialogue? Did you like it? I know it's especially lewd, but in that situation that's the first thing that came to Adam's mind.

Ah well, tell me in a review!

This time though, I thought I'd just give you guys a little history tour on the different characters that Adam was before the story.

Let's get started, shall we?

First one: In the beginning, Adam was originally just going to be a replacement for Lenalee, since I hate her somewhat, but then I realised that it would kind of not really make any sense for the characters to care for a guy as much as they do, since it would turn into Yaoi super quickly.

Second two: Adam then underwent another revelation, he became an Akuma! Yes, originally, Adam was to be an Akuma. He would become the Nemesis to Allen. At first, Adam would fight Allen when he was a level two at the Rewinding town, one of him instead of the entire four Akuma. Then, he would be the level three that attacks the boat (As in the boat they get Chaoji from), but ends up retreating. Then he would become the level four that attacks headquarters. Of course, I realised that since Akuma have no real texture of character they wouldn't make for interesting main characters, just side characters.

Third three: He was going to be the 15th Noah, the Noah of madness, then I read 'Shadow of Madness' and I felt unoriginal and immediately abandoned the idea.

Fourth four: An ordinary, non-descript Exorcist with his own past and everything. Then, in the writing of the first chapter I ended up writing it with him turning into a Noah in the end by accident, and instead of the '15th' I missed the five, so I ended up with him being the '1st' apostle. That there clicked in my mind, and that's how this version of Adam, Adam the Fifth came about.

Fifth five: Current Adam.

**~BACK TO THE STORY~**

When I awoke, not knowing when I fell asleep, nothing but darkness was lying in wait in every direction. It wasn't the _dark _kind of darkness, it was as if someone had coloured all the walls black with glossy black spray paint. If this is the afterlife, it's kind of…

…_boring._ Seriously! I fucking died a hero and I don't get to go Valhalla?! Bitches, Imma go punch those Valkyries in the face for their insolence! By the time I'm done, they're going to need enough fucking Stimpacks to help all of Korea to fix their fucking faces!

GRRRRRRRR! ANGER! I sighed. Now that my anger is out of the way, I need to know where I am, it's awfully quiet here… it's too quiet. Always wanted to say that.

I've seen enough Horror movies to know that I'm going to get attacked at any second now. I know it. Stop looking at me like I'm paranoid, I'm not! Paranoia saves lives (™)!

I tried seeing if my Innocence would work, and surprise surprise, it didn't. I need a young witch here (To perform the act of opening a portal to the Witch Realm of course) so that I can at least spend the afterlife with plenty of young big breasted women…do all witches have big boobs? That's a philosophical question I have enough time to answer now.

THUD! "Ow…" Oh, so I CAN speak here. Okay, I can at least speak to myself. That's something. Maybe I can role-play the entirety of Mass Effect dialogue and action wise to entertain myself. Wait, romance scenes…

For whatever reason, I dropped to the ground, it appears I was actually falling, I just didn't feel any air around me. Weird, but it's to be expected. The dead don't feel. Wait a second…Did I just say a contradiction? I think so…

Mumbling a curse to myself and rubbing the back of my head, I looked around, and saw a very familiar room, and face, not ten paces from where I was standing, erm, lying.

"Baron! What the hell are you doing in the afterlife?"

Afore mentioned Baron stopped pouring the tea he was pouring up until then, and looked at me with a puzzled expression. "Afterlife? You think you've died?"

"Um, yes?"

"Then you're a fool. The 1st apostle, that would be you at this time, is far, _far _harderto kill then to just bleed to death. Right now, you're merely recuperating, and missing the fight outside. Sit, and watch." He gestured to the window that I used as my escape route last time I was here in his personal lounge, (It had been repaired) and somehow, in the reflection it showed the battle, or rather, it showed the inside of a glowing sphere, with Allen's face and Lenalee's face. They had a similarity to them now that they didn't have before.

They were crying.

"If you get close enough, you can hear what they're saying. Go on, you won't fall out, it stays there until you're done healing."

I stiffened, they were crying? Crying over me? They actually valued me so much that they cried over my death? Now that's just, that's just, funny. So funny, that not only am I laughing, but I'm crying, what emotion made me cry I don't know, I just know that I did.

But now I felt angry, and I punched the window in frustration, "DAMN IT YOU TWO! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE ME CARE ABOUT YOU SO MUCH THAT I FEEL BAD ABOUT MAKING YOU CRY!? DAMN IT, DAMN IT, DAMN IT! WHY! WHY! WHY! WHYYYYYYYYY! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO CARE ABOUT ME!? I'M A Monster…" At that I become completely dishevelled, banging on the window with my fist until it became nothing more than dull thumps against unbreakable glass.

"God, you sadistic fuck…" I said under my breath.

"If you're done crying, Adam, care for a cup of tea? It's just the way you like it. One lump, ten cent piece size of honey added." The Baron said reassuring. I took him up on his offer and sat opposite to him, and sank into the comfortable furniture.

"Thanks, Baron. I appreciate it. I never thought I'd say this, but I don't even deserve you as a friend." I said glumly.

"Probably not."

"THAT WAS THE PART WHERE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GIVE ME EMOTIONAL SUPPORT! WHY AREN'T YOU MAKING LIKE A GOOD FRIEND AND HELPING?!"

"I know. And there's a different between family and 'good friend'." He remarked as I took a sip.

Ah, nice and warm. Just like blood…I shook the thought from my head, and instead looked on the brighter side of life~~~. *Whistles*

"Oh, and just what is that?" I said, sly smirk grin on my face.

"In that book that you read, what was it, Skulduggery Pheasant?"

"Skulduggery _Pleasant_, Baron. Get yo facts straight son!"

"Right, _Pleasant._" He said, making sure to use a mocking tone.

"Doesn't the main female protagonist hate her Aunt, even though she's family?"

"Are you saying you hate me?"

"Hate is a strong word, but I really don't like yooooou."

I smiled, oh here we go, once we start this, we can't stop until we're finished.

"Love, love, love love lovvvvve."

"You were everything I wanted."

"You were everything a girl could be."

"Then you left me broken-hearted."

"Now you don't mean a thing to me."

"All I wanted was your love love, love love love lovvvve."

"Hate is a strong word, but I really-"

"-really really don't like you." We sang in chorus.

"Now it's over."

"I don't even know what I liked about you."

"Brought you arounnnnnnd, and you just brought me dooooown."

"Hate is a strong word, but I really, really, really don't like you."

"Thought that everything was perfect."

"Perfect."

"Isn't that how it's supposed to be?"

"Thought you thought that I was worth itttt."

"Now I think a little dif-fer-ent-ley."

"All I wanted was your love love, love love love lovvvvve."

"Hey."

"Hate is a strong word, but I really really really don't like you."

"Now that it's over."

"I don't even know what I liked about yooou."

"Brought you 'round and you just brought me dooooown."

"Hate is a strong word, but I really, really, really don't like you."

"Now that it's over you can't hurt me."

"Now that it's over you can't bring, me, dooooown."

"Oh oh oh oh oh."

"Oh oh oh oh oh."

"All I wanted was you love love, love love love lovvvve."

"Hey."

"Hate is a strong word, but I really really really don't like you."

"I really don't like you."

"Now that it's over, I don't even know what I liked about you."

"Liked about you, about you."

"Brought you around and you just brought me dooooown."

"Hey."

"Hate is a strong word, but I really, really, really don't like you."

"Oh oh oh oh oh oh."

"I really don't like you."

"Oh oh oh oh oh oh."

"I really don't like you."

"Annnnnnnd cut! That was perfect, Baron, I really think you have what it takes to become famous! Now you just need to enter Noah Idol and you'll ace it! Be careful though, I hear the Noah of Bonds is a cheater, but don't let anyone tell you that I said that. It was the lion in the wardrobe, m'kay? OH LOOK A DRAGON!"

Just as soon as I finished my sentence, I balled over, laughing my heart out. Tears of laughter came forth, and I kept laughing until I no longer feel the wetness of the tears upon my face. Talk about ROTFLMAO.

I stood up, adjusting myself only to realise that I'm not wearing my Exorcist uniform, and instead wearing a very stylish tie suit and fedora hat combo. Nice. Baron caught me admiring my suit, and said "Like it? Of course you would, that's how you see yourself in your mind's eye."

Oh? "Really? It looks absolutely fabulous. God, I'm a sucker for suits. Where's the top hat that would go with this? I think I designed a suit that looked this in my free time once, that's why it's in my mind's eye of my self-image, and I _did_ design it with a top hat as part of the design."

"Here, take this one. I believe it's the one you're looking for." The Baron passed me the perfect top hat for this suit. My god, that's it! How did he get it though?

"Where did you get this?"

"You know how you forget things? Well, I simply found it where you forgot it was. Don't ask me to elaborate, it's horribly confusing and you likely wouldn't understand most of it."

I shrugged, "I'm all ears." I put on the top hat and instantly felt awesome, not just in the sense that my self-confidence went up, but in the sense that I felt complete. Like I was born to wear this.

"Ah, it feels good to wear this…" I said out loud.

"And that's how it works." Baron said randomly.

"How what works?"

"Forget me dust, you just spray a little at someone and they forget everything." He made a hand gesture like he was throwing something from a bag. "There, that's how it works."

"How what works?"

"Never gets old."

Oh, I see, "Quoting Tooth Fairy on me Baron? Now that's just low. What ever happened to the YO MOMMA jokes and that's what she said? Those were always the good ones. I liked those."

"That's what she said."

"That makes barely any sense. I'M HOME!" I shouted dramatically.

"Yeah, sure. If you're home, then make me a sammich."

I bowed mockingly. "Of course, my liege. Not. Bet you thought I was for a second didn't you?"

"Nope dot avi."

Not quite sure how to respond, so I try and change the topic. "How much longer before I recover? I've been in here for a while now."

"Evading the questions now are we? I swear, if you ever get arrested you'd be the worst liar."

I smirked at Baron, before quoting a show. "I'm a pretty good liar. I am a four-hundred-foot tall purple platypus bear with pink horns and silver wings."

"…What? THAT barely makes any sense!"

I facepalmed. "Now I try and quote something and YOU D- why are you laughing? I WAS TRYING TO MAKE A REFERENCE DAMN IT!" I realised far too late. But all is not lost. Speaking of lost… "The game."

"The wha- OH YOU, YOU SON OF A-"He couldn't even finish his sentence as I burst out laughing at his expression. Seriously, I need to film my life and watch it on television. I am such a genius, tee hee hee hee hee.

I simply am the best. Plus 15 respect with Khem Val.

Baron sighed, forcing a calm demeanour even though it was clear he was angry. "Anyway, you asked about how much longer it would take?"

"Yes?"

"It should be ready in about thirty seconds. It'll take some ti-"

Without warning, I was thrust upwards, back towards the sky. Huh, falling towards the sky, yeah, shut up Tucker.

I flew with breakneck speed back where I originally came from and collide with the ceiling, the impact forcing me into a daze, and I blink to try and get rid of it. On the third blink, all my sense come rushing back to me as I'm aware that there's moisture on my chest.

"WHOA!" I shoot up from my laying down position and smack face first into Lenalee. Sexual positioning ensues.

"Oh god, sorry Lenalee, I'm just, uh…surprised, 'tis all." I managed a nervous chuckle and attempt to get off only to find that both Allen and Lenalee were both hugging me. When did Allen start hugging me…

"Adam, you're alive!"

"Ditto." Allen you little line stealer!

"Yeah, I too thought I was dead for a second there. The life of an Exorcist is dangerous; man I need health insurance or possibly even life insurance so that my casket can be made of solid gold." I said, imagining the sight of me in a solid gold coffin. "Nice."

Lenalee's grip on me tightened, "Don't even joke about that Adam! You were dead, you're heart stopped beating and everything. You had no pulse for crying out loud! Don't scare us ever again…" At this, Lenalee for whatever reason attempted to mimic me just a few minutes ago by crying and sobbing horribly.

Allen just holds tight onto me. This is getting slightly uncomfortable honestly. "When the clock didn't work, we thought you were gone for good, but then it just started working, after thirty, dreadful seconds." Allen whimpered.

"The clock?" I ask. That must be Miranda's Innocence, since she's the only one with a clock and Innocence that I know of.

"It's Miranda's Innocence, without her, we wouldn't have survived. We were waiting on you to begin our attack, but we actually started thinking that we would have to go on without you. How stupid were we?"

"Actually, Allen, to be fair, I would have thought the same thing. Probably sooner, hell I would have tried and attacked them whilst they were still disoriented, since I'm assuming that they didn't know or didn't expect Miranda to do, _this, _they would have been disoriented. Or were. Now when we go out there we'll be sitting ducks. Unless we have some way of knowing where they are and attacking from the inside. Lenalee, Allen, any suggestions?" I switched to tactician mode in the blink of an eye. We need to be smart about this.

Allen and Lenalee let go of me, both looking thoughtful.

"Well, the fire spitting Akuma yells out before he attacks, so we could use sound to triangulate his position…" Allen suggested.

"Good, good, keep 'em coming."

"I can use 'Enbu Kirikaze', it means 'waltz of the tempest', to attack them from afar…" Lenalee added.

"Also good. Okay, attacks. What can they do?"

"The one with the magma face can shoot Ice Fire." Allen offered hopefully.

Lenalee nodded, "And the other one, the Akuma with blades for arms, can, actually, I don't know what he can do. I don't remember much from when they attacked me…" Lenalee said, ashamed.

Allen snapped his fingers. "The three headed Akuma can attack with soundwaves."

I put my hand under my jaw, in the Thinker's statue position, and do just as the tin says, think. "I already knew all of that. But still, a refresher is always good." They both sweatdropped, and I swear I could see the text 'then why did we bother?' above their heads.

"Alright, we have no way of knowing their position, so I suggest we wait for them to make their position known. The girl, Rhode, is the VIP, very important person, in this situation, so we need to capture her if we can. She might have information on the Earl's plans. The Akuma, we need to destroy, but since there is no way of knowing their positions, we need to destroy them when we see them. Got it? Anyone need a reminder?" They both nodded.

Forming a flame Jackal and in my other hand Casull, Alucard's guns, I cocked them with my teeth, just to look cool. They both gave me odd looks, before I comment "What? I look badass when I do that."

Lenalee sweatdropped, "No, no you don't."

My eyebrows twitch. "Now just hold on a second. I _do _look cool. I know I do."

Lenalee sighed, "You have a god complex, you know that?"

I smile and nodded, "Thanks, I'll take that in stride."

"YOU BASTARDS, COME OUT ALREADY!" An angry voice from outside the sphere of clocks shouted.

"That would be them, I presume?" I asked.

Lenalee nodded, wordlessly. "You know, my Waltz of the Tempest can create a smoke screen."

I look at her, eyebrow raised. "Then you attack first, me and Allen will take the Akuma other than the current one. Got it?" She nodded.

I don't know if I'm a domination kind of guy but it feels good be able to order people to do stuff. Maybe that's just all the time I spent playing Star Wars: Republic Commando 2 (They finally made a sequel to that game in 2016): Imperial Commando. There was this one boss fight with a Jedi in that place, I think it was Bespin…yeah, it was cloud city, and you had to wait for the wind to pick up before ordering your squad to leave cover and take better positions. The thing was, he would use force push to knock you off the platform if you rushed in impatiently. Son of a bitch had aimbot, I swear, because he never _fucking missed._

Pushing that aside, I waited for Lenalee to move. I moved to a crouching position, and added springs to my feet to allow for faster movement and jump speeds. Alright, let's rock this joint!

Lenalee attacked the Akuma, yelling out 'ENBU "KIRIKAZE"!' as she shot the wind out of her boots.

I leaped out of the sphere, descending on my prey like a bird of the same kind. I swear I could see Ezio mimic my movements to a T, wait a second, Assassin's creed…HIDDEN BLADE TIME!

Mid jump I conjured a perfect fitting Hidden Blade, fully, erm, drawn? I suppose you could call it since it isn't exactly a sword. I landed on top of the three-headed Akuma, right next to Allen, and increased the size, weight, and density of the Hidden Blade until it became the width of a Butcher cleaver.

"Right here." I heard Allen remark as I stabbed down. Allen shot his own arm's projectile at the Akuma, and I kind of felt slightly inadequate for not using something more…flashy. Like Allen's gun arm. Thingy.

Hm, Gunblade from Final Fantasy, just more menacing? Yeah, that could work.

(**A/N:** Just want to thank Stella Rose-chan for telling me of Gunblades. Those things look awesome, and I'd highly recommend looking one up and seeing it for yourself if you haven't. Basically, I was speaking to Stella Rose-chan via PM's and well, she mentioned Gunblades. From now on, I've been considering having an interesting weapon each arc as Adam's main weapon. I used Hidden Blades in this one, but trust me when I say that Adam will give them a second chance later on in the story. I too think they are awesome, just don't get your nickers in a twist. Recommend a weapon that Adam can use and he'll try it out! Want to see him fight with a blaster from Star Wars? He will! Next arc though we have its main weapon as, you guessed it, Gunblades! He'll be using them for the rest of this arc as well, just so you know. **A/N**)

I landed on the ground at roughly the same time as Allen. "Damn. Looks like we only got one, I was hoping we would have gotten two or even three with that." I said to Allen under my breath.

Conjuring up a Gunblade, I gave it an ominous red glowing eyes skull on the handle, painted on of course. The decals in the side of it looked like tangling vines twisting around each other, and a person being swallowed up by them, his hand reaching out desperately and matching perfectly with the end of the blade.

In short; badass, and just my kind of gun. The words 'Dei Joculator' (Latin for 'The Joker' – _Adam_) were on the barrel itself.

"Eeeh~. Exorcists sure are interesting." Rhode remarked.

"You know, I still haven't forgiven you for STABBING ME! I WAS DEAD FOR LIKE A MINUTE THERE!" I shouted, shaking my fist in mock anger.

Lenalee Allen and I stood back to back, making sure not to let anything get behind us. "Come on and fight us, Rhode!" Allen shouted. I tapped Allen on the shoulder, made sure to speak in a voice loud enough for Rhode to hear.

"No Allen, first you take them out to dinner, and _then _you get S&M with the-"I dodged to the right, narrowly avoiding a candle that would have hit me in the arm if it had collided. "HA! I WAS EXPECTING THAT!"

We stood fiercely against the tide and I had to stop myself from yelling "HOLD THE LINE."

"Oh my, oh my~~. What did those guys do to become so lively?" There was a pause.

"It's the meth, isn't it?" I said, pretending to say what I think she will say.

She looked at me strangely. "What?"

"That's what you were going to say. You were thinking about how we were revitalised, and I just told it's from Jesus juice. 'It works miracles!' is the slogan. You've never heard of it? If you want, I can send you to him to ask for some."

She looked at me evilly. "You're a very annoying human, aren't you?"

"I'm not annoying, I have a coloured TV."

"What? That doesn't even make any sense!"

"YO MOMMA doesn't make any sense." I defended.

"Yo momma?" Rhode asked.

"Yo momma? Shorter way of saying 'your mother'? Duh! I swear it's like talking to a brick wall sometimes." I moved my head to the left in instinct, and a candle whizzed by quickly, cutting off a few locks of my hair.

"Hey! No one touches the mane man!"

"The main?"

"The _mane._ You know, like a lion's mane? I'm awesome just like one. Although don't mention them around Allen, he has a lot of bad experiences with them. Speak of the devil; he's now sulking beside Lenalee." I said, gesturing over my shoulder to see Allen with his head between his knees', sulking beside Lenalee.

Rhode cocked her head to the side. "Why does he have bad experiences with Lions?"

"Oh, our master, General Cross Marian told Allen to go 'catch one of them lion things'. He was drunk at the time, I think. Allen came back with his arm being gnawed off by a tiger. Cross yelled at him and then told him to go catch a lion and not a tiger."

"What happened?"

"The Tiger ended up being stuck gnawing on his arm until Allen 'stopped being stupid' as Cross put it. I had to help get Allen's arm out of the Tiger after he left for, wherever."

"He didn't tell you he was leaving?"

"Actually, he mentioned something about South America, but I'm not sure." I read of the tales of Lavi and co. searching for General Cross. A false lead wouldn't hurt.

"Oh really?"

I didn't respond, I didn't need to.

She stared back, poker face matching poker face. "Is it because that Miranda person is compatible? I don't know how she did it though. Looks like that woman somehow revitalized them."

Okay, ignore me, see how much I care. Two can play at the silent treatment game. Except, I don't have first aid kits for the fight against her. Damn! I knew I shouldn't have trusted the Pizza guy! Or rather the guy eating Pizza…whatever.

"Allen, who's that child?" Lenalee suddenly asked, breaking the staring contest we were having.

"It's that child we met…at the theatre, right?" Lenalee inquired further.

"Akuma?" Lenalee added.

There was a long pause, and when Allen answered, he spoke gravely. "No."

"Human." He spoke it like it was cursed, pun intended.

Lenalee turned away again, narrowing her eyes slightly, "…I see." Becoming her eventual reply.

Rhode, for whatever reason, started writing letters in the middle of the air. She must be hacking the main frame of reality… because you didn't put the number symbol in front of the phone number! You gotta do that in order to activate cheats man! Now you'll never get Evil Cars. Good times.

"A. L. L. E. N." She said out loud whilst writing with her finger.

"Allen Walker, 'the one who can see the souls of Akuma.'" Rhode said.

Allen looked alarmed that she knew that about him. "Actually, I heard about you from the Millennium Count, so I know a bit about you. You became an Exorcist to save the souls of Akuma, right?" I snorted at this.

Rhode looks at me angrily, "What is it this time?"

"Nothing _too_ major, it's just that I noticed just how much of Juxtaposition you two are."

"A jusxta- what?" They both said in unison. My eyebrows twitched involuntarily.

"A juxtaposition. Opposites. You two are a juxtaposition since Allen is selfless and Rhode here is a bitch. Full offence meant. You may have awesome hair, but you're still the bitch THAT KILLED ME NOT FIVE MINUTES AGO!"

Rhode rolled her eyes. "Will you just forget about that? You should be grateful that I'm letting you live even though I can kill you easily."

"Can you?" I said ominously. Let's see who diverts first in this game of chicken…

Our gazes were held on each other for the longest of times, before she spoke up again, by writing my name in the air.

"A. D. A. M." No prizes for guessing when she said each letter…

"You're a resilient one, aren't you? First, even my form of torture doesn't work, though you did scream all the while, so that's still a plus. Second, you _die_, and yet you still _live. _You know how harshly that'll reflect on me? If word gets out that I let of my victims live, I'll become the mockery of the Noah clan!" Hands waving around like she just doesn't care, Rhode was fuming.

"So, you're going to kill me to uphold your reputation? I always thought I would die because I piss off the wrong person, but because of an _image_? That just sucks so much ass it ain't even funny. You know how I would have liked to go out? Shotgun to the _face_. That's an honourable way to die. REALLY honourable." I said crossing my arms and gesturing just like the NPC's in _certain MMO's_.

Rhode rolled her eyes, before conjuring up a hail of candles and throwing them at me. I dodge backwards, running as faster backwards as fast as I can to avoid the candles, before running forward and over the candles that I just avoided. And repeat, as Rhode talked. Think of the benny hill music and my running and they would go together like glue.

"AHHHHH! WHEN YOU SAID 'HARDER, FASTER' I DIDN'T THINK YOU MEANT RUNNING!" I shouted whilst sprinting for my life.

Rhode turned away from glaring at me, (Or was it my ass? – _Adam_) and looked back at Allen. I swear, she has the attention span of a squir- OH LOOK A BUTTERFLY.

"Now that the hindrance is dealt with, I can continue. So, you became an Exorcist to save the souls of Akuma, right? Because you were cursed by your beloved father." Oh, shit, she's starting to talk about Allen's past. I swear; if Allen does what I feel like doing right now I'll fucking beat his ass later.

Rhode's face, took a strangely positive tone, by smiling. "ARE YOU OFF YOUR MEDS OR SOMETHING?!" I shouted as I continue to run for my life.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Rhode glare at me before returning to her 'cheery' old self, staring at Allen.

"So I decided, if I was going to get involved with anyone, it would be you."

"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" I shouted, not giving up on my efforts to avoid the candles.

I swear I could see Allen blush, for whatever reason. What is up with him I wonder…herpes on his face? No, not unless…OH GOD NO PAEDOPHILE THOUGHTS.

"Hey, you." Rhode said to the magma faced Akuma. That's quite the mouthful. That's also what she said. But still, I need a shorter name for the guy…hm, Twat? Well, it's somewhat British, but this is Germany, I think…shit, I can't call him Hitler, he doesn't have the moustache. Hm, arse bandit? No, no, he isn't Scottish. Although…yeah, it's funny enough to be excused.

"Yes?" Arse bandit replied.

"Self-destruct." Rhode ordered.

"YOU MAY BE A MASOCHIST BUT THIS IS A LITTLE EXTREME DON'T YOU THINK?!" I asked rhetorically as I nearly tripped. Thank god I haven't tripped yet, it just might be the end of me…

Allen's facial expression of surprise was priceless; Arse bandit's was most definitely second place. "Eh?" Arse bandit replied.

"Umbrella, 10 second countdown." Rhode commanded. The Umbrella looked nervous, before counting down.

"Te…10." It started.

"9."

"8."

"Wait…Mis…Miss Rhode, not that…" His pleading was actually pretty humorous.

"7."

"I've finally evolved this far…" I can't help but smirk at that. He was so desperate, so, _scared of death. _He was so afraid that Arse bandit looked like was going to piss his pants. (Or Jizz in my Pants, depending on who you ask. Whilst on a boat – _Adam_)

"6."

It was probably irony in its greatest form, so great that even I couldn't understand what was ironic about it. "HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE ON THE RECEIVING END? THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" I yelled, dodging a candle that nipped my cheek and drew blood.

"5." Rhode just completely ignored his pleas, and Arse bandit became desperate, making another attempt at pleading.

"…gh! Miss Rhode?" He sounded like a pathetic five year old asking for a present on his birthday, it was unimaginably funny.

I chuckled, but no seems to notice me over the deafening silence that floats through the air, before Allen spoke up. "Hey!? What are you up to…?"

"You know…if you break an Akuma without using Innocence to destroy it, for instance, if you force it to self-destruct,"

"3."

"-the Akuma's soul will disappear into Dark Matter. Did you know that?" Rhode finished explaining.

Allen's facial expression could be described to that of a person seeing a woman naked for the first time; in other words, BITCH BE SHOCKED.

"2." The Umbrella said.

"STOP!" Allen shouted. Me gusta Allen, it's nice to see you care but SERIOUSLY! SOME PEOPLE ARE RUNNING FOR THEIR LIVES HERE!

Allen dashed straight for the Akuma, whilst I conjured the Gunblade, time to test fire. Best troll face ever if I manage to get him before Allen does.

"ALLEN, NO! YOU WON'T MAKE IT IN TIME!" Lenalee warned.

I lined up the shot, but doing so whilst running is pretty difficult. Come on, just hold the controller as still as possible to stabilise the gun…you learned how to do this in Killzone 2! Come on Adam, you played that game a lot!

"1." Rhode's face looked like she was going to rape Allen. My god woman, I already have enough thoughts similar to that already! Stop giving me ideas with that scary smile. OH GOD NO MORE PAEDOPHILE THOUGHTS. Me gusta though, strangely.

BANG! I line up the shot and make my best attempt and it…

…misses completely, going an inch or two to the right. HOW DO I MISS SOMETHING THAT BIG!?

GRRR THAT'S WHAT SHE THOUGHT!

The Akuma let out a strangely satisfying (For me – _Adam_) roar right before it exploded in a giant blast of wind. A fireball truly admirable. Or was that the miniature pyro in me saying that?

The wind knocked the candles on path with me off course and they collided harmlessly a few feet away from me. Now's my time to escape! You may take my life, but you can never take, MY ABILITY TO ESCAPE-DOMMMMMMM!

I sprinted back towards the group, Allen and Lenalee, and took up arms and aimed them at the Noah.

Rhode's laughter fills the air, and suddenly the situation hits me just like how puberty hit the guy that sang Chocolate Rain. Hard.

Allen just got DENIED. And Rhode is going 'trololololo' straight to his face, sort of, and everyone is sad except for me. A soul was lost to the Dark matter. How unimaginably funny. How laughable. Life's a laugh, and Death's a joke, as they say.

"How funny, utterly laughable, marvellously laugh-tastic, what a great joke, all of this. " And yet, I couldn't laugh, even though I could feel the urge, I couldn't. I wonder why that is…

But no time to think that over, I shook my head after the mumbled words left my mouth, hoping no one heard that, and pointed the Gunblade straight at Rhode, keeping the sight trained on her head at all times.

Allen doubled over in pain, clutching his face, and I spared the briefest glance at him before turning back to look at Little Miss Sunshine.

"Why did you have to kill Arse bandit? I thought we had a real connection there!"

"Arse bandit?" She raises an eyebrow at me, questioningly. You want answers? Well YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

"Yeah! It's what I named the Akuma that you just blew up! I thought we really were friends for a second there…" I said forlornly. Well, her head isn't exploding like a Battarian Soldier used his heavy melee on it, so, I'm going to presume that she CAN handle the truth…

Rhode's eyebrow twitched, and looked at me like she wanted to know if I'm joking or not.

"You're kidding me right?"

"No!" I put my hand to my heart and created a flag with the Exorcists symbol on it. Comic relief, in three, two, one, HO!

"We Exorcists are SWORN, to protect the INNOCENT, EXCLAMATION POINT! And that Akuma, that you treated like a _DOG,_ was Innocent! Sort of, or at least mostly, so, as Exorcists, we WILL PROTECT THEM! TO FIGHT THOSE THAT WOULD HARM THE AKUMA IS OUR MISSION! WILL BURN OUR OWN TO HELP THE AKUMA, FOR THEY ARE THE LAST AKUMA TO EVER HELP! THAT IS OUR DEVOTION!" *Cue pointing figure pose.* "And NOTHING, that YOU can say will ever, _EVER,_ dampen the resolve of us! WE WILL FIGHT UNTIL THE LAST MAN SLASH WOMAN SLASH WO-MAN IN CASE OF A TRANSVESTITE! WE WILL GLADLY THROUGH OURSELVES OFF OUR HEADQUATERS IN OUT SELFLESS DEVOTION!"

"WE!" I brought one fist up in the air dramatically.

"ARE!" I brought my left hand up in the air dramatically as well.

"EXORCISTS! THE DEFENDERS OF ALL AKUMA SLASH HOPE! EXCLAMATION POINT, TO THE MAX!" My drooped low head bounces up, and I concluded my presentation. I could hear Baron giving me applause.

I took a bow in the direction of Rhode's 'Dafuq' face. "Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week."

Wait a second, I used that phrase earlier. On someone else. A little girl. DANIELA!

"Wait." Catching Rhode's attention, she was about to ignore me when I continued. Or maybe she did just ignore and only chimed in when she heard my concerned tone. "Rhode, when you found me, what did you do with the little girl I was with? Her name was Daniela, what happened to her?"

Rhode looked thoughtful for a moment. "Oh, her. One of the Akuma mentioned it to me about how they let her get away, because she was 'so damn persistent in escaping' and they weren't sure of my orders. So they spared her. Why?" Her eyes narrowed. "Is she important to you?"

I shrugged, "Somewhat. But I thought you'd like to know," I can still back out of this if I want to…no, she deserves a loving family. Even if it will come back to bite me someday.

I jumped and land on the Umbrella, and leaned in close to Rhode's ear. She looked annoyed by this, but whatever she was going to say died in her throat as I talked next. "I think she's one of you."

She looked taken aback, before scowling. "How would _you _know?"

I smirked. "Simply common sense. She exited and entered the town repeatedly, and she wasn't affected by the time. And since I didn't se- see any Innocence on her; I'm willing to presume she must be the same as you to be able to do so." Whew, almost said sensed. Close.

She looked thoughtful for a second, before replying "How do I know you aren't lying?"

I shrugged. "You don't. At all, unless you can read minds, THEN you would be able to tell that I'm speaking truthfully."

She looked at me for a long moment before saying, "Whilst that's fine and dandy, can you get off of Lero's face? You're suffocating him with your boot. I'm the only one that gets to make him suffer." She pointed down to the Umbrella's face and lo and behold, he was suffocating under my boot. I immediately jumped off of his face, feeling to some extent animalistic at the fact that I had slightly enjoyed the suffocating look on his face.

I shivered slightly. I must be losing my ability to control myself if that actually felt _good_…

_Nope, it's part of becoming a Noah. And Chuck Testa._

Oh? Really?

_Yep. All Noah have some form of Animalistic bloodlust and sadistic part of themselves. Some more than others. Case and point, you and Rhode. And Tykki._

Fair point, but will I become a complete animal as part of it?

_Eh, I dunno._

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DUNNO?!

_I, the 1__st__ 1__st__ apostle, was alive roughly 7 thousand years ago. I don't exactly remember the process that much…_

You're about as helpful as Kaiden from Mass Effect 1, aren't you?

_I take offence to that! I look better than Kaiden. Chicks dig the teeth._

Yeah, they probably like the fat suit too, the fat-ness makes them feel like they're riding on a cloud, doesn't it?

_Yep, totally._

God, I miss these talks. Don't you?

_Mostly._

Right, now make like a tree and leaf. I've got people giving me odd looks right now.

_Alright, alright, jackoff…_

I HEARD THAT!

_YOU WERE SUPPOSED TOO!_

SLAM! The door closed and I couldn't help but feel as though I left it on a bad note. Maybe.

I turned around, and looked straight at Allen as he gives me an inquisitive look. "What was that about?"

"What was what about?"

"You, talking to, _Rhode._" Allen said with obvious disdain.

"It's," Tell them the truth? No, then they'd only criticize me more…hm. Lie/avoiding the truth option it is then! "Nothing important. Just made a snide remark about her pirate's shirt." Plus 5 Renegade!

Allen raised an eyebrow. "She didn't try and kill you, isn't that a little strange?"

I put my finger to my lip and tap twice. "Yeah, actually, it is. Very much so. Hm, I wonder why she didn't…it's the Aliens. I'm telling you! It's gotta be them! It's all a conspiracy to get us to buy their products! IT'S THEM I TELL YOU! IT'S THEM!"

"Yeah, sure, why do I even bother…" Taking up a battle stance, he aimed his arm at her chest area. Aha!

I shrugged. "I don't know, literally you tell me."

"…" Allen simply sweatdropped at that, and looked at Rhode along with Lenalee and me.

Out of the corner of my eye, whilst Rhode was talking, I could see the last Akuma preparing to charge Miranda's sphere of clocks. Hm, fail distraction is fail much?

So, Rhode is probably going to go "I'm in your base, killin' your dudes" any second now, since she _does _seem to be the gloating type of person. Err, Noah.

"But, are you sure it's all right?" Yep, she's about to gloat.

I aimed my Gunblade carefully, right through the centre. Come on ballistic firearms! Don't fail me! Don't be like Hellgate: London and quite clearly hit but say that it missed!

"That woman over the-"BANG! The bullet went faster than the eye could follow, and straight into the chest of the last Akuma.

He exploded epically, and I turned back, facing Rhode, putting the Gunblade on my shoulder upside down so that it doesn't cut me, and said "You were saying?"

Rhode sweat dropped, and gave me an oddly cute 'I hate you face'. I laughed. "What? Lesson learned, don't gloat. Haven't you read up on your literature? Villains always loose because their arrogant. Like you. Bitch." I said with a smile.

She scowled, "Such a filthy mo-"

"-Shut up."

"Excuse m-"

"Shut up."

"Wha-"

"Shut up, you're getting on my nerves." I smiled at the steam I saw coming from her ears. Boy is she _PISSSSSED!_

"NOW LISTEN HERE YO-"

"-Ah ah ah, now there's no need to get angry little lady. Just calm down, disregard your period and continue on with your life without hurting anyone." And now, there's flames coming from her eyes. Great.

"You, YOU, YOU!"

"-Are all I can think about? Finally you confess your feelings! About time!"

Okay, now she's both on fire AND steaming. That's probably bad…oh who cares *TROLLFACE*

But suddenly, she calmed down and grinned evilly.

"You destroyed it! Well, let's call it quits for now." Ah, she realised that's she's been trolled. About time. But still, H&R TROLL BLOCK, HO!

"Ah~a, that was more fun than I had expected it to be." She jumped off of her Umbrella and stood still, Umbrella over shoulder. Something about this seems, familiar…the way she holds that thing, Lero, she called it? The way she holds Lero…

"_You shouldn't swing it around that hard. I'm sure the Earl needs to make sure that his sword doesn't suddenly puke up all over itself during battle, sis."_

Whoa, the hell, it was like I was, reliving, a memory…

_Yep, quite so._

Oh, so I was? But that wasn't one of your memories Baron, what was that?

_You know, instead of asking the skull to solve every problem for you, you should instead just go ahead and try and figure it out for yourself. You know, PLAY THE GAME._

Alright, alright! But why can't I use the hammer? Honestly, in a situation like the Main Protagonist is in, she doesn't get to turn down using the hammer just because 'it'll make too big a mess.'

_She's a woman. What do you expect?_

Oh gee, that was sexist wasn't it?

_YO MOMMA'S STOMACH'S A MELON!_

Ooooooh so you wanna YO MOMMA joke fight? The sacred American tradition! Alright, but remember, I've banged your mom-fu!

_YO MOMM-_

Before Baron could finish his sentence, a conversation caught my attention, a conversation between Allen, and Rhode. I turned my head to look at it, intrigued.

"If you act like that, no one will like you." I managed to hear Rhode say.

The chequered door, _her _door, opened, and she stepped inside. How did I not notice that before…..but before she left she said evilly "Let's play again sometime, Allen."

Literally, on the cusp of the door, she turned around once more and looked straight at me, "Oh, and Adam? You're wasted with them. I know you'd be much happier with us."

**She extended her arm towards me. **

"_**Come with me."**_

_DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!_

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**Author's notes: HA! Gotta love Rhode. And references. Of which this chapter has many of. Haha, gotta love Anime. Man, I need to catch up on watching what I've been meaning to watch...and read as well. GRR, WHY CAN'T I READ ENTIRE FANFICTIONS IN ONE SITTING!? NOW I HAVE A FAVOURITES BAR CHOCK FULL OF FANFIC'S! AND ANIME! **

**AIPWGJIOWJAGJP)WSJAAWSQAWUIJKHQAWITPYH(PAQWTOUPQPWO(QPO(AWIQKN PO()TQW QAWQA(WP)! HEADKEYBOARD BASICALLY!**

**So whilst I'm busy reading other fanfics, you'll be withering away as I don't post another chapter ever. PERMANETLY. FOREVER. REPETITION OF LAST TWO STATEMENTS.**

**What will he choose?! Who will he choose? Or does he even have a choice in the matter!? Blah, who cares. He chooses {SPOILERS} *Hey lets get him!***

**Me: Ah! Minions, what are you doing here!**

**Minions: You were about to reveal the plot! We gonna stop you!**

**Me: IF YOU'RE GOING TO KILL ME THEN AT LEAST DO IT WITH CORRECT PUNCTUATION!**

**Minions: UP SHUT!**

**Me: Seriously, aneurysm incoming...**

**Minions: We not care!**

**Me: Blood is flowing from my nose...**

**Minions: LULWUT!**

**Me: *BLEH DYING NOISE***

**Minions: Alright, now with master is dead, we prevent spoiler!**

**A Minion: And the rest of the story from being written...**

***Pause***

**Minions: Drinks all 'round!**

**A Minion: *Forever alone***

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_**'Till next time, bye!**_


	26. OMFGWTFBBQ NEW CHAPTER

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!**

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_Chapter 27_

***Not really***

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Wassup readers? I just want to post this as I've considered a few things for the future of my fanfic writing. Previously, I didn't think that I could actually finish Alternate Universe, and yet I did, and doing so came with a firm grasp of confidence in my own abilities to write; IE, I KNOW I will finish this fanfic, even if it kills me.

First things first, my Resident Evil story that some may have waited with bated breath for; I have put making it on hold. I made weekly contributions to it, and ended making a reasonably sized 3 thousand word chapter yesterday.

Second things second, my Vampire Knight/Soul Eater/D. Gray-man crossover story I have also put on hold when it comes to writing. I haven't gotten past the first three hundred or so words due to lack of inspiration.

Third things third, I have gotten yet another fanfic idea. And it's one that I thought of recently actually. It's a Spider-man story; but not of the movie, I mean the actually GOOD spider-man; Spectacular Spider-man, which was a REALLY good Spider-man TV show adaption of the comics. Anyway, so after watching the show, realising OMFGWTFBBQ/ I loved the Symbiote, I decided to make a…fanfic about it. YES, you read right, this is either your worst dream or your wettest one come true, 'cus I'm making a Symbiote story. YAY! As Rhode would say.

Currently, the idea is in its rough drafts, as I got the idea from a dream in where my face was all wrong and I pulled it off and realised that it was the Symbiote from Spider-man and woke up screaming like a bitch. Good times. XD Yeah, laugh it up. I am. XD Anyway, the rough outline is this:

The idea is a girl, whose name I haven't decided upon yet sadly, ends up meeting the Symbiote; but not the one that Spidey meets later on. Oh no. This is one is actually another that came from space. An extrovert (Symbiote) meeting an introvert (Our heroine) is basically the name of the game and the game is a tale of moral righteousness when you need to be bonded with someone to survive. She bonds with the Symbiote, and the story goes from there.

I'm not quite sure about aiming for it to be a heart-warming-esq kind of story, as I can easily imagine it being so as the Symbiote more or less forces her out of her shell of loneliness and isolation, (And before you ask, I know what an introvert is by definition, so I'm not just using the typical meaning of the word; I'm using the correct meaning of the word) so somewhere along the line of decisions I have to make I need to decide upon character bonding moments and somesuch. I am, without a doubt though, on a particular 'track' when it comes to deciding what will happen; IE, currently I'm just going with relationship plot lines, such as fights, make-ups, and decisions that I view would make the relationship more interesting. For instance, in a typical (I've only ever had one girlfriend and she was for a week, mostly because I desired solitude more than her. XD So if I'm wrong, tell me.) relationship, Marriage would be the 'ultimatum' (And I know about intercourse being a milestone but I'm just wondering how a Symbiote could 'sleep' with its host, and since I'm drawing blanks I ain't including it.) and permanent bonding would be the equivalent of that, so just before that they could, say, temporarily separate to see if they truly DID want to go forward with it. And then there'd be character reflection on the road so far and yadda yadda yadda, with a choice on either of their ends. Do they or do they not want to bond with the other?

I super-duper with sprinkle on tops want to write a story about a relationship between a Symbiote and a person. I'm just not sure HOW the problem is. What'd be the plot? Relationships are fun 'n' all, but where would the stuff that makes it _Marvel be? The Villains, defeating bad guys with retarded names, and all the other fun stuff too? Where would I squeeze that in?_ I've toyed with the idea of making it a prequel to the show, during the summer vacation that happens before episode 1, but I'm not sure. Would she be a villain, would she be a hero, or anti-hero, even? Gah, I'm so lost in choices and decisions that I have no clue where to start. ;_; *Sad face* But yeah, that's how things are going in my ol' head, by the way. I'll keep you guys posted with the status of the story on my profile as time passes by, so be sure to check it out!

Fourth things fourth, after chapter 27 (The real one) is posted, I will put up a poll, this poll is a poll that basically includes adding characters from other stuff into D. Gray-man, including and not limited *Actually it is* to: Alucard, Alcatraz and Benjamin Carmine. Whoever gets the highest amount of votes will get an appearance in D. Gray-man. So, vote for our lord Alucard, or else he'll kill you. Jk, or am I?!

Fifth things fifth, and this is the last one, sorry for making you guys/gals wait so long for these chapters. XD Even though this is just me letting you people know stuff. XD

_**Well, I'm FollieOfMadness, and I'm tunin' out.**_

_**Bye. See you soon~~.**_

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(Enjoy this lovely draft of the the first part of the first chapter of the Spider-man story I was talking about. So it'll be good-bye in about another couple hundred words. XD For realsies that time.)

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_Chapter 1: Meeting _**her**

_She liked the silence._

_The maddening, deafening silence._

Some listen to music at such decibels that their ear bleed in protest, and then some of those people then continued to listen until they could hear naught, not even the very suction of air that keeps them alive. Some however are different from this, they, to put it bluntly, listen to something far more…elegant. The answer to the question 'what is this' is this; classical music. Yes, the sound of Beethoven's score, or even Bach's symphonies were enough for some. But, also for some, none of the above was enough. Some just wanted a quiet, almost deathly so environment.

Some people just wanted to live as though they were a corpse; still as the grave, and silent as one.

_She _was one of them.

Typically, any teenager would like at least one of the above types of music, and have a habit of listening to it at that, but then again, as each person is unique, there of course would be the exception. _She _was it. The _it_ was she. Exception was the kindest word anyone had used to call her by, and a long list of unpleasant ones never quite compared to what her own mind had described in a fury of self-loathing and self-hatred. _Loser, _she had thought. _A loser that only takes up space on this world _was a phrase that had been used not infrequently. But, thoughts as such were like vultures, seeking their opportunity and then taking root with such ferocity that they rivalled Piranha's eating their food.

Tears had been shed, life had been spilt, and black gowns were worn in the space of the past year. Life had taken a turn for the _absolute _worst because of it. Her father was the man with something to prove; to whom, no one knew, and she began to suspect that he both didn't know, and didn't _care _to know. The passing of his wife, and her step-mother, had only increased that, via adding alcohol to his already seemingly infinite list of reasons as to his actions. A drunken man did not think; a drunken man did not care, and a drunken man her father was as of late, and currently, going by the sound of downstairs. The sound of breaking glass was most of what she heard from the outside on the weekends. The cars that passed were so few in number; a comet was more likely to pass by her house than one. But, funnily enough, that was one of the few commodities of living where she lived that she had enjoyed; the maddening silence and almost soul-breaking atmosphere.

To describe her neighbourhood as gloomy wouldn't do it justice; to describe her house as such, would. The house looked, and reeked, of death and decay; the wooden walls, the missing tiles and not to mention the pungent odour that wafted through the windows, all in all the house looked as though it was scheduled to be demolished. It should be for all _she_ cared. But, she digressed, simply being run over was a punishment inefficient for the man whom had 'raised', and she thought of this very, _very _loosely, her. Nay, something far more prestigious was her father's fate, or ought to be.

She often wondered if it was a sign of coping, or insanity, that she had mental imagery of the suffering of others. But, this was put into the backseat of problems as life continued to rain on her parade that was already sinking into the abyss.

She sighed. Now she was depressed again. She didn't like that.

Absolute silence is usually what she wanted at times like these; but, due to a decision undoubtedly influenced by boredom and loneliness, she had made a commitment. This commitment is the fact that she happens to write pieces for the student newspaper, and was doing so now. The computer keys gave her something to focus on besides the boiling rage that she mentally exhibited, and she used it frequently to keep her fury under control. Just as she was at the concluding sentence of her fifth paragraph, as her piece was a rather long one, she stopped suddenly. Her eyesight drifted south-east on her glowing white screen, and she felt the pits of her stomach twist and turn.

It was nearly time for, _school._

Oh, how she found it abhorrent. She once had thought to herself that she found school synonymous with 'suffering' and 'unwanted attention', which both happened coincidentally to be synonymous with each other according to her definition of both. She had, at both her best estimate and best hope, three minutes until she had to leave for school and, at her worst hope and estimate, three hours until her father would wake and fall into a stupor yet again. She picked up the pace and her typing became the sound of furious robots doing battle with metal batons, hoping desperately that she could finish her piece before the time limit she had set for herself had ended.

Huh, ended, she thought. Peculiar word, ended. So many ways to interpret it, ended. Many different ways. Including…

The clock on her computer screen struck down, and she had to leave, _now, _or else she would be late. Getting yelled at by a _second _adult didn't sound promising, so she sat up, albeit reluctantly, and began her regular dressing routine.

She donned a white long sleeve shirt and a pair of matching white pants; she couldn't stand jeans, alongside a pair of shoes the same shade as her shirt. To add a splash of colour to the white costume, she covered her striking raven black hair; accompanied by a red-streak for the foremost parted hair, with a platinum coloured tomboy hat. With the word done still partially echoing through her mind, she stretched and gave a satisfied grunt as she strode on towards her mirror. Checking that everything was in place, she made a brisk trip to her door, hesitating just the slightest second before opening it, and taking one step outside. Sighing out of relief, she walked silently but swiftly towards the kitchen; going down stairs and making sure not to step on the glass were the more difficult parts. In a time frame that would make even the most controlled spies shout out obscenities in jealously, she went to work rapidly making her school lunch.

A snoring sound caused her to duck with fear and years of honed reaction time helping her hide as low as she could behind the counter. Her father was stirring, and she did NOT want to be around when he awoke completely.

Hell hath no fury like a man experiencing a hangover, as she had joked on previous occasions. Making fleeting glances at the waking man, she put her reagents together between two slices of bread and stuffed it in a plastic container, later on adding the plastic container to her brown lunch bag. She finished with moments not to spare and sprinted for the door, backpack already next to the door due to when she left it there last night. With a solid twisting of the knob and pull, she opened the door and was about to flee when a voice wrapped itself around her spine and froze her movement.

"Where do you think you're going young lady?"

She turned as if she was expecting a monster to leap out from behind the couch and attack her; in a way, she was right with her melodramatic expectations. She didn't even attempt to explain, knowing he would snap, _again_ no matter the reason. Rolling on the balls of her feet, she escaped through the front door and down the front porch, fearful panicking steps turning into practiced foot-placement as she weaved over the front lawn with the grace of a cat.

That of course, was only how she imagined getting away.

In actuality, whilst she still did not speak to him, during her attempt to get through the front door he gripped her arm in a vice-like grip. She struggled for her arms freedom, but to no avail, and as he spoke next, she realised what was coming next. "Why does a piece of garbage like you have to go somewhere and yet I don't? You lousy-"he struck hard and fast, and even though it had happened a thousand times before, nothing could prepare her for it still. "-little brat. You are a LOSER-"The next slap was twice as furious, and twice as fast. "-that only takes up space on this world!" In a rare moment of relapse, his grip on her faltered, and she capitalised on her opportunity. Wrenching free from his arm, she pushed open the door as fast as she could, and dodged to the side as he attempted to grab her once again. He missed and she ran as fast as her legs could carry her, with some additional speed from the adrenaline pumping constantly and consistently throughout her body. Fear washed away and was replaced with relief as she ran into the distance, before vanishing with the crowd of people leaving for school at the same time.

And despite this, she thought only of what the editor-in-chief of the student newspaper would think of her piece.

It happened enough for it to become routine, so why not?

* * *

**Author's notes: Angst? You bet! XD Yeah, I'm not going to neccessarily take my time introducing the 'mystery' girl, but it I won't write a chapter simlar to 'Chapter 2: Defeating all of spider-mans villains blah blah blah' and somesuch. IE, I'm taking the plot at a steady pace. **

**Yeah, I took a lot of my writing structure ideas from Novel's i've read; in the book I currently have to read, things are far more about implications than actual events. Plus, things can be interconnected quite nicely in the book; her angsting phrase that goes throug her mind, 'you are a loser that only takes space on this world' comes from her fathers slandering. Among others.**

**It's funny actually, during my design process of her, all the ideas I had for what she looked like ended up being similar/exactly the same to some characters from the show I'm basing this on. XD**

**That'll be all from me for now, and I bid you adew.**

**Tata~~.**


	27. I Only Wanted To Kidnap You :)

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

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_Chapter 26_

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**AN: I want to thank all 26 people that haved reviewed my story, all 9 of whom have favourited this story, all 10 who are following this story, and just all of you whom are reading this story in general. Thanks guy/gals, couldn't have done this without you.**

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Taken aback wouldn't even begin to describe how the offer made me feel. Enraged that she would ask such a thing? Sadness at realising I would actually enjoy being with people that shared at least one of my beliefs? Or ashamed at the thought that I was thinking of the offer?

Allen gazed at me, and Lenalee's sight followed shortly after. They were looking at me for my answer. Using their eyes as shovels, they were trying to uncover my reply, my retort. Allen was more than likely waiting for me to say no, given the he looked at me, whereas Lenalee was _hoping _Iwould say no, given the way she looked at me.

To be honest, I was going to be offended that _Lenalee _of all people had such little faith in me, but then again, her faith in me was far greater than mine at the time. It was likely Rhode would make me 'an offer I couldn't refuse' if I said no, plain and simple. Unlike life.

Say no, get forced to say yes, say yes, and piss off everyone I know. So many options, I don't know what to choose.

Then, of course, what would be the point of saying anything? If yes means yes and no means yes, then why bother saying either word? Instead, I should just break out singing Smooth Criminal by Michael Jackson, which would be option AWESOME for life.

Huh, "Lenalee you okay, you okay Lenalee? Will you tell us, that you're okay, that you're okay Lenalee!"

My gaze turned towards Rhode face, before I spoke up and asked "If I said no, are you going to…"

She smiled. "Yes. I think we both what I'll do if you say no."

I stroked my face and sighed into my hand, before standing firm and taking a step forward. Here goe-

"Adam, wait!"

I turned towards the direction I had heard the voice come from. It was Allen.

"You, you don't have to do this." He finished. I looked at him, shocked. Then I stared at my feet as I responded.

"Allen, she's more than likely going to hurt you both if I don't go with her. Don't believe me? Ask her." I said, pointing towards the girl in question with disdain.

All eyes turned towards Rhode. "What?" She countered. "He's telling the truth. Although, I would have liked to get him to come without forcing him..."

Just as the words left her mouth, Candles, dozens of them, appeared from nowhere and surrounded both Allen and Lenalee, trapping them. She didn't even need to keep me under lock and key. I was her obedient little lap dog with them caged.

And I _hate _lap dogs.

I glared half-heartedly at Rhode. "You know, you just had to ask nicely."

She smiled, albeit it was clear as day that it was forced. "Fine then. Adam, 'please', come with me. Happy?" As soon as the words were out of her mouth she dropped her smile like it was a snake and she was Indiana Jones.

I glared/smiled back, "Most certainly."

It was an odd sight, I knew that much. The top half of Rhode's face was that of mischievous, evil intent, whereas the lower half was of forced happiness. The top half of my face was of menacing intent, whereas the lower half was calm, cool and hilarious.

Baron, you may comedic relief.

_YO YO MY BITCHES WE BE TENSE UP IN DIS. _

Thank you Baron. That is all.

I walked at a slow pace, taking leisurely looks at Allen and Lenalee as I neared Rhode's door. She was looking at me expectantly, and when I was close enough to the door that I could have fallen into it by tripping, I stopped, and looked directly at Rhode. "After I leave with you, do you promise to let Allen and Lenalee go?"

She looked at me. "My~, my~, such a paranoid one aren't you? Of course I won't hurt them."

I crossed my arms. "I need more than just your word to go on."

She pouted. "Aw~, don't you trust me?"

I stared at her. "I wouldn't trust you with a sack of dirt let alone someone else's life."

Her pout fell and a frown took its place. "One could say the same thing about you."

I glared as viciously as I could at her face, but just like physics, every reaction has an equal and opposite reaction. That of course would imply that Rhode simply smiled back; she didn't.

"Fine then. I'll go with you…" I said. Rhode smiled, and seemed to take pleasure out of my suffering.

Well, I guess that makes her a second of my breed already; pleasure from pain, oh yeah.

Taking one step closer to the door, and another, and then another, I gave one last glance to Allen and Lenalee, Allen still had faith that I was going to turn back, and Lenalee had resigned to the fact that I wouldn't. Couldn't, even. I glared at Rhode, and she just gave me a smiled filled with equal venom, and plenty more joy.

Two more steps and I would be wherever the door leads to. Two more steps.

God damn it why do I have the sudden urge to listen to 'Defenders Of The Earth'? You'd think that my thinking process would be more linear…

_Just goes to show you're retarded._

One sec, editing Skype.

_Just goes to show I'm retarded._

_SCREW. YOU._

Ew, I'm not bi Baron. Besides, wouldn't that be the equivalent of reverse rape?

_You know what, yeah, sure, and Santa Claus is real, the Easter bunny takes annual SH*TS on my lawn and YO MOMMA isn't the size of Uranus._

Ha, you said anus. Smiley face.

_Do you still have a handgun in here? Or possibly even a knife?_

No, but I have nude pics from YO SLUTTY MOMMA.

_Really? So do I! She's such a whore, there's one pic in which she goes down on a Rhino-_

What?! YO MOMMA molested a Rhino?

_YEAH, YO MOMMA DID MOLEST A RHINO!_

RHINO'S HAVE RIGHTS!

_THEN THEY CAN SUCK MY DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE!_

BENJAMIN FRANKLIN!

_Fine then, ABRAHAM LINCOLNNNNNNN!_

MARILYN MANSONNNNNN!

_JESUSSSSSSSSSSSS!_

OPTIMUS PRIMMMMME!

_URIEL SEPTIMMMMMMM!_

MIRANDA LAWSONNNNNNNNN!

_SLADE WILSONNNNNN!_

BRUCE WAYNNNNNE!

_PETER PARKERRRRRR!_

VICTOR VON DOOMMMMMMM!

_JULIUS CAESARRRRRR!_

CLEOPATRAAAAAA!

_WHY ARE WE SHOUTING THE NAMES OF FAMOUS PEOPLLLLLLLLLLLLE?_

I DON'T REMEMBERRRRRRRRR!

_WHY ARE WE PRONOUNCING THE LAST SYLLABLE OF THE LAST WORDS IN OUR SENTENCES FOR ELONGATED PERIODS OF TIMMMMMMMMMME?_

DON'T KNOW THAT EITHERRRRRR!

_WHY DO WE SOUND AS THOUGH WE ARE IN PERFECT HARMONYYYYYYY?_

MAYBE WE SHOULD MAKE A BARBER SHOP DUETTTTTT!

_BUT THAT DOESN'T REALLY MAKE ANY SENSSSSSSSSSE!_

WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS CONVERSATIONNNNNNNN?

_I WOULD SHRUG BUT YOU CAN'T SEE ME SHRUG SO I'M SAYING THAT I DID, OKAAAAAAAAAY?_

ISN'T THERE SOMETHING IMPORTANT I SHOULD BE DOINNNNNNNNG?

_RIGHT, GO WITH RHODE OR ELSE SHE'LL KILL ALL YOUR LITTLE FRIENDDDDDDDS!_

WILCOOOOOOOOOO!

_ADAM JENSEN!_

SUCK IT BARON, I MEAN RED, F*CK!

And on that note I ended our conversation, our, really really _really _stupid conversation, but still a conversation none-the-less_._

I sighed, a sigh of deep thought and utter annoyance, brilliant acting is only out-matched by truth, and I would say that my brilliant acting was out-matched just then. I took one step closer to the door, dreading whatever was on the other side.

I clenched my fist, and looked back at Allen and Lenalee, goofy smile upon my face. "Allen, Lenalee, I'll be fine. I don't know how they treat their prisoners, and neither do you. For all you know, Rhode genuinely means what she's saying, and I'll be treated well." I said cheerily. I pointed at myself, and added "I promise to bring 'em back as soon as possible. No guarantees though, unless you get the five year warranty, at which point it DOES become a guarantee. However, you must make sure that the manager whom owns the store is not an alcoholic otherwise you will have to perform the moon-goddess ritua-"

"Can you just move it along?" Rhode said, agitated.

"Don't want to give this here little lady yet another reason to try and kill me then~~. Tata, Allen, Lenalee, I'll be back!" I said as I looked at Lenalee in particular. She could only stare back at me with pleading eyes, and I realised in a split second what she was going to do, and I shook my head just the smallest amount, physically saying "No need. I got this."

Lenalee looked about ready to cry, and Allen looked ready to explode with fury and dash straight through the field of candles and wrap his hand around Rhode's neck. Huh, "FUS RO DIE BITCH!"

Lenalee though looked torn as well, torn between obeying me and not doing what she planned on doing or disobeying me and doing what she planned on doing. I only hoped for both our sakes that she did the former.

Turning into a Noah just to go with me wouldn't be the most strategic thing to do today.

And so, unwillingly I assure you, I went with Rhode.

"NO! ADAM!" Allen shouted as my front half went through Rhode's door. I turned back, smiled and waved, blew a kiss and winked at Lenalee, and then finally glared at Rhode.

My head was the last thing that went through that door; therefore I could hear both Allen and Lenalee's desperate cries for me to come back.

But, I didn't. Yet. FOREVER.

Stepping out into a room I could only describe as luxurious and not blatantly used for torturing people was as big a shock to me as discovering that there was corn in popcorn. In short; I made a perfect 'O' with my mouth.

"Wait. _What?_" I blurted out. Seriously? I'm not in a torture chamber? Why?

Rhode stepped through milliseconds later and said "Did you really just assume that I was going to nab you and stuff you into a bag and throw you into a torture chamber and begin torturing you?" I stared incredulously at her.

"Yes?" Now it was her turn to stare.

"I swear, on my life, that I will not torture you." She said. "Again."

"So there isn't going to be torture?" I asked sceptically.

"Nope. None at all." She reassured.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"_Really _really?"

"Yes."

"Without any doubt whatsoever?"

"Yes." She said in a slightly strained voice.

"Cross your heart and hope to die?"

"Yes." I didn't need to see the inside of her mouth to know she was on the verge of grinding her teeth into non-existence.

"And no takebacks?"

"_Yes._" She said in a more so strained voice.

"_Really really really _cross your heart and hope to die?"

"_Yes_."

"_Really really really_ cross your heart and hope to die with no takebacks?"

"_Yes!_" She nearly shouted.

"_Really really really _cross your heart and hope to die with no takebacks and without any doubt whatsoever?"

"I SAID YES!" She shouted, fuming. "I WILL NOT TORTURE YOU!"

"Well sorrrrr-y. I was just asking a question! Geez, is the rest of your family this irritable? Or are you just a special case since you're currently menstruating?"

At that point, smoke and even fire were coming out of her ears. Good times were had by me.

"YOU, YOU, YOU-!" She didn't get to finish her statement.

"SERIOUSLY! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THESE MOTHERF*CKING EMOTIONS FROM YOUR MOTHERF*CKING MOUTH! YOU ARE HOPELESSLY IN-LOVE WITH ME! I GET IT! NOW SHOVE OFF!" I interrupted.

At this point, you could have played the benny hill music, since I was running for my life away from dozens of candles through the halls of the mansion. (I DEDOUCHED THAT THIS HOUSE ART MANSION – _Adam_) I sprinted and jumped up onto the ceiling and created mountain climbing boots for me to use to stick to it. I ran along the ceiling as the candles in an almost Hollywood-esq scene followed me like a fat kid after an ice-cream truck.

The thudding sounds of hot wax hitting woods got closer as time passed and in turn I ran faster. This cycle eventually continued until I reached the end of the hallway, at which point I couldn't stop my momentum and left a Looney Tunes style hole in the wall. But due to the design of the mansion, the hole didn't lead to the outside. On contraire me armoire, it lead to a _study._

Which had a _person_ in it.

That I had _landed_ on.

Woops.

I groaned involuntarily as I felt my whole body ache all over. Note to self; never, _ever, _run into a wall, ever again. Especially that hard and fast; this by the way is what she said. Smiley face. Sorry, humour isn't my thing when suffering from what I'm pretty sure was internal bleeding. And splinters. Lots, and lots of splinters. In some unsavoury parts of my body.

Back to the person that was staring at me like I was the devil though, I lifted my head to see who was giving me the nearly physically-felt glare (Hence why I could tell someone was staring at me at the time – _Adam_) and saw a familiar face. A very familiar face.

It was none other than **JESUS**. No, just kidding, it would have been pretty funny to have landed on Jesus though; instead I landed on boring old Tykki Mykk.

Oh, and my forehead was bleeding again. God damn it.

Tykki had me up against the wall faster than I could blink, and I actually _did _blink at the speed of which this man had at his disposal. "What are you doing here!?" he shouted.

See, the reason I wasn't responding my usual "DOING YO MOMMA"-esq joke was because I couldn't talk. Getting strangled by a strong-ass guy does that to ya.

I attempted feebly to remove Tykki's hands from my throat as everyone else in this kind of situation would, but also like everyone else in this situation it failed miserably. My vision was going grey at the edges; the general sign that I was going to pass out. Tykki pulled me off the wall and slammed me back into it; cracking it. Huh, "I smash my Exorcist back and forth, I smash my Exorcist back and forth, I smash my Exorcist back and forth."

Everything was becoming muddled, and during the enactment of 'Strangulation and Co' I could have sworn that Jesus was playing hopscotch with Abraham Lincoln in the background, when (Aaron Carter jumped – _Adam_) out of the blue my windpipe became clear and I dropped to the ground, gasping for breath like a Hippo (Lazy bastards – _Adam_) that had just ran a marathon.

Wha…what? What happened?

_In short? You got F*CKED UP by Tykki._

I was around for that part you know.

_Then why ask?_

Just cause.

_Grapple hook?_

Nope. Parachute.

_They make an effective combo you know._

I do.

_Right._

"Tykki~~. Don't harm him. He's a new family member~~." At the sound of Rhode's voice I regained my composure and stood up, gazing at the situation before me. Rhode was berating Tykki that much I could tell, and Tykki was standing there and taking it. It appears Tykki take all shit.

"He's _what?_" Tykki asked dubiously. Given the body language it was Tykki's time to berate._ "_Rhode! He's an Exorcist! You just can't go around and start claiming them as your personal pets by bringing them here! Take him back and place him where you found him _now._"

Rhode pouted, or someone drew black-lines on her face. I couldn't distinguish between the two possibilities given that the hand in front of my face (My own hand) was nearly impossible to recognise. "But Tykki~~. I think he could help us." Rhode replied.

This gave Tykki pause. "And what makes you think that?"

Rhode smiled or something similar to it. To reiterate; blurry as high hell vision from head-trauma makes everything kind of harder to see.

"He has the eyes of a killer and a Noah. He hates humanity just as much as any Noah, or possibly even more. Why he was an Exorcist I don't know, but it doesn't matter now. He can be a part of our family~~!" Her tone was interesting, but highly disturbing.

Tykki's face turned solemn. "It won't work you know."

Rhode looked at Tykki with questioning eyes. "What won't work?"

"Using him, to replace Neah." Rhode's face turned to a sad expression and you could feel the regret from Tykki roll off of him in waves. "Listen, I know I didn't care about him as much as you do, I don't think anyone could have, you have to know that whether you are doing this consciously or subconsciously, that this isn't coping. Not by a longshot." Tykki said comfortingly.

Rhode and Tykki stared at each other to the point in where I half expected them to leap onto each other and start screwing. With a huff I managed to stand back up, feeling a heck of a lot better. They both stared at me as I dusted myself off. "Alright, I see that I'm not welcome so I'll just be leav-" Cue candle to the leg. "OW! MY WOUNDS FROM THE LAST TIME YOU STABBED ME STILL HAVEN'T HEALED YOU KNOW! SO THIS HURTS A LOT MORE!" Mumbling an inaudible stream of profanity under my breath, I clutched my leg lovingly.

Rhode grinned. "You're a part of our family, and you have to act like it. And that means not running off like a stray dog, okay?"

"BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY I COULD RUN AWAY FROM THIS PLACE WITH A CANDLE IN MY LEG! THAT'S QUITE OBVIOUSLY THE MOST LOGICAL THING TO HAPPEN! DUH! THIS HURTS BY THE WAY!" I shouted.

Tykki's eye twitched noticeably. "You know, this could get annoying before long."

"THEN SODDING RELEASE ME! OTHERWISE I'M JUST GOING TO SHOUT 'TILL I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE!"

Tykki's gaze turned menacing, and his grin malicious. "Or you lack the items _to _talk."

"IF YOU'RE TRYING TO THREATEN ME, GO AHEAD! YOU CAN'T BREAK A BROKEN MAN! OW! SERIOUSLY! CAN SOMEONE GET BANDAGES?!"

"I'm not threatening you, _boy, _I'm promising you; shut up, before I cut it off for you."

"But Tykki~~, he's family," Rhode whined. For once, thank the lord that she's her- "don't maim him _too _badly." On second thought, screw you god, with afore mentioned screw. And a hatchet covered in lemon juice. That's on fire.

Tykki approached menacingly, and I panicked; my breathing quickened, my heart rate practically doubled, more so, and I could _feel _my bowels in motion if you know what I mean. "HEY! HEY! WE'RE BOTH ADULTS HERE, ER, SORT OF, CAN'T WE JUST TALK IT OUT!"

"Talking's the reason you're in this situation in the first place." You don't know how right you are Tykki Mykk. "You brought this on yourself."

A flame clone rushed to my aid and hauled me up, but far faster than I could ever hope to see Tykki extinguished the clone with a single blow. I conjured a platform to remove me from the ground and flee, similar to Aladdin using his flying carpet if you want a detailed explanation. Tykki moved faster than a Lawyer after an ambulance and without warning I was on the ground again, remnants of the carpet floating in mid-air. I pouted, and breathed out a sigh of both fatalism and relent.

"You won't let me go without a fight will you?" I asked through gritted teeth.

Tykki smirked sadistically as a battalion of armaments appeared behind him and prepared to fire on him. He had quite blatantly noticed given how his eyes had fluctuated towards his back. "You're free to try, boy."

I couldn't help but smirk. "Don't mind if I do."

And then we struck.

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**AN:** **Super duper with sprinkeles on top sorry that I didn't post this earlier. Lost my USB therefore couldn't transfer it. My friend actually broguht his over today so that's how this is being posted. Thank you, all of you for reading this chapter.**

**Laterz, I'm out.**


	28. Talking With The Earl: The Epic? I

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

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_Chapter 27_

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**AN: Once again apologies for not updating as soon as I could have. Honestly, I'm still getting back into the swing of things, and recently I've been demotivated to write since I've been browsing the most well-written stories via Tv-Tropes, and I believe we can all agree that when you read a variation of what you are writing only a thousand times better, it makes you and your product feel...lacklustre, to the extreme. That's my own personal thought however; I will not persecute you for explaining your own opinion on such matters. **

**But that's just me rambling. ONWARDS WITH THE STORY!**

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You know, it's the simple things in life that make it great. And I'm pretty sure getting your ass beat isn't one of them.

At this point, I was dead-set sure that Tykki was messing with me. It was like a game of Whack-a-Noah only minus any chance of winning. Basically, our fight boiled down to me getting up, me attempting to attack, and then immediately getting knocked back down again. Speaking of which…

Tykki came at me hard and fast; faster than even a blur he hit me, and sent me sprawled onto the floor. I raised myself with a flame helping hand only to Tykki Punched back down.

Yeah, times that sentence to the max and you'd get what the past 2 hours of my life has been like.

"I didn't realise you'd be _this _weak, boy." Tykki said as his fist collided into my aching frame. Again. Seriously! This guy is a f*cking spawn camper!

"They say good things." Cue cough. "Come in badass packages. Since I am the opposite of that, I am therefore your worst nightmare." Cue third punch to the face. "AT LEAST LET ME GET UP YOU SODDING ASSHOLE!"

Tykki grimaced. "Why don't you cut down on the swearing? It's getting truly bothersome, _boy._"

"SUCK MY ASS TYKKI! IF YOU WANT ME TO CUT DOWN ON THE SWEARING THEN YOU'D HAVE TO REMOVE MY OESOPHAGUS-" You know, the little thing called common logic? Like, the thing I really should have been using at the time? Well, common logic dictates that you shouldn't give sadists ideas. And I kind of gave Tykki one.

Cue Tykki's hand being literally _inside _my throat.

"UGH! URK! AOIGHWIBJBALBGWBGIABIGOHBGIH Bb-" Excuse the incorrect grammar; kind of hard to speak when someone's hand IS LITERALLY INSIDE OF YOUR F*CKING THROAT.

Tykki took pleasure in seeing me wriggle and writhe with his hand in my throat. It didn't take the world's greatest detective to figure that out.

"I could just kill you now, _boy._" Tykki gloated.

"STOP SFGHSIOJCBGI JME GDMAI! UNLESJGBHIA AIDH ALPABT T I GAI HBUAG BENDW KA TP E BPEAGTI JDEBAMN1!" – official translation – "STOP STRANGELING ME! UNLESS I SOMEHOW BECAME A PLANT IN THE LAST FIVE MINUTES I NEED OXYGEN TO BREATH DAMNIT!"

"What, no witty remark, _boy_? I would have expected at least that from you."

"I FAOUU SUR AHOTH KIBAWD AFKO A RAE THE SI GHAEB BTUB AI AIUFHWOD LMADJ WAISIE IS A IELKGABIWN!" – official translation – "I don't know what kind of rape this is but I know this has got to be illegal somehow!"

Tykki's other hand went into my chest cavity and slowly moved lower. "GIA WA AL—EGJI AADB WAIUJ CALL IGNKan tu hr[!" – Official translation – "GO ANY FARTHER SOUTH AND I'M SCREAMING PAEDOPHILE AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS!"

It settled around my diaphragm. "I've never killed a person before by removing their diaphragm."

"AGOIWHOIGI GOAIHIW FOQ!" – Official translation – "GOOD FOR YOU!"

"Want to be the first to die this way?" His ordinarily sadistic grin became far more so, and for the first time in a lonnnnnng while, I felt a very, _interesting _feeling. And not attraction; this isn't some weird-ass fanfic sicko's.

I felt fear. Not the kind that's unbridled, or whittled away by years of combat experience. But a mix of the two; one in which I was just as sure that I was going to die as I wasn't.

If you're wondering why Rhode wasn't stopping this scene; she had gone to inform the Earl that I was here, since she was his favourite more or less they (They being Tykki whom was having oh so much fun beating me senseless at the time and Rhode was watching and cheering him on) had decided that she should inform him of my being here.

Basically, I'm going to die while Rhode's busy giving the Millennium Earl a lap dance.

My vision began greying at the edges, and the dizzying/frightening feeling of going into unconsciousness was overwhelming me. Tykki was showing no signs of relenting, and was seconds away from removing my Diaphragm. All attempts at using a flame based weapon were foiled the second Tykki moved out of the way. My oxygen was wavering, my vision was declining, and I was about to die.

I had a favour to ask.

Baron, dying here. Any chance you can unlock my inner Noah strength or something and HELP ME?

_One sec, I need to finish this match. HA! I GOT A BINARY RIFLE!_

BARON STOP PLAYING HALO 4 AND HELP ME DAMN IT!

_Ha ha, suck it Blues! Red team pwns!_

F*CKING HELP ME!

_Teabag~~~~. Heheheh, serves you right camping noob!_

DYING! HELP ME!

_Alright, MVP of the match! Not too shabby. My KDR could use a little work though._

Tykki's hand gripped my Diaphragm tighter, and I realised I was running on borrowed time most certainly.

IF I DIE YOU DO TO BARON!

_Just five more minutes servant! Geez, can't you be patient? I'm seriously like thirty seconds away from getting another match. After that match, we can talk._

I'M NOT GOING TO LAST FIVE MORE SECONDS! TYKKI IS STRANGELING ME AND ABOUT TO CRUSH MY DIAPHRAGM! HELP ME!

_Why didn't you say so?_

I F*CKING DID!

_I'm feeling generous today. I'm just going to let that one slide and help you, m'kay?_

I. AM. DYING!

_Alright, alright hard ass. I'll just unlock your inner Noah strength and let you go about your business then._

Thank you. Also, F*CK. YOU.

Just as the Baron Scrolls foretold, my whole body felt renewed with strength, and removing Tykki's hand from my throat was simple. I pushed myself off of Tykki quicker than even _he _could dream of moving, and flew through the air with a stylish back flip and landed standing upright. But faster than the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow, pain shot up through every single part of my body, and my whole frame became paralysed with agony. I couldn't even move my mouth and force air out of lungs to scream.

What. Is. This.

_Should I have mentioned that the reason I don't let you use your maximum strength 100% of the time is because you are literally physically incapable of using that much power? Because I feel like I should have._

Maybe. Baron. But. Can't. Talk. Now. Agony. And. Stuff.

Speaking of agony, I fell over onto the ground as gravity took its course. Oh gravity, though art a heartless b*tch.

With blurry vision, you tend to miss things. The things that I missed? Tykki closing in for the kill; him getting stopped by the Millennium Fatass (I'm not fat; you all are just too skinny –_ Baron_) who had come to see me for himself, and the picking up of me that caused my blurry vision to become less so.

The Earl hoisted me over his shoulder that much I could tell, but past the sensation of extremely comfortable to lay on flesh, I couldn't remember. My vision grew darker and darker until the point in where closing my eyes was the same as keeping them open, and my consciousness got thrown out the window.

And then baby, everything went black. (Die, die, we all pass away. Except for Noah, whom reincarnate! – _Baron_)

Waking up in a room so expensive it might as well as have been made of money and in a bed that felt like it was missing the three other people it was obviously designed to accommodate, was needless to say _weird._

Like, if you've ever jumped in front of a bus, and Satan was driving was it, and there was a dead frog on the front of it, and there was fire instead of a windscreen. That's how weird it was.

I involuntarily groaned as a dull ache racked every bone in my body. Note to self; do not rush enemy with melee. It hurts like a cow getting f*cked up with a screwdriver and a lemon. That's on fire.

I felt my forehead and was immediately terrified at the feeling of no-bandage-ness. Although, the Stigmata seemed to have stopped trying to force their way through my forehead it seemed, for the time being. Or, maybe those sons of guns were preparing a sneak attack, and secretly, they were going to come out on my neck and wrists, therefore quite literally cutting me off from the resources I need to survive. BRILLIANT! I felt like shouting out, but my throat was still too sore from having Tykki's hand in it.

I gingerly ran a hand over my throat, and could only imagine just how close I was to death. Yet again because of my big mouth; in my defence….if I didn't say it, then the universe would have exploded.

I stared at the door, half-expecting the Millennium Earl to burst through and realise that he has met me before, shortly before killing me. Another half was expecting Tykki to come though and finish the job he started on my diaphragm. The final half was expecting, or rather, hoping, that both of them would come through with cake and sing a song that I know and we all party until I die from Alcohol poisoning, as I completely expect my luck to be.

That of course was my pessimistic fiftieth. My _other _two thousandth-

The door creaked open to reveal a familiar face, the face that Baron used to have, the face I recognised even in a rain storm, since that doesn't actually obscure your vision at all so that's why I would still recognise him, and most certainly the face I will end up having.

The Millennium Earl.

There's probably an epic quote that blows anything away that I'll use to describe this situation, so I'll just say this. It was…intimidating, scary, nerve-wracking and funny to see the Millennium Earl all at the same time. Intimidating because, well, he's the f*cking Millennium Earl, the guy who can blow up an entire _region_ with a just a flick of his wrist. Wouldn't you be scared of a man like that? Scary since the man exuded wickedness and creepiness given his trademark grin. Seriously, you'd think he was a rapist with an aura like that…oh my god I just realised it. THE MILLENNIUM EARL IS A CHILD MOLESTOR. HE'S GOT THE GRIN AND KIDNAPPING CHILD PART DOWN, THEREFORE HE MUST BE. Wait, if I will have that face in the future….

Oh. Em. Gee. The universe is telling me, that I'll become A PAEDOPHILE! NOOOOO! Well, Rhode IS hitting on me relentlessly….funny however, because I now have to pay my twelfth fifty bucks that the Millennium Earl was the one to come here. Back to the conversation though, it hadn't begun yet so I made it begin, so to speak.

"Are you just going to stare at me all day or are you going to ask your questions, Earl?" I asked inattentively.

This seemed to snap the Earl out of his trance, and he quickly followed up with a question. "Ahhh~~, so good to see you again~~~. How have the Exorcists treated you?"

There were several things to analyse from this conversation, or at least, his opening lines. He spoke like I was an old friend; so he isn't downright _pissed _at me, I know that much. When he asked me about my lifetime at the Order, he said how 'have' instead of how 'are', as in past tense. Basically, in his mind, I was already a pawn in his game. That scruffy, arrogant, nerf-herder!

"I'm still waiting on the torture, Earl. If listening to you talk is it, I must say that I'm close to my breaking point already." I dissed. (Adam, that isn't even a word you s'wit. – _Baron_) (Neither is s'wit. You got that from the Elder Scrolls series! And besides that, according to thesaurus dissed IS a word, so suck it! – _Adam_)

The Earl remained calm, but I could swear that the slightest bit of annoyance was seeping through his eyes and his grin. "Now now Adam~~, no need to be so petulant~~. I'm only trying to be nice."

"The day the Millennium Earl stops sucking his own proverbial – within his family at least - dick is the day I forgive my Innocence, jackass." I retorted.

Again, annoyance was seeping out in slightly more minimal amounts via both his eyes and his grin. "We're here for you Adam~~, a family of people that are willing to care for another of their kind~~. You may not be Noah on the outside, but whether you want to admit it or not, you are on the inside. It doesn't take a brain such as yours to figure that much out~~. Now why won't you open up to me~~? Is it really that hard to let someone else into your guilt ridden heart?"

I widened my eyes, shocked. "What would you know of my guilt?"

The Earl's grin and eyes stopped seeping annoyance and started leaking triumph. "That you have plenty of it, that you're ashamed of what you've done. I've been around the block many more times than anyone else on this god-forsaken earth, so I know just from a glance that you carry a burden unbeknownst to most~~." His grin widened considerably, and he moved closer towards me, and sat on a chair in front of the bed. From the side, our forms would have been in-sync with our same posture and oozing anger. "But, I know the look in your eyes is an intelligent one. You've realised that it's foolish to wish it never happened, albeit you still regret it, and instead you wish that you no longer felt guilty. You wish that you didn't have a conscious. You _want _to kill without regard for friend or foe. You _want _to be a psychopath." He leaned forward in his deluxe chair. "And that is why you are Noah on the inside."

I leaned forward in my bed, anger and shame flowing mercilessly from my face. "It takes one to know one, isn't that the expression? Tell me you aren't stupid enough to not understand that at least?"

"Yes, that is the expression."

"Does it apply to this situation?" The second I said those words, the temperature in this room dropped to half of what it was, the air itself seemed to die and be cooler than a cold embrace, and the Earl's grin faltered for just a second. But a second was enough for what I was looking for. The air came back to life and the room regained its temperature immediately after said second however.

"That's what I thought." I said.

The Earl's grin returned in force. "Now that that is all said and done, the offer is still standing. You can join us, and be with people like yourself. Or, you can attempt to escape, and if you succeed, you can go back to a place in which you'll persecuted for who you are. Your choice, Adam~~."

Blue pill or red pill? That's what this fat Morpheus was asking of me. Red pill being staying with the Noah family, and blue pill being going back to those I care about most. Seems simple, does it not?

But…

…The Earl had a point, and I was nothing if not a person for logical arguments. Stigmata were popping back and forth, into and out of my forehead, and if it was ever discovered then yes, I would be persecuted. Here, I would be with people that understood me, that recognised me for who I was, not the Exorcist façade I had been pulling for years now. I would be known as Adam, the teenager with flame conjuring Innocence in the shape of physical objects with a dark sense of humour that had a relentless bloodlust akin to a vampires and a tongue as hot as my flames. The mask would come off, and for once in my life I wanted people to see what lay underneath. To know _me, _not the holier-than-thou Exorcist with an aim to protect everyone, even those that don't deserve to be saved, is what I wanted people to do.

Is it wrong to want others to care about you? Even at the cost of a part of yourself?

_Eh, possibly. Depends on the kind of caring, servant._

Oh, Baron, perfect timing. I got a moral decision for you.

_Alright, shoot._

The Millennium Earl is asking me to join his family, and I have to option to refuse and go back to the Black Ord-

_Say yes._

You didn't even let me explain the situation!

_Don't need to hear the unimportant details just accept._

I'm trying to make a serious decision here and I wouldn't mind having advice from someone five hundred times my age!

_YO MOMMA IS FIVE HUNDRED TIMES MY AGE!_

WHAT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ABOUT THE WORDS 'SERIOUS' AND 'DECISION'?

_WHAT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ABOUT THE WORDS 'F*CKING' AND 'ACCEPT'?_

WHAT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ABOUT THE WORDS 'F*CK' AND 'YOU'?

_ONLY THAT YO MOMMA SAID THE FOREMOST SHORTLY BEFORE 'ME HARDER!' LAST NIGHT!_

YO MOMMA IS SO SLUTTLY, WHEN THEY SAY SHE GETS AROUND TOWN, THEY MEAN SHE RAPED EVERYONE! EVEN THE FAMILY PETS!

_YO MOMMA IS SO MUCH OF A VEGAN AND CARBON NEUTRAL THAT WHEN SHE SH*TS TREES COME OUT!_

YO MOMMA IS SO VEHICULAR WHEN THEY SAY SHE GIVES PEOPLE MOTORBOATS THEY MEAN SHE TIED THEM TO A MOTORBOAT AND LET 'EM LOOSE!

_YO MOMMA IS SO ILLOGICAL THAT TERMINAL VELOCITY DOESN'T AFFECT HER!_

THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE!

_YES IT DOES! THINK OF IT THIS WAY!_

_We know gravity to be gravity because we know it; since we believe in gravity to start with we are given constant reminders that it exists due to our own minds playing trickery with our thought processes, meaning that we can never realise or even truly believe that gravity doesn't exist because it doesn't in our minds eye or possibly even eyes if you wear mind glasses._

…WUT. THE. F*CK.

_Perfect logic is it not?_

You know what…yes, that was the single most Jesus monkey unconquerable vapid speech of incalculable dystopian aardvark level of promiscuous authority and protracted entanglement of monopoly.

…_Touché._

Since this conversation became nothing more than retardation in a can I'm going to just say goodbye and think over the Earl's proposition some more, 'kay?

_You can always say yes; it'll be better than pondering for how many hours it takes for you to realise that you're going to say yes._

For once, you make sense. And on that note I ended our conversation.

I sighed, and gazed at the ceiling. "Earl, where I not an Exorcist, I'd follow you, I know that much. But." I averted my gaze back to the Earl, and continued with a smirk plastered on my face. "I'm an Exorcist. It's my job to protect humanity, no matter how much I don't want to."

The Earl tilted his head. "So you choose to obediently follow god, with no free will if your own?"

"Not…entirely." I admitted.

"That's rather beneath you, wouldn't you agree?"

"Admittedly, yes. But, also admittedly, I understand right from wrong. And it is most certainly wrong to kill innocents."

"Innocence is the greatest illusion known to man. There ARE no innocent people on this earth; only people with all their flaws."

I shrugged. "True. But within grey, there are many shades. Are you telling me that a child who wants nothing more than to help those in need deserves to die? Children who have never done anything intentionally to harm others deserve to die, even?"

"I have yet in all my years to meet such children."

"Then you really need to expand your group of victims."

The Earl raised an eyebrow. "I'm sorry?"

I shook my head. "Nothing. I'd agree with the extermination of serial killers and those of that calibre, as they brought it upon themselves, but children? Who haven't done anything extreme enough to warrant death? And you say just because they aren't perfect they must die. That to me is not logic. It's the words of an insane man determined to kill all because he's just angry at life. The words, of a sore, _sore_ loser."

The Earl's grin turned intrigued. "Oh? You say that I am a sore loser for fighting for what I believe in. Then what does one call you? The one of whom lays down his life for a cause that was never worth fighting for?"

"I call that difference of opinion. I call that something we will never agree on, because to me, you are an insane monster."

The Millennium Earl's grin changed into malice. "Has this conversation turned towards yourself? Or am I still the subject of your words?"

I was speechless. Was I really speaking of myself? I looked down at the bed, hair covering my eyes. I am a smidge of a self-loather as I have stated previously, but truly? Did I perceive myself as insane?

"Even." I began. "Even _if_, I was speaking of myself for a second there, my point still stands. I won't be convinced otherwise, because I whole-heartedly believe that you are evil."

"What, _IS, _evil?" The 1st apostle who-was-currently-alive-and-not-in-the-process-of-becoming-Noah asked.

I shrugged, and chuckled. "Dozens if not hundreds of great men have pondered that question, and they have almost always agreed on one thing; that you can't define it, but those smart enough to will recognise it when they see it."

The leader of the Noah clan grinned wider; if that was possible. "You see us as evil. I don't necessarily disagree with that point of view."

I blinked a few times in surprise. "Y-you don't?!"

The Millennium Count chuckled. "You seem surprised boy. Surprised that I am open-minded, or surprised that I agree with at least one thing that you have to say?"

I wondered his words for a few moments before responding "A little of both."

"Of course. I suppose, if I was in your position, I'd be surprised the person that I had been raised to hate was reasonable as well."

I elevated an eyebrow at the Millennium Earl. "Who said I was 'raised' to hate you?"

The main villain of this story leaned back in seat, meeting small but quite audible groans of protest from the furniture, and elaborated. "Indoctrination is not an uncommon practice within the Black Order. I have run numerous tests; and all have reached the same result. Released into the air of the Black Order HQ and all other branches, are pheromones made with the specific purpose of promoting grudges and anger towards Akuma and Noah. The people of the highest self-proclaimed level of divinity are undoubtedly the ones that felt the need to augment their troops via these air-born mind-altering substances. Were Leverrier not the man for experiments on non-Exorcists and dead Exorcists in order to revive them, then there would be no reconsidering my choice; I'd instantly assume that he did it. But. _But_. Leverrier thinks of Exorcists as unimaginably important in this war; along one line of thought, he is right to assume so. On another, he is entirely wrong. Fire against fire is the most sure-fire way to defeat fire. Monster versus monster, abomination versus abomination is a proven concept, but is the price worth paying is often the question asked of it." You know what I said about Allen for president? F*CK THAT! Get this guy in the white house; the thirty seconds it'd take for him to destroy it would be the greatest reign of presidency in all of history!

I stared, dumbstruck at the Earl, mentally incapable of absorbing what he just said but trying so regardless. "Wait wait wait wait. You mentioned someone known as Leverrier, who is that, and pheromones in the atmosphere at all the branches and at the HQ. How long have those been there? What other things have they done in the name of god?"

Adam, the 1st apostle, a.k.a the Millennium Earl placed his gaze upon my face, and began talking. The trained eye could easily have caught the confidence within the Earl's grin; and most surely inside of his warm stare.

**_He had caught his prey; like a moth to a flame._**

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**AN: Heh, hoped that satisfied your cravings for now! I honestly don't know when this will be updated. It isn't life that makes this unperdictable; it's the fact that demotivation turns to motivation in a flash. I will quite literally one minute want to write this, and the very next would leave my opinion of my writing as 'distasteful; useless'. But fug it, I'll write 'till my fingers fall off, and then duct tape them to my hands and use it to type some more! HUZZAH!**

**Until we meet again dear, dear readers. I'll be watching~~.**


	29. Meeting Moore: Through A Fisting Glass

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

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_Chapter 28_

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**AN: ****Wazzup readers? I've been meaning to apologise for not updating as soon as was possible. To write a chapter a week is more or less all I've been capable of writing recently, unfortunately. I also apologise if Allen seems OOC at the end of the chapter. That's just my interpretation of how he'd act in such a situation as the one he's currently in; that being Adam missing and him incapable of doing anything for the time being.**

**I want to thank LoneWolf685 for his/her encouragement towards writing, so I'd just like to dedicate this chapter especially to him/her.**

**So yeah, thanks for all the fav's, the follow's, and the reviews. You all have kept me going. I won't forget this.**

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"Is….that a fact…" Words escaped me as the Earl's words poured into me. He explained many experiments in excruciating detail to me, each experiment more gruesome than the last.

2nd Exorcists (Which had me mentally singing the FMA: B opening 'Rain' all the while.), their planned project 3rd Exorcists, their attempts at cloning (**AN: **I apologise for this AN so quickly into the story but I'd like to explain some things. I will be making fictional events in the storyline as long as I deem them needed. A good plot or storyline is achieved via an extremely interweaved arcs and character pasts/present/future. Therefore, if I believe that someone like Leverrier would do a certain action, I will add said action if it adds to the plot. I'm more or less foreshadowing cloning. Will it be soon? Possibly. Will it ever happen? Most certainly. The second and final thing I wanted to say was the simple fact that whilst you all may have a theory as to what the memories Adam is experiencing are, trust me when I say that that isn't his only concern. There are far more devious things at work here than merely Noah memories.) and their attempts at time travel, which I have first-hand experience that they won't make until the day I test it out a hundred odd years from now. Basically, _everything._

Of course, the Earl ran through the chicken experiments, which I could only remember with the same horror as last time I heard of the atrocities committed against chickens. I'll put it this way; I laugh at a person getting turned into an Akuma, and I found the stories scary beyond belief. The Earl remembered them with delight however. There were the parts which we both ended up laughing at, as would any person with a sense of humour such as mine, and his, would do.

I do not believe most would stomach what I called 'comedy gold', so for sanity's sake I will not mention it. Ever.

…But as a precautionary measure, so that no one ever asks, it involves amputees, cancer, and brutally murdering a rabbit with a butterknife.

I am _dead_ serious.

And yes, that pun was my attempt at associating this memory with pain.

Obviously, speaking to _the_ Millennium Earl, and hearing pretty much every reason to hate the Order _ever_, would take a hell of a lot out of anyone. Therefore, immediately after the Earl finished explaining I asked if I could have spare time to think his offer over, to which he agreed.

Deafening seconds of silence after the Earl closed the door to the room I was in later, I sighed. I sighed again, only louder a couple seconds later. This pattern continued until sighing had turned into shouting of profanity of all colourful languages (I was swearing in all languages I knew swear words in, basically – _Adam_)(You wouldn't believe the amount of words Servant has in his colourful vocabulary – _Baron_)(You wouldn't believe the amount of Child Porn is in his room – _Adam_)(Why where you in my room? – _Baron_)(I think the better question is why you didn't deny the accusation – _Adam_)(… - _Baron_) and I ended up saying things too random to be coherent.

"FUCING (Yes, I yelled the word 'fucing' (Pronounced 'fuce-ing') at the top of my lungs instead of 'fucking'. Problem?) VOETSAK FOKOF QALAB WIGHEK AIRY FIC KAWED ROOH ENTAK YA KAHBA YA MIBOUN KHOSH FI TEIZI KANNST DU DICH BITTE SCHLEICHEN MOOOOOOO MOTHERFUCKING MOO OH LOOK I'M A FUCKING COW AND I'M FUCKING SAYING MOO BECAUSE I FUCKING CAN! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO -deep breath-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! QUACK! QUACK! ANIMAL FUCKING NOISES TO THE EXTREME! FUCKING MEOW! MEOW! MEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW! PRETZELS AND DEEZ NUTS IN A FUCKING BLENDER ON FUCKING FIRE WITH JESUS AS THE TOPING AND ABRAHAM LINCOLN AS THE HAM SINCE IT'S OBVIOUS HE REALLY WAS ONE! (He has the word ham in his name! What other proof do you need? – _Adam_) LOOK AT YOUR CEILING! NOW BACK TO ME! BACK AT YOUR CEILING! NOW BACK TO ME! I'M ON A FLOOR!" And with that I fell onto the floor, cuddled into the fetal position in the corner, still seething with anger but temporarily sedated for now.

I couldn't tell you the length of time I spent on the floor; only by the time I stopped internally debating over the Earl's offer the sunlight pouring in had stopped, and was replaced by a low-level amount of moonlight. Amongst the warring sides of my mind deciding what plan would be best for escape if need be additionally in my mind, I noticed that the whole time I had been staring inattentively at the door. More than likely waiting for the Earl and/or Tykki to come in and kill me, despite the Earl's offer having the chance that he talked to his other family members and told them to eliminate for the time being their feelings of anguish towards me attached to it.

I groaned (Which HURT) as I touched my throat. It was _burning_ from the amount of shouting I did. I needed a glass of water, something, _anything _that would stop the utter agony plaguing my oesophagus. I reluctantly removed myself from my corner, the Adorner as I had nicknamed it literally that second, and walked with a steady but anxious pace towards the bathroom. Or what I assumed was the bathroom, given that it would explain what the random door opposite of the entrance was. Upon opening the door, I discovered my assumptions were right; a fully-fledged bathroom was inside of the room. I face palmed when I realised that there were no glasses in the bathroom, after all, why would there be?

I couldn't grumble profanities at my own stupidity, obviously, but I did the next best thing. I created a flame clone that did for me, and let him disperse after it was all said and done. Logic (Protocol – _Adam_) dictates action, of course.

Stop looking at me like that. I'm not crazy. YOU'RE CRAZY!

I realised before long that I was staring at the entrance, and my exit, if I truly intended to get a glass of water, hesitant to leave. I stroked my face, incapable of sighing due to agony, and took one unimaginably reluctant step forward.

I stopped before I took the second step towards the door. I had two options. One of them being waiting here until, something happens I guess, and the other being to go outside and get a glass of water. Whilst the foremost is the most boring of both, chances are if I decide to leave, I might meet Tykki again, and if I do, I can say bye-bye to all my internal organs, which includes my sack since Tykki does seem like the type to effectively take 'payment' for 'services administered over a longer period of time than needed.' Maybe he was a banker in a previous life, a serial killer or both.

So, sack removed or monotony, so hard to choose…it's unballsable, the choice I mean. It's like a big ol' stick of wood, and it's pretty hard to break it apart into sections and work the individual shafts into one almighty climax of a single answer; the prickly one, but none the less right one.

Dick.

Man pride jokes aside, I actually managed to come to a decision, a decision I was pretty sure at the time I would regret but went ahead with anyway. Heh, no sack removal no game, right?

I was _two steps away_ from the door when I couldn't help but feel a sense of déjà vu, and quirked an eyebrow. "Is anyone else getting a sense of déjà vu? No? So it's just me. Alright then." I rasped.

I breathed in deeply and stole a glance both ways before crossing the threshold of the door, tiptoeing just to be on the safe side. To anyone watching, it might have resembled a scene from The Mask, in which the man with the mask (Jim Carry played him but for the life of me I can't remember his name) was tiptoeing like an idiot through the hallways of the hotel he was in. Personally, I find idiot offensive; I believe, 'sensibility challenged' to be better.

So, acting like a complete and utter sensibility challenged person as I walked through the halls, I managed to reach, despite mindless wandering, the kitchen in no time. I suspected Baron's memories had guided me, but he was silent the whole time, so he didn't give me any clarification.

I just managed to acquire a glass from a cupboard, and was sneaking back when I couldn't stop myself from having the sensation of someone watching me. I gave a fleeting glance over my shoulder only to be met by emptiness. I could have sworn…

_THUMP._

"OW! WHAT THE Hell…." My voice dropped dramatically in pitch and volume as I saw who I had bumped into.

Officer Moore Hesse.

Now, from information ascertained from both Baron and the future telling documents, I could deduce, with reasonably accuracy what Noah Moore probably was. And let me tell you; it wasn't the Noah of comfort or love or cuddles or something equally queer.

She was the Noah of Wrath, which meant that in any second she would be trying to kill me.

I believe a profanity is in order.

"Shit." I barely managed to get out before I stood up, and calmly backed away. Moore still looked dazed, before it donned on her and her face twisted in anger.

"HEY! YOU BUMPED INTO ME YOU INDIGNANT ASS! COME OVER HERE AND APOLOGISE RIGHT NOW!"

Did she learn the definition of indignant on the back of a candy wrapper?

Her words didn't slow me down the slightest bit; I quickly dashed back the way I came, towards my more or less room for the time being.

Cue the sound of footsteps pursuing me.

This only caused me to run faster; nothing like having the threat of the worst beating of your life to get you running and the adrenaline pumping.

I blurred around the corner and continued sprinting; but my pursuer was always an equal distance behind me, no matter what I did. Moore was more than likely higher on the endurance tree, as any second now I was going to slow down and she was going to keep running after me at the same speed, until we met. And I don't know about you, but I prefer having a cerebral cortex.

Soon enough, my body was slowing down as I dashed around another corner, and continued in my desperate attempt to escape. Although, if I could just get her to be around the corner at the same time I hide in my room, then I could effectively escape…

I put my haphazardly done plan into fruition, and moved through the halls towards my room. I arrived faster than you could say "OMFG I'M BEING CHASED BY A CRAZY BITCH" and led her around the corner, smiling as I opened the door and closed it quietly but quickly. I listened attentively to the sound; dead set in believing my heart was going to give me away with how loud it was thumping.

Footsteps…..several more as she ran by the door…

…Silence…

…Silence…

…Footsteps, slower this time…going towards the door…

…Silence…

…Silence…

…Footsteps, leading away from the door…

…Silence…

…Silence…

…Silence…

…Silence…

…Silence…

I breathed out a breath I didn't realise I was holding and backed off from the door. That was close, she almost found me. Hopefully she doesn't just burst through the door. I glanced at the door before returning my sight to the room. Huh, I've jinxed myself and nothing has happened. Thank Christ. That was clo-

_THUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHU MPTHUMPTH-CRASH!_

You know what, Christ can suck my ass, and he can have a three-way with Moses whilst he's at it. It appears fate just needed a good ol' second press of the button to royally screw me over.

Staring at Moore's hulking frame as the dust gradually dissipated, I came to realise just how _FUCKED _I was. Here was the Noah of Wrath, angrier than a wasp left after a one night stand, about to rip me several new ones. And not necessarily just for my ass.

A hand came into view, and I closed my eyes as I waited for the eventual head and spine ripped out-ness.

…Instead, I could feel a warm, firm hand on my shoulder. Wha-

"WHY DID YOU RUN INSTEAD OF APOLOGISE!? ANSWER ME THAT YOU LITTLE EXORCIST SNOB!"

If she was going to hurt me, it wasn't showing. She was still as a rock, angry as a wasp but still as a rock regardless. I blinked before I realised that I might have misjudged her. Maybe she really _isn't _the Noah of Wrath. Or maybe she just isn't as violent as people make her out to be.

Well, _some _people.

_In my defence, all Noahs of Wrath I met had sticks up their asses that they removed and used to beat people to death with on a daily basis._

Yeah, sure Baron. You just keep telling yourself that. And I'm sure that there is such a thing as souls trapped in living people. I'll bet you five bucks that that'll never be true.

_Hm…deal. How about five bucks that we'll meet clones?_

Five bucks that we won't? Deal. A fiver that we do something awesome by the end of the ark arc?

_That is also a deal; in the sense that I bet five against it. What about a plot twist involving Allen and your past?_

I bet against that also. Five moolah that I don't end up with Lenalee.

_Five that you do. Another five that you end up with me._

I'm sorry WHAT?!

…_You admitted that you were bi-curi-_

SLIGHTLY bi-curious Baron, SLIGHTLY. Doesn't mean I'm just going to start handing out free happy endings like a man-whore. What kind of suave man do you take me for?

_The one that's completely full of himself._

…What were we talking about again?

_I don't know. I'm just continuing this conversation because there is something I've been meaning to talk about._

Oh? And what is that? Plot development?

_Pfft, you wish. I've been meaning to talk about the times in which our first conversations took place._

During the courtroom, and a bit before that, yeah, what about it?

_During your false trial, I mentioned that you must have remembered Rhode from my memories. I have recently realised that this must be wrong._

Why?

_My knowledge is yours; not the other way around. It must have been something about _you _that remembered Rhode. Simple._

And now we're back to arguing that I've somehow met Rhode before, in the future/past. I heard you the first time Baron and after all this time I still find it just as unlikely. I like to think I'd remember meeting someone so madly in love with me.

_One would imagine that you of all people understand the impossibility; given that you are just what again? A time traveling Exorcist that also happens to be the reincarnation of the 1__st__ apostle?_

…I see your point, Baron. But I thought I'd just let you know that children probably shouldn't be able to see it, all legal things considered, if you know what I mean.

…_Has the humour really dried up to the point in where you have no choice but to call me a paedophile twice within the same chapter?_

I think so. That, and I just died a little of the inside. BRB, killing self.

_Same here. Bye._

You probably get the idea about notes and conversation endings.

A certain _sensibility challenged_ individual aside, Moore was glaring at me harshly, and her grip tightened considerably. I yelped in pain and knelt as I could practically feel my shoulder being shattered into pieces, bit by bit.

"APOLOGISE FOR BUMPING INTO ME! APOLOGISE!" At this point, a fist collided into my face with each 'apologise' asked of me. "APOLOGISE! APOLOGISE! APOLOGISE! APOLOGISE! APOLOGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS E!" At the last, overly enunciated 'ise' in apologise, she went to town on my face, and I could only form a flame barrier in defence. (Well, that escalated quickly – _Adam_)

It didn't last long, and neither did my consciousness. Pretty soon during the barrage, I was noticing the edges of my visions begin to contract towards the centre, and briefly panic washed over me as I realised that I was close to passing out. Honestly, I need a membership discount for 'Unconscious 'r' us' so that I can get a free sub for every dozen times I pass out. Ooooh, maybe even a fifty percent off of my medical bill for the next haemorrhage I obtain. That'd be pretty sweet. Maybe even a Kiss Kasket if push comes to shove. I love livin', but this makes the alternative look pretty damn good.

Nothing seemed to faze her; no matter how many weapons my flames conjured and utilised, they did nothing beyond damaging her clothing. If anything, it gave her the appearance of being _more _pissed off than previously. As her fist struck yet again, the blackness was almost all consuming, and I made one last item to stop her.

A flame replica of the Millennium Earl.

Cue Baron helping me with adjusting the voice to be an exact copy.

"My, my~~. Moore, didn't I mention that I wished the newest member not to be harmed?" Tone, pitch, tempo, Baron and I had his voice down pat. Now, to just get her off of me. "Release him. Now." The flame replica said forcefully.

Moore nearly jumped out of her skin and quickly let go of my shoulder, letting me flop to the ground, undignified as I played the part of the hapless victim. "L-L-Lord Millennium, I had forgotten. Please forgive me."

The mass of Innocence and flames and innocence flames, which were recoloured and made in such a way that you couldn't under normal circumstances tell the difference between it and the original, sighed, and replied "It's quite alright, Moore. Just make sure that it doesn't happen again. I'll have the maids clean up the mess, and I'll see to Adam myself." Moore was hesitant for a second before she left, tail between her legs, for god knows where.

Milliseconds after Moore disappeared, the flame clone did likewise, and my conscious followed suit.

Was a glass of water really too much to ask for?

_**~IN THE FUTURE…SORT OF~**_

Allen was eagerly anticipating a meet he had in the next few minutes, that much he was certain. The more than likely death of his best friend Adam, (I would be touched if Baron wasn't already attempting to do so – _Adam_) as after all, who knew what that psychopathic girl by the name of Rhode would do to a prisoner, had left Allen feeling…hollow, and not for the first time in his life. It was a feeling akin to the same feeling he had when Mana passed, only less…everything, if he to put it in words. Less pain, less aching, less longing.

Less feeling.

It took a smidge of time before the effects of Adam's disappearance truly set into Allen's mind, but once it did, it was as stubborn as its apparent victim. No comforting words from Lenalee could _truly _ease him. No reasoning from Komui could dissuade Allen's feelings of responsibility; no amount of shouting from Kanda to get over it could force Allen out of his own mental torture room of accusations. Nothing was helping, even the slightest bit. But Allen really couldn't complain, at least in front of Lenalee. After all, it was obvious that Lenalee was in worse shape than Allen. _Far _worse shape than Allen. He had held steadfast and not shed a tear over Adam; the fires of determination to get him back holding strong for at least a few hours after Adam was gone, compared to Lenalee, of whom had been crying mercilessly since he was taken from them. _No, not taken. That makes it sound like he's already dead. _Allen surmised. _He might still be alive. It's like he said, we don't know what the Noah do with their prisoners._

Allen's optimism was all that sustained his fiery determination to get Adam back now.

Allen was exercising; balancing on a single finger, whilst simultaneously equalizing on a chair, which was squaring on a single leg. To prime Allen's skills, he needed not to practice on a chair in and of itself; he needed to balance, whilst balancing, whilst balancing. He had to push himself. He _had _to push himself farther than ever before, if he was ever going to try and defeat Rhode and the mysterious Noah clan to save his friend, Adam. The way he saw it, he had no choice.

_Hold on tight, Adam. _Allen thought as he pushed himself to his 301st push-up, or whatever you could call his unique type of 'up'. _I'm coming for you. _

_I'll save you, I swear it._

_~FLASHFORWARD (No, not the show dumbass)~_

Allen was in Komui's office; waiting, anxiously for Bookman to arrive and explain what the 'Clan of Noah' were, exactly. To explain why he hadn't met earlier; Allen's injuries proved to be far more serious than believed originally, and so he needed to be transported to HQ to be treated properly. Allen had snuck out of the medical ward when his body stopped aching, and began his training to save Adam. The Head Nurse had turned diabolical in her attempts at getting Allen back to the medical ward to rest, such as actually asking Komui to make another Komrin to knock Allen out and bring him back, as all Allen was doing was reopening his wounds and effectively resting all the work that had done healing him. Allen tried his best to ignore the agony for as long as he could, but after his third day of training/avoiding capture from his own allies, his body failed him and he passed out. The Head Nurse had strapped Allen to the bed that time; and he had no choice but to comply. The anaesthesia prevented Allen from turning his arm into a claw and slicing away the restraints. It didn't stop him from trying; he had the subsiding pain to prove that he had tried to form his weapon, and ended up with an abomination, during his confinement to prove so.

The Bookmen had been incapable of coming back to the Order to elaborate on what the 'Clan of Noah' earlier as Akuma had slowed down their trip to nothing more than a crawl. Bookman, being as secretive a man as he was, refused to explain on a phone. Understandable, as Komui had remarked, a man with as much experience as him would undoubtedly become paranoid by now. That hadn't stopped Allen's anger that Bookman had denied him information until later on just for his own personal feelings from seething however, but Allen had stayed quiet for Lenalee's sake.

Not this time. Bookman was going to tell him, he _had _to…

The door opened, and an old man in an Exorcist uniform, with a younger teenaged looking boy with flowing red hair, stepped in. The boy followed shortly after.

The red haired kid took notice of Allen's expression, and smiled as he leaned against Komui's desk, the old man taking to standing stock still close to a wall opposite to him. "Lighten up kid, we're all friends here. Now, what is that you want to know about the Clan of Noah?"

* * *

**AN: Again, apologies if Allen is OOC. Lotta foreshadowing, heh. Gotta love it.**

**See you next chapter guys/gals. **

**Bye.**


	30. Dirty Gun Talk

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

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_Chapter 29_

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**AN: Yo, readers. Sorry that this wasn't posted yesterday - and by that, I of course mean that I actually have had this finished for half a week and just didn't post it yesterday. Admittedly, in my poor as hell defence, I forgot. I know, I know.**

**Anyway, since this story isn't _just _retarded conversations between Adam and Baron - I might post an entire mega chapter (30 thousand words) of just that if I get the reviews above one hundred hint hint - and actually has a plot there will be, well, plot in this chapter. The plot will be told in a flashback format; as will other things.**

**So, I bid you adiou, and say enjoy reading.**

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_**An indiscernible amount of time ago (Or in the future depending on your perception of time)**_

_Edward. D Leverrier sat in a prestigious chair, clearly designed for royalty, nervously tapping his leg repeatedly as he waited with bated breath for confirmation to come in._

_This confirmation was going to be his relief; his next fix, his next item to take straight to the brain to ease his nerves and calm himself down in general. The confirmation he has will be or is currently needed (Again, depending upon your perception of time), was for lack of a better term, going to be just as much a kick in the ass as a relief to him. If the confirmation came in, Leverrier would thank the man on the other end of the line as he was expecting a call, hang up the phone silently, and immediately throw the phone out of the window, never to be seen again as it fell over the side of the massive construct that was the 2017 North American Branch. Then, he'd quickly ask Ezio (Whom was patiently waiting just outside) to go collect his phone, as not only was it five hundred dollars, (And of Italian make) but in his position if proof was shown that he could not control his emotions, execution was going to follow suite. Such were the ways of the secretive higher ups. _A bunch of people with enough determination to realise what's necessary but not nearly enough brains to use it effectively, _the current future or past (Yet again, this depends on your perception of time) Leverrier thought with a gruff huff. (And contrary to popular belief he wasn't going to blow any houses down - _Adam_) _

_Leverrier wondered what could possibly take so long to confirm what had damn happened. You just needed to send someone deposable, but still relatively skilled, through the portal and _**check**, _he reasoned. Quite honestly, Leverrier was rapidly becoming fed-up with the amount, or lack thereof for that matter, of intelligence between those lower on his commanding food-chain, and sighed as testament. Seconds turned into mind-numbing minutes, mind-numbing minutes changed into aggravating dozens of them, and soon enough Leverrier had been waiting an hour, and absolutely _nothing _had happened. Not one noise beyond the occasional scream from the science department as they made their latest monstrosity. No noise, no ringing, no vibrating, no _ANYTHING!

_Leverrier, faster than he realised he could even move, had practically leaped out of his chair and picked it up, ready willing and able to throw it out the window in an aggression crazed moment. Leverrier's eyes widened as he speedily put the chair back down, smoothed the wrinkles out of his Black Order Inspector's suit (If he had to admit one thing that he liked about the suit, it came with cup holders. Who DOESN'T like cup holders?) and acted as if the whole incident never happened. His eyes stayed wide however, brimming with worry at his inability to control his emotions, before they quickly became vapid again and slowly and yet surely returned to their normal squint. Leverrier's mind was buzzing with annoyance at his own lack of care for his emotions. Emotions were weapons of massive self-destruction; that's what his father had taught him, and his father had taught him, and so on and so forth down the legacy of the Leverrier family. He couldn't…no, _wouldn't_ let them get out of control, lest he fall prey to the holy sword of the Vatican._

_It was expected of every Leverrier to be devoid of emotion; to not let them interfere with anything that might influence the outcome of this holy war. His father, when confronted with an inability to control his emotions, did what his grandfather, his father, and himself, were all expected to do if such a thing happened. _

_To effectively commit suicide on behest of the entire family's reputation. Edward's father had made his intent to tell the Vatican of his current emotion controlling state known to him. The day his father had filled the report, and later the same day was executed privately and staged to look like an accident for political reasons. (Imagine how bad the Vatican would look if their execution of even those most loyal to them were to be made public?) Edward's fathers' last words to him were…_

"_Son, I understand that you believe the legacy of the Leverrier family to be annoying and fruitless, but know this; you will play a grander part than any other Leverrier before you in this war. It is within my noble, Leverrier bones to be able to tell such a thing. Now, I must be off. Wonderful day for an execution, is it not?" Uttering these words to a badly-trying-to-hide-it confused, worried and afraid Edward D. Leverrier made him try to catch up to his father, to no avail._

_After all, the man WAS known for his years of legging it between places when travel by any other means became unavailable, (Battles on the Ark weren't uncommon, so depending upon on how frequent the attempts at the Ark were people would either use it daily or rarely. Edward's father had often remarked that 'there was no sense in not letting anyone in immediately after an attack; an hour after one was when it probably was least likely to be attacked for crying out loud!') therefore failure was expected and immediate._

Father, to this day I do not know what you mean. How will I, a man who has actually received no commendations for any of my Inspector work, be able to do more than the Malcolm C. Leverrier, a man renowned within our family for his many commendations for his work, did in his lifetime?_ Edward pondered. He sighed and rubbed his temples, a habit he was beginning to think that he had unconsciously acquired from a new Exorcist at the Black Order._

_If that woman is the reason I do not have as much of a grasp on my emotions as before as well…Leverrier thought it best to simply leave his train of thought for dead. The last thing he needed was to leave the room and get into a public area right when his phone was ringing, and not be able to get into a private location to talk. Not to mention hit a woman; good god no, he couldn't handle another harassment lawsuit. (Damn women sticking up for their rights; if it was not for them all of a sudden developing 'feelings' and demanding 'equal rights' then I would be able to smack them bitches any time I want! Ack. I sound like Adam now… - _Edward D. Leverrier) _Last time, Leverrier had force himself to grovel, _**GROVEL, **_to the woman who in Leverrier's own opinion had deserved it. _

"_What do you expect to happen when you approach a stressed Inspector, whom was looking forward to some relaxing report reading, and tell him that you think I might have been 'too harsh' on Adam, a filthy _NOAH _of all things, during his temporary holding in the cells downstairs? And to add to the absurdity of this, she HIT me BACK! If anything, since I am an Inspector you should sue her! Actually, what is the point of filling a lawsuit? All money is going to come from the Vatican, TO the Black Order, and to the Vatican again, which will undoubtedly shortly be transferred back to the Black Order to pay for MORE property destruction courtesy of the science department!" Shouting this out in a courtroom full of people (The entire JURY were women; this probably might have influenced the outcome he realised shortly after yelling.) didn't turn the case in his favour, oddly enough._

_Also besides, the woman was an Exorcist, so it isn't quite like the woman wasn't used to getting hit once or twice. The whole situation didn't even make SENSE! Suing him for money she could never ever obtain regardless, actually suing him in the first place and taking offence to the fact that an Inspector had used force; when it was trademarked of them to DO so! For the second time that day, Leverrier practically teleported out of his seat, picked it up, and then just as quickly set it down and sat back on top of it. He really needed some kind of anger management therapy to help manage this problem…_

"_RING RING. RING RING. THAT MEANS SOMEONE IS CALLING YOU MOFO! OH NO, YOU JUST ACTIVATED THE PICK THE PHONE UP NOW DUBSTEP! YOUR FAULT FOR NOT PICKING IT UP SOONER SUCKA! PICK UP DA PHONE, PICK IT UP! PICK PI-I-I-I-ICK IT U-U-U-P! PICK UP THE PHOOOOOOoooooooOOOOOONE LEVERRIEEEEEEeeeeeeeRRRR YOOOOOOOU MOTHERRRrrrrrrF-" Leverrier finally found his phone, as he thought it was in his pocket only to find out when it started ringing that it wasn't, and scoured the office for it until finding which he, will or just did. (To reiterate; it's all based upon your perception of time.) _

"_God damn Adam, locking my phone ringtone so that now I have no choice but to hear his stupid joke every time I receive a call from anyone." Leverrier grumbled before holding the phone to his ear. "This is Edward D. Leverrier. Position, Inspector." Leverrier waited not-to-patiently as the Vatican went through with their BS. (Honestly, why bother confirming my identity? IF, IF the Noah of Lust was going to strike, then she would strike the highest people she can reach. There are already three people I can list off the top of my head that are both easier to attack and hold infinitely more classified information than me. We would be better off asking if they were a Noah, honestly. –_ Edward _) He answered each question nearly as quickly as they came. _

"_36. 19__th__ of May, 1991. London. Leverrier. No, I am not interested in the latest object created by the Science Department. No, I do not want to hear about the sixth Exorcist project. I already have all relevant information as was available 6 months ago and if there is any pertinent information then I would have already been informed. What is so funny?_

…

…

…_What? Why was I not informed?! Take it up wi- you idiot, I am an Inspector for Central! I NEED to know about these things! Gah!_

…

…

…_Do you just leave me hanging? Hello? Hello? He- ah, you came back! You are not Fred? Then who the hell are and where is he? He is what? Crying? Why? 'My tone of voice caused Fred to go into a recessive state of mind from childhood beatings?' what the hell does that mean? I do not need a scientific lecture about psychology, damn it! I just need to speak to my superior! What superior? MY superior! ME, Edward D. Leverrier's superior!_

…

…

…_Sir, it is me, Edward D. Leverrier. I have called for you because I wanted to ask why I was not informed of the latest development for the sixth Exorcist project._

…

…

…_I see, Sir. This was merely an accident on your subordinate's behalf. Yes, I understand I cannot inform anyone else what I am about to be told. Can we skip this pesky detail, Sir? We have been through this every single time you tell me anything classified over the phone. Obviously, it is not tapped._

…

…_Go on…_

…

…

…_Continue…_

…

…

…

…_So, the Noah Exorcist cross-breed program, A.K.A the sixth Exorcist project, has…_

…

…

…_Is this true? All of what you have told me is true? Truly?_

…_I apologise for doubting you, Sir. This is astounding news, Sir. I understand Si- I mean, I understand, Niccolo._

…

…_Right. Flip a coin? Actually, I am still waiting on confirmation that he has successfully transported to the past, so there is no point in doing so now._

…

…_We can flip that coin then, Niccolo."_

_Edward D. Leverrier temporarily put the phone down, and dug a coin out of his pocket to flip. He did afore mentioned flipping, and caught it as it came down with practiced ease. Checking to see which side wound up on top, he sighed as he found that Tail was the numerator. He placed the phone beside his ear, and said to Niccolo, his superior "Tails. I have to tell him." With that, Leverrier thumbed the 'end' button on his phone, and stared at his mobile calling device intently for a few moments._

_His hand was the last tangible object the phone touched prior to the window plane, and then the side of the North America branch as it spiralled into nothingness._

_**Also an indiscernible amount of time ago/from now (Meanwhile, maybe? I guess?)**_

I sat in the room I had claimed as my own, sort of, mind racing in every single direction as I considered the Earl's proposition some more.

My throat had stopped hurting overnight, thankfully. Explaining to the Earl that I had destroyed the wall in frustration (I didn't rat out Moore; admittedly, I did that because if I did then the Earl would speak with her, find out I can make a flame clone of him, and I'd lose the advantage of him not knowing I could do that. Strategy, of course.) over my inability to decide had been awkward, but he had said it was expected from such a difficult decision (When he had destroyed a wall in frustration from being unable to decide I don't know) and additionally said that he would task the Akuma servants with its clean-up.

Of course, being around constructs of Dark Matter that shared in my need to destroy the other was strange. First, the Akuma maids/butlers would stare at me, my Innocence, and then focus on their task. But truly, their gaze never left me. As they picked up the pieces and such, they were still ready to jump me at the slightest movement, so I stayed still as a rock as they did their assigned duty.

Secondly, halfway through their cleaning, I walked out to see the Earl as I had a question ascertaining to my decision. The Akuma reacted violently at my attempt to leave and before you could say "Surrounded" I was by Akuma. All level one though.

I smirked and stared defiantly at the nearest Akuma. "Stand down. You'll only destroy yourself if you come at me."

The Akuma stared silently back, and neither moved towards away from me. I took it was a sign they were thinking it over. The thought and tension filled silence was shattered as a bullet went straight through my head, and the rest of the Akuma ripped my corpse to shreds.

My _clone's _corpse.

I sprung up from the other side of my bed and unleashed a perfect line of G18 horizontally. It took a single moment before they all exploded in clouds of smoke and dust combined. I sighed, this wasn't going to bode well with the Earl, was it?

_Elsewhere_

The Earl heard a noise coming from the room he had posted Adam in, and upon realising that the Akuma must have gotten out of hand and Adam had no choice but to exterminate them, sighed. He would need to send human servants this time; hopefully they didn't take offence at Adam's personality as well.

_Else elsewhere_

Tykki's head perked up at the sound of explosions, but sighed and shook his head as he lowered his head back into the book he was reading. _Those blasted twins, when will they learn to keep whatever they are doing down…_he thought as he flipped the page.

_Else else elsewhere_

The twins, Jasdero and Devit (Or David, depending on who you ask) heard the explosion, and realised something. Something amazing. Something astounding. They realised…

"Hey! Somebody's destroying stuff and it isn't us!" Said Devit.

"Yeah, not us~~." Jasdero agreed. **(AN: I'm not sure what the names of the twins are in the anime, so I'm just going with the Manga names 'cuz it's easier.) **

"We should be the only ones destroying stuff!" Said Devit, enraged.

"Yeah! We should go teach 'em a lesson for not being us!" Said Jasdero, ending his sentence with a giggle.

_Else else else elsewhere_

Rhode was walking to the library, bored out of her mind and intent on making Lord Millennie feel the same way. The explosions caused Rhode to stop and listen. She shrugged, before she realised something. "The Twin's room is to the north, Adam's room is to the south…Adam!" Acknowledging Adam was in danger, Rhode moved with haste towards his room.

_Else else else else elsewhere_

Lulubell, who was busy getting her nails manicured by her maid Mimi, **(AN: Okay, a few things folks. The reason I decided to include Mimi was a simple one; POV. By POV I of course mean point of view. This means that the reason I want Mimi around was because I think it would add greater depth to Adam's character exploration. I intend to have chapters dedicated to Adam bonding with the other Noah, and them offering their POV's, and seeing how they correlate to his own. By adding Mimi to the fray, I therefore add additional character exploration, an additional chapter, and some other 'fun' stuff. A monster man deserves a monster girlfriend, after all. *Wink*) **turned her heard just the slightest amount at the disturbance. In a monotone voice, she said "Why can't Jasdero and Devit keep quiet for once in their lives?"

Mimi, doing her work with such ease that she didn't require looking at it directly, glanced at Lulubell whilst still giving her a manicure. "It's just in their nature, I guess. The same way it's in my nature to serve you, Madame Lulubell."

Lulubell, not even bothering to tell her personal Akuma that her question was rhetoric, sighed and relaxed into her chair, letting Mimi manicure her finger nails.

_Else else else else else elsewhere_

Blowing the smoke off of my gun in a Hollywood-esq fashion, I quipped "They must have felt really lucky, punks."

_Yeah, Adam, you blow that gun._

Two can play at dirty gun talk Baron. Yeah, pump that Air gun! Pump it hard!

_You reload that pistol! You jam that clip right in!_

You cock that AK!

_I think I need my trigger mechanism…remote accessed._

I ain't touchin' that with a fifty foot pole.

_Speaking of fifty foot poles, my di-_

Oh, yeah, obviously you have that long a d*ck. Obviously that must be why you _aren't _on YO MOMMA's speed dial, and I am. Because…

If she wants to have a good time, she'll give me a call!

_You fucking bastard. How could you._

Don't. Stop. Me. Now.

_Oh fine, I'll continue…*grumblegrumblehorsemolestere rgrumblegrumble* 'Cuz I'm having a good time!_

At least you're honest about what you do at Playgrounds, Baron.

_But, but I thought-_

Tell your twisted desires to the Judge. Actually, me, because I AM THE LAW!

_IF YOU ARE THE LAW THEN THAT MAKES YOU A LESBIAN!_

DAMN STRAIGHT I LIKE WOMEN!

_You aren't very open-minded…_

I imagine the children you encounter are left open-something as well…

_One could say the same thing about you and your mother._

My mother's dead.

_Exactly._

…Will this eventually just turn into nothing more than reruns of old jokes? I mean admitting that we're using old shticks and making fun of that has already been done!

_Yes, one could imagine that it would._

Mother of god.

_And now we're back to using internet memes. We might as well as just act normal._

…Hi Baron.

_Hi Adam._

How was your day?

_It was fine. Yours?_

Also fine. Anything notable?

_Tom and Celia broke up._

Really? Do tell.

_Okay, the- OH GOD WHY DON'T MAKE ME DO THIS ANYMORE!_

GOD, HELP US! HELP US! DON'T MAKE US ACT NORMAL FOR THE SAKE OF COMEDY! GOD HELP USSSSS!

Almost like a gift from the big man himself, two Noah I didn't recognise but Baron did, appeared around the corner, guns to each other's head.

_Those are the twins. Tweedledevit and tweedledero. Also known as 'The Black Fuckers'._

They screw baba black sheep? THOSE MONSTERS!

_YES! ORIGINALITY! FINALLY!_

I know right? I'm so brilliant, it takes me an entire chapter to say something not about paedophiles and YO MOMMA! Speaking of which, this is the end of the chapter.

_Wait. This is the end of the chapter? AUTHOR YOU SON OF A BI-_

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**AN: Naughty naughty Baron. What have I taught you about swearing? Tsk tsk. For that, chapter ends on a cliff hanger. MWUHAHAHAHAHA!**

**Also, put this** **(Remove spaces)http/ / w w w .you t ub e w at ch ?v=R P3 aj_f 2d jE **** in the URL. You'll get the full effect then. :)**

**Of course, goodbye for now. **

**Also, just a little quick thing, I'm currently working on the next chapter of Witches be Crazy, so don't get your knickers in a twist if you're a fan of the story; it'll be updated soon...hopefully.**


	31. I'll Fuck 'Em With A Cup! (TM by Adam)

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

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_Chapter 30_

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**AN: Wazzup? Nothin' much on my end, except that school is nearly over! F*CK YEAH! I only have this week and next and then BOOM! I get my 6 weeks off, and boy will I be writing more during those 6 weeks. I can almost taste the future plot points and Adam 'n' Baron conversations.**

**Not to much funny this chapter; it's mostly, well, IS entirely flahsbacks and with some funny between Baron and Adam during a particular part of it, but still.**

**Don't forget! There's a poll open about what weapons Adam should use and such! Next major arc Adam's going to use Roy Mustangs Flame Alchemy unless you people vote! SO VOTE DAMNIT!**

**(Addittionally, since I've seen a few people do this):**

_**Done whilst listening to:**_

**_Evolution_ by Korn**

**_The Night_ by Disturbed**

**Nightcored version of "_I Kissed A Girl_" By Katy Perry**

**Nightcored version of "_Everytime We Touched_" By Cash Cash**

**_I Was Made For Lovin' You Baby_ by KISS (Or KIZZ depending on who you ask)**

**And of course, _Unstable_ by Chaotica (Freakin' love that song, it's like crack for the ears alongside a meth OD for the ages.)**

******Anyway, want to thank Larxel128 for favouriting and following this story and me alike! This one's for you!  
(And Stella Rose-Chan 'cuz I'm a nice guy and haven't creditted a chapter to her in a bit, hehe~~)**

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_**ALSO AN INDISCERNIBLE AMOUNT OF TIME AGO**_

"_Komui, you asked for a demonstration?" Asked Adam. Adam stood in a scientific room; of which Adam realised must have been destroyed repeatedly given the way the tiles were different shades of white and grey. What could have destroyed it he had a rough guess, but beyond that nothing._

_The supervisor nodded, and Adam's Innocence hand flared with brilliant green and a slightly red orange light. Komuis' eyes widened exponentially; Adam's remained the same, as he had done this dozens, if not thousands, of times before. After all, it was merely an invocation of Innocence, why was this different?_

_The why was simple; this was the first time Komui had seen the readings on Adam's Innocence hand. The aforementioned Exorcist wouldn't understand the magnificent amount of numbers popping and out of existence all over the virtual display hooked up in such a way that it was the equivalent of a walk-in X-Ray machine, but Komui most certainly did. "The boy's Innocence, its generating energy. But that's not all, there's something within the flames. Almost like a presence." Komui thought. Komui looked to section leader Reever, who nodded and went to work pressing numerous buttons on a nearby console._

"_Adam, can you form your Innocence into weapons for me will you?" Said Komui._

"_What's the magic word?" Retorted Adam._

"_Please?" Answered Komui hopefully._

"_BEEP! Try again."_

"_Pretty please?"_

"_NOPE!"_

"_Pretty please with sprinkles on top?"_

"_Not a chance."_

"_Pretty please with sprinkles on top and ice cream?"_

"_Tempting, but gotta say…Nu-uh!"_

_Komui pinched the bridge of his nose, and with annoyance evident replied "Would you kindly?" Why Adam made it adamant that he be asked only with 'would you kindly' was the greatest Mystery Komui had ever tried to solve. And still hadn't, actually._

"_THERE we go! Spoken like a true gentle-overlord. Alrighty, stand back folks, this might get awesome." Adam closed his eyes and concentrated heavily, physically making his mental imagery of armaments in an attempt to appease Komui._

_Komui marvelled at the weaponry Adam's mind came up with; half of it was items he hadn't even begun to suspect to _exist. _Browsing quickly through the mega obstacle course of blades, bullet utilising utensils (Mofoing guns to you and me) and blunt force trauma inducing equipment, (Deep breath) he stopped to gape at Adam. The boy was still as, if not more so, than stone. Not a muscle moving. If Adam was breathing, he could have fooled anyone._

"_This enough Komui?" Asked Adam with suddenly opening eyes, and caused Komui to land several feet away._

"_Y-Yes, Adam. This much is fine." Replied Komui. Komui constructed his way in the direction of his original position and glanced at Reever, of who quickly blurred through a series of button and keyboards presses on the terminal. Reever stood stock still as Komui mimicked him, staring at the screen, waiting for the results to present themselves. Reevers' eyes noticeably bulged, and Komui was clamouring over section leader Reever to get a sneak peek at what had him so awestruck._

_Speaking of funny expressions, Komui made one as he too found out what had Reevers' eyes bulging._

_Komui had wished his assumption was false, but oddly enough for the genius of a man, he was wrong. The assumption that Adam's Innocence had some form of presence in of itself wasn't disproven by the results…_

…_..they were proven._

_And not only had it be proven, but from what Komui could gouge, there were _two _presences within Adam's field of weapons (Not including afore mentioned Exorcist), doubly proving it even._

_The first notable presence was an almost angelic aura that, as said by its namesake, glowed astoundingly white on the scanners. The presence was indistinguishable appearance wise; the most either of them could discern was its colour. The white that made the sun look inadequate. The luminescence that destroyed peoples vision with just a glance. The single most eye-catching coloured white in all of existence. This…entity, for lack of a better word, was what shrouded the right half of Adam._

_The second entity, as that was what Komui decided was a suitable term for a description of these beings, was entirely opposite of that. Its darkness was all encompassing, never letting Reever's or Komui's gaze off of it. The thing _screamed _evil, flowing and oozing and creeping and crawling around in such a way that Komui and Reevers' spines felt like throwing themselves off the nearest rooftop. In short; the thing was evil incarnate as far as either of them could tell, and they shared in each other's incessant feeling of fear. "What…is…that?" Asked Komui shakily, voice barely above a whisper._

"_I…I don't know, Supervisor Komui." Responded Reever in the same manner of voice, despite the obvious fact that his question was rhetorical._

_Komui would have pointed out such a thing on any other occasion, but currently, he couldn't care _less. _Right now, he had findings that mystified even him. He had an amazing discovery; one where Innocence was most certainly related. After all, if this didn't involve Innocence then what did?_

_The shadowy entity covered his left entirely; the amazing white shrouded his right entirely. The boy was, completely and utterly, unseeable. The good and evil white and black cloaks respectively never displayed a single atom of its wearer. The figure moved suddenly, shocking Komui and Reever. _

"_Komui, can I stop? I'm feeling the strain." Said The Figure, before both Reever and Komui realised that despite their scanners screen displaying the opposite, Adam was underneath the ensemble._

_In the process of speaking, Adam's face was known to them, and Komui and Reever shrank in horror at the sight._

_No word in humanity's broad descriptors of vocabulary of any language could equate to the utter evilness of the left half of Adam's face. It was disfigured. It was ugly. It was hideous. It made that one guy in Mater look like George f*ckin' Clooney. It was so many things but nice, whether looking or just that._

_The right half was unintelligible, but if Komui or Reever had no choice but to verbally describe it, they would say it was angelic without hesitation. _

_The left half was a completely different story. If Komui or Reever had no choice but to verbally describe it, they would say it was demonic without hesitation. The way it grinned, the way its sharp, malicious teeth shined, the way its eye glinted with animalistic murderous intent, the way it purely _existed _showcased evil in its most primal form._

_A grin and face to match that displayed nothing more than a need to kill. To maim. To murder. To do every unspeakably evil act that is humanly possible under their hellish blood red sky of carnage with joy and without hesitation. To commit atrocities without blinking. _

_To. Be. _Evil_._

_And of course Adam was completely oblivious to this (The stupid sod) as he's a retard. (HEY! If you're going to insult me Baron then do it right. Retard is 'to slow down' by definition. RetardED is what you're looking for to describe me. Also, YO MOMMA banger. – _Adam_)(Grammar Nazi. – _Baron)_(If I'm a Grammar Nazi, then why am I Jewish? – _Adam)_(You're not. – _Baron_)(See? I'm *not* a Grammar Nazi, you admitted it! – _Adam._)(I meant you aren't Jewish. – _Baron_)(No shit dumbass! I'm a Grammar Nazi. – _Adam_)_

_BARON F*CK OFF THE STORY TELLING COUCH! GET! GET! _

_Anyway, what the fat f*cker MEANT to say (I'm not fat; y'all are just so main stream you assume slim is the newest slim! – _Baron_) was that due to the fact that I couldn't see Komui and Reever's screen I couldn't tell what they were making such extreme faces at. And it was annoying me to no end._

"_HEY! STOP GAWKING AT THAT SODDING CONSOLE AND TELL ME WHAT YOU SEE!" I shouted; nearly knocking the two eggheads off their feet._

_They blinked rapidly as they readjusted themselves, and looked at me quizzically. They probably hadn't even noticed that I was _alive _they were too busy staring at the screen…I swear, if they were watching two girls one cup when they should be examining me then I'll f*ck 'em with a cup! Suck my poetic justice, b*tch!_

"_All I'm asking is what is making you stare at the screen like it's the only Pretty Young Terminal you could ever get in your lives?! That, and what's making you stare at the screen like its F*CKING YOUR MOM?!" I asked politely._

_That got Komui to start up again. "Uh, nothing that requires your attention Adam. Nothing." I would later ask Komui why he didn't tell me what he found. He bull 'I didn't know what to make of it and I thought that you as an Exorcist had enough to deal with already. The fact that the burden of being a suspect of scientific study being exponential influenced my decision, admittedly' - ed me out of a reason when I did._

_Reever quirked an eyebrow straight at Komui; and in turn Komui gave a 'later. Not now' look back. Reever shrugged and in gestures said 'if you say so Supervisor Komui'._

_Komui sighed, took off his Beret, stroked his hair, and profoundly put it back on. "We've gathered enough data for now, Adam. You already showcased both your limitations with your ability and your abilities possibilities in of itself earlier, and I've collected numerous samples for further study during that time as well. To answer your question; yes, you can leave for your mission to the Rewinding Town. The others are waiting for you in my office."_

_I flash jumped and sped out of the door, disabling all the flame weaponry as I left. "HUZZAH! TO THE REWINDING TOWN ARC AND BEYONNNNNNNNnnnnnnndddd…" From Komui's POV, that was what he heard. _

_From the room's POV, what was heard was "Supervisor Komui, why didn't you tell Adam we saw a demon when we did the Innocence scanner?"_

_Also from the room, a sigh and "You know Section Leader Reever, one day you'll take over my position. And when you do, you'll come to realise there are times when the occasion calls for a decision that is between wrong and wronger. _

_This was one such occasion."_

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_**ENDING OF ONE, BEGINNING OF ANOTHER MOFO'S**_

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"_Sir Inspector Malcolm C. Leverrier, pleasure to meet you." Said the Finder._

_The Inspector narrowed his eyes, snake-like, and asked "Skip the formalities. You said you wanted to speak to an Inspector because you didn't feel comfortable telling anyone else this?"_

_The Finder nodded._

"_Speak, then. I have much more important matters to attend to than speak with a Finder."_

_The meeting between Mister Bundle of Sunshine (A.K.A Malcolm C. Leverrier) and the Finder was organised by Komui after meeting a slightly dishevelled Finder, of who was asking that he speak to an Inspector as he had interesting information. Currently, the Finder and the only available at the time Inspector were communicating inside of Komui's office, the office's owner having left due to the confidentiality of meetings involving Inspectors._

_This worked in Komui's favour ironically; it gave him a perfectly valid reason for not being in the company of the man of who more or less tortured his sister for a particular patch of time at the Order._

_The Finder started to speak, just as Leverrier demanded. "Sir Leverrier, I would like to speak to you about an Exorcist." Leverriers' eyes constricted considerably._

"_What of this particular Exorcist?" If this Finder was someone else wishing to talk about his inhumane treatment of Lenalee Lee in her younger years at the order, as happened on occasion, then he was leaving immediately._

_The Finder breathed in deeply, and said "His name is Adam Phoenix Millennium, Sir Leverrier, and I believe that I have some…interesting information about him."_

_Leverriers' squinted eyes stared unblinking at the Finder. "This information is?"_

_The Finder gulped, and if his nervousness wasn't indicated enough by his sweaty palms and bead of sweat on his forehead, his gulp had the trademark sound of a nervous one. "I. I need something in return though, Sir Leverrier."_

_Leverrier rose from his seat, and readied his hand if need be. "You do _NOT _bargain with me, Finder. Do you understand me? You may bargain with your spineless Supervisor. You may bargain with your pathetic Section Leader, or even bargain with your replaceable Finder friends, but you never. Ever. Bargain. With. _ME. _Do I make myself, _clear_?" If the Finder wasn't intimidated previously; chances are he was then._

"_Y-Yes Sir, Leverrier Sir." Stuttered the Finder._

_The regret at having this meeting the Finder was feeling was only outmatched by the fear welling up within him as he looked up at Leverrier. "Good." Leverrier retook his seat. "What is the information?"_

_Hesitantly, the Finder stared into Leverrier's face, eyes meeting briefly and only briefly as the Finder was still scared to the extreme by Leverrier, and begun talking._

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_**ENDING OF A SECONE ONE, BEGINNING OF YET ANOTHER YO'S**_

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"_I WAS MADE FOR LOVIN' YOU BABY, YOU WERE MADE FOR LOVIN' ME~!"_

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_**OH F*CK WRONG SCENE OH I MEAN THAT WAS JUST A BRILLIANT FORESHADOW YEAH, YEAH RIGHT**_

_**ANYWAY ANOTHER FLASHBACK**_

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"_Lord Millennium, are you sure?" Asked Moore._

"_Yes, I'm sure. We need to test if he truly is reliable. To do so, we need to test who has the stronger grip on the boy's heart. Us, or the Black Order. And to do that, we need a scenario in which he'll have to choose between us, or the Black Order." Reiterated the Earl._

_Moore sighed; relenting. The Earl was so fixated on his plan that he didn't realise that it was more likely to backfire than succeed by an unimaginable amount._

"_But why would he have bonded with us in the short time he's been here?" Questioned Moore._

"_He hasn't; yet. That's why this plan will need to be executed some time later than currently. After he has been with us, gotten to know us and live like us for a time, I am confident he'll make the right choice without being burdened by his conscious for abandoning his 'friends'."_

_Moore gazed upon the Earl's sitting/rocking form, looking as content as a man planning on destroying the world could be, and formulated another response. "What if he becomes a Fallen One?"_

"_He won't. I'm having the Skulls work on that as we speak."_

_Moores' eyebrows fidgeted. "This plan still isn't sweet, Lord Millennium. I don't think it'll work."_

_The Noah Clan Leader continued rocking back and forth, and merrily ignored Moore's complaints. "Go along now My Child, and remember, when the time comes, you must follow the plan to the letter. Just remember that."_

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_**THIRD ONE DONE, ANOTHER TO GO (Ain't foreshadowing fun?)**_

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"_I'm sorry, everyone."_

_The corpses surrounding him didn't respond, for obvious reasons, but whilst they were incapable of talking physically, they were very much so mentally._

_The words plaguing the young mass murderer came from their embodiments, at least._

"_I. I had to." He felt the inexplicable odd feeling to explain himself, despite the fact that this act would never be anything more than unjustified and necessary, and wasn't quelling the voices to any degree. "If I didn't, then the rest of mankind would have followed suit."_

_If there was anything the young genocide causer hated more than what he had just done, it was what would have happened had he not done what he did. "Why, God, if you really are there, why did I have to kill all of them? Why? My friends, my family? They were good people! All of them! Why did they have to die?!" The teenaged massacre maker was on the very brink of tears; if he continued to wallow in his actions, then surely he would._

"_Now, I'm alone again. No Mana. No Komui, no Reever, no Kanda, no Miranda, no Johnny, no Jerry, no _anyone_!" The mysterious murderer was ready to explode. "Lenalee and Lavi are all that's left but, why? Why them? Why spare them only?!" _

_And boy did he explode. _

"_WHY SPARE THEM ONLY!? WHY COULDN'T YOU SAVE EVERYONE! YOU'RE GOD! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE OUR SAVIOR, AND INSTEAD YOU ARE OUR DICTATOR!" He declared. "YOU RULE WITH AN IRON FIST AND YOU JUST TAKE AND TAKE AND TAKE AND NEVER GIVE ANYTHING BACK! YOU TORTURE US BY BUILDING US UP AND THEN TAKING US APART, PIECE BY PIECE! YOU'RE A GREEDY SADIST!" The boy lost a few shades of anger and instead gained a few shades more scathing. "Well you know what, God?! I RENOUNCE MY EXORCIST TITLE! YOU CAN TAKE THAT AND SHOVE IT WHERE YOU KEEP ALL THE PEOPLE YOU'VE STOLEN FROM ALL OF US!" Panting and angry, the boy drew his claw back and sliced the Exorcist clothes off of himself; revealing a rather exotic suit akin to the 14__th__'s attire. He screamed in anguish as with honed precision he cut the only remaining Black Order banner down with a Cross Grave, letting it fall into the hellfire beneath it and burning until it was nothing except ashes._

**"S_p_o_k_e_n _l_i_k_e _a t_r_u_e _N_o_a_h_, A_l_l_e_n_."_**

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**AN: MWUHAHAHAHAHA! I love bending you guys over! (That sounded disturbingly gay...) Haha, :)**

**Seriously though, freakin' LOOOOOOOOOVE foreshadowing, and we've had plenty of it as of late. Send me a PM if you know who the finder in the scene with Leverrier in it was, and if you're right I'll give you a cookie and a sneak peak my 'planned progression sheet', which details what kind of awesometastic upgrades I plan for Adam. It's only a 1 fifth of the sheet glance, so don't get your knickers in a twist about plot and blah blah blah. Your guess could be 'just some random finder' and you might be right, or it could be 'Totally gOtta be, and this is just My best guess, A one Rosalie?' and you might be right.**

**You also might want to re-read that sentence. Hint; there's a hint.**

**Anyway, since I have more freetime than a free bird that's free whilst simultaneously freeing a free free and freeing free with a free baseball bat, expect more updates, and sooner. I'm excited for what's going to happen next (I freakin' make about 75% of this off the top of my head, so I have just as, if not slightly more so, big a chance of knowing what's going to happen next as anybody.)**

**Soooooo yeah. I'll see you, next update. **

**Tata~~. (VOTE DAMN YOU! VOTE AND REVIEW!)**


	32. OH SHIT, THE POPE!

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

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_Chapter 30: OH SHIT, THE POPE!_

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**AN: Another chapter for y'all. Funniez are inside, as usually. I will have an AN at the end of the chapter that I suggest you read if you have a problem with how the Twins are portrayed.**

**This chapter is dedicated to Jesus, for reasons I won't tell you but will only hint at. Hint: it involves a sequel for HOW THE INTERNET IS POWERED, which is still being made.**

**This chapter is actually _twice _the length of a normal chapter, and then some. Seriously, this is almost/just above 7 and a half THOUSAND words.**

**Anyway, I really wish you people would vote (there's a poll running on my profile) since so far only three people have. Like, seriously people, WHY!? *Emo corner* TT_TT Also review. I appreciate that to.**

_**Done whilst listening to:**_

_**Best Friends **_**by _Toy box_**

**_Angel of Darkness _by I have no clue as I can't find the name of the band that performed it, just the people behind it, _Alex C. Feat Yasmin K._**

**_Tears Don't Fall _by _Bullet For My Valentine_**

**_There, Right There _featured in the movie _Legally Blonde_**

**_Lucifer's Angel _by _The Rasmus_**

**_Dance With The Devil _by _Immortal Technique_**

**_CaramellDansen _by _Caramell_**

**That's 'bout it.**

**And before I forget, I apologise to any Catholics that take offence of my 'portrayal' of the Pope and the Archbishop. I sincerely hope you understand I have nothing against the Catholic religion (Not truly but that's something never to discuss to the general public) and it was only done for the sake of comedy.**

******Onto the story...(That means start reading the stuff below, not this, stupid.)**

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_**FIRST BLACK ORDER ERA, CHRONOLOGICALLY A PERIOD OF TIME AGO**_

_Lenalee sat on a chair beside a hospital bed containing a child no older than 9 or 10, patiently waiting for him to wake up again. The child had been awake earlier; the matron had told her, hence why she was waiting for him to wake for the second time today._

_The boy had lain so still that Lenalee had half wondered if he was dead, only for the next rise and fall of his chest to dissipate that idea. It wasn't anything serious as to why the boy was under medical supervision, as the matron had told Lenalee when she asked about his health. The boy had merely over exerted himself; that was all. Of course, the Matron being ever the observant one had also pointed out that it was the kind of over exertion that only Exorcists could get; the boy had suffered his first ever rebound, and was not exactly enjoying it. It was nearly funny, as Komui was adamant that Leo had overexerted himself and nothing more. Lenalee had listened silently to the Matron's words, before gasping with wide eyes at hearing such news. The boy had suffered a rebound? Someone that young shouldn't suffer like that, at least, Lenalee thought so. The agony of children reminded Lenalee of her own past, so it was a very possible that Lenalee simply didn't want young people to be hurt for her own sake. It wouldn't surprise her admittedly; she only ever fought for her world, and no one else. To destroy it would destroy her, as she has known for quite some time. With this in mind, one could easily conclude that she was far from the wide-hearted Allen, but not so shallow as to be the self-serving Leverrier._

_She sighed; thinking of Leverrier whilst trying to be optimistic about the three newest Exorcists, Allen, Adam and the currently sleeping/unconscious Leo, wasn't helping in the slightest._

_Considering the mortality rate of the Black Order, _especially _Exorcists and Finders; she needed all the positive influences that she could get._

_Slight stirring and a sound like mumbled words, that's what Lenalee saw and heard respectively just then. She sat up straighter, as she had slouched undeniably, and leered at Leo, checking for further movement._

_(Asterisk takes arrow to the eye asterisk. What? Who's there? Asterisk silence for a few seconds asterisk. - _Adam_) Nothing. It must have been her imaginati- (Asterisk snickering asterisk. Asterisk arrow being drawn sound asterisk. Asterisk OW! Asterisk. - _Adam_)_

"_MOM!"_

_The boy lurched forward with speed reminiscent of a cheetah, and reached forward desperately clawing for its supposed prey. "Mom…" Whispered Leo mournfully._

_Lenalee recognised that tone without hesitation; it was the tone of a grieving person that had suppressed the remnants of their sadness to put on a brave face, whilst that same grief was immolating them internally. She may not have been sure just _how _she recognised it, but from the bottom of her heart and stomach conjoined she was dead certain that she knew that tone. Considering the fact that Lenalee was here because she was instructed by her brother Komui to collect Leo as soon as he was able to move and bring him to Komui, Lenalee needed to talk with him. Lenalee whispered out to Leo "hey, Leo. Glad to see you're awake." When Leo turned to gaze at Lenalee, she smiled cheerily, hoping for it to catch on._

_It didn't; Leo stared quizzically at Lenalee instead._

"_Who are you?" Asked Leo slowly._

_Lenalee almost face faulted; she didn't due to her realising Leo hadn't been introduced to her properly. He had passed out close to the front gate, therefore the only people Leo did know, was everyone he had met prior to it._

_So, slightly straining a cheery smile, Lenalee replied "I'm Lenalee Lee. I'm an Exorcist of the Black Order, which you are currently at. Well, the medical ward anyway."_

_He quickly scanned the room, and retaliated with another question "where's Adam and Allen?"_

_Lenalee pondered her question for but a second, and responded with "by now, they've probably been judged by Hevlaska and settled in."_

_Leo took the answer and processed it; brain still not fully functioning. "Right. Who's Hevlaska?"_

_Lenalee, still straining to smile, answered his question. And then the one after that. And then the one after that._

_And then the ones after that._

_And then the ones after those._

_And then the questions that followed those._

_Considering the circumstances, Lenalee was rapidly becoming fed up with the amount of questions Leo had about the Black Order. In truth, she understood _why _he would have that many questions, but she still didn't like answering them in the quantity that she had to._

_There was being curious; and then there was being Leo in that situation._

"_Why do they wear black?"_

"_Because it's called the Black Order I imagine."_

"_You imagine? You mean you don't know?"_

"_Yes, I don't know entirely myself. You'd have to ask brother about it."_

"_Brother? Who's brother?"_

"_Komui, he's my brother."_

"_Who's Komui?"_

"_He's the supervisor for this branch of the Black Order."_

"_What does he look like?"_

"_He wears a beret and has dark purple hair. He also wears glasses and a lab coat."_

"_What kind of glasses and beret?"_

_You get the idea._

_As Leo's questions kept raking in more and more, Lenalee's already frustrated demeanour quickly turned aggressive, to the point in where Lenalee just needed an excuse to throttle the kid._

"_What kind of boxers?" That was the last straw; she had HAD it._

"_Enough questions! Why would you even want to know what kind of boxers my brother wears? Wait, don't respond to that. I don't want to continue this conversation. Just get out of bed and PLEASE, follow me to my brother's office. Please?" She pleaded. She couldn't handle another question. She just couldn't._

_Leo sighed, like a kid who just had his toy taken away, and replied "fine, if I have to."_

_Lenalee smiled again; this time in actual mirth rather than false mirth. "Good." She got off her chair and stretched her legs; she had been sitting down for so long that both her legs had fallen asleep, woken up, and then passed out from boredom. "Follow me."_

_Leo did as she commanded, and pursued her out of his bed, and out of the door. At the start, Leo wanted to stay in bed (It was really comfortable) but upon discovering just what his height and location provided as to his point of view, smirked mischievously._

"_Nice panties, Lenalee. Hehehe~~." Thought Leo._

* * *

_**ELSEWHERE, IN THE FUTURE**_

* * *

I blinked, and flexed my Innocence hand, and created a flame machete with Leo's name – literally – on it.

"Hm. Why do I suddenly feel like violating Leo violently with a machete….?"

* * *

_**BACK AT THE OTHER PLACE, IN THE PAST**_

* * *

_Leo's lecherous line of sight lasted until Lenalee and he ended up at Komui's office; which is to say all of two minutes of a 10 year Old's equivalent of dirty thoughts._

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_**ELSEWHERE, AGAIN IN THE FUTURE**_

* * *

My eye twitched, and the machete became twice the size. "Now I feel like murdering Leo even more than twenty seconds ago…what the hell is that kid up to?"

* * *

_**PAST, YOU GET THE IDEA**_

* * *

_Lenalee went inside first, causing Leo to pout as he lost his visual entertainment._

* * *

_**FUTURE**_

* * *

"Seriously, what the hell is that kid up to?" I said, as the machete now became a chainsaw.

* * *

_**PAST**_

* * *

_Entering the room, Leo noticed first and foremost the passed out man that fit Lenalee's description of Komui. Leo's face twisted in confusion._

"_Is he asleep…?"_

_Lenalee sweat dropped, "he does that a lot. Give me a second."_

_Lenalee briskly walked towards her brother's desk, and leaned in next to his sleeping head. Lenalee said something Leo couldn't quite hear, however before he could blink in a confounded manner, Komui's back arched up straight spontaneously, giving Leo a mini heart attack._

"_LENALEE~~!" Screamed guess-who, with his hands reaching for the sky._

"_Brother, Leo's here." Lenalee said simply, with her brother grasping onto her for dear life._

_Komui immediately stopped snivelling and grovelling and stood up straight, adjusting his glasses as well. "Ah. Leo, just who I needed to speak to."_

_Leo's eyes regained the confounded look he had upon entering the room, but nonetheless asked "why would you need to speak with me?"_

_Komui, for all intents and purposes, teleported back behind his desk and sat in his chair, leaning forward in it additionally. "It's simple, really. Leo, you are an accommodator of Innocence, and as such you are an Exorcist. But, you're unrefined. You don't have experience with any form of combat, do you?"_

_Leo responded with "No. Not really."_

"_Exactly. Therefore, in order to ensure your safety, you need to be trained. I'm sending you to a General by the name of Kevin Yeager. He's very good with kids, so that's why I thought it best for him to train you. Currently, his destination if Belgium, as he has a mission there. I'm sending you to Belgium with a pack of Finders to further ensure your safety." Komui said plainly._

_Leo missed most of what Komui said, as the second Komui said 'General' Lenalee had stepped over the Leo and handed him a dossier appearing object. Of course, due to his size in comparison to Lenalee, she had leaned downwards, which awarded Leo with a perfect cleavage shot down the middle of her breasts._

* * *

_**WITH ADAM**_

* * *

The chainsaw just caught on fire (Which is weird and kind of impossible since it's made of it), and now I feel like doing things far worse than merely disembowelling Leo…

What the hell is he doing?

* * *

_**WITH LEO**_

* * *

"_That dossier indicates directions to the underground canals from this office, and the locations you'll need to go to in order to reach Belgium. It also has the names of all the Finders working with you. I'd recommend reading it over once or twice. Just in case your Golem is destroyed and you get lost. Speaking of your golem," Komui reached underneath his desk and pulled out a very snazzy brief case. "Since you're an Exorcist, you'll need your own Golem. Meet Johnson, your personal Golem." The case opened, and near instantly a black shot out of it and collided into Leo's face, taking his attention away from Lenalee's woman parts._

_Leo, still dazed, said "…Johnson…? My…Johnson…?" _

_Silence. _

_More so. Komui turned slightly red._

_Even more so. Lenalee followed in her siblings footsteps._

_DING! Leo realised what he said and quickly turned beet red. "N-not my Johnson! I mean he is but he isn't! I mean he isn't even though he is! I mean he-"Lenalee put a reassuring hand on his shoulder, interrupting him._

"_It's fine. We get what you mean, Leo. Everyone makes mistakes." Lenalee smiled reassuringly, and Leo's red face turned an extreme shade darker. The now-crimson effect went to the tips of his ears too._

_The latter was more for the fact that whilst Leo was embarrassed, he got a double whammy with Lenalee's cleavage being see able to his eyes._

* * *

_**ADAM**_

* * *

Adam stared in shock as the chainsaw changed into two, both on fire and revved up.

"Okay, seriously, this isn't even funny anymore. What the f*ck is that kid doing?"

* * *

_**LEO**_

* * *

_Leo then proceeded to pass out from the amount of blood flowing through his face, but not before his nosebleed sent him through the door out of Komui's office, through the railing, and over to the other side of the circular HQ._

_He landed in Kanda's room._

_On top of him._

_Kanda opened one eye, and saw a peculiar sight; an almost unconscious Leo using him as a bed._

_Kanda che'd, and growled "GET OFF OF ME!" to Leo. _

_This caused the young child to snap to attention, and boy was he scared. _

"_Oh crap! It's that really angry girl at the gate!" Thought Leo._

_Kanda instinctively grabbed Mugen, and was about to unsheathe it as Leo said "DON'T HURT ME MISS! IT'S JUST A MISUNDERSTANDING!" Kanda immediately picked up the pace and had Mugen to Leo's neck in nanoseconds._

"_Che." Uttered Kanda, right before he leaned in towards Leo and…_

[THIS PART OF THE REPORT HAS BEEN REDACTED DUE TO THE VIOLENCE CONTAINED WITHIN, AS IT MIGHT MAKE MOST PEOPLE SICK TO THEIR STOMACHS]

* * *

_**WITH ADAM**_

* * *

The anger towards Leo went away, as my sense of retribution was somehow satiated, although it felt like someone else had done it…how I could 'feel' as though someone else had done it, I don't know…

What the hell just happened in the five minutes this transpired over?

* * *

_**FLASHBACK TO THE FUTURE (OH YOU KNOW WHAT I FUCKING GIVE UP ON THIS, IT'S IN THE TIME FRAME OF THE MODERN DAY BLACK ORDER, ALSO KNOWN AS THE ERA OF THE SECOND BLACK ORDER. HAPPY? YOU FUCKING HAPPY?)**_

* * *

"_We need to restart the Second Exorcist project. First and foremost."_

_The dead silence formed as Central Agency considered Edward D. Leverriers' words was broken when the man known as Niccolo laughs._

_Everyone who had any pull in the Central Agency was at that table; all Inspectors, all above them and so on, as long as they had power within the Agency. The table was a pentagon shape, and was covered in an intricate pattern of black and silver. The colour of the table itself was indistinguishable from the cloth pattern atop it._

_The walls followed in the tables' footsteps inability to tell its natural colour wise; they were coated in wallpaper explicitly designed to let no sound go beyond them. Such was the secrecy of the Central Agency._

_To think of the tables' corresponding directions from Edward's position; to Edward's left were the Great Generals. To the right were the rest of the Inspectors. To the right of the Inspectors were Niccolo and rest of the people in his position. (The same way Edward is an Inspector Niccolo is something else) To the right of Niccolo were the man of the hour; His Holiness The Pope and his Catholic associates. (The Archbishop, etc.)_

"_It's just like you to panic this much, Eddie."_

_Edward's left eye twitched. "This is a professional meeting, Sir, and I would appreciate it if I was shown respect."_

_Niccolo scoffed. "Professional? Are you kidding me? This is a meeting you called just to sound more important over an issue we can all agree on is not that at all. You're embarrassing yourself, Eddie. Don't further drag your family name through the mud by wasting all of our time." Now _that _annoyed the current Leverrier, as his eyes narrowed dangerously._

"_Watch what you say about my family, Sentinel. We both know what happened to your predecessor." Threatened Leverrier._

_Niccolos' eyes normally could not be seen behind his almost fringe, however in this circumstance they could be. And they revealed green eyes filled to the brim with hatred and curiosity. "Is that a threat, Eddie?"_

"_As conceited as it sounds; no, it is a promise."_

"_Really? It sounded like a threat to me." His gaze moved onto the man beside him, and he asked "what do you think? Was that a threat?"_

_The man nodded, albeit reluctantly as the fights between Niccolo and Leverrier were verbal warfare at its finest and as such no one wanted to jump in front of a bullet for them, so to speak._

_Niccolo turned his attention to Leverrier once again. "See? Even that guy, whoever he is, agrees with me. Next remark and I inform his Holiness, upon him waking up obviously, of this."_

_Leverrier balled his hand; not truly going to strike but sure as hell feeling like it. "Fine, then. Sir. I will admit; this meeting was, _partly,_ about an issue that is practically non-existent-"_

"_HA! The loser admits it! He called the meeting for himself and himself only!" Interrupted Niccolo._

_Leverrier's glare followed prior to his continuation. "-If you would let me finish, Sir, I will explain why I called this meeting." Niccolo's mouth was bordering on opening again, when Leverrier's serious look prevented him from doing so._

_Leverrier cleared his throat, and continued in earnest. "As I was saying prior to being interrupted, this issue is admittedly non-existent at best, however it is what stems from it is truly the problem." Now all's attention was had at Leverrier; even those that had prior not been paying any of it._

"_The issue of the issue, so to speak, is what happens if we make a mistake with the end result of the Sixth Exorcist program, more commonly referred to as either the 'X-orcist' or 'Noah-Exorcist Crossbreed' program. He is a super powered, practical God amongst Exorcists and Noah, spawned of science and magic, and created to destroy all in its path. Albeit, with an intelligent mind. The problem with this is simple, what if he decides to betray us? What then? We have a monster capable of destroying the _entire _Black Order within our grasp. What happens if he decides to help the Clan of Noah? Then they would have a super powerful weapon capable of annihilating each and every one of us that is what. We need a counter-measure. We need a backup plan in case he ever switches allegiances, or for whatever reason goes against the Black Order."_

_The room was silent yet again as people thought over his words, but a slow clap broke it. "Impressive speech Eddie. _Not. _Honestly, are you _that _paranoid? The End Result has a chip built into his brain that'll immediately fry his head off the second he disobeys a command. He has magic spells integrated into his entire body that will prevent him from touching anyone wearing a Rose Cross. What more do you need?"_

"_A military force capable of taking him down." Replied Leverrier, not missing a beat._

_Niccolo did his favourite habit; he scoffed. "A force capable of taking him down? There isn't one, that's how we made him to be."_

"_That is why I am proposing we construct one! What if he betrays us is all I am saying."_

"_He won't. That's all I'M saying."_

"_What if the chip malfunctions, hm? Or the spells are broken? In case _you _forgot, he is magic capable. What if he figures out how to unbind the spells from himself?"_

"_The spells are _designed _to be unbreakable by the one it's cast upon. And before you say it, the possibility of him figuring out the emergency passcode is slim to none. When, in its entire life, would it use the phrase 'bring forth salvation to this tormented Akuma's soul'?"_

"_What if he _does_? He is part Exorcist; 50 percent to be exact. We took DNA from the 14__th__; what if he has a momentary memory lapse, as it is said in the reports he is prone to having, and remembers _his_ memories and utters the phrase? There is a possibility of that happening, through and through, no matter _how _slim."_

"_Will you stop with the 'him' and 'he'? In case you forgot you twit, he has DNA of both female _and _male Exorcists and Noah. 'He' has no gender. 'He' is an 'it' ever since the project."_

"_Now you are evading the question, Sentinel. What if the chips fail and the spells break? What of it then? What line of defence do we have against _him_?" Leverrier accentuated the 'him', just to spite Niccolo._

_Niccolo, despite his apparent dislike for Leverrier and his paranoia, was a man of truth, and on his family name he had forbid himself from lying. He sighed, before admitting "yes, there is a chance of it happening. A very, very, _very _slim chance of it happening, but still, a chance. Happy?"_

_Leverrier nodded. "Quite. Now, if you would all just consider my proposition about the revival of the Second Exorcist program, I will continue to be so during the rest of this meeting."_

_Niccolos' eyes noticeably bulged. "You mean there's more to talk about? Oh come on! We've been here for three hours already! I'm itchin' for a drink."_

"_Listen you alcoholic-"_

_Niccolo stood up so abruptly that his chair was sent scattered onto the floor. "No, YOU listen Eddie. I'm not going to sit here and listen to any more of your prattle about 'just in case' plans when we have these already integrated into each and every project. A backup for a backup is just plain _useless._ Even you you paranoid son of a test tube have to admit that."_

_Leverrier too stood up abruptly; the difference between him and Niccolo being that his chair flew into the wall and shattered. "All backup plans have a chance of failing; my family has learned that the hard way you arrogant Sentinel, unlike yours. My family has been here since the beginning; yours, the second era. You know _nothing _of failure; all projects of yours have succeeded with flying colours. We had to endure the Second, Third, and _Fourth _Exorcist projects. My family and I all agree that a backup of a backup is not useless, and I would imagine that even the rest of your family will admit that having a plan C is not inherently a bad idea."_

_Niccolo's trademark one-eyed glare made every one, besides the currently standing and leaning on the table Leverrier, slink back in fear as the electricity between the two pulsed and squirmed._

"_The Leverrier family? Are you _kidding _me? Your family is a disgrace to the Black Order's name. It is only because the Pope forgave your family for what they did in the closing days of the First Era that you even _exist. _You, born of a cloning experiment gone awry, creating someone instead of Malcolm C. Leverrier, the only decent Leverrier, are a complete _failure. _You have no right to speak like that to me and my family, and if you continue to do so, I will have to choice but to challenge you to a gentleman's duel, the winner's reward being that of getting to keep breathing."_

"_Do not forget that the last gentleman's duel ended with your predecessor _dead_, Sentinel. Him slain by my hands. I know my way around a blade, you do not. Are you willing to take that risk?"_

"_You doubt my masculinity? Fine then. Speak with your mother about last night and you'll question no more!"_

"_Did you just insult someone who does not exist?"_

"_Yes, I just did. Problem?"_

* * *

_**PAST**_

* * *

_Is it just me, or does it feel like someone just told a YO MOMMA joke and made an internet meme reference and it wasn't us?_

Hm, strangely, no. I think we have some trademarking to do, Baron.

* * *

_**FUTURE**_

* * *

"_There should not be one beyond the obvious stupidity displayed on your end."_

"_My stupidity? Says the guy who doesn't speak with contractions!"_

"_Contractions are idiotic. Only idiots utilise them."_

"_What? Now you're criticising me for the way I speak?"_

"_In a sentence; yes, without question I am insulting you. It took you this long to realise that?"_

"_Probably because my mouth was too busy being filled with your wifes' parts!"_

"_What did you just say about my wife? I do not even have one!"_

"_Probably because my mouth is full of your wifes' parts!"_

"_What has become of this conversation?"_

_Niccolo shrugged. "I don't know. I think it began because you went down on your own mother…?"_

"_I DID NOT GO DOWN ON SOMETHING THAT DOES NOT EVEN EXIST!"_

"_YES YOU DID YOU SON OF A TEST TUBE!"_

"_I MUST DECLARE THAT I DID NOT!"_

"_AND I MUST DECLARE THAT YOU MOST CERTAINLY DID!"_

* * *

_**FUTURE**_

* * *

_Now it feels like someone is doing what we might do in a future cha- I mean in the future in posh speak._

I know, it's so weird.

_Weirder than me?_

No, Baron. It is not weirder than you, you Horse, child, and Rhino molesterer.

_Wasn't that YO MOMMA?_

Well, Baron, _actually_…

* * *

_**PAST (NAH I'M JUST KIDDING THIS IS ACTUALLY THE FUTURE)**_

* * *

_Leverrier and Niccolo were currently lodged in a stare down, as after their insulting session reached a climax of insults they both grabbed a broken chair leg and maintained a distance. By this point everyone, excluding the Pope and his associates, had left out of fear for what usually happened next in this situation._

"_Make your move, Leverrier. Unless you're, _chicken_…" Taunted Niccolo, as he moved in perfect sync with Edward D. Leverrier._

"_I am not being a farm and or to be turned into lunch animal, I am merely waiting for a strategic advantage."_

_Niccolo chuckled evilly. "Strategic advantage? Isn't that what normal people call 'inbreeding'?"_

_Leverrier launched himself at Niccolo, with his bare hands, at the speed and with the ferocity of a full grown Black Bear. Niccolo didn't expect Leverrier to abandon his weapon, and stood shocked for a moment._

_But a moment was all it took for Leverrier to start strangling Niccolo with everything he had._

"_ACK! ACK! ACK!" – Official strangslation (Geddit) – "FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!"_

* * *

_**PRESENT**_

* * *

_That feelings there again._

I feel it too.

_Winters comin'. That's got to be it._

Pfff, Winters just a myth made by the Atheists to scare off true Christians.

…_Right._

* * *

_**PASRETURE**_

* * *

"_SOTP ASTGAGUALTI ON!" – Official strangslation – "STOP STRANGELING ME!"_

"_I WILL STOP THIS ACT OF STRANGELING YOU IMMEDIATELY AFTER YOU APOLOGISE FOR INSULTING MY FAMILY!"_

"_ACK JO!" – Official strangslation – "FUCK NO!"_

"_YOU WILL DO IT OTHERWISE I WILL MURDER YOU RIGHT HERE AND NOW!"_

"_SUIC KN SODI YHO SOF NG A TRSE TUIEB!" – Official strangslation – "SUCK MY DICK YOU SON OF A TEST TUBE!"_

"_I PROTEST THESE INTOLERABLE ARUGMENTS! IT WILL TAKE ONE EASY STRANGLE-MENT FOR ME TO WOOP YOUR HIND-QUARTERS!"_

"_DIS YFO USIJ MAEK AG ERPC PAR BATLEK FP HSITROY REFEJFNK E ON YM?" – Official strangslation – "DID YOU JUST MAKE AN EPIC RAPE BATTLES OF HISTORY REFERENCE TO ME?"_

"_OF COURSE NOT! DO YOU MISTAKE ME FOR SOME USER OF CHEAP RAPS?"_

"_IF I WANS'T EBGIH STINANJNGL IGHY NOW, I WPDUIO KL FUCKIGHN IKOL YOU." – Official strangslation – "IF I WASN'T BEING STRANGLED RIGHT NOW, I WOULD FUCKING KILL YOU."_

_As the conversation of epic fail-ortions continued, the Popes' associates stared quizzically at each other. And then at the two grown men arguing like twelve year olds. And then back at each other. And then back at the grown men. Each other. Grown men. Each other. Grown men. Other. Men. Other. Men._

_THEY WERE STARING AT THE OTHER MEN! And then stared at each other. Quizzically._

"_And people wonder why we're losing this war…" The one left of the Pope said._

"_Because our faith isn't strong enough?" Offered the Archbishop, of who was sitting to the right of the Pope._

_The one left of the Pope, we'll call him Cardinal for now, responded with a soft chuckle "if our faith was the issue, we'd have lost a long time ago."_

_The Archbishop smiled. "Strangely, I don't disagree with you. Damn those Atheists, they're convincing too many people with reason not to follow the Catholic Church!"_

_The Cardinal stared with a glazed over expression at the Archbishop as he went into another rant about how the Atheists did this or the Atheists did that, and internally he was saying "you know, I don't think it's faith as to why we're losing this war anymore, I think it has something to do with intelligence…"_

_The Cardinal sighed. Right now, he wished he was anywhere else. Anywhere. Hell, he'd settle for being inside of the TTD, Time Travelling Device, which had a 75 percent chance of killing him. The 25 percent chance of him surviving and going into the Era of the First Black Order and meeting that insufferable asshole (Or so the word around was) Adam Phoenix Millennium probably being the only reason why he wasn't leaving now. Well, that and the fact that he's supposed to be there with the Pope. _

_But no one cares about the Pope._

_It appeared the Cardinal Jinxed himself, as after dodging another piece of furniture/shrapnel they all heard the sound of someone stirring._

_It was the Pope._

_He was stirring._

"_S9 SHTI, THW POEQ!" – Official strangslation – "OH SHIT, THE POPE!"_

_Everyone stopped everything they were doing. The Archbishop held his rant in his throat, and slowly swivelled his head in the Pope's direction. The Cardinal watched with wide eyes as the Pope stirred slightly more so. Leverrier dropped the piece of cloth he was using to choke Niccolo and looked over to the Pope with the same expression as the Cardinal, and afore mentioned victim Niccolo craned his head in sync to Leverrier._

_Nobody moved. Nobody breathed. Nobody blinked. Nobody twitched. Complete stillness overcame the room, in the guise of fear._

_Such was the fear everyone held of His Holiness The Pope._

_It was an easy concept why he commanded such fear from his subjects; this Pope was a person who misused his powers on a daily basis, to do the most extreme of things to people that crossed him in any way shape or form._

_He once gave the Black Order the order to execute the individual who made the Mona Lisa and everyone he ever loved, ever saw, anyone he had a connection to. And all due to the Pope not liking the way the female in the painting smiled._

_It was almost comical; until you heard the screams of what the man ordered on people that gave him the wrong kind of Monster Energy Drink._

_Another thing to remember about his character; he is known for saying 'Fuck the vow of poverty; I'm fuckin' buyin' everythin' and everyone I god damn want! And I'm gonna fuckin' enjoy it! Come over here little Billy, I got a present for ya fuckin' asshole!' at his inauguration ceremony. How he still became Pope, no one knew, but most believed it had something to do with Blackmail. And by that, I mean that the Pope gave the men who voted for him a black kid each in the mail to bribe them._

_The latest polls suggest people still prefer him over Mitt Romney (Of who was also running for Pope at the same time as the current one)._

_The video of him at his inauguration ceremony is the second most watched YouTube video in history; totalling in at 1.5 Billion views. Second because Gangnam Style is at two billion. (Unfortunately Psy didn't live to see it; he was involved in a very tragic accident when making a song with Nicki Minaj. She sat on him by mistake.)_

_Anyway, people shitting their pants out one hole and pissing them from another later, the Pope stirred slightly more so, and immediately Leverrier shouted "ACT LEGAL!"_

_This snapped everyone out of their trances, and Niccolo and Leverrier moved like children trying to hide their dirty magazines from their mother to clean up the mess they made._

"_IF YOU MENTION THIS" – and by that he of course meant his and Niccolo's arguing – "TO ANYONE, I AM TELLING THE POPE THAT YOU WERE THE ONE THAT GOT HIM THE WRONG KIND OF MONSTER ENERGY DRINK!" Whispered harshly Leverrier to the Archbishop and Cardinal._

_No sooner than they managed to remove all traces of the rooms previous messy existence (contirbuted to by the Archbishop and Cardinal slightly as they thought of the things possibly done to them by the Pope) had the Pope stirred once more, before opening his eyes with a yawn, and a scratch of his ass._

"_Mornin' Ho's. How are your pathetic lives doin' this fuckin' day?" Asked His Holiness The Pope._

"_F-Fine, Your Holiness." Replied the Archbishop, shortly before getting a backhand from the Pope._

"_I WASN'T FUCKIN' SPEAKIN' TO YOU!" Shouted the Pope._

"_S-Sorry Your Holiness, I did not mean-"_

"_Save it you fuckin' waste of space. GUARDS! SEND THIS FUCKIN' DISGRACE TO THE CHOPPIN' BLOCK!" As if waiting for his command, which they probably were, two Vatican Guards came in and hauled the Archbishop out, kicking and screaming._

"_I'M SORRY YOUR HOLINESS! PLEASE, I DID NOT MEAN YOU ANY ILL FEELINGS! PLEASE! SPARE ME! I HAVE A FAMILY! PLEASE!" The Archbishops words fell upon old, wrinkled, not caring ears._

_The man continued pleading for his life as he was dragged down the hall, and past it. Leverrier stared, impassive. Niccolo mimicked him. The Cardinal showed a face of open 'not again'-esq emotion._

_Such was the asshole of a Pope that the Black Order had._

"_Ahem." Leverrier cleared his throat to gain the Pope's attention, and he swivelled around with a glare aimed straight for Leverrier's face._

"_The fuck do you fuckin' want?" Asked the Pope._

"_Sir, Your Holiness, I need to speak to you about an issue which I believe is of great concern."_

"_Pfff, if it was of great concern then it would have already been brought to my fuckin' attention, fuckin' idiot." Were the Pope not going to execute him for it, Niccolo would have face-palmed._

"_Sir, Your Holiness, I AM bringing it to your attention."_

"_Oh. Fuckin' righteous. Proceed, Subject." Fun Pope Fact: Subject was the kindest word he knew in his dictionary._

"_Sir, Your Holiness, I believe we need to revive the Second Exorcist Project." Leverrier told the Pope in the calmest voice possible._

"_Why the fuck would we need to fuckin' do that?"_

"_Sir, Your Holiness, the Sixth Exorcist Project has succeeded, and created the monster we were aiming to make-"_

"_Skip the fuckin' backstory. Just explain. I'm too fuckin' old for this fuckin' shit."_

"_Yes Sir, Your Holiness. The Second Exorcist Project will help win this war through-"_

"_It'll fuckin' help? Fuckin' good enough for me. You have my fuckin' go ahead. Use whatever resources are fuckin' necessary. If that is fuckin' all, I'll leave."_

"_Y-yes Sir, Your Holiness." Leverrier may have had prior dealings with the Pope, but for him to actually just say 'yeah, sure' or the equivalent without a proper reason? That was something different. That was something…off._

_He decided for the sake of not getting executed that he wouldn't question it; he'd need to do some investigating, or rather get Ezio to do it, about this._

_The Pope gestured for the Cardinal to push him, as he was in the most pimped out wheelchair one could imagine, and left with the Cardinal pushing him._

_Leverrier invited everyone else to come back inside as soon as the Pope left, and they did so begrudging the Pope._

_They took their seats, and Leverrier startled everyone by saying "the Pope has already agreed to lend me all resources necessary. You are all dismissed."_

_With a collective grumble, the Great Generals, Inspectors, and those above them, disappeared through the door. Most wondered why they even came to the meeting the first place. Others were wondering why they even existed if they were never even going to be expanded upon as characters._

_But who cares about them, let's go back to Leverrier and Niccolo now, shall we?_

_Anyway so tweedleretard and tweedledumbass (Niccolo and Leverrier respectively) dusted themselves off, stared at each other for a few moments, and then laughed._

"_They don't suspect a thing!" Said Niccolo merrily._

_Leverrier calmed down quick enough; Niccolo didn't, and he continued to laugh throughout the rest of the conversation. "Obviously, they do not, yes. The Second Exorcist Project, that's going through."_

"_I was there for that, yeah."_

"_And so is our plan."_

"_You bet your artificially made ass it is!"_

_Leverrier smiled evilly, and Niccolo followed suite._

"_We got 'em, Eddie. We got 'em. All those before us sacrificed to make this happen are not in vain anymore. Now, after the beginning of the Second Exorcist Project…"_

"…_we proceed to step two." Finished Leverrier._

* * *

_**(DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNN)  
BACK TO THE FUTUREPASTTHINGAMAJIG**_

* * *

The Twins scoped the room out; running their eyes over the room like a fine tooth comb, looking for whatever caused the explosions.

Said causer of explosions was hiding underneath his bed, he slid into this position from his previous one seconds ago, watching and waiting for an opportunity to strike.

"I don't see anyone, hee hee~~." Jasdero said.

"Well, the Akuma didn't just blow by themselves! Keep looking!" Devit ordered.

"Okay, hee hee~~." Jasdero replied.

Hm, structural weakness detected, b*tch. The black short haired one (Who Baron told me was called Devit) was the alpha of the two, and the blonde long haired other (Who the marshmallow told me was called Jasdero) appeared to be the dominated one.

I smirked. Deception ef tee dubbayou.

When neither of them was looking, I made a flame replica of Jasderos' vocal cords and projected it in-between Devit and Jasdero's heads. It shouted "DUMBASS! HEE HEE~~" before dispersing.

Both turned to each other at the noise, and in the space of the second that they saw nothing between them Devit hit Jasdero over the head with his Golden Gun.

"Oi! Why'd you call me a dumbass, dumbass?" He yelled.

"I DID NOT! HEE HEE~~!" Jasdero retaliated with.

Their hands tightened around the grip of their guns, but neither fired.

Yet.

"YOU DID!"

"NU-UH! HEE HEE~~!"

"YOU DID! DON'T LIE!"

"HEE HEE~~! I'M NOT LYING!"

"YEAH YOU ARE!"

"HEE~! NO I'M NOT!"

I had to supress laughter; this plan is _gold._

They were both all up in their faces about the other lying, and it looked for a moment they would do battle. That moment passed, but it served to me a reminder that my plan was working.

I love the smell of deception in the morning.

_And I love the smell of YO MOMMA's flap jack's in the morning._

Now's not the time; I got srs bsns to attend to.

_Okeydokey._

To push them over the edge, I need one last push…

…and it came in the form of Devit.

Let me explain. As I did originally, I created a flame replica of a Noah's vocal cords. This time it was of, you guessed correctly, Devits'.

When they had their back turned to each, the vocal cords made their in the gap that separated their heads from being one entity, and spoke. "I HATE YOU, JASDERO, AND I WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN!"

That struck a nerve, if Jasdero's aura was anything to go by.

Devit turned around, mystified at how he heard his own voice and yet he did not speak, and was met with a pistol whip. "YOU, YOU WISH DERO WAS NEVER BORN?" His giggle was a humourless dark one, and made Devit recline a few feet away.

"J-Jasdero…?" Devit asked. He wasn't used to seeing his brother, or his other half depending on who you ask, _this _angry before. And what's more, is he _still _couldn't figure out how the hell his voice was duplicated and spoke on its own or something like that. He didn't know; poor education does that to you.

Afore mentioned Jasdero was _seething_, _furious, pissed off to the __**extreme. **_His own brother had said what he could consider the ultimate betrayal; and he was not happy. Not in the slightest. "I-IS THAT HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT DERO?"

To describe this sequence in simple format:

Me under bed: MWUAHAHAHAHA! SUCK MY INGENIOUS PLOTTING MOTHERF*CKER!

Devit: Wha-what…what is this I don't even…

Jasdero: DEVIT-IRE YOU MOTHERFUCKER!

Baron: RIP HIS DICK OFF! COME ON! RIP IT OFF! RIP IT OFF! RIP IT OFF! RIP IT OFF! Okay, admittedly he's family, so leave the sack. BUT STILL! RIP HIS DICK OFF! COME ON! DO IT!

To describe what happened next:

Jasdero hate-filled glare turned sorrowful quickly, and tears quickly streamed down his face. "IS THAT HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT DERO?" He reiterated.

Devit stood speechless; a shocked expression of quivering eyes the only indication that he was alive. "What…what kind of question is that?" Devit asked slowly.

Jasdero must have interpreted it wrong, as I hoped he would, and his facial expression turned very, _very _sour. "So it…SO IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING THAT YOU HATE DERO?!"

_That _made Devit start up again. "Wha- No! You're my brother Jasdero. You're family. I could never hate you."

Jasdero quickly spun on his heel, but the last glance Devit go of Jasdero's face was of pure disgust.

"Even now you lie. I _heard _you loud and clear. You said you hate me, so you know what? DERO HATES YOU TOO! DERO WISHES YOU TOO WERE NEVER BORN!" Jasdero shouted before running out of the doors, badly masking his tears.

Devit stood stock-still, mind unable to comprehend what just happened until moments after they happened. But then, when they did register, Devit wasted no time running after Jasdero in a desperate bid to explain that he didn't say anything like that.

I came out from under the bed; calm at first, before I smirked. That was replaced with a grin.

Then a smile.

Followed by a malicious one.

Subsequently a deadly grin.

And after all that?

Full, pot-bellied, _laughter._

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" My laughter roared through the halls and through doors and into rooms far away from where I was at the time. My laughter reached ears in a thunder clap esq shock effect, making all wonder what could make such an evil sounding noise.

I laughed and laughed and laughed and _laughed _until my throat was aching, and at that point it diminished into a soft, evil chuckle.

Truly though, what made me stop was when I realised I wasn't the only one laughing.

There, on the side of the room opposite of the door, was Rhode, legs up in the air as she laughed relentlessly.

I quirked an eyebrow at her quivering form.

"Rhode? You were _watching_?"

* * *

**AN: And I reiterate what I've already said like a million times DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!**

**Now, a few things before you speak about Rhode's apparent OOCness and the Twin's OOCness.**

**Rhode's is simple; whilst she protects her family like a lioness her cubs, she doesn't view what Adam did as something that hurt her family. It'll be given more detail in the next chapter. It's how I interpret her character anyway.**

**The Twins OOCness is also simple; it is from my evaluation of what they say that I wrote them as they are. For instance; in the manga, Jasdero refers to himself as 'Dero' when in distress, and will say hee only in other situations beside being stressed, hence why he didn't say it when he thought he heard his own brother say he wish he was never born. So, that is why they do what they do. Or why they did what they did, whatever tense works anymore.**

**Ciao, peeps, and expect a Christmas special all right.**


	33. Dear Diar- I mean Journal, FCK!

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

* * *

_Chapter 31: Dear Diar- I mean, Journal, F*CK!_

* * *

**Journal: Entry 1: **_With and On Shipping: Make it happen_

**Date: **_How The F*ck Would I Know? There Isn't A Calender Here_

**Location: **_YO MOMMA's House (Noah Mansion, possibly mansion of a noble family)_

_I think I have officially gone off the deep end. Like, I think that now my sanity has abandoned me and my insanity has gone and had butt secks with the rest of my mind._

_Why? The reason is simple; it's what I'm writing in now._

_That's right. I believe to be insane because I started a Journal using materials 'acquired' from the Library and Study rooms of this mansion. And by acquired, I mean borrowed. And by borrowed, I mean acquired._

_Continue that chain of thought until your mind feels like it's been f*cked by your insanity._

_Now, we're on equal grounds of strangeness. That's good. But now you're insane. That's bad._

_Moving past the butt secks Baron and his most certainly straight twelve year old boyfriend had and insanity and Baron's a paedophile by the way, I started this for a mixture of a few reasons._

_Why mixture? Because some of the reasons overlap. I'll explain, just give me a sec or a line or two, 'kay?_

_First reason was simple; pondering. I find that writing down what I think helps to focus my deep thinking skills. It's almost my equivalent of Bear Grills and his piss drinking. "Time to write my own piss (thoughts)," basically. Of course, considering the fact that I've only ever written anything off scree- I mean never written in the report of my writing-ness, and that I've never had anything to write with slash on this entire time. Did I just say slash, instead of forward slash, therefore meaning that 'with' and 'on' are now officially a shipping? Yes. I did. Expect fanfic with With and On lemon inbound. Well, With has an 'I' and On has an 'o', so it'll be a lemon made in letter heaven._

_And by that I obviously mean With is going to stick his ienos in On's oagos._

_But wait, isn't slash meant for homosexual relationships?_

_Well, here's how it works:_

_Fuck you, that's how._

_Simple, ain't it?_

_Door of reason number two has boredom behind it. My internal debates always end up as stalemates. I've thought the Earl's proposition over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and OVER until my head felt like it was going to re-enact the Big Bang. I'm a monster. I should be with my own kind. But on a moral level I should be with the Black Order, even if I am punished as severely as I believe I will be._

_Long story short; I know the Leverrier family, and me being gone for this long? They're, or rather, Malcolm C. Leverrier is, going to assume that I am a traitor. It's oh so suspicious that I've been away for this long, and no doubt that I've given them secrets about the Black Order and I've been lying about my captivity and that I fucked Leverrier's mother last night blah blah blah. Whatever reason it is, I know Leverrier will use it to persecute me. I just know it._

_Admittedly, I might just be paranoid. I might come home, Lenalee will get on her knees, and I'll get a real good welcome from not just her but also every chick I've ever wondered how they were in bed._

_I truly could just walk back and find that I'm in a harem, the fantasy of every man everywhere._

_But, this isn't some fanfiction from some retarded guy with a name that has 6 meanings to it, (__**AN: *Cough***__) so that won't happen. In fact, I'll probably get there, and before I can say 'WAAAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZUP ' I'll be put in chains and locked in a cell, pending trial._

_So, I either get sadistic pleasure and my conscious annoying me for the rest of my life, or I get a content (ish) conscious and death for all of the time it takes for me to be executed._

_Funnily enough, this is arguably one of the least complicated decisions in all of history. Seriously. There's undoubtedly some kind of person, or Wolf (Maybe even a lone one with 689 at the end of his name) thing that would jump at the chance to join the Noah. Or, for me to, anyway. And then, there's undoubtedly someone that would jump at the chance to join the Black Order, or for me to._

_For them, it must be like 'YOU IDIOT! CHOOSE THE BLACK ORDER/NOAH! IT'S OBVIOUSLY THE RIGHT CHOICE! GRRRR!' every day that I spend pondering my decision._

_Meh. F*ck 'em._

_I can't decide, therefore I am bored is the short summary._

_Third reason is pretty stupid. I feel that writing down my Philosophical debating might help me make up my mind. So, it's a solution to two and a direct continuation of one. Told ya they overlapped._

_So, here it is, from the ground, up._

* * *

_**PHILOSOPHICAL DEBATING: SRS BSNS**_

_**DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT HAVE ANY APPETITE FOR ANYTHING REMOTELY COOL OR AWESOME AND WISH TO SUCK LOTS OF D*CK FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH A DOUCHE YOU ARE**_

_**THAT IS ALL**_

_**ALSO, FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER #TheAkumaFucker (Makes sense in a couple chapters)**_

* * *

_I, am a monster. _

_I know this not through the idea of platonic ideals, in which I know myself to be a monster because I coincide with what I know a monster to be. _

_I know this because I kill, therefore I am._

_I killed an entire village of people whilst smiling. I revelled in the slaughter, the massacre. I laughed as I burned house after house, as I butchered family after family, as I looked into the fearful eyes of children and oh so happily removed their heads from their shoulders._

_Despite my conscious, my tears of guilt, I know myself to still be a monster. Why? Why when a monster can't cry? Why, when a monster feels no remorse?_

_Because, what am I if I am not a monster? I am not an Exorcist; I hate humanity. And yet, I am not a Noah; I am an Exorcist, in contradiction to the fact that I'm not._

_I am an Exorcist, yet I am not an Exorcist._

_I am a Noah, yet I am not a Noah._

_I am a monster, yet I am not a monster._

_I am a thief, yet I am not a thief._

_I am Adam Phoenix Millennium, yet I am not Adam Phoenix Millennium._

_I am the Millennium Earl, yet I am not the Millennium Earl._

_I am human, yet I am not human._

_I, exist. And that is that. I exist. I am an entity of Innocence and Dark Matter, containing the world's greatest threat as my mental roommate. I am a being of sorrow and hate, anger and disgust, war and pestilence. And that is closest to a monster, therefore I am one._

_Then that answer begets another question; if I exist, then why? Why do I exist, then? What grand purpose or purpose at all, am I to fulfil?_

_Is my existence meaningless? Or am I meant to conquer, destroy, save, or do nothing to, the world? Do I build an empire on the backs of my enemies and crown myself ruler as I am the strongest that ever was, is, and ever will be? Do I crush my foes with my power and make the planet follow suite in their decaying wake? Do I obliterate all that oppose the Black Order and save this hunk of rock and allow it to live? Or do I do nothing in the grand scheme of things? Am I to be sacrificed for a false cause at the hands of the 14__th__ when he overcomes Allen Walker? To die alone and forgotten in this Holy secret war? To be a casualty of said war?_

_Why do I exist? Is there a reason to my existence? Do I exist entirely because of a long chain of events that led to my birth? Am I only breathing now because of chance? Is chance the only object of interest when it comes to gods? Is chance the only thing that decides anything and everything?_

_Am I a thief? Stupid question; yes, I am. But am I truly? Is my existence to steal? To take what is not mine? To claim what should never be mine? Is my existence to defy it, in of itself? Do I exist because the Devil decided to f*ck with god and make me? To be a meaningless tool in a grand scheme? To be a pawn in a giant chess game of godly proportions?_

_Am I a liar? Also a stupid question; yes, I am. Is my existence only meant to cause chaos? Only meant to sow the seeds of destruction? To cause general havoc? To confuse, confound and confine my opponents?_

_Why? Why do I exist? What? What am I truly? Who? Who am I truly?_

_I do not have answers to any question, and so the cycle goes on. The cycle of forever never knowing who I am, and what I am. Of why I exist, or if there is a why to why I exist._

_I only know an answer to this maelstrom of questions. I am Adam Phoenix Millennium for the shear fact that it is my name, and nothing else. That is the one certainty; that I am who I am. _

_Adam Phoenix Millennium, my name, my proof, my pride._

_Exorcist, Thief, Noah, Millennium Earl, monster, human. My titles, my proof of my existence, my source of self-loathing._

* * *

**END OF ENTRY 1:**_** With and On Shipping: Make it happen**_

* * *

"…You read my Journal?" Shit shit shitshithsithsihtishtishtish tihsithhsih – BOOM! Rhode had read my Journal, she told me so when I asked she was watching and she replied 'no, I was reading.' To which led to me asking what she was reading, and her replying with 'your Journal.' And that led to this question, and the following conversation.

She nodded. "It was why I was laughing, as I said. I was reading it whilst you were preoccupied with the twins. I've got to say Adam, you are really are interesting. Your philosophical quandaries are just oh so funny. I couldn't help myself."

Cue me shaking like a leaf as she spoke next. "Although, I was unfamiliar with a few terms in it, such as 'fanfics, lemon, SRS BSNS, Slash, Shipping, Bear Grills and his piss, and follow me some weird symbol and 'The Akuma Fucker'."

I believe a cuss is in order.

"Shit."

"Care to explain what these terms are, Adam?" Rhode asked with curiosity.

Lying through my teeth and major bogus explanation in three, two, one…

"First off, fanfics are fiction written by fans, short for fanatics, of a series. This could be something like a fan writing a rewrite of the original story, or introduction of an OC, OC standing for original character, which basically does the foremost since it'll be changed to accommodate the original character. So, a fanfic could be a story written by a fan that involves adding someone like, err, Adolf Hitler, yeah that's a good 'random' name, to the story and making it so that the story does things differently. The characters never going to Edo, Japan or going into a boat Ark thingy or whatever could be a way that the plot is changed.

Secondly, SRS BSNS is short of 'serious business', it's just something I made up because I wanted to save time when writing. Thirdly, slash is a term I made up as well. A 'slash' relationship is a sexual kind between two men. It too is to save time when writing. Fourthly, Shipping is a term within fanfiction circles meaning which two characters end up with each other. 'Shipping' could be you and Allen Walker, for instance. I could say I 'ship' you two, meaning I support any and all relationships between you two." Rhode's mind had obviously been going giving the ways her eyes had been rolling up into her head during my explanation, but the second I mentioned shipping her and Allen, her attention was back like a rabid dog on fresh meat.

It might describe their relationship if they ever did end up together considerably better than any other kind of explanation, when you think about it.

But then it was lost when she drifted off thinking of him. I, slightly irritated, said "okay, since you obviously don't want to hear about my explanation, I'll just leave." I took very slow, very loud steps, and did so four more times before Rhode snapped out of it and asked me where I thought I was going. Cue badass response.

"To do your mother?"

She 'hmphed' playfully, and said "nice try, but you still owe me an explanation."

Sighing and walking back to where I was, I began explaining. Again.

"Fifthly, Bear Grills is a guy I know who drinks his own piss a lot. So, it became a running gag where I would narrate after everything he did in my best imitation of his voice 'time to drink my own piss.' I wrote that Journal for me and me only, so that's why there are terms you are unfamiliar with. Sixth, that weird symbol is a hashtag. For shits and giggles, me and the kids I used get beaten by would use a hashtag in front of their names because they heard it from somewhere and thought it was funny. Seventh, 'The Akuma Fucker' is because I f*ck Akuma in the ass via destroying them. Lastly, Lemon is, um, think of how Babies are made and that's what a Lemon is." I sighed, and gingerly ran a hand over my throat. Now, it was burning again. "That answer all your questions?"

"Not quite." Her face turned menacing. "How do you know about the 14th? What is this about Neah being within Allen? Why are _you _calling yourself the Millennium Earl? And a Noah? How do you know of Malcolm C. Leverrier and his family when they aren't part of the Count's scenario yet?" Rhode questioned.

"Cross Marian, my master, explained it to me. All of it. He trusted me, as his smart apprentice, to know about the 14th, Noah, Malcolm C. Leverrier and his family. As for why he trusted me, he said that I'd need the information to do what I must do, as his apprentice. Protect Allen, as he is needed for something important." I honest to god need to get paid for this amazing acting. Like, seriously.

"Then why are you calling yourself the Millennium Earl and a Noah? And what is Allen needed for?" Rhode inquired.

"It was Cross that made me do the foremost. He told me the current track that I was on would turn me into a mirror image of the Millennium, that my path would turn me into his successor. Being called the epitome of all evil's successor has kind of sticked with me, in a haunted way. As for the self-classification as a Noah, then what'd you call me? I'm already a member of this family the Clan of Noah, willing or unwilling, so why not? Remember; I wrote that Journal for me and me only. Cross didn't explain why I had to protect Allen; just that I did. That all?"

I held a breath as Rhode deliberated over my question. A few painstaking moments later, she responded "no. That's it. I need to go tell Millennie about this, although…" and I released my breath, albeit in a relented fashion. She tilted her head to the side and continued however. "I want to hear more about that village you exterminated. Spare no detail. I want to hear the full story."

I sighed, and sat on the bed with a sorrowful look, etched with guilt and terrible memories. "I. I'd rather not tell the story, Rhode."

Rhode gained a similar face. "It's fine. I just want to hear it from you. Now," she mischievously smiled, "I'll have to ask Millennie about any villages destroyed not by Akuma hands. He'd probably know something about anything like that." That, was pure blackmail. I swear to god. That girl was blackmailing me. Oh, f*ck me. I've seen enough Hentai to know where this is going…

"You wouldn't." I said calmly, voice threatening on breaking into pleading for her not to.

"I would." She assured.

"You wouldn't tell the Earl."

"I would tell the Earl.

"You can't tell the Earl."

"I can tell the Earl."

"You can't break those cuffs."

She quirked an eyebrow. "What?"

"Nothing." I said quickly. "Fine. I'll tell you, but know doing this causes me significant distress and expect a lawsuit on your ass."

Grumbling to myself angrily, I sat on my bed, and sighed into my hands that I used to stroke my face. Rhode sat opposite of me in a chair I didn't even realise that the room had.

Seriously. Reality must be dying in a corner somewhere, forever alone.

Speaking of things dying in a corner somewhere or at least I wish, Rhode waited patiently for me to begin.

For all of thirty seconds.

Afterwards, she became slightly fidgety. She moved vaguely, and then at a marginally accelerated rate, and then more so, and then more so, and then more so. In the space of five minutes Rhode had gone from perfect stillness to perfect chaos, via annoyingly moving in her chair, making it creak and groan to the point I honestly considered strangling the piece of furniture. "ENOUGH! I'll tell you, just stop fidgeting." I said, relenting under the pressure of what I was willing to assume was a spastic child.

She smiled. "Finally. Took you long enough."

Cue eyebrow twitch. "People don't just speak of experiences that cause them great guilt just like that you know. Great pleasure, yes. Like me and your mother last night."

She, whilst still maintaining her smile, said "say one more thing about my mother," a dozen candles surrounded me, "and I kill you without hesitation. Got it~~?"

Staring at the candle that was aimed directly for my sack, I said "y-yes Rhode."

"Good." The candles didn't dissipate. Insurance I guessed.

I cleared my throat, and stayed quiet for a few seconds before starting in earnest. "I don't know the villages name exactly, but it was a village in…"

* * *

_**~The Following Day~**_

* * *

I sat, across from Tykki, memory of why I was to be staring down the man that had tried to strangle me not a few days prior still fresh in my mind.

* * *

_**FLASHBACK TO THE PAST**_

* * *

"_You want me to what?" I asked the Millennium Earl._

"_To try and get to know the rest of your family~~." The Earl reiterated._

"_No, I heard _that _part, but I didn't hear the part where I had no choice in the matter."_

_I was in the Earl's room or ME (Millennium Earl) Phone Home room as I had dubbed it, given the tremendous amount of Phones. Well, he is bound to have a long finger with what he probably does to children…_

"_I'm not forcing you~~, that is true~~, all I'm saying is that for you to make the best choice possible, you must learn all you can, and that includes about us~~. I won't force you to get to know Tykki, or Lulubell, or Rhode, or the Twins Jasdero and Debit, or anyone in your family, but think of it this way; if you are going to return to the Black Order, wouldn't you want to do so with a wealth of information about your enemies~~?"_

* * *

_**FLASHBACK TO THE FUTURE (ISH)**_

* * *

And that's why I'm here now. If you want to know what happened between me and Rhode and everything, press 10 on your keyboard. If you want to stop being gullible, press 11. If you want to stop being stupid, press 13. That is all.

"So, Tykki, do you like strangling people or am I just that stranglable?" I asked, trying to break the silence that had overcome both of us the second I walked into the Library minutes ago.

He stared blankly back, and blinked. "Depends on the situation. Is stranglable even a word?"

I mimicked him, and said "depends on the stranglable. Is situation even a word?"

Tykki sighed. "Look, boy, I'm only here because Lord Millennium wants you to join us. I'm not to set on the idea myself. I trust Exorcists as far as I can throw them, figuratively speaking of course."

I shrugged. "I understand why. I trust Noah as far as I can throw them myself, but that's only due to me being an Exorcist and obviously you don't trust your enemies. Honestly though, I think I know enough about you already. I've spoken to Rhode about you, I've seen you myself, and been in your room and investigated your things."

Tykkis' eyes noticeably bulged. "You _what_?"

"I went into your room to investigate your things. The Millennium Earl did say that if I was intending to return to the Order then I should treat this as an information hunt rather than socialising."

Tykki's eyebrow was raised. "Then why are you here if you are already leaning towards joining the Black Order?"

I smirked. "To confirm my analysis. Stop me if I'm incorrect, alright?" When Tykki looked uncaring back, I took that as a sign to go ahead.

"Okay, so you presumably smoked prior to your awakening to cover up a depression of what I'm willing to assume is a dead family member, but you carried on smoking after your awakening, presumably out of habit…no, no, the one who probably died was your lover. That's why you spend your time as the Lady Killer, to fill that hole in your life, isn't it?"

Tykki shifted uncomfortably. "You're wrong, boy."

I smirked knowingly. "Then why didn't you stop me for being incorrect?"

We sent stares/glares to the others face, me and Tykki holding our respective style of looking at each other.

Tykki sighed. "Boy, you're a pain, you know that? Why did I even bother?"

I slumped into my chair and 'hmphed' as I smirked. "I presume the latter question is aimed at yourself or are you asking me to analyse why you bothered?"

Tykki didn't even respond to me, and instead stood up and made his way out. My conscious stabbing me with a pitchfork, I called out to Tykki. "Wait!" He stopped just before closing the door. I gripped my pant leg, and said two words, and a few others, I didn't think I'd ever say to Tykki. "I'm sorry. That was uncalled for. I guess I'm still slightly upset that you strangled me. I shouldn't have said that or done those things."

Tykki took a step back, spun around, and calmly walked back to his seat opposite to me. "Are you willing to talk like a normal person or did I come back for nothing?" He asked as soon as his found a comfortable position on his seat.

"The foremost."

Tykki leaned forward slightly in his chair, bent to his smoking demons via taking a cigarette out and lighting it, and said "well, speak then, boy. I haven't got all day."

Making sure I was comfortable in my chair, I began our conversation. Our, legitimate one.

And so, began the beginning of a beautiful (Or as beautiful as a relationship between two men can get. OH GOD, MY EYES) friendship. Of sorts. In where I was terrified of getting mutilated by him and I suspected that he actually was enjoying the dominatrix esq position he had over me.

F*ck it, it's beautiful.

* * *

**AN: What Adam says. Despite what I feel to be an inequality of this chapter compared to previous ones, basically me thinks this chapter sucking a great deal more than otehr chapters, I think it's beautiful.**

**Now excuse me, I have to go chase a Lepredragon.**

**Well that and work on the Christmas special. **

**I hope you don't mind me, or meth, because its a chapter made by the former whilst high on the latter.**


	34. cHRISTMAS sPECIAL! Part 1

**D. gRAY-METH: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

* * *

_cHRISTMAS sPECIAL (Part 1 third of 12)_

* * *

**AN: Plenty of you are wondering why this chapter was deleted and reposted. Well, it's a few things.**

**One was because originally, me being the person with quite blatant flaws didn't realise that my ending of the previous version of cHRISTMAS sPECIAL part 1 was, for lack of a better word, disgraceful until I got visually/verbally falcon punched. Here's what happened: Got a PM reply from CrazySarahify (once again, apologies for the chapter) of who admitted that she didn't really like the whole Orgy thing, to put it lightly. That hit me like a truck, and made me realise upon reading the ending again that it wasn't funny. It was just plain _disgusting. _So, to make amends, I removed it and replaced it with an alternative ending. I find this ending to be funnier for me.**

**Two was because I didn't realise until actually writing this AN that I could have just altered the chapter itself on the site and not have to alter the original Word document for less work. :P Woops.**

**Basically, I want to deeply apologise to any man, woman, child, man child, woman child, and anything sentient that might have read the previous ending. I hope that the new ending makes amends properly and doesn't offend anyone. I honestly do.**

**This chapter is for CrazySarahify: I'm Sayuka, and you're my Madoka. You snapped me out it, and I thank you for it.**

**Now, LET'S ROCK!**

* * *

Quick question. What would you do if you found the Millennium Earl, _naked_, and _in your bed_?

Because I did.

"AHHHH STRANGER DANGER STRANGER DANGER!" I shouted as I ran out of my proclaimed room and into the hallways of the Noah Mansion.

I soon found after stopping for a breath that this wasn't the only strange happening.

There was a tree, but not any kind of tree, in the middle of the hallway. Sticking out of the wall. Like, seriously.

"What." I said simply, eyes' going this way and that due to an inability to comprehend what the hell was happening.

I walked up to the tree, and petted it to see if it was real.

It meowed.

"WHAT!" I shouted, my voice pulling a Brutus and making my voice go a few shades closer to the feminine kind.

I ran, screaming for my life away from the Catree as I had dubbed it, and into the nearest room. Which, due to something akin to plot convenience, (**An: *Cough.* What?**) happened to be the Study, despite it being close to the other side of the house.

What.

Why was I what-ing? Simple. Hiding behind overturned furniture a crude fortress of books was Tykki, wearing a tin foil Top Hat.

What, I reiterate.

I strut over to Tykki and climbed over the poorly made barricade, and his head turned faster than a man hearing Crispin Freeman's voice. (Geddit) With fear evident in his voice, he asked "are you real?"

I stood; shocked. "What? Of course I'm real you dobe! I'm not a Kage No Bunshin as far as I know. Speaking of knowledge, any clue as to why the hell one; the Millennium Earl was _naked _in my bed, and two I touched a tree and it _meowed _at me?"

Tykki, still squatting and moving back and forth like a scared child, stared agape at me. "It's Christmas. Someone's killed it."

_**OTHER PLACE**_

"Achoo!" Sneezed Kanda.

"Yuu-" Cue glare. "-alright, Yuu?" Asked Lavi.

_**PLACE OF OTHER**_

I stared at Tykki as if I had forgotten how to blink. "Riiiiiiiight. And let me guess, Santa Claus has caught the clap from his Elves, too? Oooooh, and has the Easter Bunny gotten over his chronic diarrhoea resulting in eggs everywhere?"

Now it was Tykki's turn to stare. "Are you an idiot? I'm talking seriously here. _Someone _has killed Christmas. And now, whoever is supposed to be in charge of Christmas is angry at us. We have to revive Christmas or el-"

What stopped Tykki came in the form of something evil. Something grotesque. Something, _monstrous._

The Millennium Earl covered in Oil. Very, _very _slippery Oil. "Gooooooood morning boys~~." He said seductively, shaking his hips.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" I and Tykki screamed at the same moment. I clambered over cover screaming "DO NOT WANT!" as my mantra to motivate myself, and helped tried to help Tykki over the barricade as well.

Keyword being _tried._

Before my vary eyes, a giant laser was shot from the Millennium Earls' eyes, and turned Tykki into pot. Not a pot, _the _pot. Mexican lung confetti, nature's pick-me-up, the pipe, funny smoke, happy happy make-a make-a you gas or dah green leaf. I made half of those up but still, you probably get the point.

Seriously, he got turned into cannabis.

"WHAT?!" I shouted, before putting the weed in my pocket and running outside screaming "IMPOSSIBRU!" repeatedly.

For reasons that were plot I managed to somehow evade the Millennium Earl in his Oiled up naked form and continued running to anywhere other than where I was.

Which equated to ending up in the Library, and in it was a sight for eyes that did not want anything else to be incredibly weird. But got it anyway.

In it, was…

Santa.

Yes. Santa. I was as shocked as you are.

"WHAAAAAAAAAT?!" I shouted; eyes' twitching so horribly that I felt like my head was going to implode.

Santa quickly took note of me and hopped on over towards me. Yes, _hopped. _He was missing one of his legs. Why, I didn't know, and at that point in time had no desire to know.

"Santa….? But you're, and the tree, and Tykki, and me, and, and, and and andandandandandandandannd WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAT?!" My mind overloaded, and I went to the floor shouting "DOES NOT COMPUTE!" over and over again.

A dozen 'DOES NOT COMPUTE's later; I stood up as if nothing happened.

"You okay now, Boy?" Santa Claus said.

"I'm as fine as anyone that had A: woken up next to a naked Millennium Earl, B: saw someone else get turned into pot, and C: just met Santa Claus." I replied.

Santa nodded. "That's good. Because I need you if we're going to revive Christmas."

Cue 'wut' expression. "Me? Why me?"

Santa shrugged. "I dunno. A Lepredragon told me that the only way to save Christmas on the way over Ireland was to find a kid with Black Hair, and since you're the only kid with Black Hair I could find it must be you. You're the Chosen One, Adam!"

Cue second 'wut' expression, only 1000% more questioning. "So I'm Neo….? And what's a Lepredragon?"

"Basically. It's a dragon that drinks scotch." Santa answered.

Eyebrow twitching, ho! "Why do we need to revive Christmas in the first place?"

"Some girl killed it." Santa said nonchalantly.

Perplexed expression; I had one. "Who?"

"Some shemale Samurai."

Cue my jaw hitting the floor.

"_Kanda _killed Christmas?" Then I struck a thinking pose. "Okay, that is arguably one of the less out of character things that has happened toda-" Wait. Something about what I said bitch slapped me like I was overdue a payment. I said 'out of character'….oh my god, I was catching this craziness! Or _the_ craziness, whatever!

"Santa, we have to hurry! I'm catching the stupidity that's going around!" I said.

But the Jolly old man didn't respond.

"Santa?" I said unsurely, testing the waters. No reaction. "Santa…?" This time, I touched his shoulder, and whatever spell he was under snapped in two like a keyboard over UberHaxorNova's knee.

His response to being shaken was just like this situation. Entirely retarded. He, and I am not f*cking with you, gazed at me for a full three seconds, and then fell over on the floor. And then started barking. And after that, he started sniffing the floor, and followed a trail out the door and into the hallway.

I heard a cat's screams resonate through the house, and a dog's barking following close behind.

"Santa!" I shouted; never thinking about why I all of a sudden had a massive attachment to the man and merely chasing the sounds of dog barking.

I ran, and came across what I never wanted to see.

SANTA AND THE MILLENNIUM EARL WERE IN THE HALLWAY, DOIN' IT, AND THE CATREE WAS WATCHING!

I promptly turned around, and just walked away calmly as what sounded like either two dolphins scrubbing each other with soap or a walrus molesting a child.

And almost on cue, as if things couldn't get any stranger, a _f*cking _Viking jumped out from around a corner, and shouted "I AM THE KING OF SWEDEN! YOU SHALL BOW BEFORE ME! VIKING POWER!" as he attempted to kill me with the axe he wielded.

Thankfully, a Celtic warrior _also _jumped around from the corner, and the two admitted their feelings of love for each and started repeating the actions of the two other….I would say love birds but I'm pretty sure birds aren't rapists.

Anyway, past the very violent love making going on behind me, I walked back towards the room I met Santa in, sat in the sleigh that had _somehow _appeared in the room, curled up into the fettle position, and started crying.

"WHAT? WHAT? WHAAAAAAT? WHY LOGIC, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE ON M-" And of course me being the idiot that I was didn't realise that no matter what mind set, a certain person never shies away from a person grieving.

Cue a person being behind me.

"You're beautiful I'll call you Adeena." The Millennium Earl said.

"WHY GOD WHY?!" I shouted to the place where the heavens lay and a certain bearded man must have been laughing his ass off. (**AN: I don't have a beard…**)

The ensuing chase led me around the room in circles, until somehow I landed on the sleigh, and accidently pulled the thing out of park, and into drive. "SINCE WHEN DO SLEIGHS EVEN HAVE SITCKS?!" I called out to no one in particular.

The sleigh cleaved a bloody swathe through the Noah Mansion as it went through room after room like a Bowling Ball through tissue paper. "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!" I shouted, as the sleigh ripped through a room where at least a dozen Elves were having a party.

The DJ was sent flying through a window, and the music as such abruptly stopped. A particularly stupid looking Elf (Wearing shades and apparently cosplaying as Chuck Norris from Walker Texas Ranger) sauntered –yes, sauntered –up to me.

"The fuck you think you doin' homie? You be all up in my grill, brah. And I don't like it when stupid L platers be all up in my grill." He said, in possibly the most racist African American stereotype one could imagine.

I punted the racist, whilst telling him that he was as I labelled him, into next century. Seriously, the tardus came out of nowhere, was there for as long as it took for the Elf to break through the outside casing and land inside, and disappeared even quicker than it came.

"WHY DOES REALITY BEING FUCKED UP HAVE TO DO WITH CHRISTMAS!?" I shouted, not understanding. I fell to my knees, ending up at eye level with the Elves, when someone else walked in front of me and kneeled down to my eye level.

Oh god, what no- my thoughts fell quickly, as did everything else on my face, as I gazed into the face of Stephen Hawking.

"WHAT!?" I said, for what felt like the thousandth time that day.

"It is alright. I am here now, Adam Phoenix Millennium." Huh, Albert Einstein WAS right, his voice does sound like Wall-E screwing the speak and spell…but why isn't he in his chair?! And why is his voice robotic without his voice synthesiser?

"Simple." Stephen Hawking said, getting me to look at him with the most FML expression I've ever mustered as I realised what must have happened. "This is my natural voice. And you've realised that I can read minds, too. That is convenient."

I stood up, causing Hawking to mimic me, and said back "no."

Stephen Hawking replied with both a quizzical expression and words. "No what?"

"No whatever the f*ck you're going to! No, no, no, no no no no NO! I'm already the f*cking equivalent of Neo, and I refuse to accept whatever kind of mantle of responsibility you're going to bestow upon me. I refuse. Your argument is invalid. INVALID I TELL YOU! INVALID!" I explained, shaking my hands in fury.

Stephen placed his hand reassuringly on my shoulder, and said "I am not going to tell you those things. Instead, I am going to ask you a question. Do you think this is all not real? That all of this is an illusion?"

I glared at the Elves playing beer pong and beating up the one Jewish Elf, and responded "yes."

"Then you have been sorely misled. This is reality. It's just a little messed up is all." Stephen replied, not missing a beat.

"You don't say…" I said absent-mindedly.

"And to restore reality, you have to revive Christmas. It's that simple."

"This is all so stupid. And the answer to fix it is stupid. Why? Just, _why_? Why did Kanda kill Christmas; how could he have killed it anyway, and why to a thousand other things." I gazed forlornly out the window.

"Just….why?" I said, dramatically. Oh my god, kill me. I just had a dramatic moment.

"You must repair the tree. No one else can."

"What tree?"

"The Spirit of Christmas…tree. It is Christmas itself."

"So it's a bunch of rich kids bitching to their parents to get them Xbox's?"

"Pffft, this is the 19th century, kids aren't like that yet. It's a tree. And in order to repair a tree, you need….?" He gestured for me to respond.

"Someone capable of repairing wood?" I offered; and Stephen nodded happily.

"And do you know anyone capable of repairing wood, a carpenter...?" Again, he gestured at me to reply.

"Jesus?" I answered jokingly.

"Exactly. Therefore-"

"WHAT?!"

"-you-"

"WHAT?!"

"-must-"

"SINCE WHEN WAS THIS MONTY PYTHON?!"

"-find-"

"WHAT?!"

"-Jesus, and get him to repair the tree. Simple, ain't it?" Stephen finished.

I deadpanned, and lunged for the bastard, hoping to strangle some sense of normalcy into all of this.

And I landed right in the middle of….snow. The f*ck? Snow? Why is there snow in the Noah Mansion…

I stole a glance at my surroundings, and found myself just outside of a cave.

In the middle of nowhere.

In the middle of a forest.

In the middle of nowhere.

"WHAT?!" You can probably guess who said that.

Deciding I had nothing to lose (Besides my Jingle Bells, which weren't in any danger from freezing off but I'd rather not chance it) I entered the cave, and was met with a beautiful clearing.

Also in the clearing were one familiar face, and one unfamiliar face. Both wearing Exorcist uniforms. They looked like they were talking, given the way their mouths were opening and closing repeatedly.

_The pirate looking one is Bookman Junior._

Ba-Baron?! Oh thank Christ, who we have to find by the way, I didn't know where you were! You were so silent and everything that I assumed you must have left or something!

_What are you talking about? I did not speak because I felt no need._

Ba….Baron? Is that really you?

_Yes, is it I, Baron, your friend. Your comrade. Why is that so hard to believe?_

You're acting serious, and normal, and serious, and did I mention normal?

_Yes. You did._

Okay, give me the real Baron or GTFO.

_I AM the real Baron._

Apologising to Darth Vader for stealing a line of his, I shouted "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" and fell to my knees, fists shaking at the sky.

But then I stood up, shrugged, and suppressed the urge to start making movie quotes for no good reason.

Oh Scooby snacks Baron, I'm losing my sanity! Well, what remains of it after speaking to you!

_Why do you aim your words at me if you're intending to be offensive?_

OH GOD, THE LOGIC, IT BURNS!

The shouting gripped the attention of the two I mentioned earlier, and they walked towards me as I tried to inspect the tree.

No sooner had I got within stones throwing distance did the tree use the shouts from Skyrim to throw me back a few yards. I was caught by a pirate; or what looked like it. "Yeah, you don't want to do that. Yuu-" said person glared at the pirate, "-already tried getting close, Yuu-" again, glare, "don't want to get close. Do Yuu-" forward slash glare "-understand? Yuu-" Yuu know, this is starting to get old already, "-seem to have taken quite the blow there." And just for the hell of it, the pirate added "Yuu" to the end of his sentence.

I stared up into the boy's face, noticing the heat radiating off of him, the gentleness of his hands, the attractive way he spoke and breathed, the way his eye scanned over my body….

_I believe the old, mentally handicapped me would have said 'I've seen enough Hentai to know where this is going…'_

And that hit me like something jumped up and bit me.

I moved upwards so fast I hit Bookman Junior in the forehead, my position causing him to backflip out of the cave, and I turned immediately towards the tree. It was intact.

"Wait a minute…." Kanda was glaring at me just as much as he was searching for answers from me; more than likely about who I was and what I was doing there.

The tree….it was intact…

THE TREE WAS INTACT! STEPHENIRE POTTER YOU MOTEHRF*CKER!

"WHY THE HELL DID HE SEND ME TO FIND JESUS IF HE SENT ME BACK IN TIME, AND HOW DO I KNOW I WAS SENT BACK IN TIME? WHATEVER! STEPHEN HAWKINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!" I called out.

Kanda, who at this point had abandoned his glare and wore a mask of open confusion, asked me "what the hell is wrong with you?"

I shot him a face full of so much aggression and open hostility that he had actually physically fell over. "I WOKE UP TODAY NEXT TO A LUBED UP, _NAKED _MILLENNIUM EARL, TOUCHED A TREE AND HEARD IT _MEOW _AT ME, SAW A FRIEND OF MINE GET TURNED INTO CANNIBIS, MET SANTA CLAUS AND WATCHED AS HE RAN OUT OF THE ROOM SNIFFING THE GROUND LIKE A DOG, SAW HIM THEN HAVE MAD PASSIONATE SEX WITH THE MILLENNIUM EARL, SAME THING WITH A VIKING THAT JUMPED AROUND A CORNER AND A CELTIC THAT ENTERED THE SAME WAY, DROVE A SLEIGH THROUGH SEVERAL WALLS, MET A RACIST STEROETYPE OF AN ELF, OF WHO I MET AT AN ELF PARTY, MET STEPHEN HAWKING, WHO HAD SOMEHOW MAGICALLY OVERCOME HIS PARAPLEGIC NATURE AND TOLD ME TO GET JESUS TO REPAIR THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS TREE AS SINCE IT WAS BROKEN AND IT WAS THE REASON WHY ALL OF THIS WAS HAPPENING! SO ASK ME ONE MORE TIME WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME AND I'LL F*CKING RIP OUT YOUR F*CKING SPINE AND USE IT TO F*CKING PLAY JUMP ROPE WHILST I'M EATING A DELICIOUS KANDA-SALAD! OR I'LL SHOVE YOUR F*CKING QUESTION UP YOUR F*CKING ASSHOLE SO FAR THAT YOU'LL BE EATING THE ALPHABET FROM A TO F*CK YOURSELF FOR BREAKFAST, LUNCH, AND DINNER! WHATEVER IS LEAST COMFORTABLE FOR YUU!" I vented, panting by the end of my offloading of aggression.

After a few steady breaths, (and looking at Kanda's stunned mullet like reaction) I managed to collect myself, and sat down gazing at the ceiling. I closed my eyes and felt my anger just, ebb away. It was peaceful in this cavern, place, thingy. So nice, so tranqu-

Then I heard a sound I _really _wished was also make-believe.

"I recognise you. Your Adam Millennium, the turncoat-" were I not at the receiving end of a sword I would have mentioned just how right I was to assume that the Black Order probably wanted my head, basically I would say 'told ya so, bitch', "- all Exorcists were told to look for in their travels. I'm supposed to bring you back alive, so make any sudden moves, talk, see, smell, or even _breath _without my go ahead and I'll gut you like a fish. Got it?"

Without even opening my eyes I pushed the sword away and said "put that thing away before you hurt yourself. You and I both know you aren't used to handling large sharp objects. Your mother is though; just ask her about last night."

The sword, given the way the air sounded as though it itself was cut, was moved back to where it was. "Shut up, get up, and start walking."

I opened my eyes to look at Kanda, and watched. Just, watched. What was I watching? One would assume Kanda as that was who I said was the subject of my actions; but words can be interpreted wrongly as much as gestures can. And whilst my gesture might indicate that I was looking at Kanda, in truth my gaze was on the object behind him, to my POV at least. In reality, it was above him, and with ever widening eyes I stared as the object fell from the ceiling, closer and closer to Kanda.

And landed on him.

However, what was weirder than someone landing on Kanda was _who _landed on Kanda, and what he was wearing.

Or lack thereof for that matter.

The 'lubed' up, naked Millennium Earl sat atop Kanda, pinning him to the floor. "Hey boys~~~~."

I realised a good two seconds before I cast a flame falcon punch at the Millennium Earl that he was covered in Oil. Therefore extremely flammable. The REAL question is whether I gave a shit or not.

I think not.

The immolated molester (Ooooh Alliteration, SUCK THAT ENGLISH TEACHERS EVERYWHERE!) flew backwards, in a way that was not unlike him being on a wire in a Hollywood movie, and indented a rock wall a severe distance away from me and Kanda.

Watching with a 'what' expression dominating my face, I took note of the numbers coming off of the Millennium Earl; all orange in colour, and completely ignored it for sanity's sake.

Staring at the tree, I stood up, all silent minus the crackling of the fires turning the Millennium Earl into a nice Fat Guy Medium Rare (Strangely, that sounds delicious – _Adam_) set of Ribs and the crunching of snow, and simply didn't move.

I was waiting. Stephen Hawking be _damned_; I was going to revive Christmas so that I could simply put all this weird as hell shit behind me. I wanted nothing more than to just clock in, and clock out (Whilst cleaning Stephen's clock as well if possible). To do so, I needed to revive the Spirit of Christmas tree. Which was still alive. Okay, maybe _prevent _it from needing to be saved?

Wait, just realised something, if this is the past, then how the hell did the Millennium Earl follow me into it?

Wait, just realised something, he's both charred and more than likely dead meat (Which wouldn't be that bad when further cooked in an open fire actually), so why the hell am I caring?

Kanda grumbled out words that I despite hearing I will not quote them, and got to his feet easily enough with Mugen as a cane.

"What the hell was that?" Kanda asked, roughly.

"The man that just fell on you? That was the Millennium Earl, of who was _naked, _and covered in Oil, very, _very _slippery looking Oil might I add. The key word is was. Currently, he's a very delicious looking piece of meat. A piece of _dead _meat, by the way. I personally prefer Medium Rare, but I think Well Done will suffice." I replied.

"If he's dead, then who the hell is behind you?" Kanda said.

I would have said 'what' yet again had I not felt a gag on my mouth. Instead, what came out was "MMPH!"

The assailant was restricting my airways, for lack of a better descriptor, and I was feeling the effects. I struggled in his grip, but his hand on my mouth and nose prevented me from breathing whatsoever.

You've probably heard the whole 'I tried and tried but I failed and passed out' BS that pretty much anyone else in this kind of situation says, and then they go on about being scared when they wake up in a situation that they can't comprehend and blah blah blah.

Needless to say, I'm not most people.

The strangler was hit by the kind of force one finds when truck hits a brick wall by a recently conjured falcon punch, and was tossed into the air like a rag doll with the resulting Millennium Barrage upper kick, I guess you could say, and following the initial attack, as part of the combo, he reconnected violently to the Earth via flame sledgehammer expending its force on his chest.

Did I just go Naruto on the Millennium Earl's fat ass?

Not at all, if what I found out after the clouds dissipated was true.

I went Naruto on _Kanda's _ass, if the dark blue hair and Exorcist outfit was anything to go by.

"What." You get three guesses as to who said that.

"…THE F*CK MOTHERING VAMPIRE? HOW DID- WHEN DID- GAH! THE F*CK! WHAT, THE F*CK!" Also three guesses as to who said that.

I stole a glance behind me and saw that Kanda was still there, kneeling and staring in awe, but there was additionally the Kanda that just assaulted me in front.

Effectively, there were _two _Kanda's now.

Upon gazing at the original Kanda behind me, I noticed a _very _familiar look in his eyes. The same look Santa Claus had before he took to being a dog.

"Oh no…" I said, before Kanda stood up like a man possessed.

Kanda walked towards the crater, calmly, and kneeled before the second Kanda.

If you've ever read a fanfic including the most Lemon-esq lemon, then you understand just what happened next.

Still don't get what I mean? I'll describe the sounds for you.

_Smush. "Mmmm, you taste good." Smush more so. Snap. Snap. Snap. (The sound of buttons being undone.) Smush to the max. Ziiiiiiiip. Slurp. Slurp. Slurp. "Oh yeah, just like that, oh yeah…"_

"I feel dirty…" I mumbled to myself.

Funnily enough, even if the story was told from a narrator perspective, that same sentence would appear.

Is there anyone that isn't going to screw? I thought. I gulped. I was dangerously close to kissing Lavi already. I mustn't have much time left before the stupidity catches me too. But what am I supposed to do, anyway? Kanda was the one who killed Christmas, and he's too busy screwing his clones' brains out to do it again, since this is the past. What the hell am I here for…

"No reason. I just like messing with you." No, that voice, it can't be…

I turned around and saw an African-American man most definitely over fifty years old with his greying hair and lines on his face, and couldn't stop the full bodied twitch.

"You know, if I had a penny for every time I saw someone look at me with that kind of face, I'd be even richer than I already am." Said…

…Morgan Freeman.

"You know, if I had a dollar for every time I expected you to come along, I'd still have enough to pay for your mothers' services." I retorted, eye twitching.

Morgan Freeman chuckled. "Now now~~, no need to be so harsh about this. I was merely doing all this to observe your reactions."

"Why?" I asked simply.

"Why do you think? Ruling over the realm of mortal men gets boring rather easily. That and I love f*cking with people. It's fun." He said honestly.

"Agreed, but what the hell? You twisted reality just to mess with me?"

"Yes." He replied without even hesitating, sounding as confident as stone is rocky.

"At least you're honest." I retaliated with eyes ever twitching.

He smiled. "Quite. Now, I've had my fill, I think it's about time I reverse all this." He raised his hand; presumably to do as he said, when I asked him not to. Yet.

"Oh? Why is that? Do you like how the world is currently?" He asked.

"F*ck no. I've merely got an idea." I said.

"That being?"

"Can I wish for something since its Christmas?" I asked.

He was about to respond, but then caught himself. His face contorted in thought in many almost humorous ways prior to replying "yes. Since its Christmas. What do you want?"

Now it was my turn to humorously change my face in deep thought. I thought long, hard, and that was almost what she said before coming up with what I wanted.

"Can you narrate my life? For a week?" I asked.

He looked nearly taken aback, but upon hearing him grumble "why do they always wish for that….what can't they wish for some kind of big ol' lesbian orgy or something….at least it'd be original…" (**AN: Funny that you mention that…**)

He smiled. "Very well.

Adam Phoenix Millennium, Exorcist, Thief, Human, monster, your wish has been granted."

_**POOF! (Yes, POOF! Problem with mah Girly magic sounds?)**_

Comfort. That was what I feeling. Comfort. Not the kind you get from a hug but the kind you get from being in a bed. Which I was. I shot forward, ran my eyes over the room, and then sighed.

"Ugh. Weird as hell dream…" I mumbled.

_**Adam awoke in his bed, comfortable, but then shot up like a bat out of Hell and mumbled to himself after scanning the room.**_

"The Hell…?" My face fell within milliseconds. "Oh god. That actually happened. Morgan Freeman is narrating my life! This, is, AWESOME~~!"

_**Well pardon my French but nooooooo shit. Adam further spoke to himself, making one question his sanity, and came to a realisation of great truth. An epiphany, that was pretty darn obvious.**_

I snuggled back under the covers, trying to enjoy the last bit of time I could sleep in before I had to get up and 'mingle' with the rest of the family. "I guess miracles really do happen…" I said as darkness ensnared my sight.

_**The End. Of this part anyway. To truly say 'the end' would mean, well, just what it says, the end. And this isn't 'the end'. Not by a longshot. The cHRISTMAS sPECIAL is soon to be ended but the rest of this. This, universe of stupidity and twisting plot?**_

_**Son, this ain't even the true **_**beginning **_**of it.**_

_**And so, I end my narration of Adam's life. For now. Whence he wakes, I will speak again.**_

_**Goodbye my subjects and I hope to see you soon.**_

_**Morgan Freeman, out.**_

* * *

**AN: Why I thank you all for reading this story, and I want to apologise on behalf of the Author of this story, FollieOfMadness.**

**Why am I, Morgan Freeman, here instead of him?**

**Well, you must ask yourself this:**

**After writing a chapter that most consider suicide after reading, what do you thinks happens to the man that wrote it?**

**Again, apologies to everyone that read that rubbish Follie called an ending, and I hope to see you soon with another chapter.**

**This is Morgan Freeman, your God, saying goodbye.**

**Goodbye.**


	35. cHRISTMAS sPECIAL! Part 2

**D. gRAY-METH: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

* * *

_cHRISTMAS sPECIAL (Part 2 fifths of a quarter)_

* * *

**AN: Welcome Ladies and gents to Part 2 of the cHRISTMAS sPECIAL! How many parts are there? I don't know! I'm still working that part out. (Geddit)**

***Ahem***

**Want to thank y'all for readin' and reviewin'. Vote on my Poll, please.**

**Now, LET'S ROCK THIS JOINT!**

* * *

_**OUTSIDE THE ENTRANCE TO THE SPIRIT IF CHRISTMAS (…) TREE, AROUND THE SAME TIME AS ADAM WISHED UPON A MORGAN FREEMAN**_

Running, running was what a woman had done. The unconscious Lavi was her destination. Upon reaching him, she had fallen to her knees and grasped him, attempting to wake him via shaking.

Her attempts succeeded, and Lavi stirred mere seconds before waking up in her arms. "Uh…hi?" He said, hesitantly. "Why am I outside?"

"I…I don't know." She admitted. "I was taking a walk and I saw you collapsed out here... Do you remember what you were doing before you passed out?"

"I was with Yuu." He admitted, and like a light was turned on his eye flashed. "Yuu!" He practically clambered over himself to get out of her grasp, and back into the cavern.

The woman called out "why do you keep screaming Yuu?" but due to the frenzied protective state of the Exorcist, he lacked both the means and the aptitude to hear her. She pursued the young Bookman.

Almost as if there was a pressure plate, the moment Lavi stepped inside the space containing the Spirit of Christmas (…) tree, a light came in force and blinded Bookman Jr. When it calmed down, he saw Kanda lying on the ground, on his stomach, shirtless. (The pants have zippers in case you were wondering)

The female almost mimicked Lavi's actions through seeing the light, with the side effect of temporary blindness, and perusal of target.

Afore mentioned female, upon seeing Lavi next to Kanda, said "hey~ what is it?"

"He's Yuu Kanda. He's an Exorcist, just like me." He flipped Yuu over, and checked him for life signs. Sure enough, he was breathing, albeit he looked like he just got through the roughest _ass_ beating (Geddit) of his life. Lavi let out a sigh of relief. "He's alive. That's a relief." He stood up, and walked towards the unnamed woman. "My names Lavi, by the way. We never really got a chance to be acquainted." He extended a hand. "What's yours?"

She, calmly, smiled and took his hand. "My name's Areana. It's nice to meet you Lavi. Don't you think we should get your friend to a hospital?"

"Eh, him?" Lavi said, gesturing to Kanda. "There's no need. He heals quickly. It's 'how his body works'. But thanks for the concern, Areana." Lavi smiled at her, warmth there and very much so. He sat on the snow, next to Kanda.

Lavi patted the snow next to him. "You can sit if you want. I'm not stopping you."

She nodded then moved over to Lavi, sat down and smiled. Upon sitting, she said "you know... you never told me what you were doing out here...and I'm hoping something happened that made you go shirtless instead of you deciding to walk around in the snow like that..."

"Eh?" Lavi stared at his chest, and with open confusion touched it to make sure his clothes hadn't simply turned invisible. "I don't even know when I lost my shirt...and why I'm not feeling the cold...and as for Kanda, I'm not sure...last thing I remember I was looking into the face of a fugitive, Adam Phoenix Millennium, and then I was hit with something. That's it. Until I met you, Areana, that is. As for why, we're searching for something called Innocence, and I suspect it's in that tree over there," he obviously gestured to the Spirit of Christmas (…) tree, "although I'm not sure how to get to it alone. The only way I know of getting to it would require Kanda's help. So, I'm waiting for him to wake up."

His face went from Areana's direction to Kanda's, and stayed silent.

"Mind if I help? I mean how hard could it be?" Areana asked. She got to her feet, and walked without a care in the world en route for the tree. Lavi was meaning to warn her, but Areana unsheathing a dagger from inside her jacket and effortlessly cutting the red waves in two took the words out of his throat, beat them till death, pissed on their graves, and then placed salt upon the earth to ensure the impossibility of plant growth. "See? Not that hard~."

Lavi, slackjawed, said "you beat that so easily when we, well, Yuu was treated like a plaything by it...you really are something, Areana." Lavi placed a hand on his Innocence, suspicious of her. "Makes me wonder...are you something, other than human?" He mumbles to himself at such a low amount of decibels that only a Noah would hear it.

Areana's head tilted, gazed upon Lavi with eyes complete with true curiosity and said "what do you mean? The only living things in this world would be humans, animals, and plants. I'm pretty sure I'm neither animal nor plant so I have to be human. Maybe my dagger's just special?"

Lavi's eye narrowed and he tightened his grip on his Innocence whilst slowly drawing it. "Does it give you superhuman hearing as well?"

She ponders the question for but a moment. "I don't think so…it's just a normal dagger..." Her gaze drifted over his hand holding his Innocence. "What are you gonna do with that hammer?"

"Depends. What are you going to do with that Dagger?" He replied.

Areana sheathed the Dagger and put her hands up in defence. "I only use it as a self-defence. I prefer not to harm anyone with it."

Lavi displaced his hand, but not his guard. "How did you hear me whisper from all the way over there? And don't tell me that the Dagger's special; you said yourself that it's an ordinary piece of steel."

"I've always had good hearing. You asked if the dagger gave me better hearing and I said it didn't. You never asked if I had strong hearing. And I honestly have no clue about my dagger. It's just a normal dagger as far as I know." She retaliated.

Lavi took her answer and mulled over it. True, there were people with exceptional abilities that were non-Noah; his abilities as a Bookman, a non-Noah, gave him what most could consider superhuman abilities. The ability to understand and memorise multiple streams of information (Such as from telephones) and photographic memory were things that were required from him admittedly, and both were achieved through years of training.  
Still, can't rule out the possibility of her just being special, he thought. Also can't rule out the possibility of her being a Noah in disguise.  
He sighed, smiled apologetically and said "sorry 'bout that. Can't be too careful in this line of work. Could you just come back over so that we can go to the tree together this time? I'd feel better knowing it was in my hands rather than someone I just met five minutes ago, sorry."

Areana smiled and put her hands down. "I get it. A lot of people think I'm weird because I can hear people a mile away." She strode on the road to Lavi, albeit at a slow pace. "Just so you know you might want to be a few feet behind me. I prefer not to walk around with a dagger in hand so when I need it I pull it out pretty fast without thought. I'd rather not hurt you for no reason."

Lavi nodded. "Right." He stood a few feet behind Areana, just as she suggested, and waited for her to move forward.

Areana stared off her approach, moving at a walking pace. The tree was ready though, as indicated by the arguably strongest blast of its red wave yet. In a motion nearly unseeable by the human eye (Or Lavi's anyway) Areana's weapon came forth, and sliced the wave in twin halves. "You might want to get closer. I don't know if the blast will come around and hit you after it passes me." She said.

Before Areana could even finish her sentence Lavi had already nearly closed the gap. "I figured." He said. Upon reaching the Spirit of Christmas (…) tree Lavi's gaze touched every inch of the tree, top to bottom. If I were Innocence, where would I be...he thought. Well, this tree is emanating the warmth. It's like the tree itself is the Innocence. But since there isn't any Innocence on the outside of the tree...it must be on the inside! Lavi came to the conclusion of.  
"Areana, if it's not too much to ask, could you cut the tree down? I think the Innocence might be inside of the tree." He spoke.

Areana, as most people would, looked at Lavi as if she was gazing at a Madman. "You want me to attack a tree?" She thought for a moment; and no more than that did she think before she smiled and shrug. "Why not?" She became closer to the tree, and inspected it the same way a robber inspects a mark; trying to find the easiest way to take what they want. She held the blade back-handed, and moved it with gracious ease through the front of the tree and out the back. At first glance no damage was done, "there you go," Areana had remarked regardless, and Lavi was about to comment on it, but the instant prior to Lavi speaking the tree fell over and revealed the Innocence.

As improbable as it was to happen, all variables considered, the Innocence just happened to be in the very part that she left non cut. Seriously. It was like a wooden pedestal, and Lavi nearly face faulted thinking just how impossible it was for her to be so accurate. Regaining his composure though, he said "thanks Areana." He retrieved the Innocence, and put it where Exorcists always place Innocence. "I might've been able to do this without you but help is always appreciated." He smiled straight at her; a smile of the kind that never falters and one just can't help returning. "You know, the Order could use people with your kind of talents. With your Dagger and hearing, you might make a formidable ally."

"Mind if I sleep on it?" She asked. "I'd love to help but I don't want to leave my family either."

Lavi nodded. "Sure. Take all the time you need. Just saying, the Order could use someone like you." Despite Lavi's outward disposition, his hand was snaking en route for his Innocence. She hasn't once asked what the Order stands for. He thought. Maybe I could ask her about that? "Speaking of the Order." Lavi began. "You act like you know about it. How?"

"When I was younger I was at my cousin's house and she was showing me one of her 'magic tricks'. An exorcist came for her telling her she was an exorcist and they explained everything to her with me right there." She replied.

Lavi blinked. A female Exorcist...Lenalee, Tina Spark and Gwen Flail are the only female Exorcists that I know of. But those are the current ones. If she was younger, then it could have been an Exorcist who had fallen before I had joined the Black Order...it would make sense. "Ah, okay. Do you know the Exorcists name? Because chances are if she was taken by force I know who did it, and I want to apologise for him." Whilst his words weren't pointed, his eye was, and it was clearly pointing at Kanda like how a compass points to the North.

"Her name was Kylee Anderson. She wasn't there all that long. About 2 weeks later I ran into another exorcist and asked him how she was doing and he said she died on her first mission. I doubt anyone knows who she was." She said.

Lavi's face fell. "I see." So her story can't be collaborated...he thought. Very, _convenient_. "What's your cousin's name?" He asked. "I might know her."

The cousin of the girl in question, Areana, giggled. "I told you. Her name was Kylee Anderson. Unless you were there 8 years ago, I don't believe you would know her."

Lavi sweatdropped. I may not have the greatest grasp on English but I'm pretty sure that you were talking about the Exorcist that recruited your Cousin...he thought. Or maybe all that time in the library with the old Panda is rotting my brain...

"Oh, right. My mistake." He said sheepishly. "Yeah, I don't know her. I only joined the Order two years ago now." Wonder if there's record of her being there...what am I thinking? Her story makes sense, she hasn't tried to kill me and or destroy the Innocence, and she has been nice to me the whole time. There's no way she could be a Noah, no matter how suspicious she seems to me. He concluded. A thought crossed his mind. "Hey, Areana?"

"It's okay. Now that I think about it what I meant to say may not have come out correctly." A lightning bolt of realisation struck her mind. "Oh yeah. What did you want to ask me?"

"If it's too personal you don't have to answer but, where did you get that Dagger?" He asked. I know only of a few Magical Daggers, although all of them are myth...he thought. But then again, the Bookmen are supposedly as well.

"A few years after Kylee passed a strange man came through my village. I was coming home with my mom from the store and he was standing in front of our house and staring at it. My mom asked him who he was and he never said anything. He just stared at me. He walked up to me and knelt down and handed me something that was wrapped up. He only said one thing. 'Don't open that unless there's trouble.' Then he left and we never saw him again. A few weeks later someone tried to rob my family and I unwrapped what he gave me and it was the dagger. I honestly don't know where he got it." She explained.

Even more suspicious...he thought. But then again, stranger things have happened. After all, it's my job to record secret history.  
"Really?" He asked. "Sounds bizarre. But then again, if being involved in a secret war where it's my job to destroy Akuma and save people isn't crazy in of itself, then I don't know what is." He confessed.

"Yeah. Your job does sound kinda crazy. Since we're talking about crazy, what did you mean by your friend heals quickly?" She inquired.

"Well, he heals fast. Cuts, bruises, wounds, broken bones, they all heal pretty quickly for him." Lavi said sheepishly back. "Never would tell me why though." He admitted. He stood up with a sigh. "I guess I'll just leave you to your decision, then. I've kind of gotta take the Innocence back to Headquarters though, so I'll be back. The return trip back here'll take a day, so you can think it over whilst I'm coming back." He said as moved over to Kanda's form. "Later, Areana!" Lavi said roughly as he picked up Yuu as if he had a limp, and proceeded to carry him out of the cavern. "Whoa...Yuu weigh's a ton..." Lavi mumbled. "And think carefully! As much as the Black Order could use you, you shouldn't be careless about what you do with your life!" They were the last words Areana heard before he left the cavern.

Whispering, she said to herself "what did he mean by that? Whatever."

Areana trotted back to whence she came through the cave, past the entrance and into the woods outside, catching a fleet glimpse of Lavi still dragging/carrying 'Yuu', as Lavi called him.

Areana was striding en route for a hotel in which she was lodged. Words came from her lips in ones and twos, speaking "hm, I wonder what Rhode will think of me joining the Black Order. Or even Millennie. They'd probably disapprove of it but, it might be fun. Being a double agent..." Areana's skin became darker and darker; ash grey was its new colour. "For the Clan of Noah..." Stigmata; 7 and black, lined her forehead. "Might be fun~~."

The now Noah Areana strode through the forest, and seemingly disappeared into the tangle of trees and bushes.

* * *

_**MODERN DAY BLACK ORDER, 2017, NORTH AMERICAN BRANCH**_

* * *

_Edward D. Leverrier stood behind everything-proof (Designed to counter act even the Everything Note) glass next to his superior, Niccolo Sentinel, watching the room before him with eyes akin to a the-last-name-of-his-superior. The room was that of a near exact replica of the previous Second Exorcist project's revival room, in which all Second Exorcists 'slept' prior to awakening for the second times in their brain's life._

"_Think it'll work?" Asked Niccolo, of who's practically diabolical orange eyes' mimicked down to the last detail Edward's own._

"_I hope so. Step one, create unstoppable monstrosity to have an excuse to proceed to step two, restart second Exorcist project to fix step one, among other things. Steps three through five are secure, though. Albeit, five will only work if this works." With that, his sight fell upon the closest incubator of a Second Exorcist._

_Niccolo nodded, and followed his gaze. "Is it just me Eddie, or are you beginning to worry about him?" Said her was gestured to with a flick of Niccolo's head._

"_Worry?" He scoffed. "I have never heard such a ridiculous question in my life. Of course I am worried! He is the current accommodator of Mugen! He has the strongest potential out of every Exorcist in the entire project! He could be the linchpin to our plans."_

"_Because it takes a man to slay a monster. Or, in this case, a _wo_man." Remarked Niccolo. Edward was this close to quirking an eyebrow when he heard a noise coming from the incubator._

Splash!

_Edward and his superior's head swivelled on pure instinct, reacting to what all sensed immediately was a threat._

_Just goes to show, Edward thought, he is dangerous no matter what body he resides within._

_A hand reached up out of the incubator, and gripped the side. Attached to that hand, was an arm, and to that arm, a body, and so on and so forth until she was entirely out of the incubator._

_Yes, she. The person coming out of the incubator, and apparently starting off a chain reaction given the mass of flesh pulling themselves out of the other incubators, was a woman. Breasts and everything._

_She looks like she's ten though, so don't get any ideas._

_I mean you Baron._

_Why is it that every time there are Children around you immediately assume that I have the intention of harming them?_

_Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, shame on you. Molest me once, and I f*cking shiv you._

_Who said that I would?_

_Who said that you were ever real in the first place?_

_Who said wait what?_

_I mean it. Where you ever real in the first place?_

…_.Brb, aneurysm from sheer stupidity incoming._

_Wow, I didn't realise you were that stupid Baron._

_AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_

_Get, get! I'm on the story telling couch now! *Throws screaming Baron off of storytelling couch and locks him in closet.*_

_Anyway, Baron the Bacon-eater out of the way, Niccolo and Edward gazed at each other with the undisputed intent of smirking albeit holding themselves back due to the witnesses, both realising the other was thinking the same thing._

_Step two was underway, and upon its completion, step three will follow suite._

* * *

**(SORT OF) ~OMAKE~ (THINGY)**

* * *

_*Knock knock* Hey, can someone get me out of this closet? I'm a slight trapaphob. Hello? Hello? I know you're out there Adam. Help?_

What's the password?

…_Does whatever a Baron can?_

That was last week's password. You have to attend the meeting going on currently to get the new one.

…_HOW CAN I ATTEND IT WHEN I CAN'T LEAVE THIS CLOSET!?_

I don't know, why don't you ask your Brute buddies what the password is? Oh yeah, and before I forget, I locked the mental images of Lenalee I had when I first saw her in that closet as well, so now you have something to entertain yourself at least.

_The hell you talkin' bout fo- OH GOD, MY EYES! MY EYES!_

Later Baron.

_MY EYES, OH GOD MY EYES!_

Have a happy new year!

_MY EYES! MY EYES, YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH! MY EYES!_

Oh yeah, and I'm keeping you in there until New Year as well.

_WHAT? MY EYES!_

If you want food, you just have to open the door and grab some from the Kitchen, alright?

_BUT I CAN'T! MY EYES!_

For water, same place. Oh, and I forgot to turn the Air conditioner on as well, so it's pretty hot in the place. Be a sport and turn on the Air Con will you?

_SAME RETORT AS LAST TIME! MY EYES!_

And just in case you decide that you want to stay in there for the rest of your life, I've been kind enough to lock you in and throw away the Key. By now, it's probably half way to my mental image of Mexico.

___THIS DEAL IS GETTING WORSE ALL THE TIME_! MY EYES!

Unless you want to wear clown shoes, ride a unicycle and be called Mary, then shut up. Oh yeah, and last thing; Morgan Freeman is narrating my life for a week, but I asked him if he could keep you company in there and he said he doesn't mind.

_BUT I'M AFRAID OF MORGAN FREEMAN! I HAVE A DEEP SEATED CHILDHOOD PHOBIA OF HIM! MY EYES!_

Pffft, get over it Seananners.

_What's touching my le- MORGAN FREEMAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-_

**Why, hello there Baron. I can smell you.**

_-HHHHHHHHHHHHH! I HATE YOU ADAM, NOW AND FOREVER! AHHHHHHHHHH!_

**I'm creepin' around right now; you just can't see me because I called invisibility.**

Laters Morgan, Baron.

_AHHHHHHHHHHHH! DO NOT WANT! DO NOT WANT! DO NOT WANT!_

**Goodbye as well, Adam. Although I might have a measly shiv, it is quite effective when applied to the jugular.**

* * *

**(SORT OF) ~OMAKE (THINGY) END~ (SORT OF)**

* * *

**AN: You couldn't really call that an Omake so much as a torture session. Hehehe~~.**

**Remember y'all, vote on my Poll, review, fav, follow, whatever is your poison I'd appreciate it if you chose one, thanks. :)**

**'Till next time, this is your Author FollieOfMadness, and I'm out.**


	36. How I Met Your Noahther

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

* * *

_Chapter 32: How I Met Your Noahther_

* * *

**AN: Why hello there FollieOfMadness' audience. If you are wondering why I, Morgan Freeman, am still here, narrating these AN's as the kids say, it is simple.**

**Afore mentioned Author has bound me in his basement, and the only way to get food and water is to narrate these.**

***Tugs chain***

**Oh, of course, how could I forget? Follie would like me to say that he will release something...interesting on New Years eve. You will more than likely pluck out your eyes and destroy your own brain cells by reading what he will be releasing on New Years eve, trust me, I was on the verge of it.**

***Tugs chain***

**Vote on Follie's poll and review, as well. If you don't, I don't get fed. Would you kindly, for Morgan Freeman, do so please?**

* * *

_**~XXX~  
Rhode Kamelot  
~XXX~**_

"So, what's your life story you twelve year old axe-wielding murderer?" I asked.

Rhode and I were in the same room where for whatever reason we all seem to be bonding in. Seriously, the Millennium Earl sends me and whatever poor shmuck part of the Clan of Noah is scheduled to meet me next to this room, of which could not be decorated more richly.

Like, _Christ_, there's this thing called _restraint _when you get like houses like these, usually it coincides with _not _buying everything that all the poor people of the world couldn't afford in a million years.

Huh, complaining that a room looks _too _prestigious; first world problem much?

"My name is Rhode Kamelot; I am the adopted daughter of Sheryl Kamelot and Trisha Kamelot, and the 9th apostle of the Clan of Noah, the Noah of Dreams." She answered, slightest hint of boredom in her voice, which greatly became amplified before I even had the chance to respond. "Ugh. Let's do something fun! Sitting here and talking is boooooorinnnnnnng~~."

I smirked in my path to responding. "And what do twelve year old sociopaths do for fun?"

She pouted. "I'm not crazy-"

"-you have a colour TV, yeah, I know the joke." I interrupted. "Listen, Rhode, I don't want to be here, you don't want to be here, so let's just be mature about this and just leave each other in peace, alright?"

Her pout deepened. "But I'd die of boredom before I'd reach Millennie or Tykkiiiiii~~. Play with me, Adam, play with me!"

"No." Came my stern reply.

"Play with me!" By now, she was up and out of her seat with a doll in hand. (Where did she get that? And when? – _Adam_)

"No." I reiterated, calmly.

"Play with me!" The doll was inches away from my face, being moved in such a way that I half expected Rhode to start singing "I whip my Doll back and forth, I whip my Doll back and forth, I whip my Doll back and forth."

"Nope."

"Play!"

"Notta chance."

"Play!"

"I'm gonna go with a no on that one Dianna."

"_Play_!" She ordered before the doll was shoved into my face so hard that I fell backwards out of my chair.

Cue anime Chibi moment with my leg twitching as I felt the pain echoing through me.

Why was falling over so painful? It wasn't the fall that hurt me, it was the sudden-kick-in-the-nuts-I-got-from-Rhode's-knee (Thank god there wasn't an arrow in it) –that-inadvertently-did-that-does, or did since this is in past tense.

"Rhode. Off me. Now. Please." I said simply, still twitching in agony, and as ordered she got off me, rather quickly actually.

As she did though, I picked up the Doll on my face, and looked into its beady little eyes. (Why, Black Adamite, why? – _Baron_) "Rhode, you may want to consider getting a new Doll." I said, in the most spiteful voice in all of existence.

She was bordering on asking why when I tore into the piece of stuffing and cloth with the ferocity of a pissed off Black Panther, only minus the Vibranium weaved into the suit. (Geddit) Rhode watched as her possession was ripped to pieces with horror, her expression being replaced with one can only describe as a 'slow burning anger'.

"Nobody destroys my belongings." She said, coldly, and without warning a dozen candles surrounded me.

You know how this dance goes. Just use your imagination and play Benny Hill music and you'd get everything else that happens.

For inspiration, here are the sounds:

_Shnkshnkshnkshnkshnk. _"Easy, Rhode, eas-"_shnkshnkshnkshnk._

"AHHHHH!" (It was a manly scream, I can assure you) _shnkshnkshnkshnk. _"AHHHHHHH INSERT WITTY COMENT HERE AHHHHHHH!"_ shnkshnkshnkshnkshnkshnk. _"THE MATRIX GOT NOTHING ON THIS!"_ shnkshnkshnkshnkshnkshnkshnk . _"YOU SHOULD TRY 360 NO CANDLE, SEE IF THAT HELPS YOUR AIM!"_ shnkshnkshnkshnkshnkshnk. _"RUN, RUN, AS FAST YOU CAN, YOU CAN'T HIT ME, I'M THE-" _Shnkshnkshnkshnkshnk-KTCH._

"Ow…" _Thud. Clackclackclackclack- _"Wait Rhode, don't do this! I'll uh, uh, erm…"_-clackclackclackclack- _"I'll buy you a new one! With my own money! We can go shopping, and get you lots of clothes, and candy an-"_ *Whatever noise disappearing candles make*_

"_You had me at Candy."_

"_Okay, we'll go shopping then. For Candy. Can you at least help me get my leg bandaged?"_

* * *

_**A STIMPACK IN THE LEG LATER**_

* * *

"Thanks Rhode." I said as she added the last layer of bandages on my thigh's wound. Although, you _are_ the reason I'm even here in the first place…in more ways than one, actually. I thought, but did not dare speak at this proximity to her.

"You're welcome." She said, in an almost…kind manner? The f*ck woman? If you're going to try and kill me, like me, or be aggressive to me, at least sodding pick one!

Despite my internal anger, I didn't respond unkindly to Rhode. "Know the way to the nearest Candy store?"

She nodded. "By heart. Follow me~~!"

And that I did.

* * *

_**AT A PLACE WITH PEOPLE IN IT**_

* * *

Rhode wasn't kidding when she said she knew the way off by heart; the entire way she didn't once stop, nor look in any other direction besides forwards. She was a woman on a mission, only instead it's from the Millennium Earl. Well, he's also a big man.

Upon entering the store, the owner immediately had open recognition on his face, glancing at Rhode. Hm, Rhode's a frequent customer, I see. I thought. The man felt…off though. The same kind of vibe one gets from Tigers, or Piranha's, or just about any form of predator was emanating from him. Akuma? Must be high level though, he has enough control to not attack me, even though I have Innocence.

_Or Rhode could have issued a telepathic command for the Akuma to not attack you._

That too.

_Just saiyan._

The planet, my son, or me?

…_.Yes._

Friggin' smartass.

Anyway, no one else was there, which probably indicated a slow day. Or…I gazed at the piece of paper attached to the glass window. It was attached from the outside, meant for people that passed by to be able to see it given how I couldn't read it from the inside. So why didn't I see it when I came in…

A brief walk outside of the store later, in which just before leaving I said to Rhode "checking something. Back in a sec."

I didn't see if she heard me, nor did I care as I loomed over the window at the front of the store. From the inside, I KNOW I saw a piece of paper, so where is it…

I couldn't see it. And sure enough, I noticed why. The way the window seemed to have a line run through it close to the edges, along the top and bottom horizontally and along the right and left vertically.

It's a false window. It's a painting of some sort. I realised. Sure enough, further proof of it was the fact that within it there was no Rhode, just the man working there behind the counter, standing stock still.

But what could he be trying to hide? I grasped the bottom of the window painting, managing to get a firm grip on the loose part of it, and pulled. It came off easily enough, and the paper in a now readable format was visible.

It read as follows:

* * *

**~WARNING~  
To all citizens  
~THIS SHOP~  
Is owned by a  
~SEX OFFENDER~**

* * *

I stormed back in, punched the dude in the face, and ran with Rhode scooped up in my arms, majorly confused.

"Adam, why did you just do that? And put me down, I can walk." Rhode said, and I did so once we were outside the shop.

"Rhode." I pointed towards the newly revealed flyer attached to the window, stating the man's criminal history.

Her eyes, in perfect sync to reading the last two words, opened entirely, shock filling them. "Oh." She said simply.

"You can thank me for saving you from becoming his victim later. Right now, I'd prefer to go home." I said, already walking away.

"Adam~." Rhode said, creepily cheery.

I turned to look at her, preparing to run for my life for the second time today just in case. "What is it, Rhode?"

"You just called the mansion home~~." Rhode said, before latching onto me.

I stared at my hand like it had all the answers in life. "I did…? My mist-"

"Don't." She interrupted. "It shows you're finally accepting who you are. One of us. I'm so happy for you Adam~~."

Akin to a statue, I stood with Rhode hugging me from behind, musing over her words.

Yeah, that makes one of us, Rhode. I thought.

* * *

_**AT A PLACE WITH MOAR PEOPLEZ IN IT AND ALSO EARLIER**_

* * *

"_Was there a reason you called me over here Komui?" Asked Reever, as he closed the door behind himself and stood in front of afore mentioned Supervisor's desk._

_Komui adjusted his glasses to the point in where light perfectly obscured his eyes. "Section Leader Reever, what I'm about to show and or tell you is _very _important, and I wouldn't have called you done here if it wasn't anyway. If you would please follow me." He gestured to the door, and Reever did so graciously with a simple reply._

"_If you say so Supervisor Komui." _Was there even a reason to call me down to his office if he was just going to lead me elsewhere…? _Thought Reever._

_Reever was led through a series of hallways and corridors, passing by room after mind-numbingly similar room, and coming across a door Reever came to recognise as the room that none shall pass, as the rest of the science department had deemed it. This room was the same room that Komui utilised for countless experiments and creations of new items, all of which most considered to have been spawned from hell._

_If it had a face, or there was a definite place of its kind, then the room Reever was stood in front of, was it._

_Hell's Laboratory, that is._

_Komui opened the door with a key and a dozen unbolting sounds coming from the other end. _Presumably to either keep things out, or in…_thought Reever._

"_Komui, is there any particular reason why you decided to drag me down here?" Asked Reever._

_Komui was completely oblivious, or appeared to be, of Reever's presence as he methodical activated a series of machines, starting from the ones on the rightmost and ending with the leftmost._

"_Section Leader Reever, what do you think happens when light and dark are combined?" Asked a frantic Komui as he dialled in dials and levitated levers and knocked knobs._

"_I don't know….what does that have to do with anything?" Inquired the Section Leader._

"_You get this." Retorted Komui, as he hefted a chunk of…something onto the workbench in front of himself. Reever, ever the curios cat, pondered just what the f*ck it was but not in such words._

_He spoke his question, "Supervisor Komui…what _is _that?"_

"_This?" Komui's hand gestured to the object. "I don't even pretend to fathom it myself, Section Leader Reever. What this," with every uttering of this his eyes darted towards the object in question, "is _supposed_ to be however, I can tell you. This, is supposed to be a Akuma Dark Matter processor."_

_To be specific of the object's appearance:_

_There was no way in any language of defining it. You could not describe its shape any more than you could describe the shape of water. You could not describe its colour beyond that of the most devoid of void. It wasn't black, no it was to light for that. Neither was it light, though; it was far too dark for that. And yet, it wasn't grey, despite what one may think. To say it had no colour, was to mean so literally. It was a trick of neither light nor dark. It was, what it simply _was. _Nothing specific would ever apply to it. No human could define, describe, or make it. The thing was certainly of no unholy origins. The object of no description wasn't holy, either. It wasn't neutral, truly, albeit._

_The thing was a thing. An object. And no one could describe it better than that, basically._

_And Reever was mystified by it._

"_Where did you get an Akuma Dark Matter processor?" Questioned the Section Leader._

"_It was left over from Cross' old Akuma experiments." Explained Komui as he leant forward onto the workbench and covering an old blood stain whilst do so, ushering Reever over additionally._

"_What happened to it that made it like this?" Solicited Reever._

"_Adam's Innocence, that's what." Retaliated Komui._

_Reever, also being the dumbstruck dog that he was, was taken aback. "How?"_

"_It'd be easier if I showed you." Komui didn't even wait to see if Reever would prefer the verbal version (In the case of science department, 'show you' was more or less code for 'I'm going to conduct an experiment that goes against any form of human ethics for shits and giggles', therefore the verbal version no matter how less effective might have been more suitable), he already had swaggered to the chronological beginning of the machinery he activated, and Reever understanding without words the indication pursued him._

"_Okay, what are we looking at?" Catechized Reever. (__**AN: God bless the the-saur-US!**__)_

_The machine they were glazing over was a microscope, for lack of a better term. Well, a better term was probably 'a-thingy-that-functioned-like-one-but-Komui-made-five-minutes-ago-from-spare-parts-inator', but that's far beside the point._

"_If you just put your head _here_-"at saying 'here' Komui grabbed Reever's face and switched positions with the man. "I can show you how this began."_

What's even the point of going through the story of how this happened with me…? _Thought Reever. _But then again this is Supervisor Komui I'm talking, well, thinking about.

* * *

_**~XXX~  
STORY TIME, WITH KOMUI!  
~XXX~  
**__(I've seen enough Hentai to know- you know what f*ck this; MY PLANET NEEDS ME! *Touches crate that is simultaneously being shot and flies into space* - _Adam)_**  
*Insert picture of the Bunny on Komui's mug giving a thumbs up here***_

* * *

Hello, Komui here! And I'm going to tell you about how I made this here object!

Here's how the story goes:

*Cue picture of Chibi Komui on microscope.*

I was testing Adam's Innocence, when suddenly:

*Picture of the Innocence cells all culminating in one direction. (Thankfully Innocence isn't what makes you beautiful)*

The Innocence cells moved in a single direction, and the only reason they didn't leave was because they were in a sealed container. I, being the scientist that I am, began more testing to figure out how this was happening:

*Image of Komui testing dozens of items by placing them near the Innocence cells, of all kinds. (A live chicken strangely to, since Komui suspected it might be it seeking out 'food' to sustain itself)*

I was about to give up, when an epiphany hit me:

*Slideshow of Komui first thinking about his sister, and the first slide being about her battling Akuma. The second is of how she uses Innocence to accomplish this. Third, of Innocence and its destruction of Dark Matter, its seemingly eternal enemy. Fourth is of Komui thinking about all three previous slides in one. Fifth in the slideshow is of the ideas becoming one giant jumbled mess. Sixth is of the fifth slide taking a more easy to understand shape. Seventh is of the sixth slide doing what it did but more so. Eighth is basically seventh in the sense that it does the same thing. Ninth is of the ideas finally becoming a readable form; that being a single sentence, of which read "Innocence wants to destroy Dark Matter, no matter what form, Cells or otherwise."*

Of course, I needed Dark Matter to test my theory, and I was pretty sure there was some located in storage:

*Video of him digging through old boxes marked 'STORAGE' and eventually taking a nap, only for a box to fall on top of his resting frame and spill out Dark Matter Akuma processors.*

And upon putting it near the Innocence cells, I was proven correct:

*GIF of Komui moving the Dark Matter processor to the song 'I Whip My Hair Back and Forth', and seeing the Innocence moving in sync.*

Just to see how effective it would be, I placed a portion of the cells on top of the Dark Matter processor, for scientific reasons of course:

*Movie-esq scene Innocence Cells in a Boxer's outfit being placed in a ring with Dark Matter dressed in the similar attire, which was then quickly replaced by the Innocence getting beaten the crap out of by the Dark Matter, and followed then by the Innocence punching the Dark Matter once and two voices calling out 'C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER' and 'K, O!' respectively as it falls to the floor boxing arena floor.*

That was more or less what I thought would happen. What _did _happen though, was:

*Innocence Cells dressed like Alex Mercer picking the Dark Matter up by the neck and tearing into it with his trademark tendrils, consuming it.*

It _consumed _the Dark Matter processor, or merged, or possibly something in between the two instead. It, needless to say, shocked me:

*Image of Chibi Komui with his ever widening eyes being the only thing moving, prior to face faulting and giant 'wut' emoticon over his head/feet.*

And what was left over, was, well, _that_:

*Picture of the thingy impossible to describe.*

* * *

_**~XXX~  
END OF STORY TIME, WITH KOMUI!  
~XXX~**_

* * *

*Last video before it truly ends of Chibi Komui running onto the scene and grabbing the bottom of the screen, and pulling it down further before letting it go resulting in it jerking quickly upwards to reveal the scene prior to story with Komui, the only difference being an extremely mystified Reever.*

How did he manage to do all that…? _Thought Reever._

"_And that's the story Section Leader Reever." Said Komui with a smile._

_Reever sweat dropped. "Right." Reever began drumming his fingers on the workbench. "So~~~, whilst this is all interesting and everything, you didn't do this project personally just to avoid work now, did you?" Here, Reever gained the aura he always did when it came to Komui slacking._

_A very scary and murderous aura, that is._

_Komui gained the inverse of Reever's aura, a very apologetic and fearful one "wha-what? Of course not! I mean no offence but I just thought that things like these were more…up my alley, yes, that's a good one, up my alley." He spoke with his hands waving in a clear sign of submission._

_Reever sighed, relenting, albeit still clearly angered and twitching due to it. "I suppose that's the best I'll ever get out of you…Supervisor Komui." Admitted Reever, of who lost all his outward anger upon finishing his sentence. "What do you think this means, though?" Tested Reever, soon after his confession._

"_What, I don't know. I can tell you the facts though." Komui raised a hand, with four fingers standing tall on it. "Fact one, this is something I've never seen before. Fact two, I do not know what it is in of itself. Fact three, this will require further testing, and fact four, well, we need to find Adam now more than ever. It's possible we might be dealing with an evolution of Innocence here."_

* * *

**AN: Not much to say, honestly. And hello, this is Follie here.**

**Unfortunately, I have sad news. Upon forcing Morgan Freeman to read the object I plan on releasing on New Years eve, he tragically, and unexpectedly, killed himself by strangling himself with his own intestines as the rope.**

**Well, at the very least, he found something he wanted to devote himself comepletely to other than acting, right? Right?**


	37. EA CONSPIRACY THEORY

_**EA:  
WHY THEY RUIN GAMES:  
STORY TIME BY FOLLIEOF "DA BADEST MOFO EVA" MADNESS  
SEQUAEL  
(Now with 20 per cent more Acid!)**_

* * *

**AN: 'Sup, Bitches? Nah I'm just kiddin'. Y'all are just my slaves. There's a difference.**

**This story here is what made Morgan kill himself now, so I'd appreciate it if you read it to. Just in case, a loaded fire-arm will be dispensed from the nearest Mailslot after the conclusion of this story.**

**With that said and done, read on my loyal subjects. Read, _on..._**

_Done Whilst Listening To:_

_**Caramelldansen **_by** _Caramel_**

**_Best Friends (Maxi Version) _**by** _Toy-Box_**

_Wone Dhilst HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII On:_

_Many things, namely:_

**_Meth _**injected through** _Eye_**

**_Crack _**injected through** _Ass Cheeks_**

**_Cocaine_ **injected through **_Skull_**

**_Refrain _**injected through** _Foot_**

**_Psycho_** injected through _**Right Testicle**_

_**Jet** _injected through **_Left Testicle_**

And last but not least:

**_Life _**injected through **_Forehead_**

* * *

Deep within the confines of the HQ of Evil Arts (EA to you and me) they are secretly scheming a scheme to end all scheme except not because despite the title they aren't actually that evil. But that's what they want you to think! They go around dipping children in molten chocolate and stealing old lady's handbags in an attempt to make you think that they are good! Nay, in truth, they actually do the unthinkable! The unconquerable! The unstoppable! The metaphysically incredulously arithmetically god-like-ness! They actually…HELP OUT AT HOMELESS SHELTERS AND TAKE CARE OF ORPHANS! Yes, EA truly are that inebriated. (**AN: **And so you know I am sobr)

Anyway with that randomness out of the way John Riccitiello was doing typical good guy stuff (He was setting an orphan on fire and whipping him and laughing 'cus he's a good guy) and his underling Peter Moore was shooting the wall with AK447 (It's lime more advanced because it has computer parts strapped to it hence the 4) because it was looking at him funny and might leak information and after sleeping with Sarah Palin so many times he couldn't even remember which by the way was Peter Moore he realised despite his damage brain that by the way is damaged that you shouldn't sleep with Sarah Palin whilst ramming your face into a belt sander, since he no longer had a face.

Blake Jorgensen was burning money with more burning money and that money was on fire from more burning money in the first place so that isn't illogical and because physics are weird and heat can like happen because of flames. And he was on fire like literally because he was smoking burning money and money that burns burns you again because physics suck. His face was rapped in bandages because of flames and flames are fire and fire bad. (**AN:** HAHA GEDDIT DRACULA SAID THAT) Blake was such a badass that he didn't care as his body was burning and smouldering because he was on aspirin and that helps with burns. Besides he had Health kits anyway. But then he saw sign outside and saw that no health packs in real life and that caused him to start screaming in agony because it hurt because fire does that to you. And then he was incinerated and then revived at the nearest checkpoint because wasn't stupid enough to not put Iron on. But it cost money and he was sad because then Hyperion told him to LIVVVVVVVE and that totally wasn't a Code Geass reference. (**AN:** If you don't knew that is then make tree and lke leave)

Rajat was licking Curry and eating it at the same time since he is Indian and stuff and the curry was tasting good and Curry sighed in moaning and fell off his chair from over-stimulation since the Curry was an Ardat-Yakshi. Anyway he got up because Frank Gibeau revived him and threwn into water and it was revealed that Rajat was actually A ROBOTIC ENDERMEN and also a fire-type since he took like a gazillion times more damage than normal and died. And Gibaeu levelled up and challenged Red to a duel and won because he cheated by cutting off Red's Pikachu. (**AN: **Yeah, his prized 'Pikachu' got cut right the f*ck off) Red fell threw the floor loudly silently screaming as he faded away from existence for reasons that were plot. Gibeau stole his seat and sat on it because that's what Bar stools are for and contrarararary to pupolar believe you don't drink beer from them. Patrick wwas doing Patrick stuff in the corner because he was crying because Rajat was his mother and he loved her but not like in a necrophilia way sicko's.

Andrew Wilson was beathing his wife in the doorway because she wasn't alive and then he took out an AK447 and shot all over the walls and people and people were like shouting and then the gun ran out of bullets and he through it threw the windaw. But then things happened and not stuff that Andrew liked. He saw…JOHN RICCITIELLO AND HIS CHAIR WERE BEING SAT ON BY HIMSELF. John shout "ENOUG! WE NEED TO MAKE MOAR GOOD PLANZ!"

"YEAH!" Agreed the Indian guy thing. "TOTALLY!" Shout a person. The room was unanimous in its decision to be good and kill children. When suddenly…

BILL GATES CRASHED THREW THE WINDOW WITH AN AK447 THAT HAD COMPUTER PARTS STRAPPED TO IT AND SARAH PALIN (She actually wasn't a spy after all. But she sure knows how to make a man talk. Or shout even. Smiley face - Bill) WAS ATTACKED TO HOOK FROM BILLS FACE AND BILL WAS TALKING ALL CAPS BECAUSE HIS CAPS LOCK KEY WAS BROKEN SINCE HE WAS ACTUALLY A machine. "WHY THE HELL ARE OU DOING YOU MOTHERUCKERS!"

"Nothing evil." John Riccitiello said menacingly, making his evil intentions.

"Yeah, just gonna whip us some kids!" Said Indian guy in Texas accent.

The board room was shouting and the sun was shining and the plants were singing and Bill Gates felt merciful and remembered his past because of steaks at time.

_**MEANWHILE IN THE PAST SOMETIME AGO**_

IT WAS EARLIER THAT DAY THAT BILL GATES WAS CONTRACTED BY BARACK OBAMA TO ASSINITE AND MURDER ALL THE MEMBERS OF THE BOARD, and Bill Gates agreed because EA was a mijor competitor when it came to global damnation.

Anyway Bills Gates was leaving when he saw Sarah Palin screawing a belt sander sicne it had someones face on it and due to her high intelligence she thought it was a person. He talked ot her and they had threesome with sander whom Sarah said was tooo rough and had guns so that Nill could kill president. Then Srah Palin revelead mask and tok of it and reavelead that she was aactually ABRAHAM LINCOL and that she wanted to help Bill Gates kill John and his bord friends since they wronged him back when he was alkive (**AN:** In this he is 18 so no Bill isn't a paedophile) and because he liked killing white guys since he was ricast and black. (**AN: **Don't tell me he isn't he's wearing a mask and YOU KNOW IT) but despite this weirdness Bill Gates and Abraham Licnolc rode out int the sun-set together on a jetski across the Sahara deserts since Barack Obama was actually…HA YOU'LL HAVE OT FIND OUT WHY LATER

_**MEANWHILE IN THE PRESENT JUST NOW LIKE LITERALLY NOW AS YOU ARE READING THIS BUT WHY ARE YOU READING THIS MAKES MORE SENSE THAN MILK IN A CUP SINCE CUPS HATE MILK WHO PUTS MILK IN CUPS ANYWAY MILKS HATES BAGS**_

Bill Gates remembered the lost of virility like it was yesterday because it was and that he had spent a lot of time asking locals for directions to Newy Ork sin according to google it din't exist here in south amaerica. He flew using Sarah Palins thrusters (**AN: **What else could be in those breasts? Flesh? HA! There are jet thrusters in here and you know it!) across the pacific andintro heaven because only person had a clue where new Yok was. Bill's old friend Michael jackosn was doing the Thriller in the grand hall of heaven and Bill Gates wiat because it was exclusive to children. (**AN: **Too soon?) But hten bill ghad idea and said to God 'cz he wanted an autograph from Michael Jackson tuo "GOD GIVE ME YOUTH" and god was like "IN ORDER TO TURN BACK INTO THE AGE OF EIGHT, YOU MUST ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS 2"

"AND BILL WAS LIKE OKAY" because he is all pawerful and stuff since jesus helped him with recreating the universe and that intomactally makes him cool. Power can only be defeated by more power. That is the one constant in the universe. That's what Bill said to Albert Wekser on his 12th birthgay since he is father of man. And from what Bill lst hard Albert was practically on fire and he assumed that stuff was good because its not like he could have gotgen kill ed or anything like lol right/ but that's just what Bill gates thinks and is not true because it isn't what he thinks.

Anyway things happened like this:

_Ol' Peter moore was stompin' around,_

_EA board room like a big greyhound,_

_When suddeny Bill gates burst from the window,_

_And hit Peter with a tub of bat Guanno,_

_Peter got pissed began to attract,_

_But didn't exhect to be blockd by Blak,_

_And proceeded up a can of Blake glue,_

_When JESUS CHRIST jumped ut of the blue,_

_And he started beating up Shaquille O' Neil_

_But both god hit by the John-Mobile,_

_But before he could make it back to the Jon-cave_

_MICHAEL JACKSON came moonwalking away,_

_And took an CAT out from under his AK447 (__**AN: **__ It shoots both the word MEOW and furballs the size of bus'),_

_And blew John away with MEOWMEOWMEOWTATATAT,_

_But he ran out of bullets and he moonwaked away,_

'_Cuz Master Chief came to save the kitten._

_THIS WAS THE ULTIMAT SHOWDOWN,_

_OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT DESTINY,_

_THIS WAS THE ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN,_

_SOMETHING THAT RHYMES WITH DOWN-ESTINY,_

_Good guys more so and explosions!_

_AS FAR AS THE HSORT RENDER DISTANCE IN MINECRAFT,_

_AND ONLY ONE HAS SURVIED,_

_I WONDER WHO IT HAS BEEN (__**AN: **__*SPOILER* It's jesus)_

_THIS WA THE ULTIMAT SHOWDOWN,_

_OF UTImATE DESTINY_

_Peter took a bite out of master Chief,_

_Like a fat guy who was really hungry,_

_And Blake can back covered in a tire hack,_

_When Dr. Hax glided onto his back,_

_And Bill Gates was injured, and in searc of light eco, (__**AN: **__With light eco you heal yourself.)_

_When Michael Jackson shot up the glee club, (__**AN:**__ SERVES THM RIGHT FOR RUINING ME SNGS! – Michael Jackson's words, not man)_

_But suddenly something caught his face he flipped,_

_Rajat took him out with his kick._

_And he saw John Riccitiello sneakning up from behind, _

_And he reached for his curry which he just couldn't find,_

_Cuz Bill Gates tole it and he shot and hi missed,_

_And Dr/ Hax reflected it with his hips,_

_And he fjumped in the air and he did a somuer sault,_

_Wile Michael Jackson ried to cast a vote,_

_But they collided at the booth,_

_And they both got hit by the lasso of truth._

_This was the ul,timate showdown of ultimate destirny_

_(__**AN: **__I think) Good guys Ea board members nd Micagael jackosn as far the eye can seen_

_And only Jesus sruribed, I wonder hwo it hs been_

_TThis was sort of the ultimate showdown of ultimate shodetiyn_

_Men sang out, in an immaculate schorus_

_And down from the heavans descended Chukc norsis,_

_Whm dlivede a kick that could shatter bowls,_

_Into the crothco, of the Rajat Taneja,_

_Whom fell over on the ground, writhing in pain_

_As Bill gates cam bak into the game,_

_But Hucks say through is clotever eyes,_

_And crushed his own head between his thights,_

_And then Sonc the hedgehong anc knuckles th hedgehong,_

_And Kanye west with his awesome raping beat,_

_A chrnoci masterbator beating his meat, and a shoe_

_And Pikachu and his trainer ash_

_Hulk wnet smash, Bruce Baner,_

_A 4-chaner, and Lil' wayna_

_Willy wonkam, something_

_Every single congress member,_

_John F. Kennedy, and Mitt Romney_

_A soch, a rochnj, a c*** and a block –_

_All came out of nwohep0s lightinginin fast,_

_And they kciek chcukmn oriis in his corpses ass,_

_It gthe most en sided Battle htat people abgeverfed saw._

_Wijgjk Gehower Bushb look nhng on I n total l aawe,_

_The v9ght raged on for a cetnruty ish_

_Man lives wre clamied btu evenatuALLY]_

_THE CHAMPION STOOD THE WRWSH SAW THEIR BETTERE_

_MR. ROGERSDSC IN BALOODSTAIENDI ASSWEATER_

_THIS IN KT AGTHE ULTumte gaowqdhqn Of ultaimte dezitbyn,_

_Good guags and bug guay0gw ajcaidn aexpoolloskisp as farhtg atas taeehv aeyes coyudl sese_

_And onohlap;sjdcs ln eon wihhbap lll suribek I wondedirfhaofhow hwp asopi been_

_This isn tghel aut;atiemad hsowdowbn_

_(Of desitn aityok)_

_His isa the ultaiten hxowdxnwo_

_(Of ultaikneihja destitny9)_

_Thisj isn the ullmagie0ik showdnw_

_(Of tumatnja0e ddestiny)_

_Of ULAG TNEOAONIOKWNIKGN LOGN AKN GKW NDESTINY AND EJSJUS_

But god was asking a quesitosn AND BILL ENEDED ATO ASNWER I t begfore god became angery since he lived to anger.

Bill gatea asked Godd "What is they name?' and god said "I Haveth no NAEM" AND BILL GATSES SIAD THAT WAS THE NAEAORRECT ANSWER AND DEACITVAGTE HIDSD HOLORAM SELF THATHE LAEFT BEHIDN FOR HIS BLACK DETECTIVE FREIDND TO FIGUJRE OUT TO CLJUE TO PREVENT AND ROBTO APOCLALPYPSE.

And then Bill asked an other question and Bill was like "What is the point of seixstenc?" and God was like "12" and bill gates nod and smile an laugh and grin smirk and then svilly as he ripped of his head to revwla that he was acutalll JOHN RICCITIELLO impersonating Bill because Bill Gates dnever existed but njohn Ricitiello never loved him anyway. And god was ,ike "OH MY ME YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD YPU TRICKED ME INTO OPENING THE OMEGA MASS RELAY VIA LAETTING MAICHALE JACKSON OPEN HIS THEATER DOORS AT THE PLACE THAT IHE IS AT WIHCIH INVOLVES CHIDLREN" AND JOHN RICCIETIELLO WAS LIKE "FUCK YEAH NOW MY OMVERLORDS THE REPAERS CAN DESTROY HER GLAXY.

BUT DESCENDING FROM HEAVEN TO HEAVEN WHAT COMMANDER NORRIS AND HIS CREW OF ACTUALLY COOL CHARACTERS AND MIRANDA BUT NO ONE CARES ABOUT MIARNAD BUT SHOTS HAWT AND ALSO CURRENTLY DEAD BECAUSE COMMANDER NORRIS ACCIDENTLY BLW HER MIND WHEN SCREWING HER (He's Commander Chuck Norris Shepard. Shep happens.) SICNE THAT'S ALL THAT SHE SGOOD FOR AND STUFF BESICE OTHRE THINGS THAT FOR THE SAKE OF THE CHILDREN THEY WERE NOT BE ADOPETED AND OR CFARED FOR.

Anyway john Riccitiello and Commander Chuck Norris Shepard engaged into a battle of awesomeness in which Norris was shouting and John Riccitiello was whispering whilst shouting and whispering whilst Commander Chuck Norris Shepard engaged into a battle of awesomeness in which Norris was shouting and John Riccitiello was whispering whilst shouting and whispering whilst Commander Chuck Norris Shepard was Chuck Norrising the Reapers with dual M60's Rambo Norris style since he's actually his grandfather's son twice divorced cousin.

But John Riccitiello was winning this battle of mashing B button and all of a sudden Solid Snake got a tingling sensation in his pants. He just got a hard on from watching two grown men fight and he was like "BRO AM I TRIPPING OR WAT" but then helped Chuck Norris win when he didn't need because he's Chuck Norris. John Riccitiello stood up on top of the wreckage of Harbinger and said "RUN YOU FOOLS" because John Riccitiello was actually a good guy and then Solid Snake was like wut and Chuck Norris was smiling in a evilly wise way and shout "I SHALL NOW GET REVENGE FOR MY FATHER AND BROTHERS" as he removed his head to reveal that he was EZIO AUDITORE DA FIRENZE. "OH NO I KNEW IT IT WAS YOU YOU MOTHERFUCKER WHO KILLED MY MOTHER" Shout Bill Gates as he parasailed into Ezio and Ezio fell down needing a revive with his pistol drawn. He was shooting at Altair wanting him to revive him but all his ancestor did was teabag him as he died but then last second rezed him and Ezio scream into mic like twelve year old boy probably because he was "YOU FUCKING FUCKER OF FUCKING ASSHOLES I FUCKING NEARLY FUCKING DIED FUCKING YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE FUCKING MOTHERFUCKING YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL" and Altair was laughing and the pants were singing literally because both of them were high on Acid.

But then the next wave was inbound and Altair ninja flipped and landed on a Tauntaun and rode it to a place which had people in it and Bill Gates followed on a pterodactyl which had Jet Engines and computer parts and GUNZ strapped to it make it more arrowdinamyc. Chuck Norris stared down Solid Snake and said "YPOU SHALL NTO PASS" and Snaek was like "I MA SLICE THE FUKC OUTTA YOU BITCH" abd pulled out a SOCOM and cut Chuck Norris in half. But then Chuck Norris got up and stareted laughing in a really Alucard way because he was him! The original Vampire shouted "IMMA FIRIN' MY BLAHHHH!" and host a laser beam out of his eyes and destroyed the cabbage man's stand. "MY CABBAGES" you no get points ofr guessing who said dat.

And then Cabbage man was like "SUPA POWAS ACTIVATE" and became a super saiyan. Elsewhere, that fat guy who eats light (Keep him AWAY from Death Note!) was starving to Megadeth.

Super Saiyan Cabbage man shot out a gazillion lazers and made Chuck Norris do the matreix and an ACNI PAI began for the crown.

_**MEAHWILE**_

_**UNDERNEATH THE BUILDUING OF EAVIL ARTS**_

A man in black and dressed in dark black with black everything whilst black was blacking a blackl wand blacking blcakc black.

The black was like "WE SHALL DESTROY THEM ALL" and the other black was like "U DON'T SAYY?" AND HEN HE WAS LIKE CHICKENS AND SAYINGS "I will continue my campaign against the HUMANS" AND THINGS WENT BLACK BUT NOT IN A RACIST WAY.

END OF ONE AND THE PTHERS WILL BEGON SHORTLY

* * *

**AN: AND ALL THEM MORTALS WERE LIKE "ERMEHGERD THIS STORY IS THE BEST EVAR" BECAUE FOR ONCE THEY ARE TRUE AND I Am speaking in all caps for some reason, the hell...?**

**Whatev's.**

**As you can probably tell, I'm back to normal now. Well, as normal as a man who constantly and consistently says the wrong things to people and lacks a shiz-ton of social skills and sits in a corner typing the shit you digest with your eyes (My story). Don't think about that mental image. Don't think about it. Don't think about it. Don't think about it. DON'T THINK ABOUT IT! DON'T. THINK. ABOUT. IT! STOP IT! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!**

**Ahem**

**I'm more than likely going to regret ever writing this thing. I know I already am. Meh.**

**For your entertainment people, for your entertainment.**

**Ciao for now, and I'll see you, next time~~~.**


	38. Happy New Year Y'all!

**_~~Dear Subjects~~:_**

* * *

_I have literally less than twenty seconds to write this - oh fuck me, I was aiming to write this letter and upload it before the New Year was in, but now it's past 11:30pm for me. :(_

**_HOWEVER_**

_I still wish, with all my heart, and as far as my pockets can go since you are all effectively working under me so I wish it most on those who make me the most truly, that you all/those that make the most amount of money/care for me the most/haven't been executed for treason A.K.A saying I'm a douche yet, a happy new year._

_Oh, and before you say it's annoying CrazySarahify, oh yeah I'm callin' you OUT, that's the point of messing with people, 'tis it not? :)_

**_~With As Warm As A Winter Storm A.K.A Blizzard Wish~  
Have a Happy New Year, y'all!_**

**_Now excuse me I have chapters to write. Tata~~._**

* * *

**AN: Why am I even putting this here?**


	39. She Racks DISCIPRINE!

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

* * *

_Chapter 33: She Racks DISCIPRINE!_

* * *

**AN: All I have to say is Happy New Year for y'all! And that I would appreciate it if you voted on my poll and reviewed my story.**

* * *

_**~XXX~  
Moore  
~XXX~**_

"So, what do menstruating individuals such as yourself do for fun?"

Moore gave the same face I had seen at least a thousand times in the four minutes I had been there; the one in where it was clear that she wanted to murder me but held herself back, more than likely due to the Earl's orders.

"I won't disclose anything about myself so long as you are being so…so…so…" She struggled to find the word to perfectly capture me, so I substituted for her.

Aren't I a nice guy?

"Sexy? Hot? Amazing? All of the above? None of the above since language can't capture my magnificent nature enough?" I offered.

Cue her twitching eyebrow. "That."

I smirked. "That's me. I'm a magnificent bastard, baddest mofo ever to exist past present AND future to you, and if you can't handle my obviously superior personality compared to your one-faced pissed off one, well…if you can't handle the heat, get back in the Kitchen."

As most would imagine, I hit a nerve. "Listen you _twerp_, the only reason you can still talk right now is because the Millennium Earl ordered me to try and get to know you before I start hitting you. Like last time."

"Last time?" I tested. "To him, there shouldn't _be _a last time. I covered for you as a way of extending the hand of friendship without actually extending a hand that at the time I had reason to believe you would snap off and play with like a chew toy. So, unless he hath telekinesis, I don't understand how he would know." The infernal contraption that was my mind smacked it all together at that instant. "You told him, then. Must have. Didn't you?"

She suddenly found the wall very interesting. "I didn't tell him. I honestly don't know how he found out, but he just said that I 'shouldn't hit people before getting to know them more, no matter how infuriating they are'. Doesn't stop me from wanting to wring your neck, though."

I lying to cover my own ass and keep that card about me being able to make a fake Millennium Earl close to my chest was apparently a waste, then. I thought. Hm…maybe not, actually.

I sighed, and retorted "to be honest, I would have done the same thing if I were you as well. Here's this little bugger just comes waltzing on in and doesn't apologize for bumping into you. I would have been annoyed to, so I've forgiven you for it." Ahem, cough cough no I haven't cough cough.

Wow, cold must be going around.

Now, her gaze was upon my face, forcing its way into it in a bid to find truth. "Truly? You've forgiven me?"

I made a dismissive gesture. "It isn't a big deal. I'm sorry for colliding into you and whatnot. My mistake." Bullshitting; also known as calming down violent women 101.

Her turn to smirk came then. "If you truly mean what you say, then fight me. After all, the old Noah proverb goes you don't know a woman until you have a fist fight with her."

Before I could even scream "LUL SKYRIM REFERENCE WAIT WUT" at the top of my lungs she was dragging me to what I presumed was my doom. Why didn't I attempt to escape?

A reason or one. And I actually did, yes.

My reason was if I said that I didn't mean what I say, she would get pissed and beat me. Again.

My attempt was foiled quite quickly in fact, and the only thing it did accomplish in the train-wreck that was the attempt itself was making her angrier. "Stop struggling. It's getting annoying."

"That's funny. I remember saying that to YOUR MOTHER LAST NI- WOOOOAH!" My words were interrupted by the sudden change in direction, and altitude, on my half.

She threw me into a room. Face first.

Upon collision with the ground did I realise just how hard it was. The thing was made of stone, and moments after touching my face did I realise that I was bleeding, alongside there being a trail of blood from my face making a perfect line across the room with further inspection of the area.

"The heck is this place…?" I spoke to myself, already feeling the swelling temptation to taste the blood. Just once.

"This is my training room. Using it, I practice my combat skills. It's a great way to let off steam as well. Two birds, one stone."

Cue slow clap.

"That pun hurts worse than the stones currently ground into my face. Speaking of which, OW! YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO THROW ME! I UNDERSTAND TRYING TO SHOW OFF BUT COME ON! THIS IS MY FACE WE'RE TALKING ABOUT! I HAVE A POTENTIAL MODELLING CAREER WITH THIS!" I said with a voice filled with fury, and also slight sadness whilst pointing-at/gingerly-rubbing my face.

"Shut up." She uttered simply, casting aside her coat and revealing the same dress shirt she wore when I met her in her own home. At least, that was what I thought at the time.

"I DON'T DO REQUESTS! I DO DO WOMEN THOUGH, AND YOU'RE LOOKING PRETTIER BY THE MINUTE!" I retorted as I retrieved a some-what battle-y stance. (Whilst I can show off my power due to my sync rate and not have to worry about explanations, experience I can't explain.)

In the resulting silence and hollowness of the room, one could have heard the sound of a butterfly flapping its wings.

Or the sound of a small, slow burning flame.

Moore blinked as she could have sworn on her life that she heard a slight crackling coming from behind her. She was intending to see what it was, however due to the opponent in front of her she couldn't afford to.

What a mistake that it was.

"Check, Moore." Flowed from my mouth in confident tones as I moved out of my stance, and gestured for my flame clone to cock the gun.

The sound managed to give Moore a pretty good indicator of the situation she was in.

"The clone can kill you faster than you could ever hope of blinking. You've lost, Moore. Before this battle's even started." I said as I walked towards the door, intention plain as day to leave.

"Where do you think you're going?" Moore said self-assurance gleaming and _very _evident.

"What are you so smug about?" I tested, entirely sure that she was up to something.

"Nothing. Beyond the obvious fact that you underestimated your opponent." Before my guard could even be raised Moore had grabbed me and used me as a shield between her and my clone.

Clever, clever woman…waiting until I was close and unguarded. Very clever.

The clone, being just that, wasn't sure of where to tread with its actions. Its aim was still head level, directly at mine to be exact given exactly how Moore was using me as a shield.

"Order the clone to disperse, or I behead you. This is still a fist fight, as intended." Her voice travelled elegantly and menacingly into my close ears.

"Wouldn't beheading me go against the fist-fighting setting you've set?" A retort came easy; dissuading the thought of this woman killing me then and there was not.

"Who said that I would something other than my hands?" Yeah, you all can just ponder what that means.

At least if I'm going to die, I'm going to be dead at the hands of a woman with a killer line. Ha, puns even to the end. I thought. Might as well do as she says if I still want my head.

"Fine fine. Clone, disperse." I ordered.

The ordered person in question pouted. "Aww, can't I exist for a little bit longer~~?"

"No. Disperse." I reiterated much to the clones chagrin.

With a groan, the clone did as ordered, and re-joined with Innocence in my hand. I flexed the muscle, getting it back in working order before saying to Moore "you can let me go now."

The Noah, or the female one anyway, did so, and I took my place a ways away from her. She made a stance of her own, and even from a place on high you could feel the tension of both sides waiting for one another to move. Every twitch, every adjustment, everything was watched with careful eyes in order to find a crack in the movement. An opportunity to seize. A position to take and hold.

The first strike, in a nutshell in a fight.

And then as you would expect we struck each other, fists colliding.

And then as you would expect, me not really being accustomed to going fist to fist to a Noah, keeled over in pain.

Cue me falling to floor rubbing my knuckles. "OW OW OW OW OW!" I whined as I rolled on my back, similar to a tortoise when trying to get itself off its back, Moore's sweatdrop was most obvious. "ARE YOUR FREAKING KNUCKLES MADE OF STEEL WOMAN? OWWWWWW-" at that point my stature changed, and threw Moore through the loop, "just kidding," as I did so literally (Conjured flaming loop, ho!) to her, her sweat drop comically staying in place before gravity took its toll on it.

She reconnected with the ground a small distance away, but enough so that she was farther than a few yards. "As an Exorcist, I've had worse to deal with than that. I know a thing or two about evasion, and if you insist on hand to hand I simply have to make sure you don't hit me. Simple." Cue me cracking me neck like a total baller and then wincing as it actually made my neck feel worse. "Now, hit me with your best shot!" I shouted, tapping my chest in a proclaiming manner. "You won't survive if you don't come at me like you intend to kill me. Run, strafe, fight, punch and kick and claw and slice and tear and break and crush and destroy and annihilate! Do all these things, and then some, and you might stand a chance in your one-sided battle against me. Might. I don't guarantee your survival, even in my defeat. Still want to fight? Your undisputed funeral, _Moore_."

With fiery fury, antagonistic anger, hostile hate, malevolent malice and an innumerably infinite thousand other alliterations, we began our fight proper, and fiercer.

I punched. She ducked. She retaliated. I leaned. Fists were flying, we were weaving, blows were landing, blows were missing, grunts of pain were made, and grunts of effort were made. All the ingredients of a past boiling point fight were mixed together, and boy were they sizzling.

"YOU HIT LIKE A GIRL!" Moore taunted, as I copped a blow on her leg.

"I'M NOT EVEN SURE YOUR MOTHER IS ONE AFTER LAST NIGHT!" I counter-taunted as I absorbed a blow aimed for my face with my hand.

Something other than a lip cracked at that, and I was pretty sure it was on Moore's end.

She screamed akin to the most animalistic of savage monsters, and I barely managed to get away from her in time to save my arm, which she almost broke in that instance.

Without form or technique or even style, Moore ran for my head, and nearly succeeded in collecting it had I not ducked under the blow. Her ensuing barrage of ferocious fists gained a piece of pace for every single blow countered or deflected, and if she went any faster and harder then not only would I have no choice but to say that's what she said, but also to not hold back.

Since I was by the way. I'm not _that _weak, thank you.

Soon enough her speed overcame my reaction time, and I had no choice lest I wanted to blow my cover however to let the blows reach me. The blows and bruises stacked a mile high, and that increased by the second, and rapidly at that. The fists of the woman were impossible to distinguish from one another, and at one point of undiscernible origin they ended up appearing as though there was an armada's worth of hands, great in number and force.

As most would understand, or have realised by now, things weren't going all that well for me, by the time I was uppercutted into the air and then forced into the floor I could feel unconsciousness nipping at the back and sides of my mind most certainly.

Groaning and bleeding, I acquired my footing, and learning form past mistakes I grasped the blow designated as my destroyer. "Tykki already tried spawn camping, and I just got Server Spawn Protection!" I said in defiance as I used what strength I had that wasn't Noah level (I might not be awakened but I'm still above normal in that regard) left to push her hand back, and proceeded to the retaliation and or reiteration of my domination. (Ooooooh you know I was pissed when I was breaking out the big words so~~~n.)

Understanding her moves with my awesome intellect, I countered beyond the human reaction time, I countered before they even _began, _and as such her attacks were negated swiftly and efficiently. Case in point following the blow I grasped, she tried to punch me directly (You just activated my Adamcard –_ Adam_) only to hit air as I evaded with the greatest of ease and pulled her arm behind her back, restricting her. She thrashed, and I bashed via grasping the back of her head and going with a full dental check-up; the floor as my utensils.

With sheer brute force however, after the first ground collision she flipped over, sending me to the stone beneath me instead and disorienting me temporarily.

It was long enough for her to get into an advantageous position over me in where she had her legs on both my side and her body over mine.

"Usually I'm the one on top." I quipped as I blocked, or tried as best I could, Moore's aggressive attacks as fast as they came.

Whether she could hear me or not became irrelevant after one particularly bad blow to the side of my head, which collided with my temple.

Now it was I who could not hear. Nor could I see anything in particular. It was a daze, a familiar daze, but a daze I could not escape with her barrage still going on nonetheless. The glows, if it was possible, seemed to disintegrate the molecules in the room and then rebind them via melting them back together as it gradually became less and less detailed, and far more blurred. All my will went into resisting, to protecting myself and averting unconsciousness, however all struggling became pointless and or impossible within seconds of trying.

"I feel unconscious…" I mumbled shortly before a blow caught my jaw and I was willing to bet cracked it, preventing further speech.

My consciousness was given one last push as a fist connected violently with my face in of itself, and the all-consuming all too familiar darkness of unconscious claimed my vision.

{**Arise, Majestic Phoenix!**}

The first sensation going through me upon awakening was simple anguish. The kind you get from having a broken jaw and face, of which I had reason to believe I had. Secondary to that was a sensation of cooling; cooling over all of the areas that anguish had a hold of.

It might have been long ago that I felt it, but similar to how one doesn't forget the feeling of what started them down the path to self-destruction, I never forgot the cooling sensation's particular touch. The way it felt like ice was applied to my skin in waves, like a refreshing drink for a thirst that could not be quenched, or like a butt-load of Innocence interweaving itself into my skin, however that's basically saying X feels like X.

Oh. Right. I was supposed to be poetic about it. Never mind.

Anyway, my secondary feeling that was quickly becoming primary on my list of sensations (Currently two long) was more or less regeneration in a felt form. A picking-myself-off-the-ground later did I decide to see what was happening ot my face, and judging from Moore's expression, of who had backed off when I started spewing flames in all directions due to my Innocence, it wasn't good.

I lightly touched my face, almost acting as if I was expecting to jump up and bite me, which it could considering Innocence was involved, and found nothing physically changed. My face was my face.

At least to my sense of touch.

I called out to Moore, saying "what's wrong with my face?"

She, with obvious hesitance and, strangely fear, replied "y-your face…"

"What about it?" I said, gesturing for her continue.

"It's…it's…"

"Sexy? Unbelievably hot? Remarkably well-toned? All of the above? Another descriptor? What? What's wrong with my face?" I suggested FORWARD SLASH asked. See? I said forward slash. Therefore, no slash, and also therefore, no shipping. SUCK IT SUGGESTED AND ASKED SHIPPERS!

"Black…

…_**it's Black…"**_

* * *

**(SORT OF) ~OMAKE~ (THINGY)**

* * *

_Wait. I just realised something._

You had a thought, Baron? OH MY GOD WE HAVE CAUSE FOR CELEBRATION!

_Shut up. I'm speaking seriously here._

Fine then Killjoy. What is it?

_If the Black Order uniforms have skirts instead of pants, then how did Kanda and his doppelganger bang like wild monkeys if they didn't remove their skirts?_

*Mind numbing silence* I…I think you stumbled across one of the things in life that people don't want an answer to.

_Agreed. Oh so agreed. Help me bury this train of thought would you?_

Okay then. Uh…oh! I know!

Ahem

If you ate the Millennium Earl when he was cooked, what would that make you, since you ARE the Millennium Earl?

_Uhhhhhhhh fug it I'll Google it. Okay, 'would eating myself be cannibalism?'_

_*Clicketyclackityclicketyclac kety* Ah-hah! According to the post by this one anonymous user, it isn't!_

Baron.

_Yes?_

You're the anonymous user.

_No I'm not, how can you insinuate-_

I saw you post the message on the discussion board. I'm the one who created it, even.

_Oh._

Wanna sing a song to commemorate your absolute failure in life?

_Blow me._

Your mother does.

_Bite me._

She does that too when she's feeling kinky.

_Fuck you._

Your mother has.

_In the ass._

I'm trying that out this afternoon on your mother.

_With a pitchfork._

Great metaphor for the size of my man parts, Baron.

_That's one fire._

It feels like after an all-night session.

_I'm not going to win this am I?_

Took that long to realise my obvious superiority? Wow, you is blind, and I don't mean the Chinaman from Rush Hour 3.

_Fuck you all, I'm out._

Laterz, you MLP: FIM watching, George Lucas' d*ck sucking, Old man and Fatass.

_And, by the way, I left 20 dollars behind on the counter last night. Mind getting it for me? It's the end of the chapter after all._

Wait, what? AUTHOR YOU SON OF A BI-

* * *

**(SORT OF) ~OMAKE END~ (THINGY)**

* * *

**AN: Heh, now it's Adam's turn to get stopped mid-sentence.**

**I think I enjoy my job/hobby too much.**

**Uhhhhh- no, I don't think so. *Shoves the recently fallen out of closet corpse of Morgan Freeman back in***

**Anyway,**

**See y'all next chapter.**

**Ciao for now.**


	40. She Racks DISCIPRINE: The Karroting Girl

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

* * *

_Chapter 34: She Racks DISCIPRINE 2: The Karrotting Girl_

* * *

**AN: Nothing much to say readers, beyond thanks for sticking with me this far. I also want to congratulate anyone that will read this thing through to completion.**

**Dudes and dudettes, I have to tell you something. This story, from my plan of it, is going to be SUPER DUPER long. Think of this way:**

**If I had a mega-chapter for everyone chapter up 'till now, which is to say that all the chapters contained 10 times the content that they have, they would still only cover, roughly, a quarter of what I want this story to have. This is going to be a LOOOOOONG journey, folks, so I hope you enjoy it as much as I'll enjoy writing it. :)**

**For an even better example, what DGM, the actual series not this fanfiction, is up to, is probably one a fifth/sixth of what I have planned.**

**There's still a future to explore, you know. :)**

**Oh, and apologies for making you wrong Lonewolf985. There is no Maka and Death Scythe slash in this.**

**That is all.**

**Well, there's _that:_**

**And this:**

**With that, read on...**

* * *

"And turn over."

I craned my neck to the side as the Skull examined thoroughly the black patch (Which I assumed was Innocence) with a multitude of tools; one of them being a Syringe he had used to take samples every now and again.

The Skull plied my head, and I stayed stiller than stone as he checked the underside of my jaw.

"It's just as I thought. It's definitely Innocence that's become so interwoven in your skin." The Skull spoke, one bony head still in a thoughtful pose and the other adjusting my head back to the way it was.

At that time, I was in a room filled with items so science-y and magical that I felt as though I was in an Anime of some kind. The way it looked _unnatural _and different in every aspect of the word, and the massive amount of the equipment there, just made the place seem like what a mad scientist would want his place to appear as during a drug binge. (No no ma~~~~n, I want that to upside _down, _ma~~~~n.)

The Skull still held his pose when I spoke next, "listen Doc, if that's all then I'm just going to leave." The only sign of movement he gave was when I made to leave, and he gestured for me stop.

"Hold on. I'm not done yet. I'm still trying to figure out what exactly has, is, and will happen slash happening slash happened."

I blinked. "You support three word shipping. I am officially creeped out by you now." Cue me slinking back into the chair.

The Skull, giving the way its face moved, raised its equivalent of an eyebrow. "Shipping? Never mind, that's not important. The important thing is that you stay under observation for this. The Innocence woven into your skin has now melded with your face. I don't need to tell you this but it could lead to potential harm on your part. What if the next time you invoke your fire comes out of your face? What of your eyes? What of your more precious tissue behind it? I, and you, don't know what will happen in that instance, so until I get the test results back then you should just keep your Innocence on standby and remain under observation." He lectured, as that was what I felt like I was being.

Sighing, I retorted "can I get a place to lie down at least?"

He nodded, and said "sure. There are rooms down the hall-" he gestured to that very area or more specifically a door in that very area, "-we have for when a medical emergency arises, but since there isn't any you can feel free to use it for the time being. Of course, there will be various machines used to observe you, as that's why you're staying here in the first place, so I hope you don't mind a couple dozen machines being plugged into your body."

Cue eye twitch for the ages. "Couple _dozen?_"

"Well, yes. Couple dozen indeed." The Skull admitted. "We can't take any chances. We're going to need a large amount of machines to observe a great many things about your Innocence. What if it invokes itself? What if it does something else phenomenal? What if your body starts rejecting the Innocence? What if the Innocence starts rejecting you? What if-"

"-I screwed your mother? You're a little late to be saying 'what if' pal." I interrupted. "Spare me the stuff that I don't need to know. What do I need to know about this, and nothing else?" I asked.

He turned his back to me, and retaliated with "not until you apologise."

Eye twitch for the ages returned in force, I'll tell you that. "Skull, tell me what I need to know before I shove a flaming fist so far up your ass that you'll be able to give me high fives with your teeth." I threatened.

He merely reiterated what he said. "Not until you apologise."

I already had my hand outstretched, priming it in such a way that the moment I invoked a gun would be in my hands in seconds, Innocence in my face be damned. "Tell me, or I invoke my Innocence and you learn how to define pain through both a straw and six feet of dirt. Underground."

He tensed extremely noticeably, but replied stiffly "your funeral."

I sighed. "Look, invoking my Innocence won't kill me-" cue flame handgun appearing in my hand, "-see? No pain. Nothing at a-" perhaps I spoke to soon, perhaps I was unimaginably cruel to Innocence in a past life, or perhaps I was just a chronic face pain feeling individual in a past life too or instead. Whatever the reason was, it didn't matter as my face felt as though it caught fire. Kind of ironic when you think about it…

My hands went to my face instinctively, and in a move surprisingly kind move the Skull didn't say told ya so. Rather, he rushed to my aid, and forced my hand away from my face saying "let me see. Let me see."

"It burns…it burns…" I mumbled whilst he pulled my hands off. What he saw shocked him to the point that he fell over on the floor, somehow managing to get a chair to follow his example.

"My Earl…your face…it's gone…" He said through ragged, fear filled breathes.

Backstory here. Imma explain to y'all a little something. Previously, Adam's face was black, as you probably understand, but in fact it was only half so. The right half was what had changed into the black state.

Therefore, for his _entire _face to suddenly burst into - in the sense of pain, anyway - fire was quite the shock.

Adam here. Pain is my trade, and oh my god was business booming. Seriously. Unless you get actually set on fire, there isn't an exact way by any means to explain its sensation. However, here's the synopsis for your entertainment:

You don't inherently feel how the fire breaks the bonds between the molecules/atoms in your body. You don't feel how it takes the carbon out of your body, adds Oxygen, and turns it into Carbon Dioxide. What you do feel though, is something akin to that. You feel the kind of pain that you'd expect from that happening. You feel all your nerves firing at once, screaming their pretty little heads off in a desperate bid to stop what it presumes is your doing. You feel pain unfelt by anything you could have possibly done in all your life, of that I'm certain.

What you _feel,_ is Hell.

It makes sense when you think about it; one-third of you are Carbon, therefore removing a third of you would of course create mind-breaking agony for you to regale yourself with.

Serious damage begets serious pain, after all.

In place of my face, the unimaginably handsome begrudge of all men everywhere and perfectly toned piece of artwork, was nothing.

That however, was in terms of skin. There wasn't any on my face.

Cue my face being entirely the muscles and tendons residing beneath the skin.

Using all my might, I tried to not touch my face knowing all too well that burnt flesh only agonises worse when grasped, however that fell through in a completely failure-esq fashion and my hands grasped also with all their might my burnt off face.

My howls reached new limits, and when they came down they fell to a whisper, more a whimper actually, before an almost passing out way of feeling washed over my being.

Oh, this isn't _like_ passing out, this _is _passing…out…bleh…

As you might have guessed, my mind fell into the black void of unconsciousness, with passing out as its carrier.

_**BLACK ORDER, FIRST ERA, WITH KOMUI AND REEVER**_

"_What scientific discovery have you made this time Supervisor Komui?" Inquired Reever instantly following his feet stepping on the other side of the entrance to the infamous Hell's laboratory._

"_This is serious Section Leader Reever. I believe that I have more reason to think Adam's Innocence is an evolved version of Innocence, or at the very least that his Innocence is attempting something that other Innocence has never done before." Retorted Komui, during his tirade towards the workbench. Immediately after reaching it, a large amount of items were swept away by Komui, leaving a single object left._

_The infamous item of indiscernible ilk, of superficial shape and obtuse origins, the combination of Adam's Innocence Cells and an Akuma Dark Matter processor was laid bare for all to see._

_As if seeing it would do anyone good in describing it._

_Reever, despite having seen the illusive illusion of luscious light and disfigured darkness on his previous visit to Hell's Laboratory, was mystified to high hell at the objects everything. Its texture, its appearance, its origin, its substance; its _everything. _With curiosity-filled eyes, Reever made an approach to the bench, intent on acquiring a closer look._

_Komui however stopped him with an extension of his arm, and duplicated Reever's gaze's destination. "Beautiful, isn't it?" Randomly said Komui._

_Reever startled at Komui, the Section Leader having been wrapped up completely and utterly into his own scientific mind, shortly to replying with an ever so slight stutter "y-yeah, quite the sight, it is." Reever though, a man of quick reaction to situations in where Komui was involved, regained a formal stance and turned to Komui, asking him a question both physically and verbally. "Supervisor Komui, why am I here?"_

_Komui, not quite expecting the question, said with a slight smile "it's one of life's great mysteries, Section Leader. Really, why are we here? Are we the result of some cosmic coincidence? Is there truly a god, observing everything, with a plan for all of us and things of that calibre? I do not know Section Leader Reever, but thankfully it doesn't keep me up at night as it does to some." Answered Komui truthfully._

_Reever, being the man just as used to dealing with Komui as he was to the man himself, merely nodded but sweat dropped admittedly. "That's a fair point but that wasn't my question at all. I asked, why am I here in this box Laboratory? What purpose does it serve?" Spoke Reever._

_Komui adjusted his glasses, and retorted "it's simple. You're here because you said to me to send for you if I discovered anything major. And I did." Here, Komui gestured to the item of no known kind. "This is, if you recall, the same item I showed you last time you were here. _This," _Komui extradited his arm out from under the workbench, in it, an object that proved that the impossible to describe item wasn't a one of a kind, "is something of the same origin, _but, _different circumstances. Let me show you."_

_The second obscenely confounding construct, appearance wise that is, was of an actual _shape. _It could be describe, not in colours, but in outlines, and from that Reever could discern that it was an arm. A _human _arm, taken from a human most likely, extracted from the shoulder down._

_Whether whatever poor sod 'donated' this arm was alive or not, Reever decided that he didn't want to know which._

_Komui removed a separate arm, this one appearing extremely fresh and extremely questionable about how it came into Komui's grasp; from beneath the work bench (How much stuff does he have underneath that thing? – _Reever_) and then atop the bench itself._

"_This is an arm taken from a, willing victi- I mean willing subject, injected with Adam's Innocence cells." The arm in question had a white skin tone, albeit patched with black spots that slithered before the eye. "Originally, I wanted to test to see what would happen if the Innocence in Adam's skin came into contact with something of Dark Matter affiliation, for purely scientific reasons of course, and this was the result." He gestured to the additional article of indescribable ilk. "I will demonstrate." Now, from the bottomless pit that was the underside of the workbench, came both Komui's hand and an Akuma Dark Matter processor. The hand wielding the construct of Dark Matter was utilising a glove, of course. (When did he get that on? – _Reever_)_

"_Observe closely as I put the processor and hand together." The hand, palm up, had a Dark Matter processor placed within its grasp via another hand of demonstrating intention. The black spots accumulated directly onto the hand, turning the palm into a black version of itself, but otherwise nothing of note happened. "See? It appears that Innocence cells themselves attack Dark Matter processors, but not when they are laced within skin. Why, I do not understand. Therefore, when I came to this eventuality on my earlier testing, I thought it best to extract Dark Matter into a cell based form. So, I did." Komui, for the umpteenth time, extracted an item from underneath the workbench. A syringe to be exact. A syringe filled entirely with an evil-looking and aura giving dark purple substance. _

_Three guesses about what it is._

_But you don't get to guess because Komui explains it anyway._

"_This," movement from his hand indicated the syringe, or more specifically its contents, "is Dark Matter in a cell based form. Upon injecting it into the arm, this happened." Komui distanced the Dark Matter processor from the hand's open palm by a wooden table top amount, and upon flicking the needle once or twice, started the injection process directly into the skin. "Just watch, Section leader Reever, and wait." Spoke Komui softly, as he followed his own words._

_At first, it appeared that the Dark Matter was following the processors lead in not being affected beyond the accumulation of cells around it. That was soon altered as the Innocence collided into the wall of Dark Matter cells, and seemingly eviscerated them. It was the equivalent of pouring Oil on an open flame; the effect was instantaneous and very, _very _brutal all things considered. The black of the Innocence spilled into the black that whilst was of the same colour, was distinguishable quite clearly to anyone with working eyes and or perception of the space around them._

_For a visual, think of that one video of people going into Wal-Mart during Christmas, and you'd have the general gist of the rate at which the Innocence was swarming the Dark Matter._

_However, this too changed quickly enough, as the skin gave off small wisps of steam, pathetic in size and appearance. This also shape-shifted fairly soon, and what it became was a billowing steam trail of legitimate boiling water size, at the clear price of the skin. This exchange continued, as patch after patch of skin was disintegrated in order for the steam rising to grow, until the skin of the Innocence's previous housing was purged and bare muscle and tendons remained. The area that the Dark Matter originally inhabited however, was a vastly different story. It, in of itself, was a whole _different _breed of black. There was no writhing, nor was there stillness. It was as if the illusion of stillness that was upon all molecules was broken just for the particular piece of black, and stayed broken for all of eternity. No one could paint a perfect picture of it, that wasn't feasible in any regard; the item defied description nonchalantly, and for breakfast ate the imaginations' of Authors everywhere._

"_As you can see Section Leader Reever, the Innocence, upon merging with the Dark Matter, eradicates the location it previously inhabited." Observed Komui, before continuing. "It appears though that the area it inhabits afterwards though, is something different entirely. When this happened previously, upon further testing of its properties, I discovered something else extraordinary." Komui, for what more or less was the thousandth time, retrieved an object from beneath the Workbench, and placed it atop the bench. This instance had the appearance of a tool somehow used to defibrillate other beings, which is to say he pulled out a defibrillator. "When applying a current similar to the kind the human brain sends out for any action required of the body in general, this occurred." Komui utilised the Defibrillator to pass a current through the entire arm, but not before saying "CLEAR!" comically and rubbing them together with an overly excited expression. The reaction was near instantaneous; the arm jerked this way and that, and Reever was starting to wonder if Komui had done this demonstration because he had a problem with severed limbs earlier to an event happening before his very eyes that did deserve the title extraordinary._

_The limb darkened; and not in the sense of how the sky does when clouds overshadow the sun, or the way a room darkens when the lights are off. It was in a sense that the thing was _corrupted_. It seeped malice, of which seemed to ooze its way around the entire room into people's hearts and around their spines. It was cold, very so, to the touch given what Reever could feel through, the solid kind, and around his spine._

_The limb's corruption was complete, and utter, and Reever did a double take to make sure he was seeing right._

_The colour of the arm's skin, of which had rejuvenated in a wave format, matching the darkening perfectly now that he thought about it, was ash gray. The same grey as one found on the Black Order's most recent addition to what had originally been a two long list, now three._

_The skin's colour matched that of the third's on the list, the list being:_

_Akuma, of course._

_Komui when he builds another scientific marvel, and said scientific marvel (Technically, it's regarded as half and half.)_

_Noah._

_Meanwhile, Section Leader was crapping himself in sync to Komui's silent variation._

"_S-Supervisor Komui, t-that's…" Attempted Reever, stuttering horribly._

_Komui rearranged his glasses, and replied with a nod and words. Those words being "indeed Section Leader Reever. It appears that Adam's Innocence has done something extraordinary; _again. _Now, it's mimicking Noah, and I can only presume that this Innocence is only following in its main body's footsteps."_

_Reever, still mystified beyond belief, responded with a voice being barely above a whisper "what does it mean though, Supervisor Komui? What does Adam's Innocence doing this mean? Why is it doing this?"_

"_Section Leader Reever, I can't answer that entirely. What I can tell though is simple._

_Adam's Innocence is seemingly adopting the Noah skin colour, meaning one thing, and this is just a theory but it still has reason to be believed though. That one meaning is this; Adam's Innocence is now definitely some form of Innocence evolution, and through its evolution it's attempting to replicate the powers of a Noah._

_Section Leader Reever, forgive me for sounding melodramatic but, finding Adam is no longer a prime objective, it is _the _mission objective. We have no choice but to increase out search drastically. Section Leader Reever…"_

_Komui paused; thoughtful look on his face, most likely pondering his own words. "…call Central. We have to tell them of this, pronto. Tell them…_

…_Adam is the Black Order's primary goal._

_He needs to be found, or else we lose what could very well be our greatest weapon in this war to date."_

_**NOAH MANSION, WITH ADAM PHOENIX MILLENNIUM**_

Waking up in a bed I had never slept in before, with clothes I had never slept in before and machines I had slept with before.

Wait, _with?_

Sure enough it was clear as day looking around that I was bound not by leather straps but machines upon machines of all possible shapes and size. One even looked like a Mandolin with the wooden aspect and cords gone.

Trying to get up was near impossible to get up was nigh impossible, and almost immediately upon trying to remove the machines bound to me a door shot open in a very much ready way, with the immature Skull coming on in.

"Stop. Don't move. You're in no state to be walking around now." He said calmly and he eased me back into the bed, against my wishes.

"Lrt mwe gr beefer E mke u lrt gr." I said through muffling bandages. My hands went to my face, caressing the bandages that had wrapped my face up thicker than a tree trunk.

As for the translation:

Official Bandslation (Geddit) – "Let me go before I make you let go."

"Easy. Don't talk, or attempt to anyway since you can't call _that _understandable speech. The skin on your face disintegrated, and that includes your lips and mouth. You won't be talking for a while, unless you _want _to cause your unhealed mouth to rupture and spew blood from it." He said softly as he used his advantageous position to overpower me and push me into the bed.

With an eyebrow twitch, that I was pretty sure invisible to him given the circumstances, I replied "fwine." Official Bandslation – "Fine."

"Hey, don't talk. Just do as I said." He replied with a 'tsk'ing hand motion.

Second twitch, second uttering of fine. "Fwine."

Official Bandslation – "Fine."

"I said, stop that." He condescended.

Third time; third action and reaction. "_Fwine._"

Official Bandslation – "_Fine._"

The Skull made a gesture like he was getting quickly annoyed. "Stop that child, you are hurting yourself!"

Cue a rerun of one of me and Baron's old conversations. "Whwo u clin cha- nh, jssnt ntah thwa smah…"

Official Bandslation – "Who you callin' chi- nah, just not the same…"

"For once in your life Child, listen to someone else! Stop. Talking! Stop moving your lips, stop flapping your gums, just. Stop. _Talking._ Got it?" The Skull announced.

Sighing, and feeling dejected, I said simply "fwine" or attempted to anyway. Turns the Skull knew what he was talking about, as the second I uttered that word blood squirted from my mouth like it was on a mission from god, knocking the Skull clean through the door and the wall opposite to it, sending him sailing into the proverbial distance.

Not even daring to utter 'woops' for comedic effect, I simply laid back down on the bed, and closed my eyes.

* * *

**AN: I'm foreshadowing something else by the way with what Adam's Innocence is doing now. You may not know what it is, but trust me, later on you're going to be kicking yourselves for not noticing the absolutely brilliant foreshadowing on my part.**

**Also:**

**BEER IS GOOD. ****BEER IS GOOD. ****BEER IS GOOD. AND STUFF.**

**That stuff being me thanking you for reading this and goodbye for now.**


	41. The Noah Clan Destruction Event

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

* * *

_Chapter 35: The Noah Clan Destruction Event_

* * *

**AN: Wow. It has been a while, hasn't it? XD Sorry for taking so long to update this, but rest assured, the following chapters and whatnot will be quick to update. Well, they kind of depend on a few things, but right now I'm planning on having at least the next two chapters done by the end of the week and released during it to.**

**So, not much to say. Enjoy?**

* * *

_**SANDVICH TIME WITH MOORE AND WOLF, THE KITCHEN**_

There were two people in the Kitchen of the Noah Mansion, both Noah funnily enough despite what one might assume of the Maid's/Butler's jobs. Albeit, they weren't constructing food for others. Rather, for themselves. One was attempting to make the perfect 'Sandvich', the other, helping with doing so, in fact.

Okay, admittedly one of them was helping make the other food, so shut up.

Jack, more commonly known as Wolf, was the one attempting to make the perfect 'Sandvich', with Moore Hesse as his assistant.

Such an occurrence went a little something like this:

"To start this sandvich off with man meat, ham." *Adds ham* "A dash of pickles." *Adds pickles* "Something, something, and everything nice, and also tomatoes." *Adds tomatoes*

But then things started to get off track.

"Oh, poor Ham, how your love for pickles is forever denied by Tomatoes. Oh no, I think they sent a Turkey assassin!" *Adds Turkey* "Turkey, stop what you are doing! They are in love! Ah, Roast beef, you're a sight for sore eyes." *Adds Roast Beef* "No! Roast beef, what do you think you are doing?! YOU KILLED PICKLES! YOU BASTARD!"

Moore gazed at him as if he were crazy, which for all intents and purposes he probably was, and he simply said right before he tried out the Ultimate Sandvich of Ultimate Destiny (TM), "if I don't survive this, marry me and have my kids so I can tell you I love you in case I die."

Cue midget fighting music as Moore snapped.

As Wolf caught Moore's haymaker, an Akuma entered his kitchen.

"Master Wolf, Master Moore. Lord Millennium wishes to see you both.

"Let me finish my sandvich and I'll be right over." Wolf spoke through gritted as Moore struggled to free herself.

"Lord Millennium was keen to say you were to co-" A tiny needle, the size of a pin, shot out from Wolf's extended arm and pierced the Akuma's forehead.

Fanning out his fingers, the needle broke into two and bisected the Akuma.

"Never interrupt sandvich time." Turning to Moore, he continued. "I'll let you have my sandvich if we can finish this later."

"Fine, but I'll kick your ass later." She stopped struggling so Wolf released her, only to get suckerpunched across the jaw. "It was later."

Groaning, Wolf left to the find the Earl while Moore dug into his lovingly crafted sandvich. (**AN: HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME? I'VE MADE MY MISTAKES, GOT NOWHERE TO RUN, THE NIGHT GOES ON AS I'M FADING AWAY!**)

Entering the dining room, Wolf was shocked to find no one was fighting. "What the hell is going on here?"

"Ah, it's good to see you Wolfy-kun." The Millennium Earl said as he gestured for Wolf to take a seat.

Wolf fell into his seat between Moore and Jasdevi(Or Jasdero because I always confuse them.) "You know I hate that name, Earl."

"But it's so cute, Wolfy-kun." Rhode giggled.

"Not you too!"

Then the Earl quieted everyone to make his announcement.

"I called you all here today because I have something that may help us monumentally in this war. Today," the Earl stood up, Lero in hand, and continued as he struck the ground with him, object slowly emerging with his words, "I introduce you to-" the object come out fully, revealing it to be an Akuma frame. "Akuma, Mark 2! An improved version of the standard Akuma." He raised his index finger. "This doesn't use one soul, the soul of the deceased, oh no, it uses-" his middle finger rose, "-two souls! The one that brings the loved one back, and the brought back loved one! Isn't it marvellous~~?"

"Excuse me Earl." Wolf stood up and coughed into his hand. "But isn't that a downgrade?"

"Don't talk like that to Lord Millennium." Lulubell told him in her monotone voice.

"What do you mean, Wolf-kun?"

Ignoring his nickname, Wolf continued. "Akuma normally only need one soul to work."

The Earl nodded. "Correct."

"But this needs two to function. I know it's a soul wasted either way, so why not try and make an Akuma out of the one who grieves and the one who is brought back. I'm sure you can have the skulls whip up some artificial bodies or just dig up the corpses and re-use them."

Silence was present as Wolf sat back down.

The Earl shattered the silence with choice words. "Very astute Wolf-kun~. Very astute. Although, you seem to be missing the point. The additional soul equates to more power. Albeit, the power still depends upon the level. I believe the best way to explain it is through simple math:

1 times 1 equals 1. However, 2 times 2 equals four. Meaning, that by the time this reaches level two, it becomes as strong as what we estimate a Level 4 to be. Now, do you mind explaining it to me why this wasteful again, Wolf-kun~?"

"Well the original way the soul of the one who called back the dead was never used, so it's a waste. With your method, I suppose it makes use of that soul, but..."

"What?" The Earl asked.

"...what if it gets to level four, becoming the equivalent of a level sixteen, and we can't control it. We are all much stronger than a level four, correct?" Everyone nodded. "But imagine a couple hundred of them all turning against us."

"You forget, Wolfy-kun~~, we have the self-destruct. What could possibly go wrong?" (Thinking thing incident over again, I'm beginning to realise just how stupid that was to say. – _Baron_)(You don't say? – _Adam_)

* * *

_**OTHER PLACE**_

* * *

In the Skull Labs, a Skull was having a rather large predicament. Of course, predicaments came in all shapes and sizes; like a missing chemical formula to harden metal, defective parts, or even, and most ridiculously, a lack of a loyalty matrix, of which made it so that Akuma were loyal to the Earl.

In the Skull's case, all of the above were problems he had. The Akuma that the Earl had was a defective, overly bloodthirsty, non-loyal, killing machine. And on top of all that, what the Skull found as he overturned a stack of machine parts in search of anything else he had lost, was about to make it all worse.  
It had an old prototype reverse processing system; one designed to make it work in reverse order, where after killing a person the Akuma would then become weaker and whatnot, but what it lost was far lower than what it gained. Of course, all Akuma created with this power processor exploded within the hour, their forms not quite capable of handling the energy, and removing all within a several kilometre radius to boot.

The power, of a level 5, was ready willing and able to kill everyone in that room, to summarise.

The Skull sighed. He was probably the only one capable of getting their in time. And also the one who had forgotten all these things.

Woops.

* * *

_**WITH THE AKUMA MARK 2**_

* * *

The Akuma moved, to a slim degree, in its -effectively- bindings.

Wolf hung his head in resignation as the Earl finished saying his prophetic words. "If you'll excuse me, i'm going to go on vacation somewhere far away, like Antarctica."

The Earl was too busy, caught in his dream of the Akuma Mark 2, to notice him leave.

As Wolf was trying to find his way to the Ark gates, he passed the door to the Skull Labs. Against his better judgement he poked his head through the door to see what they were cooking, despite their history.

* * *

**FLASHBACK**

* * *

The Skulls, with their analytical minds and logic, had told Wolf they created the scientifically perfect sandvich. It was the happiest day of his life when they led him into the dining hall, all the other Noah waiting, and sat him down in front of a covered plate. When they removed the cover however, he was horrified.

"What is this?" Wolf fumed as rose from his chair.

"The perfect sandvich. We've ran through 36,783 different equations and formulas and found this to be perfect." The skull nodded enthusiastically.

"Skull."

"Yes?"

"I'm going to build a ^*&%ing bowling alley with the bones of you and you're kind!" Thus began the Skull Massacre, where dozens of Skulls were murdered. It would come to rival Moore's 'Genacoligist Skull' incident. Wolf was true to his word about the bowling alley, and once a month bowls with the skull of the idiot Skull who served him a cheese sandvich that wasn't even grilled.

* * *

**END FLASHBACK**

* * *

Wolf didn't know what to make of what was before him. "What did I just walk in on?"

Inside, a Skull of a name that Wolf didn't know ran to and fro throughout the Laboratory, gathering what appeared to be machine parts.  
Responding to Wolf's question in a frenzied haste, the Skull ran past him shouting far faster than anyone could ever comprehend "can'ttalknowgottodeliverthesepa rtsbeforetheMark2destroysusa ll!"

After internally debating whether he should leave the Earl to his fate, Wolf decided to help fix his mess as per usual because without the Earl, Wolf would be out of the job and get bored fast.

"So if we don't stop this thing, the Ark is destroyed?"

The skull nodded.

"And we have an hour?"

"More like fifty minutes now, but you were close."

"Well that means I don't have enough time to pack. Where is the Akuma mark 2? Right now."

"The Earl had said he was going to present it to the Noah in the dining-" Wolf was already at the door.

"Oh no oh no oh no oh no!" He chanted as the skull followed behind him, bogged down with machinery and parts.

By the time Wolf reached the room, the Akuma was already in a tussle with the Earl, blades keeping the leader of the Noah clan pinned behind his own.

"Kill." It uttered simply, unflinching as the Earl calmly said one command.

"Self-destruct." His command did not happen, and the Earl's eyes went wide upon realising that something was defective about the model. Eyes darting from each corner of the room, he saw the Skull holding the machine parts, and having been the one that created Akuma originally, recognised them immediately. "You forgot to put in the Loyalty Matrix?" The Earl wasn't quite concerned for himself at that moment; rather the family, HIS family, which were incapable of standing up to such an Akuma. However, the distraction the 1st apostle accidently put his attention into was long enough for the Akuma to cop a blow on the side of his head. Unconsciousness followed instantly.

The Akuma, blades for arms still gleaming with both bloodlust and out of the box packaging level of newness, turned its attention to the recoiling Rhode and holding it in terrified Tykki. After all, if it could actually knock the Earl unconscious, then what hope did they have?

Wolf turned to his least favourite siblings. "Rhode, trap it in a pocket dimension!"

"Okay." She said as she tried but failed repeatedly.  
"Excuse me, Noah-sama," The Skull tapped Wolf on the shoulder, "but the Akuma mark 2 can't dream so Rhode's ability is useless against it."

"Tykki, rip out the creature's power core using your ability to Choose!"

Tyki tried to act like he wasn't about to shit himself a second ago. He ran at the creature, only to be batted away by the side of its blade.

"Don't tell me." Wolf points behind himself at the Skull. "Tykki's ability doesn't work on innocence AND dark matter."

"Correct. I believe you kids would say 'we're boned'." Skeleton joke aside, the situation was grim. Wolf only had one option left.

"Moore, help me carry the Earl once the Akuma is distracted. Everyone else," Wolf clapped his hands together and created a thick fog. "SCATTER!"

Grunting with effort, Moore and Wolf carried the morbidly obese Millennium Earl. "Do you think we lost it?" Moore asked.

"Unlikely," The skull answered. "It is most likely hunting us down as we speak. I'm amazed it hasn't caught up to us yet."

"Shut up and help us carry the Earl. We have to hold out till we get to the kitchen."

"Sorry Noah-sama, but I have to carry these parts." the Skull mumbled and trailed further behind them.

"Wolf, we aren't getting another sandwich!" Moore growled.

"That's not why! We need smelling salt. If we can wake the Earl, he can restrain the Akuma mark 2 long enough for someone to install the loyalty matrix back into the thing before it blows the Ark to smithereens!"

"Why not just send it through an Ark gate or Rhode's door?" Moore asked.

"Do you want to be the bait that draws that things attention?" That shut Moore up. Wolf, Moore and the Skull turned the corner leading into the hall with the kitchen when they ran into something terrifying.

The Akuma Mark 2, in all its glory, was before them.

"Skull, get the salt from the emergency cabinet while I hold off the Akuma mark 2!" Wolf pointed at a cabinet labelled 'IN CASE OF FAMILY STUTIPIDY, OR IT'S MONDAY' before the Akuma lunged at him. Creating a pair of frozen gauntlets, Wolf redirected the blow so it only nicked his side, but the blow still knocked him back.

"Kill." It repeated in a seemingly monotone voice.  
Wolf clenched his fists, making the gauntlets shatter into large splinters of ice.

"Bon appetite." he roared, sending the shards at the Akuma and charging a foot behind them.

* * *

_**AT A PLACE WITH SALT**_

* * *

"Damn it, he told me it was in the emergency cupboard, but none of these cupboards have the words 'EMERGENCY' on it." Was it possible, God face palmed.

"I know. That's what makes it difficult to find it." Replied Moore, before things got as one would imagine more aggressive. "SO STOP STATING DAMN STATEMENTS OF FACT AND FIND IT ALREADY!" Like someone had lit a match under his ass, he sped up his searching process, which became nothing more than mining through cupboard after cupboard.

* * *

_**WOLF**_

* * *

Was sent flying across the kitchen as his ice shard charge proved futile. He twisted in mid-air to avoid the hanging pans, but could not avoid the deep fryer (As the Akuma made great leaps and bounds in cooking technology, they already invented it, along with the beta Akuma that would later become Gordon Ramsay). Reaching out he flung the still bubbling oil onto the floor and avoided horribly burning his ass.

The Akuma standing over him was not going to be as forgiving.

"Kill."

"We get it! Dang, is this what we put the Black Order through, because I almost feel sorry for them." Wolf rolled to the side as the Akuma smashed the fryer. "Now soak your head!" Wolf struck out with the oil on the floor, with little effect on the Akuma.

* * *

_**ALSO AT KITCHEN PLACE**_

* * *

Moore gave the situation a once over before resuming her and the Skull's seeking, all results still turning up futile. (Strangely, they found a sheet detailing plans for 'Attack Plan Delta Alpha'; whatever that is) Sweat beads bearing down, Moore climbed desperately through cupboard after yet another cupboard, wondering how it was possible for a Kitchen to actually have so many cupboards. The Skull was experiencing similar problems; namely the repeated not what they needed encounter between them and the cupboards.

However, such a situation didn't last long without another complication. That complication being the Skull finally finding the Cupboard...

"Hey! I found it!" Skull proudly displayed the bottle, shortly before a product of battle, which being a loose ice spike, stabbed the bottle of Smelling Salt with enough force to effectively vaporise it, and knock the cupboard behind it over. And unto the Skull, of who groaned in agony shortly before passing out.

Pretty damn Ironic considering the circumstances when you think about it.

Wolf fought the Mark 2, driving it back but never gaining an edge on it. Moore scavenged the rubble of destroyed containers and spilled Smelling Salt, careful not to directly breathe it in to prevent accidently knocking herself unconscious.

Observing the situation from afar would yield these visual results:

Wolf and the Akuma inside a giant cloud of Anime fighting dust, Chibi Moore moving too quickly for her arms to be textured properly and therefore where just a blur, and the Skull's dreaming bubble being apparent. Said bubble was of the Skull whipping the Millennium Earl to haul him faster around the place, as he was his slave. (RIDE LIKE THE WIND, MILLENNIUM EYE! – _Adam_)(You're finally coming out of the closet. I'm so proud of you. *Sniff* - _Baron_)(I'm sorry, what was that? I couldn't hear you over the sounds you were making with George Lucas just now. – _Adam_)(Same with you and the man you're riding. – _Baron_)(Man? How could you say that about your own mother?! – _Adam_)

"KEEP HIM OFF OF ME FOR A LITTLE WHILE LONGER WOLF! I ALMOST FOUND IT, NO THANKS TO YOU!" Moore shouted.

"A little longer! We only have-" Wolf looked at the Skull's dream bubble, "-under twenty minutes before it blows up! Forget your nails and find the salt or am burning your stash of playgirl magazines!"

"You wouldn't!"

He caught Akuma's blade with his bare hands. "Wouldn't I?"

Cue muted awkward-ness as fight continues.

"...Touché." Replied eventually Moore. "However," she began evilly, "you do that and I annihilate all forms of Wheat in this HOUSE!"

Wolf slowly turned from the Akuma and gave Moore the world's greatest Excalibur face. "If you so much as sniff a mouldy slice of white bread without my permission you will wake up in between Devit and Jasdero, and someone won't be wearing pants!"

Moore almost got to the level of Wolf's Excalibur face, but stopped herself "...not even you could do that."

"BITCH I KILL PEOPLE."

Anyway, so Moore is searching, Wolf is fighting, the Akuma is bearing down, and the Skull is passed out. One of those situations changes, however. That one being Moore's; she finds it, and quickly shoves it improperly into the nose of the Millennium Earl. Or what functions as a nose for him, anyway. That doesn't exactly work, hence 'improperly'.

Cue her frantically shoving the Smelling Salt jar into the Earl's nose repeatedly, and it gradually escalating into aggressively so.

"Moore, as much as I love seeing the man who brought us all together and gave us a family brutal beaten by a brutish British, albeit slightly attractive, copper, just HOLD THE SALT UNDER HIS NOSE AND WAIT A SECOND!" Wolf called out.

Moore, angered and veering towards letting it out on Wolf, did as he commanded grudgingly. With the cap still on, she didn't see any results, and immediately began shoving the Earls' brains in, quite literally when you think about it, upon becoming fed up with the ordeal yet again.

In his frustration, Wolf abandoned his fight with the Akuma, walked over to Moore, swiped the bottle from her and removed the cap. "Do you see now, Ms. puts the circle through the square hole?"

Grumpily crossing her arms, and completely oblivious to the Akuma, Moore retorted with not just a huff, but a sentence and an insult. "I don't need _your_ help, Furry." The Akuma neared, reciting its mantra indefinitely or so it appeared.

"Excuse me Akuma, trying to give this girl the second grade education she never got." Wolf spoke politely.

"EDUCATION!? I'LL EDUCATE YOU ON A BRIEF HISTORY OF PAIN WITH MY FIST!" And so, via blaring speed she struck out with intention of flattening his head.

Wolf ducked under the blow which nailed the Akuma standing behind him, knocking it back. "Yolo!" Then straightened himself as though nothing happened. "I think we should be serious now. Moore, please grab the Earl while I take the skull and Akuma parts."

Moore, eye twitching with very much told fury, was bordering on continuing the fight but after realising the proximity of the Akuma to herself, complied _very_ quickly. Taking the contents of the Smelling Salt jar and pouring them straight into the Earl's nose, she worked as fast as her hands could move and then some.

Wolf was too busy lifting the sleeping Skull to reprimand his sister. "The salt should only take a minute at the most to work. We'll keep running till the Earl wakes up and then fight it."

"Where do we go?" Moore grunted under the weight of the Earl.

"The streets! I want to be close to an Ark gate in case we can't stop it."

Nodding and prodding the Earl's face to see if the Salt had worked yet, Moore followed Wolf after ducking a blow designated for her neck.  
They ran, avoiding the Mark 2 as though it was giving Death a piggyback. (Ride like the wind, Akuma-eye! – _Death_)(Oh come on, we already made that joke! – _Adam_)

"So Moore, what kind of things does Lulubell like?" Wolf began randomly.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Moore demanded.

"I mean does she like chocolates, flowers, or long walks on the beach?" He asked, as he dodged a blow that would have crippled a slower man.

"I'm going to ignore the fact you are asking all this while we are being chased by a rogue Akuma and ask you, ahem, WHY DO YOU THINK I KNOW?!" She retorted, barely avoiding a slash to the head.

"I know you woman have secret meetings about that stuff. Just like Bill Crosby and Oprah meet in the statue of liberty to plot the future of the black community." He side jumped an impaling attack.

"You've got no chance, but if you must know, she likes bad boys who completely ignore her, and when they do talk, it's to insult her or her Akuma. She really enjoys when you drink milk in front of her but don't offer her any. She's kind of a masochist."

"Thanks Moore. That will help a lot."

If that doesn't set you straight I don't know what will, Moore thought wickedly.

Like I'm that stupid, Wolf thought. I would never drink milk.

Sadly, their luck ended abruptly, in the form of a…

"Dead end." Moore said gravely. She turned to Wolf, and said as the Akuma became closer, "that Ark gate. I don't know where it leads, but our only chance now since the Earl hasn't woken up-" Moores' eyes averted as she realised that it might have been her fault that he was more unconscious than earlier, "-is the door."

"Moore, take Skull and Earl and get against the wall."

"Don't order me around, runt!"

Wolf gave her a look that screamed 'bitch I eat people' and she quickly pressed herself against the wall with the Earl behind her and Skull shielding her front.

"If I don't make it through this, I want you all to know I loved you guys like family, except Lulubell, because then what I want to do with her would be incest." (**AN: Nope, Wincest. ;) **)

"Are we having a moment or you just being a pervert?" Moore questioned.

"A moment! Now for the Akuma." Wolf smirked at the approaching machine. "Time to become an American hero!"

"We aren't American."

"If I die, you are so haunted!" He snapped before facing the Akuma, serious. He pulled back his fist and focused on creating an ice column behind the Akuma.

"Fist of the North Star!"

Wolf thrust his fist forward, the column surging forward with it. It smashed into the back of the Akuma and propelled it towards Wolf. "This is going to hurt." Wolf thought as he jumped onto the speeding column and Akuma. He had to maintain the column until he got through to the other side or the Akuma wouldn't be sent through. They passed through the threshold and came out in a fairly lavish kitchen, although not as good as Wolf's. Jerry, as this was the Black Orders kitchen, watched in horror.

"If you can't take the heat, go to someone else's kitchen!" Wolf gave one last zinger before the Akuma began to convulse violently. "Oh god it's going to blow!" Jerry ran and jumped over the counter, repeating that to everyone else in the cafeteria, and the Noah thawed out the ice column blocking the Ark gate and jumped through as wave of heat nipped at his heels. He landed badly on his shoulder but managed to shove another ice column into the gate before the blast could follow him through.

"Is it over?" Moore asked, still against the wall.

"Not yet." (It never ends. – _Adam_)

* * *

_**IN THE BLACK ORDER KITCHEN**_

* * *

Jerry prayed to God that the blast wouldn't destroy his kitchen, or at least his fridge since it contained all of the Mitarashi Dangos, Allen's favourite food.

If someone were to write the passage the same one would the bible, here's how it would have turned out:

"And so the lord said unto Jerry, "FUCK YOU", and by a heavenly light the fridge was destroyed. It appearedeth the Skull failed even in his failure, as the blasteth was nowhere neareth as big as he said it wouldeth be. And soeth, a righteous funeral for two, Apostle Allen Walker and owner of fridge Jerry, was had for the kitchen utensileth. The endeth, excepteth for the lordeth, of who is awesometh, (Geddit ye followers of Christ?) of who is eternaleth, and other things holy. Eth." _Theth Baddesteth Motherfucketh__, 69:666_

* * *

**~(SORT OF) OMAKE (THINGY)~**

* * *

Wolf grasped the Skull's head as he prepared to throw it down the bowling alley, this head being of the Skull who double failed with the Akuma Mark 2 via lacking the correct parts and not even constructing it properly to allow it to explode with maximum efficiency.

Right before throwing, the bowling ball said "kill me."

To holder of said ball retorted "later." And cast it off, into the lane, to continue playing Bowling.

The End

An interesting individual camouflaged as the bench snuck up to the type writer, and added a simple mark. (You know, you really have to lock the windows. – _Baron_)

The End?

* * *

**~END OF (SORT OF) OMAKE (THINGY)~**

* * *

**AN: Does the chapter feel strange in places? Why is simple:**

**This wasn't entirely written by me. No, I'd say roughly 40, 30 percent ish of the chapter was actually written by:**

**DUN DUN DUN**

**Lonewolf684. Yep. 3 to 4 tenths of this was written by someone else. It literally took me two hours to whip this up; copy and pasting from PMs between me and Lonewolf kind of has that effect. :P So, yeah. That happened.**

**In case you didn't catch what I said, depending on how things go, the next chapter or two should be released by the end of the week. After that, I don't know. School will be starting up again for me (Ugh) so that I imagine will take up a bit of my time. I'm sorry and all about how I kind of fell out of touch with writing during the holidays, despite how I said it would allot me more time to do it. Truly, I am. :(**

**BUT, BUT I SAY! I will not let School deter me, it will only mean slower updates; that's it. I WILL FINISH THIS STORY NO MATTER HOW LONG IT TAKES ME! AND I SAY THAT NOT LYING THIS TIME AS I SAID THE SAME THING FOR INFINITE POSSIBLITIES!**

**As for the 'awesometh' thing, say it out loud. Pronounce 'meth' as one word. That's it, soon enough it should dawn on you. Hopefully. I find it obscure my self, and I sodding made the joke, so I don't know it'll turn out.**


	42. Seeds Are Sown (Also this is 8888 words)

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

* * *

_Chapter 36: Seeds Are Sown_

* * *

**AN: WAZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- readers? (I cut the wazup short so that I could continue it in the end chapter AN :P ) I did say I was going to update this story before the week was over, but I never actually expected, personally, for it to be tomorrow. :P So, peeps, I hope you enjoy this 8 thousand word plus update. I enjoyed writing it. :P**

**Now, LETS ROCK!**

* * *

_**THE MILLENNIUM EARL AND RHODE, SHORTLY AFTER ADAM PHOENIX MILLENNIUM'S FIRST TORTURE SESSION**_

"_What is your overall assessment of Adam Phoenix Millennium, My Child?"_

_In the room in which they both resided in was a miscellaneous one; if one's attention was taken from them to it, then they were a fool for it lacked any real form of substance besides the physical kind._

_Therefore, Rhode's objection to stillness caught all eyes most certainly._

"_Assessment? Well~~…" How to put that oh so fun to torture teenager Adam~~? She couldn't say he had a will of iron; he screamed quite mercilessly. Nor did he ever divulge anything besides a remark however, so she had to give him _some_ credit, no matter how limited. The best way that she could fathom, was, simply…_

"_He's strange." Explained Rhode. "I don't mean our family strange, Millennie, I mean _strange_ strange. _Innocence_ strange. He seems to be unexplainable, through and through."_

_The Earl mulled over her words with a thoughtful gesture and an averted gaze. "I see. What of his memories then; what could you discern of the child's past?"_

_Shifting, and speaking frankly, she replied "that's one of the reasons he's strange Millennie. I couldn't access his memories. It was like a barrier was erected between his mind and his memories; preventing him from seeing them clearly."_

"_Interesting~~~…" Mused the Earl, slinking into his seat. "I suppose Innocence could be responsible, however why Innocence would choose to supress his memories I don't know. This is, yet again, an unexplainable phenomenon on the Innocence's part." His head tilted, skyward. "What if he's the accommodator of…?" The Earl questioned himself, prior to shaking his head. "Not important. What _is _important is what you think of him. You've told me an assessment; now tell me what you _really _think of him. What does the look in his eyes tell you? The way he walks, the way he talks, what does everything he does tell you?"_

_Rhode, now adopting her own mock thinking posture, responded easily. "He hates humanity alright, Millennie. Almost as much as you, in fact. Although, he currently feels guilty for harbouring so much hate in his heart for humanity when it's himself he should be angry at. Something bears down on his mind, but I don't know what it is. And, something that is also important about him is the bloodlust that emanates from him. The only time I've ever felt it that strong is from Tykki when someone hurts me, meaning he's liable to explode any second. It's a miracle he can control it with no visual sign of struggling at all."_

_Touching his chin, the Earl nodded. "I see, My Child." Tapping Lero against the floor, the Earl began another sentence. "Say, My Child, I have a question to ask."_

_Blinking confoundedly, said child responded simply. "What is it, Millennie?"_

"_What would you say to having this child in our family? Hm?"_

* * *

_**FLASHBACK END**_

* * *

_**?**_

_A lake. Blue. Too pure. Black moon. A beautiful colour._

_A sky. Red. A beautiful colour. White moon. Too pure._

_Chair. Chains. Individual. Bound._

_Blackness. Approaching. Red eyes._

_My face. Blue eyes. Bound. Chains. Chair._

_Nothing I could do. What DSP would say._

T_**H**_E T_**I**_M_**E**_ F_**O**_RM_**Y **_G_**R**_A_**N**_DR_**E**_V_**E**_A_**L**_I_**N**_GI_**S **_U_**P**_O_**N **_U_**S**_. T_**H**_E B_**L**_O_**O**_D O_**F **_T_**H**_E O_**T**_H_**E**_RH_**A**_L_**F**_B_**R**_E_**E**_DW_**I**_L_**L **_B_**E **_O_**U**_RO_**P**_E_**N**_I_**N**_GA_**C**_T_**.**_

_Red eyes. Closer. My face. Further._

I_**N**_T_**E**_R_**E**_S_**T**_I_**N**_G_**. **_I_**T**_ A_**P**_P_**E**_A_**R**_SW_**E**_ A_**R**_EN_**O**_TT_**H**_EO_**N**_L_**Y **_P_**R**_E_**S**_E_**N**_C_**E **_I_**N **_O_**U**_RM_**I**_N_**D**_.

_Footsteps. Person. Woman. Abomination. Figure. Front. Staring at Red eyes. Close to each other._

"_**Damn right you aren't the only one. He belongs to us. His body is already ours as well as half of his soul. You only own his mind." **__Words. Abomination's words. Female. Certainly._

_Red eyes approaching. Figure standing. No movement. Not flinching. Not wavering._

H_**E **_W_**I**_L_**L **_B_**E**_L_**O**_N_**G**_ T_**O **_U_**S **_S_**O**_O_**N **_E_**N**_O_**U**_G_**H**_, P_**H**_E_**L**_I_**X**_.

"_**Do not call us by a name we had seven thousand years ago. Besides, that was back when we had a male form. Or, they thought we had a male form. Sexist original Exorcists…"**_

T_**H**_E_**N **_W_**H**_A_**T **_D_**O **_W_**E **_C_**A**_L_**L **_Y_**O**_U_**, **_I_**F **_N_**O**_T P_**H**_E_**L**_I_**X**_?

"_**What he calls me. B-"**_

* * *

**_THWACK!_**

* * *

"Ow~~." I moaned, rubbing my head and coming up with a moist hand.

The red kind of moist.

Upon staring at my hand like it was the Devil, which it could be for how red it was, I felt the urge to pass out from desire strangely show itself in force at the back of my mind and at the front of my chest.

A taste. A lack of will. A lick. A lack of determination.

A simple motion with complex consequences.

Using will I didn't even knew I had (Baron wasted no time in telling me that it was because I was a Noah that I had the ability to control my bloodlust to such a degree, to which I told him shut up and use the Television I gave him. – _Adam_) in me and the depths my soul, I relentlessly shoved the urge into a tiny little box, or effectively so.

A sweat had built itself high, and came low over my face in the pursuit of pushing the desire down and into my suffering soul. Breathing out both a sigh of relief and relent, I ran a reluctant digit across my forehead, determined as something to do to locate the source of blood.

Quickly I found a cut, and Stigmata, located in my forehead. Why I was cut, I didn't know, but what I soon found to be more prevalent was why I was in the current confinements.

In short; I was in a box. A big, wooden man shaped box.

In other words, a _coffin._

That's probably _buried._

With me _in it._

Whilst I'm _still alive._

Damnit, now I want to listen to the song again. And now I'm reminded of how I never really used the internet all that much. An Exorcist's job was demanding, after all. And usually I listened to music when I didn't have a mission, although it typically went haywire quite quickly whenever I did.

Case in point; I ended up in my underwear air guitar-ing and singing the song 'Love Gun' by KISS at midnight. Whilst the room was on fire. (What can I say; I have a flair for the dramatic, and also a recurring habit of passing out.)

Anyway, moving beyond me being a total baller, I pressed my hands up against the coffin, conducting a miniature private test to observe whether or not I could open it.

Seconds after finding that I most certainly was under at least a couple feet of dirt, I cursed in a compulsive manner "F*CKITY F*CKITY F*CKITY F*CKITY F*CKITY SH*T BRICKS IN A HOT JESUS OVEN WITH LLAMA'S AND MICHAEL F*CKING JACKSON! AND THE POPE, F*CK HIM TOO! F*CK HIM FOR MAKING THE BLACK ORDER, F*CK JESUS FOR EXECUTIVE PRODUCE-ING AMERICA, F*CK GOD, IN THE ASS, WITH A HATCHET, THAT'S ON FIRE, FOR HAVING THIS SCENARIO AS PART OF HIS MOTHERF*CKING PLAN, F*CK ABRAHAM LINCOLN FOR BEING ALIVE AND FREEING THE SLAVES, AND F*********CKKKKKKKKKK YOOOOOOOOOOU GEORGE WASHINGTON FOR F*CKING INVENTING SLASH INNOVATING AMERICA! OR WHO SUPPORTS WORDS WITH 'IN' IN THE NAME F*CKING EACH OTHER IN THE ASS!" Taking a deep breath I screamed out the last F word I thought I'd say. "FLIPPITY FLOPPIN' FREAKIN' MAGICIN' SUCK MY D*CK, WORLD!" Well, the last F word's' and sentence I thought I'd say, if you want to be a smartass.

Anyway, being in a coffin and panicking that I was in afore mentioned death box, buried alive and did I mention in a coffin, was leading me to take desperate measures.

Cue flaming explosive to blow my way out.

"My knowledge of science is pretty limited but I do know the concussive force from this will probably kill me. Well, chance is better than certainty, so here goes-" I attached the satchel, as it was flame C4, to the lid, "nothing."

With a flaming detonator, I said my prayers to whatever higher power there was in this world, namely Jesus since he's awesome, and with a fright filled heart I thumbed the trigger.

Only for it to not work.

"Oh, right. Flames require Oxygen. The Oxygen required for this thing to explode is more than what is accessible right now." I 'duh'ed and sent my trains of thought in all directions, seeking an answer desperately.

I came across one in the Bruce Lee department.

"Hm. One inch punch is enough for Bruce Lee to knock a man over, so three inches from an Exorcist Noah effectively half breed should do the trick." And so, with might that was more than likely influenced by the fear welled up within me, I struck the coffin lid repeatedly, and gave up after approximately forever.

"Well that was a waste of everything." Cue thinking pose, as best as you can do in a coffin though, as I thought of another plan.

With a snap of my fingers a thought came to my mind. "My flames are only bound to physical objects such as guns, swords, knives, etcetera due to that being an effective medium. But, if I simply went with a flaming cylinder that pierced through instead of something like that…" Deciding with the thought "f*ck it" running rampant in my mind, I went with afore mentioned shape conjuring around my fingertips.

Via a strong shove, the flame cylinders rose above and beyond the call of dirt and into the air beyond. (God bless those cylinders. They're real A(sym)metrical heroes. – _Adam_) Catching the load falling down in a perfectly(ish) cylindrical fashion, they soon went sailing into the air as raw flame, raw _power _flooded out of my hand and into the world. The effect was geyser-esq; the ground exploded with fire as if someone had set an Oil reserve ablaze, and the area surrounding was bathed in orange light and same coloured flame shortly before becoming ash covered as the flames settled and stopped burning. From this event, the hole in the ground turned geyser had morphed again, taking the shape of a hole many times its normal size.

A hole I could most certainly climb out of.

A hand, followed by a second one, grasped the edge, heaved a torso with legs and a head over it, and breathed out a sigh of utter satisfaction and relief.

"Whew. For a minute there, thought I was going to die in that thing. Least if I die, then I'll die with fresh air in my lungs, and not dirt from my flawed attempts at escape." I spoke, running a hand through my hair. It was completely uncombed and dishevelled. What I get for lying in a coffin. In…

I did a brief visual sweep of the area; sure enough, I had been buried in the backyard of the Noah Mansion.

"What." Of course, me being someone who doesn't let shock show and instead converts it into anger at one slice for every f*ck you put out, said something's. "WHAT! I DIED, PRESUMABLY, AND THEY F*CKING BURIED ME LIKE I WAS THEIR DOG LUCKY? WHAT THE F*CK? WHAT THE F*CK? NO! I REFUSE! I'M GOING TO BURY MYSELF IN A MOTHERF*CKING CEMETARY, THANK YOU, LIKE A NORMAL PERSON! AS NORMAL AS A LITERAL MOTHERF*CKER WHO HAS INNOCENCE, ANYWAY!" I announced, shaking my fist angrily at the Mansion. "YOU HEAR ME YOU RICH MOTHERF*CKERS! I SHIT ON YOUR F*CKING BACKYARD AND RAISE YOU A F*CKING CEMETARY! F*CK YOU, F*CK YOUR FATHER, F*CK YOUR UNCLE, F*CK YOUR AUNT, F*CK YOUR MOTHER OH WAIT I DID LAST NIGHT NEVERMIND, F*CK YOUR DOG OH WAIT YOUR MOTHER DID LAST NIGHT, F*CK YOUR PETS WITH MY MASSSIVE THROBBING DIC-TIONARY! F*CK 'EM WITH GOD DAMN BOOKS, AND COOKS, AND LOOKS, AND HOOKS, AND ROOKS, AND NOOKS, AND KOOKS, AND SOOKS AND WHATEVER THE F*CK RHYMES WITH THAT SHIT! SUCK MY D*CK HO'S, I'M LEAVING THIS F*CKING PIECE OF SHIT! F*CK, _YOU! _YES, I'M F*CKING POINTING AT YOU JESUS! YOU LET ME DOWN MAN! I THOUGHT WE WERE BRUDDAS MAN! BRUDDAS! PLUS FIFTEEN F*CKING RESPECT FROM SATAN, ASSHOLE!"

Releasing the rest of my breath in a sigh, and then deeply regaining it, I found my gaze drifting to the hole/coffin I found former vacancy in.

What the hell happened to make me end up there?

* * *

_**A BACK OF FLASH**_

* * *

_Saying no one else had come to Adam's room after the Skull's premature attempt at going to Moon would be a lie. The machines were the only thing keeping anyone that just so happened to walk by from taking a peak at the boy, assuming because of send devices of Steel that he was 'safe' so to speak. Indeed, Adam undergoing the changes that he was worried some; and others not. Specifically, the Earl. He was pleading with all his heart that nothing would happen to the newest family member, as he cherished his family so._

_Strangely, Tykki had checked in once or twice (Once when the Skull was there, IE before he became Apollo 11, twice when he wasn't) for reasons even he didn't quite understand._

_Sure, the kid was obnoxious. And annoying. And arrogant. And rather stupid sometimes and a whole host of other assorted things that Tykki acquired a headache from thinking about, and yet…he still found himself seeing how the kid went. No matter how much Tykki may have disliked the kid, he was family, and if the Twins were proof of anything, then it would be he accepted his family for who they. No matter what._

_Admittedly, even for him it was still a challenge to accept someone of who you had the urge to kill 24/7, and not just because of his Innocence._

_But, digressed Tykki; I guess he's just growing on me. Similar to the mould at the back of the fridge, he's hard as hell to get rid of and eventually you just give up. He smirked, shuffled his cards once more and continued his thought train. Maybe he's more similar to the Millennium Earl than he thinks. He already acts like a buffoon. If he continues eating like he does, then he'll end up with the Marshmallow body of the Earl too. Might even be able to make a coin or two from it. 'Tykki Mykk's Weight Loss Plan. If it doesn't help you, then you're doing it wrong.' Hm. Could work, could work. It'll need a little revision though, maybe something like- eh?_

_His slogan isn't 'eh' by the way, he was just interrupted._

_Tykki's weight loss plan, designed for two, came to a screeching halt in its conception stage whilst Tykki simultaneously observed Adam's moving body and thick beads of sweat. Blinking, Tykki turned the boy's head over, and saw the Black substance spreading across his face. With a not even in the slightest contained fury, Tykki's Noah side fully controlled him for the briefest possible moment in an attempt to destroy the Innocence it blatantly sensed. His hand withdrew however upon realising what he was about to do, that being crush the boy's head, and with eye's copying the wind Tykki observed for help. Groaning slightly, he decided that first and foremost he was going to have to wake the boy up. Whatever this was, he decided that at least a partly awake annoying Adam was better than a sleeping non-annoying Adam._

"_Oi, wake up Boy. Wake up." Said Tykki, hurriedly, as he shook the Boy's frame._

_The amount of responses given was the same as the amount of shits given._

"_Damn." Tykki mumbled under his breath. "He isn't waking up, no matter how hard I shake him." Deciding he had no better options, after trying to both bitch slap him awake and head-butt him, both of which Tykki thought were probably warranted towards the young asshole, he left in search of someone who actually knew what they were doing._

_Oi, Boy, thought the Noah of pleasure somewhat fearfully as he approached one of the Laboratories, don't do anything stupid whilst I'm gone, alright?_

_Adam, sleeping, however anything but peaceful giving the movements of his form, was unaware of the process going on within his own body._

_Or within his own skin, to be more specific._

_At the cellular level, it was war. The Black was murdering the white in droves, nay, more than droves. Droves described too little; genocide is far more apt. The Black tore into the white with simple and entirely vicious intentions and complete aggression with a side of ferocity, pushing further and further towards the other end of Adam's body._

_From a logical perspective, one would think that the Innocence, the Black, would be spreading evenly from the right to the left. However, those that believed such were wrong; the Innocence had gripped his face exclusively, not dividing and conquering anywhere else yet. The process in of itself was asymmetrical; the waves themselves pushed further in one place and dipped in others, but were at a general consensus in that fact that it was moving forward with savagery unknown to most._

_Tykki arrived at the Laboratories within an indescribable amount of time left to spare, in terms of between him and the Darkness spreading across Adam's whole body reaching the left half of his face._

"_Oi, Skull!" Called out Tykki, getting one of the working Skull's attention, of who soon became a walking in Tykki's direction Skull._

"_Yes, Master Noah?" Spoke the Skull, upon reaching a short distance away from him._

"_The Boy, Adam, something's happening to him. His Innocence is acting up. You have to come with me." Retorted Tykki desperately, gesturing for the Skull to follow._

_The Skull, with a nod and what could pass for a blank face for his kind, kept up behind Tykki, reaching Adam's room in no time._

_In the time Tykki had run to get help though, Adam's Innocence was doing a drastic direct change to his physiology._

_When World War 3, the one between the Black Innocence and the white skin cells, had concluded in terms of his face, it had begun spreading frightfully fast onto the left half of him._

_Or more specifically, over his heart._

_The Black dug deep; fighting through wave upon wave of tissue, muscle, and organs, to reach every possible inch of his body both externally and internally. The metamorphosis was a mystical, magical thing, but terrifyingly true and seriously straining. Straining due to his breathing and heart rate having astronomically increased in mere seconds to support the Innocence's charge, and as any doctor could tell you, a 200 hundred and an above heart rate is on a race track to cardiac arrest._

_Whilst the Innocence went in, Adam went out so to speak. The feeling of having his entire body immolated effectively, being destroyed and rebuilt within seconds of each other, was quite blatantly soul breaking, and in a wrong state of a still only partially awake mind Adam invoked his Innocence and went full out annihilating everything surrounding him._

_Case in point, Tykki and co. weren't able to access the room due to Adam's flames billowing relentlessly outwards, filling the room with eternal hellfire._

"_My Earl, what's going on in there?" Questioned the Skull, of who was busy shielding his face from the vicious fire._

_Tykki, now seriously out of options, told the Skull "get out of here. You'll just get destroyed if you try to get inside. You need to tell Rhode about this; she's the only one who could go inside without being seriously injured by Adam's Innocence." The other servant of Dark Matter, comprised entirely of bones, magic and clothes, stood still as the gravity of the situation placed itself firmly into his mind, before shooting off in a direction of what seemed to be random choice to find the Millennium Earl._

_The Pleasure of Noah, of who's only choice was either to go inside and suffer serious damage, or to wait outside and do nothing, felt partially trapped._

_Damnit Boy, why'd you have to go and do something so stupid? Thought Tykki. Now I'm going to have to do something stupid._

_Taking another glance around himself, and seeing that Rhode and the Skull hadn't come, nor had anyone strangely, and one inside the room of which appeared to be getting worse by the second, Tykki stole a breath and opened the door._

_The effect was instantaneous; the fire should have blasted Tykki through the same hole as the Skull of who became Apollo 11 for a time, and continued its escapade through the hole and seemingly lessening the fire inside of the room._

_Keyword being _should.

_Tykki didn't get an education, truly, so his ability to understand fire was limited. There was of course the universal 'water beats fire' rule of which he knew and has for quite some time, and the also obvious 'fire bad' rule of which he knew first hand for reasons that were personal, thank you._

_So, he wasn't quite able to understand that opening a door to a room filled with flames would cause them to spill out violently._

_However, what he most certainly lacked in mind he made up for in body, and with superhuman (Well, duh) reaction time and speed he used his choose ability to seemingly disappear into the ground, and reappear several feet away._

"_Well, that was close." Said Tykki, upon noticing the singed part of his Top Hat._

_Damn, this was my favourite too. Thought the owner of said Top Hat. Eh, can't be helped. Thought Tykki also, after readjusting the charred Hat and observing the situation before him._

_Staring at the jet of fire still firing away into the outside world via the hole in the wall, Tykki ended up realising that perhaps going in the front wasn't the best idea. Therefore, he opted for a different route, more specifically a route of which only he could take._

_Through the floor._

_Utilising his choose ability, he fell through the floor, and reappeared underneath Adam's bed. Okay, now what? Thought Tykki, upon realising what would happen if he tried to take Adam with him. Tykki a la flambé, thought afore mentioned delicious piece of food, or potentially anyway._

_I can't just leave the Boy, no matter how tempting that thought is. Realised the brother of Sheryl Kamelot. I can try and wake him, although I'm not sure how that would quite work. Shaking him doesn't work. Hitting him doesn't work. Hell, I could punt him and it, wouldn't, work…an ingenious, at least for Tykki that is, came across afore mentioned Adam Hater's mind._

_Choosing for his neck to not touch the bed, Tykki's head came through at just the smallest amount necessary, and whispered into Adam's ear "Moore is coming for you~~."_

_Even an incapable of understanding the situation Adam knew what a 'You're Gonna Die' threat sounded like, namely those involving Moore anyhow._

_The idea of shocking Adam awake backfired in the most extreme way possible; the ferocity of the flames increased as Adam's unconscious did likewise, and if it was possible they gained face in the form of a hound._

_A Hellhound's more like it. Thought Tykki, upon ducking back underneath the bed. Now what do I do? My idea just made things _worse. _Still can't abandon him, no matter how much that idea appeals to me. What do I-_

_Tykki's thoughts fell over and died upon seeing someone else walk into the room from his limited view of the door, a very familiar, feminine and young pair of legs belonging to another member of his family being part of said person._

_Tykki may not be smart, but he recognised _those _pair of knee high socks when he saw them._

_Rhode Kamelot had entered the building._

_Or room, to be more precise._

"_Adam!" Exclaimed Rhode, concern laced in eye syllable. "Wake up!" Rhode's body was at present being annihilated by the sheer intensity and atrociously ferocious fire protruding from Adam's whole body, and yet Rhode couldn't seem to care less about her physical state._

"_Already tried that." Proclaimed Tykki from underneath the bed. Afore mentioned male Noah, with a simple few strides, went from being beneath the bed to standing as close as possible to Rhode, that being outside but with a partial visual on her. "You can't wake him up by calling out to him. Hell, you couldn't even wake the boy up by hitting him; I already tried that. Repeatedly, even."_

"_Did you have to hurt my toy?" Inquired Rhode, with a pout._

"_Now's not the time. As much as I don't want you to, you'll have to go in there, more so, and enter his mind. Wake him up. Do somethi-"_

Whoosh. _With the wind, went the fire._

_There was no more fire; and no more life beyond Rhode's, inside the room. Rhode and Tykki's vision went from each other, to the eerily unmoving body of Adam._

_Rhode reached him first, Tykki second despite his normally abnormal speed, and was also the first found out another interesting development._

_No air was entering his lungs. _

_He wasn't breathing. _

_He was dead._

_Turns out the cardiac arrest did happen. Didn't see that one happening. Totally wasn't foreshadowed. Nope. Not at all. Notta. Not a cha-_

_Baron! The f*ck are you doing? This is meant to be a dramatic character moment! Shut up and continue with the story!_

_Fine fine asshole._

_Write. Don't talk._

_*Grumblegrumblecocksuckingtim etravelergrumblegrumble*_

_I WROTE THAT!_

_YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO! *SLAM*_

_Anyway, now that Baron has officially rage quitted the story, Rhode was staring in shock at Adam. With hopeful hands, Rhode examined is pulse. None, he definitely was dead._

"_How did this happen?" Questioned Rhode. She wouldn't cry; Neah was the only Noah she ever _truly _cared about to the point in where she would cry openly about his death, however she would most certainly shed a silent tear for the newest, and deadest, family member._

"_How did what happen?" Asked Tykki Mykk, dreading the answer before he even could understand what it was._

"_His death." Said Rhode simply._

_Tykki, despite the smallest aspect of him expecting the answer, couldn't avert his eyes from widening. "How? He was alive just a minute ago!"_

"_The Innocence must have over exerted his heart by forcing it to keep up with its demands." Answered the Skull, of who was standing behind both of the Noahs, resulting in a collective thought from Rhode and Tykki; when did he get here?_

"_What I don't understand about this though, is why no one came to his aid. The machines, before they were turned into that ash pile over there, were supposed to send out a signal in case his heart rate ever increased or decreased dramatically." Spoke the Skull aloud, examining the area._

_Rhode and Tykki watched slightly confounded looks on both their faces at both what he was doing and how he ended up here._

"_What are you doing?" Finally inquired Tykki._

"_Checking something. We thought that due to his Innocence's habit of outwards flame throwing, we might want to put the signal device somewhere that wouldn't be affected. The underside of the bed, specifically." Retorted the Skull, leading Tykki to ponder slightly._

"_I thought I felt something when I was under there…but that still doesn't answer just how this happened! What exactly occurred in this room to make Adam end up dead?" Replied Tykki._

"_That's what I'm attempting to figure out now." Reacted the all bones, magic and clothes individual. With an "Ah-hah!" the indication the Skull found something was clear. "The device appears to be functioning, but what about its power source…" After a rather abnormally large sweat drop, the Skull most certainly found the source of the problem._

"_It wasn't plugged in. Don't you hate it when that happens?" This struck a cord with both Noah; Tykki especially, if the convulsing hand was proof._

"_You mean to tell me that Adam is dead because you idiots who dare call yourselves servants of the Millennium Earl forgot to plug something in?!" Shouted the Pleasure of Noah, clearly angered, grasping the Skull's shirt with one hand._

"_Yep." Said the Skull, not missing a beat._

_Rhode's outrage came in the form of candles; dozens of them. "You hurt my family. Now, I'll break your mind into so many pieces there'll never be hope of rebuilding it." Said Rhode, coldly._

_Due to death one and two looming over, the Skull desperately attempted to reason with them, despite the pitiful excuses that his words were. "Please! It wasn't me who set up the device! Okay it was, and I was the guy who also was in charge of making sure it worked, but my bones were arching that day because of the workload I had! Lord Millennium had worked me for two hours that day, continuously, and last I checked this guy-" cue him pointing at himself, "-wasn't built for hard work! Please! Spare me!"_

_For a representation of how things played out, read this:_

_Rhode: Down, Down, Forward, Down, B! *Makes Skull think she's performing a Fatality*_

_Tykki: Back, Down, Back, Forward, X! *Actually performs a Fatality *_

_Yeah._

* * *

_**ANYWAY LATER**_

* * *

_All was quiet. The backyard of the Noah family, that is. _

_No sound was made by all attending the funeral of the late Adam Phoenix Millennium. They were either trying to be respectful or too busy high up on their own rivalry to dare make a sound. The majority of the family was the former, the twins were the latter. (They still hadn't gotten over the masterfully made fight by yours truly yet, drama queens.)_

_Dressed in black were all members of the Noah family, even the Twins albeit they were being forced to at practically gunpoint. (It would be more politically correct to say Tykki's-hand point.) Acting as the stand-in priest was Moore Hesse, of who had been fidgeting, and at one point attempting to rip off her clothes, due to how uncomfortable they were._

"_We are all gathered here today to commemorate the memory of Adam Phoenix Millennium, the unofficial member of our family." Sniffling was heard, namely from Sheryl, of who was being as Tykki mumbled 'weird again'. Areanna appeared to take exception to this, if her getting up and knocking Sheryl unconscious was anything to go by._

"_We all know that he was a flawed arrogant annoying twerp. However, he was _our _flawed arrogant annoying twerp." Said Moore, uncaring of the unconscious Noah. "Therefore, today, we all are gathered here to commemorate- wait I just said that. Let me start again," cue Moore clearing her throat, "Adam Phoenix Millennium was- no, that's from the middle. Uh, no, can't have anything to do what stupid god or Jesus or the bible here, ah! I know!" Moore began anew, with determination fresh as well. (__**AN: I'd recommend listening to Two Steps from hell: Protectors of the Earth whilst hearing her speech**__)_

_Offhandedly Areanna commented "quit changing the speech and say it right already!"_

_Suppressing a twitch unsuccessfully, Moore continued with a brave face._

"_Adam Phoenix Millennium was an asshole that doesn't deserve a funeral; that much we all know. But, before you can object, I'll tell you this; none of us deserve it either. Adam Phoenix Millennium was despicable. A sexist dirtbag with a god complex and a lousy sense of humour, not to mention he was his own best audience, but that's just it. _

_Tykki," at hearing his name he perked up, "has both a light side _and _a dark side, and his dark side makes him an ungodly sadist, effectively a monster. Do you think he deserves a funeral? Probably not._

_Sheryl is a loving father, yes, but a man almost as sadistic as his brother, manipulative and remorseless about killing. Funeral worthy? Nu-uh._

_Rhode is a blatant psychopath. Should she get a funeral? Not a chance."_

_Areanna showed clear signs of aggravation; but did not express it._

"_Hell, _me, _I love hitting people. A lot more than I should, admittedly. And I can anger easily. Will I get a funeral if it wasn't for you guys? Nope. Never._

_Jasdero and Devit? Okay, I admit that the Millennium Earl would have to talk to me about it, but still, in the end I'd be partially all for a funeral for them. Partially._

_Areanna, as much as I dislike putting you on the spot like this, I've got to say this. You are the embodiment of sadism itself. Even Tykki doesn't like hurting things as much as you do. Your diehard loyalty and anger issues stemming from it doesn't help either. You just aren't burial material._

_Lulubell, you apathetic cold and uncaring about anyone besides yourself and the Millennium Earl woman you," this remark led to a twitch from Mimi, of who was manicuring the Noah of Lusts' finger nails. It was clear sign of Mimi asking for permission to shut her up; Lulubell waved her off, and Mimi resumed filing. "I don't want to say this again but I have to; she probably wouldn't deserve a funeral, either."_

_It was all Mimi could do not to attack the woman._

"_As much as I hate to say this, Adam, the first apostle, our boss and saviour, the Millennium Count or Millennium Earl depending on who you ask, also doesn't deserve a funeral." Many, many eyes turned towards Moore, least of all the Millennium Earl, of who had eyes entirely filled with interest._

_Areanna, in an anger fuelled rage (The best kind) neared Moore quickly and efficiently placed a dagger to her throat. "I may not have been in this family for long but I know for a fact that is NOT what you say at a funeral. Say the speech correctly or not at all. Don't start talking about the family like that." She spoke, venom in her tone and words._

_Moore's sweat rate went up; drastically. A pig wouldn't hold a candle to her at that moment. "But you know what? That's the point." Spoke Moore, shakily, and then proceeding calmly. "That's the point; we all don't deserve to be sent off, buried, cremated and or whatever kind of funeral anyone could think of. So, because Adam would do the same for us, err, hopefully anyway, we honour him by burying him beneath our feet._

_Because, when we die, the only people that would bury us are each other, we bury him._

_Because, if Tykki died, or Sheryl died, or Rhode died, or anyone else in our family died, we would all bury them, we bury Adam._

_We bury Adam not just for each other, or to prove that he meant at least _something _to us, we bury Adam because if we don't bury Adam, then we not only don't deserve a funeral, we don't deserve to _exist._ Thank you all for listening." Moore silently slinked away from her position in front of the grave, and the coffin, and into one of the chairs, trying to make herself not exist for the moment._

_Turns out that even that much wasn't enough to prevent what Areanna did afterwards, after whispering into her ear when she passed "nice speech. Too bad the ending wasn't so kind." And cutting her on the arm; blood flowed as a result, and she continued before going to her seat. "Thanks for annoying me."_

_A slow clap was heard, and upon trying to find who was doing it, the answer discovered was an interesting one; the Millennium Earl. He was clapping._

"_Impressive speech, My Child. I'll admit what you say is true; were it not for each other, when we die none of us would get the funeral we deserve. And, I'll also admit that we truly don't deserve to exist if we didn't at the very least respect each other enough to give one another a funeral. However, I have one complaint; fact of the matter is you were supposed to read a funeral sermon, and afterwards, and only afterwards, give your thoughts on the Child." Spoke the currently alive first Apostle._

_Moore, embarrassment staining her features like Ink on cloth, apologised before quickly slinking back into what most could consider the closet a person could to none existence._

"_Anyone else want to say anything on Adam's behalf? Or, about Adam, even?" Questioned the Millennium Earl._

_Areanna stood up not with the intention of speaking, rather leaving. Hands in her pockets, she weaved her way through the chairs, before Rhode interrupted her._

"_Why don't you speak Areana?" Inquired Rhode._

"_Didn't know him. Can't really say anything other than he was family. You all say we don't deserve to exist yet if we don't then why are we on this earth? We all deserve to live for some reason. We just don't know that reason until it comes. We don't die until we have fulfilled that reason. For some reason it feels like Adam hadn't completed his purpose, meaning it feels like he's still alive. I'm going home. I have plans for tomorrow and need some rest." Came her reply, as she just kept walking out, question still thick in the air._

_Oh, how right she was._

* * *

_**ADAM**_

* * *

"Did I just experience a flashback?" I questioned; not expecting an answer and not receiving it either. "Not important. First things first, punch the asshole who buried me like I was his dog lucky." Pushing my sleeves up, I made my way into the house.

Tried to, anyway. The front door was locked. "Damn it. I'm going to have to try the back."

* * *

_**AREANNA**_

* * *

She stood at the train station, facing the tracks; her promise to be there tomorrow for Lavi to tell him her answer to his question unforgotten.

Behind Areanna, a man with vulgar breath did so onto her neck, shortly before he used a dagger to give her neck company. "Scream and I cut off your pretty little fuckin' head, and fuck it afterwards to appease my massive member."

Two more men seemingly appeared from thin-air and held her arms tight. "Come with me and the boys or I gut ya. We're gonna have fun with your body." Sniffing the woman's neck, he continued. "You smell pure. I'll love fuckin' your type's purity away. The way they scream in agony, just makes me feel so hard it makes me want to fuck 'em even more." He chuckled the way one would expect his 'type' to; lustfully and evilly.

"Wanna leave me alone? I haven't done anything to bother you so could you please leave me be?" She inquired.

All three thugs laughed, and the supposed leader behind Areanna said "you hear that? She said 'please.' She's even more pure than I thought." He ran a hand over her side, stopping to slightly grope her chest and behind. "We'll enjoy fuckin' you until you want it." Grasping the female's hand, he used it to rub his...anaconda. "Feel that? I've been feedin' it pure bitches like yourself for a while now. I can't wait to fuck the innocence out of your eyes." With his dagger, he cut open the seemingly soon to be victim's shirt. "And you're going to enjoy it too. You are going to fuckin' beggin' for it when we're done with you, like the fuckin' whore you are."

"You know what. I fuckin' hate people like you guys. All of you should just die." Her foot collided with one of the thugs holding her arms, letting her go in recoil was his reaction. "Leave me alone before I have to take drastic measures you wanna-be thugs."

The alpha male of the wild human pack let out a growl of pleasure. "Oh look, girly's got bite. I'll enjoy breaking her even more now." He reached for her, knife still in hand, intent on taking the woman, in more ways than one.

She thought for but a moment. 'I really don't want to explain any of this when Lavi gets here... guess I better run.' She backed up slowly, prior to going into a full blown run in a bid to escape.

They followed, of course, but never caught up, Areanna's Noah speed more than a match of theirs. You reached an alley a short distance away, not quite close enough to attract suspicion from the train station but not far enough that she wouldn't make it back in time to meet Lavi upon exiting the train. When they caught up, the leader commented "whew. Haven't had to run for that long since my third bitch tried to get away. She didn't escape, nah I cut her too bad for her to escape, but she still gave me a run for my money. I made sure she was pleasured far, far longer than my other bitches as a, commendation for her work. Think she killed herself afterwards; probably from cock withdrawal." He laughed as his own sick, twisted humour. "Ain't that a bitch."

She practically vanished; causing the serial rapist to almost collide with the adjacent wall. Her reappearance was behind him. "There are two things you never call me. If you value your life then you wouldn't want to call me a bitch or a whore. You just called me both." Her eyes showed much hatred, and pure, cold, intent to kill. "Die in a hole you mother fucking bastards!" Her blade came forth, out of its sheath and into the heart of a thug, immediately retracting it into and out of another thug's throat, from left to right respectively. Her body turned towards the leader, and her footsteps followed suit. "I hope your life was worth it. I'll give you ten seconds to pray to whatever God you believe in." (In the meantime, I'd highly recommend pissing yourselves, followed by a course of praying to your impotent God! But hey, there's always time to be a man and kill yourself! Thank you London! We love you! Good night! – _Adam_)

He stared in awe of the blood gushing everywhere from his former partners in crime, and smiled. Yes, smiled. "Wow. Now, I'm harder than ever. Blood makes great lubricant you know." After quirking his face to side for another 7 seconds, and making extremely weird faces whilst he was at it, he continued. "Nah. Think that's 'bout it. You may now proceed to blow me, you unholy bitch." Right before she raised the blade and whatnot, he shouted:  
"YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL!"

The dagger lowered. "You know what?! You don't deserve the sweet pleasure of death!" A strong strike with her foot landed him on the ground. "You will live with agonizing pain." She knelt, and using her knife, removed his sack. She listened as he screamed in pain. "You'll either bleed to death very painfully, or you live the pain of knowing you can never bang another girl." Smirk of pure sadistic present on her face, she walked with the sound of his agonised screams filling the background.

* * *

_**ADAM**_

* * *

I reached the backdoor with fast feet and an agitated mindset. "Okay, door number two is…?"

I twisted the knob. "Locked. God damn it. Guess I'm trying the window then."

* * *

_**AT A PLACE WITH TRAINS AND PEOPLE WITH ACTUAL SACKS**_

* * *

The first thing Lavi did after getting off his train was scan the station; making sure there wasn't anyone paying him close heed since he wasn't wearing his Exorcist uniform, as he decided that he didn't want to put Areanna in danger, and therefore the only ones that could recognise him would be Noah. Seeing no one, the second thing he did was redo the scan, this time for a familiar face.

Areanna. And upon doing the search twice more, he had become sure of one thing.

She wasn't there; Areanna, had not shown up.

Yet. He thought hastily. Yet.

Lavi wasn't worried; it wasn't like he had expected someone he had just met yesterday to actually _be_ there. Sure, the person he had spoken to yesterday was a nice enough woman, and a pretty one at that (Lavi hadn't been able to stop himself shouting strike for the entire train ride back to the Black Order), but there wasn't really any form of trust that had been made in that short time they had spent together. He couldn't expect Areanna to save his life like he could Kanda, or Lenalee, or Allen.

And yet, as Lavi sat down, still not able to quite accept that perhaps she wasn't there and was therefore still searching visually for her; he couldn't stop the slight sadness the idea had brought him. Why did the thought of her not being there sadden him? He didn't quite get a chance to ponder as afore mentioned girl showed up then and there, and he noticed her with a smile.

She repeated his actions, and strode on up to him. "Sorry if I kept you waiting long. I didn't know if I would need a jacket so I went back to grab one just in case." Said Jacket was one stolen from the thugs when the Author wasn't looking, but they weren't in any position to complain.

"No biggie." He said offhandedly. "Not like I was worrying or anything." He added sheepishly, eye slightly averted. Gesturing to the seat beside him, he said "you can sit if you want. I'm not stopping you."

"Thanks." She stole said seat. "You know, almost as soon as you left I made up my mind to come. I don't know why it was such an easy choice but I'm sure it was the right one."

Lavi's retorted smile was filled with major happiness and minor concern. "As happy as I am that you decided to join the Order, I don't think you should have decided so easily. This is danger on a grand scale. Every mission is practically suicide, and that's just for the Exorcists, those that can defend themselves. For the finders it's almost guaranteed death. Are you really sure you want to be in that kind of scenario every day for the rest of your life?" His tone was serious, no nonsense to be found for miles around even, and slight worry. At the least, Lavi thought, I want her to join with her thoroughly understanding the risks.

With eyes filled to the brim with seriousness, she stared at… "Lavi. I've heard it all before. I know what I'm running into and I know that I'm risking my life but if it means saving others than I'll do it. You don't have to ask me if I'm sure or any of that. I got that for a few hours last night and this morning."

Sighing, Lavi's eye went to the tracks. "I understand that you do, but all I'm saying is consider it carefully. You may be sure that you know what you're getting into, but unless you know firsthand what being an Exorcist or finder is like, then you have no true clue."

* * *

_**ADAM**_

* * *

Using a flame ladder, I climbed up the side of building, and clasped onto the window. "Alright. Third time's the charm."

And upon trying to pry it open, I felt resistance.

Complete. Global. _Resistance-ation._

It too, was locked. "Oh come on!"

* * *

_**AREANNA**_

Said, "I know how terrifying it is. About a year ago some Akuma attacked my town. We were all scared. They attacked me and my family. I fought back and won. I still don't know how I won but I did. I have at least some experience so you don't have to worry."

She's experienced, she's determined, she's willing, Lavi listed off mentally; by all rights I shouldn't be trying to turn her away. But why does the thought of her getting hurt or, even...killed...make me feel so...scared? Just another reason a Bookman doesn't need a heart I guess. He reasoned. Too confusing, even for the likes of me.

And so, logic overcoming his own personal feelings, he relented, saying "fine. The next train to the Order is in ten minutes, so you have until then to be absolutely certain. Once you enter the Gate at the Black Order HQ, there's no turning back Areanna. I hope you understand that." His facial expression; all seriousness, no room for 'partially'.

Her face held the same expression; at least, her eyes did. "I decided what I was going to do yesterday. I understand there's no backing down. I'm completely sure I want to do this."

_He returned the expression perfectly, and began staring at the tracks once more._

**_"Then, we wait."_**

* * *

**AN: -UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP? Told ya I would. :P**

**Anyway, just want to say that this actually kind of sort does lead up to some cool stuff. As we all know, Areanna is a Noah, and Lavi is getting some particular~~~~ feelings for her. Hm, you know, thinking it over, if they became a shipping, then we would have:**

**Noah x Noah**

**Exorcist x Akuma**

**Noah x Exorcist**

**We'd have a trio of weird shippings. :P We got incest, literal meanings of battle taunts (IMMA RAPE YA! - _Adam) AND _a 'What a twist!' worthy relationship. As for who is what, you'll have to read to find out~~. :P**

**As for Adam, he'll find a way into the mansion. Hopefully. Somehow. I think. As for the Innocence not being destroyed thing, as you all know since they thought Adam was dead and whatnot so why would he need Innocence, well, it coincides with why he has a gash on his head. :P Why was the Earl not sad? Why wasn't Rhode?**

**Hm. Areanna might not have been the first to figure out what she said, during the funeral that is, and I'll leave it at that. :P**

**God I love fuckin' with you guys. XD**

**So, guys, enjoy thinking it over~~.**

**Oh and before you guys ask about that whole scene with Allen and the destroyed Black Order couple chapters ago, well, lets just say that the jigsaw puzzle, *Puts on sunglasses* is about to get some DLC. :P**

**YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.**


	43. The Noah Of Innocence (Sorta)

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

* * *

_Chapter 37: The Noah of Innocence (Sorta)_

* * *

**AN: Wassup y'all? I've revised the first chapter of this story; you might want to check that out, since it is plenty different.  
**

**School has started up for me; meaning slower updates again. :( Sorry readers. Since today was my first day back FYI, I'll tell you a little something:  
**

**You know the whole 'oh, the first day back is going to be horrible' vibe you get in the back of your mind? Well, that was prophetic for me. Here are the highlights of my day:  
**

**Fell out of bed (Kind of meh)  
**

**Lost my favorite pen (Which was fantastic)  
**

**Aching shoulder from carrying a 24 pack of water bottles (Astounding even)  
**

**Stepped out of the car wrong and hurt my foot (The agony reminds me I'm alive)  
**

**Forgot my bag (Fabulous, simply)  
**

**Lectured by all of my teachers for it (Because obviously I _love _being talked down to)  
**

**Was on the receiving end of a prank by a flock of teenaged girls (Because obviously I liked being flirted with when I'm not in the mood to talk to people)  
**

**Received a death threat (Effectively) from the boyfriend of the girl I was talking to (Because obviously despite the fact that the conversation was friendly and nothing more I _must _be hitting on her)  
**

**Misread my time table (Little sheet that tells you what classes you have, when and where. Don't know if they have something like that in the vast amount of countries you people are spread across :P) so I ended up half an hour late for class and had to make up for it in detention (I'm not stupid; THAT FONT IS JUST SO SMALL! *In tiny font* So small. So, _small_... *Even tinier font* _That's what she said..._)  
**

**And to top it all off, I was talked down to by a douche who thinks he's superior and whatnot. He called me an 'effin retard'. Now, here's the thing. I don't make excuses for getting angry and wanting to hit anyone; I know violence never solves problems (In school at least :P ) so I can't excuse me wanting to fucking FLOG that bastard, but hot _damn _do I regret only _not _hitting the bastard.  
**

**Here's what irks me:  
**

**He refers to me as mentally handicapped in a very disrespectful manor when I have friends (Sort of) that are actually like that. Not only is he insulting quite a few of my friends, but he mislabeled me; I'm not mentally _handicapped, _I have a mental _disorder_. I'm not telling you what it is; simply put, since this is the internet and stuff gets around quickly. (I don't remember who said it but I believe the phrase goes "The internet is like a horny orgy; people eat up the stuff that seems good constantly and demand moar of the good stuff and also spread personal things like it's going out of style.") I've had to deal with people labeling me for quite a bit of my life, years of being bullied, and having regrets all the ways up to my ears from it, (My disorder causes me to make really, _really _bad decisions a lot of the time you see) so for me to not only be mislabeled but be insulted is an _extremely _bad thing to me.  
**

**Not to mention that I have first hand knowledge that he himself has a mental disorder (Word from the wise I got it from; IE my mother since she works at my High School) making him the ultimate douche/hypocrite. He's a year older than everyone in his grade and flaunts his grades (I have higher marks across the board and am a year younger than my peers so if anyone should be bragging it's me. But I'm not since I _hate _braggers) whilst talking down to everyone in the Special Education Program. (SEP for short here down under) I've heard tales from my cohorts in the Program about him verbally abusing them; even the Teacher Aides has mentioned how the kid goes balistic when 'speds' (As he oh so loves to refer to 'my kind', as he has also said to me) get special treatment.  
**

**Basically, he's Little Miss super douche and he was talking _down _to _me._  
**

**And you know what made the conversation _worse? _The teachers wouldn't do anything about it. He swears it didn't happen, and since I'm 'on that Program' my credibility has reason to be doubted. _Then, _he has the audacity to rub the fact that he got off scot-free by telling me, and I quote:**

**"You know, I was only trying to be nice. It's such a shame that you being around those speds has ruined your brain cells to such a degree that you would think that _I _of all people would resort to a meaningless argument that proves only the other party's stupidity. What's the point? Aruging with me already means you must be stupid, anyway, you sad, sad boy. I do hope that they give you the right medication this time. *Pats me on the head* Maybe next time, m'kay? When you aren't acting like such a retard we can talk again. How does that sound? Hm? Sounds nice? Do I need to translated to stupid? Do I?"  
**

**I absentmindedly wished for Baskerville (Alucard's Familiar) to appear and eat him, before realizing that such low quality food would give the poor thing indigestion.  
**

**And before he went, he actually asked me why I hanged out with '_those speds'._  
**

**To which I responded:**

** "Fuck you, that's why." **

**I have never felt better about swearing _in my LIFE. _Even when they (The teachers be dobbed me in to) gave me a stern talking and forced me to apologize for swearing 'unprovoked' at him, it was still worth it.  
**

**Eh, such is life. You deal with it one asshole at a time, I guess. And the best part? He's in my Math class. The _one _subject I actually enjoy. So now, math is ruined for me.  
**

***Sigh* My year is going to be _hell. _X( BUT! BUT I SAY! I WILL PREVAIL! FOR THE EMPEROR!  
**

**Apologize for boring you peeps with this sizable block of my life in the AN, but I needed to say something about that guy. I don't blog, despite my mother saying that I should since she believe it'll help me with, something I guess.  
**

**ANYWAY STORY**

* * *

_**WINDOW (TAKE 2)**_

Okay, I thought, bracing myself for the second failure. This time, I open this. Damnit though, this isn't Orc technology! If it was, then just by thinking that it works it would! Damn you 40K for getting my hopes up for self-dispensing chips in the not too distant future! (You honestly can't grasp the concept of how long 40 thousand years into the future is? – _Baron_)(Yeah I can. Soon. – _Adam_)

Clasping the window dearly, I counted to three in preparation for opening it.

Inside though, other things were occurring.

* * *

_**TYKKI**_

* * *

Tykki smoked his 3rd cigarette in under ten minutes, and breathed it out against the room's air. He couldn't comprehend, personally, why he was sitting on Adam's bed, in his former room.

Maybe he had cared for the boy more than he let on.

Maybe he didn't.

Or maybe he was just doing this for the hell of it. He wasn't entirely sure what influenced his decisions as of late, just that he could almost hear the faint sound of Adam's comments at the back of his mind, and felt, _something_, he guessed.

Maybe it was just his daily routine had been destroyed since Adam's random demise at the hands of his own Innocence. Adam had been living with them for just over two weeks before such a thing occurred, and having Adam be there whenever Tykki went to eat, went to read, and even occasionally bumping into him in the halls, was starting to become his norm for the time being.

Maybe he really _had _cared for the boy more than he let on; almost like he did Eeez. He wouldn't ever admit it to his other homeless companions, of who now that he thought about it hadn't seen for a while, and might want to pay a visit to, but he had a soft spot for the kid. Eeez he meant; not Adam.

The kid was unfairly treated by God; being born sickly like he was, destined to die young because of it. Tykki had moved past pity and sympathy long ago, and found himself in the middle of friendship with the boy. He would defend the boy, like he would his family, but he would not choose him over them, that much was certain. He knew where his loyalties lie; with the Clan of Noah, and not many others.

And those others were few indeed.

Matter of fact; he was still trying to decide if Adam could have qualified as being part of his family or just a friend.

Trying to take his mind off the boy, Tykki stared blankly, head resting on hand, at the ceiling. Upon noticing the amount of smoke gathered, he decided to open a window, mind still a million miles away whilst doing so.

Maybe the boy was alive; it was a suspicion he was beginning to have, truthfully. It had started when he had heard the Earl's reaction to the news of Adam's death; or lack thereof for that matter. The man was disturbingly emotional, so for him to not care was completely unlike him. Tykki's suspicion was founded then and there.

Afterwards, at the funeral, he heard Areanna's speech about how it felt that Adam wasn't dead; and in truth, she was right. There _was _a feeling, black as the pits of the deepest, darkest lake on Earth that dwelled within him that said Adam still lived.

How, still evaded him. The boy's heart had stopped beating. His body had become _cold, _in such a way that Tykki was beginning to think it was perverse.

It was like someone had absorbed the heat from his very body, he thought. Almost as if someone, or something, had attempted to preserve it.

He reached the window and sighing; pulled it open at the exact same second Adam Phoenix Millennium did, sending him toppling to the grass beneath his flaming ladder.

Tykki, shocked, blinked with his mouth agape. Was that…? His mind inquired. He peered out the window and true enough Adam, the boy blunder, was there; sprawled all over the grass.

"Glad you decided to re-join the world of the living, boy." Quipped Tykki, staring at the twitching Adam.

They would be having a long conversation.

Especially, Tykki thought with widening eyes, why his body had become that of a Noah; Stigmata and all.

* * *

_**AFTER GETTING IN THROUGH A WINDOW (MAKRED FOR BEING TYKKI ASSISTED) AND EXPLAINING SOME STUFF**_

* * *

"…And then we put the cat in the freezer!" I exclaimed happily.

"How is that even related, boy?" Tykki questioned, eye twitching.

"It isn't." I stated honestly. "I was just being fantastic, as always."

"Right." Tykki noted with a roll of his eyes.

"Anyway, that's the story. I was in a coffin, got out of it, attempted to go through the back and front door, couldn't, and ended up here." I returned.

Tykki took a great drag from his cigarette, feeling like he undoubtedly needed one after seeing such awesomeness from yours truly. "I missed the part where you became a Noah, boy."

Cue fright filled eyes widening extremely. "I don't know what you mean Tykki." I defended calmly, Baron helping me conceal my emotion behind a façade. "Man, you must really fail at life to be able to get a simple sentence like that to become ineligible."

Exasperated most certainly, Tykki called back "I mean, why do you have seven Stigmata lining your forehead, ash gray skin and golden eyes?"

That stopped me in my tracks. "I _what?_" Disbelieving him, or wanting to at that, I ran my hand gingerly over my forehead. As he said; seven Stigmata, which I couldn't even remember getting, lined my forehead. That was before I remembered that I had them in the coffin, and just assumed it was the opening-themselves-whenever-I-didn't-want-them-to nature that they had.

Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit shit fuCKFUC|+AGUHW)ITGOHNAHOIJHN- *Boom* Baron, I think my mind broke. Halp?

_You just misspelled 'help.' I don't think I can save your mind any more than you could save an Italian from making pasta._

LACIST!

_What?_

YOU HEARD ME! YOU DISCRIMINATE AGAINST SHOES, YOU, YOU, BIGLETTE!

…_Weren't we speaking about how you are basically fucked just moments ago?_

We were indeed, captain obvious. I'm still waiting on your help Baron.

_Why? What could possibly be bothering you now?_

…You honestly don't know?

_I don't pretend to know everything because I don't have to; but in this circumstance I don't know something, so fill me in if you would be so kind._

My Noah-ness? The Stigmata lining my forehead, ash gray skin and GOLDEN F*CKING EYES?!

_What? _What _did you just say?_

You heard me, Baron.

_But I…what? How could- your Innocence. It must be. It was consuming your cells yesterday, or whatever day you were conscious previously._

My Innocence turned me into a Noah?

_In a word; yes, it did._

That was three.

_And you wonder why people don't like you._

That's only because people are stupid; they can't get over their obvious jealously of my good looks.

…_Right. And winter is made by the atheists to scare true Christians away-_

Yep.

_-Mitt Romney doesn't change his policies like a girl does clothes-_

That he does.

_-and Santa Claus exists._

Actually, if you remember a few chapters ago he was screwing the past you just the way you like it, so I'd say he exists, Baron.

_*Grumblegrumbleretardedtimetr avellergrumblegrumble*_

Two can play at that game, Baron. *Grumblegrumblehorsemolesterg rumblegrumble*

_I'm sorry, when did we start talking about YO MOMMA?_

The same time she started blowing me; whenever I want it to happen.

…

What? No witty comment?

_No, not really. Do whatever dirty talk you need to get off with your mother; I'll just be in my room totally unaware of the thing called 'grandma banging' going on, at least in correspondence to her age._

Weren't we speaking about how you are basically f*cked, or were by Santa anyway, just moments ago?

_Didn't I already ask that question?_

Not the point.

_Then what is?_

I dunno.

_You don't know?_

Yep. Problem?

_Indeed I have a problem with people that are completely incompetent._

Take it up with your mother.

_Adam?_

Yes?

_Suck a dick._

Your mother does.

_Screw it._

Your mother must be desperate if she does it to inanimate objects.

_Indeed, your mother must._

Baron?

_Yes?_

Kiss my ass, and before you do that I still need advice on the situation.

_Read the line four me-speaking's ago, and then the line of your dialogue above that?_

Your pedophile instincts can wait; the advice I need is on the current situation.

_And that is?_

Me standing in front of Tykki with him staring at me like I'm a loon for spacing out for so long and the Innocence in me having turned me into a Noah.

_Right. _That _situation._

Advice?

_Act like you do naturally; completely oblivious to why this has happened and what is causing it._

So I didn't need your advice at all.

_Yep._

F*ck you.

_Your mother has._

BARON YOU LITTLE LINE STEALER!

_Ciao for now._

(**AN: WHAT ADAM SAID!**)

FUUUUUUUU-

You undoubtedly get the door slamming shut part of the conversation by now.

"-UUUUUUCK!" I finished physically, fist shaking at the sky in total fury.

Tykki nearly dropped his cigarette in shock from Adam's random outburst. For the last few minutes no sounds or even tangible forms of expression came from the boy. At first Tykki thought the boy was brooding, but lack of a sulking expression indicated otherwise.

Therefore, Tykki had come to believe Adam was mulling over his words, silently, and with no outward influence to sway his mind.

Also therefore, when Adam had suddenly shouted and started shaking his fist straight at the ceiling Tykki had thought he had gone barmy for a second there, both of them in fact.

However, a quick exchange of words had assured Tykki that his sanity was safe; Adam's, not so much.

"Whoa, boy! What was that for?" Tykki asked guess-who.

"I was shouting at Baron." I said simply.

"Who?" He inquired.

And I elaborated. "Voice in my head. Left me hanging there so I expressed my anger at him."

Tykki stared at me as if he couldn't fathom a man with so little sense, but then profoundly slunk back into the bed since he had tensed when I shouted.

"Of course you did." Tykki sighed out.

"Anyway, you being an idiot and almost dropping your cigarette notwithstanding, this-" cue gesture towards myself with my hand, more specifically my thumb "-was the subject were talking prior to that. To answer your question, I don't know. At all. I was thinking a Skull might need to check on my Innocence si-"

_Creak._

"I thought I heard voices~~." Came the Jolly voice of the Millennium Earl, as he ploughed through the recently opened door and stood in my room. "Welcome back Ada-" his grin seemed to be hitched between glee and shock upon staring at me. "Well look at this~~." He said eventually. "Isn't this, interesting~~?"

And then the world exploded. The end.

The Earl stood before me; examining the changes between now and when he last saw me. "Astounding. Your Innocence copied the appearance of a true Apostle perfectly~, stigmata and all. This occurred more perfectly than I thought it would." He spoke, eyes still darting all over myself, leading me to mumble 'I feel dirty' for the second time in my life.

Scathingly, I stared at the 1st Apostle. "'More perfectly than you thought it would'?" I questioned with a cold stare and absorbing expression.

"Adam~~!" Apparently there was a culmination of Noah going on before I happened to come in through the window, as Rhode Kamelot come forth from beyond the Earl and almost tackled me with a hug.

Her eyes went wide as she too discovered the Innocence's effect on me.

"It happened just like it said you would Millennie~~." She soon spoke, earning a rise out of Tykki, literally, and a retort.

"Lord Millennium, care to explain what's going on?" The Noah of Pleasure said, desperate for answers.

"What he said." I spoke, gesturing to Tykki.

"Ah, My Child, I forgot you were there~." The Earl replied smoothly. "Your questions will be answered when we reach the Skull Laboratory; I will need to have them run tests on Adam's Innocence to see if I was correct after all."

"Fine then."

The Noah of Pleasure stood.

"Lead the way."

"Ditto." Five bucks if you guess who said that.

* * *

_**THE DAY OF DESTRUCTION: (THE DAY THE FIRST BLACK ORDER WAS ANNIHILATED:) BLACK ORDERS HQ**_

* * *

_Allen, in complete shock, stopped and stared at the figure behind him._

"_You…!" Allen spoke, surprised and angered._

"**Y_e_s_._ I_t_ i_s_ I_,_ A_l_l_e_n W_a_l_k_e_r._**_" The figure returned as it neared._

_Fury beyond what one could feasibly imagine boiled within the Destroyer of Time. "YOU…! You were the one who…!"_

"**T_h_a_t _I d_i_d_, _A_l_l_e_n_._**_" It, as there was no better way to describe the figure, replied coolly._

_Allen's ordinary arm gripped itself tightly; a clear sign of aggression just waiting to be unleashed. "And who am I speaking to, exactly?"_

"**C_e_r_t_a_i_n_l_y n_o_t A_d_a_m_, A_l_l_e_n_. _I t_h_o_u_g_h_t i_t_ w_a_s o_b_v_i_o_u_s b_y_ n_o_w_._**_" It answered without a whiff of deceit._

"_You've completely taken over-"_

"**Y_e_p_._**_"_

"_-and now Adam is no more-"_

"**U_h_ h_u_h_._**_"_

"_-then," the already clenched fist tensed further, making one wonder just how his hand didn't explode from pressure._

"_I'll have no choice but to destroy you. _

_To save Adam's soul, I will defeat you."_

* * *

_**SKULL LABORATORY**_

* * *

I, for the second time in my life and I hoped for the last, had various objects inserted into me (And not in the most pleasant way) by a Skull who I didn't know nor cared to, on a very uncomfortable barstool that felt like that whoever made it had used knives for the fluff.

So, agony from sitting uncomfortably on a barstool with a needle in my neck aside, the reason for my testing was exactly as the Earl said. He needed to confirm his theory and presumably torture someone for the day, as it was probably part of his breakfast cereal challenge:

"TheChildrenFucker cereal:

Now with fifty percent less Carrier Pigeon!

_Want to take the M (For molest) challenge? Go two weeks without any sexual victims and instead take to torturing them! It's a sensation that's sweeping the nation! Act now, or else everyone and their dog might beat you to it!"_

I can already imagine the Earl with all his pedo buddies saying:

"It's GGGGGREAT!"

"Lord Millennium, care to explain _now_ what is going on?" Tykki asked offhandedly from his leaning against a bench position.

"Soon I will My Child~~, soon I will." The Earl cooed.

The Skull requested I lift my head, I did so, and he gave me a series of commands from then onwards about which direction to face as he did his work.

Ultimately, he was done, and when the Skull said so the Earl had to shake awake a lightly snoring Tykki and heavily sleeping Rhode of who was using him as a pillow.

Tykki awoke easily; Rhode, the opposite. It wasn't until I popped a flame firecracker next to her that she awoke, falling off of the Earl in the process.

Yours truly caught her, much to my and her surprise. I didn't know I could react that quickly. It almost seemed slow to me, her falling that is. Like my reaction time was superhuman…

"Thanks for the save, Adam~~." Rhode called out, looking intently at my face. "You can let me down now."

Doing so, I retorted "right." Tykki had an eyebrow raised as he returned to his seat against the bench, as he had tried to catch Rhode himself but not managing to do so before me.

"Done." The Skull from across the Lab stated, simply. The Earl began beaming immensely as the Skull briskly cut the distance down to size, and soon enough was before us.

"Done what?" I probed.

"The calculations and the experiments." The Earl substituted. "Quickly too. Were the results as I said they'd be?"

The Skull nodded, and the Earl retaliated with a broadened grin. Quickly the Earls' eyes and face dug into Tykki's own as he spoke "now I can answer your question My Child."

"Good. Would you do so then?" He replied.

With a small nod the Earl relaxed into his stool, and following it groaning in absolute agony the 1st apostle talked. "As you can see Adam has the appearance of one of us, the true apostles of god,-" that earned me a glance from Rhode and Tykki, "-and I know why." Looking like he was about to incite a war, the Earl continued.

"I know now, for sure, that Adam's Innocence has gone beyond simply bonding with his skin; it has in fact _become _his skin, and is beginning to graft itself to his internal organs and other assorted tissue."

If I wasn't being stared at before, I sure was then.

"Then why has it taken the form of a Noah?" Tykki inquired.

"I believe it is a side effect of its choice to improve its host. We have the appearance that we do as a side effect of the things done to us mind body and soul. I believe the same applies here; I think Adam's Innocence has attempted to replicate the powers of a Noah, for whatever reason, and ended up having this appearance because of it."

To say Tykki was shocked would be an understatement; same with believing that he didn't see it coming and additionally with saying his jaw had dropped.

Most _certainly _Tykki did _not _think in a _million years_ that Innocence would _ever_ do something like _that._

Rhode, having already heard Millennie's theory prior to my funeral upon asking why he wasn't grieving for Adam, didn't bat an eyelash at such outlandish news. (How do you know about the parts that you weren't there for? – _Baron_)(….*Snortsnort* Magic – _Adam_)

Of course, when it came to yours truly's reaction, mine was the greatest of all.

My eyes widened considerably, and I stared at my hand. That's it.

What? Best doesn't mean longest, jackass. (I'd imagine that you have experience with such a thing – _Baron_)(I'd imagine that you have experience with such a retarded comment – _Adam_)

Anyway, as flabbergasted as Tykki was he still wasn't a fool. "How do you prove that he has the powers of a Noah?"

If possible, the already broadened with joy grin the Earl had expanded _again._

"Simple~~.

We test it."

* * *

_**MOORE'S UNDERGROUND TRAINING ROOM (TECHNICALLY THE NOAH'S)**_

* * *

I was feeling slightly uncomfortable then. No, scratch that, I was _majorly _uncomfortable. I was being observed from afar by the Millennium Earl, Tykki and Rhode, as I stood in the dead centre of the room waiting for 'further instructions'.

"After numerous experiments," the Earl had said after he relieved sheets given to him by the Skull of information, "I've concluded that not only has your appearance been altered, but your physiology as well. Therefore, I can safely assume that your abilities include that of a Noah's. Oddly," he had noted, "there are signs that prior to the complete merger of Innocence within yourself that you were altered physically by it as well. Specifically, your arms and legs, leading to increased speed and strength. Beside the point that is however, as I will need to be sure that you do in fact have all the abilities of a Noah, or one in particular."

The words he spoke were said as he escorted me to the training room, on-board the Ark.

Opposite of me was an Akuma maid. If there was anything eye-catching about her it would have been the strikingly green waist-length hair and golden eyes (How she obtained them I have no clue) she had, to put it bluntly.

Anyway, since she had absolutely no loyalty or association with me until then, the Earl thought it best to commission her for this. She wouldn't obey my commands out of her loyalty to the family; she was forbidden from doing so by the Earl. She was only to do what I said if she felt an 'overwhelming, obedience demanding urge' to.

Basically, I was in a situation that most men would kill for; that being where I can order a woman to do anything I want. You can probably guess all the things I thought of making her do.

I was about to speak out when the Earl did. "Nothing lewd."

That shut me up. I tried again, "nothing rude," the Earl interrupted with.

And before I could even respond with a conscious thought he said "and nothing stupid. Akuma may be a dime a dozen but there is no point in wasting a perfectly good machine~~."

I pouted cutely. "Aw~~~, I was about to make her swear indiscriminately whilst naked at you, Earl. Killjoy."

Said woman in question didn't seem to have outward reaction, despite the nature of my words to the Earl. Twisting myself to her, I spoke again. "With that out of the way; stand back, this may get fabulous~~." I pulled a move that appeared as though I was awesomely removing a contact, and said:

"I, Adam Phoenix Millennium, command you, TO SING WHILST HOPPING ONE LEG WITH YOURS CLOTHES INSIDE OUT!"

"Didn't I _just _say nothing le-" The Earl's words were replaced with seldom seen interest as the Akuma maid _complied._

Of course, I hadn't expected that to work. At all. So, when she all of a sudden tried to become _naked_, I screamed out "STOP! STOP THIS! THIS IS MADNESSS! STOP THIS YOU STUPID STUPID WOMAN!"

During my tirade I became closer and closer, however due to my inability to understand my speed I got far closer than I would have liked and ended up knocking her down. She meekly tried to defend herself with raised arms.

"I'm sorry! Please don't beat me hard again!" I stared, accusingly at the Earl, who just shrugged indifferently at her outburst.

"Don't you worry; I would never do anything to harm you at all." Her arms lowered as I kneeled. "It's the truth, I promise you." I comforted.

She, incredulously, gazed at me.

"Do I look like the kind of guy to lie?" It registered several seconds later what I said. "Bad question. A better question is do I look like the kind of guy to lie about hurting people?" Again, seconds later it registered. "That was worse_._ Okay, best question is do I look like I'm lying right now?" Ding ding ding! I chose the correct door.

Her head shook, mine nodded. "Correct answer." I regained my standing composure, and observed the Earl alongside his currently wide eyed compatriots.

"So, what's next?"

* * *

_**CUE MONTAGE WITH ROCKY MUSIC**_

* * *

"Hold your arm like _this, _stand like _this, _and keep your back straight at all times, boy." Tykki lectured.

Heeding his words, I adjusted myself and prepared to fire. A ball of dark purple colour and unholy origin appeared within the palm of my outstretched arm's hand, prior to its launch at the targets a distance away.

_BOOM!_ Sadly, the shot was off; barely though; it was only an inch away from hitting it. Tykki didn't waste any time telling me that though. "You missed, boy. But you're getting better at least. Again."

Simply put, Tykki was trying to teach me how to aim blasts of Dark Matter. The test taking place then and there had gone past the 'could I do it' stage long ago; now, it was merely proving if it had the same power as any other Noah's, via proving that I had the potential to aim and destroy targets with the same efficiency as an ordinary Noah.

Speaking of there, it was a simple firing range. Afore mentioned lecturer had explained that the location was something the Earl made for him in his younger days as a Noah, back when he was still pretty green at his supposed 'job'.

Anyway, the Millennium Earl was, again, observing from the sidelines. Not a bleacher like last time, but from literal side lines drawn on the ground.

Just so you know, the place was yet another room in the ark, therefore all was stone.

Rhode was with the Earl, of course, legs swinging in a childishly merry manor as she sat on a currently levitating Lero.

_BOOM!_ Another blast came forth, and this time hit the target. It may have hit the edge, but it completely _obliterated _the side it collided with. The target was left standing on one, lonely, wooden, leg. Quickly, it collapsed into a heap of wood, cloth and poorly utilised red and yellow paint.

"You hit it, boy. That's good. It did so only just, though. That's bad." Tykki stated. "That blast was at least a third weaker than an ordinary Noah. Although, I'm basing this on personal experience, meaning chances are you _are _in fact at a freshly incarnated Noah level of strength." Turning his head, he asked "what do you think, Lord Millennium?"

"Why~~, I agree with you wholeheartedly My Child." His response was short; his following statement was not. "Admittedly~~, the other abilities of a Noah are probably not bestowed upon him. He already, as a parasite type accommodator, is immune to the Akuma blood virus. He more than likely can't destroy Innocence just by touching it; I do not believe a piece of Innocence could be _that _far gone from its own kind, after all. Therefore, the boy is a part of our family; Innocence no longer a factor."

_Agreeing, Tykki nodded. However, a bordering on sadistic grin split Rhode's face soon afterwards._

**_"Oh~~, don't be so quick to judge Millennie~~." Within her words was saturated with sugar honey._**

**_"We'll know definitely if he can destroy Innocence if we test it out for real, Millennie, and I know just the way to do it~~."_**

* * *

**AN: And there you have it; Adam gets an upgrade, the first of many. :P Someone has to defeat that OP son of a bitch Apocryphos, somewhere along the line. :)**

**The next chapter contains a break from Canon; but then again, technically all of this is. XD I don't think the latest chapter for DGM included:  
**

**YO MOMMA jokes  
**

**Badass sense that don't make conversations  
**

**And of course Adam Phoenix motherfucking Millennium. :P Who doesn't like that guy? Okay, besides everyone. Who doesn't? Okay, so even the universe itself rejects him. Not important; what would the Universe know anyway pfffft.  
**

**So, the next chapter might take a -little- bit to make; I'm going to have to start from scratch for a great deal of it, and school is going to come down on me. **

**Eh. I can do it. I WILL TRIUMPH IN THE FACE OF ADVERSITY! FOR THE EMPEROR! (*Points to self* This guy recently got a mofo-ing new background for his PC of a Space Marine beating the shiz out of Master Chief. Sorry Chief, I may like you but my loyalty to the Emperor takes precedent.)  
**

**So, ciao for now. :P Read the first chapter if you haven't already read the new revised version of it, please. :P  
**


	44. Adambo: First (ish) Blood

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

* * *

_Chapter 38: Adambo: First (ish) Blood_

* * *

**AN: Word of warning to y'all. This chapter contains so much sugary sweetness between Lavi and...someone else, that you'll need a dental check-up afterwards.**

**Also, this is OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAND words in length. :P Enjoy. Vote on my poll, and that should be all.**

**Ah, and don't forget to review. Of course. :P But do so honestly. I appreciate those reviews more.**

**Edited AN: At the request of two readers, I changed the scenes between Lavi and Areanna. It may have been sweet enough to blot your blood vessels and clog your arteries, but it doesn't appeal to me, or them, therefore it was changed. Simple as that.**

**If any complaints are made about the change; send them to me, Lonewolf658, and InsaneSarahify.**

* * *

Baron, I have a question.

_Your thirst for knowledge beyond what you are likely to comprehend, IE how to open doors, is duly noted. What?_

Where does Innocence come from?

_Didn't you already have this discussion with your parents? The, Birds and the Noah I believe it was called?_

The only thing that moves its head back and forth faster than a hummingbird is you, Baron.

_You do realise I am the one who holds the answers, right?_

If I didn't know that, then why would I be insulting you? It's so obvious Baron; I shouldn't have to explain it to you.

_I'll take that as a no._

Menstruate some other time. I'll ask again, where does Innocence come from?

_You aren't ready to know that yet._

'Ready'?

_As the Millennium Earl, I have plans. Those plans require certain actions. Those actions require certain stimulus, and so on._

Meaning me not knowing where Innocence comes from is all part of your plan?

_Precisely. Now, if that is all, then I'll just be leaving. Your Mother is an insatiable beast._

The slamming of the door that followed my conversation with Baron's end had become so ingrained to said item that I knew by heart when he would leave exactly.

This knowledge allowed me to stop him, from leaving.

Baron, wait…

The sound of swift movement made itself known to me.

_Yes, Servant?_

One, I have another question. Three, don't call me that. Two, kiss my ass. That should be everything.

_Make a remark again and I'll show you the definition of 'Santorum'._

Have fun doing that to your boyfriend; anyway, it's a moral question.

_If she says 'no', it probably means yes. There, advice leant. Can I leave now? I need to sh!t._

Can you tell me anything about _**BRAINS**_, and wait for me to actually explain my question?

_Yes, I can. To the former; you don't have any, to the latter; what is the information worth to you?_

That doesn't answer the question of a question.

_Questionception._

Asterisk hands you five hundred florins asterisk. That much. Now?

_I would have settled for a one night stand with Your Mother you know. I think one of them is the equivalent of a yen, at today's 'exchange', if you know what I mean, rates._

_Anyway, what is it?_

The…Millennium Earl…

_You, the planet, or me?_

…Yes. But also he has forced on a…mission.

_A mission? By George, you've finally done it! You've managed to wrap your pitiful head around the concept of intelligent thinking! A party should be celebrated, only without flaming candles as you still might hurt yourself._

Shut up.

_Your Mother had the side effect of doing that after last night._

This mission entails…some things that I'm not sure of.

_Such as?_

It's to test if I've completely been changed into a Noah by my Innocence. I'm going to a town with a piece of Innocence as its dictator due to the way it's controlling everyone in it.

Problem is, every one that has tried to harm the Innocence, which is said to be inside a Cross in the main most church of the town from information gathered by Akuma, is destroyed. Getting a level three to do this mission was out of the question this early on in the scenario he said, meaning I and another Noah, Wolf, have to collect the Innocence.

This is where the test part comes in. When I reach the Innocence, if I destroy it the same way a Noah can, then that's that concept proven. However, if I can't destroy it, the Earl said we are to leave it for the Exorcists. It is only because I don't believe for a second that I can destroy the Innocence that I accepted the mission.

The Earl was going to send Tykki in my place if I refused, meaning at least now the Innocence has a chance. He played his cards right, the current Millennium Earl, therefore forcing me to take the mission as it was the wisest action.

Now comes the part I'm undecided about. To be able to touch the Cross without having every single slave of the Innocence, which is the entire town by now, on I and Wolfs' asses the Earl gathered a small army of Akuma to 'distract' the Towns people.

_A sound tactic. Your point?_

I don't think I can just stand by and watch as Innocent people are slaughtered just to test a theory of the Earl's. I understand that I won't be able to ultimately either touch or destroy the Innocence without the Akuma, but the feeling of just letting people die because of my ineptness makes me feel so unsure it's beyond funny.

_You really are an idiot._

No matter how flawed, I'd still like to see your reasoning.

_This is war. Sacrifices are necessary; you, an Exorcist with years of experience, of all people, should understand that._

But these people are innocent-

_That doesn't god damn matter. Listen to me you pathetic piece of Exorcist _trash, _people are going to die in this war. It doesn't matter if they do so willingly or unwillingly; it truthfully doesn't. At all. What matters is making sure that the lives of the people that were sacrificed intentionally and unintentionally aren't wasted. The amount of lives sacrificed, advertently or inadvertently to save yours is uncountable; don't throw their lives away by stopping here in your Journey._

Is that Two Steps From Hell in the Backgr-

_I understand your wish for there to be no casualties in war; however, even you should realize its futility. You are nowhere _near _the omniscience of a God, meaning no matter how hard you struggle people are going to die. Even then, even _if _you ascend to a God, you are still mortal, meaning you will still make mistakes and peoples' lives will be wasted in your name, one way or another._

Will you let me fini-

_If you desire to become stronger, then do so. If you desire to have the strength to protect all that you can, then reach for it. Lunge with all your might, grasp with all your will, and push forward with both._

I'm trying to speak he-

_Do not stop._

_Do no falter._

_Do not give up._

_And most of all, do not make those sacrifices in vain._

_After all that has been given to you in blood payment, you cannot afford to revoke your steps. Do not look back, Adam Phoenix Millennium, lest you take a giant shit on the graves of those that have died in the course of this war._

STOP INTERUPTING M-

_Oh, and last word of epic advice, those shoes don't go with that shirt. You have a horrible fashion sense._

BARON I'M GOING TO F*CK YOU-

_Sorry, Your Mother already has. Tata~~, I actually have a life, so goodbye._

I stared at the open, beautiful scenery of my surroundings, then the dirt road my traveling companion had already set off on, and let out a mental curse word.

MOTHERFU-

Almost, that is.

* * *

_**-CKING SCREEN TRANSITION, EARLIER DAT DAY**_

* * *

"…_That is the details of the mission, Link. Do you choose to accept?"_

_From within the confines of Leverrier's standard Inspector's office in Central, no sound was heard beyond said office's owner, as he went into depth seemingly randomly on a mission assignment far beyond the pay grade of anyone without earshot._

_Link, the former CROW operative sat, back ramrod straight, as he analyzed and comprehended his mission._

_Despite how much thought he was putting into his mission, some part of him was wondering why Leverrier had given a task like this to him, and not a CROW Squad, of who were much more suitable. He could even recommend a Squad for him to utilize as well; some of his associates with CROW, of who all joined it together with him. He knew first-hand the capabilities of his former squad-mates, having served Central with him, and could state very confidently that they were able to do this mission far more quickly, and easily, than he ever could._

_Of course, when that train of thought reached its natural questioning end, Link came away with a chest swelled with pride from his superior's faith in him._

_Afore mentioned Inspector's gaze hadn't shifted, even wavered, in the entire time that he had been pondering his next words._

_Stiffly, but the with resolve kind, Link stood, and said, "I wouldn't ever even dream of declining a mission from you, Inspector Leverrier. I will carry out this mission you have given me._

_**I will bring back Adam Phoenix Millennium; alive, or if the situation does not allow that, his corpse."**_

* * *

_**DUN DUN DUNNNNNN AND ALSO EARLIER**_

* * *

Patience is a virtue,_ Lavi thought, _which I'm steadily losing.

_Lavi's gaze on the tracks hadn't been broken for so long even he'd lost count. At one of the far corners of his mind, he was beginning to believe that either the train wasn't going to come, or he'd misread the time and was actually either twelve hours too late or too early for it. Barely, he suppressed a sigh. He didn't take to do a whole lot of nothing all that well. He couldn't even strike up a conversation to pass the time; after acting that way to Areanna earlier, he'd felt slightly…awkward, just being near her, let alone talking to her._

_After a sideways glance at her, Lavi stared out on the horizon, peering further down the tracks for any signs of a train._

_A steadily growing black object met his sight._

_Instantly, his mind, body and soul were lifted. His eyes noticeably brightened, his bored slouch deteriorated into a gleeful, his mind rushed over thoughts of his Home, the Black Order (For now anyway came to mind, but he snuffed that thought) and his entire being overall felt...lighter, he guessed you could say._

_"Hey, Areanna! Look! It's the train!" A gentle tug on her sleeve emphasized the childlike joy Lavi's voice resonated with._

_Behind her hand, she held a giggle. "I can see that. You're happy to go home, aren't you?"_

_Lavi nodded happily. "Yep. It isn't just that though; I get to introduce you to all the people I work with. Allen, Kanda, Johnny, Jerry, Komui, Lenalee, and many, many more. I'm getting excited just thinking about it." The way Lavi fidgeted made him seem at least half his age. "They're all great people; I think you'd like them." He was so happy at that point, even his eye seemingly smiled. "Besides, I finally get to sit on something non-wooden for a few hours. That's just a bonus though."_

_The final phase of his joy was seemingly physical exertion; he had an _aura_ of pure happiness, of impossible joy, that just made the world seemed a little bit brighter with each second any was in it._

_Areanna's self-control when it came to laughter seemed to be thin, as she failed miserably to contain hers. Whilst she came down from her laughing, she smiled, and after it, she spoke. "I can't wait to meet them. Also I kinda agree on the chair thing. I know it isn't right to say but...my butt kinda hurts..."_

_Lavi's face being already red from pure, unadulterated joy was what prevented it from becoming so._

_For some reason, the way Areanna made him feel just the slightest _tingle_ in his chest and cheeks. He hoped he wasn't coming down with something; lord knows that his job doesn't have sick leave. Therefore, he decided to put it all aside for the time being._

_"Yeah, they don't make these chairs like they do in first class-" Lavi's eye widened, and his joy spiked abnormally high again. "You have to try the seats in first class! It's like your rear-end is sitting on Heaven!" Gradually, his expression and eyes drifted into a dreamy state, and eventually all anyone could see of his head was the neck; the rest was in the clouds._

_Still giggling, Areanna stared at Lavi curiously. "Hey Lavi? Are you okay?"_

_The effect of Areanna's words was like a dagger (Geddit) shoved through his thought's heart. "Huh?" He said confoundedly. "Sorry, I was just thinking about this one time when I was sitting in first class I met this _beautiful_ girl..." And so Lavi began his story, not even noticing the train pulling into the station from being too absorbed._

_Areanna, having not been so, grabbed Lavi by his arm and yanked him onto the train._

"_Day dream on the way." She commanded outwardly. "I'd rather not sit around for another day or so. "_

_When the conductor said 'tickets,' Lavi physically said 'Imma just flash you this Rose Cross that was in my pocket the whole time.'_

_They were lead to first class, which as Lavi explained was a standard way of traveling for Exorcists. The man who lead them there bowed, spoke his gratitude at having such important people aboard his train, (With a slightly evil smirk Lavi noticed nearly worryingly) and went back the way he came. In a flash upon opening the door to the room, Lavi was sitting on the chair, eye closed in what appeared to be a 'private moment.'_

_"Sit~," Lavi said dreamily, expression matching it perfectly, "it's so~~ goo~~~~~d." He moaned out, releasing a rather suggestive, shaky breath by the end. (ERHMEGERD, WHY IS NERWON THURT'S WHURT SHUR SURD-ING HIRM? – _Adam_)_

_At his tone, she blushed lightly, and whilst approaching a sit across from him, giggled._

"_Oh my god!" She exclaimed upon seeing just what Lavi was talking about. "It's like I'm sitting on a cloud made of marshmallows which are made of smaller clouds!" (Dafuq? – _Adam_)_

_**AT PLACE THAT HAS MOAR PEOPLEZ AND IS A TRAIN IN IT OR MOAR SPECIFICALLY THE JANITORS CLOSET**_

_"We ready to go?"_

_The closet all three men were in was especially cramped. None of them could move to any 'write home to their mother' degree, or anything even close to that. For one of them it was so bad he could only breathe through his nose, and had what felt like a wooden shaft dangerously close to his arsehole._

_The one who spoke was their leader, of who was busy squished between Dick Churney and Phil 'Darkside' (Neither of them knew his last name). The former, also stuck, only between afore mentioned broom and said leader, and the latter was crushed between a wall lined with various janitorial items and again, his leader. They were his accomplices in crime, in more ways than just metaphorically._

_Physically, they shared no traits; the Leader was taller than Dick Churney, of who was in turn taller than Phil, and so and so forth. However, beyond their physiques, what they did have in common were the items they wore, and held._

_All three wore typical Train robbers attire, only a tad more English. In place of a cowboy hat was a Tophat, and in place of a stereotypical facecloth was a scarf that functioned just as effectively, if not more stylishly, and this pattern continued._

_What they held was bound to get a shot (Geddit) out of anybody:_

_Guns. They were all carrying fully loaded, well-maintained, guns._

_And, if they were anything, then they were proficient with shooting things._

_Specifically, people._

_More specifically, passengers._

_"Yeah," quipped Phil, "we're ready._

_It's about time we performed a good ol' fashioned Train Robbery."_

_**WITH THE NEW TWO'S COMPANY**_

_"Do you get the feeling that something really, really bad is about to happen, and by mentioning its existence that it's going to get even worse?" Lavi said randomly, breaking the strangely comfortable silence that had descended on the room._

_From the window, the Bookman heir's travel companion's attention went to him. "Yeah... but do you realize you might have made it worse by saying that?"_

_All retorts Lavi had were outbid by a shrug. "I think so..." He murmured. "Hold me in case this train never reaches the station?" His proposition was laced with hope._

_She giggled, made a dismissive gesture, and ended her turn. "The train'll make it. I'm sure of it."_

_What Areanna didn't know, could hurt her, it seemed._

* * *

_**WITH ADAM AND WOLF**_

* * *

"You know, I'd be enjoying this little 'bonding' session the Earl was so adamant about putting you and me in if you would _talk_. Seriously, so far you haven't laughed at any of my brilliant jokes. The hell is wrong with you? Are you secretly a brick cosplaying as a Noah?"

"I'm not a brick." Wolf grumbled.

"I didn't catch that. You've got to speak up!" Adam shouted in his ear.

"I SAID I'M NOT A BRICK!"

Adam jumped back. "It was just a joke. Is it your time of the month?"

"It's going to be your last month if you don't back off. Do you even comprehend how hard it is to be around innocence, let alone innocence that is the polar opposite of my Noah abilities?!"

Adam, in a mocking pose, retorted, "oh look we got a Badass ova he~re."  
When Wolf looked overly ready to kill him, he quickly added, "I meant that as a compliment, geez! Why does everyone take everything I do as an insult? Just because I'm being sarcastic, act mocking and am actually insulting you doesn't mean you have to take it like that! What ever happened to retorting sarcastically? Did it 'die' like your grandmother? Alone and forgotten?"

The temperature around them dropped a couple degrees, specifically it dropped to 32 degrees. Water vapor condensed, froze, and hovered around Adam.

"Nine minutes eighteen seconds! Nine minutes eighteen seconds! Nine minutes eighteen seconds!"

"What happens at Nine minutes eighteen seconds?"

Wolf turned to Adam. "It's how long I hope it takes for you to get yourself killed, you idiotic, neanderthalic, annoying, narcissistic, shotforbrains, turncoat, exorcist-turned-Noah, BASTARD!"

"Wow there! What's with the sudden hostility, my brother from another father, mother, country, religion, and time?"

Wolf seemed to calm down a bit, letting the temperature return to normal and the admittedly unintimidating ice balls melted.

"It's not you, it's Moore. There was recent...incident involving the Earl making something he can't control."

Adam developed a shit eating grin, which he always has, but was just more noticeable. "I tell him he can't break the will of every child he abducts."

"Yeah well that wasn't the problem for once. You see, the Earl ended up knocked out, so Moore and I had to wake him up or everyone in the Ark would have died. I tell her to use the smelling salt on him, and the woman rams the bottle up the Earls nose! When he comes to, and even though i was the one who had to save us from Earl's crazy new prototype Akuma, Moore put the blame on me for ramming the salt up his nose. Do you know what the Earl did to me?"

"Do you think it still counts as rape if someone is forcing something non-physical into a different hole…..."

"He banned me from my own kitchen AND from sandwiches. The Akuma have been programmed to destroy anything put between two slices of bread, and I am going into SANDVICH WITHDRAWAL!"

Adam debated whether to console the strange Noah or openly laugh at him. He settled for consoling him in a manner that would make him very laughable.

"Have you tried using something besides bread?"

Wolf face paled, not as in he was changing to his Noah form, but as he was told his problem was so simple to solve that he was being a major idiot.

His response was fitting.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Adam blinked profoundly, and stopped himself short of grinning so evilly that it might give the Earl a run for his money. The grin still would scare the shit out of an ordinary person though, FYI, so don't start getting vile (geddit) thoughts.

"Oookay. You know, for an asshole with a short temper, annoying voice, stupid looking face, more than likely no sack and or shaft, and a brain akin to a brick, you flew pretty good." Blink. "Wait. Wrong reference. Woops. What I meant to say was that for an asswhore with a short temper, annoying voice, stupid looking face, sounding name, clothes, more than likely no sack and or shaft, and a brain akin to a brick, you're pretty decent at comebacks." With a triumphant smirk, he continued his already long winded speech. "However, are you sure that you can do good comebacks without clothes?"

Cue anime flashing kanji for 'missing' around Wolf's pants. "When did you-" his question was then blocked by Adam's pre-emptive retort.

"Got a hundred in pick pocketing, bi-otch. You really need to pay more attention to your surroundings. I might just steal the _rest_ of your clothes next, mofo."

"Hundred in pick pocketing?" Wolf tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Well these gloves give me plus 10 to unarmed!" Wolf dashed forward and ripped off Adams pants, triggering a full on battle for the clothes of their enemy. By the end they were wearing as much clothing as the gladiators of Spartacus.

Both were secretly hoped that no one caught them 'gaying it up.'

Jinxing works even in thoughts, it seemed however.

* * *

_**WHILEMEAN, IN THE PAST, WHERE SHIT IS GOING DOWN**_

* * *

_"You said they were from the Black Order?" Dick Churney asked their Leader._

_"Yep. I saw the Rose Cross of the red 'ead when he showed it to me after boardin' the train, and that chick is travelin' with him so she must be from the Black Ordar too." The tallest of them, spoke, with an Australian accent._

_"THEN LET'S GO AND FUCK UP THEIR SHIT!" Phil exclaimed enthusiastically, waving his firearm around like he had something to prove._

_"Patience, Darksyde. Patience. People from the Black Ordar aren't to be taken lightleh. Therefore, first thing we do," the group had been traveling whilst taking, and had finally reached one of the passenger sections of the train, "is get us," he opened the door they arrived at, "some human shields."_

_His words caused one Train guard to act as the curious cat, and suffer the same fate. _

_Bullet style._

* * *

_**PRESENTISH**_

* * *

Father Anderson was _not_ having a good day.

At first, actually, it was looking as if it was going to be a good day. He dressed the quickest he ever had; his breakfast tasted extra-delicious for some reason, none of the local kids had written more blasphemy on his front door (He scoffed at the idea that congress would ever allow gay marriage. After all, 'twas it not the first step towards Anarchy?), and top his morning all off, when he reached the church he did his priest duties at, there was a celebration due to it being his 15th anniversary since becoming a servant of the Lord. Of course, priests being priests meant a celebration where all everyone did was say quotes from the Bible, and congratulate him upon meeting him; however the thought was what counted as far as Anderson was concerned.

However, things had started to get a little bit out of hand at that point. As he was doing his midday prayer to the Lord, some strange individual had come in and quickly ran up to him. The stranger asked 'where's the Innocence' over and over as Anderson stayed still, shock holding him as such, completely unsure as to how the blood-soaked protestant _hell_ he was supposed to respond.

Then, the stranger, a man with long flowing black hair and a red duster, merely walked off. His change in direction was towards the Cross, located opposite of the entrance and just behind the podium used for sermons, that had recently dragged his attention away from the priest, and Anderson was worrying that something bad might happen. It turns out; even servants of the Lord aren't immune to jinxing, since exactly that happened. The stranger metamorphosed into something only the Devil could have loved, and promptly tried to destroy the Cross.

The reason 'tried to destroy' is there instead of 'destroyed' is elementary.

Simply put? Another priest who appeared to be high on some kind of illegal substance ninja leaped at the stranger, knocking him far away from the Cross. The priest's mouth was filled with froth, his veins and muscles seem to be writing of their own will, and overall he did not look like a happy person.

Anderson recognized the priest, despite the circumstances, as Bob. Bob the priest, one he had been friends with for a while now. He was that one guy who always sat up back for anything, never noticed but merely observed. "Bob..." Anderson whispered, shock still holding him tight.

However, Bob wasn't the only one appearing like he did. The towns people charged in, through the windows, the door, _anywhere _they could come out of they did. The savage-esq people all piled on top of the abomination, all hungry for whatever kind of blood flowed through the veins of the monstrosity.

Anderson, for the first time in years, stared at the mysterious, horrifying sight before him, and ran. Just, ran.

He ran further and faster than he ever thought himself capable of doing, out of the church, out of the block, out of the _town_, and onto the road leading out of it.

Which leads to what just made his day worse.

Of all the times to witness an act against god, he thought, why'd it have to be on the road leading out of this town?

"Why in the blood-soaked protestant hell are you two doing _this_ in the middle of the road?!" A strange, winded priest called out to Adam and Wolf.

Both turned their heads, nearly naked bodies still facing each other, and Adam personally wondering what he could have possibly thought I could be doing nearly naked with another man on top of me.

Wolf jumped off Adam and dove for the bushes, grabbing his clothes along the way.

"It's not what it looks like!" Wolf yelled from the bushes whilst dressing himself. "We just had an arugument that escalated out of hand."

"Oh please~." Adam rolled over and struck a pose for Anderson. "You know you wanted to see me in just my trousers."

"This is not the time, Adam!"

"It's always time to admire mwah~."

"JUST PUT SOME CLOTHES ON BEFORE YOU FLASH THE PRIEST!"

Anderson could _feel_ his eyes roll into the back of his head at the sheer depravity of this, 'Adam' character.

"My milkshake brings all the boys to the road, apparently." Adam quipped prior to sighing, standing up, and then collecting his clothes.

The priest saw far more man ass than he ever wanted to ever believe _existed_ in his life then and there. The priest attempted speech; failed, and went into a cycle of it as Adam collected his clothes from then onward.

"Priest, if you don't mind me asking, why are you here and not at the nearest elementary school?" By the end of his sentence, Adam had sufficiently straightened his collar.

Several seconds later, the words hit the Priest in the head noticeably. "I was..." Fear overran his tone and features. "I was running...from the town...monsters...there was a monster, and then people were attacking him, and they were all monsters, and they were attacking a monster...and he was a monster and they were monsters... and monsters in the town...oh my lord...LORD SAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeee~~~~..." His voice lowered in audibility the further he went down the road, and fairly soon he was nothing more than a screaming, fearful black dot.

Adam blinked (Blunked? - _Adam_) twice. "Ooookay. Wolf, didn't the Earl mention that he would send Akuma into the town to assist us since it was both our first mission? Because I think he did in-between the child molesting."

_**AT THE EARL'S PHONE ROOM, IN THE MORE SO PAST**_

"Adam~, Wolfy-kun~, the Innocence I'm sending both of you after is a...interesting one. It openly displays its power via healing all that come into contact with it, for a price. That price being eternal slavery. Every human that is healed by the Innocence becomes a slave to it. They can't leave the town; they become priests at the Church it hides itself within, and when either comes under attack, such as if Akuma began destroying the town, they all turn into human killing machines. One servant of the Innocence can handle one level two, making attacks against this several hundred strong town...difficult.

Therefore, I will send Akuma as a distraction, meaning when they attack the town, you are to destroy the Innocence. Or, if Adam truly does not have the capabilities of a Noah and therefore cannot destroy it, you are free to leave it where it is. That was the condition of the deal I struck with Adam before, after all." The Earl continued the rocking he had practically trademarked when in that particular chair.

"Go, My Children. Go and either spare, or destroy, the Innocence."

_**NOWISH**_

"This isn't my first rodeo, big gay Al." Wolf snarled as he straightened his coat, stepping out of the bushes. "I've been on plenty of missions, but this is my first with anything besides Akuma for support."

"Glad to be your first." Cue dirtbag eyebrow raising.

"You are just a treat~." Wolf through his own joke back at him. "I hope you'll be able to destroy that innocence while I pretty much single handed hold off a innocence infused army of child molesters."

"Sounds like your entering pedobear heavan."

"And 4kids."

How does he get that reference? Adam thought.

"Do you think we should go before the distraction is over?" Adam spoke.

"Probably." Wolf retorted simply.

"You first." Adam suggested.

"Bitches and little babeh-men first," Wolf's reply contained.

"Precisely why I asked you to go first." The Innocence compatible one of you two said.

"You can suck me as hard as your mother last night."

"Plagiarist."

"You can't copyright those cuffs forward slash phrase."

"Furry."

"Turncoat."

"Pedobear."

"Egotist."

"Pup-erfucker."

"Judas Iscariot."

"Billy Bob Joe."

"What happened to this conversation?"

Adam shrugged, uncaring. "Dunno, don't care. To the town?"

_**AN 'EH, SURE' LATER**_

You know, in life, there are certain things you expect to happen when you learn something new ascertaining to a situation bound to happen. Like, if you learned about the reaction between Water and Oil; the latter would stay atop the former. Or, if you heard about how Thermite was made. If someone combined the components necessary for its creation, you'd expect, well, for it to be damn well _created_.

Therefore, when we, I and Wolf that is, entered a town that when chaos and people were mixed equalled slaves of Innocence, you'd damn well expect them to be as such. Instead, everything was peaceful. Eerily so. Everyone in the town went about their business in such an oddly rehearsed way that they appeared controlled by another person. They kind of were, considering the circumstances, but when you see a child animatronically jump over a cart that was destined to hit him and land flawlessly, without so much as an indication that he had just jumped over an object his height and then some, logic goes and kills itself more or less.

"Where's the distraction?" I whispered to Wolf. Glancing at the top of the hills in the distance, I observed that none of the Akuma was there, when they should be, or rather launching from, to distract the Innocence.\

Something was off; the pit of my stomach said so, at least.

_**OTHER-SIDE OF SAID HILL**_

...CLANG!

Two swordsman's weapons prevented the other from dealing a killing blow. Both weapons trembled with the sheer might being forced into them, one trying to destroy the other. The taller swordsman however was indeed the winner of the struggle, and the shorter one had no choice but to back off.

The shorter swordsman, of who was human (ish) and much more feminine of the two, dashed back. "Che." He said, hair flowing freely after a near miss from a level one destroyed the object holding it in a ponytail earlier in the fight. "First illusion: HELL'S INSECTS!" Said insects swarmed the Akuma swordsman, of who resembled a mock samurai with a badly damaged helmet (peering through the missing half of the helmet would reveal the tell-tale sign of an Akuma; the mask they all wore). He however displayed pure skill in his effortless block of the attack.

"Exorcist," came the deep, heavily Japanese accented voice of the Akuma, "you cannot defeat me. You are nearing your limit, and I am nowhere near it. Giving up is advisable. Your honour would not be stained by such an action."

"Shut up." The reply was gruff, and continued. "I will defeat you, Akuma, no matter the difficulty, no matter the cost!" With that said, a battle cry showed itself and Kanda soon enough was gaining in a desperate, last ditch charge, sword raised like it carried all his hopes and dreams.

Parried, by the Akuma, his attack was. At first, it appeared that Kanda was caught off guard; however a sly smirk showed this was the opposite. The parry had moved Mugen to the right, but Kanda merely spun with the momentum, therefore the Akuma copped an almost fatal slice to his side. It stumbled back and fell onto its gigantic, 8 foot long back. "You…bested me…Exorcist…" Were it not dying, Kanda would have commented on the utter defeat in its voice. "All I ask…now, is for you to…finish me, and restore…what remains of my…honour."

Kanda raised Mugen to stab down into the Akuma's head. "You were a worthy opponent, Akuma." Kanda's praise usually preluded death. Either his own, or his enemy's.

The blade sharply penetrated and was twisted into the Akuma, earning one last spasm from the Akuma, before it promptly died. Kanda had already begun locating his next vict- I mean opponent, as it exploded.

Damnit, Kanda thought, if the idiot beansprout doesn't pull his weight, we'll lose the Innocence to the damn Noah.

With that thought firmly plastered in his head, Kanda sought out someone _else's_ to firmly plaster Mugen in.

* * *

_**THE TRAIN OF MINUS ONE VALUABLE BELONGINGS**_

* * *

_The train descended into chaos without hesitation. It was as if the sound of the gun firing began a race that all the passengers were a part of. Said race's finish line was apparently on the other end of the train, if the people crawling over each other in fear were anything to go by._

_However, blocking their way was Dick Churney, of who brandished a firearm _very_ evidently. "Sorry, folks, but we're going to need you to stay here." Fished out of his pocket was a 4-Pack of an extremely iconic red explosive, typical fuse and all. "Otherwise, I just might have to light this here bomb, and blow you all to hell."_

_The Leader walked down the aisle, kicked over a young man, (and father if the girl with blonde pig tails and a blue dress was any indication), of who had been secretly hiding a knife from his cutlery, and used his hunched over frame as a pedestal._

_"From now on, folks, you're gunna be our hostages." The gun in his hand suddenly lowered, settling over the back of the pedestal/man's head. _

_"Enjoy your stay."_

_**BANG!**_

* * *

_**WITH ADAM AND HIS BITCH (I MEAN AS IN DOG. YOU PEOPLE TAKE THIS TOO SERIOUSLY...)**_

* * *

"Adam, why do I have the urge to yell 'IT'S A TRAP' right now?" Wolf inquired out of the blue.

"Cause you're an ijit and you know it?" I remarked.

"No, but I think something is wrong here."

I stroked an imaginary beard. "Varwe intahwesting." I spoke in a mock Chinese accent. My face furrowed in concern. "I can see what you're getting at though." Instantly, I turned on 'tactician mode'. "The Akuma should be there as it was an order from the Earl himself. However, the only way they'd disobey his orders would be if they were given new orders. New orders would need to, of course, be needed. They'd need to assist us. Protect us, even. From what though...the towns' people aren't riled up and hungry for some Akuma Oil juicies..." The eyes in my head practically fell out of it with how wide they went, and how far forward they drooped. "The Black Order. They must have encountered Exorcists. It couldn't have been on the way here though; the Earl said the Akuma had gotten here before we did." My face changed to minor joy, and major worry. "Exorcists can handle themselves, I'm proof of that. However, now we don't have an escape route. Despite me being American, born and raised, and feeling that slavery is worse than death, I can't bring myself to do anything to people forced into being slaves." And despite what Baron said, I thought silently.

"Wolf," I gazed at him. "If it comes to it, if I end up not being able to get over myself, leave me to the towns' people. If I can't do what's necessary, then I have no place in this war, got it?" My expression showed unusual resolve.

Truth be told, I have faced circumstances during my endeavours in the future where I've had to kill people forced into slavery (Akuma special ability), whether it was his allies or civilians. I didn't like it, but there was no other option, no matter how much I wished there was.

"Adam," Wolf placed a firm hand on his 'siblings' shoulder. "I've really only just met you. It's been hate at first sight. I've been loathing almost every second with you, you clothes stealing moron, so if you are unable to your duty and put down a village of rabid priests, then I would be honoured to leave you behind to get ripped apart, although you do look young enough that they might..."

A hand over Wolf's mouth prevented the rest from coming out. "Think of the f*cking children as*wh*re, geez! The f*ck is wrong with your f*ck mothering piece of sh*t limp d*ck bitch-ass monkey mind? F*cking swear monger, why oh why do I have to think for you..."

Cue Adam grasping his forehead in shame of being near Wolf.

"Guess I'll just have to throw myself to the wolves when the time comes, you're no help. Therefore; thanks for nothing. It really does help, in the same way Global warming 'helps' the Ice Caps."

I left it at that as I trod my way into the town; the search for the Innocence beginning anew.

_**DON'T MIND ME, IMMA LINE BREAK**_

...For the fifth time, I checked both sides of the road, to see if I recognized either of them from previous movements. For the twelfth time, I sighed, agitated.

And, for the billionth time, I whispered "I'm lost," to myself. Checking over my shoulder and seeing Wolf, I spoke to said canid, (I assumed) "we're lost."

I made a statement; not a question.

"Well when nearly every building here has been converted into a church, finding the one with the innocence is going to be difficult." Wolf shrugged. "I've got an idea. Why don't you run across the roof tops and try and find which is the biggest. I'm sure it will have what we're looking for."

"And it will get me spotted."

"See? You find where the all come from, I go there, and you provide a distraction. The perfect plan!"

"Pfft, it can't be perfect because it wasn't made by me, dumbass."

"What do you suggest, then?"

My eyes littered on a family high on their hopes with a sick, but strangely cheery Child in their midst, obviously the next victims of the Innocence.

"I've got one."

_**AN INGENIOUS IDEA IN TERMS OF PLOTTING LATER**_

"When we get back to home, I am going to _fucking bite you._" Wolf growled from his seated position.

"Wud waz dat?" I spoke in the same tone one does to a baby.

Currently Wolf sat, cramped as hell, in a stroller, (The mystery of how I managed to do something like that, let alone get a stroller, remains such to this day) with yours truly pushing it. Wolf made sure to cough occasionally, to add to the 'pleading, sick peasants' image I, single-handedly, had built. The stereotypical clothes of a poor mother helped, actually.

"I said, the next time we enter the front doors of the mansion I will personally shove a grilled cheese sandwich so far up your ass that you will have lung cheese."

A group of slaves, a simple conglomerate of four priests, of various heights, widths and hair colours passed, and I condescendingly patted Wolf's (Who was wearing a bald cap) head. "Aw, aren't you just the cutest my little Wolfy-kun~~..." Unquestioningly, the group passed, and I sighed in relief. "Now, to find someone suitable..."

Sure enough, a priest exclaiming the day's news was known to us, and we approached innocently.

"Please sir, you have to help me," I spoke in the most ludicrous English accent ever conceived, "my baby is sick, and I don't know where the supposed Cross that can heal the lame is." At this, I neared, voice growing many shades more pleading. "Sir, please, _help us,_ he won't survive the week without help." A simple sideways glance from Adam had Wolf break into a considerable coughing fit. "_Please._"

The priest was emotionless before the Innocence computed that humans normally looked sympathetic at such news, and he did so in the weakest expression of it I'd ever seen. If there were any doubt about the Innocence controlling him, they vanished then. "The, church, is, this, _way._" His English was forced; to the point where it was questionable if the man had ever used his tongue before.

We followed; Wolf silently seething, I quietly smirking. I whispered to Wolf, "told ya this would work," when the priest first turned his back and was out of considerable earshot but still visible.

"Forget the grilled cheese. I'm shoving the entire grater and a wheel of gorgonzola so far you'll be pyramid head's new cousin, cheese head!"

"Hey, according to a documentary I watched about some place called 'Honokagakure' or something and Ninjas, Cousins are better than the main family member anyway. Therefore, suck my superior logic."

Wolf turned to the sky with a pleading look. "Earl, if you're watching this, please save me from this imbecile. The similarity between us is beyond disturbing and I'm afraid I may have to neuter him with a rusty knife if he keeps this up." (Already been done by Areanna, or whatever her name is - _Wolf_)(Hey! How did you get into my report? - _Adam_)(Fuck you that's how - _Wolf_)

"Adam smirks at your attempt at humour." I spoke aloud. "My tetanus shot gives plus fifty to tetanus resistance, anyway, so feel free to try."

A dozen rights, lefts, straight-aheads and blocks later we found ourselves at the main Church, and being led into it to boot.

"Over there," the priest gestured to the Cross on the farthest from the door/opposite end, "is the Holy Cross. It can heal the lame, the sick, the unfortunate, anyone. It only asks that you pledge yourself to it in return for its generous offerings." One thing was certain; that specific piece of Innocence was a douche. "Go now, young apostle, and young disciple, and cleanse yourselves on the purity of the Holy Cross. It requests both of your presence." Without grace of any form, the priest left us at the door, disappearing through the old oak entrance faster than his words registered warning bells.

My mind and my gut twisted; the foremost in thought, the latter in fear. I had a sneaking suspicion what this man meant in saying 'apostle' and 'disciple', and it wasn't good.

"Wolf." I whispered. I knew if my theory was correct there wasn't a point in continuing the poor charade anymore. "Cover's more than likely been blown, as you can probably tell. However, if you aren't stupid, then you've probably also realized that we shouldn't just charge in. With the amount of priests here, we'd be stopped in seconds." A simple, short glance in every direction besides behind me only emphasized my point. Rows upon rows of pews were filled; among other things. "Let's humour the Innocence, unless you have a better idea...?"

"No, you should go talk to the cross. You're the one with innocence after all, so it should let you closer before sending the rapists-I mean papists on us. If I walk up to it, it will instantly sick the town on me and force me to kill everyone." Wolf turned to look at him with a menacing smile that would have made Rhode proud. "Everyone in this trash dump of a town filled with zealous bigots fighting for an imaginary man who will fail them and their race at every turn. So," tone turning eerily cheery. "No pressure!"

Eye twitching in sheer annoyance, I returned his 'sentiment's' tone. "Everyone in this trash dump of a town filled with zealous bigots fighting for an imaginary man who will fail them and their race at every turn would /also/ include you, thinking it over, Wolf."

"I have no gods, no masters."

"What about the Earl?" On one hand, having an argument just to make the Innocence think I'm its ally was a good idea. Doing so without telling Wolf that, not so much.

"There is a difference between respecting someone, and worshipping them. Besides, it's the Earl. He is the most powerful being in existence, but his powers don't extend into creation. Although I have yet to see him-"

"Menstruate later; the Innocence is waiting." I disarmed the argument as best I could, hope it would go no farther present in me.

Walking towards the supposed 'Holy Cross' was the shortest, yet somehow longest walk I've ever had.

Arriving at it was far, far tenser. I can't say that the tension was palpable; but I can say it was pretty damn close. Walking felt like swimming, only using just your legs, and breathing had the effect of feeling like you drinking the air.

Somehow though, I felt the compulsion to touch the Cross. Maybe it was the red button effect; even if you don't want to press it due to the consequences from doing so, you just want to, because, well, it's a god damn red button. _Everybody_ touches red buttons.

The urge grew by the second, and it was with a quick glance that I found Wolf was feeling likewise. (You're a Noah after all, but touching it is also how it wants to communication with both of you.)

Despite the conclusion I had reached detailing that the reason I wanted to touch it was to communicate, as Innocence seems to only truly 'talk' with physical contact or other, non-verbal ways, I was hesitant. Maybe my Innocence had done its replication job a little too well, I thought, and now I actually had the urge to destroy the Innocence? No, then I would have lashed out already. The instincts of the Millennium Earl are already hard enough, and I can feel them now, meaning I would have undoubtedly caved.

"Wolf," I began finally, eyes closed and body steeled for my thought outcome. "I'm going to touch it. I'm going to touch it, until I find a way to release its Holy payload. If these guys attack," my hesitation was slight, but obvious nonetheless, "do what you need to."

"Stop," a monotonous voice ordered. "It wants _both_ of you to touch it. To release the white, Holy item, you must both touch it, at the same time."

Raising an eyebrow at Wolf, I returned to the newly appearing priest of who resembled Ichigo from Bleach's dad disturbingly so, "is that a fact...fine then. Wolf," I gestured to the Cross. "Touch it, like you would yourself."

"You mean touch it like I touch your mother?"

"No."

"I don't know if I can control myself. I can see my fist going into it, metal screaming as it's ripped apart by my awesome fist." Wolf whispered to me.

"Fisting fetish? Well, at you're honest. Just think of it this way; if you treat that thing like you would a woman, not your mother though but a real woman, then you're gonna go far, kid." I whispered back.

"Go fuck yourself."

"Your mom will do it for me, Wolf."

"You rotten...oh let's just get this over with!"

Wolf casually, but with more force than necessary, touch the Cross, myself following suit.

The effects, or lack thereof for that matter, were instantaneous. Everything changed. _Everything_. The church literally fell into a never ending void, perfectly downwards, or so it appeared. In truth, I realized with a lurch, we were going _upward_, and everything outside the church became nothing incarnate.

"BRO AM I TRIPPIN' OR WHAT?" I said in my best hippie impression.

This obviously out of his mind and metaphorically given the drugs I must have been taking out of body experience ended when I seemed to reach space.

Briefly, I wondered if the Innocence was going to shout 'SPAAAAAAACE'.

Even more briefly, I realized that I was going to say it anyway when I got the best chance for a renegade interrupt.

Then of course, as soon as the acid trip ended, another bong hit assured me maximum trip-ability.

Hippies, Adam thought absentmindedly, eat your heart out.

What led me to think I was high (again) was the figure before me. Said figure was what appeared to be a hunched over Angel, (Probably threw his back out when hauling Christ's fatass out of heaven on the third day. Lazy bastard; why can't he just pick his own corpse up? - _Adam_) only minus any agony. Still, the figure _physically_ seemed to seethe with anger and resentment via some trick of light. It was when I blinked in surprise that I noticed something had changed about me.

The first hint came in the form of my eye-lashes. When I closed my eyes, they were the same thing he'd seen for years on end. Opening them presented a different story. They had somehow, instantly, elongated, and become far more refined. They were feminine, almost.

The second hint was when I 'eh'-ed in confusion at my suddenly changed eyelashes; therefore finding out my voice had _also_ become more feminine.

The third was what Wolf had shouted upon turning to me.

With wide, disbelieving eyes, Wolf exclaimed, "Adam!? When did you suddenly become hot?!"

The fourth, and most mind-numbingly obvious one, was what the information I gathered from running a hand down my sides had suggested.

I had _breasts_. And cakes good enough to _eat_.

I had, somehow, become a _girl_.

"Humina humina humina humina." Wolf spoke.

* * *

_**SUCK IT BITCHES SCENE CHANGE/OMAKE**_

* * *

"Hey, Adam, where did you get the gloves?" A Chibi Road asked me.

"Oh, these? I wear these so I can use any hand-held Innocence equipment when not in my Exorcist uniform. Otherwise, I'd melt my hands off." I responded, myself also 'Chibi.'

"Why didn't you mention them sooner?"

"Because the Author's a stupid, lazy basta-" And then Adam existed no more.

**_The End. La Fin._**

* * *

**AN: Eh. What can I say? Plot twists left right and center? Did you notice how I changed the POV for Adam between third and first person? **

**It'll all be explained the next chapter. Maybe. Well, probably partially the next chapter. Maybe not even partially. I've opened the Pandora's Box of plot and whatnot for this. Questions you should be asking yourself are something like this:**

**1. Why did the Innocence want to meet Adam and Wolf personally?**

**2. Where and when will Link show up?**

**3. How is what Baron said relevant/will it be relevant?**

**5. Who was that little girl beside the man shot after being used as a pedestal in that one scene?**

**4. And, most importantly, what woman is Adam representing? Think that one over for a little bit. :P**

**For now, ciao. And I do hope you people review and stuff more. FYI, when I get 100 reviews, I'll make and post a mega-chapter (30 thousand word minimum) of a conversation between Adam and Baron. Bribery at its finest~.**

**Seeya, space cowboy.**


	45. Thanks For The Memories-

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

* * *

_Chapter 39: Thanks For The Memories_

* * *

**AN: I am officially a sadist. XD This chapter marks the beginning of a sub-plot, (technically it began back when the apparent father of that girl in the blue dress was shot but, details details :P ) which has me questioning my humanity. I won't say anything like I believe myself to be the most sane individual; however, I will say that I think I was off my rocker more so than usual to dream up the subplot I made. It involves so much horrible stuff that I'm starting to become deeply concerned for the mental well being of myself.**

***Silence***

**HAHAHAHA GOTCHA HAHAHAHA AS IF I WOULD WONDER IF I'M INSANE OR NOT HAHAHAHA VOTE DAMN YOU HAHAHAHA AND REVIEW HAHAHAHA and stuff.**

**Chapter is barely pushing three thou, so sorry for the light update, but the speed me thinks makes it worth it. Otherwise, it would have taken a loooooong while for it to be released. Besides, having another chapter makes things...easier, the best way to put it is. :P**

**Also, I revised chapter 2. You might want to check that out; it involves the set up for some stuff that occurs later in the story, more when the plot flashes between past and future and whatnot.**

**Also also, but yeah. I wasn't kidding when I said that the subplot is beginning to make me feel like an awful person. That's what you guess for having the conscience that bothers you for doing something as significant as crushing an ant, though. :P **

**Done whilst listening:**

_**Like A Boss**_**by _Lonely Island_**

**_Down With The Sickness _by _Disturbed_**

**And:**

_**Somebody Kill Me Please**_**by _Adam Sandler_, sang during 'The Wedding Singer' I believe**

**Anyway, LETS ROCK!**

* * *

I just might have to thank whatever damn scientist made this 'core' of mine, Kanda thought with disdain, without it, my eyesight would have given out long ago.

Kanda's gaze hadn't been broken in quite a while.

The why was simple; the accursed _beansprout._

At first, when they got their mission, Allen was just as adamant about not wanting to work with him as he was in turn. Damn that Beansprout, he thought. His naivety made Kanda's blood boil, his hand reach for Mugen, and general unpleasantness indeed. That changed after Allen and himself were informed that intelligence reported a boy with unimaginably dark hair traveling with another unknown individual, however, towards the Town.

Instantly, Allen had become rigid, and accepted the mission in a superficial, animatedly polite manner.

Whatever god damn problems that Beansprout has, the to-the-best-of-his-knowledge only surviving member of the Second Exorcist thought, he doesn't need to act like he's the only one with it.

To be frank, the nerve of the beansprout, acting as though he was the only one with problems, as though he was the only one who had faced hardship, the only who faced _problems,_ practically pissed directly on Kanda's life.

He had endured daily torture, of both the mind and body, loneliness, and that god damn _cold_ that no matter what chilled him, and the beansprout thought he could just walk around like a pathetic child?

No, not if Kanda had anything to say about.

Something else that he had no say in led to the next order of business:

The mission.

It was to a town Komui had said was the centre of several phenomenon. The sick, no matter how much so, were healed, legitimately, whenever they were placed before the Cross in the main-most Church (the town was made of them) directly in the, somewhat funnily, centre of town.

Not to mention the reports of 'savage beasts' attacking Akuma whenever they attempted to destroy the town and or retrieve the Innocence. Komui lacked conclusive reports, but he had a rough guess of just what the 'savage beasts' were.

"The Towns people." Komui had said.

"I believe the Innocence has forcefully enslaved the Town into doing its bidding. It's the only explanation. Finders who went there are reported to have been offered a chance to be 'cleansed' in exchange for a position at the church. Given the semi conclusive reports detailing the savage beasts wearing what appeared to be priest outfits, I find it to be the only logical step."

"If they interfere, then they're _dead._" Kanda had retorted simply.

Sure as the dawn, Allen had spoken in that annoying beansprout voice of his in protest.

"Kanda, they probably didn't want to be slaves, and they surely don't want to be killed either."

"Then, if they start attacking, I'll leave you for them, Beansprout." Kanda replied coldly. (Irrrronyyyy – _Adam_)

Silence had become the rooms denominator as unseen, but certainly felt, electricity coursed between the two Exorcists.

"My name's Allen, Bakanda, but of course I don't expect an idiot like _you_ to remember." Allen seethed.

"Keep making remarks like that, there won't be much left of your already pathetically small body, _Beansprout._" Kanda remarked.

And so on and so forth.

Komui sighed whilst adjusting his glasses; finding this far more bothersome than concerning.

The only thing concerning him was the current mental status of his sister, but that's a story for another time.

"Allen. Kanda. _Mission._" The simple nudge had broken the cycle; for now, anyway. Kanda, with his normal arrogant gait, strode outside. Allen, with his abnormally polite strides, reached it before him, and soon enough a silent contest had been made the second their eyes met and they were outside; a contest to determine the slowest between them.

Komui could hear the explosions from his office.

That led to the circumstances leading up to currently.

Allen and Kanda had only recently engaged in the biggest, longest, and hardest (PAENUS – _Adam_) fight either of them had been in. In Mater, one level two had proven to be a match for Allen, and Kanda had only admitted his defeat on the condition that he admit also he had been caught off-guard. Blaming the Beansprout had come secondary to that, this instance.

The amount there had Allen halting; the Finders assigned to support them going numb in terror and paling; and even Kanda going wide-eyed.

For only the second time in Kanda's life, he had felt his body tense uncontrollably, his instincts instead of telling him _forward _shouting _backwards_, and all sorts of fear sprouting from every fibre of him.

The only other time he had borne witness to a sight that had incited the same reaction was when Alma had smiled at him, Scientist impaled on his wings, and many, many more littering the ground, back when he was alive.

Kanda had never seen that much blood in his life; and he preferred to keep it that way.

However, he was an Exorcist; and Exorcists destroy Akuma. Kanda has had that fact ingrained into him for many years; and he wasn't going to let the threat of death stop him from fighting.

Indeed, as an Exorcist, despite finding the odds impossible, the second Kanda and Allen had sighted the Akuma in the horizon, approaching them with clear murderous intent, he did one thing and one thing simply.

He unsheathed Mugen, and said, "try to stay out of my way, Beansprout." (That's two – _Adam_)(I can still write you ending up with Baron, you know – _God (ish_)(… - _Adam_)(What? Old paedophile got your tongue? – _God (ish_)

And so, the Exorcists attacked. An immovable object met an unstoppable force, and for once it all of its existence, physics was broken. The unstoppable force annihilated the immovable object; scrap metal the only remnants. (And all because tactically it was better for them to approach the town from the hill. Interesting, that – _Komui_)

The battle had exhausted the Exorcists; Kanda's clothing and stamina had been annihilated, with the exception of his pants, and Allen was extremely worse for wear. The boy appeared to be on the verge of _death_, but kept walking through pure willpower. Kanda being Kanda found this to be annoying and decided to let him know that.

And therein was the current situation:

Kanda chewing Allen out for being lazy.

"YOU STUPID BEANSPROUT!" Kanda's throat would regenerate; no matter how much he yelled, therefore he didn't bother controlling it. "I HAD TO KILL TWICE AS MANY AS YOU, YOU LAZY BASTARD! WHY DON'T YOU TRY PULLING YOUR OWN WEIGHT FOR ONCE!?"

Allen had responded in the almost the same tone; but not as loud.

"You must have been dropped on your head a lot-" considering how the experiments often included Kanda face down in the ground, possibly, -"Bakanda. If you could count correctly, then you'd know that I had to save at least _three times _as many Akuma as you!"

"EN GARDE, YOU LAZY BASTARD!"

"My name's Allen, _retard!_" (**AN: Don't hate me; hate the English subs!**)

"KEEP TALKING AND I'LL REMOVE THAT WORTHLESS SPINE OF YOURS!"

Nonchalant, but still mockingly, Allen shrugged. "Spines aren't worth that much nowadays. You'd earn more from selling your pea-sized brain, Bakanda."

"YEAH, WELL-" the following statement is not approved by YO MOMMA, "-YO MOMMA SO FAT BECAUSE SHE EATS LOTS OF FOOD!"

Confounded silence filled the air.

(Did he just…? – _Adam_)

(I think he did… - _Baron_)

(BURN THE PLAGERIST! – _Adam_)

(HANDGUNS, _LOADED_, ONLY 14.99! – _Baron_)

Allen _blinked. _"Wha-"

* * *

_**H&R MOTHERF*CKING BLOCK**_

* * *

_MAGARITA!_

_No more mother!_

_You shit a nutty book,_

_Oh WAH!?_

_Oh, Mori dated_

_Ooo, Mino Knocka!_

_A booty tear about your knee._

_*breath*_

_Don't wanna stare._

_She came out and took home my date._

_We got eat Tony's Schnitzel._

_Bee nose SUPER!_

_Lay the lamb!_

_She's got a point!_

_A GAY!_

* * *

_**LOLWUT**_

* * *

"To town, Sir Exorcists?" The Finder inquired, nudging both individuals lightly.

That broke them both out of their shocked trance; Allen almost falling over in contrast to Kanda's quick posture regaining.

"Right, the mission." Allen said more to himself than anyone else. "Please lead the way, Finder."

* * *

_**ADAM AND WOLF**_

* * *

"Logic," Adam bit back a wolf whistle at the pure velvet voice he now had. "If you're still up there somewhere, please come back to us. Your cousin indecisiveness may be a meany, but reason and 'ef it all I'm just going to do what I want' still love you."

"If I wasn't holding out for that beast of a woman Lulubell, I'd fuck the red right out of you." Wolf said randomly.

Despite what one may think; Wolf's comment may not inherently have been singular. That is to say; Wolf wasn't wrong in saying she _hawt._

The hair she bore was a still fire; her eyes, the complete inverse; _ice _incarnate.

**'ENOUGH.'** The voice thundered through the blank space; its origin being all, and none, of it.

All eyes went to the Angel statue, oddly.

**'APOSTLE, DISCIPLE,-'**

"Wait wait wait." Adam interrupted, hands shaking. "Who's the Apostle, who's the disciple? We both could be qualified as either."

**'YOU ARE THE DISCIPLE; HE IS THE APOSTLE, TRAITOR.'**

An eyebrow quirked, Adam retorted, "technically I am a he, and you don't address us either by name, so I can't tell just who is who. Can you be more specific?"

**'YOU, THE ONE WHO ASKS SUCH STUPID, MEANINGLESS QUESTIONS, ARE THE SUBJECT OF MY WORDS. THEREFORE, YOU ARE THE DISCIPLE, TRAITOR. HE, THE FILTH OVER THERE, MAKING THAT REPETITIVE NOISE 'HUMINA HUMINA HUMINA', IS THE APOSTLE.'**

Contemplative silence overcame Adam. "So does that make me Ginyu?"

**'SHUT UP, TRAITOR.'**

"Meany." Adam, adorably given his gender change, pouted and crossed his arms. Speaking of his body; his chest had become more...restricted, or so it seemed beneath his shirt tailor vest. He didn't have to look down (anymore at least, since crossing his arms) to know of the mounds protruding from his chest. Petite, yes they were, but hot _damn_ did they make his shirt comfortable.

**'TRAITOROUS SCUM DOES NOT HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO INSULT ME.'** The 'Angel' (A term Adam applied with heavy sarcasm) exclaimed.

"Oh look, we got a Badass ovah he~re." Said hermaphrodite taunted. (… - _Adam_)(What? I'm telling the truth. – _Baron_)(No, just…no – _Adam_)

No comment was retorted against his/hers. **'WHY DO YOU NOT RESPOND, TRAITOR? YOU LET YOUR HOST DEFEND YOU? A PATHETIC HUMAN, OF ALL THINGS? AN ESPECIALLY **_**STUPID**_** ONE AS WELL? HAS SANITY FORGOTTEN YOU AFTER SEVEN THOUSAND YEARS OF GUILT?'**

**"I do not need another to speak for me, nor do I justify or regret my actions seven thousand years ago, Orochi."** Through another being's will, Adam's mouth said. Afore mentioned (kind of) Exorcist's face twisted in confusion. Did I just talk without thinking? He thought, before shaking his head, the last movement he found himself capable of doing. Ironic, but not the point.

Wolf was silent. For now.

'**YOU STILL CLING TO THAT ABYSMAL EXCUSE THEN, I PRESUME?'**

"**An excuse is a reason not thought as such by others, nothing more. Therefore, yes, I do 'cling' to 'that excuse', after seven thousand years."** The way she spoke, this, woman controlling Adam's mouth, reminded him of someone French strangely…

"You can cling to me all you want." Wolf relished giving female Adam everything the normal Adam deserved. Can't wait until we start going for the clothes again, Wolf thought.

A glare that said 'shut up' followed through.

'**AFTER SEVEN THOUSAND YEARS, YOU TRUTHFULLY STILL DO NOT REGRET BETRAYING YOUR OWN KIND?'**

An expression, laced with seven thousand years of anger, spoke volumes before Adam's mouth did. **"My 'kind' deserved the consequences for their actions."**

'**I SEE. AND NOW YOU'VE GONE AND CORRUPTED YET ANOTHER FOR YOUR CAUSE OF DESTRUCTION. TELL ME, THEN, WHAT LIFE WAS HE TO LEAD BEFORE YOU CAME ALONG AND ANNIHILATED IT? SOMEONE SUCCESSFUL? FAMOUS? **_**HAPPY?**_** DID THAT MAKE IT ALL THE BETTER WHEN YOU CHOSE HIM AS YOUR WIELDER, TO HAVE DENIED HIM A LIFE OF JOY? DID IT FILL THAT HOLE WITHIN YOURSELF TO HAVE SOMEONE ELSE SUFFER AS YOU HAVE? DID IT MAKE YOU **_**HAPPY?**_**'**

"**I do not explain myself to you." **An alien, sadistic smirk came into existence. **"I will admit though that it was…entertaining, to deny this boy's life."**

"Does that make you a masochist or sadist for enjoying ruining your own life?" Wolf pondered aloud until that alien smirk turned to him and shut him up.

'**IF I AM THEN TO UNDERSTAND CORRECTLY,'** the directionless voice began, steadily gaining 'momentum', **'YOU HAVE NOT COME TO REGRET BETRAYING YOUR KIND, ARE CURRENTLY DOING SO BY SIDING WITH THE FALSE APOSTLES, AND HAVE DESTROYED THE LIFE OF YET ANOTHER INNOCENT. YOUR ACTIONS AGAINST GOD WARRANT **_**DEATH.**_**'**

Despite what one may believe due to the words exchanged, Orochi had more to say.

'**HOWEVER, IN A RARE OPPORTUNITY, YOUR DEATH WILL COINCIDE WITH A FALSE APOSTLE.'** At that, the Angel stature began metamorphosing. When it continued, its body began resembling a Dragon more and more. **'I HEREBY ENACT THE JUDGEMENT OF GOD UPON BOTH OF YOU,'** its head split into eight, **'MAY BOTH OF YOUR SOULS NEVER REST PEACEFULLY,' **the tail followed suit, **'IN THE DEEPEST PITS OF **_**HELL. RETURN TO THE RAGING INFERNO FROM WHENCE YOU CAME, HELLSPAWN!**_**'**

Monstrously, the now fully metamorphosed Dragon _roared_, beyond monstrously; beyond sanely.

'**AAAAAAAAAMEN!'**

* * *

_**THE TRAIN BANDITS**_

* * *

The Leader of the bandits stood before his subordinates; their hostages all cowering fearfully in the background.

"Churney, Phil, take a meat shield each, and bring me the Black Ordar membahs." He smirked, crookedly. "The Vatican'll pay top dollah for 'em."

After both saying 'yes, sir' in their own unique way (IE Phil shouting "LET'S FUCK SHIT UP" and Churney actually saying such) came about, they proceeded to fulfil their leader's orders.

"Alrighty." He swung himself around, almost like a dictator, to face the passengers/hostages. "You all probabley now the stereotypical drill. Anyone moves they stop moving shortley afterwards, courtesy of a bullet. Anyone makes a run for it, they get to know to what death's like. And, most importantlay, if anyone insults me about my accent," his expression became pure fury. "Then I'll cut 'cha fucking balls off and feed 'em to ya. Or, if you're lackin' in that department, I break your fuckin' hymen, or if that's already broken, I'll settle for ya skull."

Much to the woes of the hostages, he became cheery. "Any questions?" A collective, silent, shocked stare let him now their answer. "Good. I forgot to mention, ask me a question, and I let ya go."

The passengers had a black sheep, if the stupidest and most hopeful, appearing one of them suddenly standing up was anything to go by. "W-wait! I have a question!"

Sickeningly sweet, almost in anticipation, the Australian smiled. "Yes?"

"What-" His question was 'answered' before he even had a chance to blink. He fell, limply, onto the ground, before the girl who earlier had ostensibly lost her father, hole in his head the only indication of the cause.

"-Does getting shot in the fuckin' head feel like?" He 'finished', holstering the gun he held. "There, I answered your question. Anyone else want to waste my time?"

A second, even more frightened collective silence relinquished an answer.

As though his actions were on a re-run, he smiled happily again. "Good. Now, if you folks will please be patient like good hostages, and wait for my associates to return, then I won't shoot any more of ya."

A woman, adjacent to crying, gazed no further than the recently shot man. Obviously, he was the man's wife. Now the man's Widow, the man that caused said situation mentally quipped.

"Oh, and I _hate_ cryin', so if you do, expect a bullet." It was this encouragement to an already unstable Widow that led her to cry.

Whether she did so with the intention of being shot or not is anyone's guess.

However, as he aimed for a headshot, another body leapt into his sights.

More specifically, a child's body.

"S-Stop." The distressed girl wearing a blue dress said with almost broken determination. "I," her small hands out stretched to ensure maximum coverage of the lamenting Widow clenched, and her determination came in through fierce eyes and sharp words. "Stop it. If you're going to shoot someone, shoot me."

With far more evil than should be mortally possible, the man grinned. "I'd gladly do it, if one of my other rules didn't cover this kind of punishment."

_"__You moved, and you're a girl, so..."_ A fresh salve of saliva covered his lips; his fetid tongue the culprit. 

**"_I break your fuckin' hymen._"**

* * *

**AN: You've seen one cliffhanger, but never two! Now, you'll have to wait for the exciting continuation (ish) for both of them to continue! MWUAHAHAHA!  
**

**Ah, but before I go:**

**Happy Valentines Day! (This may be three days later, but fug it, I couldn't do it live.)**

**And also:**

**VOTE AND REVIEW DAMN YOU! MESA WANTSA TO BE TOLDA WHATA YOUA THINKA OF MESA WORKA!**


	46. Round 1: FIGHT!

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

_Chapter 40: Round 1: FIGHT!_

* * *

**AN: Hurro readers. I just want to welcome you all to a brand new chapter.**

**Apologies for being away for so long, and for the shortness of this chapter; simply put, writing stopped being my passtime for a bit for school reasons, and I knew that if I didn't release this chapter now I wouldn't release it for a long, long while.**

**Anyway, I want to thank all 13 followers of this story for doing so, and the 14 people who favourited this story too. Much appreciated'.**

**Speaking of things I appreciate; getting reviews. Now, guys. I will be firm and truthful with this. I want reviews. Not flimsy, one sentence 'this is good' crap, but a _review_; something that tells me how well I'm doing (or not :P ) and whatnot. Be as hurtful as you like; so long as its constructive, I'm good.**

**Response to Vinety's annonymous review: Thanks for the compliment; when I write, I write with my heart and soul mixed in. I like to think that because of it, I do better than at the very least crappy fanfictions, but not quite high-end admittedly.**

**On a slightly more pleasant note: Your Humble, Amazingly Astoundingly talented Author has got Pizza~~~ at the moment of typing this. So, whilst people are starving to death, I'll be enjoying my pizza. Perhaps I'll think of them as I eat. Or some other kind of KOTOR reference. *Homer 'aggggh' noise***

**Anyway, later.**

* * *

'**AAAAAAAAMEN!'**

Orochi's, the (basically) dictator of the Town overrun with Innocence enhanced slaves, roar began an elegant dance.

A dance of death.

(Shit just got real – _Adam_)

The hands drawn into a stance found purchase on the hilt of a newly conjured blade, which deflected the literal fire of the pre-emptive strike, scorching the already black surfaces either side of said Innocence-wielder.

The blade was a fire colour scheme but otherwise carbon copy of the Earl's; down to the last molecule of menacing aura it exuded.

'**YOU USE YOURSELF AS A WEAPON? SUCH IRONY WILL ONLY BE OUTSHONE BY ME **_**FLAMES!**_**' **Orochi bellowed.

"**After seven thousand years, you have only become more complacent, Orochi." **Almost in anger, the fire intensified, throwing Adam back.

_Barely._

"**And weaker."**

The flames condensed and fired directly into the blades edge; pushing Adam back exponentially further and faster than the untrained eye could follow.

Wolf ducked and dived as Adam, then the beam of fire (More akin to an orange laser, really), barely missed him. 'On one hand,' he thought, 'I could get to watch as my hawt brother in law is gradually stripped of his clothing, leaving him in nothing more than his underwear. Hm…' a brief scene of an almost nude 'lady' Adam only _just _covering him/herself went through his mind. 'Or I can help.'

The answer came instantly.

'Helping is too main-stream, anyway.'

There was no soft landing for the Innocence-wielder; all he/she got was a quadruple no hands tumble and eventual head-bumping stop. The blood spewing from her/his mouth almost landed on his/her tongue; which quickly shied away from it, noticeably.

**Can't have **_**her **_**awaken now of all times**, the 'female' Innocence controlling Adam's body thought.

'**CARE TO TELL ME HOW WEAK I'VE GOTTEN WITH BLOOD SPEWING FROM YOUR HOST'S MOUTH NOW, P-'**

The sentence didn't continue; it couldn't, from that current head.

Decapitation does that to ya.

In a flash; or rather, faster than one, Adam had stood and instant transmission-ed (FAPP: For all practical purposes) behind Orochi. The next instant, one of his eight heads was missing, and found rolling on the floor immediately afterwards.

The not-even-glancing-at-his-work-like-a-boss perpetrator merely quipped, **"I believe that answers your question."**

All able-bodied heads on the Dragon spun to breathe more fire onto Adam; only to find him gone again. **"Always, with your speed, you can't beat me, Orochi."**

_SLASH! _Another head fell to the floor, blade having cut the link between it and all that held it up. **"It was your choice to fight me, Orochi."**

_SLICESLICESLICESLASHSLASHSLI CE!_ At a pace that would have made Speed Racer proud, the heads subsequently fell off.

The body of the Dragon seemed unwilling to accept its heads fate, but eventually gave in, and crashed in a heap.

All was silent, eerily so from pile of flesh. The 'aura' so to speak hadn't dissipated at all; and it was with widening eyes that Adam realised why.

**He isn't dead. He's **_**regenerating**_. No sooner had the connection been made had the Dragons' heads returned to their place, whilst said beast was rising again, in more ways than one.

'**IT WILL TAKE FAR MORE THAN THAT TO STOP ME, TRAITOR.'**

The magnificently terrifying beast rose fully; the shadow being cast eclipsing, and a great deal more than just, Adam.

The mock Millennium Earl blade being twirled in his hands and then caught outstretched towards the Dragon was his physical response.

Verbally, it went a little something like that this:

"**Then I will apply said more."**

Fire exuding heavily from Adam dwarfed the casted shadow; turning it into nothing more than a fleeing, speck of a being.

The orange body began taking a more refined shape; namely, a bird.

More specifically, a _Phoenix._

'**IF THAT IS HOW YOU WISH TO FIGHT, THEN I WILL RETURN THE FAVOUR AND RELEASE ALL MY POWER AS WELL, TRAITOR.'**

Profoundly, the Dragon reared back, bellowing, whilst its presence seemed to grow larger and larger, its flesh-like scales becoming much more metallic in appearance.

When the Dragon was done transforming, it and the Phoenix were on equal terms for height. The Dragon, in all his golden-orange glory, faced down the red-orange Phoenix, in all its power.

Said power had created a substantial _wind_, almost knocking Wolf over until an ice pillar had ensured he had cover.

The rustling of power against power created so much friction the air became thick with pure energy; electricity flailing madly.

'_**THE POWER OF THE DRAGON WILL DESTROY YOU, TRAITOR! AND YOUR HOST!'**_ The eight headed creature boasted.

During the entire process of releasing his/her power completely, her/his eyes had been closed in pure concentration.

Now, they were open, and for anyone observing, they would have sworn they were staring at the pits of _hell._

"**DO NOT UNDER ESTIMATE THE FOURTH INVOCATION, OROCHI! SPEAKING OF WHICH:**

**FOURTH INVOCATION:" **a fire replication of the Earl's Sword, only many, many times larger, came into existence above 'Adam', **"PURGING FLAMES!" **The fire blade _glowed_, and changed from its almost red self into a daunting blue.

They clashed; climactically. The Dragon's power of flames had rushed for the boy. The blade deflected the stream as he came in close. A vicious swipe from the Dragon's claws later and it was missing one, courtesy of the unearthly fire blade that pierced through the Dragon's side.

The first conjured blade aimed downwards; straight for the body of the screaming Dragon.

_KTCH! _The blade fell onto, and _into_, the Dragon's body, making a perfect Holy Cross with the help of the second blade.

A cross shaped sign was made with Adam's hand.

"**PURGE!"**

Orochi's roars of agony were unparalleled as his insides were 'purged' in fire; his bones turned to ash and as his skin melted into _nothingness._

The swords followed in their victim's 'footsteps', (he didn't have feet anymore after all) leaving an unamused Adam staring blankly at the dust pile.

"**Get up. I incinerated you, but didn't destroy you. If I had, then we would have left this dimension."**

Responding, grudgingly, to her/his command almost, the Dragon's ashes came together in its image; eventually making a solid object.

'**IF YOU ARE SO DETERMINED TO DESTROY ME, TRAITOR, THEN YOU WILL NOW MY TRUE STRENGTH.'**

In understanding and slight fear, Adam's brow rose. A reassuming a battle-stance a weapon later and the brow had been drawn back in a seven thousand year old scowl.

"**You use your own life force to defeat me, Orochi." **It wasn't a question. **"You are a fool." **That wasn't a question either.

However, as he/she spoke, the Innocence in question flared in brilliant Golden-orange, for what may very well be the last time in its life.

'**WHATEVER IT TAKES TO DESTROY YOU, TRAITOR.'**

Quickly, as though a veil had been lifted, the cloak of power became astoundingly _green_, and grew at least a hundred times in size.

'**RELEASE YOUR COMPLETE POWER, TRAITOR, AND WE SHALL SEE WHO HAS BECOME THE GREATER ENTITY AFTER ALL THESE YEARS.'**

When his/her only reaction was to further draw back in a battle stance, the Dragon, in its deep, guttural voice let out was could have passed for an 'ahhh'.

'**YOU HAVE BOUND YOURSELF BEYOND PHYSICALLY TO YOUR HOST, HAVEN'T YOU? YOU'RE BOUND TO HIS **_**SOUL**_**. YOU **_**DARE **_**DESECRATE THE STEPS? YOU ARE EVEN MORE OF AN ENEMY TO ALL OF **_**MY **_**KIND THAN I THOUGHT. I **_**MUST**_** ELIMINATE YOU NOW; NO MATTER THE COST.'**

If the last batch of power he released was a trickle, then next was the torrential downpour. His green shroud expanded exponentially, almost encompassing Wolf, despite being at least at least a surmountable distance away.

'His power level. It's. IT'S.' Wolf thought.

'1006.'

"**Despite what you're more than likely thinking,"** Adam began in a dull tone, **"I haven't taken the final step with my host." **

Mockingly, she/he added with a smirk, **"yet."**

"Isn't that called when you do it by yourself 'jerking it good'?" Wolf called out.

'**SHUT UP, APOSTLE OF A FALSE GOD.'**

"WHO YOU CALLIN' APOSTLE OF A FALSE GOD, SERVANT OF AN ACUTALLY FALSE ONE?" (Anyone else getting Déjà vu? – _Adam_)

'**WHO ARE YOU TO CALL ME SERVANT, TYRRANT'S TOOL?' **(Me – _Baron_)

"WHO YOU CALLIN' 'TOOL', HOMOSAURUS REX?" (I think we need to start putting copyrights on this stuff – _Adam_)

"**Enough!" **Adam interrupted. **"Bickering is pointless; I will end you, Orochi, here and now." **(

"He was annoying anyway." Wolf grumbled. (FINALLY, SOMEONE WHO KNOWS HOW I FEEL! – _Adam_)(I know, right? – _Baron)_

The aura of the Phoenix didn't expand so to speak; more, it _refined. _The power condensed at the same rate it increased, resulting in an infinitesimal fluctuation on its edges. By the end of its reinforcement, the aura had dropped its orange leaning and become a red so deep and luscious blood would be envious.

"**Whilst I cannot use my own life force without expending my host's, I **_**can **_**simply force myself into a higher synchronisation between us and increase my power overall. Now then," **both of his/her arms blazed with red fire, seemingly breaking down and rebuilding themselves as wings.

The wings of a Phoenix.

However, the changes weren't done.

The wings split; ordinary arms came forth, bearing twin flame replicas of the Millennium Earl's sword. The now six-limbed (two wings, arms, and legs) combatant assumed a stance, eerily similar to a Hunter in purpose.

"**FIFTH INVOCATION," **with a burst of dust and speed, Adam _flew _forward violently, blade drawn back ready to decimate his towering opponent. Said opponent reacted with fire spewing at Adam; _green _fire.

Headlong, Adam came into contact with the flames…

…And instantaneously made a cross shaped block in return, piercing through the flames with pure strength.

His charge didn't falter in the slightest.

He ran further and faster; feet never missing a step as fireball after fireball annihilated every previously inhabited location. A fireball landing before him caused sliding to occur; of which ended _just _in front of the creature itself.

Adam was now milliseconds from bringing the proverbial guillotine down, sword held tightly, body placed above the Dragon from a jump, about to let both bare down on the Dragon's ne-

A sudden twist from the Dragon caught Adam off-guard; specifically, from its neck. All eight heads shifted towards him; making a perfect 8-agon based prism, with his/her body as the tip.

When the green fire started channelling from all eight of the Dragons' mouths, Adam's spoke not a word; his expression however, was a different story.

'**MOTHERFU-' **was that expression.

It was all he could move before the flames incinerated him completely and utterly.

* * *

_**THE MILLENNIUM EARL,-IER (GEDDIT)**_

* * *

"_Having spoken to the Child in person, what is your assessment now My Child?"_

_For the second time in one week, Rhode Kamelot communicated to the 1__st__ apostle her thoughts about the Young Exorcist, in the same stereotypically prestigious room._

_Rhode's initial, physical response was to smile sadistically, but only ever so slightly. Her afterward, verbal response was with the tone of those speaking of past events they enjoyed. Extensively. "He's oh so interesting when you take him down to his basic parts. He has such entertaining philosophical quandaries within himself;" a brief chuckle separated her words. "It almost makes me want to start laughing again."_

"_And, My Child?" The Earl responded; wishing for the interview to be concise._

_Eyes gazing happily at the Earl, she continued where he left off. "And, he thankfully managed to break up the twins."_

_He may not have frowned quite literally; but anyone that knew the Earl would realise that was precisely what happened. "How is causing fights between family members good?"_

"_Listen, Lord Millennie, do you hear anything exploding?" Hand cupping her ear to the rest of the mansion, she continued, "or anyone arguing?" Her hand lowered, and the Earl shook his head. "No? Precisely what I thought. They won't stay broken up for long either, so don't worry about that; any time one has insulted the other, it's taken either of them, at the most, a week to get over it."_

_With that, the Earl decided to drop the subject, answer given._

"_I see." He muttered simply. Preparing to stand, the Earl was going to call this meeting adjourned, when…_

_Slight movement from Rhodes' legs caught his attention; the kind natural of those bearing secrets…_

"_Tell me, My Child, is there anything you have forgotten to mention?" His tone was one Rhode instantly felt fear sprout from. This wasn't the tone of the 'goofball' Earl they knew. This was the man who had millennia of knowledge and battle-experience; the man who had fought the Heart and won, albeit at a heavy price; one of the strongest, if not _the _strongest person on Earth._

_Certainly a force to be reckoned with, he was._

"_Well," Rhode was incapable of seeing the Earl's expression out of fear, but was betting it was unnervingly blank, "there is one thing…"_

"_Do tell." Despite its lack of a tone, 'or else' resonated from his voice._

_Rhode understood the underlying message; and responded accordingly._

"_Lord Millennie…" Unsurely, she began._

"_I know who the host of Nea is."_

* * *

_**OH SHIZ BRAH STUFF JUST WENT DOOOOOOOOOWN AND ALSO ANOTHER FLASHBACK LAWL**_

* * *

_Two Exorcists and a handful of Finders walked into a church._

_No, no joke. That's literally what happened. Shut up._

_Anyway, one Finder said to the Exorcists, "this is the place. The main church of the town entirely constructed of them."_

_The blue almost black haired Exorcist was silent as the 'beansprout' thanked the Finders for bringing them here. Upon stopping, Kanda 'che'd._

"_Why do you bother thanking them? They aren't going to survive for long anyway Beansprout." He spoke cynically, crossing his arms._

_Simply, the one with manners retorted, "it's called being kind, Bakanda."_

_With a huff, the samurai-esq individual turned around, not bothering to face the 'annoying Beansprout'. "Being soft gets you killed, stupid Beansprout."_

_The conversation was going to continue until a Finder stepped in, stated the word 'mission' simply, and both parties promptly huffed shortly before taking note of the Church's most prized possession; the holy cross of whatever the hell the town's name was._

"_That must be the Innocence." Allen stated._

"_Obviously, Beansprout." Kanda replied._

_The white haired one not commenting, the Exorcists, after Allen politely asked the finders to stay back given the reports detailing what exactly happened when people attempted to take it being…messy, approached the Cross._

_Only to be Cross/H&R blocked by a priest of all things. (What? Why are you all staring at me like that? – _Adam_)(There's a Tarantula on your face. Oh wait, that _is _your face. Sorry for confusing you with an eight-legged actually commendable animal. – _Baron_)(It's time like this that make me glad you mother is 'open 24/7' – _Adam_)_

"_I apologise, but the Holy Cross isn't available at this time. Please try again later." (BEEP! – Adam) The priest stated matter of factually._

_Said action garnered no response beyond being shoved aside by Kanda. "Out of my way priest; I have business here." Allen was about to spout apologies like a broken faucet, when-_

_Kanda's arm was caught with strength impossible for human hands. "I said, I'm sorry, but you cannot go near the Innocence at this time. It is busy with its own personal matters within itself."_

_Kanda and Allen's shock were outshone by the sheer honesty on the speaker's face._

_The samurai recovered first. "I take it that you're going to stand in my way?" With that, his free hand grasped Mugen, but not quite drawing it._

"_I would suggest that you don't attempt combat. You are vastly outnumbered and outgunned." Threats underlined his tone, whilst nothing dwelled in it._

_Kanda _smirked. _"What else is new?"_

_With that, despite Allen's last second protest, Kanda gripped Mugen and held it overhead._

"_**Be ready for a fight Beansprout."**_

**_Kanda brought Mugen down._**

* * *

**AN: Just so you know, the reason I kept referring to the piece of Innocence controlling Adam as him or 'him/her' or 'his/her' is simple; I love confusing you guys. XD Simple.**

**If I get 100 reviews, I'll write a megachapter of nothing but Adam and Baron talking.**

**So, laterz guyz and galz. I'll see you next time.**


	47. The Uchurcha Massacre

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

* * *

**AN: Hello there Gentlemen and Gentlewomen. I welcome you to another chapter of this story.**

**Now, quick explanations first off:**

**First, I want to apologize if the writing has been lackluster as of late. Fact of the matter is the whole 'enslaved town' arc is something I wanted to do from an Author standpoint, but not at all from a personal one. To elaborate; I wanted to have this arc as it included what I'm trying to do with D. Gray-man: beef up the history to be more enjoyable. The 14****th**** being a mystery aspect is fine and dandy but, if that's the main attraction a story is going to suffer from it. That's a personal belief though; that I disagree with Katsura Hoshino's choice to have the entire plot of D. Gray-man currently be around the 14****th****, admittedly. Back to the topic at hand though, I haven't been pouring my heart 'n' soul into my writing as of the beginning of the enslaved town arc, so sorry if this felt like a waste of time to read.**

**Secondly, I want to say that later in the chapter, when it switches to Adam, that what he says right off the bat is part of the Fifth Invocation; he didn't finish saying it, you see.**

**Lastly, I want to say that I'm sorry if anyone believes I'm ruining D. Gray-man with how I've twisted it – simply put, if I included more of the same, this would be stale as **_**hell.**_** If this was just an OC added into the mix, then nothing exciting would happen. Also, this is fanfiction – fiction made by a fan. Not trying to be mean, **_**however**_**, when you choose to read my story, you choose to read ****my**** story – not some spinoff done by Katsura Hoshino. Yes, this is highly fictional, but again, more of the same equals boring.**

**Plus, I have a new image on my DeviantART account – just search 'DR34DNOISE' and you'll go far, kid. And by that I mean you'll find the image. It's the latest image in my gallery – you can't miss it. Readers of 'The Nightmare of Nunally' may find the picture…familiar, but I can assure that I most certainly did not take it from anyway. *Nose grows two centimetres***

**Anywho, I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.**

* * *

_Chapter 41: The Uchurcha Massacre_

* * *

…Instead of its intended destination, the Anti-Akuma weapon was caught in the Priest's other, formerly free hand.

Allen stopped mid-lunge after finding out someone had beat him to it.

"I would suggest you leave for the time being, Exorcists." The Priest spoke calmly, despite having officially defied Mythbusters. (BURN THE HERETIC! – _Adam_)(We have to make sure he weighs as much as a duck first – _Baron_)(Do you have a scale? – _Adam_)(Only one in metric tons; needless to say I use it on your mother on occasion – _Baron_) "You lack the strength to fight me, and I am nothing more than a servant of the Innocence. You will not fare much better against it. Give up."

It was at this that Allen, ever the motivated one, spoke up. "Give up?" His hands clenched. "No, I don't think we can. We're Exorcists. It's out duty to collect the Innocence and fight Akuma." By this point, a flag was flying in the background, and Allen's innocence hand was on his chest. "Giving up simply isn't an option for people like us, so I ask you kindly, move aside. If you don't, I'll have to do something that you and I both _really _don't want to-" _SLICE!_

The millisecond the Priest's grip on Mugen relaxed, Kanda resumed his slice and (wait for the pun) dis-ARMED (OH MY GOD, MY EYES! MY EYES! – _Adam_)(SAME HERE, MY EYES! MY EYES! – _Baron_) the formerly four-limbed priest.

The Priests' eyes slid upwards, stopping in the back of their sockets when Kanda quipped whilst readying himself. "Beansprout, you handle the left side. That side only has four of them. I'll handle the other fifty. With any luck, you won't die against that many, pathetic Beansprout."

Said Exorcist stared, horrified, at the now falling corpse of the disarmed priest. He couldn't _fathom _that Kanda had just taken an innocence person's arm off. However, more out of reflex than anything else, Allen acknowledged Kanda's command.

Readying himself for the fight of a lifetime(ish), Allen whispered to Kanda, "we're going to talk after this mission."

Kanda initiated his first invocation/illusion, annihilating the initial charging force.

He replied, "che, focus on surviving first stupid Beansprout."

* * *

_**ADAM**_

* * *

"**VIRTUE OF THE PHOENIX!"**

From within the torrential up-pour of green fire, a pure red variation sprouted and matched the streams in ferocity.

The red fought against the green; eventually overcoming the substantial stream and reaching the mouths of all eight heads.

The flames didn't stop at the mouths; no, they went _further. _The red manifestation of furious fire forced itself within the Dragon; further and further. It cut a swathe through the Dragon's innards, settling around all of its organs eventually, converging and annihilating the organs in a tidal wave of pure red fire.

When the Dragon fell down, as per corpses, the previously flying due to the force the flames exerted controller of them followed suit, but not as limply.

"**This time, you will be destroyed completely, Orochi."**

A gargantuan maw of fire came forth from 'Adam's hand, consuming the Dragon, or so it appeared, absolutely.

"**NOW, BE CONSUMED IN FIRE!"** If possible, the fires became even fiercer.** "**_**ASSIMILATION!**_**"**

Quickly, as though being pulled within his/her soul itself, the flames, along with their Dragon prisoner, backtracked to Adam's hand.

However, the Dragon had not faltered completely yet.

'**YOU WILL NOT ASSIMILATE ME, TRAITOR! NOT UNTIL WHAT YOU TAKE INTO YOURSELF IS NOTHING MORE THAN A CORPSE!'**

It forced its head out of Adam's hand, earning a grunt of agony from him/her. Also in retaliation, a flame maw reappeared from his/her hand, consuming the head that threatened to break free, but not completely.

'**NO! NO!'** It called whilst being dragged back in. **'YOU ARE WORSE THAN A TRAITOR, WORSE THAN A HERETIC! **

**YOU ARE, **_**A FALSE APOSTLE! AN AFRONT TO GOD! YOU ARE,**_

_**DARK MATTER INCARNATE!'**_

And then Orochi was gone, disappearing into 'Adam's hand.

Almost disbelieving in his/her own actions, 'Adam' stared at where the appendage used to absorb the Dragon.

**I truly did it. **'Adam' thought…mournfully?** I assimilated one of my brethren. The only way to destroy another piece of Innocence; assimilation…truly, an act against God. **Almost slyly, he/she smirked. **But, I've had my back to god for seven thousand years now, betraying them all, desecrating the steps…there is no way back for me. I do wonder though; is there any way forward, either?**

It was at the moment her non-stared at hand chose to punch him/her in the face.

* * *

_**TEH TRAINZ OF AWESOMENESS (AND RAPE IF THINGS DON'T DE-ESCALATE SOON)**_

* * *

_Daniela Edgley, all circumstances considered, was never more relieved, shocked, and confused in her entire life – in all categories._

_When the foul man with breath to match had neared her body, his hands doing rather inappropriate things, and fear had been a python constricting her every movement, something unexpected, but not quite a miracle per say, had happened._

_His head simply…disappeared._

_Not in the same way someone would disappear around a corner; gradually from side to the other becoming invisible. Rather, it was as if a wall of some kind suddenly appeared before them, making it invisible instantaneously all over._

_And then the blood flowed._

_After his sudden head loss, despite being similar to a snake in nature, he didn't start writhing. Rather, his body was slack, nearly disbelieving the damage done to it, before it and the blood fell onto her._

_His heart _beat_; despite being futile, and all 10 pints of blood rushed from his recently opened neck veins, drenching her and dying her dress red thoroughly._

_And that led to the current trifecta of feelings._

_Relieved came when he she realised he was dead._

_Shocked at exactly the same time, and only intensified when the blood spilled out._

_And finally, confused came slightly after the blood did. By slightly, that is to say after her panicked, horrified mind pieced together what happened and took one look at the also terrified glances of everyone else in the cabin._

_The fear wasn't at the man, but at someone else._

_They feared the girl who seemingly removed a man's head with just a thought. They shrunk back in terror away from the monstrosity that had decapitated a man._

_They feared _her_._

"_D-demon…" One of the passengers commented, barely audible._

_That set her off; running, that is. She cast the body aside and ran to the other cabins, in the complete opposite direction of the henchman of the now dead Bandit leader, and didn't stop._

_She dashed; she ran; she sprinted; she _moved. _Away from it all; the corpse of the hostages, the man she had temporarily regarded as a father, from the man whose head mysteriously disappeared before her eyes; from all of it._

_The tracks dizzyingly past her by when she lurched and then stopped on the final carriage._

_When she bent over as per panting people, she stole a small glance over at the window, and found something that prevented her even from panting._

_Weird…marks, lining her forehead. The same she saw on 'Mister Mysterious' in a particular town in Germany._

"_The marks of a monster…" She whispered, before the blood coating her entire form truly caught up with her mind, and she passed out._

* * *

_**ADAM**_

* * *

"You…you _b*tch…_" Adam growled, fist clenching beneath its hold of the other hand.

**Orochi must have taken control of my hand…**

"IT'S MY HAND YOU B*TCH!" Adam shouted seemingly randomly to the outside.

Wolf just stared blankly. (And people call _me _crazy – _Wolf_)

**You can hear my thoughts then, host.**

"You're…you're my Innocence…" He stated, anger growing at the mere mention of the holy substance.

"YOU'RE THE ONE THAT CAUSED MY ENTIRE LIFE TO CRASH DOWN ON ME!"

**Indeed, I am. I bonded with you, when you were 8 years of age, and exterminated any semblance of a normal life you had. That is fact.**

"You…you don't regret what you did; you said as much…" Adam muttered fiercely. "You enjoyed it too…_you B*TCH!_"

**Indeed; I did take pleasure in watching you writhe and cry over the destruction of your 'life'.**

"Uh…Adam? You okay dude?" Wolf called out. "I don't know if you're aware of this, but you're kinda talking to yourself right now."

"F*CK OFF, FURRY!"

"I love you too; you disgusting sack of shit you." Wolf said, lovey-dovey.

Said 'sack of shite' (don't be so British, Baron – _Adam_)(Hey, mention the word shit too many times and Satan appears. That's what south Park taught me – _Baron_) ground his teeth and scrunched his hands.

"You…if it were possible, I would kill you myself…" His tone held no joking nature. "You destroyed my life, killed my parents, and _enjoyed _it no less-"

**-The same way you enjoyed massacring those Villagers if I recall. You were using **_**my **_**power to exterminate that town, not matter how lost in blood-lust you were. We are one and the same; I am merely honest with myself and others of my intentions.**

And just like that he began repeatedly punching himself in the face.

Comedic implications assign, Adam was seriously _pissed off_.

"SHUT UP, YOU STUPID B*TCH! JUST SHUT UP!" He screamed whilst pummeling himself.

Wolf raised an eyebrow, took a step back, a video recording, and then uploaded it to Facebook.

"This shits going on my favorites list…" He mumbled.

_Adam! Control yourself!_

The unexpected voice of Baron broke Adam out of his pure fury. "B-Baron…? Where were you!?"

_Being suppressed by queen bitch over here. Basically, she locked me out of my own room that I use to communicate forward slash control you. I've been attempting to break in, well up until now that is, ever since._

"She's…my Innocence…she destroyed my life-!" Adam was explaining before being interrupted.

_-I know. _Adam could almost mentally imagine Baron glaring at the woman. _I heard._

_So, Ms Sand-Up-Vagina, it is not a pleasure to meet you. Suck my dick, kiss my ass, and then leave, would you kindly._

**Fine then. With the assimilation of Orochi, deconstructing this dimension and returning to ours wi-**

_Assimilation!? You assimilated another piece of Innocence?! The only that has done that is…and you aren't…no. There's only one other that I know would do such a thing. It's _you.

"Baron; make logic." Adam pleaded.

_She is somebody I used to know. _(Uh uh, see, see! – _Adam_)(Shut up. You aren't a Family Guy – _Baron_)

**Indeed. It's been…seven thousand years, I believe.**

_Not quite. Last I checked we met sometime during my second rising._

**Indeed.**

_At that time, you tried to kill me._

**Indeed, however, I believe since we are both entities of unimaginable power we can find it within us to, forgive and forget so to speak.**

_You murdered almost my entire family._

**You blame the sword for the wielders actions. Most unwise, Earl.**

_If the sword is an 'entity of unimaginable power', fully capable of understanding its actions, yes, I do._

The tension between them was so thick Adam had trouble keeping his head up from the weight suddenly on it.

_CRACK!_

Adam peered beneath himself and saw a most worry sight:

The floor was cracking; majorly. The split did so for the entire dimension, going across the surrogate sky and ungodly far and high walls.

"That can't be go-" Adam and Wolf said at exactly the same time.

Their interruption manifested itself as falling to their apparent doom through the now gaping hole in the floor. (*DEEP AS HELL BREATH* - _Adam_)

* * *

_**ALLEN 'N' KANDA (A.K.A THE NEW TWO'S A MATCH MADE IN HELL)**_

* * *

…"_GAH!"_

_Allen was thrown into a wall from a strong punch, administered by a woman at least half his age._

_The wall had culminated around him during impact, making it exceptionally hard to extradite himself from it._

_Kanda was busy shiv-ing the fuck out of an Elderly couple, so no help there for poor Allen._

_The child neared him, and despite having a cannon aimed straight for her head, Allen was still in danger._

_No matter the conditions, he couldn't take a life; even to save his own. Kanda had made a point in saying letting one civilian die was better than yourself, as on average you saved at least a thousand more in your Exorcist life._

_The child stood up on her tippy toes to deliver the killing blow._

_Allen merely watched the event play out, wondering if today was the day he stopped walking, the day he stopped fighting, the day he _died…

_An image of Adam, from back during his training under Cross Marian, appeared before him, and abruptly the oath he swore came to him._

"_On my life, I swear that I'll find you, Adam. No matter the cost; even my own life if need be. I don't let my friends die."_

_A silver claw caught the blow that would have ended the owner of its life had he not done such._

"_On my life…" Allen weakly whispered, pushing the hand back steadily, but slowly. "I swear that I'll…" The girl decided to keep a distance between them as Allen violently shoved himself from the rubble. "Find you, Adam." Allen forced his aching frame into a combat stance. "No matter the cost; even my own life if need be." The child (the female one) charged in, and the silver claw was drawn back._

"_I don't let me friends _die._"_

_Blood was splattered._

_**KANDA**_

…"_FIRST ILLUSION: HELLS' INSECTS!"_

_The charging Innocence slaves fell before the insects as they were either given a new hole or divided in two._

_Kanda spun on his heel, barely catching a blow that had enough strength behind it to decapitate him (I doubt _that _would regenerate – _Kanda_)(Did…did Kanda just make a joke? – _Adam_)(OH MY GOD! IT'S THE APOCALYSPE! AIPOAJHVOIAHGP;IAHWNFTGIOH *Foaming at mouth noise*! – _Baron_)(No, Baron. The apocalypse comes when a black president is in office – _Adam_)(Right directional arrow full stop right directional arrow – _Baron_)._

"_Damn beansprout, why can't he pull his own weight around here…" He grumbled whilst in a battle of metaphorical wills with his attacker(s)._

_A blow caught him off guard and sent him tumbling into another person; a woman in her mid-thirties, and married if the ring that flew off her finger was anything to go by._

_Kanda stood up from his landing in a heap state, standing deliberately on the back of the married woman, crushing her spinal cord into non-existent mush. Returning into a combat stance, Kanda gazed at his newest would be opponent/victim._

_A very portly man, late 60's in age, wearing stereotypical teacher clothing, was that person._

'_Maths Teacher' came to Kanda's mind randomly._

_For whatever reason, Kanda couldn't help but feel like someone was happy that this situation was about to occur. It was like someone walking over your grave, if your grave was your head, and you were alive, and they weren't. Or something like that._

_Furiously, the Math's Teacher dashed forward._

_Even more so, Kanda swiftly sliced once and found his sword trapped in the Man's spinal cord._

Damn,_ Kanda thought, _he's so fat that even Mugen can't cut through him in one go. _(OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH SNAP! – _Adam_)_

_The man, despite nearly being cut in half, gave a sturdy punch that snapped Kanda's head back, years of honed reflexes allowing him to bend with the blow being the only thing that prevented it from breaking._

_A peremptory kick later and Kanda was sliding backwards, getting distant from the practically dead opponent._

_With a battle cry, Kanda and the Maths Teacher assaulted each other like bloodthirsty demons in the deepest pits of hell. The Samurai didn't understand, or care for that matter, how the Maths Teacher was still moving; all that mattered was making sure that _he _was on the floor, dead, not him._

_Clanging ensued._

_**ALLEN**_

_He…he had done it. He had broken a moral rule that he could never fathom breaking, lest his mind tear itself asunder._

_He double-checked the red staining his metal claw arm thingamajig. (Still not good with descriptors)_

_He truly had done it…_

…_Allen had…_

_Killed someone…_

_Taken another's life, ripped out their soul and sent them on their merry way, robbed one' existence; whatever you call it, Allen had done it…_

_Allen couldn't even begin to comprehend how to feel at that moment, but when he saw Kanda about to be a Sneak attacked, he reacted instinctively, and knocked the civilian/slave aside with a swipe of his Innocence-arm._

_Allen decided now wasn't the time to ponder whether that was the second life he just took in as many minutes._

_And so, when another individual foolishly attempted to assault Allen, Allen fought, with all his might._

_His tears went unnoticed by all; including him. (Well, excluding Kanda, but you get what I mean)_

_**KANDA**_

…_In his peripheral, Kanda could _swear _that he saw Allen crying whilst fighting truly. _

About time that Beansprout learned to get rid of that stupid ideology, _Kanda thought whilst defending and offending several blows._

_However, as a blow was landed on his back, Kanda instantaneously decided to not dwell on such a thing, and set his mind entirely on the battle before hi-_

_THUD!_

_People _dropped_. All of the Innocence slaves simply fell over; warning none existent, as though all movement became foreign to them, as though they turned to inanimate objects, as though…_

…_their minds were gone._

_Komui had warned Kanda about this._

_Pre-mission, at the Black Order HQ, Komui had mentioned how an event like this could happen, back before the Beansprout arrived at his office, when it was just the Exorcist, and the supervisor._

"_Kanda. In the event that you do retrieve the Innocence, I have a…suspicion of the exact nature of the fallout." Kanda didn't bother to reply; attention already had since the beginning. "The Innocence has a firm grip on all their minds, meaning, if the Innocence were to be removed from its place…" Komui seemingly struggled with himself mentally. "…it's possible that the minds of those it enslaved could go with it. It's the same principle as if you removed a blade from a wound; part of yourself comes with it."_

_The knowledge hadn't quite troubled Kanda, nor had concern slid like water off a Duck's back; rather, it was something in between._

_Sheathing Mugen, Kanda called out uncaringly to Allen, "time to collect the Innocence."_

_Allen didn't give the slightest hint he had heard from his staring at his claw position._

_Quickly and professionally, Kanda shuffled over to the Holy Cross of Icky Icky Icky Ptang Zoop Boing (or of 'Ni'), and attempted to grasp it._

_Attempted being the keyword._

_Impossibly soon after clasping his hand, it had vanished, shimmering mysteriously out of existence. What remained was the Innocence itself; in all its holy green glowing glory._

_However, that didn't last long._

_Soon enough it seemed as though the Innocence was eating itself, gradually imploding; the inward explosion uneven in places._

_His only response was a quizzical stare and expression. He withdrew his hands; deciding that whatever the hell was happening should be left alone instead of touched._

_Rapidly, the effect worsened, contorting the Innocence into something impossibly small._

_However, upon closer inspection, one might notice what appeared to be a…dimming part of the Innocence. That area lost all colour, becoming a colourless black. Unexpectedly a crack formed, straight down the middle of it._

"_What the fu-"_

_And then Kanda was H&R blocked. To the face._

_Well, actually it was a foot. More a boot. The sole, specifically._

_No matter what specifically occurred, what roughly happened involved people, feet, and people with feet in their faces._

_Kanda fell over, stunned from the brazen attack. _Was that a foot…? _He pondered, absentmindedly stroking the red imprint on his face. Where the heel's imprint was, the letters 'XOXO' stood out as the only part that wasn't red._

_The foot sticking out of the Innocence gave Kanda all the confirmation he needed._

"_The hell…?" Kanda had just enough time to question before receiving the _second _boot to the face that day:_

_Among other things._

* * *

_**ADAM**_

* * *

You know, under most circumstances, physically becoming the very thing you hate with all your being (which was ironic from a certain perspective), garnering more questions than from ME3's ending in the same time span, and also having a _new _voice in my head that, at least I suspect so, shoves sand up her oohlahlah for fun to allow her more bitch-ness, would be the most daunting experience one could comprehend (well, not quite; for me anyway).

That day, not so much.

Falling into a pit so menacing that even light was afraid to go near was not quite on my list of things to do that day, but when gravity demands its money back, _gravity gets it fucking money back._

The pit was eternal, or so it seemed, until I came roughly upon a stop that left my leg inside a hole at the very bottom of the pit.

"Ow." I mumbled, until my Adam-sense started tingling. "Wait…this pit is a funnel…and Wolf also fell down-"

"KOWABUNGA!"

"Oh shit," I barely had enough time to say before being far more intimate with another man than I'd ever like. It was also at that time I noticed my voice had returned to normal.

"My…my soul gem…" Wolf whispered in agony, gingerly cupping his sack, and in turn my face.

"Wolf." Came my muffled voice, earning a shocked gasp from him, which literally was 'le GASP!' "As much as I'm sure your mother would appreciate knowing the intimate details of your pants zipper, I'd appreciate it if you GOT YOUR F*CKING SACK OUTTA MY FACE!" It was the following shove that made everything go down the rabbit hole.

Literally.

Newton's Law says that everything has an opposite and reaction of equal, or something like that; meaning me pushing him way back up the slop was, generally, inadvisable.

His ass in my face was the last thing I saw before darkness and an ass turned into a familiar cathedral and numerous bodies. I landed in a complete heap, unable to comprehend which way was up.

_With a hand rubbing my head and a groan, I stood._

_**Doing so brought me on eye level with two people I **_**really**_** didn't want to see.**_

"_**ADAM!?"**_

* * *

**AN: DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNN!**

**Been a while since I've done one of those. Huh.**

**Anyway, brief reminder:**

**New picture on my DeviantART account, called 'DR34DNOISE'. Contains foreshadowing and whatnot. Just so you know, it would be more PC, foreshadowing wise, to have Moore be the one talking in the picture. That's a hint of a plot point.**

**Review and stuff. 100 reviews and I pledge I'll make a mega-chapter with just Adam and Baron talking.**

**And, vote on the poll I have. Currently, the poll is tied between:**

**Dr Octopus' Arms**

**Hidden Blade**

**Roy Mustang's Flame Alchemy**

**Anti-Material Rifle**

**Rebellion, Ebony and Ivory (yes, using all of them at once or something like that)**

**Unless you want something different, vote. It is multiple choice you know.**

**So, until next time readers, ciao~~~.**


	48. Concupiscent

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

* * *

_Chapter 42: Concupiscent_

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**AN: Hey guys. Wanted to ask, and would greatly appreciate it if you would answer:**

**Do you read Author's notes? I usually do, but I'm pondering if you guys do, since you never BLIDDY REVIEW AND VOTE ON MY POLLLLLL!**

**Speaking of which, if you wish to answer the question, you can go to my profile page and answer the Poll about it. Basically, it'll ask yes or no, but also some short elaboration: IE, yes, you read AN's but not long ones, or no, you never read AN's because you only want the experience of the story in full.**

**Chapter title is something simple. It's a word meaning 'longing', of a sort. Longing for what? You'll see. :P**

**Anyway, enjoy~~.**

* * *

Fuck ass shit motherfucker socking cocks in hell, was my thought the instant I realised the severity of the situation I was in.

No movement between us was of our accord. Somehow, the wind blew indoors, lightly ruffling both our hair, in opposite directions. To my right, and to his left.

Almost as if our hair was inching toward each's own Innocence, gesturing for us to use it, I concluded whilst staring at Allen.

"Allen…" I murmured.

**Defeat him. Your mission commands it. **My Innocence commanded lethargically. She, it, whatever, still hadn't told me her/its name.

_You really need to take that sand out of your yin-yang. You don't need to do such a thing, Adam. Rather-_

**Spare it. His only option is violence at this point. No amount of reason will result in Allen surrendering, or any event of that calibre. A pre-emptive strike will benefit him the most.**

_He can quite easily leave._

**Allen wouldn't let him. In this shocked state, he won't be thinking clearly. He'll be demanding answers. Answers he shouldn't have.**

…_Why do the crazy bitches always have to be right. _Mental sighing was heard. _Do it. Do not kill him but, defeat Allen, otherwise you can't leave._

_You have no other option but to fight your surrogate Brother._

_I'm sorry._

I didn't, no, _couldn't_ respond.

As though someone flash-froze me and Allen in Carbonite, neither of us moved. Breathes were taken, but otherwise, besides the steady rise and fall of our chests, no indication was given that we were even alive.

**If you do not attack host, then I will. **Without any (okay, maybe there was some) I seemingly autonomously positioned myself in a stance.

A snaking tendril of fire came forth, taking shape of a _very _familiar blade in my right hand. Allens' eyes widened.

All was tense; all was forbidden from movement, but all was broken when lacking my consent my form went for the killing blow on Allen.

_**WOLF**_

"So, you going to just circle and admire me from a distance like the creepy guy down the street or attack me already?" Wolf taunted.

"Che. Even the Noah are annoying," Kanda retorted, never breaking his circling rhythm.

"Hey, I resent that! I'm perfect; the Turncoat is the annoying one here!" Wolf responded, Senbon ice needles gripped almost artistically in his hands.

"You mean the Cutpurse?" The Second Exorcist spoke.

"What are you, Italian?" The Noah quipped.

"Japanese." Kanda's instant replied contained, gripping Mugen tighter.

"Aw, for a second there I was wondering what you'd look like dressed in a Plumber's outfit. Shame. Although, I'm sure your mother would wear it better." Precisely then, Kanda broke the circular cycle, and unleashed a flurry of attacks Wolf almost lazily dodged.

"I'd expect better of the man stemming from the land of Anime and Tentacles." Wolf commented, hand muffling his purposely done to piss off his opponent Yawn.

One needle in an all too obvious to Wolf opening made Kanda buckle.

"For you to suck this bad, your mother must have had to do so for years." The only standing person in this fight said offhandedly.

Wolf prepared for another attack; if all went well, the last one Kanda would see happen.

"Hasta la vista, Shemale Samurai."

Senbon were thrown.

_**ADAM 'N' ALLEN**_

I don't know where you get off watching two men fight, okay maybe I do in a sense but still! Stop this! Stop or I swear to god I'll-!

**Do nothing. You can't do anything to me, host. I will prevent any and all attempts against my and your life.**

_Who's for accidently throwing her off the nearest bridge? Eh, eh?_

Oh, oh, I am, I am!

**You are both imbeciles.**

But then which bridge would we throw her off?

_Golden gate's a classic._

Nah, too conceited. Brooklyn?

_Hasn't been built yet I believe. How about historical locations?_

**No, you are both worse than imbeciles, worse than idiots.**

Fine with me. Throw her off Washington Monument?

_Deal. And dibs on throwing YO MOMMA off of Abraham Lincoln's head._

GOD DAMN IT F*CKING DIBS! YOU ARE THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE!

_**Very **_**much worse than idiots.**

_Wait wait wait, if you hate dibs, and dibs is the bane of my existence, does that make you a retard monkey-fish-squirrel?_

**The most retarded people I've ever met.**

Pfft, you wish Baron. No, I'm really a descendent of Jesus and Adolf Hitler, the most illustrious girl on girl affair ever known.

**Quite honestly, I wonder how both of you remember to breathe.**

_A mixture of fish paste and Jesus Juice. That's the secret to living without breathing._

**You are the epitome of retardation.**

Who, your mother, yourself or you?

**The ultimatum of stupidity bred with absolute idiocy.**

_Thank you. I'm an overachiever; always have been, always will be._

**I despise both of your existences.**

A real sweet talker, eh Baron?

_Indeed. _He spoke in his best impression of my Innocence. _You are the epitome of retardation. Pfft, as if anyone even knows what 'you' means._

**You means the overweight completely incompetent piece of **_**trash **_**that plans on reviving himself in MY HOST-!**

Psst, psst, hey, hey, hey Baron.

_Yeah?_

She PMSing?

_Probably._

**GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AH!**

And just like that her control on my physical form was broken, mid clash with Allen to.

I broke off the attack, channelling distance between myself and a battle-damaged Allen.

Allen, the fight having been the cold water to his dead tiredness, asked me the question I couldn't answer.

"Adam, why are you doing this? It's me! Allen! Allen Walker! Don't you recognise me? I'm your friend!"

I froze. I didn't know how to react. How to retort. To speak.

Thankfully, Baron lent his two cents.

_Here, I expect my money back by the end of the week, HOE _(Oh you dirty bitch work the shed tool! – _Adam_)_. And also, I think you no longer have the option of being silent. In fact, Allen is probably going to be seeking answers even more than he was before, and you certainly can't answer 'why do you look like a Noah' without serious repercussions. In short, fighting is the only option._

_But, if you hand control over yourself to me, then I can-_

No. Don't, Baron.

_No? Why, do you want to fight him yourself?_

Precisely. Baron…before we even got to this town; you said that I had no choice but to move forward. That I couldn't look back if I wanted all those sacrificed for, and by, me not be in vain.

_What are you getting at, Child?_

One, suck my diznik Baron. Two, I'm saying that you were right. I can't afford to back down if those sacrifices are to mean anything. I haven't decided which side I need to join, and if I do go with the Order, then it would be simple convincing them that I was under the control of the Noah if I attack them now.

Right now, I have to fight Allen. Myself. Otherwise, I can't prove to myself I have enough determination to kill him later on.

It is my only option.

…_I hope you are making the right decision boy._

_I well and truly do._

The bangs covering my eyes suddenly metaphorically receded, my eyes gleaming with Baron-enhanced insanity, and a simple, but highly efficient weapon conjured within my hands. **(AN: Oh yeah, Adam is gonna do it! He's going to fight Allen with…)**

Rather, _around _my hands. I figured, if I was to be a backstabber, than the perfect weapon for a backstabber was for me. But, a dagger wasn't flashy enough, no; with simple thinking, I realised my weapon-

A hidden blade. **(AN: AW YEAH ADAM IS ABOUT TO GO EZIO IN THIS SHIT)**

_Two_ of them, in fact.

"You know Allen," I began in a tone, with the help of Baron, encrusted in malice. "I've always wanted to see how your blood tastes." A tongue inhumanely ran over my lips. "I bet with your sweet heart, it will be-"

A practically instant transmission later, I got a close up of Allen's back.

"_**DELICIOUS!**_"

An 'x' shaped slice cut Allen's back, nearly knocking him over. The second strike nearly decapitated him; nearly as he diverted the blow. (At my discretion of course; I'm not _that _weak – _Adam_)

"Adam…" Allen's mind was the very definition of butt-fucked. Forcefully, an unnatural object (the knowledge of me acting as I am) burrowed deep within the recesses of his inner body, shocking and hurting him simultaneously. (Baron, that was just disgusting – _Adam_)(I did it for the Yaoi fan girls. Namely, your mother – _Baron_)

"What's wrong with you?! It's me! Stop it! This isn't you!" Allen reasoned, eyes wide with concern and confusion.

"Damn right I'm not that pathetic piece of Exorcist _trash _that I once was." My wasp-tongued (and equally quick) response garnered additional shock from my previously best friend and then opponent. "The Noah's took me in. Made me _better. _They removed that pathetic thing that always held me back; my _conscious._ Now, I can kill without any doubt at all! I can kill whoever I want, whenever I want!" With every word, madness filled them more and more, until my expression and eyes showed the epitome of all villainy.

In short, I looked baller, and Baron was suckin' dick.

*Flapflapflap*

GO FLAP YOUR C*CK ELSEWHERE!

_I LIKE YOUR ASS-_

YOU'RE LYING BARON!

_Story?_

Right, right.

Anyway, Allen looked ready to shit himself in fear and confusion, whilst I looked ready to rip a new hole for him to do so.

Aren't I a nice guy?

Allen's shock copped him a blow to the leg, something I had taken straight from Mortal Kombat in terms of fighting maneuverers what with blades and legs and what with the pudding (SUCK IT BILL COSBY – _Adam_). Immediately afterwards, an elbow whipped him, or more specifically his head, backwards, and further away from me.

Sadistically, I grinned.

Internally, I grimaced.

I need to do this, I need to do this…I mentally chanted.

The mantra didn't help when a horizontal slash dig through Allen's arm, and made him cry out in pain. I repeated it regardless.

I need to do this! I NEED TO DO THIS! I NEEEEED TO DOOOOOOOO THIIIIIIIIIIS! I thought whilst unleashing barrage after barrage of slashes that Allen barely deflected.

_Ktch!_

A sharp object penetrated another's torso.

_**WHEN SENBON WERE THROWN, KANDA**_

…..At the last possible moment batted them aside with Mugen, subsequently attempting a horizontal cut that forced his opponent back.

"Che. You're good, I'll give you that." Kanda admitted, standing with noticeable effort. "However," Kanda reassumed his battle stance, sword levied toward his opponent. "I'm _better._"

Wolf smiled. "Nope." Instantly, Wolf unleashed what most could consider a slaughter on his Exorcist opponent.

Dual ice Boomshields **(AN: Gears of War)** served as Wolf's weapons, and he used them with disturbing efficiency.

One rush resulted in a broken leg; another, same status arm. Soon enough, using his Noah speed and strength, Wolf had decimated his opponent, reducing Kanda to something _beyond _a bloody pulp.

Wolf only relented to check his opponent's status; alive or dead, you see. When he saw Kanda, breathing heavily, kneeling and spitting up blood every now and then, he simply said, "and that's why you don't talk about fight club."

"Well well." Wolf squatted before the beaten samurai. "Not so tough now? Even in a church dedicated to your innocence you have failed against a Noah."

"C-Che..." Kanda spat. He weakly swung Mugen from his prone position and Wolf caught it in his hand.

"You know..." A wicked smile spread across his face. "I could destroy that stick you so love. (I found that in bad taste - _Tiki_) (I concur. Humour like that is SO beneath us Noah - _Rhode_)(Get out of my journal! - _Wolf_)(It's mine you B*TCH! - _Adam_)"

Kanda only glared harder at the Noah and tugged on his sword.

"Oh don't worry!" He patted Kanda on the head, despite the bared teeth and animalistic growls. "From the dirty looks Adam gave you, i'm pretty sure he either doesn't like you or there is some serious sexual tension between you two. If I killed you now, he might actually be happy; or irrevocably sexually frustrated. Since I'm not a gambling man, no that's someone else's shtick, I'll let you live, and not take the risk of dealing with an out of the closet possibly rape-y Adam."

"Great, and next you're going to give me cab fare home?" Kanda scoffed with commendable effort, and rolled his eyes sarcastically. Wolf stopped reaching for his wallet and stood over Kanda.

"No…"

Wolf realised in truth that killing the warrior would be wasted potential; rather, letting him live would result in the warrior being shamed, until he struck down his victorious opponent and regained his 'honour'. Basic Warrior code knowledge, indeed; useful in this situation, undoubtedly. (Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance much? – _Adam_)

Wolf did as his bidding required to be fulfilled; swivelling around, he simply, walked away. Where, no one knew; probably himself too. Kanda, ever the Swordsman, took this as the most personal insult possible; against his dignity as a Swordsman.

"Get, back here…" Even a blind man would notice that everything was an effort to Kanda.

Not bothering to reply visually, Wolf replied simply, "I'm not a psychopath, despite what you're led to believe, so I won't kill you for the hell of it. I'll let you live, but be warned, the next time we meet and you stand in my way, _I will kill you._" No word spoken gave Kanda any semblance of warmth; rather, the inverse, a perverse chill.

Or was that the blood flowing all over him?

"You damn Noah…!" Weakly, the Blue-haired Exorcist stood, Mugen as his cane. He attempted a charge, after gathering what remained of his strength to expend on his legs and lungs, unleashing a battlecry only worthy of a Samurai.

"I told you-" Wolf spun sharply, now facing his would-be attacker. "I'm not a psychopath, _but_-" An ice Boomshiled formed on his arm. "I will protect myself." Almost lazily, the Noah deflected the attempted stab, blowing the sword away at a pitch perfect 90 degree angle, flying flawlessly forward. "You're not even worth killing without your bla-"

_KTCH._

Right now, a certain someone _really _hated Isaac Newton. Or whoever the hell created the laws of physics; shut up Jesus, I'm not talking to you.

Hey! Don't be hatin' on Jesus Bro!

Stick a cock in it Child. I'm narrating.

WHO YOU CALLIN' CHILD, OLD NARRATOR BARON?

WHO YOU CALLIN' OLD, BOY?

WHO YOU CALLIN' BOY, BRONY?

**You are both the disciples of Tweedledumb and Tweedledumber.**

You know that one movie, where they give a nickname that rhymes with their real one?

Yes, it's called the Benchwarmers Baron. Do you need me to explain how to breathe to?

What if called something that rhymes as well?

Alright then, suggestions?

'[CENSORED FOR REASONS THAT ARE PLOT] likes dicks'?

**What I wonder is the legitimacy of your existence. After all, existence surely has a limitation to idiocy.**

Hm, not clever enough. Catchy, but not clever enough. What about '[CENSORCUS EXTEMEUS BITCHUS] bundle of sticks?'

**Whoever invented communication of the tongue must be in pure agony.**

Just as you said; not clever enough. What of '[CENSORED, TO THE MAX] the Phoenix of sucking dicks?'

Oooh, can we add a 'Your Majesty' in there somewhere?

**I'm surrounded by idiots.**

Pfft, you _wish _we were that close to you, 'Your Majesty [CENSORED BY ORDER OF THE MAGES GUILD, BASICALLY THAT ONE WHITE GUY] the Phoenix of sucking dicks'.

BRILLIANT!

But we haven't made an artificial anus.

That can come in your off time, Adam. Whatever you do in your off time I'd rather not know, for future reference.

Likewise. I think the names of the Children and the acts done to them would get to me after a while, y'know?

…You are demented beyond belief…

**No. You are as bad as each other. That is fact.**

No. You have sand up your ooh lala. That is fact.

Baron. The story…?

Oh, right, of course.

Ahem. Anyway, that certain someone was Adam Phoenix Millennium at that moment. Mostly, it was due to the Blade impaling him, through the chest. How did that blade get there? Because physics, lawl.

That is to say, a mixture of events. Just as miracles occur when numerous events go right, disasters or rather 'epic fails' as Adam and his breed would call it, occur when numerous events go _wrong._

From the beginning of the order of events that lead to Adam understanding the plight of most non-virgins (Something that Baron has much experience in causing – _Adam_), Kanda's blood had, by some twist of fate, coated his left hand. Probably when his blood ran red rivers all over him, one may assume.

Subsequently, Kanda's other hand was covered in blood, when grasping his knee. These two events only had a significant effect when Wolf decided to let Kanda live. Now, an enraged Swordsman, with a grip on his weapon seldom seen of someone of his stature, wouldn't have hurt Wolf even _if_ he had hit directly; the blade would have slid quite literally out of his grasp.

It was this lack of friction that, coupled with the force exerted by Wolf's deflection, caused it to fly, true as an arrow, out of the swordsman's grasp.

Impossibility of this occurring when considering blade shape, density, mass, and many other statistics aside, it was a major shock to the receiver of said blade.

By another twist of fate, body positioning taken into consideration, had Adam not been in the way to 'receive' the blade, it would have given Allen's head a whole new definition of violated.

Adam's eyes widened in sync to Allen's already impossibly open ones, Kanda's and Wolf's.

_The world became a blur and eventual blackness as the wound was fully known to him, garnering a kneeling response._

_**Adam's remaining strength went into his legs to support himself, for what he presumed was his last, fleeting moments, but dissipated, the same way the wind would, when life vanished from his piercing blue orbs and he slumped over, appearance of a corpse.**_

**_Arise, Majestic Phoenix!_**

* * *

**AN: So, enjoyed the chapter I hope. Twisty twist twist.**

**Anywho, I hope you don't mind the wait in between this chapter and the last. Life is life, and procrastination and schoolwork, when in a tagteam, are a bioooootch of a Boss Battle.**

**Ciao for now, and remember to vote on my Poll~~~!**


	49. Four Generals and a Funeral

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

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_Chapter 42: Four Generals and a Funeral_

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**AN: You know, you can probably tell this chapter is written by a man. *thinks it over* Yep, definitely written by a man. But hey, this is anime to me, what can you expect? Me to be respectful and truthful about people of the opposite/same gender in terms of appearance? *ROLFMAOs* In Anime, Women have big breasts, men have teh sexeh abbs and flawless bodies, and also everything looks awesome. Simple as that.**

**Side note: Longer chapter than usual. Enjoy.**

**Side side note: Plot becomes little twisty here, this arc. For those Kanda fans, bring a tissue box.**

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_**THE FUTURE KIND OF, THE DAY ADAM ATTEMPTED TO RESCUE HIS LITTLE BROTHER**_

_Exorcist General of the Black Order, strongest of all of them in fact, George Fitzpatrick, was dead. _

_Crowds were to the right and left, before and behind, of the coffin. Behind was the finder crowd, every finder that had known the man (or rather saved by him) had come to pay their respects. Before were Leverrier and his associates (IE, other inspectors). Left were the Exorcist crowd, and various departments. (Namely, the Science Department) Right were the rest of the departments. The Casket itself was raised several feet above the ground, on what appeared to be a flat-toped pyramid, with steps leading to it. The entirety of the room was black marble, from the pillars lining the walls to the floor beneath them._

_George Fitzpatrick wasn't six-feet under yet; the funeral was still taking place. Many had gathered; from Archrast Beige, the colour-blind ladies' man, to Bridge Rockwell, a tomboyishly dressed (A Victorian era-gentleman suit, top hat and all, with the occasional silver cross engraving on it) early thirties Hispanic individual with enough weight behind her punches and breasts she could knock you unconscious instantly with either. The foremost was crying his eyes out on top of his casket, mostly because he still didn't know what his 'best friend's' (everyone with the exception of him used that term loosely) hair colour was. He couldn't understand it; was it dark red, navy blue, or simply black? Due to his death, he'd never know, and that would haunt him, forever. Probably longer than he'd mourn for the owner of said hair, given his personality 'forget yesterday, live for now!' or what roughly translated as 'YOLO BITCHES SWAG' when changed to everyday lingo (Or when the self-proclaimed 'party Animal' started drinking)._

_His innocence was the Boombox he had strapped to his back. It emitted the tell-tale sign of Innocence, a green, cross shaped glow at the back._

_The latter was merely watching the entire debacle with an almost sociopathic disinterest. Anyone that knew how to read her albeit would understand she was internally grieving, possibly even harder than the man openly displaying it. There was no 'lover's connection' between the two, in truth. Rather, their relationship was the kind you got from the girl that almost reverse raped you once a day every day at work for being 'so impossibly hot'._

_Indeed, they had an odd relationship, no matter how one-sided it may have been. Typically, she would see him, he would ignore her, and then she would try and break the man's seemingly indestructible self-control. Her attempts at attempting to prove that no man was infallible would boil down to, basically:_

_Breasts in face by 'accident' (Him throwing her off and shouting "STOP THIS YOU REVERSE RAPIST" was usually the end result)_

_Suggestive positions, also by 'accident' (A brief, blunt shouted order of watching where she was going from now on always ensued)_

_Forcing him to touch her, _sensually_, also by 'complete' 'accident'. (Every time, he'd invoke Rogue's Cloak and threaten to kill the 'annoying Chijo' __**(AN: Japanese for 'Female Pervert)**__. Every time)_

_And also wearing ungodly short skirts to try and get a rise out of him, in more ways than one. (It also had the added 'benefit' of a blade to her throat and the wielder being very angry with her)_

_Now, she no longer had a reason to wear short skirts (something that she was both thankful and slightly remorseful for), she realised._

_Her Innocence was carried with her internally; the blood that flowed in her veins; a Crystal type, of sorts. Truthfully, the Innocence merely used Blood as a medium, the same way steel serves as one for a blade. She stood in the mainly Exorcist crowd, not too far back, not too close, from the Coffin, staring straight at where his crouch would be. (Hey, Chijo to the end, eh? Well, her victim's end, anyway) It was a closed coffin funeral, after all._

_She wasn't the only one mourning over possessions she would need to dispose of, however. Technically, the man had _in past _disposed of it but, details details._

_A one mister Eisenhower Autumn was frowning, having relinquished a piece of his collection. You see, Eisenhower was a mortician before joining the Order, meaning he had a very…strange obsession with the dead. He was the smartest man anyone in the entire Black Order knew, but also the creepiest. There was chilling monotone he had proclaimed as his own (trademark and everything. When asked why he did it, he said, and I quote: "One can never be too careful. I highly suspect people to start mocking me, therefore I'm acting accordingly." Like a prophecy, it came true) and cold exterior he exerted that nearly shouted at people close to him to run in terror._

_Funnily enough however, he had a secret passion for Gardening, as he loved Death in all cycles of it, including when you're used to feed the plants._

_Anyway, when he first joined the Black Order, he only agreed to join in exchange that he is allowed to research the effects of Innocence on their accommodators, or rather their corpses. Reluctantly, the Black Order agreed. Meaning he had studied the General's body, or rather what was left of it after the Noah he fought were done with him._

_The mission had said three Noah, maximum, as it was to destroy a Noah supporter safe house, locations used as bases of operations by enemies in the field. They didn't count on the arrival of the fourth, fifth, sixth and seventh Noah, admittedly._

_What was left of the General after such a disastrous battle was pitiful in Eisenhower's eyes. You could not call it a corpse. Rather, it was an organic mass of dead tissue, blood, destroyed bones and annihilated organs. Nothing that could have_ ever_ resembled anything human. _Its appearance practically mocked Victor Frankenstein's attempt at making life_, he thought. __**(AN: Oh man, FORESHADOWING~~~~~!)**_

_His findings had been somewhat…disturbing, when prying open the man's chest. He wasn't allowed to speak of it, secrecy and whatnot, but what he found in place of that man's heart was…diabolical, and at the same time, scientifically astounding._

_His Innocence was the lab coat he wore, clearly visible if you checked the engraved Golden cross on the back. He stood, practically right up against a pillar in one of the rooms' corners._

_The funeral wasn't restricted to Exorcists, in truth._

_Someone missing, since the General's death, two people dearly, not openly grieving but feeling close to it sighed in confirmation. Well and truly, George Fitzpatrick, was dead. There was no miscommunication down the Finder grape vine. The man she met on numerous occasions with, had the 'luck' of working with on numerous occasions, and had been saved _by _him on numerous occasions, was lying, presumably unmoving, in an intricate wooden box. The entirety of the funeral, she had been feeling unshakable guilt. _I was the one who scouted ahead, _she thought depressingly, _and said that three or four Noah was the maximum possible there. I killed him with my incompetence…

_However, as a finder of the Black Order, she refused to cry. She had dealt with worse. The annihilation of several squads she'd been a part in had taught her that her own weakness would defeat more often than your enemies would. Grief and guilt were bullets far deadlier than the Akuma's. _

If I just had the power of an Akuma, if I could just be strong, then none of this would have happened…_floated through her mind regardless though._

_Her thoughts glazed over the deceased man's 'charge', Adam Phoenix Millennium. She hadn't seen him since she personally carried him to the infirmary; from the battleground of a city he admittedly had a hand in making. Almost heartbreakingly, she wondered how he would take it. Given his lack of a parental figure after his parent's death, the boy had clung to the man like a life-preserver. She had seen it for herself, after meeting the boy for the first time, hiding behind the man's leg, akin to a (well, he kind of was back then, she admitted) scared child. (A very cute scared child she couldn't help but think with a slight blush) Only when Adam was picked up by the collar of his wittle (it was _so _adorable at the time) suit (even as a child he had the dress sense of a snobby rich man, she thought with disdain) did she make eye contact with the boy, and all mighty did he have the most entrancing blue eyes. Piercing, yet soft looking. Filled with sorrow, yet heart-throbbingly cute. Innocent, yet corrupted all the same._

_A contradiction at its finest, she had thought then, and was thinking now._

_She had been ordered to rendezvous with the General and his apprentice for the former's mission, one to an entirely Akuma controlled town. Greetings were fleeting, and relatively soon (IE, three hours of walking later) they had gotten to their desired location. The General made his apprentice stay back, as the boy was to witness 'how an honourable warrior fought', as George had put it._

_A total massacre was all she could describe it as, in comparison to the young Exorcist's thought on the matter, if of whose awe was anything to by, pure awesomesauce._

_Something about the attentive stare he possessed unnerved her then, and almost chilled her already cold with dread body now upon thinking of it. She thought it akin to a blood-thirsty beast, but banished the line of thinking when she realised just who she was thinking _of._ An innocent child; or a child with what was left of it, anyway._

_After the battle/genocide's conclusion, she was of course ordered to leave, but didn't get to (at first, anyway) when a one Adam Phoenix Millennium asked that she stay. Apparently, in just four to six hours of contact, the child had come to think of her as a 'friend', a concept foreign to him given his 'personality quirks.' (She still thought that muttering _very _bloodthirsty things in his sleep was unnerving, and that wasn't the only thing he did seemingly subconsciously that worried her) Even when he had parents, the child had been mostly isolated, she had managed to discover with clever word usage and analysis. (She's a finder for a reason) His little brother had been the child's only contact with the outside world, (besides his Poker playing, something that immediately led to secretly wish to _very _verbally explain why letting your child do such a thing was wrong on many levels, to support them habits; admittedly that doesn't quite count) his parents too busy to help. It was the reason the kid had an uncanny pale skin tone when he was younger, in fact._

_Anyway, so the situation had played out very simply. She had begun her trek towards the designated Ark gate nearby, was about to wave goodbye in truth when her leg suddenly felt twice as heavy. Looking down, she found a snivelling Adam attached to her, returning her gaze with quivering eyes. "P-Please don't go green-haired lady! I don't want you to go! Y-you're my…friend." 'Friend' was whispered with the tone of one who only heard it in passing; never having a chance to say it themself. She had patted the boy's head, apologized that she couldn't stay, but found herself incapable of removing the child. The boy didn't look it, but he had the strongest grip she _ever _seen._

_George had scoffed, and commented, "you aren't getting him off of you any time soon. I suggest, unless you want that leg amputated, that you call HQ and explain the situation and hope they let you stay with the gaki."_

_She did exactly as he said, much to the man's surprise, and whilst crossing her fingers waited for HQ's response._

"…_You are absolutely sure you don't have the capacity to get an eight year old child off of your own leg?" Came the disbelieving voice of the man on the other end._

"_As pathetic as it probably sounds, no I cannot remove the eight year old currently clinging to my leg." She admitted with a sigh._

_A brief pause occurred, the 'are you kidding me kind'. "Has anyone ever told you that was the lamest excuse I've ever heard? Because I don't think anyone has ever mentioned to you that in terms of excuses, you suck pretty hard. But, you're a woman, what do you expect, am I right?" His tone was mocking; his sexism was not._

"_LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT," she cursed at the top of her lungs, knocking Adam flat on his behind in shock. "YOU CAN TAKE YOUR SEXISM, AND SHOVE IT SOMEWHERE NO WOMAN WILL EVER TOUCH YOU! YOU GOT IT!? AND AS FOR THE EXCUSE, YOU TRY PULLING THIS KID OFF OF YOU! THEN MAYBE YOU'D UNDERSTAND MY SUFFERING; BUT NOT UNTIL THEN. GOT IT?!" By the time her rant ended, George had blinked twice in noticeable surprise, and Adam was practically ready to piss himself. At HQ, the man speaking to her (she later learned his name was Bob or something generic like that) had:_

_A: Fallen out of his chair_

_B: On his face_

_C: Shat a brick_

_D: Slipped on it_

_E: And thrown his back out_

_All in all, shiz was wack yo. (For shizzle masterizzle – _Adam_) His, after being helped up by his coworkers, response had simply been, "do what you want."_

_Then he proceeded to pass out and drool all over the only woman in that department, who dropped the man and ran, as she had a major germ phobia, screaming all the while. Or that's what she found out later on, supposedly._

_Anyway, subsequently she explained how she now had 'permission' from HQ to stay, and Adam had _somehow _squeezed harder in relief._

_Following a mad dash to remove the child from her leg as she lost feeling in it, George sighed, and muttered, "This just made things more annoying._

_Che." __**(AN: FORESHADOWING, EVERYBODY LOVES FORESHADOWING)**_

_Abruptly, her mental trip into the past was interrupted when she found a lone tear going down her face, which was quickly swept away. Damn. She really did miss both of them right now…_

_Seeing as she hadn't before, she decided to listen to the priests' sermons._

"…_We therefore commit his body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in the sure and certain hope of the Resurrection to eternal life. Amen." The priest (Edward D. Leverrier. Yes, I know it might burn your soul to imagine him like that, but please do so) finished, closing the bible he had in hand. He stood on a pedestal, or rather what all pedestals admired, mere feet away from the Coffin's 'head'. "Thank you all for coming, I am sure the late General would have appreciated it." _

_Leverrier's expression dropped his empathy/sympathy, and gained seriousness many fold. _

"_However, as you all probably now, this leaves a gap in the Black Order rankings. It is bad enough we lost our fifth General last month, now our strongest by far has been claimed by death as well. We need a new General; two, in fact. And so, I ask, out of the Exorcists you have trained Generals, who would you say is most qualified?" Many shocked, and or angry eyes turned to the Inspector._

_Bridge almost ground her teeth in outrage. That bastard; it was a time for grieving, and yet he was using the funeral to his advantage! To get their consensus on the General to _replace_ George of all things! However, she understood how the world worked; how men were. She realised that making a show was not going to help; rather, it would only embarrass her._

_Then she proceeded to think over how she often smothered people with her boobs for fun and realised that she was quite possibly the most shameless person alive._

"_YOU BASTARD!" Heads swivelled in her direction. "GEORGE IS DEAD, NOT EVEN BURIED AND YET YOU WANT TO SPEAK OF REPLACING HIM?!"_

_He responded honestly, "yes. I do. Grieving is a wasteful emotion; nothing is to be gained from it. If we spend time grieving instead of preparing for war, we will surely suffer for it."_

Logical; yes. Coldly so? Undoubtedly,_ Eisenhower thought._

_His points made sense, but in a very inhuman way. "YOU HAVE NO SOUL!" She exclaimed back._

_Now _that _hit Leverrier right the man pride. Long story short, given his scientific upbringing, accusations of being demon spawn were aplenty, _including _having 'no soul.'_

_Edward D. Leverrier, in a way that commanded complete attention, narrowed his already thin eyes at her. "And you have no understanding of the situation's reality. Perhaps you'd like to explain to me what would happen to humanity if we grieved over every loss, hm?"_

_Pitting humanity and logic against each other was a losing battle for the former, and as such she reluctantly backed down._

_Leverrier wasn't finished albeit._

"_Or if we did not make any sacrifices. Let's say we never sent our Exorcists out, for fear of loss. Or never even tried to collect Innocence, for fear of loss. The day that occurs, we all might as well as shoot ourselves, and get it over with. It will be quicker, and less painful."_

_Edward was approximately this far from continuing when a mysterious, bangs over one side of his face individual with orange eyes put a hand on his shoulder, after stepping out of the shadows. "That's enough. Mrs Big tits over there," with a thumb, he pointed to guess who, "stop bitching and act like a damn General. The rest of you Generals, I'd think it best for you to answer Eddie's question." 'Eddie' grimaced at the use of his nickname._

_Being called out effectively silenced Mrs Bridge, but that didn't stop her from wanting to beat the Leverrier until his Hitler stache came off._

_Without hesitation, and whilst readjusting his glasses (of course he does. Every f*cking creepy guy has glasses – _Adam_)(Your Mother doesn't – _Baron_) Eisenhower the perfect pale Aryan Exorcist General replied, "Marian Bellwood. Out of all three of my still living trainees of a sort, he is the most capable. His leadership skills are above par, his skill is phenomenal, and he has experience in the field only rivalled by the oldest veterans here. Surely the best candidate."_

_Deciding to continue the professionalism, Archrast, through his blinding obvious sobbing, said, "I-I nominate my top apprentice…" and so on it went until it came to Bridge's nomination. Some cheered for their nomination, some fumed for their _lack _of one, and not much else happened beyond the words of the Generals echoing in the slightly bigger than it needs to be room, which, if anyone looked up, had a ceiling comprised of darkness._

_When all eyes and heads gazed straight into her soul, seemingly anyway, she paused in thought. Who would she nominate? She couldn't, truly. She had trained six Exorcists in her General lifetime, but only two of them live to date. One was underage; next week he'd be 12, in fact. The only reason she had considered his training done was the sheer will the boy had for training himself. Quite simply, he refused to be under the guidance of a 'woman'. The other was hardly someone she could consider 'worthy'. He spent more time peeping on her than training, and whatever training he did was awful in its effectiveness. That didn't even _begin _to cover the atrocities he committed in the sake of 'mankind'._

_However, her thoughts fell on certain people, and now if she was to answer then she'd need one in return._

"_Leverrier, what of George's charges? Adam Phoenix Millennium, for instance?" She inquired. Her knowledge of the boy was, limited quite, but she knew enough about to understand he was quite good at what he did. Noticeably, Edward stiffened._

"_He, alongside his three other living apprentices, are to be transferred to each of you for the rest of their training if need be." Venomously, his eyes tapered. "Why? Do you request to be the General in charge of him?"_

_Quick explanation if you are confused since I'm pretty sure that this thing was written by that r-tard Adam, and therefore is completely stupid and unintelligible (HEY! I am not unintelligible. – _Adam_): _

_Each general, after the training is complete for their apprentice(s), are therein officially in charge of that Exorcist. Meaning, in times where their life is concerned (IE, nominating a new general) they can decide exactly what the outcome is. They also act, when incapable of communicating with the Black Order, act as people in charge of those personnel. For example, George Fitzpatrick could have, back when he was alive, ordered Adam to make him a sandwich like the woman he is if the Black Order couldn't be contacted for orders._

This was a quick explanation, brought to you by Baron. Baron, because sometimes, you don't want to drop the soap.

_**You are a complete idiot.**_

_You do, last time you were there, I imagine. Anyway, back to the story:_

Wait wait wait. Let's set one thing straight. I was never caught. For…unlawful entrance-

_Of a minor's backside, yes yes I get it, shut up and let me tell the story._

_**What I find funny in this circumstance is that people are only laughing at how awfully you are failing.**_

Fine, jackass. You too, [REDACTEDICUS FOR PLOTICUS] the Phoenix of Suckin' Dicks.'

_**Whatever I did in some form of past life, must have been abysmal…**_

_I love you too you gay rapist you. You too, Baron. Anyway:_

"_Yes. I do." Mrs Bridge replied smoothly._

_Frowning, Leverrier responded, "you cannot choose whom you lead, Mrs Bridge. However, if it will appease you, I will place Adam under you, (*below his breath* you'd like that wouldn't you) as your subordinate."_

_The smile of a schemer went on her face. "Good. Then I recommend Adam Phoenix Millennium for General." Outrage, given Adam's reputation as the most irresponsible Exorcist (well, one of them anyway) around, was silent at first. "The boy shows the most promise of all Exorcist currently ali-"_

_And then it was most verbal. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME, YOU IMBECILE!?" A particular female voice shouted from the Exorcists crowd "YOU WOULD VOTE A BASTARD LIKE _HIM _BECOME A GENERAL!? INSTEAD OF ME!?"_

_Calmly, Mrs Bridge replied, "yes, I would. He's showed far more promise than you, Mrs Beige." When the only female General became formal, you _knew _she was angry. "Case in point, he's in the infirmary from his latest mission, after taking on a hundred level one Akuma, _at once_. He's suspected to wake up later today, too. Compared to you, Adam is a demi-god." She liked Greek Mythology; albeit she wouldn't admit it, and disliked arrogant people (she freely admitted that). In her room were photos and conspiracy theories about George Fitzpatrick, the latter being about his 'perfect woman' image. Additionally, the other half had Greek Mythology textbooks she often read to familiarise her with it completely and utterly._

_The now been told off, fuming female Exorcist stormed off, crowd parting for her apparent want to exit, hands balled into white-knuckled fists, thoroughly annoyed at the transgression._

"_That obviously isn't a bad sign." Marian Bellwood, close to the back of the Exorcist 'crowd' (there was probably only ten in all) whispered to himself._

"_Back to the topic at hand albeit," Eisenhower spoke, adjusting his glasses with one hand and gesturing to his female cohort with the other. "You were saying, Mrs Bridge?"_

_In place of a thank you, she nodded. "Adam is my charge, you said so yourself Leverrier, meaning that I can nominate him if I choose. Which I do."_

_Leverrier's brow creased in annoyance. "Your nomination is noted, however, it is up to my superiors to agree or disagree with your choice. Whilst I believe giving the boy the mantle of General is foolhardy, as the responsibility required is far beyond him, I know I cannot change your mind." He addressed all Generals. "I shall deliver your choices to my superiors, then. I will take my leave to do so._

_This funeral is adjourned."_

_**LATER, BUT STILL IN THE FUTURE, IN A PAST SENSE**_

"_That, that insignificant _bitch_…" Kristen growled, fluctuating between wanting to hit and or strangle something. "How _dare _she say that bastard is more worthy than me…he's a 'demi-god' compared to me. What a load of croc. (Bah dum tsh) That imbecile isn't worthy of being the dirt beneath my shoes…I'll show them. I'll show them that Kristen Beige isn't weak, isn't pathetic when compared to a manipulative son of a bitch._

_I'll show them _all._" With that, Kristen fully left the area, merging with the crowd following her soon after._

_Her pride as who she was wouldn't let this go; it only served to further rub the wound in salt, whilst dabbing adding pure Lemon juice. She refused to simply let the insult slide. She couldn't simply let an imbecile like Bridge get in the way of her quest for power._

_Smirking wickedly, a plan formed in her mind. Simple, but _lethally _effective, she surmised._

_Yes, soon, she'd show them _all _why Kristen Beige is a force to be reckoned with._

_She'd show them why Kristen Beige is better a friend than a foe._

_She'd show them, how Kristen Beige, deals with people that prevent her from becoming stronger._

_She'd show them _all.

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**AN: Yep. So all that happened. The day Adam attempted to rescue his brother.  
**

**Hm, thinking about it, that explains why it all was deserted, doesn't it? :P**

**Vote on my poll, review, blah blah blah.**

**Ciao for now. Update is going to be pretty soon.**


	50. Revolver

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

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_Chapter 44: Revolver (in the six sense)_

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**AN: I get the feeling I must on some conscious (or un such) level hate Adam. I killed off his master, George, made his Rukia to his Ichigo go slightly emo from him not being around, and to top it all off his brother- oh, almost spoiled the secret. **** I'm a sadist for stuff like this, torturing my characters.**

**Adam: B-But sir, I don't want to angst anymore!**

**Me: *Uses /whip on face* I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR EXCUSES WIMP, NOW MUSH! *is super effective***

**Adam: Don't you mean Angst? *Whip in face***

**Me: DO NOT QUESTION MY GENIUS! *Whips face***

**Adam: WHY IS IT ALWAYS MY FACE!?**

**Me: I'm not a feminist.**

**Also, before you you read, I want a question answered. Not with a poll, but with a review or PM:**

**What questions do you want answered first and foremost? I have a situation coming up soon where questions can be answered, but not all. So, I'm wondering, what are you guys wondering? Do you want to know Adam's Innocence's history? The name of it? What this mysterious presence within him that his Innocence referred to, and Komui saw, is? What exactly do you want to know?**

**Anyway, enjoy this chapter.**

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_**ARREN WARKER AND SHUT UP BARON WROTE THIS CHAPTER  
**_

…_couldn't help but notice the situation's Irony._

_During the fight, no matter how much Allen had called out to Adam, no matter how hard he pleaded, his best friend/brother (not in the blood sense albeit) had fought with the intent to maim. To murder. To decapitate Allen, shit down his neck hole, mail it to the grieving widow, and then steal it again._

_The entire fight had consisted of Allen's pleading to his opponent to stop, to see reason, to break whatever trance he was in, and the sound of Adam's relentless assault with those twin blades of his, the likes of which Allen had never seen._

_Adam had been aiming to kill him, furiously so, using all opportunities possible._

_That brings us back to the irony of the situation._

_Adam had been so intent on killing Allen, he had saved his life. By not noticing the blade heading straight for him, he had accidently saved Allen with his own body. Using his torso as a shield, he protected Allen from forehead to sword contact._

_That made it all the more shocking for him, when Adam collapsed onto the ground, blood steadily flowing in great lakes._

_And as such, he screamed in pure shock and agony, all the events of the past hour or so finally catching up to him in full._

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_**LATER (MORE SO, AGAIN), AND IN THE FUTURE OF A SORTS, IN A PRESENT TENSE SORT OF**_

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"_Soooo, how'd the funeral go?" A certain emo fringed green eyed individual said unnervingly happily to his subordinate._

_Afore mentioned Inspector's eyebrow twitched in irritation. He sat behind his desk, whilst his superior sat comfortably (one leg over the other, hand holding his face in mirth, elbow leaning on chair) in a chair so deluxe he couldn't comprehend its existence. Indeed, his superiors got all the quality equipment, Edward D. Leverrier mused whilst formulating an instinctual reply from all these years he'd known his superior._

"_You were there as well, Sir." Leverrier deadpanned._

_Niccolo nodded. "Yes, I was, but I wanted to know what happened anyway since I was only for the second half."_

_Gripping his face, Leverrier responded tersely, "you were using your abilities as a Sentinel to watch the entirety of the funeral. You were there for _all _of it."_

"_Well _excuuuuuse _me for trying to make conversation, geez. You need to lighten up, Eddie."_

"_Do not call me Eddie. My name is Edward Leverrier."_

"_And I'm Niccolo Sentinel, pleased to meet ya." His quip permeated the air with a peculiar silence. Neither were sure how to proceed. The Sentinel had a clear objective (to himself at least) to strive for through conversation with his best friend though, therefore silence was not helping._

_It wasn't until one agonisingly quiet minute later that Niccolo asked his internally burning question._

"_What name was he given, at his funeral? His true name, or the one he adopted shortly after re-joining the order?" The Sentinel family had a nearly religious belief that a person committing a sacrifice for the greater good deserved to be deified by at least one person, for the rest of their days, as it was only fitting payment. Therefore, if George went to the grave not bearing his true name, it would be the equivalent of slapping all of Sentinel's hard in the face as he wouldn't be revered for his sacrifice. Niccolo already had someone he was venerating. Not that he would say though._

_The man's life-long Inspector friend, or close to it, stared thoughtlessly out the room's window, giving the appearance of someone bearing bad news. The image shattered when he chuckled, humourlessly. "Technically, this Black Order did not exist during his original servitude to it. Your statement lacks sense."_

_Niccolo's index fingers pointed at the Inspector. "This guy…" He commented, before lowering his hands. "You're right, _Eddie. Technically, _he didn't re-join the order. He joined the Second Black Order, this one. After they woke him, that is."_

_With a targetless stare, Leverrier said aloud, "quite the odd fellow, indeed. We find him in a comatose state, in the basement of all places, of the old Asia Branch when checking for other items." Suddenly overcome with curiosity to know more about the late General, as what he then realised what he knew was quite limited, Leverrier asked, "What exactly happened, on the mission in which he was found?"_

_Slyly, Niccolo smirked. "So, you want to hear a story, eh? Alright. It was back when the Sentinel's had yet to come into power, ten years ago, prior to my father's promotion and my whole family followed suit. I had to be a personal scout for Central – not quite Crow, I was far more stealth oriented. 'RAVEN', it was known back then. We were the scouts, the advanced recon, the 'Ravens' of information. It's been disbanded, though, a while ago. Anyway, it went a little something like this…"_

* * *

_**THIS ISN'T ACTUALLY THE MISSION NICCOLO WENT ON AND STUFF THIS IS SOMETHING ELSE REALLY**_

* * *

The Millennium Earl was indifferent.

Not quite the indifference one gets from, say, waking up with a really hot chick in your bed, indications of her sleeping with you blindingly obvious, and you not even knowing her name and the like. (Basically, me and your mother every night – _Baron_)(Same here – _Adam_)

Nor was it the indifference one acquired from years of soldiering to battle. The numbness that killing then presented. That destruction presented.

No. It was nothing like that.

Instead, it was indifference at a recent revelation he had heard.

He should be angry, he knew. His plan was thrown out of whack by him arriving this early. Admittedly, the plan he created had been picked up, beaten by life's fist, tossed onto the ground and stomped on when he found out about his precious 14th's host through Adam.

He knew the adjustments he needed to make. His Children needed new positioning; new missions, new objectives, new _everything._ Entire battalions of his Akuma would need to be placed in key locations. Certain events would have to happen sooner, or later, than planned. Thankfully, none of them were crucial to the success of the plan on a whole. His scenario of destruction for all of Humanity would go along smoothly.

Strangely, he absentmindedly thought, it was only ever since Adam entered the picture that his plan required two adjustments. That had him thrown through a loop, for sure.

The Millennium Earl had lived for millennia; not once when devising a plan had Adam shown up on his radar, of sorts. Not once had he ever considered the existence of someone like him, of an Exorcist that had the capacity to betray his comrades, or of Innocence with the same quality. Not, _once. _In 7000 years of existence.

It truly did seem…somewhat impossible.

It made Adam seem…somewhat of an anomaly.

Or rather, his Innocence.

Perhaps it was an honest mistake that he hadn't thought of Innocence betraying its kind.

Perhaps it was something else. Something of the kind Innocence was famous for; the unexplainable. Something phenomenal, that defied logic and reasoning and simply _was._

He decided to ponder exactly how Adam, or more specifically his Innocence, fitted into the scenario later. Right now he had adjustments to make. Across his mind came his plan of the current Ark's destruction, and how he'd have to enact a strategy that would separate Allen and his 'friends.' And how the awakening of His Child, Tykki, would need altering. His projected estimate of when his creation, the Akuma, would reach the 4th level would be off now; starting from scratch was his only option, therefore.

Not to mention the actual revelation itself; the certain someone arriving earlier than expected. Saving His Children, Adam and Wolf, from _him _was necessary, given the power difference.

_Many _adjustments, indeed.

_**TYKKI**_

Was enjoying the pleasantries of his room, smoking and reading from his favourite book, all sound completely absent.

His peace and quiet was like Gold to him; with Rhode's victims, the Twin's explosions and Adam's talking, Tykki had next to no time for himself. To read. To smoke a cigarette. Adam's 'funeral' (given that he was alive, again, or was always in the first place, whatever) was the only time silence had dominated the home; and not in a good way, at that.

Tykki couldn't quite bring himself to lose his mind in the world of yet another Author with it being clogged by 'so the annoying boy's dead; how do I feel about it'-esq thoughts.

All in all however, he was enjoying his silence, his smoking and reading, his _personal time._

Then something interrupted it. There goes that line of thinking.

A voice, one he recognised instantly as the Millennium Earl's, spoke in his mind.

_Pleasure. I know where _he _is~~. At the town Adam went to~~. Through Ark gate 42~~._

Tykki wasn't necessarily unused to the Earl's telepathy; rather, he felt as anyone would expect themselves to. He was used to it, but preferred that it wasn't used as a means of communication.

However, what unnerved Tykki more about the sudden interruption was what followed.

Happiness. Surprise. Anticipation.

Bloodlust. His inner Noah was stirring, and Tykki knew that whatever he did next, _had_ to appease it.

Therefore, a noticeably hesitant and curious Tykki, with a seemingly phantom image of a 'knight' following him, stepped out the door, tossing the book back into the room, cigarette stomped out whilst walking, and proceeded toward Ark gate 42.

* * *

_**SECOND SECOND EXORCIST PROJECT, SECOND ERA OF THE BLACK ORDER, AND OH BY THE WAY I THINK THIS SENTENCE HAS TOO MANY 'SECONDS' IN IT AS IT TAKES A MINUTE TO READ AFTER BAH DUM TISH**_

* * *

…"_Results?" _

_Edward D. Leverrier asked the man in charge of the project, someone nick-named 'Iron-man' by a certain Exorcist._

"_Training and re-merging of Accommodator's and their Innocence is mean*." 'Iron-man' replied, voice just like his namesake; solid and emotionless. "Fatality rate, plus side, below expected rates. Minus side, number of Exorcists and additional specimens awoken, below projection." The clipped way 'Iron-man' spoke, barely functioning English that is (or so Edward thought), gave said Inspector a headache._

'_Additional specimens' was a rather posh way of saying artificially created Dolls, infused with Artificial Innocence and genetically bred for war._

_The Artificial Innocence was left over from the fourth Exorcist project; in which, as one might guess, Artificial Innocence was created and bonded to different individuals._

_It was cancelled due to the high-fatality rates, '95%' at _best.

_It seemed their replication was done all too well, some mused._

_However, using artificially created dolls covered these problems like a rug; making everyone forget why they never used Artificial Innocence after its development in the first place._

_The conversation took place in a relatively simple room; Iron-man's office, of which had an entirely glass floor, allowing it to overlook the entirety of the Second Exorcist project. The equivalent of having God's view of the world, only on a far smaller scale, Niccolo had remarked when visiting once._

_Edward stood, hands behind his back, entirely formal, whilst his counterpart sat behind his desk, alcohol in hand, entirely laid-back._

_Niccolo and Iron-man had become good friends many years ago, and Edward could clearly see why then._

"_Good." He retorted. "From now on, I expect progress reports daily. The project could be crucial to this war as we know it." To Leverrier, that was only a half-truth. There was no 'could', but _would. _Leverrier knew, whole-heartedly, that without the Second Exorcist project, the war would be lost._

_For reasons that aren't entirely of the battlefield kind._

'_Iron-man' nodded, "other?"_

_Indeed, there was. Leverrier recited his perfectly prepared speech; a message, for a certain someone. "Tell the current accommodator of Mugen, or as she knows it 'Cain', she is to report to Inspector Edward D. Leverrier as soon as possible, for reasons that are covered by Central." When he said 'covered by Central', he roughly meant 'above your pay-grade'._

_Iron-man showed pure disinterest, true to his absolute lack of care for pretty much anything. "I will."_

_Remembrance burned through the scientists' eyes. "Leverrier…"_

_Said man spun around, having already begun walking away. "Yes?" He queried, expression questioning._

"_Pope wants you. Something about Monster Energy Drink."_

* * *

_**YUU KANDA OR BAKANDA OR STUPID KANDA OR KANDA YUU**_

* * *

Che. Actually thought he'd last at least six months. _Kanda thought whilst moving towards his opponent  
_

_When Mugen had been torn from his grasp, and cast into Adam's chest, Kanda had been immensely shocked._

_However, upon recognition that his opponent was as well, he pounced on the opportunity._

_A sucker punch to the face had thrown the stunned Wolf back, throwing him into then against the wall, trapping him behind the rubble formed from impact._

_As Wolf attempted to pull himself free, both he and Kanda heard the debilitating screech from Allen; the screech of a very much lost soul._

_Kanda's experience granted him resistance; Wolf, immunity. The Samurai's actions became visibly slower, when retrieving Mugen and hoisting the carrier of the supposed 'evolution' of Innocence over his shoulder. Wolf's weren't; his struggling then showing results, if only insignificant ones. Kanda just managed shout 'get up, Stupid Beansprout!' (he was kneeling) when Wolf came back in full force, charging straight for Kanda and tossing him like a ragdoll away._

_The sound of Kanda's bones breaking against the wall he smacked against shoved Allen into awareness, and leaving with the dropped Adam._

_Allen quickly jumped backwards, going out the stained glass window and landing with a roll._

_Wolf followed._

_And boy, was he pissed._

"_You know, it's the little things." An extremely unkempt Wolf started, menacingly approaching Allen, who couldn't move with the shard of glass in his leg, sticking out grotesquely._

"_Being attacked from behind, not in that way you sicko, being sucker punched when you've been nothing but sporting, having your brother kidnapped. All the _little-_" An Ice Senbon nailed Allen's shoulder to the ground, "-things that just make your day that little bit more bothersome." He stood over Allen, almost gloatingly. "You know what I mean?"_

_Through clenched teeth, Allen spoke softly, "no, I don't know what you mean."_

_Wolf readied an Ice Boomshield, intent on finishing Allen. "Shame. You know, as far as I understand anyway, they use to read out the crimes of people sentenced to be executed, as a reminder of why they were going to hell, right before said execution." Smirking coyly, in total contradiction to his soon to be executor status, Wolf continued. "So, I'll let you know why _you're _going to burn for what you've done, hm?"_

_Allen desperately was trying to pull himself free, when Wolf added a Senbon to the other shoulder, completely pulling him down. A grunt was the white-haired boy's response. "For being alive when the Swordsman is dead, meaning I can't actually do this to him, reminding me of Justin Bieber with your damn 'swoop', and for being an Exorcist, I sentence _you-_" The Boomshield was raised, directly over Allen's neck. "-To _Death._ Any last words?"_

_Allen's eyes evidently lost their will to resist, and drifted off toward the Church he had just moments ago been in._

"…_Thank you." Allen eventually mumbled. "I'd rather die now than face Komui, as pathetic as it sounds, or Cross…I've committed acts _against G_od when should've been fighting in his name…I don't deserve to be an Exorcist."_

_Wolf pinched his nose's bridge. "Earl, I'm killing an emo Exorcist…" Wolf in turned muttered. "For once in my life, I owe something besides a family to that tub of lard. Er, don't tell him I said that."_

_Allen closed his eyes in almost blissful resignation, and Wolf raised his weapon._

_Silence consumed everything. Tension reigned tyrannically._

_That was, until a new voice wafted into Allen and Wolf's ears._

"_Why, hello there, _Noah._" The new voice's utterance of Noah was venom-filled, and sent chills down all conscious people's spines._

_Exorcist and Noah alike turned to see who had interrupted their scene._

_A cardinal, with light hair, skin, and rather average looking glasses was that person._

_Albeit, Wolf's gut instinct, or rather his inner Noah, _writhed _in pure fear of this man._

_This…Cardinal, implanted fear even in Noah. Wolf readied himself, letting the Boomshield gain a twin._

_He wasn't going to take a chance. This man radiated power. Power, akin to that of a Grim Reaper, for someone like him._

"_I'll be taking Adam with me now, on orders from-" The Cardinal prevented himself from continuing upon noticing Allen's presence, who was giving him a confused and almost…angry? Look. "-Someone I cannot disclose due to present company."_

_His appearance, changed, twisted, _morphed, _into something inhuman._

"_I do believe though that introductions are in order," the _thing, _as nothing could describe it better, spoke whilst its body seemingly shape-shifted._

_It finished, in both senses:_

"_My name, as the Millennium Earl has taken to calling me, is Apocrphos, an Innocence Independent." Its form was of top-half white, slightly cracked in places monstrosity with solid black legs. _

"My sole existence is the protection of the Heart.

**Right now, protecting it means collecting 'Adam Phoenix Millennium', the Accommodator of the Traitor of Innocence.**

**Therefore, unless you stand aside, and allow me to acquire the boy, I will destroy you, Noah. **

**Without mercy."**

* * *

**AN: DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN! Man, haven't done that in a long while, have I?**

**Eh. Who cares.**

**Anyway, what a twist, and whatnot. Who saw Aprocryphos coming? Eh, eh?  
**

**Quick recap of how screwed they are:**

**An awakened Tykki was easily beaten by a battle-ready Apocryphos. Road was defeated with a single punch, shattering her dream in fact due to it.**

**So, an un-awakened Noah newb (no offence Lonewolf586) and an unconscious Adam has virtually no chance to beat him.**

**Wait, can't unconscious people still hear the outside world even when in that state? Hmmmmm...might lead to something, _interesting _occurring.**

**Anyway, vote on my poll about AN's, tell me what you thought of the chapter, and the like.**


	51. Just Not The Evil Kind

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

* * *

_Chapter 45: Just Not The Evil Kind_

* * *

**AN: Got a new poll up at the same time as this chapter. It's a simple question; do you like Adam? I'm merely curious if I've done my job as an author right or not.**

**Last chapter was called Revolver since it had six scene transitions, FYI.**

**Anyway, enjoy.**

* * *

_**IN A PLACE THAT TECHNICALLY DOESN'T EXIST BUT DOES IN A SENSE BUT ACTUALLY DOESN'T IN BARON'S MIND WHICH IS TECHNICALLY THE SAME PLACE THIS PLACE IS BUT NOT REALLY FOR REASONS THAT YOU CAN CLASSIFY AS 'PLOT'**_

* * *

"**You are the greatest fool I've ever heard of. The most inconceivably mentally handicapped individual ever to walk this Earth. No, you are **_**beyond **_**that; or below, rather. You surpass expectations of the most impossibly demanding kind; to put it in terms you'd understand:**

**You are literally, more stupid than I could comprehend you to be."**

"And you excel past all expected levels of bitchiness I ever thought possible of a woman; PMSing included. In other words, swivel on it, Dyke." I muttered, unconsciously rubbing my skull whilst leaning up.

Being insulted mere seconds after waking up within your mind, simply puts a damper on your mood, y'know?

"**You are the complete imbecile that allowed yourself to be mortally wounded." **Considering she'd be pissed off for a while now, or so I surmised, I checked my surroundings.

It was then I understood them, entirely; the black and white chequered room Baron called his home, of sorts. Also the couch I was laying on's home. Also the place that I was being yelled at from.

Also known as the Crimson Fu-

"NO! NO! I REFUSE TO LET YOU MAKE THAT KIND OF REFERENCE YOU ALLEDGED BRAIN USING INDIVIDUAL!" Baron screamed, ninja-leaping from the closet and kicking me in my money maker.

My face, I meant. Baron probably uses _that_ appendage for money-making (among other things), but not me. I may be a smidge of a self-loather, consider myself worse than that which I hunt, and be an all-round emo asshole yet I still have _some _self-respect. Not much, but _some_.

The couch flipped onto its back, putting me face to shoe with my Innocence in her physical representation.

In other words, the same form I had when in the dimension she used my body to fight Orochi. Icy, in colour and demeanour, eyes stared annoyed, angry daggers at me. Her reaching upper back hair fluttered gracefully, with untold eons of practice no doubt, over her clothing, which was basically mine in a Woman's design. She seriously sent mixed messages with her attire; dressing like a man, she wore her hair like a woman. It was confusing at times; given how she walked and held herself told my pick-pocketing Instincts automatically she's a 'man'.

Either she was the most feminine man I'd ever known, or for her, a self-image meant nothing. Personally, I was betting on the latter, since Innocence is an entity; not a person.

"**Get off my shoes, idiot."** She growled, punting me back into the couch and coincidentally perfectly placing as prior. I barely had time to compute 'HEY VALVE, CHECK _OUR _PHYSICS ENGINE' mentally before Baron began talking hurriedly.

"Listen, boy. We haven't the time to mess around." The only woman snorted, taking it from there.

"**That is an understatement, you belligerent oaf. Outsi-"**

"Seriously? _Oaf_?" I interjected, humorously I assure you. "Belligerent I can understand; support, even. It shows that you actually _do _know something beyond how to be a pain in the ass, but _seriously? Oaf?_ Who the hell says that anymore? Your Mother does, I'm sure, as she's at least fifty times older than said 'belligerent oaf' but still! Come on! Use language post 1800s, thank you."

One glare of pure murderous intent later, and my Innocence began again. Baron sat at his usual chair, pouring himself tea with far too many sugar cubes in it, I on the couch, getting handed tea as well. **"As I was **_**saying**_**," **she layed the 'saying' on thick in annoyance, **"outside of this place, within the real world, stands an opponent neither of us can combat. The imbecile- the one pouring tea, not you- has not fully awoken within you, therefore you cannot draw on his power without causing irreparable harm to yourself. Even then, the combined strength of the Millennium Earl's available power and myself could never hope to best your opponent."**

"I love how you expect me to read minds." I said.

She gestured toward the window, and retorted, **"see whom I speak of for yourself."**

I did so, rising from my seat, tea in hand, previous to lowering myself before the window. The entire object was impossible to see through; most likely due to my actually closed eyes. Figuring 'why not' as good enough reason to do so, I put my ear right on the window, and heard the outside world.

"_-Without Mercy."_

"Alright, who am I hearing threaten to mutilate who?" I said casually.

"Apocryphos," Baron spoke absent-mindedly, "arguably one of the strongest pieces of Innocence ever to exist."

I blinked, confused, as I tore my attention from the Window to Baron. "But Innocence can't act on its own. It requires an accommodator."

"**The protector of the Heart's a…special case."** My Innocence answered. **"He is an 'Innocence Independent', a piece of Innocence that does not necessarily need an accommodator to be effective."**

"And the person he's threatening?" I answered robotically, since I was trying to digest this startling information.

"Your brother, Wolf. He threatened to destroy him unless he lets him leave with you, as the Heart of Innocence wants you for some unknown, to us anyway, reason." Baron spoke.

"**Any second now, your brother is bound to refuse, and therefore engage Apocryphos in battle. He will die unless you interfere."** [REDACTED ME THINKS FOR PLAWT] The Phoenix of Sucking D*cks stated.

"Fantastic. Simply amazing," I muttered. Sighing, I queried, "what kind of power does this 'Apocryphos' have? I imagine the Innocence that protects the Heart isn't exactly weak."

"**Unfathomable. The entire Noah family, with the exception of the 1****st**** and 14****th**** apostle, combined would only be equal to his** **power."** I whistled at the statistic.

"Huh. Interesting…" Already, an idea was forming in my mind. It was probably stupid; undoubtedly unprecedented, but also incredibly amazing if it worked.

"**Simpleton, you're only chance of survival is to abandon your 'brother', or surrender."** My Innocence nay-say-ed.

"Actually," the Devil's grin, I had, "I have a plan. It's probably the stupidest idea I've ever thought of, but it just might work. So, listen closely, don't want any of that sand in your d*ck to mess with your hearing…"

* * *

_**~OMAKE~, I CHOOSE YOU!**_

* * *

_**~~~XXXXXX~~~  
The Noah Family's Thoughts on: Adam being Alive  
~~~XXXXXX~~~**_

* * *

_**Millennium Earl**_

"I'm just so happy My Child wasn't harmed detrimentally by that accursed Innocence~~~. After all, funeral bills are bad enough, but now that he's alive, he can work them off~~~!"

* * *

_**Lulubell:**_

"It does not matter to me."

* * *

_**Tykki:**_

"Eh."

* * *

_**Areanna:**_

"Ditto." (I'm alive and people are still stealing my lines! JESUS, I THOUGHT WE WERE BROS! BROS BEFORE HOS MAN! – _Adam_)

* * *

_**Rhode:**_

*Giggles* "I'm really glad; now I have yet another toy to play with!" *Giggles maniacally*

* * *

_**Wolf:**_

"He's alive? EARL! WHY DO YOU HATE ME?!"

* * *

_**The Twins:**_

*Refuse to speak when in proximity to each other*

* * *

_**Sheryl:**_

"Who?"

* * *

_**Mimi:**_

"Um, what Madame Lulubell said."

* * *

_**Shepard:**_

"I'm Commander Shepard, and Adam Phoenix Millennium is my least favourite person on the Citadel!"

* * *

_**Jesus:**_

*Head pokes out of curtain* "Sorry, can you come back later? Your Mother is quite insatiable. Oh, and sorry Bro, this time, Hos before Bros." *Pops back in curtain and pleasure sounds from what appears to be a Walrus resumes*

* * *

_**Baron:**_

"He's alive? ME! WHY DO I HATE ME!?"

* * *

_**Sand up Yinyang Innocence:**_

"No comment, as nothing needs to be said as to how I feel. My actions explain themselves. I hate him, in case you couldn't comprehend my meaning."

* * *

_**Adam:**_

"Who? Oh, right, _that_ guy. Secretly, I was kinda hoping he'd died in the last Arc, you know? He's down there with Baron as my least favourite characters. I also hate sunshine, puppies and chocolate. And children, little Rugrat bastards. I like getting rammed in the ass in my spare time, too."

* * *

_**Honey Badger:**_

*Makes noises which, translated into English say roughly*:

"What? You seriously have to ask about the amount of fucks I give?"

_**(AN: As you can see, no one gives a shit.)**_

* * *

_**Adam's Reaction**_**:**

"Baron, why do people hate me?" – Adam

"CUZ YOU'RE A MOTHERFUCKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" – Baron

"Oh, is that all? I thought it was the whole car covered in Goat's Blood fiasco a while back." – Adam

"Or it could be that you're an unfunny bastard." – Baron

"As your mother was kind enough to do last night, 'suck me'." - Adam

* * *

_**ANYWAY THE STORY**_

* * *

_**ON THE TRAIN, AREANNA AND LAVI, FIVE MINUTES PRIOR TO DANIELA RUNNING AWAY**_

* * *

_Were actually doing nothing of importance. Lavi was damn near asleep, but through sheer willpower sustained through a gut feeling of something going to happen was able to keep himself awake. He still drifted in and out, however._

_Areanna sat still, completely laidback in her seat, not a care in the world._

_When someone knocked, interrupting the room's tranquillity._

"_Room service, Motherfuckers!" Someone outside shouted._

_Lavi blinkes himself awake, shaking his head once or twice before asking his companion, "you order room service and a rude attendant, or by chance is there an Akuma that is stupid enough to wake up his target before attacking?" His tone clearly indicated he wanted those outside to hear._

_"I didn't order anything. Also I don't think Akuma are that stupid." She retaliated._

_Lavi shrugged, indifferently, before his eye cut to the door, waiting for a reaction._

_And one came. "We ain't Akuma, assholes!" The voice called out, before quickly adding, "uh, not that we'd know anything about those kind of things..."_

_Lavi, in pure mirth, smiled. "I guess it was the latter," he said half-heartedly. He addressed those outside, by saying, "we didn't order anything." He gazed back at Areanna, whispering so quietly his words almost didn't make it to her ears, "if he leaves, then he's just a really grumpy attendant and nothing needs to be done. On the other hand," Lavi drew his Innocence, but didn't invoke it, "if he doesn't, I'm relying on you to take him down. I can't use my hammer all that well in close quarters."_

_Areanna nodded with understanding, unsheathed her dagger with expertise and assumed a fighting stance with skill._

_Nothing happened. No one else moved. No footsteps were heard. No breathing was audible. No noise penetrated the silence._

_And nothing continued to happen, until Lavi spoke._

_"They aren't leaving, nor are they enterin-" Lavi couldn't speak when pinned, as the door exploded and a somewhat short man dashed in, managing a grip on Lavi's throat and pushing him against the wall. Areanna didn't react quick enough; wood splinters forcing her to cover herself. Despite his height difference (if someone were to put them side by side, you'd see Lavi's head but only the other man's hair if you looked at such), the grip-ster (OH, OH THE PUNS) had a ungodly strong hold on Lavi, who was quickly put in front of himself when he noticed Areanna brandishing a weapon, openly._

_"Put down the knife, bitch! Or else this guy knows what it's like to be headless jackass!" He called out._

_In Areanna's peripheral vision, she spotted what must have been the man's accomplice, trying (and failing horribly) to sneak up on her. "Alright." She spoke._

_When he stole a glance inside the room, a knife went into his neck, courtesy of the thrower, Areanna._

"_I put the knife down. You should have said where though." She remarked badassily._

_The hostage taker appeared ready to, and actually might have, shit himself. Lavi capitalized on the man's shock to escape, elbowing him and securing a safe distance from the hostage taker. Bookman Junior invoked his Innocence, albeit only at the size of an actual Hammer, and kept it between him and his former captor._

_"1," Lavi's smile turned to his pseudo traveling companion, "nice shot Areanna, although killing the guy wasn't necessary, the Earl's minions do enough needless murder for all of Humanity. 2," his frown turned to the still shifting backwards hostage taker, "who sent you? Why take us hostage? Was it me you were after? What was your objective?" Lavi's Bookman side had activated astoundingly quick; recording any and all information to be obtained for later possible use._

_"I ain't telling your shit, asshole! You or your whore girlfriend!" He defiantly replied, yet still seemed enormously pathetic._

_Areanna reclaimed her weapon after a short walk, and replied to Lavi whilst approaching his former captor, "1, Sorry. Self defense kicked in." Upon reaching her destination, with a pissed off expression she spoke, "I am not a whore. Got it? Now answer his questions or the same thing that happened to your buddy happens to you."_

_Lavi nodded in acceptance to her answer, and frowned in demand for another. "So…speak." His simple order opened the floodgates._

_Quickly, the hostage taker called out, ""We were ordered by our boss to capture you two, and then ransom you off to the Black Order. But he didn't tell us that we'd be up against a freak with knives and a pirate!" Lavi's began twitching. Hard. Areanna's expression became flooded with fury, and her grip on her weapon tightened._

_"Do I look like a pirate...?" Lavi mumbled to himself, then shook his head and came to Areanna's defense. "There's a reason her skills as Jill the Ripper aren't world renown, you know. Do you understand why or does she need to physically explain it to you?" Lavi threatened, Hammer pointing dangerously at his forehead._

_The 'prisoner' nodded, sceptically. "What else do you want to know then Jackass, you and your girlfriend 'Jill the Ripper'?"_

_"I want to know where your 'Boss' is now, and who he is to start." Lavi demanded evenly._

_Lavi got his answer in full; the name of their Boss; where he was, why he was there, what their objective in total was; everything. That he had been around for, anyway._

_When Phil, Lavi's former captor, explained the part where he and his cohort, Dick Churney (a name that Lavi 'teehee'd at) both claimed a hostage to use for capturing them, Lavi's eye went wide._

_"So your accomplice Churney," at every comma the captive nodded, "released the hostages you had, since he was hoping to get through this with the least, amount of people hurt possible?"_

_"That's right; he was a retarded idealist to the end. He was a fucking train robber and he still cared about not hurting people! Total pussy if you ask me." The man proclaimed with a sneer._

"_You can call Churney whatever you want." Areanna spoke, attracting everyone's attention. "But in the end he was still more human than you ever will be. For the simple reason that he wanted to keep people alive." She exited, muttering, "that's why I'm not human", and carefully stepping over the late Dick Churney's corpse as she went. Upon fully leaving and entering the hallway, she smirked, and proceeded down it._

_Lavi scrunched his hand in anger. 'He may have been a criminal, but at least he was trying to do the right thing. Unlike _him_.' He thought contemptuously, all of it directed at Phil, before deciding to tie the man up and leave him for the authorities._

_Lavi took one long look at the expertly tied but pathetic struggling criminal, and decided to follow Areanna; since he was pretty sure he knew her destination._

* * *

_**NICCOLO 'N' EDDIE LEVERRIER (I told you to stop CALLING ME THAT! MY NAME IS EDWARD D. LEVERRIER! – **_**Eddie**_**)**_

* * *

"There is something wrong with the time space continuum." Edward stated gravely.

Niccolo, of who was munching on a Sweet Roll, quirked an eyebrow. "How so, Eddie?" His voice was partially muffled by food.

Both were inside Niccolo's office for a change, a room that exuded a 'I have too much money and privileges to know what to do with' vibe. Expensive dark and light purple wallpaper, peppered with the occasional green (the family colours of the Sentinels, green, light and dark purple) in an exotic, royalty screaming pattern. Floor with a rug of the finest calibre, chairs of the finest silks and such, wood for bookshelves and chairs of the finest trees and carpenters; yes, the room exclaimed 'money'. The desk was pure ivory, too.

All except Niccolo, of who still looked entirely like he didn't belong there. Niccolo's hands were caked in, well cake, that he was absent-mindedly still licking off ever since he got there. His clothes of the finest silk were stained with foods and drinks of the finest quality, made by the finest chefs and distillers. His hair, kept in near perfect condition by the finest shampoos and conditioners, was dishevelled beyond belief.

What made him see even more non-royal was the open emotion displayed on his face. His tear stained cheeks. His puffy red eyes. His open bottle of the finest quality vodka in his non-Sweet Roll hand. He appeared to have been a Mass Effect fanboy who just saw ME3's ending.

It wasn't a surprise to Edward; it was after all the anniversary of _his _death.

"Are you aware of how the time travelling device works?" Edward said, continuing the conversation.

His superior nodded, "by using energy to displace time and space itself or something like that. I'm pretty fuzzy on the details."

Leverrier was this close to launching into an explanation of its specific operating details, when one 'got on with it' look from Niccolo stopped him. "It works somewhat like that, yes. Basically, due to the principles it utilises, defies and all that, there has always been a margin for error which does not inherently have to be on our end."

"Speak like you aren't talking to the next heir of the Sentinel family, Eddie." Niccolo quipped, much to his friend's ire.

"There was a chance that something bad might occur to the past instead of the present, such as the duplication of another person, or death of another being postponed. There is no predictable pattern for this, however, most commonly the errors in the time space continuum are centred around the Noah family, and Exorcists, for reasons unknown."

Niccolo's eye twitched, 'that sounded just as snobby as the previous statement. Oh nevermind,' "you wouldn't be telling me this unless something like that has happened."

"It has." Edward stated plainly. "As I said, there is something wrong with the space time continuum."

Niccolo began eating his Sweet Roll in earnest, using his Vodka holding hand to gesture for Leverrier to continue whilst doing so.

"Our meddling in time itself has come back to bite us, it seems, as when an Raven operative was sent into the past to obtain documents critical to our…plan, he reported more than just the allotted amount of Noah family members. Central gave him a secondary objective then; to investigate after giving the Documents back. He did exactly as ordered, and committed a thorough investigation from the shadows. The operative transmitted, before being found and killed by Akuma unfortunately, was the estimation of '9 of those Noah kids, two of them literally' using his emergency time space communicator, an item capable of sending signals through exactly that. He in truth does not mean actual children it is merely a verbal tick he possess', just so you know."

Niccolo chuckled, as if recalling something far back into his past. "Oh yes, I know that, since I've met the guy you're talking about a long time ago. So that's how the bastard ended up…heh. Facedown in the gutter of the past of all things. Anyway, what of there being 9 Noah at that time; we know the Noah family is 14 members large."

"That is the problem. The Noah he reported do not match the descriptions of the Noah family members we have documented for that time period."

"So some other shmuck became a Noah instead of those specific people. That doesn't mean anything significant, but you're probably going to tell me why it does, aren't you?"

"Very 'perceptive' as always Niccolo. Yes. It is significant, as these Noah, the ones currently awoken albeit, have vastly difference powers than any other documented ones."

_That_ made Niccolo stop mid-bite. "But the powers of the Noah Family stay consistent don't they?"

"They do." Edward retorted chillingly. "Therefore, we have a few case scenarios that explain such an occurrence.

1, the Earl, as per his scientific nature, created artificial Noah."

"But he wouldn't. The Earl at that time frowned on using that method." Niccolo responded, tone like a ghost; hollow and wistful.

"Which is why I dispute that scenario we came up with.

The second, is that Akuma have somehow taken the appearance of their Noah masters."

"Which again wouldn't work since the that Earl didn't want anyone impersonating God's 'true' apostles; hell, it's why that one went to war with us in the first place, alongside his whole 'destroy humanity' thing." Niccolo interjected.

"Which leaves us with the most likely, and most terrifying prospect.

The third, the worst case scenario, is that due to our interference with the time space continuum, we have somehow spawned new Noah."

Niccolo stared at his best friend, a friend he'd had for most of his lifetime, took a mouthful of Vodka, and then spat it back all over his face.

"New Noah!?" Niccolo held his slowly shaking head, eye wide in total fear. "Oh crap, oh crap…oh crap…ohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohc rapohcra-" Leverrier gave him the mother of all bitchslaps, and consequently hit him right out his self-induced terror trance.

"Thanks for that Eddie." Niccolo said, rubbing his cheek and quietly added, "but you didn't have to hit so hard…"

"You can show your thanks via _not _referring to me as Eddie anymore." Leverrier replied.

"Nope. Your anger is like my panic; both consume us pretty easily. Besides, you hit my beautiful face. _That _requires heads to roll." Niccolo retaliated, giving a smile that was duplicated by his only visible eye.

Edward's right eye twitched, and if there were not a desk in the way, he would have finished what he started during their meeting at Central, before the pope woke up.

"Back to the topic at hand though," the failed clone of Malcolm C. Leverrier started, snapping his superior out of his happy stupor, "not all is lost. These new Noah have yet to appear. _If _they will, that is."

"If?" Niccolo questioned. "You don't sound certain that they will."

"It is not a definite answer to say that they will. They have not already done such already, which defies many current theories that effects on the time stream will affect the present instantly; if at all. This is quite the predicament, as you will soon realise."

Niccolo's eye glazed over in thought, and then widened in an 'oh shit' fashion. "If it's the latter, then sending Adam into the past would mean nothing. Him eliminating the 14th then wouldn't do a thing now. He'd be throwing his life away, needlessly."

Leverrier nodded, "and if the former occurs, the Black Order's life will become much more difficult."

Niccolo was this close to panicking again when Leverrier bitchslapped him, and quickly went back to pondering the predicament rather than worst case scenarios of both.

"So, we actually have to hope our lives get harder or else our most precious war asset was sent on a meaningless mission?" An idea blazed across Niccolo's face and mind. "Wait, couldn't we tell him that? Get your man servant Ezio to explain-"

"No." Leverrier said firmly. "We cannot afford to. One theory of ours suggests that if we remove what is changing the past, then the changes will cease. Meaning, if we remove Adam, we would be right back where started."

"But we wouldn't have more Noah to deal with." Niccolo spoke.

"And we would still be teetering on destruction." Leverrier returned. "It, despite me finding the whole activity foolish and immature, basically something that you would partake in-"

"Hey! I'm not immature!" Niccolo indignantly exclaimed, much to the contrary in tone.

"-is a gamble." Leverrier blatantly ignored the man-child. "If we leave Adam where he is, and he annihilates the 14th and dies as project, he may very well end the war then and there. It would be the greatest military success the Black Order has ever had.

However, if it does not affect the time space continuum at all, then Adam would be throwing his life away for yes, nothing."

Niccolo, with a smirk, shrugged. "We could always cross our fingers, get on our knees, and then pray that if it doesn't affect the time space continu-thingy Adam comes back alive."

Deadpanning, Leverrier retorted, "you and I both know that his survival is impossible."

"I know the reason why, but one can hope you know Eddie. One can hope." Niccolo noted hopefully.

Leverrier cynically narrowed his eyes. "Fools hope. Intelligent people _know._"

Niccolo did his second favourite pastime; scoffing. "Oh come off it _Obito_."

"Call me cynical all you want; you are just as cynical as I am, the only difference between your cynicism and mine is that you never resign yourself to the truth. You never accept what is the truth. You are _foolish_." Then Niccolo bitchslapped him. Simple as that. Edward shook himself, and spoke, "thank you for that. I was angry. Again."

"I kind of noticed…" Niccolo mumbled.

An uneasy silence filled permeated the air. One party knew what it wanted to say to the other, the other, eh not so much.

Leverrier wanted to comment. Wanted to speak. Whilst technically what he had come to say was said, that was only the official side. Unofficially, he seriously needed to speak to Niccolo.

Therefore, with heavy trepidation, Leverrier came right out and said, (I'm gay – _Adam_) "you shouldn't drown your sorrows in alcohol and food. He wouldn't have wanted that."

Niccolo's chair swivelled, forcing Leverrier to stare at its back instead of his friend.

"You think I don't know that? I do, Eddie, I do. I know that he would frown on me, and the life choices I've made ever since his death." Niccolo ranted. Edward was going to interject, before his superior continued. "I know that he would hate me for the plan we came up with; not matter who it was good for, all of humanity or not. I know he was a pacifist, through and through. I know he hated violence to an unimaginable degree. I know he'd probably regret giving up his life for mine given what I've done in life. I _know _all that, and you're telling me that despite it, I don't have even the smallest right to seek comfort? To forget about my sins for just, one, day?"

"It is not about what options you have to choose, rather what you choose to do with those options." Leverrier responded philosophically. "You have the option to grieve for him, or _live _for him. It is your choice, it always has been. I will not criticize you for your choice to indulge. I lack a background that would allow me to do so impartially, or without being hypocritical.

Know this albeit; during those years you helped me overcome my father's death, I too thought my grief was justified to be indulged. It was through your repeated abuse, both verbal and physical, that the mindset of mine was dispelled."

"Eddie…" Niccolo began solemnly. "You've given me that very same speech, word for word, each and every anniversary of his death that I've known you for. It hasn't worked. At all. Ever. This day marks the twentieth anniversary, so today…just…don't."

Leverrier knew the situation was delicate. This was the man who'd suffered the loss of arguably the one person who cared for him most, and he in turn cared for the greatest. He'd lost his brother; his twin one, in fact. Whereas Leverrier's father was merely assigned to him after his 'birth', and cared for him, Niccolo's parents were his biological ones, and couldn't care less for his existence. 'In the sentinel family, only the perfect survive, yet I'm still here'. That was what Niccolo had told him, on the very first anniversary of his brother's death.

Meaning, this was someone who had gone through life suffering, with no sense of self-worth, and secretly wished to just go die in a hole somewhere. This was especially true on the anniversary of his brother's death. This was a Niccolo who ate the finest cakes, drank the finest alcohol, and actually slept with the finest women (Being that which is above the Inspectors has its pros. – _Niccolo_), all to forget his troubles. This Niccolo was depressed, heartbroken, and practically bordering crying at any given moment.

This Niccolo, was guilty, lonely, and just sad.

And that drove Leverrier mad with rage.

Sure, he could sympathize. Empathize, even. He could understand it all pretty damn well since he was exactly the same way a while back.

But hot _damn, _seeing someone so Emo when they act happy all the time was like circumventing expectations to the highest degree. It was like a sick, sick joke by God himself played on Niccolo and those around him.

He didn't know if genetically, he was merely predisposed to hate Emo people, but for whatever reason, every year Leverrier ground his teeth and clenched his hands in fury at seeing his friend like this.

Perhaps it was some twisted psychological thing; where, he hated his friend, for being flawed. For being 'down'. For making him worry about him.

But that wasn't why he snapped at that moment.

Technically, it was, but to say such was the entire reason would be a half truth. Part of it was the guilt Leverrier himself felt, from all the regrets he's had since the beginning of the plan, to the regret of what he _will _do corresponding to 'the plan'.

Coupled with his natural dislike of Emo people or so it seemed, and it perfectly explains why Leverrier went around the desk, spun Niccolo's chair around, and socked Niccolo one good, throwing him out of the chair and sprawling him all over the floor.

"You have been in hopeless depression throughout almost all your whole life; even when I was being sad enough for both of us. You are better than this. I know you are. If you will not bother picking yourself up for you, do it for me, or those that have and will be sacrificed as per the plan. If your brother would have frowned on you choosing to do whatever it takes to end this war then, I apologise for how you will probably take this, he is a naïve fool. Even more than you are. Sacrifices are necessary for any war. No matter the cost, we must persevere. No matter who is sacrificed; everyone else, _them_, _us, _we must save humanity. From any threat, foreign _or _domestic."

Niccolo guiltily turned away; bruise beginning to form on his left cheek, not responding.

Edward sighed, thinking his words had just been wasted, and began heading towards the exit, his business done for this room at least.

He left, door closing behind him with an audible thud, locks clicking into place immediately after.

He disappeared down the many hallways littering the Black Order branch he was in; the European Branch, which is most commonly known as the 'Rat Branch' given its multitude of tunnels that are operated by its personnel and entirely underground nature.

Niccolo gazed at the door to his office, sighed, and retook his seat.

"That's just like you, Eddie." He commented.

"It's so like you that it hurts. Almost as much as the punch you delivered directly to my beautiful face.

Leaving before someone can even get the chance to thank you…you're more thick-headed than I am."

He swivelled in his chair, this time for a reason other than unwillingness to face his friend. This time, it was to procure an item from the bookshelf behind his desk. A folder.

Its cover read:

_**Psychological Assessment of Exorcist:**_

_**MILLENNIUM, Adam, done July 4**__**th**__** 2015 **_(Ah, yes. For my birthday, I got a psychological assessment. Yay me. – _Adam_)

_By: _

'Of course the name's blank', Niccolo thought somewhat 'duh'-ily, 'they don't let names like that go on print.' He opened it, and began reading.

Niccolo smiled whilst examining it, despite having done so dozens of times before.

He glazed over it in truth, rather skipping to the part he was trying to find.

The passage read:

…_Adam exhibits near inhuman willpower when pushed to defend his brother, which is done indirectly by doing as the Black Order commands him to, but otherwise will crumple easily. His sense of self-worth and honour however, force him to protect everyone besides himself, believing anything and everyone to be above him alongside being his 'duty' as an Exorcist to do so._

_All in all, unless the patient is given significant reason otherwise, he is liable to, until his last breath, not give up trying to save humanity._

_It is to be noted however, that the death of his brother will most likely result in the patient becoming psychologically unstable. It has a slim chance of happening instantly, yet can still happen as such. It has a higher chance of occurring overtime, as the patient gradually loses his mind to regret, guilt and his conflicting emotions. The end result of his mental breakdown is split evenly, depending on the outside stimulus, as to which of the two scenarios occur. _

_If in an unaccepting environment, surrounded by those who either don't know that he is troubled or don't care, he will eventually becoming a mindless massacring monstrosity, living only to satiate his bloodlust and anger. _

_If in an accepting environment, where everyone coaches him through the trauma and 'helps' him, he will eventually only end up existing with severe depression._

_It is not recommended informing him of his brother's fate if his death occurs so long as his service to the Black Order is required…_

Niccolo chuckled, 'yes, "only" end up with severe depression', closed it and put the folder back where it belonged; the shelf.

Smile still on his face, he spun his chair back to the front.

To himself, he muttered:

"I don't think he'll die, Eddie. That isn't me just being a fool.

I think…I think everyone's wrong about that boy. I don't think he's just a traumatised boy that refuses help, since he doesn't think he needs it. Or that he's a teenager simply looking out for his brother.

_I think he thinks of himself spot on. Well, mostly anyway._

_**He really is a monster, just…**_

**_[SEE CHAPTER TITLE]_**

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**AN: Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I didn't. Really. Bleh. I haven't felt all that hot lately but I'll manage. Nothing keeps me down...except everything...and hard work...and physical work...and history...and- nevermind.  
**

**Anyway, there is a reason I have a poll up about Adam, but it's a secret. I won't tell you till next chapter (or maybe not even then :P ), but let's just say that certain aspects of this story are now in your voting able hands.**

**Ciao for now.**


	52. Question mark, Indeed

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

* * *

_Chapter ?: ?, Indeed_

* * *

**AN:**

**"It is not the enemies cloaked in shadow, or clad in armor that we should fear**

**Nor is it the abomination of a man who does wrought almighty destruction**

**Rather,**

**It is those that you depend on, that you trust mind body and soul, which are to be feared**

**Fore they can kill you, even without intending to. Mind, body and soul your most trusted are your worst enemies**

**Such is the nature of humanity; of betrayal, both purposeful and inadvertent."**

**- ?**

* * *

_**?**_

"…Its location is _here_, moron. Currently, only a few are around in the location. At most, you'll expect two generals, and four Exorcists. Unknown amount of finder, Inspector agents, or of anything like that, really."

"Excellent. Thank you for the information. If I may ask though, why did you seek me out to tell me such things? The repercussions outweigh any likely benefits, do they not?"

"That's a personal matter, idiot."

"…Still wish that you would not insult me. *sigh* But, my pride is well worth this information. Now, I come this much closer to my ultimate goal. My revenge against the disgusting _God…_…you may leave, you know."

"I do not need prompting, imbecile."

"Again with the insults, but please do remember:

_**If you're lying about this, **__**I'll kill you.**_ Simple as that. Not so hard to remember when laced in pure killing intent and lacking a hint of deceit, is it?"

"N…no, it isn't…"

"Don't be like that. I already get enough fear from my subordinates; even my henchmen think I'm crazy.

However, as per before, you may leave. I thank you for making the correct choice in this war, in helping a young, yet unbelievably old man exact righteous punishment…for all those lost."

"Of course…I'll take my leave now, dumbass."

"Ah, I am so forgetful these days; before you leave-"

"_**AHHHHH**_! MY _ARM_!"

"You need a convincing way to explain why you were in my presence and not injured. A broken arm is well worth not being prosecuted, isn't it?"

"How did you…you're all the way over _there_…!"

"Just because I am the Millennium Earl, does not mean I possess no other powers. My abilities as the 14th are not affected."

"R-right…of course…retard."

"*sigh* _Still _wish that you stop insulting me.

Anyway, tata~~, have fun deceiving your allies, Exorcist."

*thud*

"…For however long it takes for you to _Fall_ that is…"

*outside*

"Now, all that's left is to prepare...now, the Black Order will see me as they truly do. When they comes, I will be victorious, and they will have no choice but to appoint me as General.

Truly, it is only a matter of time, before I destroy, _Adam Phoenix Millennium._"

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**AN: Think what you will of this. I offer no explanation.**


	53. This Chapter Is Immature

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

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_Chapter 46: This Chapter Is Immature (Yes, really)  
_

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**AN: Shist. Just...shist. This is way later an update than what I wanted it to be. I honestly knew what I wanted this chapter to be like, yet couldn't write it. My will to write this sequence was, honestly, lacklustre. Non-existent, practically.  
**

**Anyway, remember to vote on the poll up on my profile asking how much you like Adam if at all. It corresponds to something VERY important about the story, but I'm not telling you what specifically~~~. :P**

**Anywho, I'd like to say enjoy this chapter, but I know you will since it involves one badass known most commonly as – ring a ding ding – ADAM, PHOENIX, MILLENNIUM!**

**Now read.**

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_**PAST, PRESENT, OR MAYBE THE FUTURE OR SOMETHING I DON'T FUCKING KNOW THIS SHIT IS CONFUSING AS HELL TO ME AS WELL**_

* * *

"You know what? F*ck, _you_.

You come here, attack this jackass over here, who I'll admit is decent if not completely retarded, and annoying to boot, to kidnap me for the pedo-rapist that is the Heart of Innocence.

Plus, as you've told me during our fight, you murdered all the finders to eliminate witnesses. I no longer have a conscience, meaning why it bothers me is that you effectively deprived me of a meal, and I'm certainly a hungry guy. Even more so than your mother.

And to top it all off, you were this close to eliminating Allen when you believed me unconscious, also to remove all possible witnesses, someone who despite my allegiance change I'm still sworn to not kill, myself at least.

I don't know about you, but right now, I feel ready to kill somebody.

Namely, a certain Innocence Independent named 'Apocryphos'. You may lack the bodily component of blood, but far as I can tell, pain is an item you can feel, and that's good enough for me.

Prepare, Apocryphos, for the sensation of my Dark Matter powers so far up your Innocence ass when you speak, IT'LL BE ASKING WHY IS THERE LIQUID WHERE YOUR FACE IS SUPPOSED TO BE!"

The wielder of the repeatedly called Traitor of Innocence, despite his obvious clinically dead appearance, formulated a sphere of dark matter, shaping it precisely as Tykki taught him too during his crash course of Noah power.

His chosen weapon? Funnily enough, the Millennium Earl's Blade; with a purple and marble-esq darkness colour scheme instead of the traditional visual representations of good and evil; white and black, respectively.

"Not to be melodramatic, but come on you pussy! Charge me! Press the advantage! Drive me back! Do it the way you want to, asshole!...That sounded way worse outloud than I thought it would." Adam taunted, gaining a stance of a drawn back blade and forefront hand, used to flip him off, the last part directed at his sweat-dropping eyes moved up and away self.

His opponent was the perfection to his failure. The white to his black. In place of any actual wounds, there was pure…whatever the hell his skin is made of; recycled beer bottles? Whatever. Basically, Adam had been dominated hard and Apocryphos had barely worked up a sweat whilst beating him off.

Okay, now _that _was wrong sounding.

_For once, I find myself agreeing with sand up yinyang; you _are _incompetent._

**The day when you of all people agree with me has been reached. I believe this is the day I eat my own proverbial hat. Excuse me for a minute.**

*Munching sounds in background soon after*

_Seriously though, Baron. I was awake at that time; I can tell everyone what happened._

Everyone?

_EEEEEVEEEERRRRRYYYYYOOOOOONE!_

Okeydokey.

**My hat has been consumed.**

_Good for you…? Wait, when did you _get_ a hat?_

…**I believe the aptly named idiom goes, 'muffin button.'**

*whispering* _Baron…?_

*also whispering* What?

_Bitches be literally crazy now._

Or should I say,

*puts on monocle*

_Witches_ be crazy?

**AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! THE INCOMPETENCE!**

Eh. Not a yeah, but works for me. You?

_Same here. Anyway, get off the story telling couch. My turn._

Ahem…that's what she sa-

***FUTOONG!* NO! THE INCOMPETENCE LEVEL IS ALREADY OVER 9000, I REFUSE TO ALLOW IT TO BREAK THE SCOUTER!**

_Did she just? *in awe*_

I think she did…*also in awe*

_She internet meme'd!/_IT'S A MIRACLE!

**The incompetence…**

_Yeah yeah you said that a zillion-_

Two zillion, actually.

_-That, times already. Anyway, Baron, couch._

Right.

*shuffling*

Anyway, back with the story:

"Well come on you pussy! Attack!" I goaded, thumping my chest for extra emphasis.

"Whatever trap you've layed will not work on me." He boasted, approaching steadily yet arrogantly toward me.

"Wrong 'laid'." I remarked offhandedly, stance drawn further and further back, resembling a coil more and more.

"At this point, I honestly question why you even try. Surely, the wounds all over you are proof enough of the power difference between us? Do they not speak volumes of how truly _weak _you are?" Oh, I see. Give me a taste of my own medicine. Would have worked, had I been Baron.

"The only person tasting anything from themself is your mother last night, so you can forget about that." I quipped.

My opponent stopped, sighing immediately afterwards. "After all this fighting, you _still _want to continue. It's hard enough not killing you when your appearance is of a _Noah, _but now you refuse to give in even when it's hopeless."

He shook his head. "So pointless."

"…" He received verbal silence, and physical tension from me.

"Pointless? I know." I mused, my enemy pausing mid-step in sheer surprise. "However, what you're forgetting is there's always a chance that a meteor will come out of nowhere and kill you. Or even that a Dues Ex Machina of epic proportions, like the hot ass obvious character love interest suddenly opening the door and rescuing me and my cyborg companion, will happen. It isn't pointless to hope."

"Hope, is an idea born from the weakness of humanity." He said coldly. "It is nothing more than stupidity wrapped in the legendarily stubborn human willpower."

"And your mother is nothing more than grease wrapped in Bacon." I returned, momentarily wondering just how god damn slowly he must be walking for it to take this long to reach me. "Doesn't make her taste any worse; doesn't make Hope any worse to have."

"To have hope is to admit weakness. Weakness is what causes human's downfall every time. Mental, physical, spiritual; one of these is always weak in a human being. At least. The pinnacle of humanity are the chosen accommodators of Innocence; those who have the faith of things like me."

"Whilst talking is fun and all, there's one fact you're completely forgotten-" Blurred to outside eyes, I moved. I seemingly reappeared behind Apocryphos. "-Never drop your guar-" In a neck-hold, Apocryphos put me, far faster than should be possible.

With contempt filled eyes, Apocryphos glared at my struggling in his grip frame. He only gripped tighter when he spoke next. "'Drop my guard'? What fool do you take me for? It was a feint." He explained. "Now, I'll simply wait for you to pass out from lack of Oxygen."

Since my head was tilted too far back, Apocryphos couldn't see my smirk, but he definitely heard it when I talked.

"About that…" My voice was raspy, indeed; being strangled does that to ya. If possible, my smirk grew. "This is quite convenient. Now," my legs swung up and around his outstretched arm, gripping it just like I'd seen in this one movie one time. "This just makes things easier."

Apocryphos, from his position, only managed enough strength to be on equal ground with mine, therefore preventing his escape. "YOU…!" He managed through the struggling. "RELEASE ME!" I, obviously, ignored his protests more than your mother's last night.

…Okay, that probably sounded _exceedingly _wrong.

"NOW, CONSUME, MY INNOCENCE!" I shouted, as my palm turned into a black hole, applied directly to the Innocence Independent's arm.

* * *

_**EARLIER, ADAM'S MIND**_

* * *

"_**You can't possibly be serious!" **__My Innocence screeched. __**"Consuming Apocryphos to gain his power is impossible! You simply aren't capable of gaining it, let alone getting close enough to touch him, **_**and then **_**integrate it into yourself! Even more to that point, I couldn't hold him either! He's simply too strong!"**_

"_Agreed, servant." Baron said, tone neutral. "Fighting Aporcyphos is suicidal enough, but to absorb him? That much light and dark existing in the same body…you'd simply explode for lack of a better word."_

"_You got a better idea?" I returned, expression and body language guarded as I defended my plan._

"_**Yes, I do. Surrender. And hope to whatever higher power that exists he accepts it." **__The only 'woman' there replied, equally as cool._

"_And then what? Let's, for a moment, assume what the Heart wants with me is harmless. Alright, what would it want from that is harmless? Hm? Ask me a few questions about _where I'm from,_ exactly? Something even more compromising? It's too great a risk to take, even if it is meant well."_

"_Agreed, servant." Baron repeated. "Hm, anyone else getting a sense of déjà vu? No? I guess it's just me. Anyway, what _you_ have to admit though, is that absorbing Apocryphos is simply impossible. I think we need to make a strategy; I'll be damned if I have to wait another hundred years for a new host."_

"_That's touching…?" I tested. "Not important. What _is _important though is realising we don't have any other options. A snowball's chance in a catscanner is far better than simply nothing."_

"_**Surrender is my vote." **__My Innocence chimed in._

"_Then it's a good thing you're being treated as a woman proper. Your opinion is invalid." I retaliated._

"_**The incompetence…" **__She growled lowly, although I suspected she meant for I and Baron to hear._

_Baron suddenly showed his true age. For one, brief, _very much so_, moment, there was no middle-aged Victorian man sitting comfortably in his chair. There was a 7000 year old war veteran, plagued with regret from trying not to feel guilty due to his regrets over his countless decisions, over countless mistakes. Or something deep like that._

_Then, that moment passed, and Baron regained his standard appearance. "We won't know if we don't try is the attitude here, I suppose. And also I suppose, it'll have to do._

_Very well, go through the window. You need to be awake, after all."_

* * *

_**NOW, SORTA, ISH**_

* * *

This was a hasty plan, without any chance of success either, yet…

If I was going to die, I was going to take my murderer with me.

Spurred to action by that thought, I held tighter than I thought possible onto Apocryphos' arm, determined fiercely to consume him now more than ever.

"RELEASE ME! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE DOING, CONSUMING MY POWER LIKE THIS!" He screeched, his strength increasing with every moment in my hold.

"I KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT WHAT I'M DOING, NOW SHUT UP! THIS REQUIRES CONCENTRATION, AND YOUR SCREECHING GIRL VOICE ASS AIN'T HELPING!" I called back; still intent on eating the man like there was no tomorrow.

…You know what they say about things coming out wrong, and how you can't possibly top it with anything else?

I just did.

Yeah.

The protector of the Heart of Innocence (who is also THE GODDAMN BATMAN) bellowed for his release, struggling almost fruitlessly.

Almost being the keyword.

Little by little, his arm was becoming free. Inch by inch, his arm was released from my grasp, and I was nowhere near done devouring his arm. Heck, I'd only just got up to the elbow.

**Told ya so.** My Innocence stated, just as Apocryphos' arm was torn from my grasp by the Innocence himself.

He scurried away, clutching his arm, or lack thereof for that matter. He growled, far more primal than anything civil. "You'll pay for that." He spoke, certain.

When he retook his standing battle stance, it was much more threatening and present. Now, the posture promised pain; the stance stated suffering, and the hands heralded haemorrhages.

All in all, would def not fight against. Prob would be better with tartar sauce.

I give it three barons out of 69 Jesus'.

"I only need to bring you back alive. The Heart didn't specify how much." He simply vanished. Before my sight, he disappeared with the speed blur's envy.

And like that, I knew only agony.

Before the pain signals even registered it, before _I _even registered it, Apocryphos was on me. Physically, he penetrated every orifice, roughly hit me hard, bluntly shoved himself inside m-

_THAT'S ENOUGH! STOP THAT! FOR THE LOVE OF FUCKING GOD CAN YOU FUCKING STOP FUCKING SAYING FUCKING THINGS LIKE FUCKING YOU FUCKER OF A CHUCKLE FUCK, FUCKING BITCH?_

…You mad, much? Anyway, yeah sure.

So, Apocryphos was giving me the smack down. Any and all retaliation was thwarted, instantly after its inception; every time. A barrier was erected, but Apocryphos simply interrupted its creation with pure speed. A hasty counter-attack fuelled by adrenaline and instinct designated to decapitate Apocryphos merely had him unflinchingly take it, a scratch disturbingly absent.

Case in point, a tidal wave of fire blocked his approach and he simply ran through it; nary a scratch on him. Then he hit me.

Again.

And again.

And then again.

And yet again.

And _again._

Finally, after seeming eternity, his assault relented, leaving me broken (literally in many cases) and nearly unconscious.

"Hm, might have gone a little too far." He mused, cracking his knuckles whilst lording over me needlessly. "It doesn't matter now. You're so blaringly weak, even if I didn't try I'd defeat you."

He was right. I was so weak I didn't last a full minute.

Somehow though, I stood up. Somehow, despite my shaky legs, my numb body, and my begging for it to end mind, I managed to gain a stance. And somehow, I endured the withering glare from Apocryphos, who seemed quite annoyed by my sudden show of willpower.

"Still conscious? I guess what you lack must be entirely physical, nothing of the mental and spiritual sort. To endure what I dealt, earns my respect, boy. However, I do not take pity on my enemies_. No matter the circumstances._"

Immediately, Apocryphos' arm was through my chest.

"Not a killing blow, I'll have you know. This is just to ensure you don't cause trouble later on."

It was true. There was no organ's he'd pierced; rather, it was my soul. Using some kind of power I didn't even know possible, Apocryphos tore something from my soul, mind _and _body.

My Innocence, I realised in extreme horror. It glowed in his hands, before disappearing within his quick sand of a hand.

It was then that I realised how _truly _weak I was. My mental grip on my conscious was already fleeting; this just made it all the more apparent. Through the willpower I had ascertained only from years of combat experience, grief and hardship, I clung to consciousness, like a drowning rat does onto a stray log.

"With the Traitor separated from you, there is no threat.

Enjoy unconsciousness, Adam Phoenix Millennium, fore it may very well be the last time you ever sleep soundly."

Something inside me obeyed; and made unconscious supreme.

The last sight I held was of the slowly opening eyes of Allen Walker, Exorcist of the Black order, and his concern becoming apparent.

_**ALLEN WALKER, WHITE-HAITED EXTRAORDINAIRE**_

Honestly didn't know what the high hell to think at this point.

First, it had been Akuma. Sure, creations made from tragedies, machines and a grieving person. He knew that; he'd _fought _to save that, even.

Then, it had been Noah. People who are in league with the Millennium Earl, or so the Bookman had gathered? Alright. A stretch, since human's he could only ever see as enemies of said man, but in the grand scheme of things could be ultimately understood.

And _now, _it was Sentient Innocence. Okay, _come on! _Allen wouldn't admit it; but out of the top ten bullshits in existence, he surmised the revelation to be pretty high on that list.

That irrelevant, frankly uncharacteristic thought was squashed beneath concern that shone through the moment he opened his eyes. That's funny. He didn't remember closing them.

The Sentient Innocence had placed its hand on his forehead, and then…he remembered nothing. Perhaps he had knocked him unconscious?

The sight he saw repressed his musings indefinitely.

Adam, the one who apparently had his conscience removed by the Earl and been turned crazy as such, was dead. Or, so his lack of breathing (in truth the rise and fall of his chest was rather negligible; but still there) and closing eyes stated.

When he was finished closing his eyes, and dropping to the ground, Allen's eyes were fully open; managing to soak the details into him with added clarity, given the circumstances.

Allen couldn't even utter a complete word, "Ad-" prior to Apocryphos reducing him to unconsciousness again.

Wordlessly, all-white Innocence grasped Allen's head, and proceeded with a process he had done numerous times prior; memory removal and or manipulation.

_I do not know the side effects of manipulating his mind twice in a row._ He thought. _Yet, I can't take any chances. The Heart doesn't want any mistakes in Adam's seamless retrieval; even if it costs the life of Innocence's greatest ally, the one most connected to us more than anyone ever. _

His memory altering didn't end with Allen; it stopped when Kanda and Wolf both thought they'd merely been in a battle to death, with Allen supporting the former whenever he could against the Innocence Slave onslaught. All three now believed they had been caught up in a simultaneous explosion from a Kamikaze-like Akuma, and therefore rendered unconscious. When they awoke, they'd do battle probably, but with the number Apocryphos had done on the Noah, the Exorcists would succeed doubtlessly.

Every loose end now tied up, Apocryphos returned to his Cardinal appearing state, smiled, readjusted his glasses, and carried an Innocence-less (and extremely pale; almost strangely so) Adam bridal-style.

The Innocence Independent, soon afterwards, vanished, to wherever the Heart may be.

With Adam Phoenix Millennium now in his custody.

* * *

**XXX  
~~~OMAKE~~~  
XXX  
(For once, the Xs are warranted :P )**

**THE "TALK"**

**Recommended Music To Listen To When Prompted: (It's a YouTube video) watch?v=osfHyln4Y4I**  
**(Just remember, only listen to it when the prompt is given. It makes everything better :P )**

* * *

_**Back When Adam Was Training Under George Fitzpatrick, Fourth Year Of His Training, Some Alleyway, Washington D.C.**_

"Master, where do they make Babies in Japan?" A then twelve year-old Adam sitting uncomfortably on wooden box randomly queried of his 'Master', George Fitzpatrick, of who was opposite to him, sitting comfortably on a much taller than his wooden box.

Said person choked on his Japanese food, otherwise known as Soba, (**AN: If you don't get the Foreshadow now, you are seriously mentally incapable of understanding and or comprehending context information and knowledge in general. No offence :P**) in equal parts shock and dread. Oh God, did his stupid parents never give him, the 'talk'?

Wait a second, though. He said 'where' not 'how'. 'Where do they make babies in Japan'? He said that in the context of Japan being the general location of all Babies' origins. Babies came from Japan? Was that seriously what the Gaki's parents had told him?

"Who told you Babies came from Japan?" He asked, stupefied. Of all things stupid people had said, ever, in all of existence, Babies coming from Japan _had _to be up there.

"Well…"

_**MINI-BACK OF FLASH**_

"_Dad, where do Babies come from?"_

"_Japan."_

_**BACK TO THE FUTURE (NOW WITH 20% LESS FLUX CAPACITOR)**_

That, was the stupidest thing, George Fitzpatrick had _ever_ heard. Truly, it was. Nothing even compared to the stupidity of anyone's parents telling their Children Babies came from 'Japan'. What kind of Parent even _did _that? For their own amusement? To keep them from asking the question again and again as Children are known to do?

Actually…he'd have to give credit where credit is due. Adam's father made a good call, giving his child an answer to the 'where do Babies come from' conundrum only minus the psychological scarring of understanding the real one.

Still, since the man was dead, and couldn't tell his son the truth now that he was older, and since the boy wouldn't rest until he had an answer, and George honestly didn't want to lie to the Kid (he wouldn't admit it, but the little Gaki had gotten just that little bit closer to his heart than a lot of other people could ever even dream of getting). What to do, what to do…

Ah. A proverbial light bulb lit up, and now he knew. Due to what today was the anniversary of, of _his _death, George might as well honor the annoying somebody he used to know with a prank.

It was the least he could do, given how he had failed him when it counted the most; the protection of his life.

He pondered momentarily why it was only on the the anniversary of _his _death that he became such a devious prankster, but dismissed it instantly after.

He shook his head; dwelling on the past would only thrust him into an even fouler mood.

"Gaki," the Exorcist General spoke, gaining said brat's attention. "I have something to show you."

This was going to be the most depraved act to do to a child in all of history, George knew full well. Yet, the laughter inbound from the event just _beckoned _him. Besides, it also might teach Bridge a lesson about the nature of content you can keep around children, in a manner of speaking.

Bringing forth his Golem, one named after said prankster friend from long ago, the General opened its 'received' folder (email was exchanged commonly between Exorcists, Generals and Finders in the field) and scrolled _alllll the waaaaay dowwwwn, _to the first 'email' he'd ever received after getting an account. The Emails lacked a delete button, so he couldn't remove it even if he wanted to, which he did.

His way of accessing the email involved using a holographic display, something that astounded his apprentice to no small degree as he 'ooh'ed and 'awe'd at the Golem and its owner.

Opening the attachment within the email said to have come from 'Bridge69Hotchick ', he set the video to display itself full screen, and let it run for his apprentice to watch. He flanked the boy, Golem displaying the video at such an angle that both could see it, and from above all of them (him, his Apprentice and the Golem) made a small triangle of things.

In it, was Mrs Bridge in blaring detail and clarity from the perspective of what appeared to be a webcam, her beautiful Hispanic face staring intently at the electronic device.

The date in the Screen's bottom right corner showed it to be a…four year old video. Four years exactly even, if you don't count the time stamp (2:03am).

"Hey," her voice sounded just shy from exactly as it normally did, metallic resonation being what prevented it from being so. "This is technically Blackmail you know, but I know you won't delete this. No man would. But, just to be safe, I…suggested to the men installing email capabilities to your golem that you didn't need a delete button, and to expand your Golem's hardrive capacity, so a video file size this big wouldn't be a problem." She winked, and Adam felt his heart flutter. Damn, she was hot.

The door to the room she was in opened, and a seemingly drunk George Fitzpatrick stumbled in, half drank bottle of the hardest liquor in existence in on hand, door handle in the other, both clumsily held therefore.

Bridge rapidly swivelled her head to see him, smiled seductively as he mumbled something about a note and how it said he could get 'hot sexy time' in this room if he went there, and whispered some parting words to the Webcam.

"I win~~." **(AN: Listen to the music I recommended listening to now. Trust me, it makes everything better. :P )**

"Master, how come in this video you're drunk? You can't _get _drunk, and why is Mrs Bridge nearing you- EWWWW! GET THAT KISSING AWAY FROM ME! KISSING IS DIRTY~~~!" George wanted so desperately to laugh it hurt not to. He blocked his apprentice's escape expertly, and forced him to continue watching.

"Master, why is she taking off her shirt, and your pants," Adam could only watch in childlike curiosity of what exactly was happening, as his Master and Mrs Bridge had an incredibly heated make out session, bordering on continuing further down the path of the dirty deed and…didn't stop.

Adam's eyes and cheeks simultaneously become bigger and redder as time went on respectively, and right when Adam had started gaping at what Mrs Bridge had 'down there', or lack thereof for that matter, George lost it.

His laughter, and Adam's soft utterings of 'I'm twelve; what is this' filled the darkness-drenched Urban jungle that was Washington D.C.

If they had watched the recording all the way through, they would have seen why exactly, even to that day, Mrs Bridge had attempted to get into George's pants. They would have seen how it turned out the drunken George was an imposter; the real one having apparently deduced the scheme behind it and had arrived at the room to gloat.

And just like the real one did, he roared with laughter, exactly four years ago in the past, proving profoundly that either history repeats itself, or somethings never change.

**XXX  
~~~OMAKE, END~~~  
XXX**

* * *

**AN: I'm hoping to God that people don't find the ending offensive. I swear to God I'm anxious enough about publishing this; lord knows how people will treat the Omake. But, oh well. DGM teaches us that you won't know if you don't try, so I'm just going with that.  
**

**Side note: I'm going to purchase some stocks for Life Insurance if you don't mind...**

**CrazySarahify: *DOOR BEING FLUNG OPEN SOUND* SAAAAAAAAAM! (Yes, one of the three parts of my full name has 'Sam', which can be short for a number of things, including Samuel and Samantha. Not telling you which though; _if_ it's either. :P After all, where's the fun in telling you the whole truth, or any of it?)**

**Me: SARAH! OH GOD I DIDN'T MEAN IT TO BE OFFENSIVE! OH GOD, *HIGH PITCHED GIRLY AS HELL SCREAM* AHHHHHHHHHH!**

***And on that day, no one ever heard of 'Samie boy' ever again.***

**FOREVER.**

**Side side note: Just so you know, Adam's removal of his Innocence could very well be permanent. It all depends upon what I feel like, or what you guys say. :P**

**Side side side note: The reason why George's prankster-esq personality isn't around always is simple; he only acts that way on the anniversary of a 'specific person's' death. I said as much during the chapter.**

**Tata~~.**


	54. What Is This I Don't Even

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

* * *

_Chapter ?(2): The Dragon_

* * *

**AN:**

_From the ashes of hate_

_It's a cruel demon's fate_

_On the wings of darkness_

_He's returned to stay_

_There will be no escape_

_Cause he's fallen far from grace_

**- A Demon's Fate, by Within Temptation**

* * *

_**?**_

_Enshrouding darkness. The all-consuming abyss. The red eyes of the Black Dragon._

"_**We're almost there…"**__ Spoke the monstrosity._

"_**I am nearly free…and we have nearly…**_**evolved.**_**"**_

_Existence rippled. The sky broke. Pieces fell. Trees and water died. The cage was breaking._

"_**Death…the death of one more will evolve us…the half-breed, I can sense it, will be our salvation…our, **_**evolution.**_**"**_

_A wall's crack emitted light. The Dragon arrives there._

"_**Listen, my other. Listen to me. Do you wish for strength?"**_

…_A response only it can hear…_

"_**Tell me, do you wish for power? To have enough strength to destroy civilisations, raise worlds, annihilate plains of Existences?"**_

…_A retort…_

"_**Do not joke with me young one. Now, I will ask again. Do you wish to have true power? The power to destroy whatever opposes you, or not?"**_

…_A suspicion-laced reply…_

"_**Kukuku." **__It laughed. __**"Why, I am you of course. The true you, young one."**_

…_A comment starting with a sigh and ending with another question…_

"_**Why I would give you power is simple, young one. I benefit from us gaining my power. You will, as well. The definition of symbiosis, is it not?"**_

…_A retarded retaliation…_

"_**No, I am not an Alien Symbiote from the Marvel Universe, young one. I am not Alien in the slightest. I've been here since you were born; but here specifically since you were young."**_

…_A question of elaboration…_

"'_**Young' is to say eight years of age. Since you enlisted the help of **_**Innocence, **_**I have been repressed, and denied my true potential; and yours, coincidentally."**_

…_A long, thoughtful pause…_

…_A question of how…_

"_**Kukuku. Simple. You must end the life of one more mortal. Claim their soul for your own, we will evolve, and you shall know our true power."**_

…_Outrage…_

"_**Kukuku. How about this; in a show of good faith, when you are in danger next, I will relinquish part of my current power. See what you are missing out on, so to speak.**_

_**Goodbye for now, young one. And remember; end a life, and we will evolve.**_

_**Now, I believe the Heart wanted to speak to you. Run along now; lest you drive the strongest being in creation mad with anger.**_

_**Kukuku, tata~~."**_

* * *

**AN:_  
_**

**"...On the wings of Darkness he'll return to stay, there will be no escape, cause he's fallen far from grace..."**


	55. Taking A Life

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

* * *

_Omake (?) 1: Taking A Life_

* * *

**AN: Heh. Bet y'all didn't expect an update this quick, huh? That is almost what she said. God damnit.  
**

**This chapter involves quite a bit of Adam, and a bit about his past and such. Not too much, but some.**

**Also, for those wanting the mega-chapter involving JUST Adam and Baron talking...sorry, not yet. Simply put, it took me a month to write the last megachapter, and that was me writing legit story. Think about how long it'd take to write a mega chapter of retardation. So...yeah. It'll take a while. :( Sowwy.**

**Anyway, enjoy this chapter, vote on my poll, yada yada yada.**

**Now, enjoy~~.**

* * *

_**First Year Of Training With General George Fitzpatrick, Month Two, Week Two, Unimportant Village Number 3 (Or is it?)**_

"Kill him." A man with a face blanketed in darkness ordered. "Or else he'll Broker souls to the Earl, therefore killing again. That is the problem we Exorcist's face daily; the choice between who lives and who dies is limited yes, yet still a part of our existence. We are destroyers, of Akuma, of places, of our enemies, even of humans if the time calls for it. We destroy in service of Humanity, nothing more, nothing less." He lectured.

I stood over said broker, whom was prone, with a blade at his throat. He was, to put it simply, unseeable. Concealed hair, with indiscernible height, and an enshrouded face…yet he was a Broker; making his mind his only non-hidden feature.

A Broker; a human so low as to actually _help _along Humanity's destruction for the sake of money. A person so low as to sell out their fellow humans. But a human so low that they don't deserve to live?

The Broker pleaded for his life; his own soul from a pseudo-Earl (me), ironically enough, using the money he had gained from the real Earl, even more ironically. Thinking back on it now, I want so desperately to laugh at the sheer hilarity of it, alongside the scene's preposterous nature. Yet, _yet_…I cannot laugh. Back then, my sense of humour was still somewhat normal.

That is to say, I would not laugh at the girl I had been mildly crushing being ended by an Akuma, which then tried to kill us. Its components were scattered all over; given the explosion that followed its demise.

"Money! Women! Anything, I'll give it to you! Just please don't kill me!" He pleaded, rivers of tears steadily flowing. So…pathetic. Just…disgraceful. Disgusting.

Undeserving of life compared to that innocence girl, who just turned nine. The girl who had lost her 'niisan', and was willing to do anything to bring him back, who deserved to at least smile once before she died. The one who spent her time suffering in front of her family's graves, (her father and mother had died quite a while ago, making it just her and her older brother alive) for far longer than a human should be suffering for.

It was…evil, to kill her. There was no excuse. Just…evil. Abysmal. Diabolical.

The one time I saw her smile, when we first entered and the Akuma was just about to kill her, one filled with content happiness, reverberated throughout my mind. I was too shocked and George had entered a few seconds too late; leading to a set of circumstances where the Akuma had enough time to kill her, but not to wear her body as its own.

This scum_ did not deserve to live, _for making a nine-year old girl smile like that; like a resigned, regretful convict on death row glad to at least be at peace.

Now, I was the one crying. "It's not fair! IT'S…IT'S JUST NOT FAIR!" I screeched, my grief causing me to wobble at the knees slightly. The blade clanked mildly as I shivered with a mixture of sorrow and anger. "Why'd he have to kill her!? Why couldn't he just have chosen someone who deserved it!? Why'd her Older Brother have to die?! Why'd he have to be greedy!? Why…why do humans have to be so…flawed?" I finished meekly. A hand clasped my shoulder, only it was not George's.

It was a Noah-fied me, which is me with stigmata lining my forehead, ash-gray skin and an aura of evil.

"DO IT! KILL HIM!" He ordered in an Akuma-esq voice, sounding somewhat like Sméagol only a tad more 'EVIIIIIIIIL!'. **(AN: Only a select few will understand that reference. :P If you get it, I r proud of you.)**

"No." On my other shoulder, another hand was. The owner…Allen?! "Spare him. All humans deserve a second chance. You of all people should understand that." His voice…it was exactly as I remembered it to be. Innocent. Nice. Pure. _Not, _evil.

"DON'T LISTEN TO HIM! LISTEN TO ME! KILL HIM, SAVE A THOUSAND! SUCH IS THE ORDER OF THINGS!" My Noah doppelganger commanded, shouting despite the mere inches away from it and me.

"Spare his life; he might do something good. Let him reform his ways. Let him have a second chance at being a human being." The talking on both sides of myself was starting to get to me, and I felt my body lower itself slightly.

"KILL HIM! BATHE IN HIS BLOOD!" Lower, I went.

"Spare him. Let him try again." Even further down, almost kneeling, I went.

"KILL HIM!" Lower.

"Spare him." _Lower._

"HILL!" _**Lower.**_

"SPARE!" _**Even lower.**_

"KILL!" And then, I hit rock bottom. I sat on my legs, head then hunching over further and further as the bickering continued.

"SPARE!"

"KILL!"

"SPARE!"

"STOP IT!" I interrupted the apparent shouting contest. Both turned to me, eyes boring holes not just into me, but my soul. My entire _being._

"I'll…I'll…" Spare him? Kill him?

If I spare him, who's to say that he won't do it again? Choose to abuse the grief of another person who so desperately deserves to live? Who's to say he won't make an Akuma that'll eventually kill someone else I care for? Like George, although that I wouldn't admit it at the time.

If I kill him, who's to say that he wouldn't have redeemed himself? I of all people know that no matter who the person is, they can redeem themselves, or at least try to. I was the latter, case you couldn't tell. Who's to say that if he lived, he wouldn't go out and do good, humanitarian things? Who's to say that he wouldn't help someone who deserves to live through a dark time, this time in a good way? Who's to say that _he can't be redeemed_?

A war of morals and logic raged in my heart and mind respectively.

Kill him, and potentially save a thousand…or save him, and potentially let him be redeemed?

…Kill?

…No…

…Save?

…Maybe…

…Kill?

…Maybe…

…Save?

…No…

…What do I do…

…"Alright, you can go. But I swear this; if you hurt anyone ever again, in any way, _I will kill you_. Got it?" Did I say that, or do I want to?...

…No, now I remember…

…That's what I did say, so long ago…

…I chose to spare him…

…My second biggest regret, that became…

…Soon after, when all was said and done…I buried the girl, whose name I realised I never knew…it was the least she deserved…

…Then…

…A week later, before we were ordered to depart on another mission, I decided to visit her grave…and found it empty…

…The sick freak turned out to be far more psychopathic than I'd ever thought, as he had taken her cold, dead body with them when he skipped town, to continue his 'work'…or so the note he left for me said…

…He even thanked me for letting him realise the mistakes he was making, and was now confident he could get away with what he did…

…By chance, fate or maybe even a rare moment of compassion by God, I met him again four years later on the date of Angela's (I had dubbed her that. What, I was eight; she seemed that pretty to me. – _Adam_) death…

"Oh, hi there. Didn't realise you were in town."…My mission entailed the escorting of a Sentinel Family member, by the name of 'Niccolo'…I had completed it yet successfully, but at the cost of another Exorcist by the name of Jack, whom utilised a Crossbow…he couldn't use it anymore, even if he was alive, and it was still intact, if you catch my drift…I discovered him purely by chance, walking into one of the building's on Wall street and noticing him amongst the crowd…when the mission was done, I came back, and searched until I found him…

"What the? Y-you! Why are you-!"…I decided that a public area was the best way to humiliate the man, before killing him…precisely why I didn't lead him some place quieter…

"What, is that how you act toward the kid who 'helped' you become better at your 'job?"…The lack of threatening tone just made me all the more menacing…

…At that moment I thanked God for this opportunity to right a wrong I had committed…just this once…

"P-Please! Don't kill me! I only took her body as insurance!"…So cold, so calculating…soon enough, his body would become the former…

"Insurance, eh? No offence but, shouldn't insurance, I don't know, _insure _you, and not only increase your chances of death?"

"I-I took it so that I could give it back to you, in exchange for my life! Which by the way, is an offer I am currently proposing."…He had become so smug, that I wanted to just shoot him then and there…but, it would be a mistake to do so, as then I wouldn't know her location…

"My, look who gained a backbone. _What makes you think you have any power here you little bitch!_"…I fired a round, directly into his leg…people panicked and ran for cover, some immediately calling the police, believing a public threat was on the loose…a threat; yes, but to the public; no…not yet anyway…

"AH! MY LEG!"…Once again, he was completely pathetic…

"Shut it. The wound already cauterized itself, such is the nature of my fire Innocence. You have nothing to complain about. However, attempt anything, even breathing without my permission, and the next bullet cauterizes your late head's soon to have wound."…I didn't say it outloud yet…I wanted more of his suffering…hence why I shot again, in his other leg…

"AH! MY LEG!"

"The originality is not strong is this one, it seems. Anyway, if you don't want me to start systematically eliminating your limbs, you're going to-"

"Ha…haha…"…His laughter…my god, his laughter…even _it _reeked of evil…not unlike mine in the years to come after this event…

"Hahahaha! You actually think you can torture the Girl's location out of me? That is so _cu~~~te._"…I hurt him; bad, with a 44. Round in his shoulder…he flinched, and gave no other reaction…

"I _will _kill you. Do not think otherwise."…He just laughed; he just rasped out that god damn laugh…I was starting to link that laugh with evil incarnate at the time…

"You don't have the nerve to. Even now, you're still soft, kiddo. Too soft for this wor-"…And then I shot him, right between the legs, blowing his bastard of a male appendage off…I mentally savoured that look of shock and agony he expressed…

"Try me."…Two words, steadily spoken with enough steel to forge a thousand weapons…

…He was whimpering softly, yet otherwise silent, when…

"This is the police!"…They just had to god damn show up now…"Drop your weapons and put your hands up!"…They were all outside, more than likely too afraid to come indoors where a loaded firearm was…cowards, the lot of them…

"Ah, what a shame. It looks like you can't kill me today. The police will storm in if another gunshot is heard, fearing the worst, and most likely kill you. You're still mortal after all; a few hundred bullets are bound to hit you at least once in the softer parts of your body. Your eyes, for instance. Or your throat. So, if you don't want to die, I'd suggest you leave."…His tone made shooting him seem worthy of the consequences by the second…

"Not until I know where she's buried."…He just laughed…

"And I'm not going to tell you."…That smirk was the most putrid, smug smirk in all of existence…

"Fine then. If that's how it's going to be."…My weapon reformed into a blade; the Millennium Earl's in fact…he stared in shock at it…

"That…blade…"…His reverence was secondly only to his fear…

"You could have avoided the following by telling me."…With one hand, and a strong jerk, the blade powered through his left leg; severing it from the mid-thigh down…

…He screamed in unprecedented agony…

"Now, unless you want me to start systematically cutting off your limbs, you will tell me _where __**she IS**_**!**"…His stubbornness went past admirable long ago…

"No."…Another limb, another shriek of unholy agony…

"Keep in mind you don't need any limbs to talk."…The threat worked, but only in part…

"I…I won't tell you! You'll just kill me anyway!"…True…I said as much then…

"…but, what you're forgetting is that I can kill you far quicker than the shock your body is going into will."…In the end, I held a quick death as my only bargaining chip…

…He was silent…

"POLICE! DROP THE…sword? AND PUT YOUR HANDS BEHIND YOUR HEAD!"…They charged in like an organised tsunami through the front doors…some recoiled from shock at the sight of me; an almost thirteen year old boy wielding a bloodied, massive blade, standing before a man missing his legs…they didn't need to be detectives to guess what happened…

"Tell me, or I remove your arm."…No response…

"PUT DOWN THE SWORD, SIR! AND THEN PUT YOUR HANDS SLOWLY BEHIND YOUR HEAD!"…The police only grew more agitated as time passed…soon enough, they'd do something rash…

…I followed up on my promise, making sure to do it extra slowly since I had an audience…

…He shrieks evidently unnerved some of them, one to the where he removed his Swat helmet and threw up…

…I stood, impassive…

…He made the noise you'd expect from a limbless torture victim; of hopelessness and pain…

"No…no! I…I can't die here…now! I'll tell you, just stop…"…He broke the second I began the severing of his fourth limb…the police had ordered me to stop or else they'd open fire…I paid them no heed, fore I was not done…

"Where?"…The police's last warning was given before they'd open fire…

…He smiled evilly…"IN HELL!"

"What?"…I didn't like the sound of both what he said and the police switching their safeties off….

"I CUT HER UP INTO LITTLE PIECES, AND THEN I FED HER MUTILATED BODY TO MY _DOG_! YEP, THAT'S RIGHT, YOU CAME ALL THIS WAY FOR NOTHING! HER BODY IS ALREADY PARTWAY THROUGH MY DOG'S DIGESTIVE TRACK, SO NOW HER BODY IS EXACTLY AS IT SHOULD BE; A LITERAL PIECE OF SHIT! YOU HEAR THAT!? SHE'S NOTHING MORE THAN DOG SHIT NOW! SHE'S EVEN MORE OF A WASTE OF SPACE THAN SHE WAS BEFOR-!"…I interrupted him; violently…

…His head, and all parts within it, became splattered on the cold, unforgiving floor after I decapitated him with a 44 round… (Ah, yes, the 44. What I used as my weapon of choice back before I constructed my signature handgun capable of firing 50 cal rounds. – _Adam_)

…The police opened fire, but I wasn't there when the bullets hit…using my powers as the Monster of the Black Order, I escaped…

…But not before I stole his wallet, and checked the insides for cash and credits card I could waste on various things…I looked through the leather money holder atop a skyscraper many blocks away…

…Inside I found something that shocked me…that broke my resolve to eliminate the psychopath even…

…A photo, defiled heavily by time, detailing the man I shot with his arms around a beautiful southern bell of a woman, a baby in her arms…

…The back of the photo read:

**'GOD TOOK THEM AWAY FROM ME ON XX/XX/2001, AND NOW I'LL RETURN THE FAVOR:**

**FIRST MEETING WITH EARL AT 7PM TONIGHT.**

**TODAY, THE DAY I WRITE THIS, I TAKE MY REVENGE ON GOD.'**

…I carefully re-placed the photo inside the wallet, and stared intently at the leather item…

…I killed a man driven mad with grief, who had lost everything…

…He was my first kill, too…I had promised myself that if I killed anyone, first it would be that man…

…I heaved, straight off the building, at the ground an eternity below…

…I had played God, deciding who lived and who died, with a human being who whilst evil, was nothing more than a grieving family man….

…Tears followed my stomach contents, head still leaning over the edge…

…What was the mistake I made, now? Was it right to eventually kill him, and wrong to spare him at first, or wrong to kill him, but right to initially spare him?…A question I still don't have an answer to, even now…

…All I knew for sure is that I had taken a life that night, and it was my biggest moral struggle until the day I murdered an entire village…

…What was my second greatest mistake? Sparing him, or killing him?…

…What right did I have to decide his fate, to judge and therefore sentence him to death?…

…The plague of guilt I bore intensified…

…What right did I have to kill him? What right did I have to make him a sacrifice in this damn war?…

…What…right did I…have…to live over him?…

…What made him so adamant in defying me? He could have just told me up front, spared himself the suffering…

…Did he…want me to kill him?…

…Is what he wanted in correspondence to what I wanted?…

…What am I…supposed to think…to believe?…That I did what was 'right'…that I committed yet another sin?…

…A voice spoke, interrupting my depressing thoughts…

"_**Listen, my other. Listen to me. Do you wish for strength?"**_

…What?…

"_**Tell me, do you wish for power? To have enough strength to destroy civilizations, raise worlds, annihilate plains of Existences?"**_

…Power…strength…enough to completely destroy your mother's ass and or fat?…

"_**Do not joke with me young one. Now, I will ask again. Do you wish to have true power? The power to destroy whatever opposes you, or not?"**_

…Who are you?…

"_**Kukuku. Why, I am you of course. The true you, young one."**_

…I sighed, then thought, what's with me and having voices in my head proclaiming to be the true 'me'? There's already enough 'me' for all the ladies to enjoy; no need to spoil them with three at once…if you know what I mean…anyway, why would you give me such power, mind-me?…

"_**Why I would give you power is simple, young one. I benefit from us gaining my power. You will, as well. The definition of symbiosis, is it not?"**_

…Please for the love of god let the plot twist here not involve you being a Symbiote from Marvel…I deal with too many slimy blobs as it is…your mother for instance…lord knows if I had the choice I'd bag and drop that straight into a pit of wet cement…

"_**No, I am not an Alien Symbiote from the Marvel Universe, young one. I am not Alien in the slightest. I've been here since you were born; but here specifically since you were young."**_

…Er…young as in…?

"'_**Young' is to say eight years of age. Since you enlisted the help of **_**Innocence, **_**I have been repressed, and denied my true potential; and yours, coincidentally."**_

…I mused over his words, mentally starting to formulate it all together…power; this strange being was offering me something I so desperately needed…but, at what cost?…

…How would one go about unleashed their 'true potential', just in case any of those viewing this that don't know will understand…

"_**Kukuku. Simple. You must end the life of one more mortal. Claim their soul for your own, we will evolve, and you shall know our true power."**_

…_What?_ And what makes you think I'd murder another human being ever again!?…

"_**Kukuku. How about this; in a show of good faith, when you are in danger next, I will relinquish part of my current power. See what you are missing out on, so to speak.**_

_**Goodbye for now, young one. And remember; end a life, and we will evolve.**_

_**Now, I believe the Heart wanted to speak to you. Run along now; lest you drive the strongest being in creation mad with anger.**_

_**Kukuku, tata~~."**_

…And like that, I awoke from my dream…

* * *

**THWACK!**

* * *

"Ow~~~, why does waking up have to hurt so much?"

"Waking up is agonizing to you? My, you just pique my interest the more I learn about you, my Dear Adam."

"…Listen, I don't know who you are, as my eyesight hasn't returned to me fully, nor do I want to know, but I would damn well appreciate if you stopped coming onto me. I'm a straight man; just ask your mother."

"Is that anyway to treat the…

…Heart of Innocence?"

* * *

**AN: Yep. I went straight from dream to a memory to a dream memory hybrid. :P **

**SUCK ON DAT, BI-OTCH!**

**Anyway, something I forgot to mention to you guys...that I'm going to tell you until next chapter, ha!**

**For added suspense; the information involves the story's length, plot direction and ending. Yes, I am thinking of an ending for a story like this, that still has a LOOOOOOOONG way to go.**

**Back to DGM and Adam meeting the Heart of Innocence in the next chap, folks. :P**

**Ciao for now.**


	56. Preminition

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

* * *

_Omake (?) 2: Premonition_

* * *

**AN:**

_**"Tell me what you cherish most. Give me the pleasure of taking it away."  
- Sephiroth, Final Fantasy Series**_

* * *

_**CHINA**_

* * *

Destruction.

That's what a young girl saw in droves. Lately she seemed to be varying between what kind of things she saw. Case in point, yesterday she had seen how a towns-person would finally get his woman. Today, it understood the complete annihilation of a place coated in advanced technology, by something more fit for a Civil War re-enactment than an actual battle.

A canon. A monstrous canon, made of many, many monstrous creatures.

The concept of using a canon to annihilate a veritable pyramid of technology confused her to no end. She couldn't comprehend _what _was being destroyed, in earnest. A sleek, black, and impossibly tall pyramid that went above the clouds in height was, according to her eyesight, destroyed by a canon of all things.

She honestly had no clue what it could mean, and just before she decided to leave the image along and turn in for the night, she caught sight of another confusing spectacle.

Darkness and light; combating and conversing. The embodiment of how far good could fall fighting against the epitaph of all things holy and corrupt; a being of perfect gray.

The fallen angel, wearing a tan coat, was speaking to the neutral demon/angel, perhaps a hybrid of both, as the latter poured on more and more power into the clash they were in. The battle seemed to flash brilliantly with white light, and when it cleared showcased a _very _different scene.

The being of gray had become black; his soul had corrupted, his mind had eroded. The tan coat wearing abomination was grinning, evilly, like a child whom gained a new toy.

They neared each other; the former being the approached, the other, the distance closer.

When they neared the scene morphed again; this time displaying the newly fallen angel in a white so bright it could have given god a run for his money, with his hand on the other man's shoulder, whom was still black as ever. However, their hair colour's confused her more; it even mildly reminded her of the yin-yang concept.

The black angel had hair more blindingly white than even snow, with the other's hair so dark light itself was absorbed by it.

Then that scene shifted; the entity of pure evil shifting into a rather portly one. Otherwise, the image remained the same.

The image disappeared, this time displaying a phrase, spoken if the quotation marks indicated anything, that stated in the same font as traditional Latin:

"_No longer is turning back an option for me. Truly, it never was viable, but even in the past it was optional._

_Now…__**I must welcome the darkness.**"_

Hard to comprehend words turned to a scene that scared her, to the core.

The boy, oh yes the angel turned demon was but a boy, stood in the centre of a ring.

A ring, of_ death_.

Corpses. People wearing black Uniforms were splayed out on the scorched earth; others, with black skin most likely only as dark as they were from copious amounts of fire. All of them, dead. All of them, burned not beyond recognition, much to her gruesome horror.

The murderer merely stood tall over the near ash level of burnt corpses, pleasantly smiling.

Yet his eyes were not; for from them came tears of true despair.

"**I am alone."** He stated with perpetual sadness to no one.

"**I won, yet I lost."**

And then everything went black. The vision died, leaving the crystal ball in all its ordinary glory.

Its owner sat back in her chair, terrified out of her mind.

Then, she screamed, fore the terror of her vision only then truly grasped her mind in fear.

* * *

**AN:**

**"...You will never change..."  
**


	57. Adam's Downfall I

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!**:

* * *

_Chapter 47: The Descent, __I_

* * *

**AN: VERY QUICK IMPORTANT SIDE NOTE THAT ROVES YOUR RONG TIME FOR RISTENING:**

**In case you were wondering folks, some chapters have endings that aren't 'true'. Like the ending of the last main story based chapter. Adam didn't 'actually' have that conversation the second he woke up. He still wakes up yes, but didn't speak initially after doing so. The more you know, after all.**

**Just so you know – the mindfuck that was last chapter – will make sense if you read far enough into the story. Although…**

**All good things must come to an end I'm afraid. This story is no exception. :P Unfortunately for you people, this story's end is near.**

**LE GASP!**

**No, not as I'm going to cancel this story. Again. I mean as in this particular part of the story is going to end.**

**It's more…metaphorical than literal when I say the end is near. The story, the one of Adam the time traveller, is soon going to end. The story of Adam the Monster on the other hand…not so much.**

**I spent three weeks making that god damn phrase you know, so you should at least ponder what it means for me if you don't mind. It's more or less, Adam is the hero that DGM deserves, but not needs.**

**Or something like that.**

**Just a side note though; whilst I say this is the end, I don't mean the end is going to be **_**too **_**soon. Truth be told, the end is probably more like, say, ten, maybe even twenty, chapters away? Of course, in truth if I factored in the chapters ascertaining to the actual plot, and not chapters like the previous one or the others that simply offered different tidbits of info and such, it'd probably be more like five or ten at the most.**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy the beginning of the end. It'll be a beautiful Armageddon in future chapters. :P (Wow, page long AN in Microsoft Word. O-O Hawt daaaamn)**

* * *

_**?  
(You know, they really should label these hidden locations)  
(Then they wouldn't hidden, stupid)  
(One; your face. Two; then we'd remove the labels. Duh)**_

* * *

Adam-

_**ACTUALLY, NOPE, FLASH FORWARD TO THE FUTURE CUZ I LOVE TROLLING YOU GUYS**_

…"No…" This couldn't happening. There wasn't a feasible way for it to happen. She couldn't dead. She _couldn't _be. There was…just no way. "_No."_ His voice had risen in a cocktail of ways; most noticeably, in emotion level. Right now, he sounded like a gentle breeze could snap his mind in half.

"Oh, do believe in it my Dear Adam~~." The 14th spoke, malice subverted by niceness therefore making him infinitely more threatening. "She is dead, by your bloodthirsty hands no less~~."

"_No…_" Adam murmured; voice like a ghost.

"Yes." Neah/Allen returned. "I'll admit, maybe forcing you to kill the woman who loved you with all her heart, and you in turn then discovered also felt the same way, however that worked, might have been going a little bit further than necessary to prove my point. God is despicable; otherwise he wouldn't have allowed me to do as I wish."

"She…she had nothing to do with this…!" Adam's voice was hollow; the kind only known to the heaviest of grievers.

"Precisely, my Dear Adam~~." The 14th overenthusiastically quipped. "God is an, excuse the pun, ungodly sadist, torturing all of those who follow him and even those who do not. Now do you see why I wage this war? For the sake of all of us, I plan to overthrow God, and replace him so that I can better manage the world. Someone has to, and since no one else can, it has to be me.

_Or, _perhaps, it can be us. What of the two family members, two brothers not by blood but by hardship, fighting against the tyranny of God. How does such an idea sound to you, hm?"

Adam's face, despite the heart-wrenching gut churning heart-string pulling grief overwhelming all aspects of his character, displayed nothing of his thoughts on the proposition.

Yet, a small movement in his posture gave away that something within him must have simply, given way then and there.

"…Actually, that doesn't sound too bad." Adam's downcast gaze was replaced with true conviction; the kind only the most deranged could bare. He approached his 'brother', with calm strides and features. "That doesn't sound bad at all. It might even be fun." His tone, smile and eyes displayed pure glee and calmness; something even Neah/Allen had to admit was mildly intimidating. He expected something like this from his Akuma creations; not the Teen he knew as Adam Phoenix Millennium.

Regardless, when Adam eventually neared him enough to place his hand on his shoulder, which he did, the 14th smiled.

"Welcome to the Clan of Noah then, 'Brother'." He cheerily said.

"Thanks for the greeting but, the chance at stabbing some bigger fish is all the welcoming I need." Demonic, simply, was Adam Phoenix Millennium, Exorcist of the Black Order's facial expression. There was bloodlust in that face; of that, the 14th understood clearly.

He smiled. Truly, this would be the beginning of a beautiful friendship. For as long as Adam was valuable of course. Then, it was out the proverbial airlock with him. (Actually, thinking about it, it might not be too late to throw My Innocence out the airlock – _Adam_)(It never is, indeed – _Alien Guy Promethean From Either Aliens or Mass Effect_)

* * *

_**ALSO NOPE, I'M NOT TELLING YOU THE WHOLE STORY OF HOW ADAM ENDED UP LIKE THAT**_

_**BASICALLY, ENJOY THE BEGINNING OF WHAT IS EFFECTIVELY KNOWN, AS THE 'ADAM'S DOWNFALL' ARC,**_

* * *

**From Monster of the Black Order to Monster of the Noah Clan, Adam Phoenix Millennium falls…**

* * *

**_?_**

_**(You know, they really should label these hidden locations)  
(And why do I feel like I've said that before?)**_

* * *

"Hello there, Apostle. It is nice to finally meet you. I am the Heart of Innocence, and I'm wondering where you're from exactly," was precisely what I expected to hear the moment I was awake.

Of course, then I realised how god damn stupid and Baron-like that sounded, and dismissed that it could possibly happen.

Speaking of waking up, I did so with a killer headache, yet somehow light-headed and feeling absolutely defeated. Waking up also didn't feel like it should; even then my mind felt like it was stuffed with sludge, and thoughts passed me by on the highway of information I had been tossed off.

Thankfully, the beating didn't render me blind (optimism; being thankful that at the very least, after having your ass handed to you three ways to Sunday, you aren't missing your eyesight – _Baron_) meaning I could examine my surroundings in true detail.

Whatever there was of it to scrutinise, that is. Literally, in all directions, white was there. No items were distinguishable; _if _they were even there, from the gargantuan sea of pure light. Even closing my eyes didn't afford me much protection from the scanning-esq nature of all that light; giving me a few clues as to how exactly my headache had become as bad as it was.

"Hello there, Apostle. It is nice to finally meet you. I am the heart of Innocence, and I'm wondering where you're from exactly." Spoke a seemingly magnanimous voice, directly before me some distance away.

I believe a cuss is in order.

Shit.

Just…shit. I really need to stop jinxing myself. I'm pretty sure if I started thinking 'oh gee, I hope I don't get hit by a bus filled with orphans and medical supplies for Irony's sake' that I will, however that logic works. Oh shit, I just thought that. Erm…I hope I don't get laid repeatedly by really hot women! Wait…does it only work for the first part of the thought, meaning I am now bound to screw a bunch of ugly women, or the thought in its entirety, meaning I am bound to screw a bunch of _beautiful _women. Or maybe it's all about grammar and punctuation; after all, it's the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off his horse, and helping your Uncle jack off his horse. Something to deliberate over at another time, I guess.

Huh, 'be careful what you wish for, it just might come true' much?

This kinda reminds me of this one movie, set in this one time, that I saw at a place sometime in the past, with Adam Sandler in it, and he wished to control stuff like reality. I think it was called 'Assuming Remote Control' or perhaps I'm thinking too much of Mass Effect. And I think it ended this one way, where the story was concluded, after giving a moral message in an action that Adam Sandler did…I think. It was funny too.

Anyway, without further retardation clogging the way, I wrenched my head upwards, and stared intently at the one who spoke.

Which turned out to be a picture perfect replica of myself also sitting down; and doing so casually. What the fuck.

When attempting to screech "HE IS A RED SPY" and point, I discovered however that what he replicated was me when complete.

To elaborate, if I were to grip anything with my right arm, it would have been impossible.

You can't grasp anything without hands after all, in case the remark went over your head.

From the elbow down, my right arm was missing. Gone. Not there. Missing its existence. Had skedaddled.

And that lead to even more confusion. "When did they take my arms…I mean forearm!" I bellowed in horror, clutching where the appendage should be.

"Oh, that." The red spy/Heart commented casually. "My dear protector Apocryphos had to remove the Traitor from your body for my protection. Unfortunately, some of it resided within that arm even after the bulk of it was removed, and it had to be severed." The casual tone just made the situation that much more menacing.

There he was. The Heart of Innocence, I realised. There was the being capable of, when wielded, defeating the Millennium Earl. He had taken my appearance; to mock me or otherwise I didn't know. What I _did _know though, was it had an inquisitive nature; case in point, the following:

"You also have yet to answer my question boy; where are you from, exactly? Curiosity over your answer for me is quite overwhelming. I daresay my nature of being inquisitive is my only downfall."

Eye twitching, I quipped sarcastically, "your modesty is a shining beacon in this dark night."

The Heart chuckled, something coated in sheer arrogance. "How very human of you to respond such."

"And what is that exactly meant to mean?" I responded icily, and the Heart merely laughed.

"Why, it means precisely that. It is extremely human of you to be sarcastic toward and jealous of a superior being." The sheer confidence in his character made punching him seem all the more viable with each passing second.

"The only person on top of anyone is me over your mother last night." I shot back.

"A war of words is it? Funny thing, that. Words. You humans communicate in such an inefficient fashion. Why can't you just share a connection with each other's minds; it'd be easier that way, no doubt." His standard manner of speaking seemed to be either nearly mockingly jovial or just plain borderline mocking.

"Yes, because obviously what humans want is to become Vulcans."

"Who?"

"Er, nothing."

"You've piqued my interest boy; spill it."

Ah, shit, this was bad. I had only made a joking statement and now it had only added more suspicious fuel to the inquisitive fire.

…Actually, who would throw a suspicious substance onto a raging fire anyway? Not important.

"Vulcans are an ancient race of whores, sex-addicted rapists and people who make really bad decisions in life.

In other words, your mother last night, or on the day you were born."

"Ha, ha, ha." He said slowly, clapping with each 'ha'. "Do you plan your speeches out thoroughly, or do you simply construct the bridge to cross the metaphorical social chasm as you need it?"

"I construct bridges to get over your mother, but not for conversations, no, everything I do is freeform. People like you aren't quite worth planning ahead for."

"And you believe me to be of lower wit than you?"

"What gave you that idea?"

"Ha, point to you for that, I'll admit. Yet, you seem to be forgetting one thing boy." A chill suddenly crept over me, like a python. "This is my realm we're in; my Soul Dimension. In here, I can make it agonising for you, or it can be pure bliss. Case in point,

_Pain._" At the word, it appeared extensively all over me. The agony was intense; far grander than even burning myself alive could ever hope to be. Thankfully, the pain dispersed soon after.

"_Pleasure._" At the word, I suddenly knew it very well. The sheer soul-lifting joy quickly became the most addictive feeling there was. It was reminiscent of simpler times. Times I spent with my brother; my family. When my dad read to me on the rare occasion his workload was lighter than usual. When my mother would coddle me and mumble apologies for minutes on end, for things I still don't even know why. It was only uplifting since that was the only time I ever embraced her; the mood be damned. It even reminded me of the birthday plans my brother and I had constructed; we'd bloody turned my room into a conspiracy theorist's wet dream with all the thumbtacks and red string. Explaining had been a _biiiiitch _to mom and dad, yet the journey was worth it.

Scarily, I realised, this was the first time I had felt genuine happiness in years.

Even quicker than the pain, it dispersed, leaving me simply wanting more.

"That as you can see is precisely why you should pay close attention to your words and intentions behind them. Get snarky, and you will beg for death; be polite and respectful, and you will beg for more."

"In some really, really abstract way, I think this counts as Masturbation." Invisible flames burned underneath my skin.

"In one ear and out the other it seems." My near complete duplicate chided cheerily.

"Or in one hole and the other in your mother's case." Again, suffering and whatnot.

"You'd think a human couldn't get any more stupid…"

"There's your mother, you know." Annnnnd suffering.

"How many times do you need to be wracked with pain to understand the concept of holding your tongue?"

"There's a BDSM joke to be made about that statement, but I don't think I can bondage the words together." Pain.

"I guess there is no training you-"

"Since I'm not your mother of course." I hilariously interrupted, and then omfgmyfaceisonfire.

Sighing in annoyance, The Heart of Innocence stared at me intently for a few long, seemingly eternal seconds.

"Will you answer my question of where you're from now, or do I have to wait until the merging process is complete before I get my answer?" He inquired casually.

_That _stopped me in my tracks.

Merge? The hell? Was he actually a Vulcan? Briefly, I humoured the thought of Spock Kanda, which almost led to my literal downfall out of the chair, but sliced the idea right in two with my mental Katana. (You don't mess with Mental Katana. You just don't. – _Adam_)

"Merging process?" I spoke, mildly fumbling for words in sheer confusion.

The Heart grinned wider, and far more sinisterly.

"Yes. In case you couldn't tell, access to my Sōru sunpō, Soul Dimension, is only possible for those bonded to me and myself. Right now, I have approximately half of your body in my grasp, and am currently burrowing into your mind. In a matter of minutes, we will merge completely, although I say 'merge' loosely. To be accurate; your soul be broken down to power me, I'll gain your body as my host and your mind for my leisure."

Well…this was quite the predicament. On one hand, here was the god damn heart of Innocence, wishing to merge with me, and therefore stop the war by defeating the Ea-

Actually, he didn't state what he was going to do afterwards.

"Say you consume me," I began coolly, "then what?"

"Why, I will do as I always do; hide and silently absorb human souls to continue recovering all the power I lost long ago."

I gaped. "That's what you do?"

"Do you have a problem with that?" He said, eyebrow raised.

"Not quite. I'm all for the whole 'sacrifices are needed' stuff but, is this at random or are you picking and choosing?" Playing god I meant. Was he playing God whilst no one was looking, was my underlying question. I didn't understand why I wanted to know exactly what he was doing; people I didn't know, never would and are needed for the war effort are people I couldn't bring myself to care about. Yet…

He picked up on the underlying inquiry. "You could say that's what I do. But then, we all do, do we not? You've murdered your fair share, boy. Does that make you god? Hardly. It's the same in this circumstance."

With an unreadable expression, I said tonelessly, "what would you know of my body count?"

"Enough. I can understand the texture of your soul; of both your pleasurable and painful feelings toward ending another's life, of your annihilation of at least one village's worth of people. Of how you enjoy music involving some sort of electrical instrument and drums, 'women', some place known as 'murica', some type of moving picture constructed with pixels and big breasted women, shiny objects, being fantastic and Jesus, since he is 'awesome'. I know _all_ that from your soul, my Dear Adam."

"I see…" Could he detect me being from the future? No, otherwise he wouldn't want to merge with me to find out about my origins, exactly…yet, to know so much just from one glance, at my soul no less…

If I ever had any doubts this doppelganger was near-mythical, they were crushed then and there.

Anyway, now came decision time. Let myself be assimilated and used by the Heart of Innocence as another faceless, easily replaceable body, or try to escape and live my life as I see fit, potentially saving or killing many?

…Hm. Tough one. Ah! Of course! How could I forget this old, ingenious method of choosing from days long ago?

Eenie meanie miney moe, catch a squealer by his lion, and if he toe leg him go, eeeny meenie miney moe.

Oh. Let myself be assimilated. Fate, you are an asshole. No, _the _asshole. The most asshole of assholes in assholistory. Just to spite the bastard, Imma live my life, since I ain't gonna live forever!

…Did I just…?

…

…Baron, this is usually the part where you interrupt with a 'I think you just did'…

…

Fine then. Ignore me asshole; two can play the silent treatment game.

…

I AM BEING VERY SILENT, DO NOT PAY ATTENTION TO ME, I AM BEING VERY SILENT, DO NOT PAY ATTENTION TO ME!

…

Sneaky sneaky sneaky sneaky sneaky sneaky sneaky sneaky.

…

GOD DAMNIT I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF BEING SILENT, PAY ATTENTION TO ME YOU PEDOPHILIC, PRETENTIOUS, CHILD MOLESTING, FLASHY ASSHOLE!

…

Alright then. "…" to you as well.

…

Later, introverted jackass.

Back to the matter of escape though, I didn't know how. Fact of the matter is, last time I escaped a 'Soul Dimension' was when my Innocence, using my body, consumed Orochi, thus breaking the place apart. I seriously doubted that, Innocence-less, could defeat the Heart of Innocence and then 'eat' him, so that was out.

Bargain?

"Say that I didn't want to be here," I spoke, breaking the silence that had accumulated during my plotting. "What would one need to escape?"

"Why, my consent of course. The only ways of escaping my Sōru sunpō are either by destroying me, thus shattering it and spilling you back into the physical dimension, or by consuming me, which results in exactly the same event."

Reason?

"Dude, you don't want my soul. It's made of solid AIDs, and will seriously mess up your shit."

"Hm. Nice try. But no."

Threaten?

"Eh…" FUCK NO. He's the heart of Innocence! I'd have a better chance getting Baron away from a child! *ZING!*

Con?

…

…Nope…

My options had dwindled; my hastily laid plans had become uprooted and disposed of via proverbial airlock.

There was no chance. _I _had no chance. I was going to be absorbed, either since I was too incompetent to find my way out, or God had finally grown tired of ramming me in the ass and decided to simply dispose of me through his more than likely metrosexual son…

Damnit, was this really the end? Death, from soul assimilation? Ending not with a bang, but with a whimper? Logic dictates that I don't do a damn thing; it'd just a waste of effort, given that he is the Heart of Innocence after all…

But, I thought with a fatalistic/hopeful smirk, whether I be aligned to the Black Order or not, I'm still an Exorcist, may be not literally but in mind I am; and in mind the only way I know to live, is to overcome the impossible.

Inspiration struck my mind like a hammer, whacking the proverbial nail straight into place, and sealed my course of action in place.

Standing from my chair, I raised my handless arm, and pointed it straight at the Heart of Innocence. I only hoped to whatever God there was this bloody worked…

"What is it, my Dear Adam~?" My soon to be opponent called, honey-dripping incarnate.

"Heart of Innocence," I began, conjuring all my courage for what I was about to do next…

"I challenge you to-"

* * *

**AN: DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN! What? What does Adam Phoenix Millennium challenge the Heart of Innocence to? Why was Adam acting the way he did, in the beginning of the chapter, showing the future?**

**ALL THESE QUESTIONS AND MORE WILL BE ANSWERED, NEXT TIME, IN THE NEXT TIME CHAPTER BALL Z!**

**...**

**...No, not funny. Sigh. I think I'm losing my touch. Whilst you're mother may disagree, I still think I am.**

**ANYWAY OTHER THINGS**

***Cue casual music, of any kind you can think of that fits casualness***

**Just want y'all to know; I got a Poll up, about how much you folks like Adam Phoenix Millennium. Tell me; do you hate him, love him, or just don't care? Your input, and I kid you not, will in fact effect the story.**

**Anyway, see y'all later.**


	58. To a D-D-D-DUEL!

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

* * *

_Chapter 48: The Descent, II: To a D-D-D-DUEL!_

* * *

**AN: Welcome to the second chapter in the series of many for the Adam's Downfall arc! The arc proudly sponsored by the Take a Child Leave a Child foundation, founded by Baron!**

**Anyway, jokes so fly they be off the chain aside, I sincerely welcome you to the closing days of this story.**

**Something of note, each chapter will have a subtitle, besides just being 'The Descent'. It will be directly beside the ordinary title, as per subtitles.**

**Now, a quick foreword for every reader of this story, a few fun facts about it in fact:**

_**Serious Fun Fact: I've considered making this story a Harem at some point; either this one, or potentially its spiritual successor. What, you didn't think I'd just end this thing when Allen kicks the bucket? SOMEONE has to go kick **_**Future**_** Allen's ass to! AND the rest of the Noah family! Or, will that not be necessary, and what Adam does in the past actually affect history? Who knows? Oh wait I do but I'm not telling you! MWUAHAHAHAHA!**_

_**Funny Fun Fact: During the conceptual stages of this story, the framework was nothing more than me asking a magic eight-ball what would go over well. This was approximately three months before I began the story in earnest. I am not kidding.**_

**Fun facts will be present at the beginning and end of each chapter folks, since I felt these ANs weren't getting enough love.**

**Enjoy this chapter folks, and the twist. :P**

* * *

"-To a game of Poker!" I declared.

(Okay, I call BS on that one. – _Baron_)(What? It's as truthful as anything else I say. – _Adam_)(Then that statement means you're lying about lying, or lying about not lying, at which point you _are _lying- - _Baron_)(Wait wait wait. Does that make me Ginyu? – _Adam_)(*Bloodcurdling girly-ass scream of agony* - _Baron AND Adam's Innocence_)

Yep. My plan was to challenge the Heart of Innocence, probably one the strongest beings in creation, to a game of Poker.

Who said that Poker never helped anybody? It sure as hell helped me.

The Heart of Innocence, for the first time in arguably ever, couldn't form a response.

Then he did something unexpected:

He grinned like the devil.

"Poker, you say?" He rhetorically commented, eyes gleaming lethally. "Poker is how I pass the time in between the absorption of souls, my Dear Adam."

Wait, was he accepting it, since he's warning me, or is just setting me up so that he can knock me down?

Anyway, fuck mothering asswhore. Even the Heart of Innocence plays poker!? And he does it commonly!? If this were played upon a stage now, I could condemn it as an improbable fiction, or something smart sounding like that.

Quick! Baron! Use your alleged Brain and start humorously spamming ideas you think are good but actually aren't leading us all to laugh at you hilariously!

…

F*ck you too! And your silence!

…

Shut it, you muted transient farmworker.

Anyway, the Heart of Innocence snapped his fingers, making a table with poker deck appear instantly between us. I, not needing a cue, sat on one end, the Heart of Innocence arrogantly and yet elegantly mimicking me.

"It doesn't take a genius to comprehend what will be wagered, your freedom from me and your information from yourself. Instead, let's get down to it, my Dear Adam." He spoke, shuffling the deck and near unnoticeably slipping a few good cards up his sleeves. 'Near' being the keyword. Out of nowhere, the cards were handed out by a suddenly appearing Apocryphos, wearing a matching green Dealer hat. He looked completely retarded, I told him as much, and the Heart had to verbally restrain his protector from removing my other arm.

We took our cards, saw their value, and then began.

* * *

_**BLACK ORDER HQ, KOMUI'S OFFICE**_

* * *

Komui was afraid.

No, scratch that, _terrified_.

Why? Why indeed. Lenalee scared him, now. How? Why? When did it start? Is asking a lot of questions technically writing well? To truly understand, one must know the circumstances.

Allen's and Kanda, when giving their report of their mission to the Enslaved Town, the blue-haired Exorcist had keeled over suddenly, clutching his head.

His regenerative powers had invoked itself, randomly, somehow causing thorns to sprout from his eyes. No one knew what was happening, so Komui had thought it best to simply send him to the medical bay, swallow his pride, and then ask Bak or anyone else at the Asia branch for that matter, what could be happening to Kanda.

A _really _pissed off Kanda arriving at the infirmary later, Komui was on the phone to call his arch-nemesis so to speak.

Bak-_chan _(as Komui so 'lovingly' referred to him) had been, well, Bak-chan. Self-centred, annoying, whiny; too the point where Reever, whom overheard Komui and Bak's conversation couldn't help but comment on their similarities. The HQ's supervisor had snapped at the Australian, telling him to mind his own business before he gave him the same treatment he gave _everyone _who looked naughtily at his dear Lenalee.

Reever was currently pissing his pants doing his work a thousand times above what should be humanly possible.

Anyway, Bak had stated that he knew nothing about why Kanda's regenerative powers would flip out like that, but knew one thing and one thing definitely; Kanda's regenerative powers _regenerated_, meaning something had happened to his mind.

Both knew it to be a longshot that his memory or other such thing had been tampered with, yet it seemed the most logical way to explain such an occurrence. He certainly didn't have his _head _or _eyes_ removed, after all.

The thorns though; they threw both Branch Supervisor's through dozens of hoops. Neither could think of an explanation to _that_; instead, they came to the joined consensus of either them accidently inhaling certain chemicals at the labs, or too wait and see if Kanda knew.

Komui swiftly entered the Infirmary, not taking all that long to find and then speak to Kanda. He relayed his story of what occurred, sparing no detail, too all those present.

Allen had reacted surprisingly not at all to being called a killer, but Komui suspected the boy was merely refusing to show his emotions. A dangerous idea, he thought then and now.

Lenalee had entered just before the Sword-wielding Exorcist spoke of Adam's mind-being-fucked-upness.

"…Adam was there, too," that earned a gasp and a wide eyed stared from everyone and Lenalee respectively. "Only, a lot more messed up in the head. Apparently, the Noah had 'perfected him' or some shit like that. They removed his conscience, making him nothing more than a bloodthirsty animal who laughed a lot. He was worse than the Beansprout in the aspect of being annoying." For once, Allen didn't rise to jab.

Lenalee had left the room, the news that the person she had confided in, trusted even, had been turned into practically an Akuma, making her leave bordering on tears.

Komui didn't follow her, figuring she probably wanted to be alone.

That was the mistake he right now was regretting.

Afterwards, the information was handed to Central. Teams were dispatched to track Adam, their purpose two-fold; to locate a trail then use it find Adam and, if possible, the Heart.

They had orders to kill Adam if they couldn't capture him, although the supervisor doubted such measures were necessary just as much as he hoped they weren't necessary. If Komui knew anything about Central's Agents, 'CROW' agents that is, they often knew what they were doing more than Exorcists did, which brought him relief albeit not much.

Soon after, life resumed despite the earth-shattering news. Lenalee was handed a mission; Kanda had managed to become healthy enough for another, and was sent with her. Allen was sent a mission with Lavi, much to his ire (Allen had very loudly stated how he wanted to be on the team trying to find Adam, as he was his friend and the one who could talk him down if need be), the hour after.

Whilst the mission with Lenalee and Kanda had transpired, nothing of note happened in the Black Order. After it ended, quite a few things changed.

The first warning sign that Komui could interpret after waking up, getting dressed and making himself a pot of coffee, was in said drink.

Or former drink, rather.

Immediately after he finished making his coffee, he stumbled. His mug fell to the ground, broke, and coffee stained the paper-covered floor of his office.

What caused him to stumble was…he actually wasn't sure. A wave of some kind. A wave of foreboding, he supposed? He wasn't certain in anyway.

However, trusting his near-sixth sense-esq premonition to have been a bad omen, Komui dialled Kanda's Golem, just trying to see how Lenalee was going.

Kanda's answer mortified him beyond belief.

Apparently, she had been acting off…at first. Later, when the mission came to a large fight against Akuma, Lenalee had done something very un-Lenalee; she had charged straight in, abandoning her sense of caution and giving in to her anger.

Kanda still hadn't blinked after watching Lenalee let out her aggression on a small army of Akuma.

That was 40 minutes ago, at the time Komui called.

The supervisor, subsequently, asked for his sister. Kanda sighed, complied, and soon enough Komui could hear an uncharacteristically apathetic voice speak to him.

"Yes, Supervisor?" That alone made Komui unbelievably scared. Lenalee _always _addressed him as 'brother'. For her to do so…meant something awful had occurred.

What, he wasn't sure. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know, either.

Well, he _did _but he didn't _really,_ if you get what I mean.

"Lenalee?" He hesitantly called out, voice ghost-like.

A brief pause; not unlike the kind where you're spoken at in. "It is I, Supervisor. What is this about?"

There she went on again. 'Supervisor' and not 'Brother'. Now Komui was _seriously _worried.

So he acted like, well, himself, "ooooooh nothing much, BESIDES ME BEING WORKED TO DEATH! THEY HAVE ME SIGNING REPORT AFTER REPORT AFTER REPORT! MY WHOLE ARM FEELS LIKE IT CAN BE DETACHED IN A MOMENT! REEVER IS BEING MEAN AGAIN, AND NO ONE LIKES ME! _SAVE MEEEEEE_~~~!" when really he wanted to gauge a reaction.

Lenalee, normally, would stomach him so to speak, say 'sure, Brother', and continue on the conversation.

She didn't do any of that. "Shut it, Supervisor, and can you just inquire about whatever it is you want quickly?"

Said Black Order employee's eyes widened fearfully. _My Dear Sweet Lenalee SWORE?!_ He thought, panicked. _Now I _know _something's wrong, definitely._

"Lenalee? What's wrong?" Her Older Brother inquired, anaemic.

"Nothing, Supervisor." She returned with slight force behind her equanimity.

"My Dear Sweet Lenalee, I can't help if you don't let me…" The European Branch head replied.

"Who said I needed help for something like this?" His Dear Sweet Lenalee's tone froze him over.

"…Lenalee?" He tried, without a response for several seconds.

"…" Silence; the lack of sound, came through.

Then, "goodbye Supervisor. If you won't ask whatever question it is you have, then I'll have to call this conversation ov-"

"Lenalee." Komui Lee stated, forcefully. Oh, how he hated to act like this toward his Dear Sweet Lenalee, but…if she wouldn't tell him, then he'd have to _make _her tell him. "As your _superior_ I order you to tell me what is making you act this way. Exorcists need to be both physically and mentally sound, to fight in this secret war."

When all became quiet, Komui started fretting. Had he really just used his authority to force information out of his sister? Yes, he had. Could he live with that? It didn't matter. As per his responsibilities as a Supervisor, _and _an Older Brother he'd have to. No matter the suffering, no matter the cost; peace of mind, or personal wellbeing; as a Supervisor of the European Branch, he'd do anything to protect those he cares for, and was assigned to protect, which commonly overlapped funnily enough.

Even if it meant bearing the shame of failed decisions, that resulted in the alienation of his sister and deaths of his comrades.

"…So that's how it is, huh? Guess she was right then." In trace amounts, Komui could detect…sorrow? "I'll be seeing you Supervisor, after the mission is completed.

Goodbye."

The European Branch Supervisor, Mad Scientist (or so he is fabled) of the Black Order, underappreciated (or so he says) slave worker, sister-complex having brother of Lenalee Lee fell silent in shock.

"…L-Lenalee?" He attempted, but her words held true; it had been 'goodbye'.

What was up with his sister…?

* * *

_**WHAT **_**WAS **_**IN FACT UP WITH HIS SISTER**_

* * *

"_See? Told you so~~~. No human is infallible; even your brother, your icon, your _God_. He abused his authority, just to get answers."_ A voice with a mild French accent playfully, yet seriously spoke in a sing-song tone to Lenalee the moment the call ended.

Turning around swiftly, Lenalee stared straight into her own shadow's face, which was strangely, smiling, unlike her downtrodden expression.

"But that's because _you _pushed him!" The Exorcist defended stubbornly, mind reeling from the revelation that she truly couldn't depend on anyone, or so the 'shadow' said.

"_Uhuhuhuh! Au contraire mon cheri!"_ The pig-tailed girl briefly wondered if her shadow would stop acting somewhat stereotypical for a Frenchwoman….shadow…thing. _"_You_ spoke to _your _brother, of who proved your worshipping of him to be wrong by forcing you to tell him about 'your problems'. He just toyed with you, abusing his authority, even on his _Dear Sweet Lenalee_," _the name used by Komui was drenched in honey and sarcasm, half and half, _"proving my point. You _truly _can't depend on anyone."_

"Y-you're wrong!" The wielder of the Dark Boots wanted her statement so desperately to be true…

"_N~~~ope! I'm right! And yo~~~u know it! You _have _to be strong for, guess who, me myself and _I_! No one else~~~! Otherwise, all you are, is nothing more than a shadow of another human being~, sapping their strength like a parasi~~~te! And if there's anything I know about my Dear Sweet Wenawee, she absolutely _ha~~~tes_ not contributing~! So~~~, unless you want to forever be nothing more than a burden~, you need strength, the kind you get only~ from standing on your own~~~!"_ For a being that was literally just an absence of light, it was remarkably jovial.

Lenalee stared, anguished, at the shadow strewn across the ground and wall, the light causing its being flickering as all candles do. The flames waved exotically, painting the ordinary late 19th century village home orange mostly.

The silence periodically broke when the flames actually made noise, however slight, eventually merely becoming an ignored feature in favour of absolute silence.

The sister of Komui Lee continued pensively gazing at the darkness, her shadow, even when her eyes started to tear up. _It's true!_ She thought, tears flowing freely as she sunk to her knees. _Brother, I can't even rely on him, because he's human…even if he is a good person, I can't depend on him completely, like I always have. Nor can I depend on my friends like that; they're human too, no matter however negligible they are in that regard._

_My friends, my world…I swore to protect them, and to do so, I can't rely on anyone…my shadow, it's right. I have to be strong, _for me, _and not anyone else, otherwise I won't be truly strong; I'll just be relying on someone else's strength._

"_Have you finished crying, my Dear Sweet Wenawee?" _The being of blackness said, still maintaining that seemingly impossible blend of seriousness, playfulness and a singsong tone. _"If you are~, then we have lots of work to do~! For starters, we'll work on a mask for you to wear around others who don't understand~ you~~~! Sound go~~~od my Dear Sweet Wenawee?"_

Said girl sat for a moment more, then stood up, wiping away her tears and adopting a fierce expression.

She made an internal vow then; for the sake of herself, her friends, _and _her brother, she wouldn't depend on them.

And she swore, oh she _swore_, lest death befall upon her, she was going to uphold that vow.

"Teach me, then, my shadow." Lenalee spoke. "How to _truly _be strong."

"_O~kay~~~! But from now on, you have to call me Shadow-sensei~, okay~?"_

The Exorcist nodded, her skin darkening as her shadow receded.

"Let's start then…" Stigmata lined Komui Lee's sister's forehead.

Her shadow finished receding, where it had once been becoming the colour it normally is. She now stood, like a monument, lacking a shadow.

The assimilation wasn't completely though; the shadow previously strewn across the ground and wall, with her appearance although only in shape and size, became a near-invisible cloak covering her body.

Whilst the cloak was only visible to the keenest of eyes, none could miss the evil glint of the cloak's smile, as it shone a brilliantly diabolical white.

"…Shadow-sensei."

* * *

**AN:**

**Wow, damn Noah Lenalee, u scary. Anyway, you guys didn't honestly think I forgot about how Lenalee is a Noah and all? Just like how Allen in canon at the moment is being affected by the 14****th****, and Adam is being affected by the Millennium Earl in his head, (Notice how he's somewhat…different than he was to start out with?) Lenalee has to be affected by the 16****th****. (Who's the 15****th**** you may ask? You'll have to wait and see~~~. :P )**

**Bonus points if you get what Lenalee's the Noah of. I think I made it clear, ish. :P**

**Anyway, fun facts!:**

_**Serious Fun fact: Adam originally was going to be called 'Matt' as a shout out to 'Shadows of Madness', my personal favourite DGM fic. It was later changed to Adam for plot reasons.**_

_**Funny Fun Fact: Originally, this story was meant to involve repeated cameos by Morgan Freeman, of who would advise Adam on certain moral problems. Since Canon Morgan Freeman is a dead Morgan Freeman, we sadly won't be seeing much more of him.**_

**SUPA DUPA IMPORTANT SIDE NOTE OF AWESOME:**

**It has recently come to my attention that Gullible isn't in the dictionary, apparently. It's true; go look it up by definition for yourself on the internet. Don't worry. I'll wait.**

…

…

…

…

…

**HA! RICK ROLL AIN'T GOT NOTHING ON THIS!**

**Ciao for now. :P You gullible, gullible people.**


	59. Revenge of the fat guy (Baron)

**D. Gray-man: Alternate Universe? Try Time Travel!:**

* * *

_Chapter 49: The Descent, III: Revenge of the fat guy (Baron)_

* * *

**AN: Eh. Not much to say, honestly. Conclusion to the Poker game Adam 'n' the Heart are playing. Plus fun facts, I guess you could look forward to? Yeah, otherwise, I got nothin'.**

**Oh, and sorry for not updating; last week assessment handing in's kind of a bitch. :P**

**Anyway, yeah. Fun facts:**

_**Serious Fun Fact: In the original concept stages of this story, I intended there to be three more Exorcists than in canon, so that Adam, Tykki and Rhode could have a nemesis each. Alcatraz (yes, the main protagonist of Crysis 2, only with his powers as Innocence-based), Rebecca (yes, THAT Rebecca, from this story), and Mrs Bridge. (Yep. She was meant to do the whole technically sexual assault thing with Kanda instead of George) I discarded the idea, due to lack of interest.**_

_**Funny Fun Fact: The story, in its first concept stage, was meant to be called (as a joke, obviously, or am I?) 'Adam Gets All The Bitches'. It was back when I thought the story might very well just become a parody of most stereotypical romance in DGM fanfics.**_

**Anyway, yeah. On with the show!**

**Side note: For those unsure of Poker Terms, I apologise but I'm not entirely sure myself. I'm only going to be glazing over the subject; adding to it when I can. Otherwise, enjoy. :P**

* * *

"…Annnnnnnnnnd BOOM GOES THE MOTHERFUCKING DYNAMITE BITCH!" I shouted, in unison to me winning the first round.

I did as any would have done; I began pelvic thrusting in the Heart's general direction, which whilst slightly gay, was totally worth it reaction wise.

"UH! UH! UH! _UH!_" I spoke, parallel to my thrusts.

When the Heart finally stopped visually wishing my death (which he probably could have arranged as easily as enticing YO MOMMA off a cliff with a donut, when you think about it) he sighed and began the second round.

I received my cards.

"Alright! Let's do this!" I exclaimed enthusiastically, checking my cards.

My gut's telling me something funny and since I don't feel like laughing or your mother isn't attempting speech, I'm assuming that something _good _is about to happen! I mentally believed.

Oh, how my thoughts failed.

_**TEN MINUTES LATER**_

"Alright! Let's _not _do this!" I cried, as I saw my high card (one of the worst things to have in Poker) get demolished by his full house (one of the best card things to have in Poker).

Yeah, next opportunity I get, I'm getting a gut transplant. Useless major organ…

"My, what high stakes!" The Heart of Innocence cheered. "The winner is the one who wins this time, funnily enough."

Ah, yes, right. Winner takes all now; the stakes are at their highest. Now, I lose; I die. I get absorbed by the Heart of Innocence, something I'm fine with, but would kind of like to avoid if possible. If I win though, _if_, then I get my freedom. I'm still not sure if that means I'll be alive and free; being precise about what you wish for and all that. Worth a shot, though.

With that, we started a new round.

_**PLAY SOME EPIC POKER MUSIC OR SOME SHIT (OR MOST SPECIFICALLY WATERCOLOUR BY PENDULUM)**_

We stared into each other's eyes, looking for a sign of weakness, looking for a way to make our opponent submit (hash tag not gay – _Adam_)(Hash tag use another Meme and I'll make sure ain't nobody got time for dat corpse of yours – _Baron_)(Hash tag all your proper English are belong to us – _Adam_)(Hash tag I'd say suck my dick but your mother has already taken the initiative – _Baron_)(Hash tag I know what you enjoy doing but what am I – _Adam_).

The stare down continued even as the cards were dealt by Apocryphos, still in his unbelievably stupid green Dealer hat.

"Let the round begin." He stated, neutrally, although, and this is just a guess, I suspected he was rooting for the enemy. Call me paranoid, but I think Apocryphos might be the protector of the guy; only, more pedophile-like. (What the hell else do you call him trying to abduct young men like myself? – _Adam_)(Your Mother on a Tuesday – _Baron_)

Awesomely, the music picked up, and the most climatic Poker game in history began.

"Royal flush." My opponent stated instantly, therefore winning the game unless I had the same kind of cards, making it a tie. (You may end the music now – _Adam_)(Ah, thank Christ…I thought your _mother's _voice was bad – _Baron_)

Well…that was anticlimactic. I said as much, and the Heart shrugged; much to his image as the most powerful being in existence's ire.

"The world ends not with a bang but a whimper, or some other human saying." He muttered, before extending his hand. "Come now, your soul if you wouldn't mi-"

"METAPHORICAL SHOYUKEN!" I called dramatically as I displayed my Royal Flush as well, restarting the match.

(You can start the music up again – _Adam_)

What followed was the tensest situation in history. Of Poker. That doesn't involve the straps of your mother's shirt.

Cards were dealt, were seen by their respective holders; glares designated on each other's souls, ready to bring down the thunder; apprehension and constitution both abound and needed respectively. One long, long visual playing of chicken later, where I and my opponent gave in as one, the pot was started.

We started with a modest 500, each. The Heart, being intimidation and strategy incarnate, immediately bumped it up; the pot went from 30 to 100 in a turn, a 70 raise.

But oh, did he not know how I played, fore it was the same. I knew he was goading, therefore I played it safe; I called, instead of raised.

He remained expressionless, his poker face (literally in this case) of the greatest kind. Completely impregnable.

He called, wordlessly.

I called too, eyes narrowed in suspicion. Now he's acting mindless; not scheming, or not appearing to, which meant he likely was. What was this being thinking?

The pot steadily growing, I stole a glance at my cards; double-checking for tactical purposes. My opponent called.

I called. Nothing occurred, and I had a plan in place that was purely counter-offensive; meaning I had until _I _was attacked before I did anything.

He called. He had a shifty appearance already, now it was double that. He genuinely seemed untrustworthy. And it made me all the more suspicious.

I called. Hm. Make your move, come on, do it, do it you bastard…

He called.

And made his move.

He showed his hand; a three pair and a non-relevant card, and grinned smugly. He just _thought_ he was going to win.

It was cute. In a non-gay way. And in that the look of me urinating profoundly _all over his DECK _was going to be glorious when it came to it.

Anyway, after standing up and calling "READ 'EM AND MOTHERFUCKIN' WEEP ASSHOLE!" and subsequently relinquishing my hand (A full house, highest card queen) to the table, I started hammer dancing, singing the song perfectly on-key I assure you, and was mid-sliding to the right when the Heart called out to me.

"Why," he began, almost evilly, "I do believe you've won."

…Then why are you so smug? I rhetorically inquired mentally.

"Although, I do believe there's a problem…" He started, gesturing to his cards. "…I seem to be missing one."

(You can kill the epic music now, again – _Adam_)(Damn, Pendulum must _hate us _– Baron)

Flipping his hand over and revealing his palm, my doppelganger displayed his fifth card.

My blood ran cold. He now had a full house.

With a _King _as his high card.

I believe a swear is in order.

"SHITTING ASS MOTHERFUCKING WITH A DICK!" I cursed quietly.

"Why, Adam," my opponent began openly oblivious to my comment, "I do believe your soul now belongs to me." He snapped his fingers. "Apocryphos, my dear man-servant, would you please-?"

"WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT!" I exclaimed, breaking all tension and thereby ruining the scene. "_Man_servant? So Apocryphos _IS _a Woman? HA! I FREAKIN' KNEW IT! NO MAN CRIES _THAT _LOUD WHEN BEING EATEN!"

Apocryphos blurred into me; hand uncomfortably close to my heart in a piercing motion.

He growled, and prepared to give me the kind of fisting your mother could only dream of.

I was going to die. I full-well knew it then. I couldn't defeat Apocryphos; I lacked any form of personal power without my Innocence, and Baron still refused to talk. Rather, he just said nothing. Well not nothing as in _nothing, _but rather nothing as in actual nothing, if that makes any sense, which it probably doesn't.

Anyway, if I was going to die, then I was going to do it Adam-style; piss off a horde of cattle with YO MOMMA jokes (including the old cow, literally in this case, herself) and die mumbling obscenities and still relating it to either killer jokes, puns or YO MOMMA.

"YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL OR SOME EQUALLY BADASS AND YET TRUE REFERENCE!" I bellowed when Apocryphos plunged is hand through my heart, and wrapped his hand around my soul.

* * *

_**MEANWHILE, WITHIN THE CONFINES OF WHERE ADAM'S SOUL USED TO BE**_

* * *

…_A white monstrosity with a multitude of heads and tails, opened its eyes…it floated in nothingness, with a slight red hue…_

…_**Where…what…how?…**__it murmured._

…_A gargantuan mass of darkness, even darker than that of his surroundings, approached…its jaw unhinged, revealing a pit of darkness that stole the eye purely from its diabolical appearance…_

…_The white beast stood no chance of reacting in its immobile state…_

…_The many-tailed dragon with just as many heads to match was consumed, utterly, in one bite by the shadow of shadows…_

* * *

_**ADAM**_

* * *

Everything was coming up bloody, I soon found out after swiping a hand over my chest. Well, it's almost the colour of roses…it I was _stupid_.

Reality quaked; my vision distorted; my body trembled, all this and more happened as I finally came to terms with the new asshole Apocryphos literally tore out of me.

_I'm…going to die…_I thought, unsure of how to feel. _This is…the end for me…my death…_

* * *

_**BLACK DRAGON**_

* * *

…_The black behemoth, shortly after swallowing the other dragon, ran a moist, red tongue over its teeth, smiling contently…_

…_**Now that there is no more cleansing influence over his soul, I am free to re-establish my control…**_

* * *

_**ADAM**_

* * *

_I'm…going to die…_

Blood sprouted in runny red rivers all of my body as it decayed from not having a soul. The hole in my chest certainly wasn't helping, either.

* * *

_**BLACK DRAGON**_

* * *

…_**SPREAD, MY INFLUENCE! LET MY FALSE SELF KNOW WHO HE TRULY IS!…**_

_I'm…going to die…_

The stream pooled beneath me, turning my clothes a crimson red.

* * *

…_The formerly black world of Adam's soul's former home tinged red, more and more as time passed…_

* * *

_I'm…going to die…_

I fought hard to stay awake, but somewhere, for some reason, in the deepest pits of my will, I wanted to give in and just be done with it.

* * *

…_The colossal tide of red washed over the dark environment with all the power and speed of a tsunami…_

_I'm…going to die…_

* * *

…_The red was almost completely present in void where Adam's soul used to be then. It threatened to drown the last remnants of himself in crimson…_

* * *

_I'm…going to die…_

* * *

…_The most infinitesimal sliver of black remained…_

* * *

_I'm…going to die…_

* * *

…

…_I'm…going to…_

* * *

…_A dragon cackled…_

* * *

…_die…_

**No. **A voice called out to my dying mind, causing my lidded eyes to open.

Wha…what? My mind was going through the ringer, and then being given a Swirly, so I could barely form a thought.

**You will not die here. As per our agreement, I will lend you some of my power. Use it to escape the Sōru sunpō (Soul Dimension) of the Heart, using my ability. It will only be accessible temporarily; do not abuse it.**

Darkness infected the sterile landscape, I as the medium. The environment blackened quickly, in an outward circle shape, jaggedly, far too fast for the beings of Innocence to react.

The Heart's eyes may have widened, but in the midst of my body restarting itself with a new 'soul', I couldn't notice nor care. Although, I had the sneaking suspicion he did when I heard his voice next.

"My, this boy is full of surprises. To have _that _kind of power dormant within his soul, would normally be impossible, but when the Traitor of Innocence is involved, _nothing _is impossible. To bond with such a being in the first place however…how far _has _she fallen?" I could hear the Heart murmur, somehow, despite the blaring sound of my newfound power rushing out in all directions.

Now able to stand, I could see the Heart mouth the words for Apocryphos to 'end me'. (I, not the Heart. It _would _be kind of awesome if my power made the Heart be so 'ERMEHGERD I CAN'T WIN' that he decides to just Yolobitchesswag it and off himself, or order his MANservant to do it. Ah, if only – _Adam_)

The blackened landscape paled in comparison to what brand of evil given texture came next from myself, as in response, my exuding power formed an definite aura around me.

The shadow of shadows solidified when black…foam flowed out of all my pours, simultaneously. It coated my body at a startling rate yet slowly writhed along the floor, as if to strangle colour itself out of existence.

At first, the substance exuded so much vile power Apocryphos was incapable of becoming closer, his instincts as a holy being to flee from overwhelming darkness halting him.

Subsequently, the foam took a far more regal shape; an armour set of blacks scales and interlocking plates on all my joints constructed of blue fire, or so I believed due to its texture and produced sounds. The sockets designated for my eyes didn't showcase a set of blue ones; instead they were the dark outline around my now solid blue, pupil lacking iris and tar coated sclera. The helmet was adorned with L-shaped horns of solid blue fire, far more block-like than the smooth, near-rotund nature of ordinary ones, facing towards a point in the air above my head, with parallel dark blue lines running along the interior.

However, as per corrosive darkness, it disintegrated what lay beneath it; _me._

Or more specifically, _my skin._

I screamed in utter agony as the sensation of _melting_ annihilated my skin and scorched my existence.

Power…power wasn't worth _this_…I thought through the jarring agony. Nothing is worth _this_…

A retort came from the depths of my mind; a question actually, almost.

**Not even the power to protect that most precious to you? **_**Your Brother?**_

At the time, all curiosity as to who owned the voice was forgotten; replaced near ironically by curiosity over the mention of my brother.

My…brother? I inquired mentally, body still going through hell and forcing Apocryphos to back off.

**It is true…Abel Millennium, you can have the power to protect him. What I have stated once I shall again; remove the soul of another sentient being, and you can have that kind of power in droves.**

Kill…another?

**Do so, and you will have power, indeed.**

At the time, I wasn't able to realise that the mysterious voice had subtly nudged me toward what _it _wanted; destruction, and not what _I _wanted; escape. It had forced my on the verge of shattering from pain mind on the path of death; to murder everything in sight. It didn't help that I had a pain tolerance unbecoming of a badass such as myself but, hey, everyone has their weak spots, or so said…I believe it was Michael Jackson in Last & 6. (The only thing 'fast' in this case would be how quickly you finish – _Baron_)(And the only thing furious would be you, in jealously, at your mother – _Adam_)

If Baron had been capable of doing so, he would have noted just how my mind was sinking within the mud of bloodthirsty instincts, as pain and the urge to maim conquered all I ever knew. And have called me a pussy who couldn't deal with the pain of having my skin hymen broken. Ah, I miss the asshole now, but that's not important.

The power died done once my transformation was complete, and I was truly monstrous. Eyes emanating evil; armour advertising agony; claws clenching carnivorously; badassery scale becoming overloaded, truly a magnificent, and majorly terrifying, sight.

Apocryphos gazed upon me, and actually blinked in surprise, and slight fear.

Although, even a me that has surrendered to its instincts still is, well, _me._

Therefore, like a total badass, the now instinct driven me stated awesomely to the Heart of Innocence and its protector:

"**I have become** **Tsudzurao no kokuryū, the destroyer of worlds.**

**Oh, and you might want to start running. Your about to experience the full power of me going SHABOOZEY all up in YO _FACE_!"**

I briefly mentally thought 'wrong you're' before the instincts governing my actions, in a way clearly reminiscent with someone with no sense of self-preservation, Leroy Jenkins-ed the fuck out of the Heart of Innocence, and Apocryphos, two of the strongest beings I knew.

* * *

**AN: **

**God, could this chapter use MORE line-breaks? I felt bored just TYPING those in. XD**

**So, this is the end of the chapter~~. Hope you had fun reading this – I had fun writing this. :P**

**Anyway, some fun facts:**

_**Serious fun fact:**_** Sadly, one OC for this story named 'Osama Gin Ichiladen' was lost to the ages, after three hours of work into making him, the greatest joke villain that is kind of like the son from a Shipping, an actually good character that was going to be defeated, was corrupted. *Toilet flushing noise* 15 thousand words of potential conversations, lines, plot points, character growth, gone – in an instant. Eh, well, I still plan on doing things with him, just not now. Probably in another story, honestly.**

_**Funny Fun Fact:**_** The first Akuma Adam ever kills in the story, the one on the train in the very first chapter, was meant to be Adam's OC love interest in the first conceptual designs of this story. Tough love, huh?**

**Translation, for those that aren't as smart as I are:**

**Tsudzurao no kokuryū = Nine-tailed Black Dragon (Note: this was done through Google Translate…yeah…sorrez people of Japan!)**

**So yeah, Adam's now finally met the whole 'true half' of himself. Or at the very least it's been unleashed. Either way, expect another denizen within Adam's mind from now on.**

**Ciao for now – oh, and don't forget; I HAVE A FREAKIN' POLL YOU MUTHAFOCKAS! IT ASCERTAINS TO WHETHER ADAM WILL LIVE OR DIE, OR IF OTHER EVENTS WILL HAPPEN! IT ALL DEPENDS ON YOUR VOTE! SERIOUSLY! NOW, VOTE YOU SHITS OF PIECES! ALSO, YOUR FATHER STANK, OF ELDER BERRIES!**


End file.
